‘What are the marks of a supernaturally changed heart?’
This is one of the questions the Apostle Paul addresses as he writes to the church in Corinth. He’s not after some superficial outward tinkering, but instead a deep–rooted, life–altering change that takes place on the inside. In an age where pleasing people, puffing up your ego and building your résumé are seen as the methods to ‘make it’, the Apostle Paul calls us to find true rest in blessed self–forgetfulness.
In this short and punchy book, best–selling author Timothy Keller, shows that gospel–humility means we can stop connecting every experience, every conversation with ourselves and can thus be free from self–condemnation. A truly gospel–humble person is not a self–hating person or a self–loving person, but a self–forgetful person.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Timothy Keller was the founding pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, which he started in 1989 with his wife, Kathy, and three young sons. For over twenty years he has led a diverse congregation of young professionals that has grown to a weekly attendance of over 5,000.
He was also Chairman of Redeemer City to City, which starts new churches in New York and other global cities, and publishes books and resources for faith in an urban culture. In over ten years they have helped to launch over 250 churches in 48 cities. More recently, Dr. Keller’s books, including the New York Times bestselling The Reason for God and The Prodigal God, have sold over 1 million copies and been translated into 15 languages.
Christianity Today has said, “Fifty years from now, if evangelical Christians are widely known for their love of cities, their commitment to mercy and justice, and their love of their neighbors, Tim Keller will be remembered as a pioneer of the new urban Christians.”
Dr. Keller was born and raised in Pennsylvania, and educated at Bucknell University, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and Westminster Theological Seminary. He previously served as the pastor of West Hopewell Presbyterian Church in Hopewell, Virginia, Associate Professor of Practical Theology at Westminster Theological Seminary, and Director of Mercy Ministries for the Presbyterian Church in America.
The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness can be summed up in one sentence, "I don't care what you think, and I don't care what I think." Keller expounds on the premise that his sins and his identity are not connected. His accomplishments and his identity are not connected. We need to stop judging ourselves, that is already done for us. We still sin, but we are loved. "My conscience is clear," he says, "but that does not make me innocent."
Keller uses a quote from Madonna to better be able to relate his idea.
Madonna says, "My drive in life comes from a fear of being mediocre. I push past one spell of it and discover myself as a special human being but then I feel I am still mediocre and uninteresting unless I do something else. Because even though I have become somebody, I still have to prove that I am somebody. My struggle has never ended and I guess it never will."
Keller says Madonna's plight is a common one. It's because we get our self-worth from our ego which is insatiable. We need to stop focusing on us, good or bad, and focus on others. He talks about C.S. Lewis's view of humbleness from his book Mere Christianity. (One of my favorites, by the way.) Lewis says if we met a truly humble person we'd never come away from them thinking they were humble. They would not be telling us they were a nobody because someone who does that is really self-obsessed. The thing we would remember from meeting a truly humble person is: "...how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less."
I really like this idea. This little book takes you on a a trip through your conscienceness and self-worth, making you examine how and how often you view yourself. How often do you put yourself in judgment? How often do you compare yourself to others? I know I do it constantly. I mean, what is my accomplishment of reading so many books if everyone has read the same amount? But I also realized I do some of this "unthinking of self". Every time I meet someone new (which being an extrovert, I love), I know, if you can get someone talking, most people really like to talk about themselves. You just have to find the right avenue. And the more I know about someone, the more I see them on the inside, what makes them shine, the more I can love them.
I'm a Christian, so my God calls me to love people like this. But I don't think this concept has to be viewed from a Christian standpoint. Wouldn't the world be a little better if everyone tried to love a little more? Yes, it sounds cheesy, but when I start to censor myself because I think it's too much rainbows and flowers, I think to myself, dammit, we need more rainbows and flowers. And even if people don't admit it, they like it too, and they'd jump in with love if it came to that. Think of 911. Or more recently, the Boston bombings. Think of all the people that ran to and not away from the blast right after it happened. Perhaps I'm an optimist but I believe there's some part of all of us that wants to be that person. The one that runs toward the blast instead of away from it. The one who goes into the crumbling building to rescue someone they don't know because it's been hit by a plane. The one who stands in front of a gun pointed at a child in a school shooting.
I think Keller has a good point here and it can be applied anywhere with anyone. It's a relatively small book, only about fifty pages long. That's probably my biggest beef with it. I would have liked to see more. Maybe some more references to real life experiences and examples. I think a lot of areas of the book could have been expanded on. Overall, I really enjoyed it. I think it teaches a good lesson, and those that focus on themselves less and others more are generally happier people.
In a booklet barely 40 pages long, Keller explains 1 Corinthians 3:21-4:7 and tackles pride, ego, despair, self-esteem and the condemnation of others and ourselves.
The more I read Keller the more I see a standard format that I like: not A, and not B, but C. Where the world falls into one ditch or the other, he shows the Way.
Here, the two ditches are low self-esteem and high self-esteem. Traditional cultures have dealt with guilt and explained sin by pointing to pride. We think too highly of ourselves and so misbehave. Modern culture deals with guilt and explains sin by pointing to low self-esteem: we think too lowly of ourselves and so misbehave!
Keller says, looking to 1 Corinthians 3-4, neither is right. Not even our own clear conscience justifies us. Instead of looking to ourselves for a guilty or innocent verdict, we look to Jesus Christ who has already brought us a verdict of innocent.
So we are free to forget ourselves. This is the great insight of this booklet. We are free from judging ourselves all the time. Our ego is busy, always comparing us to someone else and concluding that we fall short or that we are better. This falls into the ditch either way. Instead we should look to Christ's performance for our judgment and work for him.
Super short book. Some would say Keller was mailing it in. I thought it was great. And I think it might be the gospel message this generation needs, based on I Cor 4:4: "My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me."
"[Paul] does not look to them for the verdict nor, does he look to himself for the verdict. What Paul is looking for…what we are all looking for, is an ultimate verdict that we are important and valuable."
Modern people think "my conscience is clear". There is no guilt. So when we present a guiltiness before God, it falls on deaf ears: "I am true to myself."
Keller does a good job of showing how self-acceptance is not the answer. We need a verdict from outside of ourselves and our culture.
I think there is a concrete correlation between low intelligence and the tendency to self-delusion, self-lying. I mean, the lower the IQ, the longer one can believe in a fiction/ appearance that he experiences as real. This is where the drama of the intelligent one who looks at the happiness of the least intelligent is really formed, because the latter can tell himself his own stories, for to stay asleep, while the former is doomed to eternal awakening by the sense of reality. Finally, I see freedom of self-forgetfulness as an independence of illusion. I mean - to be free, means first of all to be able to lead a life in which you accept things as they are, without having to deny them, or to decorate them, in order to face existence, to do what you like every day - without having a specific purpose in it - not having to lie yourself about anything - that's one of the few things I haven't changed my mind about, lately. This is freedom.
The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness is a once-a-year read for me, and I know I need its reminders when I start caring (a lot) about people's opinions of me. It can be read in 1-2 sittings, and I glean something new every time.
Favorite quotes:
“The self-forgetful person would never be hurt particularly badly by criticism. It would not devastate them, it would not keep them up late, it would not bother them. Why? Because a person who is devastated by criticism is putting too much value on what other people think, on other people’s opinions.”
"The thing we would remember from meeting a truly gospel-humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less."
In this teeny weeny book, Keller shows us Pauls self forgetfulness and whats more is he shows it to be a verymuch attractive and relieving lifestyle, something to aim for to be sure.
Second read edit:
I've read this book multiple times now and I think it hits home more every time. Maybe it's that I've lived a little more life than last I read it. Kellers talk seems so very relevant and so simple. I wish I would remember every word in this book and put it to use daily. Great stuff.
I know I’m not supposed to care what others think of me but the idea that I shouldn’t even put my value in what me thinks of me was liberating. Many times I do put myself in a daily courtroom of determining my worth and to recognize that is indeed freeing. When we are already viewed as infinitely valuable in Christ, proving yourself constantly becomes a lot less necessary.
The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness fits into that category of books where it's so small but so incredibly rich and insightful that it needs to be read twice a year (at least!) Keller's querying of the human heart, centring around it's ego and subsequent prideful state at times, had me reflecting on my own sense of pride and a lot of questions came up which will no doubt shape a lot of my thoughts and actions henceforth.
Esse livreto me surpreendeu, apesar de ter tido excelentes referências confesso que quando o peguei em mãos fiquei meio desconfiado. Mas esse é um daqueles livretos impactantes e que quando você termina a leitura fica com aquela sensação de que "já acabou? Poderia ter mais". Keller trata de um assunto realmente relevante e que pode mudar nossa maneira de enxergar a maneira de viver o cristianismo. Não se assustem pelo tamanho pois o conteúdo é gigante. Recomendo a leitura.
Excellent short book by Keller on how the gospel shapes our view of ourselves. ‘Gospel centred humility is not thinking more or less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less’
نحن عادة لا نسمع أن��ساً واثقين بأنفسهم جداً ويقولون انهم اسوأ الجميع ونحن لسنا معتادين سماع شخص صادق يعترف بجميع مفاسده الاخلاقيه رغم منزلته الرفيعة وثقته الشديدة بنفسه
ان التواضع وفق مفهوم الكتاب المقدس يعني عدم حاجتي الي التفكير في نفسي وعدم حاجتي الي ربط الامور بشخصيتي بل هو التوقف عن التفكير بالمنطق التالي : مادمت موجوداً مع هؤلاء الاشخاص في هذه الغرفة هل هذا يجعلني اظهر بمظهر الشخص المهم ؟ وهل انا راغب في وجودي هنا ؟ فالتواضع بمفهوم الكتاب المقدس يعني ان اتوقف عن ربط كل عمل او حديث بنفسي كما يعني ايضاً ان اتوقف عن التفكير في نفسي انها حرية نسيان الذات
الحقيقة انه كلما زاد فهمنا لكلمة الله زادت رغبتنا في التغيير ألا ترغب في ان تكون شخصاً لا ينتظر الاكرام من الناس ولا يخشاه ؟ كذلك ألا ترغب ان تكون شخصاً لا يتوق الي سماع عبارات المدح والثناء من الآخرين ولكنه في الوقت نفسه لا يخشي سماعها ؟
ففي وسعنا ان نستمتع بالاشياء التي لا نقوم بها نحن او التي لا تخصنا فما اقوم به هو ليس لتمجيد ذاتي فالحقيقة هي اني استطيع ان استمتع بالامور كما هي
فلأن الله يحبني ويقبلني ، انا لست مضطراً الي القيام بأي عمل لبناء سيرتي الذاتية وانا لست مضطراً الي القيام بأي شئ كي اظهر بمظهر حسن بل يمكنني القيام بالامور لمجرد التمتع بالقيام بها ويمكنني ان اساعد الناس لمجرد تقديم يد العون اليهم لا لكي اعزز مشاعري تجاه نفسي ولا لكي املأ الفراغ الذي اشعر به في اعماقي
Sometimes the most powerful books are the shortest ones. I could re-read this one every week and still find conviction and encouragement. May we all learn to live to think not less of ourselves, but think of ourselves less.
Read in 2012. Read again with RTIM interns in 2023.
I don't need to be a prisoner to what others think, or even what I think of myself. I am free to serve God and others based on the confidence that he has accepted me in Christ.
"The thing we would remember from meeting a truly gospel-humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less" (p. 32).
“I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t even care what I think about me. All I care is what the Lord thinks about me. And he says ‘there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus’ and, ‘this is My beloved child, with whom I am well pleased.’”
“Do you realize that it is only in the gospel of Jesus Christ that you get the verdict before the performance? The atheist might say that they get their self-image from being a good person. They are a good person and they hope that eventually they will get a verdict that confirms that they are a good person. Performance leads to the verdict. For the Buddhist too, performance leads to the verdict. If you are a Muslim, performance leads to the verdict. All this means that every day, you are in the courtroom, every day you are on trial. That is the problem. But Paul is saying that in Christianity, the verdict leads to performance. It is not the performance that leads to the verdict.”
I read this 44 page booklet in less than an hour. And I enjoyed it in an impersonal sort of way on Thursday when using it as a resource for Sunday school prep.
But when I re-read it on Saturday - after receiving some searing criticism from a friend - It was healing balm to my soul. Keller has a lot to say about why our egos bruise so easily (which was very convicting), but he gives sage counsel as to how to escape the cycle of pride and humiliation that come from obsessing over ourselves.
"Gospel humility is not needing to think about myself.... True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. [It is] the freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings." p.32
I love this little book. I read it once a year and every time I need to hear what it has to say. That the verdict is in. And I can perform on the basis of the verdict because I am accepted and loved, because of Jesus, I don’t have to do anything to build up my résumé. I don’t have to do things to make me look good, I can do things for the joy of doing them. I can help people just to help them, not so I can feel better by myself.
The only person whose opinion counts looks at me, and he finds me more valuable than all the jewels in the Earth. I need to be reminded of this daily.
Thankful for Tim exposing that when we feel our feelings are hurt, it is actually the ego that hurts, my self & identity. Who will save me from this bondage of sin? The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord!
The last chapter (as well as some life recently) triggered one of those ah-ha moments in your Christian walk where it clicks: we are only saved by Jesus’s finished work, his performance, not ours!
I can now live and do things for the JOY of doing them, and not to feed my pride. Thank you Jesus. For real he knows what we need.
This is a once a year read for me. I think the truths Keller draws out are so significant and so little understood. This is the book I use most often in my counseling, and it has been of vast import in my own life.
This is such an amazing resource! Super short read that you can read in one sitting that leaves you with a lot to think about. I literally feel like this was ground breaking stuff for me so definitely read it if you have the chance!
Read during my lunch break. Super easy but beneficial read. CS Lewis's pride chapter messed up my whole life freshman year of college and this felt like a good reminder of how obsessed with myself I am.
Not counting towards my reading goal because it's basically an essay.
Powerful and insightful essay about identity in Christ. Really helpful word picture that hit me at the right time. I am so grateful to the people who recommended it!
You have to read this. Keller packs a punch in these 40-odd pages. You only need 30 minutes to read it, but probably a little longer than that to digest it all 😅