My German Question: Growing Up in Nazi Berlin

by Peter Gay

In this poignant book, a renowned historian tells of his youth as an assimilated, anti-religious Jew in Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1939―“the story,” says Peter Gay, “of a poisoning and how I dealt with it.” With his customary eloquence and analytic acumen, Gay describes his family, the life they led, and the reasons they did not emigrate sooner, and he explores his own ambivalent feelings―then and now―toward Germany and the Germans.
Gay relates that the early years of the Nazi regime were relatively benign for his as a schoolboy at the Goethe Gymnasium he experienced no ridicule or attacks, his father’s business prospered, and most of the family’s non-Jewish friends remained supportive. He devised survival strategies―stamp collecting, watching soccer, and the like―that served as screens to block out the increasingly oppressive world around him. Even before the events of 1938–39, culminating in Kristallnacht, the family was convinced that they must leave the country. Gay describes the bravery and ingenuity of his father in working out this difficult emigration process, the courage of the non-Jewish friends who helped his family during their last bitter months in Germany, and the family’s mounting panic as they witnessed the indifference of other countries to their plight and that of others like themselves. Gay’s account―marked by candor, modesty, and insight―adds an important and curiously neglected perspective to the history of German Jewry.

Genres: History, Memoir, Nonfiction, World War II, Autobiography, Holocaust, Biography

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Peter Joachim Gay was a German-American historian, educator, and author. He was a Sterling Professor of History at Yale University and former director of the New York Public Library's Center for Scholars and Writers (1997–2003). He received the American Historical Association's (AHA) Award for Scholarly Distinction in 2004. He authored over 25 books, including The Enlightenment: An Interpretation, a two-volume award winner; Weimar Culture: The Outsider as Insider (1968); and the widely translated Freud: A Life for Our Time (1988).
Gay was born in Berlin in 1923, left Germany in 1939 and emigrated, via Cuba, to the United States in 1941. From 1948 to 1955 he was a political science professor at Columbia University, and then a history professor from 1955 to 1969. He left Columbia in 1969 to join Yale University's History Department as Professor of Comparative and Intellectual European History and was named Sterling Professor of History in 1984.
Gay was the interim editor of The American Scholar after the death of Hiram Haydn in 1973 and served on that magazine's editorial board for many years. Sander L. Gilman, a literary historian at Emory University, called Gay "one of the major American historians of European thought, period".

Reviews

[Paola · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is rather different from what I expected - what takes centre stage, or at least so it felt, is Gay's practicing self-analysis, with Nazi Germany in the background. For me it felt quite often as if I was arriving in the middle of a conversation that he has been having with somebody else, and I could not quite get who or what he was getting back at.

Peter Frölich (who will later change his family name to Gay) was born in Berlin, and only just managed to escape with his family before it was too late - but he was there to witness the rise of Hitler and the start of the war. Yet he was just a teenager, and relatively lucky in that his family only suffered relatively little damage while leaving in Berlin.

One of the questions he tries to address in this memoir is: how come we German Jew did not realise what was going on, why did we let them slaughter us? Yet I am not sure he addresses it that successfully: or maybe he does, but indirectly, in the sense that when the state started coming down hard on e.g. teachers in schools and universities, then on doctors, lawyers, and so on, it was still something that happened to "others", and the Frölichs were still able of living a relatively normal life. However I could not avoid thinking that very little sense of pity or solidarity came through - as long as Frölich senior could keep going, helped by the fact that his appearance did not fit the stereotype of what a Jew should look like, what happens around him seems mostly background.

This left me wondering whether Gay's revelling in his total lack of compassion for Nazis (not the lack of compassion itself, just the flaunting of it) has something to do with some deep unease at not really seeing nor understanding what was happening. Just an example:

Much of this record was en­riched and elab­o­rated to the world in the war crimes tri­als of Nürn­berg, launched soon after the sur­ren­der of the Ger­mans. Some of the ver­dicts were hard to un­der­stand: Franz von Papen, who more than any politi­cian in the dying Weimar Re­pub­lic had ma­neu­vered Hitler into power, was ac­quit­ted. Oth­ers re­ceived more ap­pro­pri­ate sen­tences; Gor­ing cheated the ex­e­cu­tioner by tak­ing poi­son, but Joachim von Ribben­trop, the for­mer cham­pagne sales­man risen to for­eign min­is­ter; Field Mar­shal Wil­helm Kei­tel, Hitler’s man in the armed forces; Al­fred Rosen­berg, the party’s most in­flu­en­tial racial the­o­rist; Hans Frank, who gov­erned oc­cu­pied Poland with ex­em­plary bru­tal­ity; Wil­helm Frick, one of Hitler’s most de­voted sup­port­ers and, as min­is­ter of the in­te­rior, re­spon­si­ble for en­forc­ing the racial laws; Arthur Seyss-In­quart, the Aus­trian Nazi who man­aged his coun­try’s An­schluss to Ger­many and dis­tin­guished him­self in his own way as gov­er­nor of the oc­cu­pied Nether­lands; Ernst Kaltenbrun­ner, an­other Aus­trian who rose to high posts in “in­ter­nal se­cu­rity”; Gen­eral Al­fred Jodl, one of Hitler’s clos­est ad­vis­ers; Fritz Sauckel, who after a long ca­reer in the party was re­spon­si­ble for slave labor; and last but by no means least, Julius Stre­icher—I have men­tioned him be­fore but I don’t mind men­tion­ing him again in this con­text—were hanged. All this gave me much sat­is­fac­tion then, as it gives me sat­is­fac­tion now to type these names. I vi­su­al­ized, and vi­su­al­ize, the noose tight­en­ing, tight­en­ing. Other lead­ing Nazis were con­demned to death in later tri­als, and the Rus­sians, with few legal scru­ples to delay them, proved ex­cep­tion­ally ef­fi­cient if not al­ways very dis­crim­i­nat­ing.

[Brian]

Absolutely fantastic book. I bought this two years ago and I'm wondering how I possibly managed to keep it on my shelf, unread, in the meantime. This would be a fantastic memoir even without the issues that he addresses. Against the backdrop of the holocaust and Gay's struggle to understand and accept his feelings about Germans and his own identity, it is gripping.

Moreover, his command of English is better than virtually any native speaker. His writing is a credit to the language and a joy to read. Anyone who wants to understand anything about modern Jewish culture, the holocaust or Germany simply must read this.

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd read Professor Gay's book, Weimar Culture, when I was in college in the 1970s. I remember it as being rich and insightful with a good deal of understanding of the cultural flowering that took place then. So, I was excited to find and be able to read his mini-autobiography on his life growing up as a boy in Berlin and his subsequent emigration with his family to Cuba and then to the United States. The question often comes up in people's minds (with the infallible benefit of hindsight) as to why Jews did not leave Germany earlier. In this book, Gay explains some of the mixed signals that were afloat that could easily lead to a sense that the worst would soon pass. And, he makes it clear that even if willing and financially able, there was still the hurdle of finding a nation willing to receive Jewish emigrants. It was quite a hurdle -- with the example of the ship St. Louis which was not allowed to offload its passengers in Cuba (or the United States) as as powerful example. Gay gives a very personal and insightful history of his life which includes his relationships with his parents and relatives, some of whom did not leave Germany in time to save their lives.

[Carmen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was written from a different perspective than most memoirs are written. Peter Gay dwells on the emotional and psychological aftermath of his childhood in Berlin. He is very clinical, and gives many facts to support his opinions.

[Jehnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm using this for my 20th C. Europe class. It is an interesting read to build on foreknowledge about Nazi Germany. But not a good read for someone without any background on the subject.

[Brittney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good memoir of how the holocaust affected people who never had to go to a concentration camp.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Peter Gay's family were secular Jews and patriotic Germans. This changed of course when Hitler came to power in 1933. Living in Berlin, they got to see the changes early and often. They knew they had to leave but it wasn't until Kristallnacht that it became imperative. Unlike many memoirs, Peter and his family made it out -- just barely -- to the U.S. Not only was this interesting about this time period, but it was also interesting hearing how his parents and he fared starting over in a new country with a new language (and their sojourn in Cuba before making it to the U.S.). As with so many others, it was easier for the young than it was for their parents.

[Briana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a collage class on the Holocaust, he gives a different perspective on the Holocaust and WWII. I would of liked more of him in Germany after the war and more perspective on his experiences there.

[Elio Lerner · Rating 5 out of 5]

interesting and well written

Peter Gay expresses himself very well. He gives you in this book a rough idea of the holocaust but exhausts his feelings when living under nazi germany and how it affected his life in America

[Jocelyn Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fine historian. Many good books. Read it with Not I, by Joachim Fest.

[James Bonney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!

Enjoyed it immensely!
Enjoyed all the personal and historic events!
He has a firm command of the historical happenings of the horrific days in Germany.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this memoir and I didn't like it. Gay's writing is annoying - too much psychoanalytic voodoo - although, having read a couple dozen holocaust memoirs, I understand why, decades later, he hates the Germans and is unable to be cool, calm, and collected about what he experienced in boyhood. Also, I had zero interest in his life after escaping from Germany just in the nick of time, and so the second half of this slender book was a bore. But his memories of the good life in Berlin, pleasures that dwindled down to a precious few as the 30s unfolded, and the difficulties obtaining visas, once his father finally made the decision to leave, were riveting.

And then, safe on American soil, Gay changed his name. Undoubtedly, his Berlin experience had shown him that it was prudent to extinguish his Jewish and German identity in order to avoid discrimination in America. Curiously, Gay mentioned several times that his father didn't look Jewish, a statement that meant ... what? Mulling it over, it occurred to me that maybe Gay thought that not looking Jewish was evidence that he was not really a Jew, and therefore he and his family should be exempt from the wrath brought upon the Jews by the Nazi regime. I wonder whether if Gay had been Aryan, would he have been in that minority of Good Germans who helped the Jews go into hiding and/or flee the country or would he have behaved like most German citizens did, who knew how dangerous it was to offer help, and done nothing.

Gay is also furious at America and England and etal for not increasing the number of visas they issued. After Kristallnacht in Nov 1938, the Jews, finally, after 6 years of the Nazis tightening the noose, now wanted to emigrate. But reality intrudes. Of the 5 to 6 million who were murdered by the Nazis during the Holocaust that began in 1942, how many of them could America have absorbed? Wasn't it really the responsibility of the Jews, with the help of their friends, to leave Germany while the exit doors were open? In Sep 1935 the Nuremberg Laws stripped the Jews of their German citizenship and civil rights. Wasn't it clear at this relatively early date that it was time for the Jews to banish all hope of Hitler's overthrow and leave? Those who did leave before 1936 did so with most of their wealth intact, making it easier to begin anew abroad, unlike those who left Germany virtually penniless after Kristallnacht. By the end of 1939, 347K of the 537K Jews in Germany in 1933 had emigrated, including Gay's family in 1939. Of course, it's easy for me to say, at a distance of 70 years, what they should have done, and I do understand how excruciatingly difficult it was - how tight were the ties that bind - for all but the young Jews to actually leave.

Despite my criticisms, Gay's story is recommended reading. There are lessons to be learned. History does repeat itself. What happened then in Germany COULD happen tomorrow in America.

[Ensiform · Rating 2 out of 5]

The eminent historian of Freud and the Enlightenment tells, in this slim memoir, of his childhood years in the nascent Third Reich. It is interesting for a few reasons which may not be Gay’s own intent. First, he and his family were relatively untouched by the Nazi regime. Yes, they were humiliated, expelled from schools, forced to resign from jobs, witnessed many crimes against Jews. But individually, they didn’t suffer much, not even daily taunts or abuse at school. This is due in large part to Gay’s father’s amazing efforts at subterfuge which got them into Havana before the mass murders began; but it’s also thanks to lenient treatment at the hands of teachers and others in positions of power.

Second, Gay mentions --- almost incidentally --- some very shameful acts on the part of the US government, such as banning Jews from the Olympic team in Berlin, or refusing entry to misused refugees. Third, despite Gay’s education, and presumably rational outlook, he has a hard time restraining his rage at Nazi sympathizers and indeed, more unfairly, all Germany. On the whole, it’s a fairly uninteresting book, given the tumultuous era; Gay’s self-analysis is surprisingly crude, considering his many books on Freud; and his life story is fairly interesting, but surely many other refugees have more to say of more import than this.

[Nef Apps]

At first very slow reading, but likely my fault as I've been reading light page turners of late. This being a memoir and a difficult one it took me a while to get into the style and rhythm. The author has mastered the English language and if you don't have a far better vocabulary than I do, well then you will need to tote your dictionary along with the book as every page had a new word to me.

The underlying subject being Berlin under the Nazis' is startling and frighteningly see through the eyes of a German adolescent boy.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a memoir of noted historian Peter Gay who lived under Hitler as a designated Jew. He wrestles with his ambivalent feelings toward Germany. It's a very angry book and could be difficult to read for some. He is also a big fan of Freud and psychoanalyzes himself, which I very much disliked. I would give this one 3.5.

[Chris Cutter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Out of this entire book, I felt maybe 3 of the chapters actually talked about the book subject matter. The rest was psychoanalysis and post war issues like getting his dissertation published. The 3 chapters were good enough though that I felt ok about rating this 3 stars, next time my professor should assign another book.

[Daniel]

I thought it was a bit too meta for my liking

[Havva · Rating 2 out of 5]

Memoir by a psychoanalyst. 'nuff said.

[Keith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Involving, personal memoir of growing up in Nazi Berlin as a non-practicing Jew. He shares his emotions and how he coped. His family barely made it out in 1939 just before the war. Worthwhile.

[Martha Anne Toll]

Commentary on this book in The Millions http://www.themillions.com/2016/10/wh...

[Peyton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another good Holocaust narrative.