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Unknown Binding
First published January 1, 1998
And I was going to have to go after David. I was going to have to hunt him down.
I was going to hunt him down and destroy him.
No, not destroy. That was a weasel word. It was vague, meaningless. I was going to kill him.
I felt sick inside. It might have been the morphing that was annihilating my internal organs and replacing them with the primitive organs of a housefly.
Or it might have been the feeling that comes from rage and hate.
‹Ax? Tell me something. When Jake sent you to get help, why did you come for me and not Marco or Cassie?›
‹Prince Jake was specific. Get Rachel.›
‹Did he say why?›
Ax hesitated a moment. Then he said, ‹Jake told me Tobias was probably dead. I said this was a terrible thing. And Prince Jake said, "Yes. If David's killed Tobias, we may have to do a terrible thing, too. Get Rachel."›
I don't know how that made me feel. I'm not a person who obsesses over her feelings. You know what I mean? Some people can't stop 'looking inward' constantly, and that's not me.
But it definitely made me feel strange. Jake had called for me specifically. Because he wanted someone who would do precisely what I was planning to do.
‹Okay,› Jake said. ‹Cassie morphs first. She's fastest.›
It made sense. Cassie was the best at morphing. Jake was using her for her special talent. Like he used Marco for his suspicious mind. Like he used Ax for his knowledge of all things alien. Like he used Tobias for his raptor eyes and ears.
Like he used me. For what? For my recklessness? For something dark that lived inside me?
I swear I had to fight down the urge to say, “It's an honor to meet you, sir.” But blood was flowing down my face and I was feeling dizzy. The bullets had done some damage.
I was going to hunt him down and destroy him.
No, not destroy. That was a weasel word. It was vague, meaningless. I was going to kill him.
"It's not right, but I think it's probably normal," I said. "I mean, you don't want to think it could happen to you. So you have to come up with excuses. Ways it could never happen to you. You end up blaming the person who got hurt. Because then you don't have to think about what if it was you it happened to. You even start getting mad at the person it happened to. Like 'How dare he drag me down into all this pit of darkness? How dare he get hurt and make me feel bad?'"