Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude & Attitude for a Polite Planet

by Sara Hacala

Is bad behavior the new normal? How do we change it? "Each of us has the power to make the planet a more hospitable, pleasant, caring, and safe place to live.... It starts with respecting others and recognizing their right to be here. Saving Civility is about how we contribute to society and work together―locally and globally―with greater respect, awareness, understanding, and acceptance of one another. A polite planet embodies a worldview of a civilized society―one that is enlightened and empathetic."
―from the Introduction Cyberbullying, hostile and polarizing political infighting, and tasteless and tactless behavior may be on the rise, but it doesn't have to be this way. Sara Hacala, a certified etiquette and protocol consultant, offers a definitive look at what civility means and how it can change the nature of everyday interaction. She goes beyond a superficial discussion of proper manners to present civility as a mind-set that encompasses values and attitudes that help you embrace your connections to others and repair society. Tapping the wisdom of ancient spiritual luminaries as well as the latest social science research, she provides fifty-two practical ways you can reverse the course of incivility and make the world a more enriching, pleasant place to live.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

240 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2011

Reviews

[Julia Emily · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some very generic good strategies in this book (common sense). Some really harmful oversimplifications of the problems faced by our society. Advice to “Be Likeable” is really preposterous for young professionals like myself who embody many of the traits she named, but are systematically sidelined by society. The author would have us uphold the status quo from which she benefits, while remembering to “Smile” and “Be Nicr” and “Remember what your mother taught you.” We as a society face grave problems, yes, and it is GOOD to stand up for values and for our shared human experience. This book really makes a mockery of the systemic problems in American society. I thought it was problematic that she used almost all examples of Black Americans and used veiled racist epithets regarding “civility.”

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title is somewhat misleading in that the book is actually about something much bigger and more important than everyday civility and attitude, although it IS about that, too. The message is bigger and has more weight for world peace. But it's also what each of us can do and teach our children about making our little world better and also the bigger world. Easy to read, well written, and a book that should be widely read around the world, along with other books like it.

[Indrani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this one off the bookshelf at the library as I work with teens in a residential setting, and it looked as though it might be a good resource. We've been working our way through the book in group sessions, a couple of chapters per session. While I have had to modify much of the material to make it relevant to their lives, the book has provided quite a good framework for our discussions around civility, social skills, and what the world expects.

Overall, I thought that the author's tone was approachable and personable (as a side-note, I've been reading a couple of other books on civility, and found that the authors have taken a lecturing sort of tone. Ms. Hacala makes the reader feel that she is on their side - that we all make mistakes, and we'd all like to get better at being civil). She has used a good mixture of anecdote and published studies regarding civility to help convey everyday examples and convince the reader of the positive effects of civility on not only the world around us, but our own well-being and health. This book handles a tricky and possibly touchy subject with grace and style!

[Jaye Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Timing is everything. Met Sara personally at one of her signings just in time for the New Year. I don't make New Year's resolutions, though given that there were 52 transforming points Sara deftly and extensively researched in each of her highlighted short chapters/points, there are also 52 weeks in the year...

The book (available in softcover) provides an ideal platform for both self transformation and 'one at a time making a difference in the world'. Focused, it takes around three weeks of deliberate concentration to add(self improvement)or get rid of a habit (general well-being), according to Mark Victor Hansen and his colleagues (1+1 = 11).

The information provided is both informative and practical. The fringe benefits provided by the author's historical backgrounds of human interactions is as fascinating in the beginning of the book as are what she continues to provide in each of her continuing points throughout the book. Highly recommended. Thanks, Sara; looking forward to staying in touch... JM

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received as a GoodReads giveaway. An easy read, with reminders on things to be conscious of in our dealings with others. Most of the suggestions seem very basic and common sense, with chapter headings including Listen Up, Practice Patience, and Apologize. This isn't Miss Manners - if you're looking for tips on wedding gifts or which fork to use when, this isn't the book for you. Would this book help road ragers or the people yakking on cellphones in public? I don't know that they'd be likely to pick up this book, but those who do read it might be prompted to make some small changes that can add up in the big picture.

[Jtolan1 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, insightful book to help one look at one'self as well as others and find ways to encourage the better side of our attitudes and behaviors. Well done!

[Celeste · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply, thoughtfully written...a topic for this age

[Kelly Frager · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on one of my favorite subjects!