The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery

by Calvin D. Banyan

This book reveals what people have wanted to know about the human condition from the very beginning of What are feelings for? Within its pages, you will discover the secret language of feelings. That language is a voice within us. Sometimes it is as soft as a whisper; sometimes it is as loud as a roar. It is an important voice, which, when fully understood, gives you a kind of guidance that no other voice can. The information in The Secret Language of Feelings was revealed during thousands of hours of working with hypnotherapy clients at the Banyan Hypnosis Center for Training & Services. It came from clients who spoke to us both in the normal waking state and in the state of hypnosis. You do not need to undergo hypnotherapy in order to benefit from this book; however, it would make a perfect companion book for anyone involved in any therapy process or working on self-improvement. The Secret Language of Feelings gives you a rational and reliable approach to understanding and responding to your feelings and emotions. It shows you how to create a more satisfying life right now! You will learn how to overcome anger, guilt, frustration, sadness, loneliness and even "everyday" depression. You will better understand yourself, your family and the people you interact with on a daily basis. In short, The Secret Language of Feelings offers the key to emotional rescue and beyond to happiness and success in life.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction

196 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

Reviews

[Nam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book very much because it gives me an l entirely new concept of feelings. Normally We try to avoid or overcome bad feelings. Sometimes we ignore it.This book reminds you that these feelings Contain important information to you . without this information you wont know what is happening around you in deepth.to ignore is not a good, instead we should understand and act accordingly

[Bookosaurus (A book a day keeps reality away) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Definitely a must read if if you are trying to deal with that jumbled, tangled ball of emotions in your heart. This book disentangles the mess and teaches you how to separate each thread of emotion, how to identify and then deal with it in the right way.

The society tells us to bottle our emotions- be it anger, sadness or frustration- because they are a sign of weakness. There are authors out there, churning millions by teaching you how to focus on positive emotions. Feelings like anger and guilt are demonized in our Be-Happy culture, but this is where this book stands out. It says that it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be guilty- do not beat yourself up because you let yourself feel the so-called negative emotions.

In a happiness-oriented society, this book sticks out like a rebel and tell you that all emotions have a role in your life and no emotion is superior to the other. If you are angry, it means that your body is trying to tell you something. Maybe, you have been wronged and the sense of being wronged is causing the discomfort in your heart. You just have to pay attention to the feeling, sensation and identify the cause and find a solution. This is how you deal with the emotions.

Just loved, loved, loved this one.

Do give it a read and thank me later.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was surprised how much of the information in this book I already knew, but chose to stifle and ignore. Such a sensible approach to getting rid of self-defeating patterns including bad habits, over eating, compulsions and addiction. It teaches you a simple method to overcome frustration and depression. You will become wiser and feel empowered after reading this superb book.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm glad I gave this book a chance. I liked how the author explains WHY we need a good cry at times. It's healthy and its what the body needs. It's true when our child is crying, for whatever reason and we have a bad tendency to stop them from crying, but its a part of growing up and could be critical for their growth into adulthood.

[Renan Asmus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Qual o papel dos sentimentos em nosso corpo? E ainda, porque existem sentimentos que classificamos como ruins? Após ler este livro, você será capaz de responder ambas as perguntas. Apesar de parecerem óbvias as respostas para estas questões iniciais, o livro oferece ferramentas úteis para aprendermos a lidar de uma forma mais racional com nossas próprias emoções.

Sentimentos são mensagens que nosso subconsciente envia para nosso estado consciente, o qual será capaz de encontrar uma resposta satisfatória para uma necessidade. Entendendo este princípio, fica evidente notar que é um erro procurar fugir de sentimentos ruins, (com vícios, por exemplo) pois deste modo você não soluciona o problema, e também pode criar outros. Um exemplo: tristeza é um sentimento relacionado à falta de algo ou alguém, é preciso portanto que você identifique o que lhe foi tirado (pode ter sido o fim de algum relacionamento ou morte de alguém importante). Neste caso, quem ou que poderia preencher este espaço vazio? Qual era o papel da pessoa que não está mais com você?

Em síntese, uma das principais ferramentas apresentadas consiste em: (1) nomear corretamente o sentimento; (2) entender a causa; (3) avaliar possíveis soluções. Vários exemplos são citados no livro utilizando este método, com sentimentos primários, secundários (que são derivados dos primários) e terciários (como depressão).

Outros tópicos abordados no livro: Memória emocional, vícios e como lidar com estresse.

Minha nota para este livro poderia ter sido maior, caso houvesse maior aprofundamento. São poucas as citações de como são feitos os trabalhos clínicos em psicologia para estas questões. O livro é superficial no entendimento das emoções. Muitos exemplos citados para ilustrar sentimentos básicos, porém sem aprofundamento sobre a dificuldade dos pacientes em encontrar soluções reais.

[Bee La Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came to be at a time when I was learning how to acknowledge and accept my emotions. Banyan's presentation of the function of emotions is critical and an often overlooked detail. This book empowered me to be able to listen to my body and meet my needs. I highly recommend it.

[Delanea Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a brain crush on Cal and am a huge fan of his work! This book is amazing and no question has helped millions of people!

[أحمد إبراهيم · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must for everyone to read
It is really interesting and change my perspective I highly recommend it

[Heidi Draper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Revolutionary Concept

If your looking for help on how to label and address your feelings and make positive healthy changes. This is a great book to start you on the path.

[Sakib Rahman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must Read!

[Sam Spina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful in one's ability to decipher feelings and helpful tips overall. The hypnosis recommendations were a little odd to me. But other than that, I learned a lot from this book.

[Kavish · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant book! full of wisdom.

[Maria Regina Paiz · Rating 3 out of 5]

In very simple --sometimes overly plain and even paternalistic-- language, Calvin Banyan explains the nature of feelings and how they are based on emotions. Emotions are the body's natural alert system for us to take action when a primary need (boredom, anger, guilt, sadness, loneliness, inadequacy, stress, or fear) is not being met. If we don't satisfy that need, the feelings become painful, so we tend to distract ourselves with actions that we associate with pleasure, such as eating, or drugs, or other evasion mechanisms that may become compulsions. Additionally, unmet needs from the past are reactivated over and over again when current situations resonate with them, impelling us towards calming ourselves through those same distraction mechanisms. The point is, if we manage to identify the feelings that drive us towards harmful actions, we can understand our needs from a different perspective and address them with a healthier option.

[Rene Frederiksen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Calvin Banyan writes in a "easy to read and understand" way even for a Dane like me.
The explonation of the feelings makes SO much more sence after reading this book.
A good friend of mine said, that if a doctor wants to push "uppers" (Anti Depresive) to you, you first need to ask ONE question; Doctor...What does the do for us?
If he cant answer this, DONT take the "uppers" :-)
This book is a MUST with all people that work in the Therapeutic world..

[P A Iveson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A breath of fresh air.

I have had so much success using the stunningly simple ideas in this book in my work as a hypnotherapist. We mislabel our feelings all the time. And what a relief to find someone who sticks to the old word sympathy ! I am fed up of courses that teach empathy good, sympathy wrong. Most people don't distinguish. The concept and act of forgiveness needs developing more, but hey, even Shakespeare got mixed up over this one. Thanks Calvin.

[Murat · Rating 4 out of 5]

easy to read and understand with useful metaphors. you have chance to read the language of feelings and to get information about this natural signal mechanism of human body. and why it is important to satisfy these primary feelings (lonely,guilt,sad,angry,bored,worried... etc), before distracting them with temporary pleasures.

[Sue Matecki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting reading. Really targeted how I handle my emotions and gave me some different strategies for responding to them, particularly stress. This is not a "can't put it down" kind of book, but it is informational. Makes me feel I am not alone in how I handle certain things in my life.

[Hesham ellayeh · Rating 4 out of 5]

very useful book in emotional coaching

[Jim Austerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read. I now understand more about what feelings are for and what they're about.