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Pledged - Secret Life Of Sororities

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This New York Times bestseller is a fast-paced, behind-the-scenes book that blows the lid off the intriguing world of mainstream sorority life.

Alexandra Robbins wanted to find out if the stereotypes about sorority girls were actually true, so she spent a year with a group of girls in a typical sorority. The sordid behavior of sorority girls exceeded her worst expectations -- drugs, psychological abuse, extreme promiscuity, racism, violence, and rampant eating disorders are just a few of the problems. But even more surprising was the fact that these abuses were inflicted and endured by intelligent, successful, and attractive women.

Why is the desire to belong to a sorority so powerful that women are willing to engage in this type of behavior -- specially when the women involved are supposed to be considered "sisters"? What definition of sisterhood do many women embrace? Pledged combines a sharp-eyed narrative with extensive reporting and the fly-on-the-wall.

370 pages, Paperback

First published April 14, 2004

176 people are currently reading
3534 people want to read

About the author

Alexandra Robbins

18 books582 followers
* 2023: New book! THE TEACHERS: A Year Inside America's Most Vulnerable, Important Profession *

The author of five New York Times bestselling books and a Goodreads Best Nonfiction Book of the Year, Alexandra Robbins is an award-winning journalist and speaker who writes nonfiction books in the style of fast-paced beach reads. Reviewers have called her smart, entertaining prose "poolside nonfiction."

Her latest book, THE TEACHERS, follows three teachers behind-the-scenes for a year and includes investigations based on interviews with hundreds of teachers across the country. THE TEACHERS has received starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Kirkus Reviews, is one of Yahoo!'s and The Week's "6 Highly Anticipated Books" for Spring 2023, a "Must Read of 2023" according to the Next Big Idea Club, one of Kirkus's "8 Most Buzzworthy Books Right Now," and a “Most Anticipated Book of 2023” by Literary Hub, The Next Big Idea Club, Kirkus, Zibby Books, and Professional Book Nerds.

Robbins is “an excellent stylist and a first-rate mind” (Houston Chronicle) whose writing style is “highly addictive” (Philadelphia Inquirer) and who “has a gift for writing fact like fiction” (Kirkus Reviews). She has also been honored with a "Distinguished Service to Public Education" award.

Robbins' books have been a New York Times Editors' Choice, People Magazine's Critic's Choice, a Books for a Better Life Award winner, and a Goodreads Best Nonfiction Book of the Year. She writes for publications such as The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and Forbes. She has appeared on a wide variety of national television shows such as "60 Minutes," "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "The Today Show," "The View," "The Colbert Report" and "Anderson Cooper 360."

You can find her on Twitter at @AlexndraRobbins, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/AuthorAlexan..., on Instagram and TikTok at @authorAlexandraRobbins, and visit her website alexandrarobbins.com for more information.”

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 877 reviews
Profile Image for Petra X.
2,456 reviews35.5k followers
August 15, 2016
The new tribes of America. Complete with initiation rites and codes of behaviour. In Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind and Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging both Yuval and Junger romanticise the togetherness, warmth and happiness of belonging to a tribe where food is easy to find and work is accomplished in a few hours. The downside was the brutality of punishment towards those who contravened the social codes and uppity outsiders who were sneered at, at best, and ... at worst.

Is this the modern interpretation? Do Americans send their kids to college to join a sorority or fraternity that they will pledge allegiance to for all eternity and feel good that they have been inducted into adult life As We Know It? Better still if they join the same one as their parents whilst attending their Alma Mater. Do they remember the hazing, drinking and casual sex as fondly as that certainty they were Fitting In and Making the Right Contacts? Is this what they save up for 18 years for, to fund their children's tribal lives?

And for those too poor, too ethnic , too geeky or just plain not interested, what do they do? Form a tribe of outsiders perpetually looking in, Dalits when it comes to parties and the secret handshake of employment opportunities? Or are they the majority, the kids who just go to get a degree, work their way through school and leave with friends they got drunk at the Uni bar with every Sat. night?

Not being an American, I can't answer that.

Read in 2007, reviewed in 2016
Profile Image for Petra X.
2,456 reviews35.5k followers
July 10, 2018
Yesterday I was looking at the author's site and noticed that this book was not marked as read by me and I knew I'd read it. I couldn't find it on my shelves. So I looked at an old shelf export and there it was. So I added it again. It didn't say read twice. Today a friend sent me a link to my original review. There it was, but didn't say read twice although since I added it again it should have. It still doesn't. And now there are two editions on my shelves. This is really, really odd.
_________________

I read this in June 2008, today I looked on my shelves and it was gone, but it was on my shelf export of July 27th, 2009. What could have happened to it? Luckily I hadn't reviewed it as I would have been really upset to lose (yet another) review. Why do Goodreads never take it seriously that so many books and reviews disappear? Why is it always 'write to Support' and that's it. I guess there's just no money in bothering to investigate this problem.
Profile Image for Kristie Damell.
16 reviews3 followers
October 16, 2007
As a past chapter President and current Greek advisor at a college, my expectations of this book were exceedingly high. The women in the sorority I advise all read it and passed it along to me. I was hoping they might learn some valuable lessons about hazing and the consequences of taking part in hazing related activities. Unfortunately, this book primarily focused on the day-to-day lives of four sorority women. While I can say with certainty that the things in this book do happen in sororities, her description of sorority life is concentrated on one specific type of college ethos. What was described in this book was nothing similar to what I experienced as an undergraduate or to what the women I advise experience. And while she does include a foreword defending her book and explaining her position, I was still disappointed with the writing and the aspects of "sorority life" she chose to focus on.

The never-ending dialogue got old and repetitive. Her insistence on glorifying certain types of organizations over others seemed based on speculation. I can appreciate her attempt to uncover the sometimes unorthodox rituals of sorority life, the petty, caddy conversations, and the substance abuse. However, I would have preferred to read a sorority book based on pure fiction or a dissertation based on well-rounded research and statistics from a variety of collegiate environments, from large state schools to private liberal arts schools. To the average reader with little knowledge of fraternity and sorority life, this book will ingrain in them an image and stereotype that is not always accurate.
Profile Image for Jordan A. A..
73 reviews
May 8, 2015
This book was not smart enough for me to get behind the author's arguments. Not having been in a sorority for the beginning of college and then joining one after transferring schools, I felt that the author had a definite bias in her "reporting" even though she presented it as though she was without. She greatly missed the fact that binge drinking, casual sex and a disinterest in philanthropy is a cultural phenomenon and one of the college age group. Her criticism of sorority members neglected to criticize the same behavior of non-affiliated students which I have experienced from both sides, her constant discussion of meanness happens in all types of environments. I particularly disliked how she ended her book with her prescription for what Greek organizations need to do to fit her viewpoint. I also disliked that she didn't represent any members that aren't solely interested in drinking, partying and finding boyfriends which I know exist having been a member of one of the national sororities she discussed. I also didn't like how she so carelessly printed the rituals and symbols of different chapters. Even though that information is irrelevant to her, some people hold that dear and if she truly embraces diversity in culture she should respect the traditions of others much like I respect all different expressions of faith. A lot of her distaste for Southern chapters signifies symptoms of the South, not every chapter of the national sorority, leading me to believe that Robbins doesn't understand that our country, while one nation, has geographic areas with great difference in belief and history when it comes to issues of race, sexual orientation, and religion. If Robbins would have done more research and published a work that was a scholarly discussion of what a Greek organization can accomplish for the good and its detriments, I may have been interested but instead I found it to be a cheap piece of writing looking to make money at the expense of others.
Profile Image for Ashley.
29 reviews1 follower
January 27, 2009
I went to a college in the South and was a member of a National Sorority all four years I was in school. Let's just say I did not have the same experiences that Robbins describes in her book.

First of all, my sorority had very strict rules on hazing. We were not even allowed to let our new members go on a fun camping retreat to get to know one another because it was considered "hazing" if all sisters did not participate. That being said, my experiences before I was intiated were filled with free lunches, dinners, and gifts. I was not made to do any demeaning acts ("hazing") that many people may associate with being in a sorority.

My sorority was predominantly white but we had several African American members (keep in mind I did say my sorority was in the South) and those members actually got teased by the African American sororities for joining with the "white" sorority (talk about reverse racism).

I will admit there was some underage binge drinking but seriously, the majority of college students will participate in binge drinking whether they are in the Greek system or not and I know this for a fact as I did have non-Greek friends. I could say the same for the number of girls in my sorority who chose to have sex--probably about the same number as non-Greek college girls. No sister in my sorority was forced or pressured into drinking, doing drugs or doing anything sexual--ever.

I do think the fact that I went to a small, private school for college did have some effect on my sorority experiences but I was still not all that shocked by Robbins' observations of sorority life. I mean they are pretty common generalizations that most people have about sororities. Nevermind the fact that they are not always true (as in my case) which is evident throughout the book with her lack of research. The book is selective journalism at best and it made me angry that people may read this and get the wrong impression of sororities. There are two sides to every coin. Not all sororities are bad!
Profile Image for Lani.
789 reviews43 followers
October 30, 2007
I have a love/hate relationship with everything Alexandra Robbins writes. She is a total sensationalist and I feel a bit guilty every time I pick up one of her books. But... they're always very fun. I found this one more amusing than some others because it seemed so unabashedly self-centered. It really seemed like the author just wanted to join a sorority and wanted to make sure we all knew that she could still do it - AND pass for a college girl!

Read anything by Robbins with a GIGANTIC GRAIN OF SALT. There is no doubt in my mind that she often manipulates facts for the sake of continuity and shock value. That being said, I enjoy the portrayals of her characters (and they ARE characters, despite this book being theoretically non-fiction)... and I do recognize some truth in many of these women.

Never having been in a sorority, I can't speak much about how true her experiences are. But simply as a college girl I certainly experienced similar pressures and issues - either myself or with friends or hallmates. Stereotypes and caricatures exist for a reason, and they are covered in abundance in this book. Eating disorders, binge drinking, bad boys, terrible decisions, sisterhood, bitches, discrimination, and every other aspect of college experience are REAL, though hardly limited to pretty white blonde sorority girls.

The book was interesting, and I really enjoyed it. If you aren't willing to suspend some disbelief and just read the book however, I can CERTAINLY see why so many people objected to it.
209 reviews46 followers
September 7, 2019
If you've never been in a sorority, this book's information will be intriguing, even shocking. If you HAVE been in a sorority, you will either be nodding your head in agreement, or angered that the bright happy outside face of Greek Life is being sullied.

Here's some of what I learned from this book:

1) Sororities have much higher incidences of binge drinkers, habitual drinkers, and drug users than the general college population. Drinking especially is encouraged and at some times even required.
2) Many sororities are so invested in presenting a certain image that they only recruit girls who look similar (even down to hair color), and they are against diversity to the extent that it becomes racism.
3) Weight and looks are extremely important, with public weigh ins and being forced to strip and to have sisters (and in some cases even fraternity brothers) circle areas of fat with black magic marker.
4) Date rape is not uncommon between fraternity brothers and sorority sisters, and pressure is applied to sisters to not report it, because it would damage the Greek image.
5) Sorority meetings are requirements, to the extent that students miss important family events and even class/labs/tests—yet most of the meetings are pointless rituals or busy work or social functions/parties.
6) Girls have been seriously injured and even died in Rush hazing activities.

And yet...

1) Sorority members are more likely to graduate from college than the general college population.
2) Sorority members on average have a higher GPA.
3) In some parts of the country a sorority membership is still considered one of the most important “life defining tags” a girl can have. It can open up opportunities and provide connections.
4) Girls can have a feeling of belonging that helps them throughout college.
5) Lifelong friends can be made.
6) Some report that their sorority membership was not only the most important part of college, but the most important connection of their lives.

I found parts of this book to be terrifying. Some of the rituals that they put new pledges through are horrifying. The power that sororities exercise over their members is unreal. And yet parts of it sounded really fun, really appealing. It seems like something that could be changed—keep the good and get rid of the bad. Regardless it was a great read!
Profile Image for Katie.
186 reviews59 followers
June 18, 2008
An interesting investigative report on life in historically white sororities in the 2000's South. Having been denied access to sororities by their national offices, in the wake of MTV's expose, the young (thin, pretty) Robbins accompanied four young women undercover through for one academic year, at the risk of their being disaffiliated. She does not disclose the location or name of the university (although it is in a warm climate) or the sororities. She says that she deliberately chose ordinary sororities with good reputations and ordinary members to represent them.

The result is revealing. It confirms my own decision not to join a sorority back in the '80s, if only because the students seem to spend most of their time drinking, buying clothes, finding dates, having sex, arguing, and drinking. I was not surprised that selection, ranking, and overall valuing of members is based partly on appearance, but was surprised that family income is so blatantly important.

The book moves along at a fairly good clip, sometimes dragging a little through accounts of endless drunken parties and dances. More interesting are the times the sisters spend together NOT drinking, or not mostly drinking, but talking while they do each other's hair, comforting each other over a break-up or a failure, celebrating a success, complaining or planning.

The most interesting parts of the book are the ancillary interviews with alumnae from chapters at other colleges, the chapter on historically black sororities (which contains a few brief paragraphs on Hispanic sororities), and the bits about independent groups such as coed frats. Robbins does an excellent job of exposing the racism in the women's Greek system in the South, although she could write more about the North and West.

The most valuable part of the book is the final chapter, in which Robbins recommends ways to improve historically white sorority life. For example, she strongly suggests that sororities eliminate rush (the whirlwind ritual in which hopefuls visit all the chapters for a few mintues at a time, rather like speed dating) in favor of a more sensible visiting and application process. She points out that the white organizations are basically social groups, not service groups, and questions why they merit special support from colleges: Colleges are within their rights to make demands on them and to revoke their support if demands are not met. Robbins also notes that white sororities are not really women's groups as long as most of their activities are centered around dating, fraternity mixers, and balls--that is, around men. She answers all her criticisms with ideas for change.

Having described a number of frightening instances of physical, sexual and mental hazing dating back to the 1970's (including two at the university where my father taught), Robbins shows how the sororities' national governing body, by discouraging hazing but failing to define it, managed to drive it underground in some chapters while simply weakening the group bonding process in others. She challenges the national body to define hazing outright and then to ban it, while instituting positive group-building methods.

The book could be improved. For example, the treatment of historically black sororities is too brief, although the main purpose of the book is an undercover report on white sororities (Robbins is white). One of her four main "interviewees" is black, and she displays little understanding of the challenges a young black woman faces in a group of rich, overprivileged white women.

Throughout the book, Robbins refers to her subjects as "girls," while she calls their fraternity counterparts "men" about half the time. This grated on my nerves. When I moved to Texas I was struck by the fact that university sports were divided into "men's" teams and "girls'" teams. Nomenclature is a small point, but it is not trivial. It reflects the overall status of persons. College males have historically been called men, while females have been called girls--unless they were married. Age did not enter into it.

I doubt that women who love their sororities will be at all happy with this book, except, perhaps, for some of the recommendations in the last chapter. Certainly the fact that Robbins was forced to go undercover made it a very different report than it would have been had she had open access, with sisters, advisors, consultants and university administrators knowing who she was, providing interviews, offering information, and engaging her on various levels. Instead of treating investigators like Robbins as partners in reform--reform of a system in which young women abuse alcohol, vomit so frequently they damage the plumbing, get raped, and die--they circle the wagons. Outsiders are left wondering what sororities are hiding.

Robbins is, after all, calling for reform of the system, not for getting rid of it. She finds something of value in it: groups in which young women find a niche, friends, a place to fit in. She hopes to make it a better, safer place for more women, one with less racism, hostility, and danger.

Those in charge might learn from NASA, whose media policy, after the disaster of the Apollo 1 coverup, changed from secrecy to "When things are going well, tell the media everything they want to know. When things are going badly, tell them more."
Profile Image for Felicia.
Author 45 books127k followers
October 7, 2013
So...I went to a school that was very sorority heavy, and always stared at the girls like, "Wow, why would you want to do that?" This book aims to be balanced, but I dunno why any human would want their daughter joining one after reading this. Talk about conformity and marginalization in institutions. This was so frightening to me to read, and fascinating at the same time. Highly recommended for the curious.
Profile Image for Stewart Tame.
2,453 reviews116 followers
September 28, 2021
I vaguely recall that there was some sort of controversy back when this was published. Possibly it was mild. Sixteen years after the fact, I'm understandably hazy on the details. Still, the promise of at least mild scandal coupled with the low price point ($1 at a yard sale) prompted me to buy this.

I never had any interest in the Greek system at college. I knew there were fraternities and sororities on campus, but I never had the slightest interest in pledging. None of my friends, as best I can recall, joined them either. It just wasn't part of our world.

Reading this book, and extrapolating from sororities to fraternities, it would seem that I didn't miss much. Despite pushback from members of the Greek community, Robbins provides a revealing look at the then-current state of college sorority life (circa 2004) that seems fair and balanced. She points out shortcomings, but also strengths. The final part of the book offers suggestions on how the system might change to better serve the needs of the average sorority member as well as the community at large.

In the end, it was a fascinating look at an aspect of college life that, as I said, wasn't part of my own experience. I don't think I missed anything crucial. Recommended!
Profile Image for Doug.
38 reviews7 followers
March 24, 2007
What this book is about in fewer words than this sentence:
Every rumor you've ever heard about sororities are true.

What I learned from this book:
All rich, popular white girls are exactly the same.
Sorority stereotypes are true.
Women tend to treat each other like shit.
College students make boring subject matter.
Profile Image for Danica.
19 reviews
March 1, 2008
I was actually really excited to read this book. I was in a sorority and was never hazed, none of the crazy stuff that people say happen in sororities never happened on my campus. It's not that we were a small campus or even small chapters of our organizations, our school simply did not allow it and there were plenty of organizations that were thrown off of campus for hazing and other things. I got about 1/2 way through this book, and was just plain bored! There was nothing really happening that was out of the ordinary. Just like following around any other college student.

Also, following a few girls all from the same school does not give you a good perspective of what sorority life really is! I found some of the parts offensive and biased. How can you compare every sorority sister in America to a few girls from one or two locations?? How can you say that a sorority girl is more likely to be raped because she goes to frat parties?? There are plenty of non-Greek girls at frat parties and there are plenty of parties that non-Greeks and Greeks go to that have no Greek affiliation what so ever! Any young college girl has to watch out and be careful Greek or not!
Profile Image for Carly.
862 reviews11 followers
November 21, 2009
Since Robbins attempts to portray her novel about sorority life as research, I will treat it as such. This review is how I would critique any written piece claiming to be research. Lucky for me I’m taking two classes this semester dealing specifically with proper research procedures.

1. Lack of Randomization. Robbins follows around four sorority girls. Four, out of thousands in the country. Although Robbins has reasons that she cannot follow more girls (prohibited by most national sororities and kicked off of a few campuses), this does not mean that her sample of 4 girls (all at one university, three in the same sorority) can be generalized to sorority life across the country. It cannot even be generalized to their university, let alone their sorority specifically. Right here, this point, delegitimizes her entire book as a valid research. But of course, that is not what Robbins is after, she is a journalist, a writer. Her goal is to sell books. If she wanted to do research, she would likely work in the background at a university, not parading around as a nineteen year old (something she proudly admits in the introduction as something not all people in their late twenties can do). Furthermore, perhaps four girls who allow themselves to be selected for such a project agree to participate because there is something they don’t like about the sorority. Unknown.
2. Data acquisition. I have issues with her methods. I don’t really mind that she went undercover, I think interesting things can come from it. But at what intervals did she interview her subjects? Were they equal intervals? How many times did she contact them? I don’t know, because she doesn’t tell us. (BIG no-no in research studies.) She does tell us that the girls would contact her when they were upset. It is any wonder, then, that the information she got from them was damaging to the sorority? When I’m upset about something, I turn to who I think I will get the most sympathy from…if these girls were upset about something in their sorority, and they happen to be part of a ‘research’ project about sororities, it makes sense that is when they would talk to Robbins. But when something was going great, perhaps they chose to celebrate with their sisters, or simply didn’t think to tell Robbins. We don’t know, because Robbins doesn’t tell us. Once again sacrificing legitimate research techniques to create a sensational best-seller.
3. Experimenter/Researcher Bias. Although Robbins claims she set out to write a ‘truthful’ book about sorority life, I have to challenge that a bit. She seems to be out to show what she deems historically white Greek organizations as the worst thing a girl could be a part of. She glosses over the positives that Greek life might bring (like service and philanthropy) to dictate that every sorority girl drinks, is loose, and likely doing drugs. To not be accused of my own bias, these are her words, “The blondes, the super-thin, the rich, the promiscuous, and the girls who smoke marijuana are separated and recognized as being distinctive, nonoverlapping groups.” (116) Basically, you can find whatever you want. If you want to see thin, party girls in a sorority, they are there. If you want to see the student body president or girl who’s working to pay her way through college, you can find that as well.

Going back to issue number one—inability to be generalized—I didn’t find that I could relate to many of the situations these girls found themselves in. Several chapters were dedicated to hazing (and implying that every organization hazes), but I was not hazed. Does that mean it doesn’t happen? No, because I, unlike Robbins, cannot speak for every person in Greek life. I also was not lied to during the pledge process, nor do I feel I was judged based on my wallet or really my looks (anyone who knows me knows I lack all form of style—this was deep into my toe sock phase). I was never pressured not to study in order to party, and remember the house having several study nights. But that’s just me.

I knew that I could not have an opinion on this book without reading it, and I encourage you to do the same. Don’t take my word for it, whether you are pro or anti Greek. But you should take into consideration what I feel to be fallacies in her logic.
Profile Image for N. N. Santiago.
118 reviews3 followers
February 7, 2017
OK, so as someone who is not the paranoid mother of a college-bound daughter I am not the target audience of Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities. Still, this is an area that I do not have much exposure to, and I'm always curious to learn about sub-cultures and new worlds. I shared this ignorance of sororities with the author, who knew little of them before deciding to research and write the book. The blurb has her writing for the New Yorker and Vanity Fair, amongst many others (more on that later), so I hoped this would have just the right mix of intelligent and gossipy journalism appropriate to the subject.

The book is structured around the experience over one year of four protagonists. They are given pseudonyms and changed identifying details to protect their anonymity, since Robbins had to go undercover as no sorority would allow her in, wary of the bad press they had been receiving from the then-current MTV sorority show and other reports of hazing deaths.

As a result these four girls (as Robbins points out all Greeks refer to themselves and each other) never come across as fully-formed people, which when much of the book covers the soap-opera of their lives in excruciating detail, makes too much of the book just that.

After a hundred or so pages Robbins finally drops in some sociology, and studies and quotes pop up every now and again, though it never quite feels enough. Pledged misses an introduction to the development of sororities in the US, though since the Black and Latina sororities are given one it would imply that Robbins' intended reader already knows about their own white ones.

The writing style starts off quite clunky and overly descriptive, but mellows slightly. While too much of the book consists of thinly drawn characters arguing with each other, there are at least a few interesting nuggets, like the frequency with which plumbers are called to fix pipes either blocked up or badly corroded from the amount of vomit bulemically chucked down them, or the use of the infamous 'brown-paper bag test' at some Black sororities.

In the last few pages, there is an intense amount of self-promotion which provides some of the best laughs of the book. The reader is exhorted to visit Alexandra Robbins' website multiple times, whether to get updates on the girls (not there), get links to her other books, or contact her for talks. The last page has an exhaustive list of her media exploits underneath a large photo of the author heavily made-up, with highlighted hair and a plunging neckline. After her self-description as the dumpy, gawky girl to shy and uncool to ever be part of the mean girls whom she imagined to make up the main share of sorority girls it is slightly jarring, the only possible previous hint being her quiet brag regarding her undercover exploits: "suffice it to say, I can pass for nineteen."
Profile Image for Kaitlyn.
54 reviews
July 27, 2007
I heard about this book last year in one of my courses at school. Most of my lectures had involved women who were active members of our campus sororities. Some days I did not think much of them especially when I felt like they were expressing feminist view points and then in actions contradicted them entirely. I liked that Robbins discussed sororities and the relationship between sororities and feminist ideals. I certainly don’t see them going hand in hand but it doesn’t appear Robbins does either. This book didn’t really change my mind to much about sororities but it certainly informed my understanding and I believe gave me a more well-rounded opinion. What surprised me was the drug use. Certainly Robbins has proven that there are “Legally Blonde” sororities out there but there are others that really break the predominately white sorority’s stereotypes. I think it was important that Robbins discussed the roles that race, class and economic status played when it came to both Sorority and Greek life. By examining this Robbins addressed some underlying issues that women today have with sororities. My university doesn’t seem to be dominated by Greek life, rather I view them as a minority on campus. Robbins ideas for combating bad images and exclusivity that was bread in the sororities she visited were practical and could be used in universities without Greek life but did have issues with exclusive feeling groups
Profile Image for Lynn.
269 reviews8 followers
June 28, 2008
I have a love/hate relationship with this book, but my biggest word of warning is that it needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

The book follows the lives of four sorority girls, their personal lives, and their personal choices. By the end of the story we still don't know these girls well - partially because anything that would characterize them as themselves is hidden or diluted. I still don't know what kind of women these are, would I be friends with them, would I trust them? I don't know.

Of course, while we've heard horror stories of sororities and fraternities both in books and the newspapers, it's generally accepted that the sensationalized stories of hazing get far more attention than the good works of many university greek systems. It needs to be understood that these are select stories and these types of things don't happen everywhere - even in "southern sororities" which the author seems fond of picking on in particular.

That said, I though it was a fantastic read - absolutely enthralling and shocking. The author does a great job of completely drowning herself in the college culture that she describes so well. I loved it as a novel, hated it as "journalistic fiction."
Profile Image for Christine.
7,181 reviews561 followers
December 11, 2013
Full review at Booklikes


This book is supposedly shines the light on sororities and will tell . . . pretty much what you already know. It follows four girls, and to find out what happens to the girls is the only reason to read this book. The revelations that are made are common of all college students for the most part, and for those that aren’t lack depth.
Profile Image for Casey.
300 reviews115 followers
May 31, 2013
Spoiler alert: this book expresses mostly negative opinions about Greek life. If you're a former sister looking for a book that's the journalistic equivalent of Leslie Gore's hit song "Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows," maybe you should just call up your old sorority friends and talk about how awesome you guys all were together. But that sisterly Kumbaya shtick doesn't sell books (which you might have learned in your Business 101 class, if you hadn't skipped it to play vodka pong), so don't expect to be praised in this one.

Anyway, this book talks about sorority girls. As a feminist, I balk at the term "girl" used for grown women, even if these grown women are making incredibly childish decisions. For a year, journalist Alexandra Robbins went undercover at two different (unidentified) sororities at an (unnamed) State University. She tells the stories of four young women in sororities, each of whom had mixed experiences in the sisterhood.

In college, I had limited contact with women who had pledged sororities. In my mind, they existed in a benignly inane orbit around the University, the pillar of knowledge that held my universe together (you know, because of the awesome force of knowledge gravity. Sorry, I'm bad at similes today.). The only greek letters I associate with myself are Phi Beta Kappa (nerds represent!). In general, I found that sorority members were perfectly lovely one-on-one, but weren't great to associate with in larger numbers.

My major issue with sororities was the massive, systematized cheating, which was largely ignored by the university (and the Communication Department, which was widely known to be the easy "sorority major"). Sororities held file drawers full of tests, which they passed out to their sisters (to the detriment of anyone else in the course). I was shocked by their lack of respect for higher education: I'd expect this sort of thing at a second-tier regional state school, but I went to a public ivy.

There are many "scandalous" behaviors discussed in the book, but none are surprising. NEWSFLASH: college students binge drink, have sex, and smoke weed. I could tell a bunch of shocking stories about college, and I spent most of my time at the library (I won't, though, because this is the internet). More interesting were the weird rituals associated with being greek, like "serenades" (entire fraternities court entire sororities by singing slutified versions of terrible pop songs to each other) and rush. Sorority life seems to consist of endless meetings and lots of parties with fraternities. Learning is clearly not a priority.

Sororities have the air of upper-crust societies, but the women don't seem to participate in many cultural activities. Philanthropy is supposed to be important, but "service" mostly means playing drunken volleyball games. Other activities range from the patently bourgeois (e.g., conspicuous consumption of logo-laden designer duds) to the surprisingly trashy (e.g., Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville). These ladies aren't reading experimental fiction and hitting up student art shows. Within the post-collegiate social hierarchy, they're the trophy wives of the parvenus of tomorrow.

Young women: I urge you to get involved at your university, but don't do it by jello wrestling your "sister" at a frat party. Instead, try to find opportunities for undergraduate research. Attend arts programs and special lectures. Take advantage of the wide range of courses offered, and try to actually study for them*. College is one of few times in life where you can focus on your own education. Don't squander it.

And really, don't drink any blue drinks. Just trust me on that one.

*Because you've read this far, here's my verified, effective method to get an A in any course you take: attend class. Read the books (and any supplementary materials) as they're assigned. Do all assigned work. Attend office hours if anything isn't clear. There you go.
Profile Image for melissa.
126 reviews31 followers
March 16, 2007
I didn't do the college thing, instead choosing the School of Life and Hard Knocks. Hey, what you can't learn through watching Jeopardy! you don't need to know. (okay, maybe not. I am taking classes now.) But since my "sorority" during the post-high school years were my stoner buddies, reading this book provided insight on what I missed out on. I'll use "missed" lightly. Oh my god this is horrible! Shit, more debauchery in here than I saw in the dimly-lit bathroom of any gay bar. And marking flaws on your naked sisters with a Sharpie? No, thanks. To be fair, I do owe my existence to the Greek system as my mom was in a sorority and my dad in a fraternity and they met at a mixer. That's about as much as I care to be involved in this type of activity.
Profile Image for Eh?Eh!.
392 reviews4 followers
September 15, 2009
First saw this book at the store. First heard about this book years back while walking to class behind a couple sorority girls who were disdainful of the author for being "totally uncool" to "spy" on the sororities...my favorite was when one of them said "did you see her picture in the back? she's not that pretty." I don't think they read it. The Greek system is not portrayed as being bad - as with anything, certain elements concentrated in particular chapters or even a single class year sucked and made everyone else appear terrible. Describes herd mentality, the pressure to fit in, how personal morals are bent in the face of general approval. Of course, there is positive with the Greekie people, but that doesn't sell as many books.
Profile Image for Jacqueline115.
304 reviews
March 29, 2009
Okay.....it was not a book I truly enjoyed. the author went undercover for a year but is that sufficient? From my experience of belonging to a local sorority, I was disappointed that everything written was negative. No positive stories were published about the bond among sisterhood, nothing about doing good deeds through community service, nothing about greek sports on campus. Nothing about what happens to women post-college. I remain in touch with many of my sisters and served as an officer for the alumni association. The author really has no clue and repeated a lot of the same information in other chapters.
Profile Image for Olivia Stephenson.
39 reviews2 followers
Read
June 1, 2024
Tell me why I read this as a like ten year old?? I do not know why but I do know I ate it up. I should read this again to see how it holds up! Another book I read recently (Come and Get It by Kiley Reid, if you're curious) reminded me of this book and then I discovered I had not logged or reviewed this one. Also wild to me that I read this and then heavily considered joining a sorority in college lol
Profile Image for Kyra.
295 reviews
June 6, 2016
There were points in this book where I was completely tracking with Robbins and where she was coming from -- after all, I had lived it. I could predict what she would address before she began speaking about it. Other times, I was furious with her: For portraying Greek Life in such a way that ran counter to everything I've ever experienced, for definitively confirming stereotypes I had never seen exist, and for ending on such a condemnation of a system I'm not sure she ever fully understood. I reached the conclusion that maybe she needed to visit chapters in other parts of the country, because her portrayal was so vastly different than the system I've encountered.

While I could write a long diatribe on everything Robbins got wrong, the frustrating and infuriating elements where I wanted to vocalize the extent of how incorrect Robbins was, it would take too long and too many characters to write out. Let me then, instead, simply dictate that this piece delves too far into sensationalism to be taken as as a serious depiction of this "secret, sordid underbelly" of sorority life. As far as I am concerned, it does not have one. Taken from the perspective of a woman who seems a bit too proud to have not been Greek in college and as the work is 12 years old at the time of this review, it does not seem to have the promoted accuracy or relevance. This may further be harmed by the limited scope of the ethnography- Robbins utilizes a few girls to reach her conclusions, far too few to reach the generalizations that she does.

Therefore, I would like to counter the claim made both implicitly and explicitly within the group- that Greek Life is a dangerous, purely social organization. This claim, dear Ms. Robbins, is incorrect. While you correctly identify some patterns of Greek Life, you do not give a holistic picture and degrade the system based on your minute observations. Greek organizations are service organizations, they promote scholarship, they provide networking, and they encourage female empowerment. Your insistence to the contrary make me angry, but also makes me want to invite you to my school to observe our sorority life. Based on what you wrote, I think it would shock you.

One of my biggest complaints with this novel was the insensitive manner with which Robbins dealt with secrets and rituals. I'll admit, it was interesting reading about other sorority's secrets, but it was incredibly tasteless. For hundreds of years, enormous amounts of women have tried to keep those "inconsequential" phrases (which Robbins demeans) a secret. By sharing them in your book, you only promote how very little you attempted to understand the system. Those were not your secrets to share, and do little to evoke the horror or outrage you were attempting to provoke. However, I was incredibly pleased to see that the one Sigma Kappa secret you attempted to share was incorrect. I noticed you had no source cited for that phrase, and I reasoned that it stood as a good representation of your style of journalism. Good try, though.

While I realize this review has turned to a bit more snark and sarcasm than I intended, I will say that this book did a good job with some elements of Greek Life (the support system, some of the problems with Nationals and fees), it did a outright bad job in other areas. Therefore, I would add a small phrase to the back of the book:

"Every parent of a college-bound daughter should read this book" and take everything said within with a grain of salt. Because I can personally testify that it does not, in the slightest, encompass my college sorority experience. Many of the problems the women in this book encounter seemed so foreign to me that I entertained she had trekked into a work of fiction. This does not represent Greek Life as I have experienced it, and I would do far more research before dispelling the organization forever based on the words of this woman. So while an interesting read and perspective to take, by no means a stellar, or entirely accurate, one.
Profile Image for Pauline.
30 reviews1 follower
January 1, 2016
Alexandra Robbins decided to investigate sororities and, being denied official access by the Greek bodies, went undercover by following 4 anonymous sisters for a year. She also sneaked into a few conferences and "forbidden" meetings, and did her own outside research on sorority rules, principles, and scandals. The book therefore reads a little bit like a 3rd person teenager diary, intersected with her broader findings.

She aims to give a balanced account, noting that the four girls/sororities will not be an absolute representation of all sororities (she remarks for example that alcohol/substance abuse is not to be considered a widespread issue). And, of course, this is only one journalist speaking and chosing her sources, so the book should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Still... as a European who has never been exposed to sororities or anything of the like, and looking at the facts presented here... What the hell?! So, you're telling me that:
- In university you can sign-up to be part of some club
- That each club is named after a greek letter, has colours, a code of conduct, a house, mandatory clothes to wear on particular occasions, a personality type to fit into, and a hierarchy in place. Bit like a sect?
- That all the clubs compete in some sort of overall university ranking system that can be improved by pairing with the "cool" fraternity, lip-syncing competitions, some kind of cheerleading, slutty dancing competitions, etc.
- And that this leaderboard really matters
- That to be accepted in most (all?) sororities you have to be wealthy, pretty, thin, smart (allegedly anyway, most of the focus while recruiting being on physical appearance), wear the right designer clothes, have the exact right personality (each sorority having a "preferred type"), and the right family background
- That sororities are still very, very much segregated, and home to some rather racist and ignorant sisters. Also, that their LGBT views follow the infamous "don't ask, don't tell" policy. What century is this?!
- That in some sororities rape is not as tragic as creating a "reputation" for yourself, or damaging a fraternity's reputation. Sometimes it's just not considered tragic at all. Absolutely barbaric.
- That when you enter a sorority you go through 9 weeks of hazing, an induction period with activities that range from harmless teasing to get to know each other to downright toxic organised (and encouraged!!) bullying (including violence, body-shaming, prostitution, etc.). Sometimes this leads to death and being burned with cigarettes (??).
- That all in all after university sororities don't have any real use, aside from the odd lucky meeting with an employer that went to the same than yours (or an unlucky one if they went to a rival sorority, again a very medieval concept).

Well... WTF. I don't understand the concept. It looks like it was originally supposed to be a network to find friends, your place at the new school, a way to make contacts, etc. In which case - does this really have to be restricted by gender, social background... the colours you wear, your weight, your face? I mean, really? And you pay for this as well? Bah.

There may be more positive testimonies out there, and I would be interested in reading that too. But if only for all the points above, and for the fact that the Greek official bodies let any, ANY of that happen in the first place... This is absolutely insane.

All in all, an interesting if horrifying book.
Profile Image for Rick.
406 reviews9 followers
May 25, 2014
“Pledged” (Hyperion, 2004) by Alexandra Robbins is interesting - in a voyeuristic sort of way. What is that word that means superficial and empty, and has a couple of Us in it?

Supposedly a tell-all on sororities, I suspect that everything the author depicts really does happen – just not constantly at the particular sororities she studied. I think she really put together a mélange of sordid activities from a number of sororities and assigned them for journalistic purposes to the ones she was writing about. So I have a problem with balance. I believe there are sororities that do some good and have more purpose than just drinking and playing sex games with the fraternities … but that wasn’t her storyline.

The sororities the author writes about are selectively kept to those that bring their pledges in on the basis of beauty and affluence. While they include the occasional token – whether by color of skin or looks or religion or affluence – the sororities Robbins focuses on pretty much kept to beauty and affluence as a condition precedent to membership. Thus we hear all about the – what was that word – activities that these types of women engage in. I am quite sure there are sororities that attract pledges based on other less superficial things, and that they actually have fun and perform some service to the community. But this book really just showcases the other extreme.

The fact is, many of the activities attributed to sororities happen in the dorms also. I don’t think sororities have any corner on binge drinking, casual sex, promiscuity, low academics, and the like. It happens in many areas of large campuses. Maybe sorority life just facilitates the nefarious activities. They are better organized and have practiced the moves down to a process – pledging, formals, date dashes, rush parties, and the like. Many young men and women out on their own with total freedom for the first time will act out – some of them to the extreme – and that is a fact of life. The Greek system just facilitates the process.

My biggest complaint with the book is it just focused on the titillating parts of sorority life, but that’s what sells books. It would have been nice to see a balanced approach to sororities – showcasing the good, the bad, and the ugly. As it was, the book got a bit boring after hearing about the tenth in a series of drunken parties. But if you are looking for an unmasking of the rituals … preference night, Greek week, pre-gaming, bid day, hell week, revelation night … this might be your cup of tea.

Oh yes – that word was vacuous and it has two Us.
Profile Image for Ashley M.
689 reviews
August 25, 2008
While the book does give an accurate approximation of the meetings & rituals are like, the types of categories stereotyped to certain sororities, and the general schedules of parties, meetings, events, & philanthropies, I found a lot of it far-fetched. The examples the author used of extremeist partying and hazing are most likely fact, however fraternities are demonized by inferring that they are all would-be-rapists and drug proponents.

I may have been naieve, but I wasn't aware of girls in the house snorting coke and being sexually assaulted on a regular basis. A smart sorority girl (there is such a thing- I promise!) simply was aware of which fraternities had a stigma of being the druggies, the date-rape-drug house, and overall creeps, and we avoided going to those places and associating with those people in close quarters.

I can see how someone from the outside would find the information within the book very interesting and I would not tell people to avoid reading it. Many sororities do make more of philanthropy than an hour a semester of arts and crafts, and many are just as dedicated to study as they are to a barbaque party with the Phi Sig house. A parent should look at it probably and say to their daughter, "these are things that you should be aware of and watch out for- are you certain sorority life is for you?" and then let them make their own choice.

Note that the author and the cooperating girls, while as well-intentioned as they may have been, the basic ideas within the book are real, but the details have got to be somewhat sensationalized in order to keep up the book sales and some activity also may be centralized to certain parts of the country or certain schools who value greek life more than others.
Profile Image for ╟ ♫ Tima ♪ ╣ ♥.
419 reviews21 followers
January 28, 2013
I have mixed feelings about this book. I'm a sucker for an exposé, even if it is sensationalized a little bit. That being said, I just don't know how much of this was true, to any degree.

As I was reading, I got the distinct feeling that she just wove together entirely fictional stories based on the hundreds of sorority sisters she interviewed. (Which, I'm curious how she swindled so many of them to agree to interviews when there is an entire chapter in the book about the Nationals war on media and how they're forbidden to speak to journalists..)

She did seem very slighted in her view of white v. non-white sororities. She played up everything catty, nasty, illegal and vicious that the 'traditional' Greek houses (white) did but downplayed them enormously when it came to all the multicultural houses. (The paper bag test, excuuuuse me?!) I think all the sororities have their pros/cons and am not really a fan of them myself.

Quite a few reviewers on here have been slamming the author pretty intensely (how funny that they usually say they were sorority members themselves), saying that it isn't just those on Greek Row who participate in shenanigans. Robbins reiterates that exhaustively throughout the book, so I have a feeling that the negative reviews were largely written by people who didn't actually finish the book.

Overall, the writing was dull and relatively lifeless. The last page of the book says you can go to her website for updates on the 4 girls she "followed". You cannot. Her website functions similarly to a former Geocities debacle and has no updates on anyone/thing.
45 reviews
August 3, 2014
I'm reading the paperback and only on page 54, but I am really enjoying this book so far. The subject, sororities, is something I knew nothing about but after only a few pages I get the idea - a business creates a local company, the purpose of the company is to produce income by providing a "certain kind" of collegiate experience. The experiences they are selling are all different and as all of the 1-star reviews will tell you "They didn't sell wet t-shirt contests where *I* went to school!"

Still, if you want a wet t-shirt experience in college there is a sorority that can help you out. On every campus. This is also true of drugs and casual sex. If anyone would like to debate this point, please, bring it.

I know they use a lot of different words to sum up what a sorority is, but my mind tracks money - you pay a lot of money to belong, and the people in charge don't have to really do much except keep the peace, keep the law from getting wind of what's happening (under-age drinking was a crime, last I heard) and call in favors once the people who bought the product gain power later in life.

Seriously, is there a better way to make money? All your consumers turn into robots who will defend you on the internet later on, and will probably give you money too!!
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