Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life

by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Drawing on three moments in the life of Jesus, Henri Nouwen invites us to reflect on the tension between our desire for solitude and the demands of contemporary life. He reminds us that it was in solitude that Jesus found the courage to follow God's will. And he shows us that fruitful love and service must spring from a living relationship with God. Beautifully written, elegantly simple, Out of Solitude is as fresh today as it was thirty years ago.

Genres: Spirituality, Christian, Religion, Theology, Faith, Nonfiction, Christian Living

63 pages, Paperback

First published November 30, 1973

About the author

Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers.
Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential.
Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways.
Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century.
Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.

Reviews

[Billy Jepma · Rating 5 out of 5]

“As long as we are occupied and preoccupied with our desire to do good but are not able to feel the crying need of those who suffer, our help remains hanging somewhere between our minds and our hands and does not descend into the heart where we can care. But in solitude, our heart can slowly take off its many protective devices, and can grow so wide and deep that nothing nothing human is strange to it.”

There is more wisdom, power, and urgency in this 60-page booklet than most books of thrice that length could ever hope to capture. Nouwen’s meditations springboard off of scripture and carry the audience toward a gentle, yet firm, call to action. Not toward the action of doing more, but of caring more. Of not rejecting solitude and, indeed, loneliness, but reveling in the opportunities and power that can be found there.

Nouwen’s insights are as timely and meaningful as they could ever be. This is absolutely essential reading, and I hope to revisit it often, for God knows I will need to be reminded of and pushed toward the wisdom contained in its pages.

[Sarah Mullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s not many Christian contemporary books that I would want to”tattooed” (metaphorically of course) to the inside of my eyelids so that I could wake up every day & see them & close my eyes & be reminded of their words. But MAN OH MAN IS THIS ONE OF THEM! Nouwen is seriously my favorite contemplative author & theologian & thinker & I’m just enthralled with his perspective all the time.

Fave quote: “That is the great conversion in our life: to recognize and believe that the many unexpected events are not just disturbing interruptions of our projects, but the way in which God molds our hearts and prepares us for his return.”

[Isa Gueno · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well. This is one of the most impactful spiritual books I have read in a long time! There is so much food for thought in such a teeny, tiny book. But wow am I thinking! I needed this read tonight and I’ll need it tomorrow and the next day I’m pretty sure..

[Beth Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nouwen gives us as much to reflect on and apply in this little book as many others do in hundreds of pages.

[Adam Jarvis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful little book, written very thoughtfully. Full of compassion, hope, and encouragement.

Two of my favorite quotes from the book:

“In solitude we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer, but what is given to us.”

“In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness.”

[Julia Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great sixty pages on solitude and spirituality.

My takeaway:

“Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren trees. When you touch the hand of a returning friend, you already know that he will have to leave you again. When you are moved by the quiet vastness of a sun-covered ocean, you miss the friend who cannot see the same. Joy and sadness are born at the same time” (p. 54)

[Luke Eaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nouwens call to the practice of solitude, solidarity with those who suffer and hope for Christ’s return is a powerful vision for the Christian life. I have benefited greatly from his writing.

[Laney Dugan · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a sweet, simple yet profound meditation on the Christian life from Nouwen! I found myself reading with gratitude for the ways that he articulates various thoughts and takeaways from scripture in general and the life of Jesus in particular, and was encouraged by that to continue to steep my imagination in the life and teachings of Jesus. Very good little book. I will meditate on these thoughts and no doubt read it again one day!

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have had an exceptional year when it comes to reading some really great books. This is another one to add to that list. Henry Nouwen is quickly becoming one of my favorite spiritual authors. He was a professor of Divinity at Yale, and yet somehow manages to say the most profound things using simple phrases that pull on the heart-strongs and make you go, "Yes, I've felt that way too!" This book talks about the importance of solitude, care, and expectation. He talks about how Jesus often withdrew to the lonely places and prayed, and how we as Christians can only maintain an active spirituality by finding out own lonley places where we meet with God and reconnect with our soul. He talks about the importance of care in life, and how people would rather not accept the kindess of charity if they know it is not bestowed with care. And expectation, that life is more than what we can see at hand.

Truly moving and inspiring.

[7jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a slim, small book, yet it has depths of the deepest ocean within. First appering as sermons given at an university, its filled with sentences that strike you, in a good way.

The main point is about seeking solitude daily to get closer to God and becoming a better person. The writing is in three chapters, each with a theme: solitude + action (solitude is needed for our soul not to get lost in pursuits of life); care (being there), not just cure; and on hopeful expectation for things beyond limits of life, of waiting with patience and strong joy.

This book is easy to read again and again, and always find something in there. I can easily see this as a good support and guide on one's journey of life, and it leaves you with strength and peace. Nouwen can really write good stuff, and this is one of the greatest of them :)

[Corbin Wright · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nouwen invites the reader to reflect deeply on what it means to truly care for others and to find your worth beyond mere usefulness. It’s a beautiful exploration of solitude, shared humanity, and the hope that comes from living with patience and expectation. A short read but one I’d recommend especially to those who are in the “helping” profession.

“It is in the lonely place, where Jesus enters into intimacy with the Father, that his ministry is born.”

“But although the desire to be useful can be a sign of mental and spiritual health in our goal-oriented society, it can also become the source of a paralyzing lack of self-esteem.”

“In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness.”

“What we see, and like to see, is cure and change. But what we do not see and do not want to see is care: the participation in the pain, the solidarity in suffering, the sharing in the experience of brokenness.”

“Therefore, to care means first of all to be present to each other.”

“But cure without care makes us into rulers, controllers, manipulators, and prevents a real community from taking place.”

“…nobody can be excused from caring.”

“When we dare to care, we have to confess that when others kill, I could have killed too. When others torture, I could have done the same. When others heal, I could have healed too.”

“Without expectation, care easily degenerates into a morbid preoccupation with pain and gives more occasion for common complaints than for the formation of community.”

“Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren trees.”

“The paradox of expectation indeed is that those who believe in tomorrow can better live today, that those who expect joy to come out of sadness can discover the beginnings of a new life in the center of the old, that those who look forward to the returning Lord can discover him already in their midst.”

“And that, in the middle of our longings, we discover the footprints of the one who has created them.”

“And so when we share some bread and some wine together, we do this not as people who have arrived, but as men and women who can support each other in patient expectation until we see him again.”

[Brooks Lemmon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Out of Solitude is a great little read. With only 63 pages it's a great book to read on your Sabbath. Lately I have been annoyed with authors who take too long to say what they want to say. In this short book Henri Nouwen gives three concise meditations on solitude and how it affects the Christian life. He doesn't use flowery language or give too many half-related stories. I really enjoyed the 2nd meditation on how we care and cure those around us. I am guilty of always wanting to cure people of what they are going through and this book reminded me of the importance of simple care within the community. I have heard a lot about Henri Nouwen and this book lives up to it! I recommend!

[Ray Timmerman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Henri Nouwen was a gifted writer whose works contain much to consider about the things of God. Perhaps his greatest challenge is near the end of the book based upon John 16:16, "In a short time you will no longer see Me, and then a short time later you will see Me again".

" We are living in this short time.....But it is the expectation of His return which molds our solitude and care into a preparation for the day of great joy." Something to think about.

I could read this book a dozen times and learn something new each time.

[Taylor Overos · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts.”

Poignant, convicting, and relevant. This book is a reminder that our worlds and minds are too loud and we must withdraw like Christ did for renewal and alignment with the Father in order to care for our world more and anticipate His future coming more fully.

[Gannon Foxx · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nouwen's writing is so concise and packed it makes me pause every sentence or two.
- I am noticing a theme recently that everything I am reading and praying about is pointing me in the direction of SLOWING DOWN. This book included.
- Solitude, is such a valuable space for a Christian to enter into as it births freedom when we have a confident, hopeful expectation of his return in the soon day. We are not beautiful beings made from God because of what our accomplishments and status is, we are beautiful because we are beings made from God. Our care for others is birthed in solitude.
- Care ≠ Cure.

[Loreli Cockram · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short and powerful book that will encourage and remind the believer of the importance of solitude to loose the chains and dependence on the world's "grade-givers" in our work, to elevate care over cure through presence with those who are suffering, and to anticipate with Jesus's return which gives us strength and joy in our waiting.

[Em · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nouwen’s writings feel like a long hug with a friend who knows you deeply. What a beautiful, beautiful reminder.

“What we see, and like to see, is cure and change. But what we do not see and do not want to see is care: the participation in the pain, the solidarity in suffering, the sharing in the experience of brokenness.”

[Caty · Rating 4 out of 5]

crying at my desk as I finished this timely little book. Nouwen's words of wisdom, his challenge to live in the world but not of it, the exhortation to suffer with our brothers and sisters while holding onto the "joy that no one can take from us" - it all is a comfort. short and sweet.

[Essie-Marie F. · Rating 4 out of 5]

simple, short, and sweet. full of heart and compassion.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have loved and will continue to love ruminating on his thoughts!

[Allison Mayfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

wish that I could give this 10⭐️/5 - I should make it a habit to read this more often

[Madison Pollock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this in a hour this morning. What a sweet reminder of what is important. Slow down. Be with those in front of you. Hope for what is good.

[Spencer Falk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never underlined a book so much, for so short, I wanted more. But this is definitely worth the consistent re-reads.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Three short and elegant sermons from this spiritual master. The first two are excellent; the third is among the best I’ve ever read.

[Billy Wolford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Particularly liked the part about making the results of my work the criteria for my self-esteem. Made me think about how I have tended to measure my worth by my successes - hadn't thought about that much before. I also like his thoughts about care vs cure. Easy read, concise writing. Read this within an hour and have not stopped thinking about it for two weeks.

[CJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 63 pages, Nouwen presents solitude as the basis of intimate community, mutual vulnerability, real care that witnesses: “joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren trees.”

The story of the gnarled tree is brilliant: “Why is this tree so tall, so huge, so gnarled, so old and beautiful? Because it is useless. If it had been useful it would have been cut long ago and made into tables and chairs, but because it is useless it could grow so tall and so beautiful that you can sit in its shade and relax.”

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite books to give as a gift. Great comfort and direction about how to understand your work--and it's place in your life. He works through the need for and joys of solitude. Then he explains the richness that a heart shaped by solitude brings to the community. He always ends with community.

If you've read Nouwen, you'll find that his style in Out of Solitude is different from other works. I don't know the reason for this. But he uses words a small child would understand--I think intentionally. It's very simply written, but no less powerful.

I read this book for the first time when I joined a weekend silent retreat at a little Catholic camp along the beach in Oregon. This was on their shelf. The book used to be hard to find. I used to pick up a copy every time I made it out to Powell's Books. It's short--a great book to pack for a quiet day away.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not finished yet, so can't say 5 stars, but it's on it's way! A couple favorite passages:

(From Thomas Merton's forward)
"The compulsion to cure is like action without a deep and silent center. We want to overcome problems and adversities and want to change at all costs. An alternative is to care for ourselves, each other, and our world. We wouldn't need change and cure if we were in a constant caring mode."

From the first section
"Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our lives are in danger. Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure. Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our actions quickly become empty gestures."

Both relate to each other more than I initially noticed (until typing this). Yay for more enlightenment!

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short book, but thought-provoking. It's three meditations that were originally given as sermons. They are short and simple, but at the same time profound. I re-read two of them as soon as I had finished, so as to take them in better.

The first one talks about the need for withdrawing to be alone with God; the second about the need for care - for empathy, and suffering alongside people - in a society that's more concerned with cure. The third is about living in expectation of better things, and is the one I found least powerful.

I read one meditation per day for three days, and will no doubt return to this book again in the future. Definitely recommended. Four and a half stars really.

[Robert Clay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nouwen packs a lot of simple, yet no less profound, wisdom into these three short meditations. Each is drawn from a Gospel lesson, with the interconnected focus of solitude, care, and expectation.
An excerpt:
'This is the great conversion in our life: to recognize and believe that the many unexpected events are not just disturbing interruptions of our projects, but the way in which God molds our hearts and prepares us for His return.'