Mirror, Mask, and Shadow: The Risk and Rewards of Self-Acceptance

by Sheldon B. Kopp

Mirror, Mask and Shadow

Genres: Psychology

200 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1980

About the author

Sheldon Bernard Kopp (29 March 1929 – 29 March 1999) was a psychotherapist and author, based in Washington, D.C. He was born in New York City, and received his PhD from the New School for Social Research. In addition to his private practice, he served as a Psychotherapy Supervisor for the Pastoral Counselling and Consultation Centres in Washington. He died of cardiac arrhythmia and pneumonia. He is also popular for his quotes. One of them is, "All of the significant battles are waged within the self."

Reviews

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

A 4.5

I am so glad I stumbled across Sheldon Kopp a few years ago. (Thank you, Fringe!) He makes me think in a way that nothing else I read does. His honesty is blistering and blinding. He challenges me, and equips me to challenge myself to be more the person I can be.

This book made me more uncomfortable than his previous books I had read. But the discomfort was the good kind. And really, who wants to think about all the ugliness that resides insides us. But I wholeheartedly agree with Kopp that trying to hide, deny, or gloss over any part of ourselves weakens us. We are better off acknowledging these parts, familiarizing ourselves with them, accepting them as part of us.

In a kismet way, I have been thinking a bit about this idea in recent months. I have been trying again (still?) to look at more whole self, and more importantly accept my whole self. I have been trying to more quickly admit fault and error, instead of jumping to my more comfortable responses of making excuses or trying to shift blame. Damned if it isn’t hard.

Any easy recommendation to anyone. But approach the book as side reading. Read a chapter here or there, never more than one in a day. And only when you have the opportunity to reflect as you read. I think I spent as much time pausing to reflect as I did actually reading.

11/1/21
Not quite as good as I remember, but still lots of good things to think about.

[Rochelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like all of the other books by this author, he explores the work of self-acceptance every fully realized individual needs to do--the author does not exempt himself from this either. He explores this using extensive examples from his work as a psychotherapist who came to the understanding that very little if anything separated him from the patients he worked with to resolve their neuroses. He considered them his teachers and healers too, a perspective that at the time, was very much against the grain of conventional psychotherapy methods. He came to understand that the shadowland of "undesirable character attributes or psychological problems were the individual's mirror to the "bright" owned, more acceptable characteristics of the personality. He argues that we needed to incorporate the power of the unconscious, repressed selves or complex aspects of our personality in order to benefit from the energy redirected for personal transformation and growth. His books are funny, compassionate and passionate.

[Jake Jeffries · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is another great entry in the Sheldon Kopp catalog. It is rightfully titled as it explores connecting with your shadow self, facing down the demons that are looking back at you in the mirror, and lifting off the mask that we hide behind so often. I had a harder time getting into this book than I did some of his others but that may have been because of how hard it is to be vulnerable and face the shadows within at times. After finishing the book I did learn many things about myself and feel that I have gained a greater self-acceptance.

[Bill Baer · Rating 4 out of 5]

First book I ever read by Mr. Kopp , difficult at first but very important information to be gained from this book

[Ariel's Booklist · Rating 4 out of 5]

An insightful look into the psyche. Kopp's use of storytelling in it's classic form gives the book a fairytale quality which blends well with the archetypal discussions that take place.