What do you think?
Rate this book
If You See Them: Young, Unhoused, and Alone in America
A moving exploration of the crisis of homeless youth—told through the inspiring stories of a woman on the frontlines and the kids themselves.
They hide in plain sight. They survive on free school breakfasts and lunches, join school sports teams in order to shower, sleep on friends’ couches, in parks, or on the streets. Their official designation is “unaccompanied homeless youth”—they are not "runaways" breaking free from strict parenting; these are kids seeking safety. They have escaped abusive parents, have been abandoned, or have never had a home to begin with.
When Vicki Sokolik’s son brought home a classmate who was living on her own and was dropping out of school to support herself, Vicki stepped in to help. As she learned more about the invisible population of young people navigating life alone, she discovered the countless ways they are overlooked and impeded by the system. She founded a nonprofit and worked to change legislation in her home state of Florida to give these kids agency over their lives.
If You See Them wakes us up to the issue of youth homelessness in America, through Sokolik’s own story of advocacy and through the voices of the kids themselves. Her grassroots action demonstrates the world-shifting power of compassion, acceptance, belonging, and self-determination, and the capacity each of us has to change our communities for the better.
They hide in plain sight. They survive on free school breakfasts and lunches, join school sports teams in order to shower, sleep on friends’ couches, in parks, or on the streets. Their official designation is “unaccompanied homeless youth”—they are not "runaways" breaking free from strict parenting; these are kids seeking safety. They have escaped abusive parents, have been abandoned, or have never had a home to begin with.
When Vicki Sokolik’s son brought home a classmate who was living on her own and was dropping out of school to support herself, Vicki stepped in to help. As she learned more about the invisible population of young people navigating life alone, she discovered the countless ways they are overlooked and impeded by the system. She founded a nonprofit and worked to change legislation in her home state of Florida to give these kids agency over their lives.
If You See Them wakes us up to the issue of youth homelessness in America, through Sokolik’s own story of advocacy and through the voices of the kids themselves. Her grassroots action demonstrates the world-shifting power of compassion, acceptance, belonging, and self-determination, and the capacity each of us has to change our communities for the better.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published February 13, 2024
70 people are currently reading
7664 people want to read
About the author
Vicki Sokolik
1 book20 followers If you have read IF YOU SEE THEM or are currently reading If You See Them with your book club, I would be happy to Zoom in and answer any questions or have a discussion. Please send me a message through my website - vickisokolik.com - to schedule.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 128 reviews
September 5, 2023
I should reveal up front that, while I don’t know Vicki Sokolik and have not spoken to her personally, I have worked with some of her kids and gone to her fundraisers. I received an ARC because I work with her local bookstore.
The stories that she tells in this book are heartbreaking because they are true. Starting Right, Now gives kids the chance to own their stories and choose how those stories will shape them.
Vicki is a tireless advocate for the kids in the program, and for all the kids her program can’t reach. She, along with everyone else on the team, fight to break down every barrier that these young people face.
This book offers data, it offers personal stories, but it is at its heart a plea for us to do better for kids who are at risk because of factors far beyond their control. It’s easy sometimes to peg them as trouble-makers, as those who will never achieve better because they don’t care or they don’t try. The reality is that they are children and they are worse than alone; they are often from families who don’t care and actively harm them, and then they are hamstrung by bureaucracies that have made no allowance for them.
If You See Them, though, decency and humanity will compel you to help.
The stories that she tells in this book are heartbreaking because they are true. Starting Right, Now gives kids the chance to own their stories and choose how those stories will shape them.
Vicki is a tireless advocate for the kids in the program, and for all the kids her program can’t reach. She, along with everyone else on the team, fight to break down every barrier that these young people face.
This book offers data, it offers personal stories, but it is at its heart a plea for us to do better for kids who are at risk because of factors far beyond their control. It’s easy sometimes to peg them as trouble-makers, as those who will never achieve better because they don’t care or they don’t try. The reality is that they are children and they are worse than alone; they are often from families who don’t care and actively harm them, and then they are hamstrung by bureaucracies that have made no allowance for them.
If You See Them, though, decency and humanity will compel you to help.
September 22, 2023
Thank you to Spiegel & Grau and NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book. I want to state upfront that I did DNF this book at 30% because the tone of the book bothered me.
Vicki Sokolik has done impactful work founding the organization Starting Right Now (SRN) to end homelessness for youth by providing one-on-one mentoring, a stable home, assisting with employment opportunities, teaching financial literacy/life skills and promoting educational achievement. Ms. Sokolik has completed a lot of research on homelessness amongst youth which is demonstrated in the book. She and her family have helped many individuals over many years.
The book came across as very patronizing and an example of white saviorism. This is just my own opinion and I would encourage those who are interested in learning more about homelessness in youth to read this book.
Vicki Sokolik has done impactful work founding the organization Starting Right Now (SRN) to end homelessness for youth by providing one-on-one mentoring, a stable home, assisting with employment opportunities, teaching financial literacy/life skills and promoting educational achievement. Ms. Sokolik has completed a lot of research on homelessness amongst youth which is demonstrated in the book. She and her family have helped many individuals over many years.
The book came across as very patronizing and an example of white saviorism. This is just my own opinion and I would encourage those who are interested in learning more about homelessness in youth to read this book.
February 29, 2024
While I thought this book shed light on a category of people that few knew to exist in our country, I think the subtitle of "Young, Unhoused, and Alone in America" would be better written as "Young, Unhoused, and Alone in Florida." I recognize all of the author's work in getting unaccompanied youth recognized in Florida, all of her work to support them in Florida, and laws changed to help them in Florida, but based on the title, I was expecting a more balanced discussion about unaccompanied youth around the country, not just in Florida.
The author's personal life stories involving her daughter did not add much to the book; in fact, I thought they made her family seem way too privileged and like they felt that they were saints gracing the unaccompanied youth with their money and assistance. I'm not trying to downplay the effect her family has had on many youths in Florida, but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
The author's personal life stories involving her daughter did not add much to the book; in fact, I thought they made her family seem way too privileged and like they felt that they were saints gracing the unaccompanied youth with their money and assistance. I'm not trying to downplay the effect her family has had on many youths in Florida, but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
December 6, 2023
As a voracious (at least trying to be) reader, I am always excited to learn about new things. There have been a fair number of books about and by people below poverty line, foster youth, etc that I'm familiar with but this concept of an unaccompanied youth that fall and yet don't fall into any of these demographics was entirely foreign to me, This book has a healthy amount of human touch aka individual stories of youths helped by the nonprofit the author created and a healthy amount of general and legal education about this hidden population. My only negative feedback is it would have been interesting to hear more about the kids that the program couldn't help. It would have felt slightly more real that way. But either way, still a really interesting read.
November 12, 2023
What a complete honor to read this book!
Every social worker, teacher, medical professional anyone who would come in contact with homeless youth needs to read this book !
What an amazing author to have such a struggle in her child’s health and be involved with helping so many kids not her own. The SRN kid’s stories will forever stay with me as well as the compassionate honesty of the author. Vicki really truly understands what these kids go through in the difficulty to trust and break the old memory tapes when adapting to the SRN program.
Amanda, Shaq, Courtney and everyone else who wrote their stories to co author this book thank you .
Thank you to Cori for her bravery and sharing her story .
This is the human experience it can give us challenges in many ways and forms .
Vicki you are a rock star !!!
P.S.
So strange to feel “ sorry “ for these kids and forgetting that I was once one myself .
My ACE score was higher than I would have guessed.
Thank you NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review .
Every social worker, teacher, medical professional anyone who would come in contact with homeless youth needs to read this book !
What an amazing author to have such a struggle in her child’s health and be involved with helping so many kids not her own. The SRN kid’s stories will forever stay with me as well as the compassionate honesty of the author. Vicki really truly understands what these kids go through in the difficulty to trust and break the old memory tapes when adapting to the SRN program.
Amanda, Shaq, Courtney and everyone else who wrote their stories to co author this book thank you .
Thank you to Cori for her bravery and sharing her story .
This is the human experience it can give us challenges in many ways and forms .
Vicki you are a rock star !!!
P.S.
So strange to feel “ sorry “ for these kids and forgetting that I was once one myself .
My ACE score was higher than I would have guessed.
Thank you NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review .
November 12, 2024
If You See Them: Young, Unhoused, and Alone in America by Vicki Sokolik is a powerful and moving depiction of the plight of thousands of teens in the United States who are living the sofas or floors of friends, cars, park benches--who for many reasons are without family who can take care of them, who have often abused them, abandoned or driven them away. Their lives even before being cast out onto the streets are usually fillled with multiple trumas.
Vicki Sokolik was a young, comfortably-situated wife and mother living in Florida. Wanting to "do good" she volunteered to bring a turkey dinner for Christmas one year to a mother living in a motel room because despite working full-time, she was still unable to afford appropriate housing. Somehow that turned into a life commitment to helping unprotected and unseen homeless youths.
I found Sokolik's presence on the page to be likable if a bit strait-laced. But she is unpretentious about her work and honest in her depiction of her own evolution as someone who had many unconscious assumptions about the lives of others and acceptance of the idea that all it takes to succeed is hard work.
She weaves in her experience as the mother of two, one of whom has her own special needs. And in meeting her own challenges in dealing with the needs of her child she becomes increasingly aware of privileges she has that she had taken for granted. In the course of the book, particularly the first half, we see her broaden and deepen her understanding of herself, the society in which she lives, and some of the struggles that teens who have lost housing and families struggle with.
As the book progresses, Sokolik's personal story recedes and the stories of the teens take over. Through the lens of several key members of the SRN--the grassroots organization founded by Sokolik to support these children--we are made aware of the enormous struggles, abuses (including a seemingly universal catalog of rape). The stories are tragic. I was moved to tears at times not only from sadness but from respect and even awe at what these young people have been able to overcome.
The more Sokelik did, the more she saw needed to be done. Just getting someone to college was no longer the goal. In fact, for some, it wasn't even the appropriate goal. But ultimately teaching these teens the life skills--how to cook, clean, take care of a living space, take care of your own body--things she (most of us) take for granted that someone knows--became a priority. Just as importantly, so did workshops on how to assert yourself, building social skills and self-awareness and, ultimately, self-compassion and self-acceptance were crucial components in helping people who have been highly traumatized, abused, and neglected, to becoming independent and successful.
A beautiful book. I thank publishers Spiegel & Grau, Library.Thing and the author for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I also thank Sokolik for her dedication and the inspiration she has provided so many people with--including myself.
Vicki Sokolik was a young, comfortably-situated wife and mother living in Florida. Wanting to "do good" she volunteered to bring a turkey dinner for Christmas one year to a mother living in a motel room because despite working full-time, she was still unable to afford appropriate housing. Somehow that turned into a life commitment to helping unprotected and unseen homeless youths.
I found Sokolik's presence on the page to be likable if a bit strait-laced. But she is unpretentious about her work and honest in her depiction of her own evolution as someone who had many unconscious assumptions about the lives of others and acceptance of the idea that all it takes to succeed is hard work.
She weaves in her experience as the mother of two, one of whom has her own special needs. And in meeting her own challenges in dealing with the needs of her child she becomes increasingly aware of privileges she has that she had taken for granted. In the course of the book, particularly the first half, we see her broaden and deepen her understanding of herself, the society in which she lives, and some of the struggles that teens who have lost housing and families struggle with.
As the book progresses, Sokolik's personal story recedes and the stories of the teens take over. Through the lens of several key members of the SRN--the grassroots organization founded by Sokolik to support these children--we are made aware of the enormous struggles, abuses (including a seemingly universal catalog of rape). The stories are tragic. I was moved to tears at times not only from sadness but from respect and even awe at what these young people have been able to overcome.
The more Sokelik did, the more she saw needed to be done. Just getting someone to college was no longer the goal. In fact, for some, it wasn't even the appropriate goal. But ultimately teaching these teens the life skills--how to cook, clean, take care of a living space, take care of your own body--things she (most of us) take for granted that someone knows--became a priority. Just as importantly, so did workshops on how to assert yourself, building social skills and self-awareness and, ultimately, self-compassion and self-acceptance were crucial components in helping people who have been highly traumatized, abused, and neglected, to becoming independent and successful.
A beautiful book. I thank publishers Spiegel & Grau, Library.Thing and the author for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I also thank Sokolik for her dedication and the inspiration she has provided so many people with--including myself.
April 20, 2024
Randomly saw this book at the library and am glad I picked it up. Through a friend of her teenage son, the author comes face to face with the reality of homeless youth. This books follows the stories of unaccompanied high school students as they enter into the SRN program (Started by the author) where they are advocated for, and equipped for how to live on their own & enter into higher education, military, or vocational training. It was eye opening and heartbreaking hearing the stories of these students, and I especially loved reading their words present day as they reflected on their time over a decade ago.
Some complaints I have about this book were that I found many of the author’s personal stories to feel out of place. This book is not marketed as a memoir, so it felt strange. I do not want to take away from the advocacy and work she has done for the students- from practical day to day needs all the way up to passing bills. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I really do believe she included these stories to try and allude to her own privilege and nativity. However, I think it unfortunately came off somewhat pretentious and bordering on white savior.
Besides that, even though it was focused on Florida, I think it sheds a light on often overlooked group of people in the US!
Some complaints I have about this book were that I found many of the author’s personal stories to feel out of place. This book is not marketed as a memoir, so it felt strange. I do not want to take away from the advocacy and work she has done for the students- from practical day to day needs all the way up to passing bills. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I really do believe she included these stories to try and allude to her own privilege and nativity. However, I think it unfortunately came off somewhat pretentious and bordering on white savior.
Besides that, even though it was focused on Florida, I think it sheds a light on often overlooked group of people in the US!
March 31, 2024
Im conflicted. Great subject and she is doing good work. And she clearly was in the process of educating herself about her own privilege. On the other hand, moments of privilege and ignorance that felt… obtuse and white savior-y.
January 8, 2024
Vicki Sokolik is a remarkable woman. Her book, If You See Them, describes her work with homeless teens who are often invisible to the public. These young people are usually coming from an abusive home and have been abandoned by their dysfunctional family. In an effort to avoid foster care they attempt to live unnoticed. Unfortunately they are often angry, distrustful, and difficult to help.
The author has dedicated her life to these teens. Her true life stories of the youth she works with was eye opening and very moving. The impact she and her organization has made is wonderful. What struck me the most was her unbelievable patience and perseverance in dealing with each individual teen. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and I am now much more aware of the issue of homeless teens .
The author has dedicated her life to these teens. Her true life stories of the youth she works with was eye opening and very moving. The impact she and her organization has made is wonderful. What struck me the most was her unbelievable patience and perseverance in dealing with each individual teen. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and I am now much more aware of the issue of homeless teens .
December 21, 2024
I thoroughly loved this book. 5 stars is not enough. I can't believe that this book has less than 500 ratings and just over 100 reviews. It deserves more than that.
While some reviews have said that the tone was patronizing or white savior-y, I did not feel that way (I say this as a white person who has had a comfortable life). I realize that that conversation is more than I really want to delve into in this review, but to me, she seemed pretty aware of her own privilege. She recognizes that when she began her work, part of her motivation was honestly her looking for something to make her feel good about herself, but I'd say that things certainly evolved and matured and moved past that in her 20+ year career. I guess if you only read the first third of the book, you might come away with the white savior impression, but part of what I really liked about the book was reading Vicki's journey in becoming a better advocate for these kids as she herself grew as a person. She does not stay a "white savior." She becomes a true advocate and ally for these kids. She recognized when she made mistakes, even when she had the best intentions. Also, she shares what happened from her perspective, and she includes many passages where the teens themselves tell the stories in their own words. This paragraph is much longer than I intended it to be, but I felt this was worth mentioning.
Vicki illuminated a population I was very unaware of. I will think of these kids and societies' duty to help them for a long time. I loved how she highlighted the resources available to the teens, as well as the ridiculous road blocks in their paths.
Lastly, Vicki is a good storyteller. The pacing was engaging. The stories empathy-evoking. I was glued to this book even though I was in the middle of 2 others.
I didn't love the narrator for the audio, but when I sped it up to 1.25 speed, her voice/inflection didn't bother me anymore, haha.
10/10 recommend to all non-fiction readers.
While some reviews have said that the tone was patronizing or white savior-y, I did not feel that way (I say this as a white person who has had a comfortable life). I realize that that conversation is more than I really want to delve into in this review, but to me, she seemed pretty aware of her own privilege. She recognizes that when she began her work, part of her motivation was honestly her looking for something to make her feel good about herself, but I'd say that things certainly evolved and matured and moved past that in her 20+ year career. I guess if you only read the first third of the book, you might come away with the white savior impression, but part of what I really liked about the book was reading Vicki's journey in becoming a better advocate for these kids as she herself grew as a person. She does not stay a "white savior." She becomes a true advocate and ally for these kids. She recognized when she made mistakes, even when she had the best intentions. Also, she shares what happened from her perspective, and she includes many passages where the teens themselves tell the stories in their own words. This paragraph is much longer than I intended it to be, but I felt this was worth mentioning.
Vicki illuminated a population I was very unaware of. I will think of these kids and societies' duty to help them for a long time. I loved how she highlighted the resources available to the teens, as well as the ridiculous road blocks in their paths.
Lastly, Vicki is a good storyteller. The pacing was engaging. The stories empathy-evoking. I was glued to this book even though I was in the middle of 2 others.
I didn't love the narrator for the audio, but when I sped it up to 1.25 speed, her voice/inflection didn't bother me anymore, haha.
10/10 recommend to all non-fiction readers.
July 9, 2024
What I thought I was getting with this book: How to better identify homeless youth and ways to work with/help them.
What I actually got: Personalized accounts from unaccompanied homeless youth about their experiences, and how a non-profit was created that helps these young people.
A very well written and powerful book that pulls no punches. I cried several times while reading this but I highly recommend it.
What I actually got: Personalized accounts from unaccompanied homeless youth about their experiences, and how a non-profit was created that helps these young people.
A very well written and powerful book that pulls no punches. I cried several times while reading this but I highly recommend it.
February 18, 2024
I am honestly not sure what compelled me to read this book as it is pretty far outside my normal reading habit and I am kind of surprised I finished it actually! There were times where I almost couldn't believe how uncomfortable the narrative was, but something about the writing style kept me going.
The pace of this book is pretty quick, with clearly labelled chapters exploring various stories from both the author and the kids she work with's point of views. I feel like if I was more aligned with how the author lived or thought, I might have gotten more out of this as she detailed her various revelations about why poor people live life differently than rich people.
Though she acknowledges her priveleges several times, its still pretty painful to read some of the things she thought before working with unaccompanied homeless youth. It is fair to assume, however, that she remained as authentic as described by the kids she worked with throughout the book.
Overall, I think this book is well-written and explores a relatively unexplored topic, but I don't think I am the right audience. As someone who lives in west central Wisconsin, I was more appalled by the author's skewed worldview than I was shocked by the circumstances she was describing.
The pace of this book is pretty quick, with clearly labelled chapters exploring various stories from both the author and the kids she work with's point of views. I feel like if I was more aligned with how the author lived or thought, I might have gotten more out of this as she detailed her various revelations about why poor people live life differently than rich people.
Though she acknowledges her priveleges several times, its still pretty painful to read some of the things she thought before working with unaccompanied homeless youth. It is fair to assume, however, that she remained as authentic as described by the kids she worked with throughout the book.
Overall, I think this book is well-written and explores a relatively unexplored topic, but I don't think I am the right audience. As someone who lives in west central Wisconsin, I was more appalled by the author's skewed worldview than I was shocked by the circumstances she was describing.
August 21, 2023
Vicki is a hero in my eyes. Her writing explores her life and the lives of those she has helped survive poverty and homelessness and more. She's a compassionate person and this book is an important look at our society. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.
February 29, 2024
Learned a lot from this book! Would definitely recommend
March 14, 2025
This one was heavy but really important. Every year when Christmas gifts or Thanksgiving meals are organized and donated to families, I can’t help but think of the momentary band-aid it is for families who need not just seasonal help. The author, Vicki, while out delivering a Thanksgiving meal to a family in need has this same epiphany and starts trying to do more. At first she’s motivated sort of selfishly by how good she feels because she’s helping others, but she quickly learns that these big problems of being unhoused, especially for teenagers, is not an easy fix by a quick dopamine hit of dropping off presents or a turkey. Teenagers who are unhoused, with very few resources available to them, experience trauma and obstacles that require ingenuity, patience, and compassion.
Vicki starts working tirelessly to create lasting solutions (and change laws) to make a needed impact for unhoused teens. Set against the background of her own personal turmoil of trying to navigate life with her epileptic daughter, Vicki is a remarkable individual who does the really hard work of dedicating her life to bettering the lives of an underserved population. Her nonprofit, Starting Right, Now is phenomenal.
Vicki starts working tirelessly to create lasting solutions (and change laws) to make a needed impact for unhoused teens. Set against the background of her own personal turmoil of trying to navigate life with her epileptic daughter, Vicki is a remarkable individual who does the really hard work of dedicating her life to bettering the lives of an underserved population. Her nonprofit, Starting Right, Now is phenomenal.
April 18, 2024
Eh. I have no doubt that the author is passionate about her work, and that she is helping people in need, but I got major “I’m their savior” vibes from her and found her to be very unlikable. I was still interested in reading the book and hearing a perspective on homeless kids, but it just sort of soured the whole experience.
October 1, 2024
Wow, it took me a month to finish this book. Bit by bit since it was on the heavier side.
So this wealthy privileged white lady is delivering Thanksgiving dinners to families in need one holiday thinking she's done her part and she looks closer and realizes these families don't need Thanksgiving dinners they need real help. Over time she created an entire program called Starting Right, Now that provides social and health services to unhoused teenage students who are not in foster care. She highlights about eight different stories that give the perspective from the teen, and then from herself.
This makes me look around at the high school at work out and wonder how many of these teens are among us.
She used her status, wealth and connections to access resources to provide kids with housing and opportunities for college. Many went on to break the cycle and change their lives. (And there are people who insult her, using terms like white savior. Do they have a better idea of how she should be spending her time, money and resources?)
At first, she was securing individual apartments for each student using funding. They would be furnished, and they would have money for food. But that came with its own expected problems, like the students couldn't handle being on their own. They didn't know how to cook or clean and they would invite friends over and have parties. And it would be a huge wreck. Eventually they were given a 24 room house that they turned into a group home and it is running very well, eliminating most of those problems using rules and a Staff to oversee.
Once again, Story to the rescue. The kids enroll in a Dale Carnegie nine week class where they share their story and defining moments of their lives. It helps the kids build self-confidence, enhance communication and teamwork. They also learn most importantly, that they are not alone and their many kids have been through the same thing or worse.
Inside glimpses on how certain corporations like payday loans, and rent to own furniture stores prey on people. There was one example of a lady who always cashed her paychecks at payday places, incurring unnecessary expenses and fees, all because she didn't trust banks. Once she was taught how banks work and taken to set up her own account, was she able to actually start saving money.
And more!
So this wealthy privileged white lady is delivering Thanksgiving dinners to families in need one holiday thinking she's done her part and she looks closer and realizes these families don't need Thanksgiving dinners they need real help. Over time she created an entire program called Starting Right, Now that provides social and health services to unhoused teenage students who are not in foster care. She highlights about eight different stories that give the perspective from the teen, and then from herself.
This makes me look around at the high school at work out and wonder how many of these teens are among us.
She used her status, wealth and connections to access resources to provide kids with housing and opportunities for college. Many went on to break the cycle and change their lives. (And there are people who insult her, using terms like white savior. Do they have a better idea of how she should be spending her time, money and resources?)
At first, she was securing individual apartments for each student using funding. They would be furnished, and they would have money for food. But that came with its own expected problems, like the students couldn't handle being on their own. They didn't know how to cook or clean and they would invite friends over and have parties. And it would be a huge wreck. Eventually they were given a 24 room house that they turned into a group home and it is running very well, eliminating most of those problems using rules and a Staff to oversee.
Once again, Story to the rescue. The kids enroll in a Dale Carnegie nine week class where they share their story and defining moments of their lives. It helps the kids build self-confidence, enhance communication and teamwork. They also learn most importantly, that they are not alone and their many kids have been through the same thing or worse.
Inside glimpses on how certain corporations like payday loans, and rent to own furniture stores prey on people. There was one example of a lady who always cashed her paychecks at payday places, incurring unnecessary expenses and fees, all because she didn't trust banks. Once she was taught how banks work and taken to set up her own account, was she able to actually start saving money.
And more!
March 12, 2024
This is an excellent book about one woman's chance journey into the world of unhoused youth, kids who don't qualify for foster care bc they have left home voluntarily (due to some dire stressor). Vicki is a privileged white woman whose own good fortune from birth to young adulthood gave her a well of inner strength and a sense of "I'm going to get this (done)" that serves her very well in a role that is deeply arduous, mentally and emotionally.
I think that despite its seemingly narrow focus (essentially case studies of some of her kids) in FL, all of whom are unhoused, there are many important lessons about the myriad ways society fails the most vulnerable and how to show up for kids in need.
That being said, as a teacher, I felt some of her comments about school discipline, etc, missed the mark. Truly, there are problems. I do not deny that. But with the limited resources schools have, how can they address everything a kid needs to be supported and successful? They have to function, and sometimes that means suspending a kid who, sure, would benefit from a more individualized intervention. Unfortunately, schools cannot singlehandly address foundational societal ills, like lack of universal healthcare, housing, food, etc. If we could, I think we would. AND, her organization helps only a select number of kids. Her participants are interviewed extensively to determine if they're eligible and a good fit. Many are turned away. Others are expelled from the program. Public schools cannot turn students away, but her group does. So, yeah, the hypocritical nature of those critiques rubbed me the wrong way.
Other than that, an important book that will, sadly, probably be read only by people who already agree with its premise.
Also, shout out to her saying that troubled teens don't have trust issues but that society has a rape issue (when speaking to the high degree of sexual abuse and assault her program's kids have faced). That is the reframing we need for so many of society's issues.
I think that despite its seemingly narrow focus (essentially case studies of some of her kids) in FL, all of whom are unhoused, there are many important lessons about the myriad ways society fails the most vulnerable and how to show up for kids in need.
That being said, as a teacher, I felt some of her comments about school discipline, etc, missed the mark. Truly, there are problems. I do not deny that. But with the limited resources schools have, how can they address everything a kid needs to be supported and successful? They have to function, and sometimes that means suspending a kid who, sure, would benefit from a more individualized intervention. Unfortunately, schools cannot singlehandly address foundational societal ills, like lack of universal healthcare, housing, food, etc. If we could, I think we would. AND, her organization helps only a select number of kids. Her participants are interviewed extensively to determine if they're eligible and a good fit. Many are turned away. Others are expelled from the program. Public schools cannot turn students away, but her group does. So, yeah, the hypocritical nature of those critiques rubbed me the wrong way.
Other than that, an important book that will, sadly, probably be read only by people who already agree with its premise.
Also, shout out to her saying that troubled teens don't have trust issues but that society has a rape issue (when speaking to the high degree of sexual abuse and assault her program's kids have faced). That is the reframing we need for so many of society's issues.
Read
February 20, 2024disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial
Thank you to the published & author for the ARC — I am providing an honest review on my own accord.
While I appreciate what the author has done with her nonprofit organization to assist unhoused youth in Florida, this felt a lot like a book that promotes white saviorism and it felt condescending and patronizing at times. I agree that we should extend more grace, compassion, and participate in community care when we notice a potential unhoused kid, but the author comes from an incredibly privileged background, so I do think the wealthy need to step up, just like Vicki has done.
I absolutely think we need more advocates for unhoused youth especially in America, and who better than someone well-connected and who has the financial resources to do so? I get that. However, I think I would have rather read a compilation of narratives from the unhoused folks themselves, rather than having so much of the focus be on the author’s perspective.
If this is your very first venture into learning about unhoused folks in America, I say go for it. It’s informative, you do get to hear from a handful of unhoused kids who are part of the author’s program, and hopefully it will inspire you to do something about this crisis in your local community. If you are already pretty well versed on the topic though, I’d say you could probably skip this.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Abandonment, Ableism, Classism, Cursing, Drug use, Mental illness, and Toxic relationship
Thank you to the published & author for the ARC — I am providing an honest review on my own accord.
While I appreciate what the author has done with her nonprofit organization to assist unhoused youth in Florida, this felt a lot like a book that promotes white saviorism and it felt condescending and patronizing at times. I agree that we should extend more grace, compassion, and participate in community care when we notice a potential unhoused kid, but the author comes from an incredibly privileged background, so I do think the wealthy need to step up, just like Vicki has done.
I absolutely think we need more advocates for unhoused youth especially in America, and who better than someone well-connected and who has the financial resources to do so? I get that. However, I think I would have rather read a compilation of narratives from the unhoused folks themselves, rather than having so much of the focus be on the author’s perspective.
If this is your very first venture into learning about unhoused folks in America, I say go for it. It’s informative, you do get to hear from a handful of unhoused kids who are part of the author’s program, and hopefully it will inspire you to do something about this crisis in your local community. If you are already pretty well versed on the topic though, I’d say you could probably skip this.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Abandonment, Ableism, Classism, Cursing, Drug use, Mental illness, and Toxic relationship
February 24, 2024
I wasn’t sure what I was getting into when I put this book on hold at my local library. I saw it was new and had some rave reviews. It’s not my typical genre, but I am so glad I went for it. If You See Them is a captivating story. I couldn’t put it down and became invested in each one of these young peoples’ lives. It left me wanting more. As I read, it made me want to do more for the youth in my own area. Reading all the obstacles stacked against them, it makes sense why we have so many of the problems that we do. A little kindness and compassion can go a long way. This book was inspiring and left me imagining what we could do in our own communities? It has definitely given me some things to think about and it’s one of those books that will stick with me for a long time.
April 17, 2024
This book should be a must read. It is really informative and the vignettes really humanize this experience. At the beginning, I didn’t love the narrator because it seemed like she had a bit of a savior complex, but she is doing amazing work, and this is such an important story to tell. I really grew to like the author by the end of the book as she also grew from the experiences with the homeless youth she was helping.
November 7, 2023
This book has so much good and helpful information that so many people need to know. I spent time in college working in a youth homeless shelter, but I learned so much more about homeless youth in America through this book.
My only complaint was that I felt like a lot of the information about the authors personal life didn’t really add to the point of the book. Some of it to understand her perspective was fine but I felt like a lot of it could have been left out of this book.
Overall a important book!
My only complaint was that I felt like a lot of the information about the authors personal life didn’t really add to the point of the book. Some of it to understand her perspective was fine but I felt like a lot of it could have been left out of this book.
Overall a important book!
August 22, 2025
Epitome of white saviorism, I was excited about the concept of this book but sorely disappointed with the execution.
April 22, 2024
I was so excited to read this book and learn more about what unhoused youth experience in this country, but I struggled with this one. Initially, there were a lot of rich, white, savior vibes as Vicki “stepped in to help” her son’s classmate and the young people that followed. The privilege and naiveté the author demonstrated irked me. But as the story began to unfold she changed her outlook and approach and eventually founded a non-profit and has worked to change laws in Florida related to this topic. The challenges unhoused youth face is heartbreaking. As an educator, some of my prior knowledge, especially about their academic experiences, was reinforced, but I also learned so much. The resiliance of these young people is admirable (it sounds cliché, but there is no better description). I was rooting for these kids! Once someone can help them meet their basic needs, many of them soar. Thank you @netgalley and @spiegalandgrau for this early copy in exchange for my honest review.
November 6, 2024
I shed a lot of tears throughout this book. Informative and really touching. Thankful for people like Vicki.
October 2, 2024
This felt like two totally separate books, and I really enjoyed one of them and hated the other. I really liked the snippets from the kids POV. I liked hearing about their feelings, their experiences, their reactions to their environment. Those were by far the best part of the whole book.
I really, really disliked the parts about the author's personal life. I came to this book to read about unhoused children. I didn't want to hear about her multi-millionaire parents, and the multiple cars they bought her, the charmed and privileged life she led. All the excess and total lack of awareness was pretty gross to read about. I think she's trying to gain sympathy by detailing her daughter's illness. And I'm sure it was really terrible to have amazing health insurance, and the financial ability to drop everything at a moment's notice to fly across the country to see the best doctors, and to have family wealthy enough to travel in order to help with emotional support, and to afford quality childcare for her other kid. She describes absolutely horrific events that unhoused kids she helped have gone through and her personal story was in no way equivalent.
I think the author has a really good heart and has done an amazing amount of work and a lot of good for this vulnerable population. But I wanted to read about them, not her.
I really, really disliked the parts about the author's personal life. I came to this book to read about unhoused children. I didn't want to hear about her multi-millionaire parents, and the multiple cars they bought her, the charmed and privileged life she led. All the excess and total lack of awareness was pretty gross to read about. I think she's trying to gain sympathy by detailing her daughter's illness. And I'm sure it was really terrible to have amazing health insurance, and the financial ability to drop everything at a moment's notice to fly across the country to see the best doctors, and to have family wealthy enough to travel in order to help with emotional support, and to afford quality childcare for her other kid. She describes absolutely horrific events that unhoused kids she helped have gone through and her personal story was in no way equivalent.
I think the author has a really good heart and has done an amazing amount of work and a lot of good for this vulnerable population. But I wanted to read about them, not her.
March 7, 2024
The author writes about her experiences with unhoused teenagers, living without support from their families, and her pursuit to help them find more stable situations.
Reading about the lives of the teenagers she has encountered is eye-opening and heartbreaking, and just the sheer number of kids trying to get by without adequate support from the adults in their lives is staggering; her work is certainly commendable and inspirational.
All of her casual references to her family’s wealth and political connections did bug, though, even if she does use them to help others. She kind of came across as a Good Samaritan who wants everyone to know how generous she is.
Thanks to #netgalley and #spiegelandgrau for this #arc of #ifyouseethem in exchange for an honest review.
Reading about the lives of the teenagers she has encountered is eye-opening and heartbreaking, and just the sheer number of kids trying to get by without adequate support from the adults in their lives is staggering; her work is certainly commendable and inspirational.
All of her casual references to her family’s wealth and political connections did bug, though, even if she does use them to help others. She kind of came across as a Good Samaritan who wants everyone to know how generous she is.
Thanks to #netgalley and #spiegelandgrau for this #arc of #ifyouseethem in exchange for an honest review.
June 2, 2024
Honestly such an interesting topic. The stories of youth were great and bringing light to the issues unaccompanied teens face was so informative! However, the author’s need to keep mentioning how privileged she is and how easy her life is really took me out of the story she was trying to tell. This was not marketed as a memoir but the author randomly interjecting her personal life and family life outside of her work with homeless youth felt so unnecessary.
Read
May 8, 2024This was a rare DNF for me. It felt very much like a white savior narrative where the focus was on the author’s philanthropy rather than on imparting information about/suggesting actions to support houseless youth. I hope I’m wrong and it turned around later, but I couldn’t stomach the flavor of saviorism throughout the first ~20% of the book.
June 2, 2023
If You See Them should be required reading - not just for teachers and lawmakers, for absolutely everyone.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 128 reviews