From Beginning to End: The Rituals of Our Lives

by Robert Fulghum

FROM BEGINNING TO ENDWhy "rituals"?My thinking was set in motion by those who, knowing I was a parish minister for many years, have asked me for advice about ceremonies and celebrations. They wanted words to use at graduations, funerals, and the welcoming of children. They inquired about grace at family meals, the reaffirmation of wedding vows, and ways to heal wounds suffered in personal conflict. People requested help with the rituals of solitude, such as meditation, prayer, and contemplation. . . .Rituals do not always involve words, occasions, officials, or an audience. Rituals are often silent, solitary, and self-contained. The most powerful rites of passage are reflective--when you look back on your life again and again, paying attention to the rivers you have crossed and the gates you have opened and walked on through, the thresholds you have passed over.I see ritual when people sit together silently by an open fire.Remembering.As human beings have remembered for thousands and thousands of years.FULGHUM

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Humor, Inspirational, Self Help, Philosophy, Religion

265 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1995

About the author

Robert Fulghum is an American author, primarily of short essays.

Reviews

[Cody Sexton · Rating 3 out of 5]

We have a compelling urge to merge with the infinite and ritual is one of the tools we use to help us transform the ordinary into the holy. It's how we all make sense out of our lives and give it's events significance.
Rituals are also our lifeline to the divine. The divine here meaning an abyss. Nothing out of which something was made. The divine also implies not only a negation or a divine abyss, but the divine as indifferent to the human, and so ritual helps us lessen the impact of this negation.
Family gatherings for instance are not so much a celebration of the way things really are, but a ritual of hope - aimed at how we devoutly wish things to be.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the descriptions of ceremonies - wedding, neighborhood child blessing, memorial service - and the backstage tour afterward, explaining the ritual and struggle leading up to the ritual.

The end-of-life material was particularly interesting, maybe because we are all thinking about death during this time of COVID-19. One source the author recommends is Affairs in Order, by Patricia Anderson, published in 1991. I wonder if the material has been updated. For example, I think there are additional options more widely available now beyond cremated, buried, entombed.

[Danielle Palmer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is different from Fulghum’s other books. There are less stories here and more waxing philosophical, which I didn’t love. But the stories that are included here are real zingers - top notch. And you find out a lot about Fulghum himself (after reading his books for the last 20 years or more, I liked that part). So this book really was an up and down journey between one and two stars up to 5 star parts. So overall, it gets a rating of 3 stars, and a place on my bookshelf for the 5 star stories sprinkled within.

[Bree · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Fulghum for years, so grabbed this at the library while I was wedding planning - it was in the wedding section. A strange book - seemed to be written for Fulghum's fellow ministers/curates.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this a long time ago but I remember thinking that even though it had important information in it it was too much reality for me at the moment. I also read it after reading/re-reading everything on my shelves by this author and I think I was ready for something new.

[martin ta · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as good as other books written by Robert.

[Susan Marrier · Rating 5 out of 5]

With his usual wit and wisdom Robert Fulghum explores the rituals that give shape and meaning to our lives, both the big ones (weddings, funerals, etc) and the little ones that shape our days. By seeing our habits, some unthinking, as rituals, they take on new meaning. It's a matter of mindfulness, though he doesn't use that word, as he invites us to examine our rituals, perhaps improve them (he gives wonderful real-life examples of everything from waking in the morning to celebrating the end of a life well lived), and enter more deeply into our own lives. His gentle humour and his conversational tone make the volume a delight to read. I felt as though I had just had a long conversation with a good friend. His final paragraph: '...I thank you for the company we've kept and hope that I see you in person sometime...and that you feel like saying hello. After the ritual of meeting, we can pick up where we began: "From beginning to end, the rituals of our lives..."'

[Kathryn Holden · Rating 3 out of 5]

My dad gave me this book 25 years ago and told me to read it then and again in 25 years. I kept it all this time, with his heartfelt message. I picked up this year and set to read it again, having no memory of my original thoughts, but recalling I did read it, bc my dad told me to. I really struggled to read it this go-round. The writing style was slogging through, and honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to finish the book this time around. Interesting thoughts on “rituals” but nothing that really grabbed me.

[Cristina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I purchased this book when I was looking for a passage to read at a wedding. I didn’t realize Fulghum was a pastor. I wasn’t prepared for the religious tone throughout. Because of differing world views, I could not relate to some parts of the book. The idea of reunions held a false ring for me.

One thing that really stood out was the idea that daily routines are actually sacred rituals for infants and toddlers. For us, the changing of diapers is an unpleasant task, but for babies it brings comfort and love.

[Cathy Hodge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and charming this book looks at rituals we do privately and publicly throughout our lives. Public rituals like holidays, graduations, weddings. Private rituals for Birthdays, anniversaries, births & retirements. Then unspoken or personal rites of passage like driver's license, your first kiss, when you first felt like you were an adult. My favorite sections were the personal rituals of morning routines and a discussion about alternative ways to celebrate events in difficult family situations. Robert Fulghum is a delight to read. Enjoy.

[Tom Craven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect topic for Fulghum

I wish Robert Fulghum books all had audio versions, but it is worth seeking out the Kindle or print versions for the less famous books as well. This one is every bit as good as Kindergarten in its way, and the topic of rituals is resonant for anyone leading a thoughtful and reflective life. It’s not an exhaustive treatment, but it is a thought-provoking one in an authentic voice.

Worth revisiting ahead of major life events as well — marriage, kids, death.

[Snežanat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Volim knjige Roberta Falgama i vrlo sam zainteresovana za temu svakodnevnih običaja i rituala, zato sam mislila da sa ovom knjigom ne mogu da pogrešim i baš sam se obradovala kada sam je našla.
Ne mogu tačno da definišem u čemu je problem, da li je u pitanju kulturološka razlika (mada mi to nikad ranije nije smetalo da uživam u njegovim knjigama) ali priče su mi suviše isforsirane da bi bile tople.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This strong collection of essays on ritual successfully straddled the line between sacred and secular, giving the reader much to ponder about just how sacred “ordinary” life really is. The beginning of the book was a bit ponderous but the chapters about marriage, birth, and death really were excellent. This collection would serve as an excellent resource for clergy but could be enjoyed by anyone interested in making the journey of life more meaningful. Highly recommended!

[Eva Tipps · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the author offered food for thought which I always appreciate, this is not my favorite book by Fulghum and I think I own every book he has written. As we face the ravages of COVID19, however, the part of organizing our affairs is very valid at this moment in time and I plan to check out the forms and suggestions further. Summary: It was a good read, but not a fun or fast one.

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Svakako dobar podsjetnik na sve male i velike obrede u životu. Čini te da se zagledaš u svoj život i način na koji obilježavaš važne trenutke, ali i svakodnevno življenje. Fulghum to radi pomalo američko-štreberski, ali sve u svemu isplati se pročitati.

[John Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing book that kept me thinking of Mr. Folghum's points long after I finished the book. While the book is not as good as his "Love Stories" book, it's thoughtful and has some universal learning.

[Carmen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is his musings on the rituals of our lives: birth, marriage, death and large events. He compares a typical scenario to an alternate scenario. As always, his quick wit alters conceptions. I enjoyed it, but I think I am searching for a more personal daily ritual book to read.

[Janet MacIntyre (Yeilding) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed the chapters on weddings and funerals but everything else felt like a stretch- I don’t think he had enough for a whole book here

[Cherie Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is always fun to find a little more “wisdom” from Fulghum!

[MKF]

DNF(t)

[William C · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title says it all. Written well. You can learn about yourselves reading these book.

[Jenn B · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read this way back 2008 or 2009. As I can remember this is the first novel I have ever finished and liked. I'm not yet fan of books back then and I guess this book was one of my influences in diving thru the world of books and knowledge. I have reread this several times at different moments of my life and it never ceased to moved me.

This has served as an eye opener for me because of the topic it tackles. The rituals of our life from our birth until to our deathbeds. I feel renewed, reborn and even washed of ignorance after reading this.

I wish everyone will discover this book, at the right time and at the right moment of their lives, and offer their precious time reading this.

I feel lucky being changed by book as powerful and magical as this.

[Les · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Original Notes:

Not as humorous as his previous books, yet filled with wonderful anecdotes. Good examples of non-traditional weddings, baptisms and funeral ceremonies. Also, an excellent "how-to" list for getting things in order for your death. A great book for a parent to give to a child when they graduate from high school. Great reference section.

My Current Thoughts:

I doubt a high school graduate would appreciate this book, but maybe a college graduate could glean something from Fulghum's advice.

It's been ages since I've read anything by Robert Fulghum. As I recall, I enjoyed All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten (pub. 1988) and I'm fairly certain that I read It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It and Uh-Oh, but I notice that I no longer own them, so I wonder if I didn't like them as much as his first book.

Thumbing through my copy of From Beginning to End, I see several topics that I'd like to revisit, so this book is going back on my shelf for a second reading.

***Read it a second time and wound up skimming the second half. Not as good as the first time I read it. I'll keep the original rating, but this time around I'd give it 2/5.

[Marya Kowal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a Robert Fulgham book on the rituals we use to mark life's big events. Births, deaths, weddings, they're all covered here from a pastor's and life-watching perspective.

I love Fulgham. He makes me laugh, cry, sigh, and think as I read his books, and this is no different. This isn't one (like Kindergarten) that I read straight through and hand out to everyone. This is a book that stays on my shelf and gets pulled down when I'm either planning or about to attend, or just attended one of these ceremonies or rituals. It's thoughtful, thought-provoking, and a worthy read.

Fulgham's books are always a purchase for me, not a library pick. In fact, I've donated some worn paperpacks to make room for newer hardback editions.

[Marjorie Elwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

To be honest, I debated not reading this because all I knew about Robert Fulghum was that he'd written _All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten_, which struck me as cloying (not that I've read it). This book, however, captured my interest immediately as he began with a discussion about what constitutes 'ritual' in our lives. He continued with portions about the talismans in our lives (objects that we imbue with value/significance, such as wedding rings), various rituals we could celebrate, and pages of death-related forms that we all ought to fill out. I enjoyed his low-key, comforting (yet not cloying ;-) tone throughout.

[Lynne · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was a nightstand book that I would read when I was between books. Not necessary to read in order, so I could pick it up and read what interested me at the time, or the next chapter, depending on my mood. Good idea to make events/rituals more meaningful to the participants and have people not just be observers. I liked the one time we made up how to celebrate the winter solstice and what foods to serve.....that was NOT an event covered in the book.

[Nisma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Umm... it wasn't my favourite. I can't say I disliked it, because he ended on a good note. It was the section on death, I think, that gave it that extra star. And the fact that he thanks you and says he'll miss you! ^^

But overall, it was tedious, but I think that's just me not interested. I was more interested in his humourous, fascinating side, than the lengthy sort've-seems-obvious boring ritual stuff... :/

[Robyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was really insightful and interesting to think about the routines and rituals that are in my everyday life. Made me consiter why I do the things I do and why my kids do the things they do. There were parts that were kinda boring or at least not applicable to me right now, but I really enjoyed other parts. I am glad I read it.

[T. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is about searching for the raw materials out of which rituals are made - Fulghum's words, not mine. In my experience, quite a slow read; I am not able to plow through it voraciously as expected, considering my inexplicable obsession with everyday rituals. Pages are best digested by chapters, but not necessarily in a specific order.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great way of looking at life - what different rituals mean to us, how they can be used to connect to others and opportunities for even greater love. Enjoyed teh discussion my group had around the book's chapters. Everyone brought something to the discussion, making the book even that much more meaningful.