It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living

by Dan Savage, Terry Miller (Editor)

Growing up isn't easy. Many young people endure bullying that makes them feel they have nowhere to turn--especially LGBT kids and teens who often hide their sexuality for fear of being bullied. Without openly gay mentors, they don't know what the future may hold. After a number of suicides by LGBT students who were bullied in school, syndicated columnist Dan Savage uploaded a video to YouTube with his partner, Terry Miller, to inspire hope for LGBT youth. The video launched the 'It Gets Better Project', initiating a worldwide phenomenon. This is a collection of expanded essays and new material from celebrities and everyday people who have posted videos of encouragement, as well as new contributors. We can show LGBT youth the happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will have if they can get through their teen years. "It Gets Better" reminds teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone--and it WILL get better.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, Essays, Memoir, Self Help, Gay

338 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 2011

About the author

Dan Savage is a writer, TV personality, and activist best known for his political and social commentary, as well as his honest approach to sex, love and relationships.

Savage’s sex advice column, “Savage Love,” is syndicated in newspapers and websites throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia. He is the Editorial Director of The Stranger, Seattle’s weekly alternative newspaper, and his writing has appeared in publications including The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, GQ, Rolling Stone, The Onion, and on Salon.com.

As an author, Savage’s books include: American Savage: Insights, Slights and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics; Savage Love; The Kid: What Happened When My Boyfriend and I Decided to Get Pregnant (PEN West Award for Creative Nonfiction, Lambda Literary Award for Nonfiction); Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America; The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage and My Family, and co-author of How to be a Person.

In addition to his appearances on CNN, MSNBC, and The Colbert Report, Savage is a contributor to Ira Glass’s This American Life, and has appeared on NPR’s Fresh Air with Terry Gross, HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, and ABC's 20/20. Savage is a frequent and popular speaker on college campuses across the United States and Canada.

In September 2010, Savage and his husband Terry Miller created a YouTube video to inspire hope for LGBT young people facing harassment. In response to a number of students taking their own lives, Savage and Miller wanted to create a personal message to let LGBT youth know that “it gets better”. Today, the It Gets Better Project (www.itgetsbetter.org) has become a global movement, inspiring more than 50,000 It Gets Better videos viewed over 50 million times. The It Gets Better book, co-edited by Savage and Miller, was published in March 2011, and two It Gets Better, documentary specials have aired on MTV. In 2012 the It Gets Better Project received the Governors Award Emmy from the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.

Dan Savage grew up in Chicago and now lives in Seattle, Washington with his husband and their son, DJ.

Reviews

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

The fact that this book exists makes me happy. It really does.

I know so many people who wish that there had been a book like It Gets Better when they were a teenager. Not just people who contributed to this book itself, but people I talk to in real life. Better late than never, right?

This book fulfills its purpose perfectly, as I am 100% convinced that it will, and it does, get better. While not superb in its structuring - there is a bit of redundancy and some of the stories are on the weaker side writing-wise - GLBT teenagers will easily relate to the trials and tribulations of growing up faced by the past generation.

I am forever grateful to Dan Savage and Terry Miller for editing this book and creating the inspiring and amazing It Gets Better Project. I hope one day as an adult to make a video myself and also write a book that will help the fight for GLBT rights.

*cross-posted from my blog, the quiet voice.

[Eileen Charbonneau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to our son Lawrence and son-in-law Teddy, my husband and I speak up for our family on page 240. Just learned that this hardcover sampling of over 10,000 Youtube videos made for the "It Gets Better" project has hit the NY Times bestseller list! Could not be more pleased.

All proceeds to anti-bullying non-profits, folks!

I invite you to: TAKE THE PLEDGE:
Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message
to my friends, family and neighbors. I'll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it,
at school and at work. I'll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens
by letting them know that "It Gets Better."

[Baylee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alcuni motivi per comprare e leggere questo libro.

1) Il ricavato della vendita del libro sarà devoluto all’associazione non profit Girls and Boys, promotrice del progetto Le Cose Cambiano.

2) Purtroppo qualche giorno fa un altro ragazzo si è ucciso perché si sentiva (o lo facevano sentire) sbagliato. Nel 2013.

3) C'è ancora chi si vergogna del figlio gay. In compenso, magari, ammira chi non paga le tasse.

4) C'è addirittura chi manda il figlio gay dallo psicologo (o sedicente tale) in grado di "guarirlo". Compriamo questo libro per mandarci i genitori, grazie.

5) Ci sono ancora tanti bulletti che pensano di farsi grandi sui cosiddetti sfigati. Compriamo questo libro per svelare la loro meschinità.

6) C'è chi si sente costretto a nascondersi, a fingere di essere chi non è. La libertà di essere ciò che siamo ha forse delle limitazioni?

7) C'è chi non sa come dire a genitori e amici la verità sul proprio orientamento sessuale o sulla propria identità di genere. Come se Arlecchino dovesse vergognarsi delle sue toppe...

8) L'Italia è un Paese di cultura cattolica, la religione dell'amore. Fin da piccoli ci insegnano che l'Amore è la forza più potente del Creato. Molto bene. Facciamolo vincere ancora una volta.

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I was a deeply closeted college student, the It Gets Better Project held tremendous power. Throughout my senior year, I would watch the videos in my room, with headphones so my roommate wouldn't know what I was doing, and I would cry over the beauty and happiness that every video purported could one day be mine.

Now, I have been out for almost two years. I have been on dates, and even had relationships. I have found love, and I have found heartache. Above all, I am content with who I am, and have a supportive family and network of friends.

So, I read this book more out of curiosity than any need for reassurance or encouragement. But, I still found it a compelling read, and an important one for LGBTQ youth.

The stories contained in this volume are varied; lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and ally voices are all represented, and offer different perspectives on overcoming bullying and embracing difference.

Most importantly, the stories are, for the most part, relatable. People from all walks of life are able to convey their experiences to readers, and allow them to see the similarities to their own struggles and heartache. If I were still closeted, I would have found unspeakable hope in this volume; as an out gay man, I still do.

My one criticism: while the overarching message of the book was positive, I still found some submissions to be condescending, self-absorbed, and not at all helpful to a young person in the closet. Some authors decided to gloss over their past pain, and instead focus on their accomplishments, with their sexuality as a footnote. Celebrities, especially, had a tendency to offer shameless plugs for their accomplishments and careers rather than a sense of how they supplanted their negative emotions with positivity and self-confidence. I am not strengthened by what you've done if I don't understand how you did it.

Despite my qualms, I would wholeheartedly recommend this volume to an LGBTQ person who needs to hear, loud and clear, that it gets better. Should my perpetual education ever end and I find myself in a high school classroom of my very own, I will offer this book freely to students who need to hear its message.

[Justin · Rating 3 out of 5]

For roughly three years of my teenaged life, I was the target of anti-gay bullying. The fact that I am quite heterosexual did nothing to alleviate it; in fact, the bullies harassed my girlfriend, too, just for good measure.

Granted, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. The main instigator was as cowardly as he was stupid, and he lost much of his power to intimidate when he backed out of a surprise opportunity to settle things one-on-one, outside of school (one that I was more than happy to take advantage of). But he always had a flock of his mouth-breathing buddies with him, some of whom were twice my size and seemed intent on really hurting me. Furthermore, he was consistent. If ten days had gone by without them sauntering up to me at lunch, I could reliably expect an encounter at any moment. Even though things rarely went beyond words, the constant, absolute mindlessness of the regular harassment wore on me.

Worst of all, the adults in my life seemed powerless to stop it, in some cases willfully so. After an altercation that almost got physical (I had a soda can thrown at my face, and pushed the little shit who did it away from me), I was herded into a vice-principal's office. I was solemnly warned by my school’s administration that because I threw my tormentors’ words back at them, demanding to know what it was about “faggots” that seemed to get them so hot and bothered, I could be suspended for “sexual harassment” if I did it again. My parents gave me moral support, but it was clear they weren’t going to get any help from the school, at least in an official capacity. Because I felt confident enough to handle it on my own, I didn’t want to risk making things worse by kicking it up to them until the moment I felt that I had no other choice, which thankfully never came. And even then, things almost went very bad one night, when a van full of drunk chuckleheads (one of whom I thought was a friendly acquaintance of mine) tried to trap me, my girlfriend, and her little sister in a deserted parking lot after a school dance, forcing me to almost wreck my car getting away.

It was a serendipitous combination of my own moxie and the support of friends that got me through that time, but I didn’t escape unscathed. I still carry the marks of that old rage, at peers who could be so arbitrarily cruel, and at grown men and women who were supposed to help me and instead stood by and let it happen. Even though I was more angry than despondent over it, I can easily imagine a victim of such treatment feeling like they have no escape and no hope, especially a young victim who deals with it over the course of years. Even with more publicity of bullied teens committing suicide, many people still seem to think that this isn’t a problem, or even more reprehensible, that it isn’t a problem worth caring about. It’s really sad that a book like this even needs to be written, but it does, and the inspiring essays within serve a crucial need.

This book is basically a print extension of the “It Gets Better Project,” an online compendium of short videos recorded by LGBT and straight adults that speak candidly to teens being bullied over their sexuality or perceived sexuality. The project is meant as a lifeline for kids who are considering ending their own lives, by assuring and/or reminding them that while it may not seem so at the time, high school isn’t forever. If they can endure the static that they are getting from their peers, the adults in their communities, or even from their own families, they can still grow up and create a normal, loving, happy life, just like any other person. The assertion of things actually getting better is subjective, considering how ugly people out in the world still are, but many of the contributors acknowledge this. The point isn’t to paint an unrealistic picture of a bully-free life after high school, but to give these kids a glimpse of the power that they will have over their own life, and the great things waiting for them, once they get through this comparably short period of time.

In light of that, I feel like a bad person for not giving this a perfect rating. Honestly, though, this is only a cover-to-cover read for the harried kids who really need a chorus of voices affirming that things get better, and for those who are close to one and want to help them. For everyone else, it’s more of an inspirational read, to be picked up every now and again and read in short bursts. Each essay is a couple pages long, and follows the same formula: a description of bullying, the consideration of suicide, the good things that have happened since, and an affirmation of how loved and important the reader is, and how things will eventually get better for them, too. The essays do have variety, with authors that are gay and straight, old and young, politicians and students, men, women, and transgendered. There are two pretty awesome comics, and one screed aimed at the bullies rather than the bullied. All together, though, they do follow the same formula, making them undeniably repetitive. From the standpoint of a curious reader, the website is a bit more engaging than the book.

But that takes nothing away from the point of the book. In the introduction, Savage writes that the It Gets Better project was born out of a realization that no parent or school was going to invite him to speak directly to LGBT youth, who need to hear this message the most, so he took matters into his own hands. Not every teen has access to the Internet, and many who do can’t afford to have a browsing history that will call the attention of their family on them; this book is for them. Honestly, though, speaking as a parent and as a librarian, it’s a book that every teen should at least flip open, wWhether it’s cover-to-cover or a simple skim through a couple of the essays. The sentiment behind the book is absolutely correct, and many kids and teens desperately need to hear it.

[Kathrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here is the easiest way to save someone's life. Really. I'm not exaggerating.
Thanks to the generation we live in, we have access to interactive media and real-people resources that can provide the essential information and support that can save a person's life. Being a teenage homosexual or having gender identity or perceptions issues has never been, and isn't now, easy. But even a decade ago these kids suffered in total isolation, either ashamed to admit their concerns in an effort to find a listener, or bullied and abused for trying. Here, finally, we have a media package -- book, youtube videos, and website-- where kids can finally safely go to get the support they need. Virtually every conceivable gender concern is represented (except queerspawn, the only flaw) from the testimonies of celebrities to college students to the freaking PRESIDENT. Again and again, every page pounds the reader with "It gets better," and in any other type of book, that would get annoying. But here, the reader needs to hear it on every page, from every perspective. It almost puts one in a transcendental plane, all these totally different stories that are essentially the same story, that everyone suffers in high school, but the good thing is, high school ALWAYS ends. Most high schoolers can't see that far ahead, and is it possible no one's told them this before? Five kids (that we know for sure) committed suicide in late 2010 due to gender issues, so I don't think they heard.
I have to quote David Sedaris, because he's so good at saying everything, "...all the best people are tormented in junior high school. If they're not getting harassed for being gay, they're bound to get it for being too smart, too loud, or too independent. It's always something, and then you get older, and things change for the better...This is not to say that every homosexual automatically gets what he or she dreams of -- that would be too fair...It helps, too, to keep a diary, to record the many injustices you've suffered, and later turn them into stories. You can't do anything with people being nice to you. People being awful, though; that's gold, so mine it while you can."
Sara Sperling's contribution is also especially compelling. A lesbian mother of a young daughter, Sperling makes her plea not just for the good of the reader, but also the needs of the coming generation. She says, "I need you young people...to stay around. I need you to make this world a better place for my daughter. I don't want her to ever, ever think twice about telling people that she has two moms. So if you're out there and you're struggling, I need you to stay around. I need your help. I need you to be your authentic self and make this world better for my little girl."
And finally, transgender Kate Bornstein finishes the book with the argument that anything, ANYTHING is a better choice than suicide, as long as you aren't mean. If it's hopping a flight to China, that's better. If it's engaging in illegal activities, getting high, having illicit sex, it's still better. Not the advice you're likely to get from your school guidance counselor, but I dare you to say she's wrong.
So, here's what you can do. You can read this book and/or visit the website www.itgetsbetter.org You can contact the Trevor Project at (1-866-4-U-TREVOR) or thetrevorproject.org for volunteer/donation options. You can advocate for the formation of a Gay/Straight Alliance in your local junior or high school. Or you can be the kind of adult kids can recognize as a person who will listen, support and love unconditionally; you can provide a safe place and search out other safe places that kids can live their authentic self -- your home, your public library, your local theatre, etc. At the very least, you can spend about $20 to buy this book and give it to your library or your community's local middle, junior or high school. You can insist they keep it in circulation. You can do that.

[Ellis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is heartbreaking. The fact that it even needed to be written is so sad, I guess mainly because I look at my happy, lovely, wonderful little son & know that someday he's going to teased because of something or other. Someone is going to try to make him feel bad about something that he is or does. This book gets repetetive after awhile, but I am not a gay teen so I suppose I didn't read it out of the necessity of absolutely having to to hear over & over again and to know - "my teen years were hellish but look at me now." Either it gets better or you just get stronger. And I hope that someone, somewhere that needs that message gets it. Because honestly, high school was no picnic for me either, but it's just four years of your life. It seems so far away these days and I get so much relief out of that fact.

[Liz Logan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great idea in theory, but it's mostly just people saying that they love you and that they're here for you when they're really not. In the entire book, there's one person who gives contact information whereas the rest simply say they're there with no follow-up. I understand that it's not ideal for stars to put their contact information, but it just seems like it's all about the publicity when they say there's something better and that you have a friend in them and can always call on them when you can't.

[Maurine Tritch · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, I am not the target audience so my response differs from the true intent of the authors. Still, I probably would have given the book a 3.5 if allowed...while I didn't LOVE the book, I can see myself recommending it under the right circumstances. What I chiefly took away is that if you're gay and survive middle and high school, you will be wildly successful and blissfully happy. The key to all of this is to come out. Then, you will meet people who love you and do something amazing! Wow, I never knew it was so simple.

I thought there was a disproportionate number of essays written by those successful in the arts and not a lot from people living ordinary lives; though it may be the class reunion syndrome. Could be that these were the people more likely to respond to the It Gets Better cause; if you're working as a waiter and living alone you might be less inclined to go on the internet and brag about your awesome life. But no one in the service industry? No retail moguls or hairdressers? No businessmen or women? There was one essay from a woman who owned a farm that sticks with me. She was one of the few still living in rural America and her unapologetic, practical view was refreshing. Pieces from a former bully and a Columbine survivor were both very well done. But the other essay that stood out most for me was from David Sedaris.

"A gay fourteen year old in the year 2010, even one living in the smallest of towns, must surely know that he's not the only homosexual on earth. He might need reminding, though, that all the best people are tormented in junior high school. If they're not getting harassed for being gay, they're bound to get it for being too smart, too loud, or too independent. It's always something, and then you get older, and things change for the better."

This is the clearest picture of the bullying culture included in the book. While LGBT kids are a specific, targeted group, torture between kids is more complex and widespread than that. I also loved his closing thought:

"It helps, too, to keep a diary of the many injustices you've suffered, and later turn them into stories. You can't do anything with people being nice to you. People being awful, though; that's gold and mine it while you can."

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan Savage started a video campaign on YouTube called "It Gets Better" in response to numerous teen suicides by LGBT youth. His initial idea was to get 100 LGBT adults to post video testimonials on the "It Gets Better" channel to help teens believe that their lives are worth living and help them get through the difficult teen years. His video campaign was an unqualified success and within a couple of days, there were more than 100 videos and within a week or so, there were 1000 videos posted. The YouTube channel is still going strong.

I give the book 5 stars. I would give Dan Savage and his idea 1000 stars if I could. The book has an introduction by Dan Savage explaining his idea and the reason behind it. The majority of the book are the transcribed messages of some of the people who have contributed to the project, including President Obama, Hillary Clinton, David Sedaris, Ellen Degeneres and many others, both famous and unknown.

The introduction of the book tells a compelling story and I think it should be required reading for all teenagers. I made my own kids read it. The message is universal - you can swap out "LGBT" with any other group that is marginalized, bullied, teased or regarded with suspicion - and the message remains the same. The stories told are interesting and share a wide varieties of experiences.

Thumbs up.

[Brian Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

The "It Gets Better" campaign has helped millions of Queer youth across the world, including myself. I picked this up hoping it would be a little pick-me-up read, and I was curious to see how the two editors managed to narrow down thousands of videos into a simple collection.

The greatest thing this collection manages to achieve is to supply the reader with a diverse array of stories and voices. We have people both straight and gay, cis and trans, famous and unknown, young and old. But beyond those dichotomies, we have a solid mix of race, religion, and experience. It's mostly guaranteed that you will find someone who relates to you here. The best part about this read for me was coming across a couple of people who shared thoughts that I had kept in the recesses of my mind, things I thought no one else could empathize with. And it was absolutely heartwarming hearing people express similar hopes and fears.

Of course, there are some stinkers in here. Most of these come from the political figures included, such as President Obama. They are nice in sentiment, but in general are so vague and constructed to offer up much help. The best stories are the personal ones ingrained with detail and brimming with emotion. Those are the ones that will move you, shake you, and comfort you. Luckily, there are dozens of them included here.

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess this book is good... If you're a gay white male that's willing to sit tight and endure until you hit college.

Honestly, though, out of about thirty stories, I only remember one being by a trans* person, and it didn't really address the specific issues that trans youth have. I also only remember a few stories with bisexual or pansexual authors, and I don't remember any mentioning being a person of color.

Basically, while it did have plenty of stories about it getting better for people, this book could have been a lot better if there had been more diversity and more information on how to make it better for yourself.

[Dabliu · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Le cose cambiano" é il libro che l'adolescente che son stato avrebbe voluto trovarsi fa le mani anni fa. Sperando che un giorno diventi un libro di storia, è bellissimo vedere come personaggi noti si siano messi a nudo in questo volume che più che un libro è un salvavita. Una risposta straordinaria a quanti ancora oggi dicono di non capire l'utilità di un coming out pubblico e che dimostra come, ancora una volta, siano le nostre vite a essere il primo, più semplice ma forse anche più efficace strumento di militanza.

[reading is my hustle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot say enough about this book or the project It Gets Better. Dan Savage took his outrage, channeled it, and made (and continues to make) a difference.

Dan Savage, I adore thee.

[Emanuela ~plastic duck~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leggetelo tutti. Consigliatelo. Regalatelo. Mettetelo sul tavolo a qualcuno. Fate vedere che lo leggete. Una persona alla volta, le cose cambiano.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a truly remarkable, inspiring, and life-affirming collection of stories from LGBTQ people and allies! As an offshoot of the YouTube internet video project dedicated to reaching out to youth feeling marginalized & terrorized, this book gathers messages of hope with the common idea that life gets better for LGBTQ youth as they get older and that suicide is not a solution. What a fantastic idea! This book should have a place on the shelves of every school library and be handed out to GSAs across the country. This should also be required reading for educators as many stories dealt with the bullying and fear many felt in middle and high school especially when teachers or administrators turned a blind eye to the harassment. The diversity of stories is what makes this book such a resource. Someone reading this book will discover a story that speaks directly to them, while another reader will find another story that touches their soul and gives them that spark of hope. But the reader needs to search through the stories to find that one, but what an inspiring treasure hunt to go on. A must read for all who truly care about the youth of this country whether gay, straight, or somewhere inbetween.

[Meghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It gets better because not only do you have more control over your environment once you're an adult - meaning that you can MOVE AWAY and live in the city, or in a cabin in the woods - but you can have more control over what messages you absorb from family, friends, and our culture. However, one of the most striking things in these essays is how similar they are, despite being written by people from all different parts of the country, of different ages, backgrounds, and nationalities. One theme that keeps coming up is people repeatedly writing that they bullied themselves and punished themselves way more than anyone else ever could, by making vows in their own heads to never tell anyone they were gay, or to never love anyone or do anything that would ever lead to anyone finding out. And then, tellingly, they discuss how much better and how freeing it is when you're not hiding yourself and your true thoughts from everyone. How people can come through for you, even, if you give them enough credit and believe they can handle the truth of who you are.

[C.E. G · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the essays were really stellar, but I ended up skimming a lot of them due redundancy, questionable sincerity (I'm looking at you straight politicians), or dull writing styles. Maybe they were more engaging as videos? But then again I'm not really the targeted demographic, so maybe I'm not the best judge.

Despite my lukewarm feelings on the length and selection choices, I wholeheartedly recommend this book for any library or school collection. I think the message (that things get better or that you get stronger) has healing potential for many kids, and helps non-queer/trans kids better understand their peers. Plus, just the presence of this book in a collection makes a statement.

I recommend co-reading with The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School by Alexandra Robbins.

[Jennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I were rating the value of this book in terms of its importance to a collection and what was selected for inclusion I would give it 10 stars. It should be required reading in every high school on earth and it gives a great picture of the lives of a wide variety of people in the GLBTQ community. I wish I could put a copy in the hands of everyone who needs the affirmation that "It Gets Better."

But I am not the target for this book, and so it was a bit like thumbing through an encyclopedia on a subject on which I already have comprehensive knowledge. If you are being bullied, if you are queer, if you are conflicted about your sexuality, if you don't have a clue what GLBTQ teens and adults go through - then this is an excellent and exhaustive resource. But it's not a "good read" in the sense that a dictionary isn't a good read unless you need something defined for you.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hard book to rate. I think the "It Gets Better" video project is a beautiful thing, and I hope that it's helping people on both sides to gain some perspective. But video is probably the best format for this. As a book, because the stories are so short, things start to feel a little repetitive after a while. The stories are still good, but it feels like a little too much surface.

On one hand, the large number of short entries gives a better range of experience, so hopefully every LGBTQ kid who needs the book can find someone like them in its pages. But on the other hand, it would have been interesting if Savage and Miller had picked maybe 20-25 of the people from the video project to tell their stories in greater depth. Maybe an idea for another book.

Still, it's a solid effort from an amazing social project. Recommended.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

The whole project is amazing of course. Coordinated and vocal pushback against homophobic bullying in this country is long overdue. All they really had was hoping LGBT kids knew so little about how small the world they were living in was that they would submit to the "authority" figures around them and believe that the closet was their only option. A really good mix of celebrity and regular folk testimony about how small the world we all grow up in really is and how much you can make the life you want when you grow up even, and especially, if you're LGBT.

The focus is obviously aimed at teenagers, but you'll have to trust me when I tell you the messages are helpful for a 35-year-old late bloomer struggling with the same issues.

Strongly recommended for anyone you might feel needs the message.

[Wren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book of short stories was great! It was very inspiring to me because it contained stories from people of all different backgrounds and beliefs, and talked all about the benefits of holding on through those tough times in life.

These true accounts of life through the eyes of queer individuals were genuine, sincere, and filled with emotion. I found myself able to connect to some of the stories, and I was educated through those which I did not personally connect with.


I recommend this book to those LGBTQ+ people who are in need of positive affirmations and hope in their lives, and to non-queer individuals looking for some insight on the experiences and emotions which LGBTQ+ people may face in their lives.


This review can also be found at

http://fortheloveofbooksreviews.blogs...

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book brought back a lot of early high school memories, some good, some bad. Some I had really forgotten and was surprised to remember.

Still this book enraged me to read about some of the experiences people had during their teenage and young adult years.

Happy and inspiring to read the various takes on how life did get better. But still. BUT STILL.

I worry about my daughters being bullied. They're already different from many of their peers. I worry about them being the bullies in attempt to fit in.

I surround myself with open-minded people and my household will always be, too. I tell my kids I love them and want them to be who they are.

Sadly far too often this is not the case from other parents, other adults.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible essays- this book made me extremely grateful to have wonderful people in my life and an amazing family who would accept & love me no matter what. As I am only an LGBT ally and have experienced, thankfully, minimal bullying in my life, I will acknowledge that the essays eventually became a little repetitive for me, but every single one was so important. Five stars for sure, and once my wallet recovers from vacation, I'll be purchasing 2 copies of this book- one for Carolina House & 1 for my private practice. And it's a cause I'm more than happy to direct some money to!!

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome collection of essays reaching out to gay teenagers to let them know "it gets better." I love the wide variety of people who contributed. They were from all walks of life. I think that is really important because if a teenager picks up this book and is struggling with their identity and facing bullying at school, they can find AT LEAST one person in the book that they can relate too.
Well done.

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dan Savage is a genius. These stories are so meaningful and inspiring... I'm moved by the idea of a crowd reaching out to the desperate kid who's stuck and frightened and can't see a path, or the idea of reinvention, or becoming who you really are... all universal ideas. But it's so smart, speaking directly to the gay kid who cannot imagine they have done anything but fail before their life has even begun. And it's an uplifting read before bed.

[Jai · Rating 3 out of 5]

there are plenty of legitimate criticisms to be made of this book - mostly gay, very little trans/bi/etc rep; that we should be changing the structures that allow for LGBT kids to be disenfranchised rather than telling them to stick it out; some of the suicide talk is hamfisted. but sometimes you just want to listen to queers talk about things working out for the best, and this book does provide that.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great collection of personal essays that will hopefully change the way some people live and think. This book's potential comes from the honesty that the contributors enlist to inform readers that life gets better no matter how bad growing up may be.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very, very powerful. It's an emotional read because it speaks to the true experience many LGBTQ teens have in high school. It also speaks to the true experience of most people in high school. Everyone should read this book.

[Sara Habein · Rating 4 out of 5]

My full review can now be found on Pajiba.