Flawed

by Kate Avelynn

Sarah O’Brien is alive because of the pact she and her brother made twelve years ago — James will protect her from their violent father if she promises to never leave him. For years, she’s watched James destroy his life to save hers. If all he asks for in return is her affection, she’ll give it freely.

Until, with a tiny kiss and a broken mind, he asks for more than she can give.

Sam Donavon has been James’ best friend — and the boy Sarah’s had a crush on — for as long as she can remember. As their forbidden relationship deepens, Sarah knows she’s in trouble. Quiet, serious Sam has decided he’s going to save her. Neither of them realizes James is far more unstable than her father ever was, or that he’s not about to let Sarah forget her half of the pact...

Genres: Young Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Dark, Abuse, New Adult, Drama

336 pages, Paperback

First published November 20, 2012

About the author

When not devouring books, holding down her editing gig, or attempting to coax life out of the weed patch she calls a “garden,” Kate Avelynn writes dark contemporary YA and NA that blends first love, betrayal, and danger.

Reviews

[Tessamari ♥Many Waters...♥ ~ Sweet Spot Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75-5 Stars

**WARNING** I’m an emotional wreck and cannot control the verbal vomit that will most likely come out of my mouth. So with that said, the following may contain spoilers and some expletives. You have been warned. Proceed at your own risk :)

You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

“No, I love you. You’ve never loved me, even though it’s supposed to be me and you, forever.” He reaches for my waist and buries his sticky face in my stomach. “Why can’t I be enough? I want to be enough so fucking bad.” ~ James

Fuck. My. Life. I waited forever for this book to come out. The release date was pushed back so many times, I was ready to say fuck it and not even bother to read this. Alas, I had to find out if it was worth the wait. Well, let me state for the record: This was worth the wait, well…at least to an extent.This story is not fluffy and far from an easy read. This broke me. I’m hurt and I’m just flat out numb from the experience. I want to hate this, I really do, but I just can’t. It was definitely a couldn’t put it down story. Just be prepared for a highly emotional read.

I have no idea what he sees in me. Strength, he says. Beauty. A big heart. I see none of these things. I see fear, flaws, and a heart so full of blackness I can’t give up my own selfish wants to set him or my brother free.

This story is told from our heroine, Sarah’s, POV. Her family life is fucked up. Her dad is an alcoholic and a former boxer with lots and lots of regrets. He takes out his drunken aggression out on his kids, James and Sarah. James has always been her protector; her savior. He takes the brunt of punches and does everything in his power to protect her. The only drawback to James’ protectiveness is his obsession with her. He makes her promise to never leave him. Their lives both revolve around each other. She cannot and will not do anything intentionally to hurt her beloved brother. The guilt he lays upon her binds her to him. However it becomes clear that his feelings for her is starting to become more than sisterly, especially when his best friend, Sam, is showing interest in her.

Sarah has been interested in Sam for as long as she can remember. When they start to form a relationship, her feelings are mixed with elation and worry. She can be herself with him. He knows her every flaw, both inside and outside ones. Even after seeing all her scars, he still loves her. She doesn’t understand why, but is grateful for the love and friendship he provides. Sam fills a big hole in Sarah’s life that James cannot fill, no matter how much he wants to. She doesn’t want to break her brother’s heart and knows James is capable of hurting Sam if he ever found out about them, so they keep hush-hush, at least for now.

While being with Sam is every bit as incredible as I’d dreamt it’d be, he’s temporary. James is permanent.

While most stories are transparent and you know who the heroine should pick; most of the time, I want to smack some sense into her. However, this was not the case. I wanted her with Sam, more than anything, but I can understand her loyalty towards James. How could you not? He’s been her everything. After all they’ve been through, I understand her hesitance. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted her to choose Sam, but the choice really wasn’t easy to come by. My mind and heart hurt at Sarah’s predicament.

Towards the end of the book, my heart was racing and I was eager to know how this will all come to a close. Without spoiling much, let me just state that I was an emotional wreck, still am actually. I wanted to give the book less stars, but I just couldn’t. It was such a good story, but I wished the ending took a different route.

If you decide to read this, you are in for one heck of an emotional story. There are moments where you will cringe. I guarantee you will feel conflicted and your heart will be torn to shreds, but I cannot deny the long lasting impact this story had on me. So there you have it. Go forth and read this at your own risk. You will either hate it or appreciate it for the incredible emotions it’ll illicit from you.

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If you're interested, there is an alternate ending (which BTW, made me smile :)
http://www.kateavelynn.com/alternate-...

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**Below is my rant regarding the drama surrounding the release date. I want to delete it, but decided I want to keep it for sentimental reasons. Teehee. ;)**

Update July 31, 2012 September 10, 2012

What. The. F*ck!!?? Now October November release date? It was suppose to come out tomorrow October! What the f*ck is going on with this book? Just terrible. :-/

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[✦❋Arianna✦❋ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 STARS

“I’ll always love you and make you happy,
If you only say the same.
But if you leave me to love another,
You’ll regret it all someday”

To say “Flawed” was an emotional read would be an understatement. I’m not gonna lie. I was exhausted when I finished this one. It was intense, heart breaking and depressing.“Flawed” is a story about life,family, love, loyalty, loss and so much more. It’s the story of Sarah and James, two brothers who grew up in a messed up home. Growing up with an alcoholic, abusive father and a drug addict mother wasn’t easy for Sarah (17) and James (19). James has always been Sarah’s protector. He has always been her best friend and the only one who really loved and cared for her. Years ago he made her promise to never leave him, to always be with him and love him no matter what. They have to endure one more year in that house until Sarah finishes high school and then they will be free.

”The only thing I want is to make you happy. You know that, right? Everything I do is because I love you”

If Sarah loves James like a brother, James wants more than a simple brother-sister relationship with her. Sarah had a crush on her brother’s friend Sam since forever, but he never was interested in her. At least she thought he wasn’t. But Sam secretly wanted and still wants more than a simple friendship with her. They start to spend some time together, they fall in love and they start a secret relationship to avoid problems with James. Everything changes for all of them when James finds out about Sarah and Sam’s relationship, that Sarah lied to him, that she betrayed him when he gave her everything.

“No, I love you. You’ve never loved me, even though it’s supposed to be me and you, forever.” He reaches for my waist and buries his sticky face in my stomach. “Why can’t I be enough? I want to be enough so fucking bad.”

First and foremost I like to say how perfect the title is for this book. These characters are all flawed trying to find their way, to be free. What made this book interesting and different for me from other books with the same premise was James’s character. I could tell from the beginning that’s something about him, that he is different.

And obviously he is since he’s obsessed with his sister and so possessive with her. I like to think it’s not his fault that he turned out that way, even if he as so unstable and unpredictable. Maybe because I found his character so endearing. Years he sacrificed himself to protect his Sarah and to give her everything she needs. She’s the only one who matters to him. He is loving, caring and protective with her. But he’s also a lost boy. My heart broke for him. I like to think all he wanted and needed was love and affection. I really don’t know! For me he wasn’t an anti-hero at all. He was a likeable character, even if he has his flaws. James’s character development is very well done. I really, really felt for him and I also felt his love for Sarah and also his pain.

Sarah’s character was well developed as well. She is strong and determined to change her life and also her brother’s life and despite everything she still has hope. At times it was hard to be in her head and at times it was frustrating. I don’t know what I wanted her to do, but I wanted to try to save all of them. But of course she couldn’t. I liked her loyalty towards James and how powerful her connection with him is.

Sam was more a side-character to me. He was so great with Sarah. He is loving and tender and attentive. He is what Sarah needs, but maybe, just maybe not what Sarah wants, because at times she seemed to be in love with James as well.

The ending was devastating and emotional and I didn’t see it coming, but I was ok with it.

All in all, “Flawed” was a wonderful read with an intriguing forbidden theme, a captivating plot and complex characters.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

[Keertana · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rating: 2.5 Stars

You need to know straight off the bat that this is one of those reviews you should take with a grain of salt. I read Flawed just after finishing Juliet Marillier’s masterpiece, Daughter of the Forest, and you should know, that reading order did no wonders for this novel. While both novels are vastly dissimilar, they both contain protagonists who have suffered through difficult situations and while Sorcha, the compelling heroine of Marillier’s tale, managed to make me weep and feel with intensity every feeling she felt, I unfortunately can’t say the same about Sarah, the protagonist of Flawed. Furthermore, Flawed is a novel that left me confused. I was forced to simply think about this book when I was finished with it – just not in a good way. It didn’t compel me to question society and think deeply about the issues this book covered, it simply made me think about why the book ended the way it did and how I actually felt about it – two questions I’m still not sure I entirely have the answers to.

Flawed is one of the most perfectly names books I’ve come across. It is flawed, just as the characters and the lives they lead are as well. Flawed starts off immersing us into a world of horror, sadness, and misery. Sarah and her older brother, James, have grown up in an abusive household. Not only does their father repeatedly beat them, but their mother is a drug addict and as such, they have been forced to rely solely on one another as they’ve aged. At a young age itself, the two siblings made a pact: James would protect Sarah from their father’s beatings as long as Sarah promised never to leave him. While Sarah sees nothing harmful in this simple promise, the true repercussions of it are felt later on in her life as she begins to fall for Sam, the sweet-spoken and gentle friend of James. As James witnesses their romance blossoming, his own pent-up feelings for his sister – not-so brotherly ones, mind you – begin to come to the surface. In this flawed world, is there any real hope for Sarah?

No, there isn’t. I hate to say it, but this book ends on a note that leaves me angry, upset, and feeling like I wasted my time because, to put it bluntly, this is not a story of hope. It isn’t even realistic, which is usually the other option when we are faced with novels that don’t feature around a theme of hopefulness. I’m getting ahead of myself though – we’ll talk about the end at the end. Firstly, what you need to know is that Flawed is a surprisingly quick read. It’s short, its chapters are short, and it will have you turning the pages in anticipation. Sarah and Sam’s romance is sweet – if you’re into sweet. I, on the other hand, yearned for more substance from Sam. If you liked Zeke from The Immortal Rules or Jase from My Life Next Door, then chances are you’ll love Sam. Like Zeke and Jase, Sam is perfect - too perfect. For a novel named Flawed, Sam ironically has none, which, for me, makes him a romantic interest who was sweet, but nothing else.

Sam aside, Sarah was a compelling heroine. It was evident that she was torn, both between accepting her love for Sam and staying true to her promise to her brother. Sarah realizes that James’ feelings for her are not normal and while she keeps him at an arms length physically, she too realizes that she needs James just as much as he may need her. Unfortunately though, this is never further explored. We have on our hands an intriguing psychological situation of two siblings who are too close, all due to their circumstances, but we can never see the repercussions or true impact of this type of a relationship. It isn’t quite incest in the way Forbidden is – these two don’t love each other and they don’t struggle to want to be together. Instead, they rely on each other for support, but in an unhealthy manner. While I found this all very interesting, I was disappointed that this was never explored further.

What prevented this novel from progressing to the depths it could have gone to? Well…the ending. It was convenient. Avelynn creates raw, tortured, and different characters, but instead of dealing with them, we have a rather convenient ending that very abruptly ends the story. A cop-out? I believe so. I guess readers were meant to cry and scream at the injustice of this ending or feel terrible for our protagonist, but contrary to all that, I just felt a massive dose of disappointment. Now, contemporary isn’t my preferred genre, so perhaps I go into it expecting a little bit more to really “wow” me, but somehow, this book failed to deliver.

My personal qualms aside, as a piece of literature, I believe Flawed tackles on more than it can truly handle. We have an abusive father, a drug-addict mother, and two psychologically messed up siblings, one of whom is the victim of unrequited love with his own sister. Hmm…seems plenty complicated to me. Now, throw in a best friend romance, a protective older brother, lots of sneaking out to make-out, and some issues concerning sex and we literally have two books on our hands, only they’re smashed into one and the issues concerning both fail to be developed to their full potential or degree.

All in all, I can’t say I really recommend Flawed. On the other hand, it was a novel that kept me entertained, captivated, and I enjoyed it a lot while reading it, but the overall impression it left with me was one of disappointment. I feel as if this novel could have been so much more and truly had the potential to resonate with the reader, but alas, I know this is one I’ll be forgetting easily. Yet, it seems as if I am – as I usually am, really – a black sheep when it comes to this novel. In fact, the majority of preliminary reviewers have loved this one and if you’re a fan of contemporary, issue books, or very sweet romances, you won’t be disappointed. If, however, contemporary isn’t your usual cup of tea, you only pick up issue books with severe persuasion, and you need your romances to have a little more, you may want to look elsewhere.

You can read this review and more on my blog, Ivy Book Bindings.

[L A i N E Y (will be back) · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Why can’t I be enough?
I want to be enough so fucking bad"

Gosh.
This was messed up.

James O'Brien will forever be the character that I would have loved and shed real tears for IF I ever got the chance to get to know him. What a waste.

These people lives were so messed up and so so sad. It focused more on the troubles - the abusive father and the abandonment in their lives and not on the 'forbidden romance' aspect.

To be honest, I believe this book would be a whole lot more interesting if it was more about that pairing: James was such a compelling character, I really wish we could have seen him more.

This book dealt with a taboo subject and eventhough it has been compared to Forbidden, I have to say Flawed felt a lot more mature than that. That would the case of course since this book is NA while Forbidden is YA. Still the only real similarity between the two was the dissatisfaction I felt after turning the last pages.

I saw a lot of chemistry between James & Sarah than her & Sam.

[[note]] I'm soooo not encouraging incest but this is FICTION. *whisper* and I loved James!!


The central romance:



Still the book was emotional and intense. But the whole time I was reading and kept thinking "OK, you're good and all but could you please, just pleaseee give me James??"



Ps. oh my god, how many times did I say his name?!? Nuts!

[Annie Brewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

OH crap! I want to read this book...but ummm, after reading Forbidden and how it shattered my heart to the point of becoming inconsolable and not able to read another book for like a week, I am so scared to read this. Though these crazy, twisted, sick stories are always the ones that jump out at me and I always take the bait, I am just not sure if I can stomach this one. My heart is fragile as it is. Ugh, maybe I'll give it a chance at some point.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


*SOB SOB SOB* What the fuck was that??????? OMG....O.M.F.G. I can't review this right now. I have to blow my nose ten times and sob on the bathroom floor for a little bit.

~Review soon~

This is going to be a hard review to write. I am still in shock and utter disbelief over this book...the ending. First of all, I want to commend the author for writing about such a taboo subject. I can't imagine how hard it was to write some of these scenes. I read Forbidden and vowed to never read a book like that again. I was tore up for days over that book and though this one is slightly different, it still had the same impact. Forbidden is actually one of my all-time favorite books ever and it happened to be the most devastating read for me as well. But this one was different. I loved it and some parts had me yelling and wanting to reach into my nook and strangle Sarah silly. But honestly, this was a very hard book to read.

We have Sarah. She's about to be a senior in high school, she has one more year to be in the same house as...him. Her sick, asshole abusive father. She only has to endure one more year of his abuse and advances. But it's too much. Can she really survive one more year of his sickish fucked up tirades? *cringes*

James, the savoir...the big brother who would do anything to protect his little sister from their father. Even if it meant locking her up so she can never see the outside world, except for him. When they were little, they made a pact that they would always be together...always stay together and live their lives, well together and she promised to never leave him. Except, both of their meanings differed. Where James wanted more from her than her love as a sister, things got complicated. She loves her brother, more than anyone...but not in the way James assumes. And though she would do anything for him since after all, he did throw himself in front of their father on more than one occasion to save her and for that he had bruises and scars to show the lengths he'd take to save her, it's a different kind of love. And in the end, it doesn't work in his favor.

Sam Donavan...the amazing sweet guy whom I fell for instantly. He is, was I should say James' best friend since they were young. He was always by James's side. But also, he was in love with Sarah for years and never did anything about it...until now. But it might be too late. James has Sarah locked up like a prisoner. He wants to protect her from their father, but ends up wanting her for himself. He doesn't want her talking to his friends, go to college or get a job. He wants to do everything for her and in turn she has to do everything he wants. It's really sad. Sam tried to protect her and save her from all the shit she was forced to endure. But it broke my heart...he did his best. I wanted to punch Sarah on more than one occasion. She was stupid...really stupid. He offered her such an amazing future and he put his own future plans on hold for her. He had such a bright life ahead of him. *takes deep breaths* But he was so set on taking Sarah with him and then....*wipes stupid tears* and then, shit just gets real.

This book pissed me off, moved me, made me swoon, made me cry, made me cringe, made me laugh, made me scream and last but not least, made me die inside. It was so powerful yet so devastating. I wasn't sure which way was up or down. I eventually understood why Sarah did some things but I was still upset with her. Her sick ass father finally got what he deserved, though I think he deserved far worse. Sam's mom was a saving grace in this. OMG, my heart....my fucking heart shattered into little pieces for that woman, yet it seemed to mend the slightest bit as well. James was so sick but my heart was also hurt for him too. It's not exactly his fault he turned out that way. And it just..it was...I just...*deep breaths, deep breaths Annie* I didn't hate him even though I wanted to. I wanted to hate him so bad....*breaths breaths breathe* But in the end, I just sobbed for him...them. All of them. What a clusterfuck of shit they all went through. Seriously.

The end. I can't...but I...it just....Oh GAWD, *sob sob sob* Why??? Whyyyyyyyyy? Though this book was different than Forbidden, it was still the same numb, shocked feeling I felt. I eventually loved the characters and felt for all of them. I wished things had gone differently. I wished some things didn't happen. I wished some things did. I just wish. It's so hard to put into words what this book made me feel. How am I supposed to feel when I can't make sense of it all? Why did she? Why didn't she? Why why why.....that's all I can think. That's the word that comes to mind. But then again, being placed in her shoes,would I have done the same thing? I keep trying to figure that out. I guess in some weird crazy way, there is a happy ending of sort...but not the one we'd expect. Only thing I can say is thank God for Liz.

Well done Kate. This book was hard to get into at first. I was very hesitant to read it but the writing was so real, it pulled me in pretty quick and I couldn't stop thinking about it when I wasn't reading it. So I guess that means something, right? I did enjoy it though, heartbreak and all.

[Rosalinda *KRASNORADA* · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cannot rate this book but will try my best to review it



I finally decided to rate this after 2 days, I cannot get this out of my head so I guess that's a good signal

Why can’t I rate the book? I don’t know, maybe I will be able to do it after a few days but most of the book I felt it was a 3 star book but then the end was a 5 star ending so it’s better if I just don’t rate it because my rating won’t be fair.

This is the story of James & Sarah. To be honest, I think this is their book, Sam was one character but I didn’t feel him like one of the main characters. I knew, before starting the book the love between siblings was a one sided thing but Sarah confused me most of the time about her feelings for James.

James is sick, you can feel it from the beginning of the book. He was the main character for me, he was the one who needed help when all we did during his life was protecting other people. He is the one who made me cry, he is the one who will stay in my heart forever but just him, unfortunately I didn’t connect with the other characters as much as I connected with him.

He is a guy who is completely LOST. He’s been working to save money for his new life with Sarah, a new life they’ve been planning since forever. They live with their parents and specially their father is one of the worst characters I’ve read about in a book. How someone can be that bad of a person is beyond me.

It broke him, and in turn, he broke us all

But James is Sarah’s savior, as she calls him and he proves that every single time.



Sarah and James are very close, not only in a brotherly way. James is obsessed with her (or in love, I don’t even know how to name it) and Sarah feels like she owes him everything, and she is kinda right.

She has a crush on James' best friend, Sam. Sam is a really nice guy who also happens to have feelings for Sarah (I never felt the spark between them but I was probably on James side as sick as that sounds).

They decide to start a secret relationship to avoid problems with James. Sam is obviously not happy hiding his feelings for Sarah but he doesn’t have too many options.



***If you keep reading from this point you might read minor spoilers, pls be aware***



Their mother passes away and Sarah doesn’t feel anything. For her, her mother is the person that never helped her when she needed it but James it’s very affected.

As the time goes by, Sarah is falling for Sam badly. She meets Liz, Sam’s mother (my second favourite character) and she starts working with her on her flower shop. James doesn’t know any of this, obviously. Sam is still not happy with them hiding their relationship but he knows is best to keep everything secret.



James is not an idiot, he might be sick but he is smart and he suspects something is going on between Sam & Sarah.

”The only thing I want is to make you happy. You know that, right?. Everything I do is because I love you”

And at this point I seriously had my doubts about Sarah’s feelings because she was apparently in love with Sam but some of her thoughts were confussing.

Sam’s quickly becoming my everything. He’ll never replace James, but Sam is exactly what my brother can never be

Of course he’ll never replace your brother and if you really see him as JUST your brother you would NOT compare your brother with your boyfriend unless you have more than brotherly feelings for him!
I understand she has had a very complicated life but I had that weird feeling during all the book, like she had feelings for him… never mind!

Nobody understands me better than my brother – they can’t, not without having lived the life we have. This is exactly why I love him and why, no matter how much I love Sam, I’m not sure I want to completely abandon my brother. Or whether I can.

I want to heal my brother, kiss his cuts and bruises and lips, and save him from what’s happening in my heart

I don’t really want to spoil the end of the book. I do want to mention I LOVED the author writing style and will read her next books. Will I read it knowing how I feel now? Hell yes, it was not an easy reading but I loved the end. HEA endings are NOT a must for me and the book could not end any better in my opinion

I’ll always love you and make you happy,
If you only say the same.
But if you leave me to love another,
You’ll regret it all someday



***UPDATE***

Mandy just sent me these alternate endings, pls read them, I loved both. My heart is still aching for James though

http://www.kateavelynn.com/alternate-...

http://www.kateavelynn.com/alternate-...

BR with Mandy, Soraya & Debra

[Katie(babs) · Rating 1 out of 5]

It seems more young adult is tackling a lot more taboo subjects such as incest. We saw this with Tabitha Suzuma’s Forbidden, which is an incestuous romance between a brother and sister, both in high school. That book didn’t work for me for various reasons. When I heard about Flawed, and the possible incestuous implications that may occur about another brother and sister (but this time the sister isn’t interested at all), I would give it a shot. Flawed was a big disappointment, so much so that it’s the first book I ever sent back to Kindle for a refund.

Flawed was horrid, and it's not because of the possible incest going on. Even the undertones of incest, mainly from James, the overprotective brother to Sarah was more ho-hum and tiresome after a while. The writing was disjointed and the over the top angst and abuse from the alcoholic dad (who lusts after the innocent, virginal Sarah) and druggie mom, who you blink and she’s gone, is so unrealistic. The flip flopping, wish-washy thoughts and feelings of the characters, mainly of James, and especially of Sarah- "I love James, oh no he's icky because he kissed me, but he protects me from incestuous drunk dad," was ridiculous and very grating. Sam, Sarah's knight and savior has some life in him, but he's a wasted character, more wallpaper than anything.

If things had been more subtle with James’ and Sarah's home life and not the non-stop soap opera schlock within these pages, then this would have been so much better poignant and tragic tale the author was probably shooting for.

This needed heavy content editing overall. There's really isn't much of a plot to speak of when it comes down to it. There's a mystery thrown in that makes no sense, and I can't tell you the number of times I rolled my eyes as I read who was responsible for the XYZ's clumsily laid out. The ending that's so shocking really isn't. It's a planned and blatant attempt to shock the reader into some sort of emotional response which fails.

This is one DOA book. It's certainly not worth the $5.99. I've read better, well written and thought provoking self published young adult novels at half the price, and that's saying a lot.

Big pass on this one.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a story of devotion, loyalty, tragedy, love, guilt, beauty, and betrayal. At times I loved it, other times I hated it. I was angry, happy, disgusted, heartbroken and moved. After reading it I really felt emotionally raw.

After finishing this, I found myself thinking... What did I just read??? It's been hours, and this book is still on my mind. I'm not sure how to rate or review this book... Overall, I'm still not exactly sure how I feel about it, but I feel.This book was not perfect, but when a story consumes my thoughts and makes me feel this way, I have to give it 5 stars.

Sarah comes from a seriously messed up home life. Her mom is practically comatose, and her father is an abusive former boxer and alcoholic. The only person she can count on is James. James, her big brother is always there for her. He loves her and protects her. He can be a little obsessive at times, but they have a very close, dependent relationship.

"I'm never gonna let anything happen to you, Sarah."
"I won't let anything happen to you, too." He smiled, all dimples and sparkling blue eyes.
"Nah, you're too little. Just don't leave me, okay? Not ever. Promise."
"I promise"
"You know why I do it right, why I let Dad do this to me instead of you? Because I love you."

Sarah loves her brother, and he loves her. He has always made her feel safe. Towards the middle/end of the book, things start to change. You see just how complex James and her relationship is. James- he tugged at my heart. He was the main reason this book was so hard for me to read. He really did love his sister, but his feelings for her were not what they should be. James had some awful moments and made some terrible choices, but it was so hard for me to hate him. He was a victim too. Sarah and James father will always be the true monster of this story to me.

James has two best friends: Sam and Alex. Sarah has had a crush on Sam for a while, and she finds out he has feelings for her as well. Sarah has never been allowed to date, and she is afraid of James to find out about their relationship. Sam and Sarah's relationship was beautiful. Finally someone loved her the right way. He was also a great friend to her. He made her feel safe, especially when things got complicated with James. Sam had his swoonworthy moments!
"You think I don't know this went really fast? I didn't plan for this to happen. Hell, I didn't even know if you'd let me talk to you, much less be with you. But then you did, and we did, and... I figured out pretty quick that this is a forever thing for me. I think it has been from the very beginning.

Sarah had some really difficult decisions to make. She was strong in a lot of ways, but she is torn between her love and loyalty.
I've been hoping for a miracle that will let me keep Sam and James. Let me make them both happy. They deserve more than I can give them, but I'm too selfish, too loyal to let either go.

The ending was devastating. "They are too late. They are always too late."I can't believe Sam and James both had to die. Sarah had to loose the only two people who ever loved her. Not going to lie, I cried like a baby. I cried for Sarah. I cried for Sam. And I cried for James. It was messed up.. If you are looking for a book with a HEA, this won't be a good fit for you. This book will leave you an emotional wreck. It was intense. It was compelling. Once I started it, I couldn't put it down. It's not an easy read, read at your own risk!

[Debra · Rating 3 out of 5]

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

A girl desperately trying to escape her horrible life.

She's trying to escape her abusive father, her uncaring mother and her overprotective brother.

Then she falls in love with a boy...

A boy, who wants nothing more than to make her happy and keep her safe...

But, will her possessive brother and controlling father allow them to be together?

Will she finally find her one true happiness in life?

Will she finally be free?

"I have no idea what he sees in me. Strength, he says. Beauty. A big heart. I see none of these things. I see fear, flaws and a heart so full of blackness I can't give up on my own selfish wants to set him or my brother free." ~ Sarah

Before I started reading Flawed, I was warned that it would be a very emotional read and I have to agree, it definitely did bring out a lot of emotions while I was reading it. It always makes me sad and powerless whenever I read about children getting abused by their parents, and this book was no exception. I seriously hated Sarah and James' father, he was an ex-boxer taking the fact that he failed in life out on two vulnerable children and it made me sick reading about some of the things he did to them. Luckily, the scenes weren't too explicit though, so it was still bearable to get through...

The reason I'm giving this book a 3 instead of a 4 star rating is because I wasn't as wrapped up in the story as I expected to be. Somehow, I couldn't fully connect to the characters and their feelings. Maybe it was the writing style or the fact that it was written in first person tense, I'm not sure... All I can say is that the story didn't manage to completely grasp my attention. Maybe it would have been better if it would've been written in a dual POV... Nonetheless, I still enjoyed reading the book and especially the scenes between Sarah and Sam, the boy she's falling in love with. They were sweet and beautiful and I think those were the scenes that made this book for me...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I"ll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But it you leave me to love another,
You'll regret it all someday."


WARNING: The ending is unbelievably sad, heart wrenching and emotional. I did not see it coming and I honestly don't think it could have ended any worse...

This book might not be for everyone but still I'd recommend you to give this unique story a try and find out for yourselves...


3.5 heartbreakingly beautiful STARS


****

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

She didn't die?!?!?! WTF! The only reason I kept reading was because I read a spoiler that everyone died...and then I find out that Sarah, AKA the Devil doesn't even die.

Not only doesn't she die, but everyone else dies and super speshul Sarah gets an HEA? WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?


Okay, this book and I did not get along. At. All.

First, the protagonist. Super Speshul Sarah. She's not pretty folks, not a bit. Her eyes are too big for her head (um Disney Princess anyone?) and she's got these horrible deformities called SCARS *eyeroll* and she doesn't think she's worthy of anyone's love because she can't do anything right and she has zero friends because her home life is soooo bad and everyone should just feel super sorry for her.

Nobody could ever love her, but her brother wants to have sex with her, as does her father, as does her brother's best friends. So pretty much every character in the book that's male (and that's pretty much every character in the book except for a placeholder motherly figure named Liz who's about as deep as a paperclip) wants to sleep with our MC. But SS Sarah can't begin to explain why all these people are so obsessed with her?


She's too innocent and sweet and naive to understand.

Good Grief.

So Sarah lives her life and we get to read about it, about how she cooks cheap boxed dinners and then there's a ten page scene of her at Super Cuts getting her haircut where James (her brother) stares at her creepily and while one hairstylist (slut) tries to get his attention the other one admits her jealousy to Sarah that she's got a boyfriend that is soooo obsessed with her.

LIKE AGAIN WTF?

Then they go to a party where she finds out her brother's been buying drugs, for the past six years but she's never noticed until this very night..umhmmm sure.


And also this very night this secret crush she's had on her brother's best friend comes to light and not only does Sam actually talk to her but he also explains his undying love for her and why he's always remained distant because James is super jealous. Because you know, James wants to bone her but she won't let him.

And also on this night she tells the reader that her brother has been showing up with bruises because he's been training/boxing at the Armory where all the locals go fight each other.

And then they go camping, so we get to read about how boring that is, but a bunch of *sluts* come and flirt with the guys but secretly everyone is too obsessed with Sarah to think much of them. And instead of swimming with everyone Sarah has to keep all her clothes on because of her scars and hide out in the tent and everyone feels bad for her, but really it makes her look classier than those *sluts* in their bikinis.

Then she hides the fact that she's seeing Sam from her brother, bones him, works for his Mom at the flower shop, and pines for Sam when he's not around.

Then she finds out James is fighting in the boxing matches and freaks out on him because he might get hurt (um...I thought he was fighting all along. That's why he was training wasn't it? I don't understand why she is an idiot).

Throughout all this her Dad has been hampering to get her alone so he can beat the shit out of her again, because that's his favorite thing to do, and while one minute James pretends to protect her the next he leaves her off in the woods somewhere and says she has to find her own way home. Because if he didn't then how would all the readers feel sorry for her all the time?

I'm telling you these characters were so one dimensional, so flat, so contradictory it was like they didn't really have personalities at all. They were just what the author wanted them to be when she needed them to be a certain way. Sarah's so timid yada yada, and then all the sudden Sarah yells at everyone. Bam, showed them. Ha! Yeah. Right.

So anyway, her Dad finally gets her alone and beats her and she goes to the hospital and Sam and James come face to face and know what's going on and James shoots Sam and then himself. But Sarah lives, to go to college and buy a house and plant a MOTHERF***** Rose garden. Like I said WTF?

I'm not saying James wasn't crazy, but good grief after living with her his entire life I can see how it could drive him there. Sarah hugged James, and cuddled James and kissed James on the cheek, and slept in his bed with him, spooning him, and changed clothes in front of him, and depended on him and pretended to be his wife and cook him dinner and I just think that their relationship was f****** weird.

I don't know...I don't even know what else to say. The only reason it's getting two stars is because it was barely decent enough to finish, even though I hated everyone, I still wanted to see the end.

And I realize I'm in the vast minority by hating this book but it was all just too soap opera dramatic and unrealistic and over the top for me to ever find any of it sad or deep or meaningful.

[Marina · Rating 3 out of 5]

So..

After considering the following features you may procede with reading the book:

Overbearing abusive father ex-fighter beating the shit out of his children and his wife.

Possessive brother in love with his sister.

Adorable and protective boy trying to save girl.

Girl torn between avoiding her mental father, disappointing her brother and wanting to be free with boy.

And last but not least:

THE MOTHER OF ALL NON-HEA.

[Aму · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Because of some of the comments that I've seen about this novel, I want to start by saying that this isn't a story about incest. That label feels misleading and many readers will be turned off when they're assuming that this features a romantic relationship between two siblings.**

This is a really, really difficult review to write. Maybe that's fitting because Flawed was a difficult story to read. I think, by looking over the synopsis, the basics of the story are clear. Sarah O'Brien is the victim of a horrific home life. Her brother James is her savior, taking her pain at one price, her love. All of her love.

Though James certainly has his flaws, and he will make readers all kinds of unsure and uncomfortable, his determination to protect his sister is so endearing. He is a character I both love and hated, one that left me torn and twisted and ripped apart at times. Even if the story is told from Sarah's perspective, readers will connect just as strongly to James, and come to know him just as deeply. A victim of circumstance as much as his sister, and a boy who has given up so much in the name of protecting her, there is still something dark and dangerous about him. Heading down some rough paths of his own, James is as amazing as he is messed up. So he was naturally my favorite character. I loved the way the author made me second guess every motivation he had - caught myself many times thinking, "Did he mean that as a brother.. or much much more? Was nature or nurture responsible for his attitude?"

Sarah is such an exceptionally well done character. A girl who has quite a road in this book, and who weathers it with both grace and mistakes. Her love and devotion for her brother is mirrored back in a way that is both hard to understand at first and not uncomfortable as much as bittersweet, but also something Avelynn does a tremendous job of explaining as things progress. Connected in ways they don't even seem to fully grasp, Sarah and James have a remarkably intense relationship that could not even be put aside at the signs of a broken mind. Maybe she never wants to believe James has a vulnerable side, but if things have been painful for her for over a decade living with a violent father, isn't it logical to assume that James could be suffering from some similar level of pain? (Her constant "I love James, oh no he's icky because he kissed me, but he protects me from incestuous drunk dad," was very grating at times.) But no, Sarah chooses not to think in a direction that would scare her even more. She never lets herself see how all the abuses have been corrupting James until it is too late. His sense of desperation pushes him to risk every bit of himself in his final attempt to ‘make things right’ and I felt totally exhausted and drowned in sadness as I finished the second last chapter of the book.

Sam melts my heart. He is so caring, gentle, and kind. He is everything Sarah needs in life, even if she isn't at a point where she can recognize that yet. He has an understanding of what is happening with their father, but he quickly becomes suspicious of how possessive James is of Sarah. (I wonder if Sam had been feeling obnoxiously fed up with James for a very long time.) James was her rock through all the crappy moments in her life, so she had a hard time seeing the truth for what it was. I guess that was understandable, but it still frustrated me to no ends. I wanted her to open up to Sam when they finally got together or to anyone else for that matter, but she never did. The moments of peace, acceptance and love between Sam and Sarah were truly breath-taking. Even as much as she pushes him away at times, he still refuses to let her go. He knows it's not what she wants.

Now, I also want to briefly talk about the ending. To say that I was perfectly satisfied with it would be the biggest lie ever. No. I was mad, frustrated, enraged and probably wanted to forget I even read the book. And then I thought about it really hard. I realized how much I actually appreciate the ending. It was realistic and consistent with Sarah's character. That is all I have to say. I'm not going to go further to ruin the reading experience for you, but be prepared to be absolutely angry at the ending.

This one had a plot that was the perfect blend of internal, character focused portions, centered mostly on James and Sarah and more specifically all the realizations Sarah comes to, and external things that trigger quite the series of events. During one half of the book I was a sobbing mess and during the other half I was cringing at the cruelty that was Sarah's life. For a short read, it packed a lot of themes, real-life themes that some of us are most probably afraid to think of ; Incest,domestic violence,rape,teenage sex life,drug abuse. Personally, I thought Kate Avelynn handled them flawlessly (Get it? Muaha!). Her prose was simple, but extremely profound.

[k · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Breathtakingly-Haunting Stars

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

Beautiful. Heart-Shattering. Devastating. Dark. Broken. Gut-Wrenching. Hope. Love. Forbidden. Taboo.

I loved this book so much! I was an emotional wreck after reading it. Don't compare it to Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma, for while the taboo subject is there, it's completely different. This story is not for the faint of heart. This story has a lot of gruesome aspects. This story is a tragedy, not a HEA. Have tissues handy, because I cried for a long time after reading this!

Sarah O'Brien the heroine was so strong! Not in the physical sense, but in the sense that for all the years of abuse she has suffered, she has still remained hopeful. She's living a life that she doesn't deserve, stuck in an impossible situation, and trying to please the two people that she loves most. Her brother James, and the man she's in love with Sam.

Her life is screwed up! Her father is a drunk ex boxer who takes his aggression out on his kids and wife. Her brother, James has always been her protector and savior. They were all the other had to lean on in the darkness. The only problem with that is from that darkness James falls in love with his sister. He becomes obsessed with her. Possessive. He wants her for himself, especially when his best friend Sam starts to show interest in Sarah.

“This is my first real memory of James. In every memory before that, he’s just a flash of color, a warm body with a blurred face, a comforting voice begging me not to die. When he planted himself between our father and me that day, an eight-year-old with small fists clenched at his sides, I think I fell in love with my brother.”

I loved James. I ached for him entirely, he was so broken and I wanted to fix him. He was unstable and unpredictable , but I couldn't help but see the goodness in him. He conflicted me. I hated him, then I loved him, then I hated him again. I loved him because he had good intentions. His whole life was devoted to protecting Sarah, and that love allowed darkness and madness consume him. Tragic.

“No, I love you. You’ve never loved me, even though it’s supposed to be me and you, forever.” He reaches for my waist and buries his sticky face in my stomach. “Why can’t I be enough? I want to be enough so fucking bad.” ~ James

Sam, was amazing! So romantic and loving to Sarah. I felt his love for Sarah, and I fell in love with him. Their love was forever.

“You think I don’t know this went really fast? I didn’t plan for this to happen. Hell, I didn’t even know if you’d let me talk to you, much less be with you. But then you did and we did and…” He stops in the center of the room and stares at me, his shoulders sagging. “I figured out pretty quick that this is a forever thing for me. I think it has been from the very beginning.”

Once again, Flawed is a dark themed book and should not be recommended to the faint hearted.
The writing itself is very raw with powerful emotions, it feels like your being slammed into a bullet train.
It's a thrill of a book, I couldn't put it down. Just be warned..


*****I would recommend this book to others*****

[Victoria Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me tell you something about how I read. Sometimes, I loll through a book, savoring every detail. Other times, I loll...but it's because I'm bored stiff. And on very RARE occasions, I turn into a raging lunatic who's prone to wild outbursts of irritation when anything--and I do mean ANYTHING--takes me away from the story in my hands.

Well, folks, Kate Avelynn's FLAWED had me lashing out like a banshee. Allow me to elaborate:

Husband: "Want something to eat?"

Me: *Snarls* *turns page*

Mother: "Are you driving down for Thanksgiving?"

Me: *snarls* *turns page*

Ghost of Abraham Lincoln: "I need you to perform a grave task. The fate of mankind depends on it."

Me: "Back of, Abe. I'm effing reading."


Ah, FLAWED. I loved the characters. I loved the story. The ending broke me into a billion little pieces.

I no longer feel like a real writer.

Thank you, Kate.

More, please.

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a sucker. Here I am rooting for... the bad guy?
Was James the villain?
Not for me.
James, James ,James, my beautiful boy...
I wish with all my heart that everything could have ended up as a fairy tale.
However, there was no other way. Was there? Such a tormented soul with no help.
I want to shake Sarah so many times to see if I could put some sense into her.
She was doing worse than him leading him on a dead end situation.
She knew he needed help.

[Clarifina ~Books Are My Drugs~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

       

       What can I say really? That Flawed shattered my heart? That I love it despite this fact? What else is new? Okay, so for some of you who don't want to read this book because of the incest factor, please don't be turned off by this. It's not really an incest novel. It's not like Forbidden-although I do think that fans of the novel would enjoy this-because there was no real romance going on between the two of them. I mean, it was kind of like a one-sided thing...

       Anyway, Flawed is about two siblings, Sarah and James O'Brien. They live in a home with their abusive father who was a former boxer and a mother who locks herself up in her room and probably couldn't care less about what happened to her children.

“Two babies in little more than a year and a half. Knockout Jimmy was forced to give up boxing and take a job in the paper mill.
It broke him, and in turn, he broke us all”

       Afraid to tell anyone about what goes on in their "perfect little home", James and Sarah depend only on each other. And so, they made a pact...

“I’m never gonna let anything happen to you, Sarah.”
“I won’t let anything happen to you, too.”
He smiled, all dimples and sparkling blue eyes. “Nah, you’re too little. Just don’t leave me, okay? Not ever. Promise?”
“I promise.”

...a pact which has a much darker meaning...

“And then James closes the last bit of distance between us and kisses me.”

...a pact that Sarah realises too late may be so much harder to keep than she anticipated...

“I feel his intense gaze skimming my face and force myself to look him in the eye. This time, when he leans closer, I know what he wants. He traces my jaw with his fingertips, then moves lower to my chin. My eyelids flutter closed when he tips my face up.” 

...especially when her life-long crush-Sam a.k.a James' best friend-takes an interest in her...

She starts to fall in love with him, trying to find happiness in the darkness called her life...

 

James took countless beatings for her and all he asks in return is her unconditional love....but love is all Sarah has left to give. 

Sometimes you have to let go of the people you love to move on but what if that person is the only reason you keep living for; for going on despite how much it hurts. What then? What do you do when the only reason you have to take in your next breath...is about to leave?

 

...even if it hurts the person you love...

“Save James,” she whispers to me”

So this is where Sarah has to make a choice; keep the only person who was there for her when there was no light in her life or the person who brought the light to her when she was enveloped by the darkness...but the wrong choice could cost her everything...

But when she finally makes a decision...it may just be too late...for both of them...

“Save James, she had said, but I’m too late”

And so when all is said and done, she does the only thing she can do; she moves on...

"There's nowhere to go but forward, I remind myself"

...because time will go on and it may or may not heal all the wounds that the past had brought. But time clears the vision of grief. And she was able to go on no matter how hard it was because she was finally able to see the the past clearly as what it was: the past. Nothing more, nothing less. And all that's left of it are the memories. The painful ones and the happy ones. 


“If I’ve learned anything in the last twelve months, it’s that I’m far stronger than I ever thought possible.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


That's all I can say really. If I say more I think I'm going to give away what happens-if I haven't done that already. This book is probably not for everyone, I won't lie about that so um, just be prepared. Cheers!

[Laura Kaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this book an hour ago (after reading it every spare moment I could over the past 24 hours), and I'm not sure I've fully processed my reaction, but I still feel like I need to release some of what Flawed has made me feel. So here we go...

One thing is for sure: you cannot read Flawed and not have a strong emotional reaction. For me, reading this book kept my stomach tangled in knots. From the first chapter, you know things cannot possibly end well, but exactly what that ending will be you don't know until you're tied absolutely inside out in anxiety for all of them to find a way through the incredible darkness of James and Sarah's lives. By the midpoint of the story, I had a pretty good idea (perhaps fear?) of what the ending would be, but it was no less powerful or painful for that anticipation. There are moments of light in this book (Oh, Sam, I will always love you), but they actually make the dark moments more painful because you fear the characters will never be able to hold onto them. The author is masterful at evoking emotion.

The characters themselves are vividly portrayed. That doesn't mean you'll always like them, or agree with them, or not want to scream at them, but you will acutely understand the feelings and loyalties and rationales that motivate them. The impossible choices. The twisted loyalties and identities abuse creates. The many shades of love. I cared about Sarah, James, and Sam. Right now, I'm hurting for them.

I thought the author's voice possessed a real sense of truth. And the writing style has the most amazing...I don't know...starkness to it that somehow also created depth in the smallest collections of words. I was truly hooked.

Note: This is contemporary young adult fiction. Notice I didn't say romance. Romance guarantees certain things in a story. Contemporary fiction does not. Just know that going in.

I found flawed compelling and heartbreaking, and I highly recommend it.

[Jasprit · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

After finishing Flawed I felt like an empty shell, numb and raw. Sometimes I enjoy books which leave you feeling crushed, like your heart has been taken and thoroughly stomped on. It takes a lot for me to be left so affected by a book and only a few this year have been able to leave me feeling so overwrought with emotions.

I’d heard endless things about Flawed before picking it up, yes I was worried about its taboo subject, and it’s dark and gritty vibe. I even had Kate stop by on the blog and share a playlist for the book, but there was this incredible invisible string tugging me towards it. Despite everything I’d heard and knowing this book would be going down a dark path I knew I had to read this book.

James and Sarah have a really close relationship; they’ve been through so much crap through their life, so each is like a constant pillar of support for the other. They both know without one another they never would have made it this far. But their close sibling bond is often mistaken for something else. James does go overboard a bit sometimes in Sarah’s eye’s playing the over protective brother role a bit too much, he doesn’t really want anyone to get to know her, he tends to escort her really everywhere. It’s no wonder Sarah’s fully dependent on James, he’s her only real friend. Plus he knows about everything she’s been through so she doesn’t feel the need to hide away from him. But Sarah’s always secretly liked James best friend Sam, not that he’s ever paid her any attention, she can’t even get two minutes to talk with the guy with James around. But James reluctantly agrees to take Sarah to a party one night, and just her luck Sam’s there too. Before you know it Sarah’s realised her interpretation of Sam’s feelings were all wrong, that maybe there is a chance of her finally being with someone that loves her other than her brother. But she knows James isn’t going to be too happy about it, her only chance is to sneak around behind James back, she doesn’t like lying to James but she really has no other choice. It’s the only way she can keep the two men she loves most in the world close to her.

If by reading the blurb to Flawed, you’re thinking of not picking it up because of its taboo sounding subject, please don’t do this. Because Flawed seriously provided so much more. It was a masterfully woven story combining several gritty aspects and producing a powerful heart wrenching read.

The Bittersweet relationship between Sam and Sarah left me with a gaping hole in my heart, they were so perfect for each other without realising it, with everything Sarah had been through and with an overbearing brother who escorted her everywhere Sam was so sweet. Which guy decides to put his neck constantly on the line knowing his girlfriend’s brother would go ballistic if he saw them together? Which guy would sneak around at all hours just to spend even just a few minutes with his girlfriend? Act indifferent when James was around, and always want the best for Sarah? Sam seriously turned me into a pile of mush with his sweetness, his and Sarah’s scenes were chillingly beautiful. I was constantly at the edge of my seat, biting my nails down to the core, worried they would get caught by James.

The day and a half I read this in I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t want to work, I didn’t want to eat or sleep, I just wanted to lock myself away with this beautiful bittersweet book. Despite me having early inklings about which way this book could go, Avelynn managed to grab my heart and smash it some more, never in my life have I wanted a book to end a certain way than I wanted it with Flawed.

There have been some incredible debut authors this year, but everyone Avelynn is definitely one to watch. She shook me to the core with this book and a week after finishing it I’m still a trembling mess. Flawed in my mind is an unputdownable brilliant read, one that I will never forget.

I hugely recommend checking out this playlist for Flawed made by Kate Avelynn, whilst reading this book; honestly the songs resonated with me.

Thank you Entangled for this review copy.

[Literatures Movies · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm sorry, but my mind is currently so boggled right now that I cannot help but laugh.

Honestly, half of the time I'm not quite sure what this book is trying to be. Was it incest? Was it love triangle? Was it tragedy? Was it abuse?

I have no idea.

Even after finishing the book – I finished it and not DNF, it's a miracle ladies and gents – I still cannot understand what in the everloving fuck this book tried to convey. Because after I finished it, I feel kinda...nothing.

That's the thing. I don't feel immersed into the story. I kept reading for the hopes that something develop between James and Sarah (the brother and sister) because I was told going in there was going to be incest involved. But after I read it, I was like :



Incest, where?

Literally, all that happened in this book was James being gaga over Sarah, wanting to fuck her and shit. And Sarah being gaga over James's bestie Sam, which cause them to constantly have to sneak around James cause... duh? Overprotective brother.

So they do that. Sarah and Sam have sex because Sam makes her feel oh so happy. and she feels oh so empty without him because her life is a useless void without Sam. But at the same time, James will be dropping off them hints every once in a blue moon. Cause I mean, what else can a brother do right? He will suddenly kiss her, but say nothing, hoping her to catch the signs of his feelings for her.

And our main protagonist being a privileged bitch that she is, can only do one thing. What is that, you ask?

C O M P L A I N

She literally be bitching about everything. How James doesn't make enough money, how James is always so overprotective, how done – let me repeat, done – she is about James controlling every single aspect of her life when this lil shit does nothing to contribute other than look cute and weak and have a pair of tits and a vagina.

I mean girl, you have a brain, use that shit. Honestly, this bitch ain't worth all the trouble for having these two guys fight till death for her. Now that I am thinking back, most of the things that goes on in this book circles around sex. Like. What. You tryna be another 50 shades of grey fucked up teenager version or what?



Whatever.

And the ending though. That shit is one of the most rushed and shitty ending I have read in a very very long time. I think that should say something.



Blog : Yes, I have a blog
Youtube : Yooouuuttubeeee

[Di Covey/TwistedBookReviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Devoted Stars!!!

I feel like I was punched in the stomach. Then put in a choke hold. And I loved every moment.

I might come back with 5 Stars. I need to think. I need to become one with my feelings. I need to go to church, pray for my sinful thoughts.

Well, I'm still not sure how I feel, it's been hours. I will say, this story shocked the ever-loving shit out of me. If you are looking for a "real" taboo story then this one is it. Right out of a twisted lifetime movie. I don't even want to tell my thoughts because I feel like you need to experience this one on your own. Ok, how do I explain this without giving spoilers, and making you think I've fell off my rocker?

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away. James, the savior. That’s the image of my brother I clung to. Still cling to.

Sarah and James grew up in the house of horrors, abuse being the only stability in their life. They only have one another to lean on, to love. They make a pact to stay together forever. Sarah begins to wonder how much is too much when it comes to brotherly love.

This book is definitely gonna grab you by the balls, and most likely you won't escape unscathed. I had these conflicting emotions through the entire book. Like, why would I think this is ok? This kind of love is not okay. But the author gives you this bond that's almost impossible to penetrate, and I really didn't want to. In which disturbed me to no end. The connection was beautiful in a disturbing, loving, I don't know how I feel way.

Here's the deal. This book is for the risk takers, the people that don't mind if the characters don't get their white picket fence, for the readers of disturbing, for the ones that like jalapenos on their nachos. This story isn't black & white, it's far from conventional, and it's not cupcakes and roses. So, with all that being said. I recommend to my sisters that love taboo and read the same books as I.

"I’ll always love you and make you happy, If you will only say the same. But if you leave me to love another, You’ll regret it all someday."

That was my warning. Now go read it!!!

[Jessirae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and devastating all wrapped in one heart shattering, soul moving book. Flawed broke me, crushed me whole and devoured my every being. Kate Avelynn created a book so powerful, so gut wrenching.. nothing will ever be the same.

Sarah O’Brien was the strongest protagonist I have ever encountered in all my time of reading. She wasn’t strong physically, but with years of abuse she had to go through, Sarah endured. She was living a life she didn’t deserve at all, stuck in an impossible situation with difficult choices to make between the two people that she loved the most. It was all so hard on Sarah and I really felt that pain, the indecision and the stress she was holding on her shoulders. The juggling of protecting herself, her brother, and Sam just took a toll on Sarah and my heart damn near crumbled for her. In the toughest of times, Sarah held out and I truly looked up to the way she loved and cared for James and Sam. I loved Sarah for all that she was and all that she wasn’t and I especially loved her for the choices she made and the fact that she continued to dream, hope and live. 


In so little words, I loved James. I ached for him entirely; that broken boy I wanted to fix from the inside out. As unstable and unpredictable as he was, I could not help but only see the goodness of his intentions and of his heart. He conflicted me, he shook me and made me love and hate him simultaneously. All his life has been devoted to protect and care for Sarah. Everything he had ever done was for Sarah and his unwavering love for her allowed darkness and madness to consume him. James only knew what he had to do to protect Sarah and all he wanted in return was love; love she could not give. And that possessive, all consuming love he had for her was what blew out the last of the bright flame my lovely golden boy had. How do you fix something so broken, so tainted by abuse, alcohol, drugs and fear that only darkness remained? There really is only one answer.. you can’t.

The romance of this book rooted and attached itself to me. I have never felt so intensely for the love that bloomed between Sarah and Sam. It was electric and it was paradise and it was dangerous in so many aspects. For me, the risk was worth it all. Sam opened Sarah’s eyes. His smart, independent, caring, and protective personality awakened Sarah and taught her the true meaning of unconditional love. He gave her happiness and what little freedom she could take. Sarah was his everything, his forever and I truly believed that from the bottom of my heart. This boy.. this great, spectacular, unlike-no-one-in-this-world kind of boy was the sweetest, brightest and selfless being I have ever had the privilege to fall in love with. If there is one true hero in this book, it was Sam Donavan. No questions asked.

I was unprepared for the amount of pain and hurt this book made me feel. I was unprepared for the amount and depth of love I had for every single letter, word, sentence, paragraph, page and chapter. I have never felt so much fear, hot and cold in my heart. I didn’t think I could have ever foreseen it coming at all. This book opened my eyes to the meaning of sacrifices, of choices, and complete devotion.


Flawed has easily worked its way to being one of the best books I have ever read. The wait was more than worth it and if I had to wait a million years for this book, I would happily do so. Kate Avelynn completely moved me to sobbing tears with her clean, exquisite, and top notch writing. What she created in Flawed was pure emotion, passion and dark tragedy that shattered my heart to tiny painful pieces. It’s the type of book that is too beautiful for words and one that will haunt your very core to oblivion.



Overall, Flawed was just perfect, flawless and incomparable.

More Reviews on my blog: Words, Pages, and Books

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up Flawed because I'd never heard it brought up without Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma being brought up after. Forbidden is one of my all time favorite books, so I knew I had to pick it up. I get why they are being constantly compared, but truth be told they have very little in common. If I would have read Flawed first I would have liked it more. That being said, I still really enjoyed it.

The backstory between Sarah and James is dark and Kate leaves no detail unsaid. I loved how dark it got.

Her mom is practically comatose, and her father is an former boxer
turned into an abusive alcoholic. The only person she can count on is James.The relationship between them starts off so sweet. A bond that many would love to have with a sibling. But then their relationship turns into something wrong and sour. Sarah's character is weak and throughout the story is trying to find legs to stand one. She's trying to figure out who she is. James' character goes from a strong leading male to a weak breaking human. Seeing the two switch places made for an interesting read. Then there's Sam. WHOOSH swoon worthy Sam. The moment he was introduced was the moment I fell for him. Each character too had so many things to like about them and things about them I disliked. But all were so well written. Sam was without a doubt my favorite thing about this book. I couldn't get enough of him.

"I have no idea what he sees in me. Strength, he says. Beauty. A big
heart. I see none of these things. I see fear, flaws and a heart so full
of blackness I can't give up on my own selfish wants to set him or my
brother free."

The pace of this book is steady throughout the whole book, and doesn't pick up much speed until the last handful of chapters. The ending more than made up for anything the plot lacked throughout. It was the main reason I loved this book so much. Everything went down in the most perfectly heart pounding and heart punching ending ever. If this story's first half would have been as strong as the last half I would have given this book a higher rating. I even feel having it in dual POVs might have given it a little more edge. Either way it will be a book I recommend to many in the future. If you're looking for something a little on the darker emotional side Flawed is a good fit.

Flawed is heavily weighted on one thing and one thing only... When stuck between a rock and a hard place, what choice would you make?

[Katee Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I don't even know where to start.

This book DESTROYED me. Like I'm sitting here, crying in a seriously borderline hysterical manner and I can't seem to stop. That said, just WOW. I was right there with Sarah the entire time. There was no distancing myself from the events of the book, no sitting back and wondering what *I* would have done. I couldn't escape this story if I'd tried.

Read this book. It will devastate you, bring you up, down, and sideways, and at the end you'll walk away knowing you've just read what is, hands down, one of the best books of 2012.

[Jena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hurts my heart. It hurts my soul. Shattered me into a million pieces. These words... Like razor blades across my skin. It's beautiful and intense and earth shattering. Flawed takes love and twists it into something deadly.

When you're put in an impossible choice, is there really a right answer? I have been there. Stuck between two heartbreaking decisions except there was no right choice. They are both right and they are both wrong... it always comes down to hurting yourself or the other person. But with impossible choices, unfortunately I think you always lose regardless. You always hurt something with in yourself. Sarah sits in that spot. Shes so conflicted through out the whole book... family over love, love over family... love love love. She's been over protected her entire life, scarred, hurt, yet she still has love in her heart. I felt so deeply for her. And, I don't envy her.

Then there is James. James is one of those characters that you either see the dark side or you see deeper inside and see that within that darkness is a boy who has been broken. Who's been strengthened to be overprotective. Who's had to turn himself into this twisted soul because he thought he was doing what he had to do for Sarah. James is the bad guy in this story, yet I somehow don't see him that way. He's good-looking, hard working, and protects the hell out of his sister. Some where along the line he just took it too far... too far to rein all that darkness back in. I still loved him and my heart still broke for him every time he shed a tear. Every time he was afraid to lose something too important to him. I mean, how do you just suddenly stop protecting the thing that means the most to you in the world? I know there is good in James. Unfortunately, he was just too far gone and I would have done anything to save him. He's that type of boy.

Sam. He tore my world apart. Sam is Sarah's hero. I could never get enough of Sam. When Sam was filling the pages, my mind was completely attached. He's sweet. He's a family guy. He's smart. He's sexy as hell. He's protective. He's artistic. He's beautiful... inside and out. He has the type of love that could wrap you up in warmth from the inside out. He would do anything for Sarah... he does do anything for Sarah. "When are you going to get that you are everything?" (Pg 302). Sam was everything to me as the reader. I loved him so much, and his love completely captured my heart and then drug me down into that black hole of hurt with the bittersweet ending. "I figured out pretty quickly that this is a forever thing for me." (Pg 302)

I could talk about this book forever. It will never leave me. I don't want it to. I want to look at that gorgeously haunting cover and know the story that lies within that broken weed.

I devoured Flawed. I couldn't help it. I ate it's three hundred and some pages like it was fifty. It pulled me in piece by piece until it had all of me and then it blew me wide open shattering every piece of my carefully held in emotion. Yes, I cried. I held everything in. Each tension, each betrayal, each lie, each abuse, each torture, each kiss... Slowly building inside of me until that last chapter. When I found out that there was no going back, I couldn't hold it back anymore.

Kate outdid herself with this story. It's heart-achingly beautiful and abusive. I fell in love with it and then it broke my heart. I've waited for this book for so long, it was my most anticipated book of this year and I can happily (with a broken heart) say that it did not disappoint me at all. It held up to every standard I put it to. It hit every bar I raised it to. I wanted some sick, twisted, intense book... and I got just that. I wanted to love a book that fit into that dark place in my soul... Flawed is that book.

[Antonella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw,messed up, real....from the beginning of the book you now that is going to be difficult..but I liked it....

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Flawed has to be one of the best books I've read this year!! It was emotional, dark, intense book and full of love that it was overwhelming. From the very beginning I was hooked and that first page then went to 80 pages... it was addictive. Flawed was one of the best debuts I've read, and everyone who reads this book will fall in love with the chemistry between the characters and the intense plot. Kate Avelynn is officially one of my favorite authors because now this book will be stuck in my mind! I still havent started another book!

When it begins we meet Sarah who is definitely a well put together characters, and is ready to move on from her broken family. She goes through this journey and self-discovery that it will blow you away. The close relationship with her brother is definitely uncomfortable at first because of their pact and the agreement that they would never leave each other. Avelynn did an amazing job of describing the relationship between Sarah and James because its an interesting relationship which is also sometimes hard to read without being emotional. Sarah faces a lot of hardships in the novel between her family and also the situations she is faced against. She was a great character and also relatable.

James has to be one of the most complex characters when I was reading because he has a way of grabbing your attention but at the same time, was making certain scenes uncomfortable. He was Very protective of Sarah which was a love and hate relationship. He was to me a broken character with a lot of flaws but at times I just wanted to fix his problems. James is also a victim during the story which is another reason why the reader will feel his pain as well as Sarah's incredible story.

Now to the amazing Sam Donovan *swoon* I think I fell in love with him the first time I read about him. Sam is definitely one man who will make you blush and fall in love because when Sam finally makes a move on Sarah (who has wanted his attention for years) the chemistry between these two makes me want to fall in love. He is another main character that plays a major role in Sarah's life and he was adorble, sweetm and his determination was dearing and made my heart race at times. Same is one of the sweetest boys you will read about, and watching his relationship develop was one of the best parts of reading the book because you see them starting to grow up together. His attention to Sarah makes the reader root for this couple to succeed. There were times that were emotional as well as bringing some tears to my eyes near the ending. But this beautiful book will make an impact on you.

I was in tears involved but when I cry it means I loved the book, and see how connected I was to the characters and seeing the emotions that Sarah was going through. Flawed is definitely flawed but in a good amazing way because I can now say I am addicted to Avelynn writing now! From happiness, laughs and tears to OMG what happened, I did want more. With a great mix of sexiness and the raw emotions that will trigger many events in the book. This book is a MUST read because it is the total package and Flawed is a brillant read that is unputdownable!!

[Sanny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't rate this right now as my emotions are all over the place.

You told me once, dear, you really loved me

And no one else could come between.

But now you’ve left me and love another;

You have shattered all my dreams."

...neither am I sure where to start on my review, so first things first: this isn't a book I'd recommend - not because it was bad but because it talks about topics that not everyone can deal with.

The first sentence will hook you immediately. After reading that first sentence my mind immediately started working out several ways for this story to play out. I was very tense throughout the whole book, waiting for the worst of the worst to happen - At this point I won't tell you if the worst of the worst happened, you'll have to find out yourself (or read another review :P).

I always question myself why I read this kind of books and then this happens:

some chapters had me literally holding my breath as my eyes flew over the pages to read faster,

some chapters put me into a murderous rage,

some chapters put a small smile on my face,

some chapters made me cry,

some chapters filled me with such a sense of dread that I haven't experienced in a book very often,

some chapters overwhelmed me with compassion and pity,

some chapters and the opening quote of this review broke me,

but then there's the last chapter and sadness mixed with melanchony, as well as a strange sort of pride and hope.

And then I know again why I read this, because the emotions are so close to the surface and always on the brink of overflowing, you have no other choice but to feel, no matter what it is that you feel.

I was so mad for their lullaby that dragged throughout the whole book, but in the end I can't be mad because it prepared me for what was to happen even if I didn't want to acknowledge it (That probably sounds cryptic to you now, but I promise you'll understand in the second last chapter at latest). Just thinking about it brings another round of tears.

On one hand, I wish that I could've read some chapters in James's POV but on the other hand, I think that reading in his POV would've utterly destroyed me, so I can't really decide if it's a small blessing or not that I didn't get to see the story through his eyes.

Finishing my review, I've come to the conclusion that this book deserves 5 stars alone for evoking all of the emotions listed above. People will hate this book, people will love it, people will be disgusted but they WILL feel and that always deserves a full star review in my eyes.

P.S.: I won't elaborate on all the things morally wrong with some characters in this book but I will say that no child should ever have think some of the thoughts mentioned in this book and my heart broke into pieces, knowing that some children think these thoughts.

[Greta · Rating 3 out of 5]

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
but when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
so I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray
you'll never know dear, how much I love you
please don't take my sunshine away.

Forse non sono in grado di fare una recensione. Ci sono rimasta troppo male e non mi sento pronta, ma vorrei almeno provare a farvi capire che sarete sadici se deciderete di leggere questo libro.

Sarah e James sono fratelli, cresciuti da un padre alcolizzato e violento e da una madre in stato comatoso. Hanno solo sè stessi, insieme possono farcela. Così fanno un patto, quando sono ancora due bambini. Sarah rimarrà sempre con James, non lo lascerà mai - e lui la proteggerà sempre dal padre.
I giorni passano, i ragazzi crescono, il loro padre è sempre più violento e questa situazione fa scattare un comportamento sempre più strano in James. Sarah si rende conto che non si comporta come farebbe un fratello, ma come un fidanzato. Sarah sa che è sbagliato.
Sa anche che è sbagliato innamorarsi di Sam, il migliore amico di James. Sa che è sbagliato vederlo di nascosto, sa che è tutto sbagliato, perchè James se dovesse scoprirlo, potrebbe ucciderlo.

Ho pianto come una fontana a fine libro, perchè non ho trovato la fine propriamente giusta pur trovandola giusta allo stesso tempo.

Sarah è la classica ragazzina spaventata. Ha solo il fratello da quando sono nati e non immagina neanche il sentimento che sboccerà per Sam, verso il quale ha una cotta da sempre, ma sopratutto non immagina che questo la ricambi. Non è abituata ad essere amata da qualcuno che non è suo fratello. Sarah sa però che ha promesso di non abbandonare mai James, anche se diventa sempre più violento e sempre più simile al padre.

James, ti ho amato dalla prima pagina. Non ho guardato l'incesto di per sè come una cosa sbagliata, perchè qui obiettivamente non succede nulla. Si intuisce che James prova molto di più di un semplice rapporto fratello e sorella, ma l'autrice è stata molto delicata, non ha descritto scene di sesso tra parenti. Sarah era quella che ragionava dei due, non avrebbe mai fatto niente con suo fratello. Mi è piaciuto comunque tanto James. Nella sua ossessione verso Sarah, la paura di perderla perchè non ha mai avuto una famiglia vera. Se anche Sarah se ne va, lui rimarrà da solo. E così impazzisce.

Sam è stato molto dolce e molto vicino a Sarah per sostenerla ed aiutarla come più gli era possibile. Mi è piaciuto, ma non quanto James. Lui è uno dei motivi per il quale quel finale maledetto non mi è piaciuto.

Lacrime a parte, questa è una storia che lascia il segno, che fa stare male. Leggete a vostro rischio e pericolo.

[Anatea Oroz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review is also posted on my blog, Anatea's Bookshelf.

Amazing, Beautiful, Hart wrenching, Dark, Emotional, Powerful, Intense, Shattering, Overwhelming.
These are just some of the emotions I experienced while reading this book. But they don't give the book justice, because what I felt while reading this book can not be expressed in words.

From the very beginning, I was sucked into the story and couldn't put the book down. When I finished it, I lay in my bed, unable to sleep and just thinking about the book.

Sarah O'Brien was an amazingly strong protagonist. I felt so deep for her. For as long as she could remember she was abused by her father. Her mother was a drug addict and never there for her. The only person in her life who always looked out for her was her brother James. He promised her that he'll always be there for her and protect her, and in return, she promised to never leave him. She was living a life she didn't deserve. She was torn between leaving her brother and the guy she loved. There were so many things on her shoulders, so many decisions, hiding, lying and protecting herself, but still, she was strong and accepted everything as it was.

James, Sarah's brother, also had it hard. Abused by his father, taking care of Sarah, it all lead to his instability. He loved Sarah, that much everyone could tell, but with time, his feelings for Sarah became something that was not normal, and that ruined their relationship. If it wasn't for James' protectivity and his wrong feelings, I think he could have been the best brother ever. I felt so sorry for James, he was a good person but some things from his past ruined his future.

Sam was like an angel to all of them. He was a good friend to James, but the most important thing is that he was there for Sarah when life was the hardest for her. He cared, he looked out for her even tough he didn't have to. He was dragged into the mess just because he cared and because he was a good boyfriend.

The ending was really hard for me. I don't think it is possible not to shed a tear at the ending. This is probably one of the best books I have ever read and I will remember it for quite some time. While this is not a book you can read whenever you want, you have to be emotionally prepared for what is coming, but it sure is a book you don't want to miss.

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[Nessa Richardson · Rating 2 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️

Not for me. Well written, but the ending just ruined it. I didn’t particularly cheer for neither Sam nor James, but you could say that I was leaning more into James. I know, I know, he’s her brother, but James’ character had so much depth more than Sam. Sam was just like a sideline character for me. He didn’t mean much at all.

Sarah and James, though, were from the same background to the T. They had the same pain and I think it resonated on how they would be in love with each other. Funny that she kept saying that she loved Sam and was disgusted about how obsessed James was about her, but I think she didn’t even realize herself that she WAS in love with James. She was more open to admit that she was in love with Sam because it wouldn’t be as wrong as admitting she was in love with James.

But, still, siblings being in love because of their abusive upbringing is tragic. I genuinely think if Sarah were to give James a chance, he wouldn’t be so crazy. He just wanted to be enough for her.

Anyway, because of the ending, man, it’s gotta be 3/10 worth the read. Felt like I was wasting my time reading this because of it. But, then again, I would be saying the same thing if she were to end up with Sam because he is SO boring. Whatever.