My Story

by Elizabeth Smart, Chris Stewart

For the first time, ten years after her abduction from her Salt Lake City bedroom, Elizabeth Smart reveals how she survived and the secret to forging a new life in the wake of a brutal crime.

On June 5, 2002, fourteen-year-old Elizabeth Smart, the daughter of a close-knit Mormon family, was taken from her home in the middle of the night by religious fanatic, Brian David Mitchell and his wife, Wanda Barzee. She was kept chained, dressed in disguise, repeatedly raped, and told she and her family would be killed if she tried to escape. After her rescue on March 12, 2003, she rejoined her family and worked to pick up the pieces of her life.

Now for the first time, in her memoir, MY STORY, she tells of the constant fear she endured every hour, her courageous determination to maintain hope, and how she devised a plan to manipulate her captors and convinced them to return to Utah, where she was rescued minutes after arriving. Smart explains how her faith helped her stay sane in the midst of a nightmare and how she found the strength to confront her captors at their trial and see that justice was served.

In the nine years after her rescue, Smart transformed from victim to advocate, traveling the country and working to educate, inspire and foster change. She has created a foundation to help prevent crimes against children and is a frequent public speaker. In 2012, she married Matthew Gilmour, whom she met doing mission work in Paris for her church, in a fairy tale wedding that made the cover of People magazine.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, True Crime, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Book Club

308 pages, Hardcover

First published October 7, 2013

About the author

Librarian’s note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Note: This profile is for Elizabeth^^Smart.

The abduction of Elizabeth Smart was one of the most followed child abduction cases of our time. Elizabeth was abducted on June 5, 2002, and her captors controlled her by threatening to kill her and her family if she tried to escape. Fortunately, the police safely returned Elizabeth back to her family on March 12, 2003 after being held prisoner for 9 grueling months.

Through this traumatic experience Elizabeth has become an advocate for change related to child abduction, recovery programs and National legislation. Elizabeth triumphantly testified before her captor and the world about the very private nightmare she suffered during her abduction, which lead to conviction.

The Founder of the “Elizabeth Smart Foundation”, Elizabeth has also helped promote The National AMBER Alert, The Adam Walsh Child Protection & Safety Act and other safety legislation to help prevent abductions.

Elizabeth has chronicled her experiences in the New York Times best-selling book, “My Story.” In addition, she and other abduction survivors worked with the Department of Justice to create a survivors guide, entitled, “You’re Not Alone: The Journey From Abduction to Empowerment.” This guide is meant to encourage children who have gone through similar experiences not to give up but to know that there is hope for a rewarding life.

Elizabeth’s abduction and recovery continues to motivate parents, law enforcement and leaders worldwide to focus on children’s safety. She emphasizes vigilance by “every day” people and the belief that hope always exist to find every missing child.

Elizabeth’s example is a daily demonstration that there really is life after a tragic event. Smart attended Brigham Young University, studying music as a harp performance major. She married her husband Matthew in 2012.

Reviews

[Amanda L · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was about as far from what I was expecting as it could possibly be. I heard Smart speak about her experience in an interview with Terry Gross and was enGROSSed. Not the case here.

I should have known what I was getting into, but there's just a childlike naivety about this text. And I'm not just talking about the littered paragraph breaks for dramatic effect or the unnecessary and overuse of both italics and exclamation points. It's entirely on the surface and takes a conversational tone where I was really expecting a learned and psychological adult reflection piece. Very surprising because, when she speaks, Elizabeth Smart definitely has a presence about her.

Perhaps my distaste really all stems from the feelings I just can't get over that the LDS and/or Evangelical beliefs are "so cute." Like, "Aw, you really think that, dear? You're so precious." Sure I'm an ass, but when she's talking about a literal interpretation of parting the sea alongside earnest expectation that her god might make a similarly impossible feat reality for paragraph upon paragraph, without so much as implied acknowledgement that this was only a desperate hope lacking any potential to be realized, my eyes start to hurt from all they rollin'.

Of course, the woman isn't a writer. I rarely expect dazzling prose when I pick up a run-of-the-mill memoir. But here I've got to blame the co-author Chris Stewart for this mash-up of choppy sentences and for letting all this crap fly:

(1) If you can't put something to words, explicitly saying that you can't capture the experience in words isn't conveying anything except a lack of talent. Case in point:

"I can't describe the terror!" (p. 26)

"He would torture and brutalize me in ways that are impossible to describe." (p. 46)

I'm sure there were others that I forgot to dog-ear.

And in the same vein:
"It was no fun at all" - ???? (p. 122)

"weird" (p. 79)

You really think I'm wasting my time for that kind of non-detail?

"Then he proceeded to urinate" is about as heinous a detail you're going to find. And you're gonna get it on repeat. Ad nauseam. But please understand, I don't at all mean to imply that Brian David Mitchell isn't a heinous person or didn't do heinous things; I'm just saying that Smart is keeping us (and perhaps herself) at arm's length and I even wonder if that's unwittingly.

"He went on to describe what they were going to do" (p. 74). Uhm, ok?

What I was really craving to know and understand, picking this up, is how she managed to cope with this life for so long and how it impacts her even to this day. Because to say that the experience is no longer affecting her or that her existence is completely divorced from it (as she continually implies and even expressly states) is total denial. Her story is severely lacking in any emotional depth and she represents herself as only a shell of feeling at best, as her descriptions are completely devoid of internal reflection. I mean, for crying out loud, she's talking about how she hated the pattern on the sheets they slept on ("I didn't like the print one bit," p. 70). She even describes the print as "horrid" in the same passage-- REALLY? That, of all you have endured, is what resonates with you? This is unequivocally the epitome of superficial reflection.

(2) There's also overuse of blanket words like "crazy" or "evil" or "mean." Like, he wasn't crazy; just evil, which is not exactly illustrative of any point. Needs to be gone back over with a fine tipped brush to paint a bit more nuance. A little more 'show us, not tell us' would be much appreciated.

In repeatedly reminding us that he's "not crazy," perhaps what she really means is that he was not unfit to stand trial or is/was not suffering from psychosis and is fully cognizant. But there's certainly a DSM diagnosis for all his delusions of grandeur, at the very least. I'm not here to diagnose, but I'm also not here to say "just mean" and "not crazy."

And (3) a qualifier like this:
"I don't know what the exact definition of despair is..."
Presumably you've had 10+ years in reflecting on your experiences and many years in writing this text to look that up? Obviously that's just in there for dramatic effect. And to me it's just plain cheap.

It is utterly amazing to me that the text could be so sparse and at the same time completely littered with unnecessary verbiage (see remarks on bedsheets, above). An enigma.

On top of and severely more egregious than all the above flaws is her obvious privilege and the way it colors her description and seemingly even affects what she takes away from her experiences. Worse yet, she ostensibly holds a boastful pride for that privilege.

"I thought back on a girl I knew in junior high. She was a friend to the Polynesians, the Mexicans, the Caucasians. She was friends with everyone. She was just so nice. So I thought, ok I can be like her" (p. 73, emphasis added).

"My abduction was to become the most publicized case since..." (p.67).

And then:
"I don't know what drove so many people to try to help me..." "light blue ribbons and buttons with my picture began to appear from California to Maine..." "hundreds of thousands [of posters] distributed nationwide..." "And to this day I remain the luckiest girl in the world!" (all p.67). In all seriousness, is this genuine naivety?--LUCK? Does she really not understand that this is the way sensationalized for-profit American media works (and the audience response it begets)? Yes, the search absolutely should have been omnipresent, as it should be for any missing child, regardless of how "pretty" (or white?) she is. Even after these years of reflection and even working with and advocating for victims, with countless many more abductions since, she really doesn't see that the inequity between her search and any other comes down to the "pretty" "blond hair and blue eyes" she continually revisits in her text? I have to wonder if she even comprehends the fact of that injustice? Use your privilege for good. It's time to make a change in the way the Smarts are treated versus the way the families of Amanda Berry, Georgina DeJesus, Michelle Knight, Avonte Oquendo, etc., are treated.

I'll qualify my rating and what I've said with a statement that I wholly respect anyone's effort to confront and/or come to terms with a victimizing experience. And I certainly admire the courage that doing so necessarily requires and I fully admit that writing about trauma can be freeing and cathartic. However, as I was reading this I was not convinced that Ms. Smart has actually come to terms with her past. The will power she was so emphatic about only takes one so far. I sensed throughout an adamant tone of denial, as if she were on the defensive about any further struggle that is typically part and parcel to an extended traumatic experience such as hers. Flashbacks, PTSD, nightmares.... it was as if she were trying to convey that she is immune to any after-effects and emotionally impermeable to the manipulation of her captors, which to me is actually frighteningly apathetic.

She was adamant, "there was no Stockholm Syndrome going on with me!" -- well, let that speak for itself. Again, a bit more 'show us, not tell us'. It seems as if she was obsessed with being rescued and refused to take matters into her own hands or responsibility for her own fate, even when surrounded by bystanders (in libraries, on buses, and eventually in various shelters) and even when confronted by police, no less. I'm no professional but that's utterly helpless behavior and her statements that she didn't want to be viewed "at fault" for her escape seem to imply some sensitivity to the emotions and concerns of her captors, which, as a vulnerable 13-year old who was wholly relying on them for basic necessities (in addition to being tortured and manipulated by them), would be completely understandable.

And then in the end there's that admission that she refused any professional help or counseling. Admirable if you can get through it at all, let alone on your own, but, again, I am not convinced that she truly is past the experience (or that it would ever even be possible to truly be "past" it-- coping is a lifelong journey, but her tone and manner vehemently deny this fact).

If you're really interested, listen to the Fresh Air interview with Terry Gross instead. But then don't get conned into reading it.

Admittedly I should try to have more respect for this tortured girl, but instead my response is clouded by disdain for how much slop is published merely on the basis that it will sell. Is this review going to be censored? Or am I flattering myself again?

<< crickets >>

[Annie]

I just can't bring myself to give this a star rating. I've no problem with Elizabeth or her family profiting from the morbid public interest in her sad tale. Writing a book from Elizabeth's point of view seemed a logical conclusion, and I'm frankly surprised it didn't come sooner. However, it's not terribly well written -- a shortcoming that should be blamed entirely on the ghost writer and not Elizabeth herself.

There's a lot in this book that made me feel as though I was both intruding into Elizabeth's privacy and participating in her unhealthy (to me) coping. For instance, Elizabeth's belief in miracles stretch the limits of believability and instead seem as though you're reading the account of a child desperate to feel as though she was not alone (something that makes me incredibly sad and uncomfortable). Some of the details she reports directly contradict reports in the media AND her parents book, Bringing Elizabeth home, particularly the events near the end of her imprisonment and whether or not she had Stockholm syndrome. Oh, Stockholm syndrome. A very large part of the book is dedicated to trying to prove to the reader she did not have Stockholm syndrome, that she would never betray herself or her family by developing such a commonplace psychological condition, etc. She proudly states she had no therapy (and I'll grant that she says some people may need it), further causing my discomfort with the book.

Elizabeth is undoubtedly a very strong woman who does much good in the world. However, this book reads like somebody who has a highly specific version of her story held in her mind (particularly that she did NOT have Stockholm syndrome) and feels that she needs others to believe it. There's very little of the book dedicated to her healing and recovery process, simply because it seems she didn't really go through much of one by her own admission. Ultimately, I feel that the story is hers to tell however she chooses and that she should be applauded for every single thing she has done since those brutal nine months. She has rebuilt her life. I just don't feel comfortable holding this up as a book other survivors of trauma ought to read because it is a pretty religiously based book -- if you aren't Mormon, don't have an entire family structure dedicated to helping you suppress memories, and aren't well off enough to afford access to horses, I don't think her story has much to offer other survivors of unimaginable trauma.

I just have a lot of conflicted feelings about this book.

[Beverly Diehl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Let me say first, I am a huge Elizabeth Smart fan. I've seen her on various television programs, and seen video clips of her speeches. THAT articulate, intelligent, passionate young woman is mostly muted in these pages, and there are many questions that either are not explored at all, or sometimes touched upon and not finished. Whether that was by her own choice, or whether she was toned down by her ghostwriter, it makes the book less appealing.

The "voice" was very young throughout! Okay, she WAS very young when she was kidnapped, and it makes sense that as she relived the experience, her vocabulary would regress to that of a sheltered young girl. But there's an excess! of exclamation points! that simply became annoying!

There's an emphasis made about her red silk pajamas, and mention that Mitchell, her kidnapper, was going to do something disgusting with them. What? We never find out. Elizabeth is so physically immature when she is first raped, she has not yet begun menstruating. Did she begin menstruating while in captivity, or did the starvation diet she was on prevent her from reaching menarche? Did she worry about becoming pregnant with the monster's child, or perhaps contracting an STI?

Ms. Smart has spoken openly and more than once in public about how the abstinence-focused "sex ed" was part of what also held her captive: the teaching that a girl who's had sex is like a chewed up piece of gum, and nobody would want THAT made her feel ashamed and worthless. I applaud her for speaking out about this in public, and wish it was more than briefly mentioned and quickly glossed over in this book.

Has she been able to enjoy a healthy sex life since she married or are there still hurdles to overcome? I didn't need the Penthouse blow-by-blow intimate details, but just a hint: "It was hard at first, I was very afraid, but my wonderful husband was so patient and loving we worked it out and now that area of our married life is rich and rewarding." Or: "I was worried I wouldn't be able to respond to my husband, but he was so different in mind, body and soul, that I had no problem." Or even that she still has problems that she and her husband are working out together. Never explored.

Did she ever hate her captors, hope they died, and perhaps feel guilty because of her "unChristian" thoughts? If so, never mentioned. Does any member of her family still struggle with guilt over her abduction? Did she have any issues with healthy eating once back with her family, or did she ever have impulses to binge or hoard food? Not mentioned.

There are only three chapters about her post-captivity life: one on being reunited with her parents, one about the trials of Barzee and Mitchell, and one on her recovery, in general (called Gratitude and Faith). It's wonderful that she had the support of family, of faith, and the comfort of horseback riding and playing the harp - but what did she STRUGGLE with? Was there anything about rejoining civilization that surprised her, or was different than she expected?

While I applaud the work Ms. Smart is doing on behalf of abducted children and their recovery, and appreciate that she may need to reclaim her privacy after all she endured, and admire her deeply as a human being, I am not sure what the point is in releasing an autobiography that leaves so many questions unanswered and doesn't dig deeper emotionally.

[donna backshall · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hate having give a low rating to a memoir, especially a potentially soul-baring one about abuse, but wow, this was awful. I got the audio version on Overdrive, and truth be told, it was unbearable. I got through maybe 10% before I ripped the earbuds out and began trying to breathe normally. I usually chug books like this, never getting enough, but this one was childlike and sugary. Worse than a syrupy Sweet Tea at Bojangles.

Elizabeth Smart read the book herself, and her presentation was so stilted and "off", like she was reading someone else's words. (which she probably was) Add to that the continual Christian references -- practically every sentence dripped with religious gravy -- trying to rationalize what her god had allowed to happen, and my WOW now needs to be capitalized.

I know there's a good story in there, but I'll have to find it in articles or interviews, because this iced cupcake of a book is certainly not the avenue for getting the real survival story.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before I read the book, I read a lot of reviews about it. Almost all of them were the same: Great story, great girl but poorly written book. I actually loved the way the book was written while at the same time I can see why it got those reviews. It's not really written as a page turner/cliff hanger type book, but I don't think that was the purpose of the book. I mean it wasn't a fictional story written for fun or to entertain. So I think she achieved her purpose in writing. I loved that she got to defend her younger sister and her mom. I love that she had the chance to tell everyone how evil and selfish Mitchell was. I love that she was able to describe her fear and explain how that dictated every decision she made even when she was faced with the chance of escape. I'm willing to bet that most people reading her book can't comprehend that level of fear. I love that she shared what her mom said to her after she was found and I thought that was a fantastic thing to say. Living in Utah, her story was on the news constantly and I'm she took the chance to tell her story because sometimes the media isn't always kind or truthful.

I think Elizabeth is a true hero and I wish I could tell my girls all about her, but obviously, I can't. I'm amazed at her resilience, her ability to move on and her ability to never let go of her belief in God. I'm amazed that she could realize how even though her situation was horrible, it could have been worse. She's right... she doesn't have pictures of her abuser hanging on the wall of her house because it's a family member. She didn't get pregnant. There was no death involved. I worked with a girl who went through similar trauma experiences, probably even worse, and I'm amazed that Elizabeth has been able to forget him and build a good life for herself. I think it was a lot harder than she really talked about, but I'm so glad that she could do it and truly not give him any more of her life! I still remember exactly where I was and who told me that she'd been found. It was pretty shocking. The court cases of Barzee and Mitchell were on the news and every time the case was suspended because he would come into the courtroom singing and wouldn't stop, it made me angry. I'm so glad they didn't determine him to be mentally incompetent. It was so obvious he knew exactly what he was doing and I'm so glad she got to affirm that in her book. I'm glad she had the chance to testify against him and stare him down and seal his sentence! You go girl!

[Lauren Hopkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is what it is...a glorified wikipedia entry based off of crime reports. After hearing Smart speak on NPR, it's clear she's a very eloquent and insightful person who is able to articulate her feelings about her ordeal in a way that would make you think this book is going to be fantastic but it's very clear the person with whom she wrote it (a politician who has written a weird handful of books including one about how miracles have "saved the United States" including the "miraculous creation of the constitution"...I'm sure it's on the shelves of every prominent historian #sarcasm) took the reins and erased all sense of who she is. I've never read any other books about her ordeal and don't know more than what I read in the news, but I would imagine most books out there are better than her own, which is a bummer because this is, as the title suggests, HER STORY, so it's a shame that so much of the book's material is straight out of crime reports and the news rather than in her own words. That being said, she does elaborate on her feelings at certain points in her captivity, but it's really not much and the same language is used repeatedly, making it come off as rather insincere. Again, as she sounded incredibly genuine during her NPR interview, it's just too bad that you don't get a great sense of who she is in this book. It's generic. That's the best way to describe it...it's not a bad book, but it's not anything special, either.

[Erika B. (SOS BOOKS) · Rating 4 out of 5]

"It's funny, some of the things that I remember, many of the details forever burned in my mind. It's as if I can still smell the air, hear the mountain leaves rustle above me, feel the fabric of the veil that Brian David Mitchell stretched across my face. I can picture every detail of my surroundings: the tent, the washbasin, the oppressive dugout full of spiders and mice. I can feel the cut of the steel cable wrapped so tightly around my ankle, the scorch of the summer heat lifting off the side of the hill, the swaying of the Greyhound bus as we fled to California. I remember so many overwhelming feelings and emotions. Terror that is utterly indescribable, even to this day. Embarrassment and shame so deep, I felt as if my very worth had been tossed upon the ground. Despair. Starving hunger. Fatigue and thirst and a nakedness that bares on to the bones. Intruding hands. Pain and burning. The leering look of his dark eyes. A deep longing for my family. A heartbreaking yearning to go home. Looking back, I realized that at one point, early on the morning of the first day, something had changed inside me. After I had been raped and brutalized, there was something new inside my soul. There was a burning now inside me, a fierce determination that no matter what I had to do, I was going to live! I also discovered something that is harder to imagine, and much more difficult to explain. Sometime during the first couple of days, I realized that I wasn't alone. There were others there beside me, unseen but not unfelt. Sometimes I could picture them beside me, reaching for my hand. And that is on of the reasons I am still alive."

4-4.5 stars! I'm going to be perfectly honest with you-this book is going to be HARD for me to review! I will tell you right now if you aren't comfortable with the issue of rape skip this one. Elizabeth Smart is about a year older than I am. I remember when she was taken because it scared me! She was a girl about my age and only lived an hour away from me! It was very real and very close to home. Her kidnapping was everywhere on billboards and in the media. I remember it was summer and one night I went around shutting all of the windows because I was freaked out about someone coming through the screens and taking me. So to read this book period made me a little apprehensive! I will admit that reading it did scare me! Elizabeth didn't sugar coat her experience at all. She tells about being taken from her home at knife point and dragged up into the mountains. There she became the "second wife" to a psychopath and his psychopath wife. Essentially she talks about becoming a slave to Wanda Barzee and a sex toy for Brian David Mitchell for her nine months of captivity. She talks about the horror of being cabled to a tree and being able to her rescuers and not being able to call out for help. She rehashes each horror and terrifying situation with complete honesty. Had the story been only these facts I think I might have abandoned it for simply not being able to handle the sadness of it all. BUT Elizabeth Smart also weaves another tale throughout the story. It's a story about faith and tender mercies. It's a tale about gratitude and forgiveness and some seriously big miracles. I felt her spirit radiating through the pages almost as if it was reaching out and saying that even in the darkest times there is light. As a person she is truly inspiring!

"Life is a journey for us all. We all face trials. We all have ups and downs. All of us are human. But we are also the masters of our fate. We are the ones who decide how we are going to react to life. Yes, I could have decided to allow myself to be handicapped by what happened to me. But I decided very early that I only had one life and that I wasn't going to waste it. As of this writing, I am twenty-five years old. I have been alive for 307 months. Nine of those months haven't been very good. I have been happy. I have been very blessed. Who knows how many more months I have to live? But even if I died tomorrow, nine out of 307 seems like pretty good odds."
"I also believe in faith. Faith in a loving and kind Heavenly Father who will always care about me. Faith that my worth will never be diminished. Faith that God knows how I feel and that I can depend on him to help me through it all. I believe that God not only suffered for me, but that He will make everything up to me in His own time and His own way. That gives me the peace I need to feel like justice will win out in the end."

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure how to rate this.

It was poorly written in my opinion and very child-like. (Not sure if that's the right word I'm looking for?). It was a little bit hard to read. Parts of it felt like she was talking in circles. Parts of it felt like it was just a platform to say emphatically that she didn't have Stockholm syndrome and that she couldn't have escaped because she was just a child.

It was also hard to read because of the actual content! Her captors were so evil. It's just unbelievable what mitchell did -- all of the different forms of abuse he inflicted on Elizabeth.

I'll admit I was a little curious how or why she didn't escape when she had the chance. But I understand more what was going on in her 14 year old head. I tried to think of how I would have acted in the same situation. It's scary!

She was very vague on some of the aspects of abuse. Which I totally get - privacy or whatnot. But when someone alludes that something horrible and unbelievable happens or that they had to do something deplorable and unthinkable, and they don't specify what it was, it just makes my mind try to think of the worst possible thing she might be referring to!

I think the thing that shocked me and bothered me the most was Elizabeth saying that she had never gotten professional counseling??????????!!!!!!!!!!! She listed several therapeutic things she uses (playing the harp and horse back riding). And I don't doubt that she has a strong support system. But are you kidding me? Although I guess I should say that I truly believe that everyone can benefit from a good counselor, let alone someone who went through what she did!

She does have a good attitude, strong faith, a deep sense of gratitude, and loving and supportive family. She's taking her experience and helping other victims and that's very admirable.

(And I'm sorry but I just have to say it again. Why would you not get professional counseling??!!)

[Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this on audio, and while I was riveted by Elizabeth Smart's story and the horror that she endured, I have to agree with others who admit to having problems with the book itself.

The audio is narrated by Elizabeth Smart herself, who very often took a sarcastic tone when reading parts where her disgust and disdain for Mitchell and Barzee were obvious. While I have no doubt that she did have sarcastic thoughts, the tone gave her the feeling of an irritated teenager rather than an abused kidnap victim. It was almost as if, in her overzealous effort to assure readers that she never developed Stockholm syndrome or ever had any positive feelings at all for her captors, she's allowing her grown-up self to interject a higher level of disdain than I can imagine her teen captive self would have felt free to express without fear of retribution.

Too, I became very frustrated by Smart's constant suggestions of abuse and horror only to be followed by a complete lack of detail. Not that I expected a prurient description of the degrading things she was forced to endure, but it does no good to say simply that Mitchell "described a disgusting act" without any context. The spectrum of "disgusting acts" is pretty broad. Or another example - she states that when she tried to escape once, she was severely chastised to such a degree she wasn't willing to risk it again. In my mind, a severe scolding doesn't seem so dis-incentivising. What, exactly, had her punishment been? She talks about how Barzee treated her like a slave, but she doesn't mention what that meant. Did she have to do all of the work in camp, and if so, what was there to do? They lived in filth and Mitchell would never have let her go off on her own to get water or food, so how was she treated like a slave? Details like that would have better fleshed out her story and helped to paint a clearer picture of what she went through. If she truly wanted to express her real experience, she chose to leave far too much in the dark.

And while I know that this is strictly Elizabeth Smart's story and she stated up front that she had no desire to ever understand what drove either Mitchell or Barzee to commit their twisted evil crimes, there were parts of the story that could have benefited from objective, pscyhological input. For example, at one point it appears that Mitchell has abandoned Barzee and Smart, leaving them to starve to death in their camp. While Smart re-iterates ad nauseum why she never felt capable of trying to escape even when Mitchell had left the camp, I kept wondering why the adult Barzee would remain there without food for that long. We get no insight as to her actions at all.

One thing that I found strange - Smart was taken when she was fourteen, turning fifteen while in captivity. Many, many times she describes herself as a "little girl", giving this fact as a key reason for her absolute submission to Mitchell and belief in his ability to kill her entire family should she try to escape, thus her inability to speak up when the chances of rescue were within reach. I am the mother of a fifteen year old girl, and I would never consider her "little". When I hear the phrase "little girl" I see a six or seven year old, or even a ten or eleven year old. I think this means that at the time of her kidnapping, Elizabeth must have been relatively immature or extremely sheltered to view herself as so much younger than a person in their teens would be. NOT that I am saying she didn't truly believe her life was in danger and wasn't in constant fear and thus had good reasons for her actions, just that I needed some more backstory to correlate her reactions with her chronological age since they seem a bit shifted to me.

For those who know nothing or very little about the Elizabeth Smart case - I vaguely remembered the news stories but never paid attention to the story once she'd been rescued and didn't know anything about the trials - this is an informative way to learn the story. However, after listening to the book, I don't exactly feel like I got the behind-the-scenes truth about what she went through.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped, we had just moved back from New Jersey to Salt Lake. I was fascinated and horrified by her abduction, though I wasn't one of the people who pored over every report in the paper. I did cry a little when she was found, alive, since I had been convinced that they would only find a body, as the days and months passed. But I've been even more fascinated by her life since then. She has emerged from a harrowing ordeal as a gracious, gentle, intelligent woman. She's used her "fame" to help others. She's graduated from college, served an LDS mission, and married in the temple, all goals that she set long before Brian David Mitchell kidnapped and abused her. This book is amazing. Without being graphic or sensational, but rather with a sort of matter-of-fact clarity, she recounts her captivity and what she endured, which included being force-fed drugs and alcohol, living outside in extreme weather, and nearly dying of starvation. But through it all she speaks of her great faith, her will to survive, and her love for her family that sustained her. This is a truly inspiring book, and certainly an interesting one for anyone who knew about her abduction and rescue.

[Colleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elizabeth Smart's story is riveting, intriguing, heartbreaking and inspiring. Smart's faith and hope in the midst of some of the most horrifying trials imaginable can't help but impact the reader for the better, and her resilience as she faced a hopeful future or the ruin of her soul is beautiful.

As an addendum to my review above, I read a few reviews after I wrote mine, interested in what others thought. I agreed in most part with the commentary on the writing, which is why I only gave the book 3 stars. At times I found myself wondering if she was purposely trying to sound like a 14-year-old, since that was her age at the time of her kidnapping. However, I found it interesting that several people didn't like the book because they felt that her strength in her faith, which she felt got her through the ordeal, and the process through which she healed afterward, with the help of her family and her faith but without counseling, were not legitimate and that she was still in denial. They also did not like that in the book she emphasized several times that she never had Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless of whether you are a person of faith, to discount that for HER faith was a source of strength which allowed her to survive and to heal is not the place of the reader. This is Elizabeth Smart's story from Elizabeth Smart's point of view. And regardless of whether she actually did come to connect with her captors over the 9 months she was held, her belief that she never truly did feel anything more than fear and anger toward them has helped her to move forward. She is doing great, important and powerful things with her life to protect those who need it so that more young people don't find themselves in a situation like hers. At the end of the book, she makes it clear that everyone needs to find their own way to healing, and that counseling or medication could be part of that, it just wasn't for her. And when people gripe that she didn't include more details about her abuse and rape...that's just sad. Her book is not to dwell on the evil she endured, but to share how she endured it.

[Cynthia Sillitoe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having given this more thought, I wanted to do a more thorough review. Parts of this book are riveting and details only Elizabeth could know. She makes some interesting choices, including not going into much detail as to the sexual abuse, which is totally her right to do. One myth the book shoots down is Stockholm syndrome, at least not in the sense that she begins to identify with them. She figures her captors out pretty fast and doesn't believe their delusions, but is terrified of them with good reason.

But there are loose threads and inconsistencies. One frequently reported story about her rescue included a back story of them going to Florida, her name being Augustine, her captors insisting it is true, and Elizabeth insisting it is true. In the book, while she evades the questions at first, the whole Augustine story is not mentioned. I thought, "Ok, so that didn't happen." And then I saw her on the news after the book was published and she referred to the Augustine story there. Also, there's some question as to whether she said she was Elizabeth when she was first found or after some time separated from her captors and at the police station.

I don't know what the process was for this. I don't know how much she wrote or if it was more that the co-author interviewed her. I also can see that it might have been too difficult for her to read draft after draft. If she couldn't read it, somebody should have been reading it and comparing it to her testimony and other comments, and then asking her for clarification. Because if it's to be the definitive account, it needs to be consistent. It's not that I think she's lying. I think, like many survivors of trauma, her memory is fragmented and has never been totally reconstructed.

Having lived in Utah, I know some of what followed in terms of the legal process. Mitchell, especially, used every tactic he could to avoid a trial. For years, the questions loomed--would there be a trial? Would Elizabeth testify? Would she have to testify in front of her captors? Would Barzee testify against Mitchell?

And I know that she did testify (though Mitchell acted crazy so he didn't have to be present) and her testimony was graphic. Also, she sat through the rest of the trial, including Mitchell's defense team trying anything they could to minimize his crimes. And that must have been hellish for Elizabeth.

If I didn't know all that, I would think this is too neat and too "happily ever after" as many reviewers do. And I wish Elizabeth a happy life. I just don't think she can get it without counseling. I don't care how strong or positive a person is, you can't opt out of PTSD after this type of trauma. I understand that she might not want to discuss the lasting effects of trauma, but it would be nice if she would acknowledge that they are there.

Jaycee Dugard, for instance, was younger when she was taken and held longer, and she's still amazing resilient and optimistic, but I think she is more frank about how long the road to recovery is.

And I just dread the message. Yes, she has a caveat that counseling is fine for people who choose it, but then she opts out, and it makes my heart break for her and for anyone who might be influenced more by her actions than her words. We live in a country that does not put enough emphasis on mental health. There's still a stigma to any kind of therapy and so people (and especially Mormons, who are ridiculously stoic) decide they don't need it. And sometimes not dealing with the trauma becomes worse than the trauma itself.

[Mariah Roze · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book took me one day to finish! It is so good and heartbreaking! Her story is very tragic...

"For the first time, ten years after her abduction from her Salt Lake City bedroom, Elizabeth Smart reveals how she survived and the secret to forging a new life in the wake of a brutal crime.
On June 5, 2002, fourteen-year-old Elizabeth Smart, the daughter of a close-knit Mormon family, was taken from her home in the middle of the night by religious fanatic, Brian David Mitchell and his wife, Wanda Barzee. She was kept chained, dressed in disguise, repeatedly raped, and told she and her family would be killed if she tried to escape. After her rescue on March 12, 2003, she rejoined her family and worked to pick up the pieces of her life.
Now for the first time, in her memoir, MY STORY, she tells of the constant fear she endured every hour, her courageous determination to maintain hope, and how she devised a plan to manipulate her captors and convinced them to return to Utah, where she was rescued minutes after arriving. Smart explains how her faith helped her stay sane in the midst of a nightmare and how she found the strength to confront her captors at their trial and see that justice was served.
In the nine years after her rescue, Smart transformed from victim to advocate, traveling the country and working to educate, inspire and foster change. She has created a foundation to help prevent crimes against children and is a frequent public speaker. In 2012, she married Matthew Gilmour, whom she met doing mission work in Paris for her church, in a fairy tale wedding that made the cover of People magazine."

[Rissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We always have something to be grateful for because there is always something that can be worse. “

My story 5⭐️
Her story makes all my problems and complaints feel so petty and stupid. She never lost hope and it was such a horrible terrifying thing to happen and at such a young age. I dont think that if it happened to me even now as an adult i would have been able to deal and survive to keep faith and keep fighting everyday just to survive.
She is brave and even braver for telling her story reliving her pain all over again. She was an amazing child and continues to be an amazing woman.

I am terrified to fall asleep and live her story in my dreams. Her story will stay with me for a long while. Her words break the edges of my heart.

“Words of God came from the mouth of the devil”

I couldnt read this in one sitting it was to horrible that every chapter my hesrt broke more and more. Her story made me sick with fear, compassion, how i never could have survived. Words cant describe the feeling and faith while reading, she does an excellent job at making the reader feel as though they were their too.

[Kathy * Bookworm Nation · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was living in Utah when Elizabeth was kidnapped. I remember that time very vividly, my heart broke for her and her family. I remember praying that she would be found and reunited with her family. I actually remember the day she was found. I was home from work, working on a paper when I saw on the news she had been found, just blocks away from my home. I couldn't believe they had found her and so close to where I lived. What a miracle. I always wondered about her reunion and how she adjusted back to normal life. Going to school, etc. The book touched on it a little bit, but I wouldn't have minded a little more.

The majority of the book does focus on her time in captivity. I was worried at how descriptive it would be, I knew she had been raped, sometimes multiple times a day, but I was relieved she didn't share the gory details. I don't think that's needed to really understand what she went through. She shared enough that you get the idea what her abuse was like. Anyway, it was fascinating to hear about her nine-month captivity, since during those nine months I had been following her case and had spent time wondering about her and talking about her case with friends.

What struck me the most about her story, was the "tender mercies" she had along the way. How she remained faithful throughout it all. Her positive attitude, and finding things to be grateful for in such a terrifying and heartbreaking ordeal is really amazing. Yes, she was very young and naïve when taken, but she is also very intelligent and did what she had to to survive. I am so grateful that she has not only learned to put the nightmare behind her, but has used her experience to help so many others.

I decided to read this book after seeing her new documentary on A&E. I've read some reviews that didn't care for the writing style or storytelling, but I thought it was fine. I thought it gave a good glimpse into what was going on and how she handled everything. I thought it was well written and handled the sensitive topics well. Still, its hard to read all that she went through, but the last bit when she is reunited with her family is amazing. Now that I have kids of my own, I can't even imagine the unbearable pain her parents must have gone through. There should be extra time added to their sentence for the pain and suffering caused to her family.

I'm rambling, so I'll end with saying I thought this was a great book. Compelling story and I loved the overall message that we have a caring Heavenly Father who loves us and who is with us even in our darkest times.

Content
Obviously, deals with kidnapping, rape and emotional/mental abuse. While she suffered sexual abuse almost daily, it's not detailed in the book, but some parts are disturbing so wouldn't recommend to sensitive readers.

[Melissa Memmott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will never forget the day I had heard Elizabeth was found, let alone found alive. I had heard a little of what happened but my heart hurt reading her day by day description on this story.
A great read about faith and miracles. Wishing I could of been a fly on the wall when she was reunited with her family.
Having cried as much as I did reading this than any other book. Highly recommended read, with a box of tissues. In awe at how amazing the human body and spirit can heal...created from God.

[rowan]

!CHECK TW’S BEFORE READING!

So for context, this novel is written by the victim of the world famous Elizabeth Smart case, Elizabeth Smart. She was kidnapped from her bedroom at age 14, and the book is about her story, from how she survived, to her experience and feelings during the nine month long kidnap and torture.

Although reading this in less than a day, it was so exhausting to read. Its been a few hours since I finished this book and I still have a hard time fathoming how strong Elizabeth Smart was, and is. There are no weirds to describe how much I respect her. This book is a must read for all young girls, young boys, adults.. Honestly everyone just read it if you haven’t.

One of the main criticisms I’ve read in reviews is the writing, which I think is foolish. People will rate this book low because it’s not top tier writing, and while I understand where they’re coming from, I think they’re missing the purpose of this book.

This book is not written to be a literary masterpiece. It’s written to share her story, because it’s very important for people (especially young readers) to read, in my opinion. I mean, come on. The book is literally called “My Story.” I had no problem with the writing in this book. I think she perfectly translated her emotions into words, and I was brought to tears multiple times throughout the book. As someone who’s main profession isn’t writing, she did an outstanding job.

Another common complaint I noticed was that it wasn’t ‘graphic enough’ or that it didn’t include enough morbid details, which I think is an absolute horrible thing to complain about. This is a woman who has been through such a big traumatic event at a very young age, and is likely still affected by it to this day, and you’re asking for more graphic details? That’s revolting to me. If that was one of your main problems with this book, I’m sorry but I think you should reconsider.

I was already familiar with the story of Elizabeth Smart, after watching a video on it a few weeks ago, and I immediately started searching for this book, because it’s such a crazy story. Even though I’d already been exposed to the story, I was on the seat of my chair the entire time, and Elizabeth told the story so well.

Elizabeth Smart is such an inspiring woman, and I’d recommend this book to anyone- especially sexual assault victims, kidnap/rape survivors, and anyone who’s experienced something traumatic.

Now, please read this book :)

[reading is my hustle · Rating 3 out of 5]

As April said:

Monsters.

This was hard to read for many reasons. Hard because I am a mother and I cannot imagine what Elizabeth's family must have gone through. Hard because Elizabeth's ordeal was so heinous. Hard because I fear that Elizabeth's upbringing contributed to her passiveness when being kidnapped, brutalized, and held hostage for a nine month period.

I say this without judgement.
Truly.

Elizabeth was fourteen years old and had been brought up in a religious home. She was taught to obey. She was surrounded by good people, an involved extended family, and loved well. She lived in a state that does not see much violent crime.

By contrast, I grew up in California. I have family members in law enforcement. My cousins and I grew up hearing that if anyone ever tried to hurt us or take us we were to FIGHT. You fight because if that person is willing to try and kidnap you whatever they have planned for you will be much worse when they get you alone. If they have a gun let them shoot you. A knife let them cut you. JUST FIGHT.

Recently library staff where I work attended an Active Shooter Training. The three most important things to do/remember: Take cover, try to get to the nearest exit, if neither are possible: FIGHT.

YOU ALWAYS FIGHT.

The saddest fact about Elizabeth's kidnapping and then nine month hostage ordeal is that she did not fight. Not once. Her fear literally paralyzed her. She was too damned scared. She was too damned nice. She had no life skills or perspective in which to understand what was happening to her. She only felt powerless. And a terrible, overwhelming, and intractable fear.

She was the perfect victim.

MONSTERS.

[Wanda Pedersen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strange things happen when I’m bored. I was in the public library, waiting for my laptop to digest some security updates and just happened to lean over and grab this book. “Oh, I remember this story,” I thought. “I’ll just read a few pages while the computer updates.” Well, I had been away on vacation for two weeks, and there were a lot of updates to grind through. By the time it was done, I was several chapters in and hooked.

I can’t resist books like these—tales of women who survived some of the worst situations that they could ever have found themselves in and who emerge from the experience able to share their stories and proclaim their transcendence over them. I chalk some of it up to the same instinct that makes us want to gawk at traffic accidents: identify the problem so as to try to avoid it in the future.

It is obvious from the book that Elizabeth’s Mormon faith was a great comfort and support to her during her ordeal. Although I do not espouse any particular religion, I can appreciate the fact that this philosophy helped a 14 year old survive a miserable experience. I am also amazed at how mentally tough this rather introverted and admittedly geeky young woman was—no Stockholm syndrome for Ms. Smart.

Whatever else, I think Elizabeth’s mother nailed it when she told her daughter not to give her captor even one more minute of her life—to completely disregard him from the moment she escaped. Living well really is the best revenge.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't believe I'm giving two stars to an autobiography about abduction and rape. But I can't stop myself. I'm rating the book itself, not her experience or her personal resilience.

Smart made some interesting remarks not too long ago on the subject of sex education, specifically the overemphasis on the concept of "purity" and how being raped made her feel like her family might not love her anymore. Those comments made me think that Smart was developing an interesting voice as an activist, and that her memoir would be worth reading. Unfortunately, I was mistaken.

The most compassionate and hopeful assessment I can give is that Smart is not done baking. She makes a strange point of bragging that she never went to therapy for what happened to her. I think that would be fine if the assessments she gave of her own captivity weren't so cringe-inducingly childish and indicative of someone who is still deeply repressed. She often gives the non-description of an event or an experience as being "too awful to describe." I understand that she doesn't want to give a gory, detailed account of her first forced blowjob, I do. But she should be able to say "he forced me to perform oral intercourse." Instead she side-steps the event as being "too disgusting" to even name. Elizabeth! Girl! This is a continuation of the kind of sexual misinformation and vagaries that enabled your further abuse! And a therapist probably could've helped you get to a point where you could describe it without feeling re-violated by it.

She was also extremely defensive on the subject of Stockholm Syndrome. She snarls against the reader's unspoken assertion that, for survival purposes, she had probably unconsciously allowed the evolutionary adaptive trait of capture bonding to take over. She is so bizarrely defensive on this point that it was awkward to read. Truly, I think her understanding of this real and uncontrollable response to trauma is based on pop-culture, and a therapist whoo specializes in children in her situation could've done a lot to educate her and alleviate the guilt she felt afterwards. Instead we watch her pretty obviously rewriting big pieces of her story, and it is terribly sad. Every single moment in the book where she had the opportunity to reach out for help, her captor threatens her with a knife, or with a gesture meant to remind her of the knife, or with a whispered "I'll kill you if you scream!" I'm not saying he didn't do those things, but he didn't have to do those things for me to believe that she was too young, too confused, too traumatized, and too frightened to act in her own defense. Every scene where she drank, it was because he stood over her and forced her to, despite the fact that he's also painted as being very selfish with food and other resources. Girl, if you drank to blot out what was happening to you, that is okay. That does not make you a bad Mormon; it does not mean you have permanently "polluted" the temple of your body; it means that it's easy for most Mormons not to drink because they aren't being starved and raped on a daily basis, and denied access to any other coping mechanisms or bodily comforts.



I feel it's possible she published this memoir at far too young an age. The text is peppered with 100% certified Grade A teenagerisms. There is an abundance of exclamation points, words like "yuck," descriptions of her captors as "evil" and "mean" and "smelly." I know those things are true, but I would've expected her publisher to hire a ghost writer to elevate the text. Perhaps it shouldn't have been an autobiography--an authorized biography by a more skilled writer probably could've done a much better job of it.

Finally, I was deeply disappointed by the lack of critical thought on her religion and her community, and the lack of a call-to-action for those people. You live in a city where SO MANY indigent people roam the streets, claiming to be a prophet of god, that regular folks do not find these people remarkable enough to remember ever seeing them, even when they have a child bride in tow. You live in a culture where young girls are taught to be meek and pure, and left in the dark about their bodies and sex, and there is no indictment of those behaviors when they directly contribute to a young girl's feelings of confusion and entrapment during her abduction. You live within a religious community that normalizes the subjugation and possession of vaginas, read women. Where are the charges? I want to see the charges!

90% of the novel was spent during the kidnapping itself, with almost none at all dedicated to her life before her kidnapping, the trial afterwards, or her recovery process, and I think it's because she felt uncomfortable turning too much of a critical eye towards those things for fear of the conclusions she may have to draw. It was easier to describe her rapist as "evil," to claim she had god's aid when she so clearly did not, and to try to claw her way back to the "normal Mormon life" she had envisioned for herself before all of this happened. No need for secular therapists to traipse in and complicate things--just surround yourself with the same community that completely failed you, and prove how strong you are by refusing to let what happened change you. Ugh.



If it is something that she wants for herself, I really feel that Smart could become an amazing, well-rounded advocate if given a lot more time to heal, absorb, and grow as a person. But this book was just...heartbreakingly one-dimensional. And poorly-written. And emotionally disappointing. Skip it.

[Kayla Hewett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great memoir full of hard and unimaginable moments and tragedy, but with a happy ending.

[Gail · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely worth reading/listening to. Here are the problems -- the writing isn't amazing, which I can overlook, but the toughest thing was that it's read by Elizabeth Smart herself, who often reads it as though she is reading a children's book or a young adult to someone, as in "My Life as a Zany Teenager" or something. I would be thinking, "Whoa this is not like wearing a bad outfit to school," but that's how it sounds. Obviously she didn't feel that way about it, but she sometimes reads it that way, which trivializes how horrible it was.

On why-you-should-read-this: You just can't believe this happened to her and she survived. I was grateful that she avoided being graphic. But definitely you knew the terrible things she endured. Even though I knew the ending, my heart was pounding! And when she was reunited with her family, I couldn't stop crying.

Brooke & I both agreed that while we were listening, the book consumed us. I thought about Elizabeth, Wanda and Mitchell last thing before bed and first thing upon awakening. It was interesting to me that she hardly mentions her Dad, but loved her Mom sooooo much, and mentions her repeatedly. I also REALLY enjoyed listening to how she has coped post-kidnapping.

[♥Milica♥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Elizabeth, you’re going to meet lots of people in this life. Some of them will like you. Some of them won’t. But of all the people you’ll have to deal with, there are only a few people that matter. God. And your dad and me. God will always love you. You are His daughter. He will never turn his back on you. The same thing is true for me. It doesn’t matter where you go, or what you do, or whatever else might happen, I will always love you. You will always be my daughter. Nothing can change that.”

Oh wow. This book had me crying almost from the start, it was impossible to put down and having Elizabeth narrate her own story made it all the more powerful.

The book isn't graphic, and anything that could be triggering is almost glossed over, but we still understand what happened. I appreciate this, even though I know some survivors like to write in detail about what happened to them.

I've seen some complaints about the writing style and while I get it, I have no issues with it myself. Yes, it did seem a little simple and childlike, but considering she was only a kid when she was kidnapped I think it worked for the story.

What I admire most is that Elizabeth never lost her faith in God, even when life with her kidnappers was the hardest. She trusted in God to help keep her safe and the faith kept her alive.

One of the kidnappers, Wanda Barzee, has since been released from prison and I can't even imagine what Elizabeth must've felt when she heard the news. In my opinion both Barzee and Mitchell deserve to rot in prison forever for what they've done.

Elizabeth has also written a follow up book to this one which I will be checking out. I wish her a very happy life with her family and I'm so proud of her for being able to overcome all of this.

I also believe in faith. Faith in a loving and kind Heavenly Father who will always care about me. Faith that my worth will never be diminished. Faith that God knows how I feel and that I can depend on him to help me through it all. I believe that God not only suffered for me, but that He will make everything up to me in His own time and His own way. That gives me the peace I need to feel like justice will win out in the end.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I was so impressed by Elizabeth, and her courage and determination to simply SURVIVE. What she suffered was unthinkable. The evil in that man is inexcusable. What bothered me the most was the fact that he consistently used GOD as a reason for absolutely every vile thing he did. SICK man. This is what I have such a hard time with...people distorting the reality of God, and who He is, to simply suit their own selfish desires. I also greatly appreciated her positive attitude. She could have chosen to dwell on the negative, and play the victim. She refused. Even during her captivity, she made herself look for things to be thankful for each day. I'm sure her positive attitude despite the negative situation, contributed greatly to her survival. What a read. I couldn't put it down. I read a lot of the other reviews, where people were complaining about the ghost writer and the poor quality of writing. And while it might not be the most complex in structure, it gives a very clear picture of what Elizabeth is wanting to convey. And THAT is why I gave this book five stars. For anyone to live through that, be able to tell about it, to forgive the perpetrator(s), and to move on and live a happy, contented, successful life, is phenomenal. Then, to go on and establish a foundation, and speak regularly to other victims... she deserves more than five stars, in my opinion!

[Marla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember when Elizabeth was taken. It was horrific at the time and horrific again to listen to Elizabeth read her book about what happened to her. What a strong individual Elizabeth has become and I'm so glad she is living her life with joy and happiness so she doesn't give anymore power to her captors. I know she says no one knows what she went through, that the fear can paralyze you but I still wonder why she didn't yell her name when the police officer confronted them at the library and was quiet when they were caught. I understand she didn't want to cause her family harm, but it's too bad she didn't have faith that the police would keep her safe. I do know because of listening to this book, I'm going to look a little closer at people as I walk by and see if they are sending signals with their eyes or body language. And I hope Elizabeth's story helps children who do happen to get taken to have strength to survive.

[Katie (hiding in the pages) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's so hard to rate a book like this one. There are some hard things to read about, yet I loved the way Elizabeth Smart was able to rise above this experience. Her ability, at a fairly young age, to decipher reality from fantasy (a crazy man's ideas of life) was very inspiring.

I can't imagine what she went through and the fear that she felt. I had just moved to the Valley about a year before this happened and remember hearing about it in the news. In fact, I was in the area where she was found just a few hours before she was discovered. It was such a happy miracle that she was found.

Content: nothing graphic, but some hard-to-read material (rape, kidnapping, abuse)

[~Bellegirl91~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

NEW REVIEW
"When faced with pain and evil, we have to make a choice. We can choose to be taken by the evil, or we can try to embrace the good.


Even though I last listened to this 7 years after I was sexually abused by my own dad and had triggers and PTSD and not as extreme as Elizabeth went through, now it's been 12 years (2023) since I was abused and 5 years since I last listned to this and not ONCE did I feel any triggering or PTSD. I feel blessed enough to be at a point to not have those feelings and let them consume me. I feel more happiness than I've ever felt, more joy, peace, and comfort. I feel like I'm a rare walking miracle who was able to accomplish the impossible most people don't get to experience.


And for her bravery for telling this story is a huge feat for any abuse victim and those in her situation at this young age.


For anyone who also judges her by things such as a phrasing about how she can't describe the torture or things this man did to her is bothersome to them, let me say this. It makes PERFECT SENSE she'd say that because maybe there were other horrific things she endured or he had her do that she doesn't want to relive or something that doesn't need to be discussed, so she instead says that whatever else she had to face is indescribable and can't be put into words and most likely something she didn't want to relive while doing this book.


One thing that helped me with my personal healing was the advice her mom gave her which is as follows:


"Elizabeth, what this man has done is terrible. There aren't any words that are strong enough to describe how wicked and evil he is! He has taken nine months of your life that you will never get back again. but the best punishment you could ever give him is to be happy. To move forward with your life. To do exactly what you want. because, yes, this will probably go to trial and some kind of sentencing will be given to him and that wicked woman. But even it that's true, you may never feel like justice has been served. But you don't need to worry about that. At the end of the day, God is the ultimate judge. He will make up to you every pain and loss that you have suffered. And if it turns out these wicked people are not punished here on earth, it doesn't mater. His punishments are just. you don't ever have to worry. You don't ever have to even think about them again. You be happy, Elizabeth. Just be happy. If you go and feel sorry for yourself, or if you dwell on what has happened, if you hold on to your pain, that is allowing him to steal more of your life away. So don't you do that! Don't you let him! There is no way that he deserves that. Not one more second of your life. You keep every second for yourself. You keep them and be happy. God will take care of the rest."


On top of that, even though my abuse with my dad happened when I was 20 and it was only touching and using me as an object for his pleasure, it was all very confusing at the time for me. So much that I even wondered to myself if this thing was normal. SERIOUSLY!? Uh, no. That was NOT NORMAL AT ALL. And it's beyond sad I even had to wonder that. Regardless of age, who's involved, how far it goes etc, abuse is abuse, especially sexual abuse.

Elizabeth here also perfectly described the feeling of that guilt and feeling like you're broken no matter what happened to a T and I remember how I cried over that PTSD moment when I first heard this cause it's a great explanation. She says...

"Imagine you have a beautiful crystal vase. Then imagine that you accidentally knock it off the table and it shatters into pieces on the floor. We all understand it wasn't the vase's fault that it was pushed off the table and shattered. But still, it is broken. It is worthless. You don't want it anymore. So you sweep it up and throw away the pieces. That is how i felt. It wasn't my fault. But I was broken. No one would want me anymore."


THAT says it all of how I felt as well after 3 years of being in darkness. It took me 6 years to finally start feeling more peace and being able to forgive myself and another 4 years to finally heal, now, 2 years of officially being healed. She said she never had counseling, therapy or medication etc, but she does say that since everyone is different, they tend to find their own way in coping. Some counseling works, for some it may not and that's okay. But for her it was her horseback riding and harp that had become her therapy.

For me? I too didn't think counseling was for me and looking back, what saved me (literally) was my love of reading. My books and reading became my own type of therapy and I didn't quite see that until the last year or two.

Overall, some people will judge about the writing or wording or whatever, but read it from her perspective and what she had to go through ad a 14 year old girl for 9 months. She survived the impossible and is truly amazing after all she went through.


If you yourself have been a victim of abuse, male or female, have the courage to share your story and open up more with it. Or feel free to message me your story. I'm very outspoken over my story and hope it someday, like Elizabeth's story did for me 5 years ago did for me, I hope my story and those like Elizabeth's can help you and others know that there is life and happiness and joy after abuse. It's only a matter of how you choose to react to it ans from what her mom said. Choose be happy, to find joy, and peace and comfort in your life because you deserve it.


By the way, my dad is in prison since January 2020 and was arrested July 2019 and I haven't spoken to him since. He did legit blame me by telling my then divorced mom the day he was arrested that he wished I kept my mouth shut *eye roll/what else is new?* and I knew he was the boy who cried wolf. But I truly feel free from him and don't have to have him in my life again.

[Elizabeth Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

AUDIOBOOK
I lived in Salt Lake City in 2002 when Smart was abducted from her bedroom less than a mile from my student apartment in the foothills. Along with thousands of others, I helped search for her. Nine months later, I fell to my knees and cried when I got a phone call from my brother: "Turn on the TV! They found Elizabeth Smart!"

I preordered this book with great anticipation, wanting to hear about Smart's ordeal in her own words. The book does not disappoint. She recounts her abduction with great detail, sharing the story linearly. It is gripping. She doesn't share as much about her life after the abduction as some would like, but I imagine that choice was due to her desire to maintain some semblance of privacy to her life.

I listened to this as an audiobook, and I would highly recommend that choice. Smart has a humor and sarcasm that comes through very strongly through her voice. In fact, I'm not sure the written word would have the same effect. Her reading made me laugh out loud at times.

My only difficulty with the book is simply that Smart doesn't quite express to the reader/listener just how harrowing this ordeal must have been (though this could be a result of hearing it rather than reading it). She is so adept at seeing her captors with disdain and derision at this point (11 years later), that you almost get the idea that she was able to scoff at them all the way along. I'm sure the story she told her parents in the weeks after her discovery was closer to the heart emotionally than this telling is. But still, I credit her for thumbing her nose at these terrible people and being able to move on. Good for her, even if the story did come off a little more arms-length than I would have liked.

I'm glad I only had housework to do today; I couldn't turn this off! A great book with some important lessons.

[Chelsea · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the book, Smart changed some of the facts she testified to during Mitchell's trial. This bothers me to no end. Smart does not acknowledge or explain these discrepancies. ("Thou sayest"/"I am Elizabeth")

I'm quite sure Stewart did most of the writing and Smart simply interjected a few thoughts. Much of what is written comes off as defesive, disdainful, and sarcastic. Smart claims in the epilouge that she has moved on without any professional counseling, but the tone "she" writes with does not align with how she claims she feels. I don't know if this is a problem created by Smart and Stewart writing together, or if it is truly how she describes these events.

[Glen Stott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped by David Brian Mitchell when she was fourteen. He told her God had chosen her to be the first of seven child brides. (He would make a couple of failed attempts to get the second one) He and his adult wife, Barzee, held her for nine months during which time he raped her nearly every day and forced her to engage in other depraved activities Smart chooses not to explain in detail. He also forced her to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes. For months he held her prisoner in a camp in the mountains above the University of Utah. Water was scarce and had to be carried in, so bathing was not allowed. Having been raised in a Mormon family, sexual purity was taught as a gift from God. Physical cleanliness and health was highly prized. Smoking and drinking are both sins against the body and against God who created it. Mitchell knew enough about Mormonism to know these things that she held dear had to be destroyed so he could dominate her. He wasted no time trying to do it. On the surface, he seemed to succeed.

As winter approached, Mitchell and Barzee took Elizabeth to Lakeside just North of San Diego. Things didn’t go well for them there, so Mitchell decided to take them to the East Coast. By this time, Elizabeth had learned some ways of manipulating him. Using what she learned, she got him to decide to go back to Salt Lake City. By then he had become accustomed to taking her in public without a veil. Within hours of getting to the Salt Lake area, someone recognized Elizabeth and she was finally rescued. After nine months of pain, torture, starvation and dehydration to the point of mental and physical emaciation, she was finally reunited with her family.

The story is one of distilled, concentrated evil abusing pure innocence. In this life, it does not always happen that good prevails so completely as happens here. Reading it is hard because the path Mitchell created is so depraved and wicked. Fortunately, it ends as it should. The Elizabeth Smart who wrote this book has grown to be a strong woman and a powerful advocate for children. She is married and has a daughter of her own. David Brian Mitchell is serving life in prison without possibility of parole. I hope he has a long life there.

The highlights of the story are well known. The details of the book look down the throat of evil, but they also let the reader look into the heart of a little girl struggling to confront it – to not be consumed by it; and finally succeeding.