Free Country: A Penniless Adventure the Length of Britain

by George Mahood

The plan is simple. George and Ben have three weeks to cycle 1000 miles from the bottom of England to the top of Scotland. There is just one small problem… they have no bikes, no clothes, no food and no money. Setting off in just a pair of Union Jack boxer shorts, they attempt to rely on the generosity of the British public for everything from food to accommodation, clothes to shoes, and bikes to beer.

During the most hilarious adventure, George and Ben encounter some of Great Britain's most eccentric and extraordinary characters and find themselves in the most ridiculous situations. Free Country is guaranteed to make you laugh (you may even shed a tear). It will restore your faith in humanity and leave you with a big smile on your face and a warm feeling inside.

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Humor, Memoir, Adventure, Book Club, Biography

319 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 11, 2013

About the author

George Mahood is an award-winning writer. Specifically, he was placed third in the Little Brington Village Fete's limerick competition (Under 10s category) in 1988. It was the same year that Mrs Marriott's legendary fruit loaf was beaten in the WI cake contest for the first time in six years.

George studied Communication Studies and English Literature at Leeds University. After spending a year travelling in the USA (with clothes and money), he worked for several years in a variety of jobs including charity fund-raising and garlic bread making. He currently works as a photographer, specialising in weddings. George has been the lead singer and guitarist of a rubbish band and the chairman and midfielder of an awful Sunday-league football team.

George has plenty more madcap ideas that will form the basis of future books. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook to keep in touch, see more photos from FREE COUNTRY, and to hear about future projects.

www.facebook.com/georgemahood
www.twitter.com/georgemahood

Reviews

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the autobiography of George Mahood and his friend Ben, who decided to carry out an experiment to see just how kind and generous the people of the UK really are.

Their aim was to cycle around 1000 miles in 3 weeks, from Lands End in Cornwall to John O’Groats in Scotland. They had no money, no clothes, other than a pair of Union Jack boxer shorts each, (without which they would have been arrested for indecent exposure before their journey even started)! They didn’t even have the required bikes, something which is essential if you’re supposed to be cycling to Scotland!

Their task was to cadge everything for free on their long journey, from the actual bicycles, to food, drink, clothes and accommodation. This meant putting themselves completely at the mercy of strangers.

They slept in a variety of places along the way , from barns and hotels to a night on a canal boat. They were treated to a plentiful supply of food, and spent many a morning nursing hangovers after the generosity of various local villagers. Surprisingly, one of the few people to refuse them any help at all, was a man of the cloth, now exactly what does that say? Other than that stalwart of Christianity! their journey really does boost your faith in human kindness.

Told with a great sense of humour, and sprinkled with amusing one liners such as - “The roof leaked like a sieve, but it wasn’t cold, and the sound of rain on a polytunnel is very hypnotic, we both slept like babies ; waking up crying every hour with wet pants“!
A very pleasant diversion from the troubled world of 2020.

[Adina · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny travel journal written by a gut who diced to take a trip across GB together with his mate relying only on British generosity. The aim was to cycle around 1000 miles in 3 weeks, from Lands End in Cornwall to John O’Groats in Scotland. They started at the most south-eastern point of the island dressed only in shorts and a camera. They obtained clothes, means of transport, food and accommodation by asking people for help. I liked the idea and I spend a few pleasant hours in the company of the two crazy guys and their adventures.

[Tony Slater · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fantastic book. Make no bones about it - I enjoyed every minute of this ridiculous adventure from one end of Great Britain to the other.
The concept is brilliant - rely on the generosity of the people en-route for everything, from accommodation to toothbrushes - and it gives the whole book a purpose, rather than just following the exploits of two people on a mission.
Seeing how well they did, and sharing in their struggles, I felt completely immersed in the adventure. The writing flows so well, it's like hearing it from a mate down the pub - albeit with masterful pacing, wit and moments of sheer laugh-out-loud genius.
Did I mention I loved this book?
I read a lot of travel (as I write in that genre myself). I also read a lot of indie books (as I too am a self-published writer). But very rarely indeed do I come across something like this; a true gem of an indie travel book, which made me sit up late into the night to finish it. (4am, in case you're wondering.)
Buy this book. Read it. Then email George and tell him what a bloody nutcase he is for even attempting such a task.
(The trip I mean, not writing the book).
This will make you laugh, make you feel all mushy on occasion, make you laugh again - and then, when you least expect it, a poignant bit crops up. It will also make you feel great about Britain, and about people in general - we're not all axe murders (though some of us are, as you'll find out!).
'Life-affirming' to quote the book; 'uplifting' to quote the previous reviewers; 'bloody hysterical', to quote myself.
'Turn that damn thing off and get some sleep!' to quote my wife.
Poor woman.
But then, she had to get up for work in two hours.
Not many books keep me up 'till 4am, endangering my marriage in the process. This is one of them. Read it now.
Tony

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Kindle Bargin-Price treat!!!!!

...Laugh-out-loud!
...Fall in love with George and Ben!
...Be touched by the humanity-kindness-generosity of the people of Britain.
...Imagine YOU were on this adventure: Starting out with no clothes, (only a pair of boxer shorts), no money, no food, no water, no bike......
And the plan is to take 3 weeks of your life getting from Lands End to Scotland by BIKE. (remember, you have no bike).

"Free Country" is written by *George*...(great hotshot writer). I was able to smell the food they were eating, (most of it 'beige' color...lol), have clear visuals of the country --sense what it was like in the different small villages, and experience the many people they came into contact with: (people who gave them food, bikes, places to sleep, clothes, BEER, tools for their bikes, support and good cheer!)

Wonderfully Entertaining! (fall on the floor laughing a few times and almost wet your pants)

[Frank Kusy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many great travelogues have at their centre a streak of insanity - what made this couple uproot from cosy Surrey and start keeping bees in Roumania? What made this family of seven want to sail the Pacific Ocean in a dinghy? `Free Country' takes this insanity to a whole new level - two barmy Brits decide to bike-ride the full length of the UK, from Land's End to John O'Groats, in just three weeks - with no clothing (except the boxer shorts they stand up in), no food, no money...and no bikes. "Why??" you might ask."What special kind of madness is this??" The simple answer is: `to prove the kindness of strangers.' Britain is not broken, the author (and friend Ben) have us believe. We are not a nation that has lost sight of basic values of humanity and kinship, there lies within everyone the desire to help others. And so the plucky twosome plunge into their 1000 mile journey without money and provisions, relying entirely on the mercy and generosity of strangers to get them through.
Starting out with one trainer and half a pair of socks, graduating to a pair of wellies four sizes too small and six pairs of the biggest socks in existence, the pair acquire a scooter and a mini BX and are on their way! What follows is the road trip to end all road trips - a kind of Around the World in Eighty Days meets Around Ireland with a Fridge - with a bevy of colourful characters (crazy, pizza-tossing Arek, even crazier phone-freak Roobals, Glastonbury-legend Michael Eavis) and, for me at least, a belly-laugh on practically every page. My favourite line? `It is bloody cold and windy on the top of a mountain in a pair of silky shorts and a T-shirt.' Well yeah, it must be!!
I was genuinely sad when the dustbin-diving duo, having slept in a cling-filmed polytunnel, a hitman's sitting room, and a stable with an unexpected "Surprise" in it (and having survived on pic n'mix and `beige' food for 18 days) finally approached the finish line. I was hoping they might microwave another pair of underpants.

[Guy Venturi · Rating 5 out of 5]

See previous review on Amazon

See previous review on Amazon. This is just to clear the book on a different device due to technical difficulties and a shortage of pounds.

[D. Thrush · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the true story of George and Ben who decide to bike the End to End challenge, which is a 1,000 mile journey from the south of Britain to the north of Scotland in 3 weeks. To make it even more challenging, they set out barefoot with no money, no food or water, wearing only a pair of boxers. Oh yeah, and no bikes. They must rely on the kindness and generosity of strangers. Their first challenge is to acquire shoes and clothing. Oh yeah, and bikes. Then each day, they must find food, water, and shelter for the night. Somehow they manage to find plenty of beer and wind up at a whiskey tasting. I thoroughly enjoyed the banter between George and Ben as they bicker and disagree. George relates the story in an amusing manner while taking us through each small-town and introducing us to the people who help them along the way. They literally sing for their supper one day and someone gives them donuts to stop. I highly recommend this fun and entertaining book.

[Lee Prescott · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a great concept - to test the generosity of the British people by starting out at Land's End in a pair of boxer shorts aiming for John O'Groats and to not use money along the way. But, unfortunately, what should have been an amazing adventure is rendered uninteresting through the attitude of the two protagonists, which seemed to be upon coming across an unknown place to dismiss it as 'crap' rather than adopt Bryson's technique of supplying some historical or cultural context before dropping in a one-liner and arrive at the same conclusion. Add to that, the author and his friend's sense of entitlement - at one point only fish and chips is a fit dinner for the modern-day mendicants rather than what they have been generously given and the attempt at humour (funny jokes are also available) the book becomes

[Nikos Dunno · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another pleasant surprise as this free kindle book became my gym read and turned out to be quite enjoyable. I still can't get over how in the author's attempt to be funny and witty about some of their unique encounters, ended up sounding offensive about people who where selflessly trying to help them achieve their peculiar goal. That and the rushed and full of clichés last chapter cost the book the perfect score.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is insipid. I wanted to finish it, but it wasn't physically possible-- I rolled my eyes so often it was difficult to get to the bottom of a page. The jokes are so relentless, that they quite interfere with what might have been a sweet travel memoir, detailing the stories and idiosyncrasies of ordinary folks in the British countryside. I was disappointed.

[michelle burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastically funny. I felt every bump with them. Chuffed to read, the generosity that some people have, gives you a sense that all is not lost yet, there are still some decent people out there.
Now all I have to do is learn to ride a 🚵 😂

[Julie Haigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice change!

If you fancy something different this book is just the thing. It's written in diary format. It involves two men challenging themselves to go from Lands End to John O'Groats starting out with absolutely nothing-and I mean nothing-apart from each a pair of Union Jack/flag boxer shorts! They have no money, no food, no clothes and they have to blag items or work for them-eg. washing up in cafes or restaurants, cleaning hotels etc. This book is great and hilarious at times, really well-told. Each journal entry has photos of the days' events. My only criticism of this book-well the kindle edition anyway-is that the pictures are a bit small so that's the only reason I have given it 4 stars instead of 5. Ok you could enlarge each one individually but I would prefer for there to be say two decent sized photos per page but I don't know the costs or processes involved. You can look on George's website or Facebook page for more photos or better sized pictures but I would have preferred them to be easier to view in the book also. Some great moments in this book. They are given, for example, trousers way too big so they have to tie string around the waist as a belt also given a pair of trainers which I seem to remember were too small but, in the absence of any other footwear they had to wear one each until someone else provided them with other items. An excellent read, very different, refreshing and entertaining. I really liked the style of writing and I hope George thinks up another challenge to do and to write about because I would definitely buy that book too.

[Lisa Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book but it needs to come with a warning as I got virtually no work done for three days. Each time I passed my kindle I had to read a little more, just to discover what happened next.
In Free Country, George and his friend, Ben decide to cycle the length of Britain from Lands End to John O’Groats, some 1000 miles. But that is not enough of a challenge for George. He wants to do it without spending any money, in an attempt to show that human kindness is still alive and kicking.
Even that isn’t enough for the intrepid George. Instead, he and Ben begin their adventure on a windy Cornish coast without the benefit of any of the normal trappings of society. In order to achieve their goal they must first find transport… and clothes!
George Mahood writes at a fast pace, dragging the reader along with his optimism and naivety. The idea of blagging clothes and bicycles, food and accommodation for three weeks is astonishing. But is it possible? Or will George and Ben remain hungry, homeless and naked?
Free Country is so worth reading. Funny, well-written and a delight, it also restores one’s belief in the human race.

[Hal · Rating 5 out of 5]

There were these two guys standing in the sharp gravel at Land's End naked and shoeless except for boxer shorts emblazoned with the Union Jack....

Sounds like a joke, but it is the true story of George and Ben, who were about to set out on a trip from Britain's southernmost tip to the northern tip of Scotland, a distance of about 1,000 miles. Nothing unusual about that; many had done it before them on foot or by bicycle. But their trip has a twist.

They are going to make the trip without spending a penny. Starting out in just their underwear, they would make the trip by relying on their fellow Brits to provide them with clothing, food, lodging and bicycles. The story of their madcap adventure and the characters they met along the way is a delight to read.

George Mahood's writing style almost lets the trip tell its own story. I love Bryson's books a heap, but Mahoud holds his own with this book. I heartily recommend this book to anyone. I guarantee you'll find yourself laughing many times along the 1,000-mile trip.

[Melanie Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Got the January blues? Feeling a bit fed up? Down hearted? Glum? Then this is the book for you. George and Ben are absolutely archetypal British eccentrics. As if cycling from Land's End to John O'Groats isn't a mad enough idea in its own right, they decide to take it not one, not two, but about another 637 steps further into mad territory by cycling the length of the country without clothes, food, bicycles and the additional limitation of no use of money. I'm not going to spoil it for you, but this is a very funny book that does reaffirm your faith in the innate goodness of the people of Britain. I can't imagine for one second how well this book will sell in any other country, it's so quintessentially British. But it is without doubt an uplifting, heart warming, chucklicious tale that I would highly recommend and doubtless will listen to again when I feel an attack of the doldrums coming on. Witty in a way that will appeal to every British citizen. Congratulations fellas, you've made us proud!

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was such a nice change from others I’ve read. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it but it got me hooked.

I liked the style of writing- in diary format. There were some great moments in the book that had me laughing- the too big trousers, Ben falling off/over his bike (sorry Ben), the dodgy shorts, sharing a barn with Surprise... I was a little surprised at the time of doing the challenge that no-one in Cornwall had heard of pizza????!!! Can’t be true!

It was nice and refreshing to read about all the good natured helpers there are in the UK after everything you see and hear in the news.

It was a really entertaining book, the only downside (with the kindle version anyway) was the pictures were too small although you can view them on George’s Facebook page of you were so inclined. Great adventure, it’s tempted me to read some of his other books.

Although I am curious...how did they get home with no money and no mention of anyone meeting them???

[Aunty Janet · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great!
''The plan is simple. George and Ben have three weeks to cycle 1000 miles from the bottom of England to the top of Scotland. There’s just one small problem… they have no bikes, no clothes, no food and no money. Setting off in just a pair of Union Jack boxer shorts, they attempt to rely on the generosity of the British public for everything from food to accommodation, clothes to shoes, and bikes to beer.''
I found it funny, touching, and went some way to restore my faith in human nature. George and Ben are both officially very nice people!

[Kimber Wheaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. It was uplifting and funny. The fast pace and narrative style made it virtually impossible to put down. I really needed to know what happened next. The narration was akin to sitting down with a friend regaling the crowd with his crazy, "guess what silly thing I did," story. In times like these, it's really nice to read something that reminds me that most people are inherently good. But seriously, if I were one of these guys, I would've started with a pair of good walking shoes!

[Mike Reuther · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I wasn't laughing, I was sharing in the pain of these two penniless young dudes on their seemingly foolhardy bicycle journey from the south of England to the north of Scotland. Begging for food and shelter and dependent on the kindness of strangers, it's a travel book like no other. Do yourself a favor and read it.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic read

Was great to read about a journey I would like to do myself one day. Although I think I'll do it using money. But it's so great to see so many generous people willing to lend a hand to these guys and read about it in such an uplifting book!

[Suz L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well worth reading

This is quite the adventure; very well written. Lots of humor and just plain enjoyable to read. Great idea to see how generous people are to do a trip like this without spending any money.

[Duncan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two unemployed British guys decide to do the End to End: the trip from the southernmost tip of England to the northernmost point of the Scottish mainland. It's a thousand mile journey. Some people run it, some hike, and some cycle. Most people who undertake the challenge train and prepare extensively. These guys just decided to show up at the starting line and give it a shot. Instead of bringing a bunch of useful equipment, they started out with no money and no possessions - not even clothing - other than the pair of underpants they wore at the starting line.

Their hope was to complete the distance relying entirely on the generosity of the British public for everything: their clothing, food, lodgings, means of transport, etc. They allowed themselves to go on foot or by bike only. They weren't allowed to spend a penny. They arrived at the finish line in under three weeks.

The book is mostly an account of their experiences along the way. Though there are some descriptions of the landscape they passed through, from beautiful countryside to dangerous roads, the bulk of the writing and certainly the most interesting parts comprise the story of the people they met and the experiences they had while trying to find food, a place to sleep, or some basic supplies for their journey.

As you can imagine (indeed, as is probably essential for a book like this to be worth reading), they met some colourful characters and had some unusual encounters along the way. The book also shows just how kind and friendly the average person really is. It's easy to forget things like that as we go about our busy lives. There are plenty of funny moments too, though I suspect some of the comedy might be diminished for non-British readers. This was a light, enjoyable read, and I'd recommend it to others.

I give it three stars instead of four because the author's jokes and certain other lines are very repetitive in structure and they got a bit tedious. (Many of the jokes went: So-and-so did something. By something I don't mean X. That would be odd. No, I mean Y. For example: John came out and said bye to us. When I say he came out, I don't mean he told us he was gay. That would have been weird. I mean he left his house and saw us off.)

[Sarah Clement · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that will make you laugh and restore your faith in humanity. I chose it because I'm trying to read more books about the UK, having just moved here, but I didn't expect much from a self-published title about two guys blagging their way from Lands End to John O'Groats. I was pleasantly surprised that the book was well-written, didn't need an editor, and consistently held my attention. All rare things for a self-published book. The book has many surprising moments, but the overall message is not really all that surprising. Of course people are still generous and responsive to people who ask for help. If you don't believe that, then definitely read this book. For me, I think I read this book at a perfect time. I find the English reserve a bit off-putting and difficult to deal with after 33 years of living in America and then Australia. This book proved to me that the English can be every bit as bold and gregarious as their new world colonies.

[Rob Twinem · Rating 5 out of 5]

A celebration of the great British spirit Two young men one goal travel from Lands end to john o groats relying on the kindness of others and as an added incentive start the challenge in nothing but your union jack boxer shorts! The ground rules were simple all food, all transport all clothes must be "blagged" no money must be taken or spent..this was self sufficiency in the extreme....could it be done or was the whole idea just plain bonkers...Free Country is a super little book and the reader is privileged to travel with the boys and be part of the expedition. To me the story is not only about the endurance and spirit of two men but a celebration of the generosity of the British people. If you add to this some wonderful characters that they met along the way this is a story that will leave you with  a smile on your face. Highly Recommended 

[Evangeline · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fun premise, but I ended up bored quite a bit. And what really irked me was the guy's sense of entitlement. I would never have the brass neck to stand in a queue of paying customers and ask for the same as them but free. After ONE NIGHT in a barn these whiners decide they don't want to do that again and will ask for hotel rooms for free. A lot of people are capable of showing kindness to strangers where possible, it doesn't mean you should take advantage of their generosity and burden them when really there is no need. The scene where they sit eating with actual homeless people is particularly toe-curling, but doesn't seem to phase them in the slightest.

[K.M. Kinsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant! Inspiring, heartwarming, an absolute must-read. I am not one to rave often, but this is simply one of the most engaging, enjoyable, hilarious, and inspiring things I have read in YEARS. I am sad to have finished it in only a couple of days' time. I laughed until I cried, I drove my husband insane by wanting to read aloud to him constantly, and I finished feeling inspired. This book would be a bargain at twice the price. It's unique and wonderful. Buy it - you will not regret it!

[Renee · Rating 2 out of 5]

This started out and I thought it'd be pretty funny. I also like the premise; basically, traveling from one coast of the country to the other with no money or supplies and relying on the goodness of others to help. It could've been quite funny and interesting, but for the writer making stupid jokes and then explaining them! It got pretty boring, pretty quickly. I've decided that life is too short to continue reading a book I am not enjoying. (This got deleted from the Kindle!) Even if you get it for free... don't bother!

[Janette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely LOVED this story of George & Ben's End-to-End trip the length of Britain. It's told in a witty, sarcastic tone that gave me just the right appreciation for how difficult the adventure must have been. I also have to say it's restored a lot of my faith in humanity. With all that happens in the world today, that's no small feat. It's nice to know there are so many good people out there just trying to make it by the best they can.

[Allan van der Heiden · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rather whiny account of the author’s journey across England.

Considering he blagged his way all the time he moans regularly about the very people who assist him. Including mocking gay and old people.

The audio book was read very well with a great performance by the reader in using many different voices and accents that actually made the book slightly enjoyable.

[Jane Higginson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't a book that I would normally choose to read but I'm glad that I did as I really enjoyed it. The concept of two guys cycling from lands end to John o groats with no money and relying on the kindness of people in Britain will leave you pleasantly surprised.