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The Wives: A Memoir
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Memoir (2024)A captivating memoir that tells the story of one woman’s experience of joining a community of army wives after leaving her New York City job—a profoundly intimate look at marriage, friendship, and the power of human connection.
When her new husband joins an elite Army unit, Simone Gorrindo is uprooted from New York City and dropped into Columbus, Georgia. With her husband frequently deployed, Simone is left to find her place in this new world, alone—until she meets the wives.
Gorrindo gives us an intimate look into the inner lives of a remarkable group of women and a tender, unflinching portrait of a marriage. A love story, an unforgettable coming-of-age tale, and a bracing tour of the intractable divisions that plague our country today, The Wives offers a rare and powerful gift: a hopeful stitch in the fabric of a torn America.
When her new husband joins an elite Army unit, Simone Gorrindo is uprooted from New York City and dropped into Columbus, Georgia. With her husband frequently deployed, Simone is left to find her place in this new world, alone—until she meets the wives.
Gorrindo gives us an intimate look into the inner lives of a remarkable group of women and a tender, unflinching portrait of a marriage. A love story, an unforgettable coming-of-age tale, and a bracing tour of the intractable divisions that plague our country today, The Wives offers a rare and powerful gift: a hopeful stitch in the fabric of a torn America.
416 pages, Hardcover
First published April 9, 2024
582 people are currently reading
35634 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,221 reviews
May 3, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir.
The author was able to share her life as an army wife and helps to shed light on the trials and tribulations of the army life that spouses experience when their loved one is deployed.
Written in a way that non-military individuals can understand, it also allows a connection for those of us who do understand the life because we’ve lived it.
I found the genuine connections the author made with other wives to be heartwarming. The relationship aspect with her husband was also a highlight for me. Told in such a way that this feels part novel, part real life, I found myself highly interested from the start.
Would highly recomend if you are looking for a memoir that gives you all the feels, pulls your heartstrings and gives you a glimpse at military life.
April 15, 2024
DNF @53%
*author should not have been the audio narrator. She was monotone and very gratting to listen to.
As a United States Air Force veteran spouse, the tone and rhetoric was very anti American and a huge waste of my time. I could not believe her ignorance and judgement of the Army and their spouses.
*author should not have been the audio narrator. She was monotone and very gratting to listen to.
As a United States Air Force veteran spouse, the tone and rhetoric was very anti American and a huge waste of my time. I could not believe her ignorance and judgement of the Army and their spouses.
February 10, 2024
I was excited to read this book as I have been a military spouse for 18.5 years and was a military brat. My husband was former Army who wanted to go to Ranger school but ended up swapping to AF. I wanted to learn what the life was like. It was not at all what I expected. It wasn’t a look into what the lives are like as much as a long list of complaints about her issues with the military, the wives, and America.
Unfortunately the author comes off extremely anti-American (to the point she makes the comment about the flag bothering her) and her liberal ideology is woven throughout the book.
The book starts off with some background info into her life. She grew up in California and ends up moving to New York. Her and her husband had known each other from California and he tells her he’d pick the Army over her. They go to couple therapy where she decides she does love him enough to follow him. They have a court wedding and move to GA where she is immediately thrown into Army life and he is deployed.
She talks about how Rachel her neighbor and her become immediate friends. This is typical military spouse life. You move and you find friends immediately who become closer than family in many cases because they’re the ones there for you during the rough times when the spouses are gone. I felt like she did a good job with explaining what it is like to be thrown into the military lifestyle especially as an outsider; unfortunately, that’s about where the good ends.
What bothered me so much though was she begins to air the wives secrets. Clearly she doesn’t know the unwritten spouse rules because I’d never be okay with someone airing things I’d told them about marital problems, squadron issues, just life. I’m hoping she got permission to share for example how one of the men in the unit was verbally abusive after drinking too much. Or how another wife wrote papers for her husband for college (I’m waiting for him to get into trouble for plagiarism and his career to be over) because the military has decided that in addition to their insane training schedule and deployment rotation they need to get a college degree. These were just a few of the examples of airing others dirty laundry.
My other issue was how she sees enlisted wives. She says at one point speaking about officers’ wives, “I had more in common with them than Officer wives. An obvious shared cultural experience was college…. We’d grown up, most of us, in leafy suburbs and midsized cities with bookstores and a decent collection of restaurants, not rural, 3,000 person towns…” First off, I’m an officer wife whose dad was enlisted. My parents were not college educated but we did live in large towns. Once my dad got out we spent the majority of my childhood between Seattle and California. My parents had grown up in the Seattle area. She again makes a comment, “Sometimes, I wondered if the officer wives looked at me the same way. The wife of an enlisted man? Must be an interim gig. Way too smart.” This is so pretentious. She acts like the average enlisted wife is a dumb bimbo who is barefoot and pregnant all of the time. I feel bad for the enlisted wives who read this. I know women who went to college and refuse to read a book. And I know people who never went to college who are smarter than college educated people. Another direct quote of hers, “every officer wife I’d met so far seemed well-bred in a way those kids from my high school had, like they’d probably grown up with dance lessons and summer camps and sweet notes in their lunch boxes.” Again, as an officer wife, I didn’t grow up with any of that. She has an extremely jaded view of the enlisted wives and these are just a few examples.
If she’s not complaining about the wives and their lack of education she’s complaining about the deployments. Yes, they’re hard. Yes they suck. She’s active duty and those wives are amazing about jumping in to help out. She does talk about how Rachel helped her as she massively struggled with anxiety and as someone who myself struggles with anxiety I could relate to her on this one issue. But I could not imagine literally moving in with someone else for months on end (what seemed to be the case) because of anxiety.
The one positive she talks about is mental health care. Her and her husband actually go to see a counselor which is huge especially in the SF community where they believe in taking care of things on their own.
If the book hadn’t had such a jaded view I still couldn’t give it a high rating. It jumped around quite often and felt very flat. Often, the only time she went into deep descriptions on people or places was when they were bad. I loved the show and book series “Army Wives” even if it wasn’t accurate because of how engaging it was. I thought this would be fun to read but instead she shoved her politics and anti religious views down my throat. At the end she even speaks to her husband’s disdain towards President Trump. While we have a president that we are completely opposed to now and weren’t huge Trump fans, I cannot imagine my husband or myself airing our blatant disrespect towards them. The president is their boss at the end of the day.
I asked other military spouses about some of these quotes and we all agreed they were out of line. Many said they would absolutely not pay to read this book.
I saved a ton of quotes please feel free to read through them.
Thanks to NetGalley for this preread.
Unfortunately the author comes off extremely anti-American (to the point she makes the comment about the flag bothering her) and her liberal ideology is woven throughout the book.
The book starts off with some background info into her life. She grew up in California and ends up moving to New York. Her and her husband had known each other from California and he tells her he’d pick the Army over her. They go to couple therapy where she decides she does love him enough to follow him. They have a court wedding and move to GA where she is immediately thrown into Army life and he is deployed.
She talks about how Rachel her neighbor and her become immediate friends. This is typical military spouse life. You move and you find friends immediately who become closer than family in many cases because they’re the ones there for you during the rough times when the spouses are gone. I felt like she did a good job with explaining what it is like to be thrown into the military lifestyle especially as an outsider; unfortunately, that’s about where the good ends.
What bothered me so much though was she begins to air the wives secrets. Clearly she doesn’t know the unwritten spouse rules because I’d never be okay with someone airing things I’d told them about marital problems, squadron issues, just life. I’m hoping she got permission to share for example how one of the men in the unit was verbally abusive after drinking too much. Or how another wife wrote papers for her husband for college (I’m waiting for him to get into trouble for plagiarism and his career to be over) because the military has decided that in addition to their insane training schedule and deployment rotation they need to get a college degree. These were just a few of the examples of airing others dirty laundry.
My other issue was how she sees enlisted wives. She says at one point speaking about officers’ wives, “I had more in common with them than Officer wives. An obvious shared cultural experience was college…. We’d grown up, most of us, in leafy suburbs and midsized cities with bookstores and a decent collection of restaurants, not rural, 3,000 person towns…” First off, I’m an officer wife whose dad was enlisted. My parents were not college educated but we did live in large towns. Once my dad got out we spent the majority of my childhood between Seattle and California. My parents had grown up in the Seattle area. She again makes a comment, “Sometimes, I wondered if the officer wives looked at me the same way. The wife of an enlisted man? Must be an interim gig. Way too smart.” This is so pretentious. She acts like the average enlisted wife is a dumb bimbo who is barefoot and pregnant all of the time. I feel bad for the enlisted wives who read this. I know women who went to college and refuse to read a book. And I know people who never went to college who are smarter than college educated people. Another direct quote of hers, “every officer wife I’d met so far seemed well-bred in a way those kids from my high school had, like they’d probably grown up with dance lessons and summer camps and sweet notes in their lunch boxes.” Again, as an officer wife, I didn’t grow up with any of that. She has an extremely jaded view of the enlisted wives and these are just a few examples.
If she’s not complaining about the wives and their lack of education she’s complaining about the deployments. Yes, they’re hard. Yes they suck. She’s active duty and those wives are amazing about jumping in to help out. She does talk about how Rachel helped her as she massively struggled with anxiety and as someone who myself struggles with anxiety I could relate to her on this one issue. But I could not imagine literally moving in with someone else for months on end (what seemed to be the case) because of anxiety.
The one positive she talks about is mental health care. Her and her husband actually go to see a counselor which is huge especially in the SF community where they believe in taking care of things on their own.
If the book hadn’t had such a jaded view I still couldn’t give it a high rating. It jumped around quite often and felt very flat. Often, the only time she went into deep descriptions on people or places was when they were bad. I loved the show and book series “Army Wives” even if it wasn’t accurate because of how engaging it was. I thought this would be fun to read but instead she shoved her politics and anti religious views down my throat. At the end she even speaks to her husband’s disdain towards President Trump. While we have a president that we are completely opposed to now and weren’t huge Trump fans, I cannot imagine my husband or myself airing our blatant disrespect towards them. The president is their boss at the end of the day.
I asked other military spouses about some of these quotes and we all agreed they were out of line. Many said they would absolutely not pay to read this book.
I saved a ton of quotes please feel free to read through them.
Thanks to NetGalley for this preread.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 5, 2025
Well, I tried really hard to like the main character in this memoir, but wow, what a condescending, woke, judgmental character she has shown herself to be. To me, she came off as racist. I know this is her story to tell, but I got so tired of her pre-judging everyone, sometimes before they even speak! A southern accent does not automatically mean that they are dumb & uneducated! It means you are stationed in the south, Georgia to be specific. As someone from Chicago who married a college educated businessman from Georgia, I found her disdainfulness towards the south, conservatives, religious people, and the ARMY to be pretty much bigoted! She seemed to put everyone on a level beneath her, education wise, socially & politically - until she needed something from them! The wife of an army Ranger can’t be easy for anyone, but this gal who just seems to look for reasons to be offended, is certainly in the right place to get all up in a lather. Why she ever married her husband is beyond me. She is extra sensitive & married to her complete opposite. They knock heads on most subjects. Her lack of patriotism (especially for a military wife) was astounding to me when she was shocked & dismayed that her military husband wanted to display an American flag or practice his shooting at a gun range. Your husband is fighting for that flag. Are you actually pulling for the other side? His practice at a gun range just might save his or someone else’s life. I almost DNF this book, but I’m glad I persevered. Simone, the main character & author, did slowly & painfully grow quite a bit. She actually became slightly more tolerant, but not entirely & how excruciatingly hard it was for her to do so. However, even at the very end, she still chooses to judge people based on their political beliefs, as it’s extremely important for her to know how people voted.
If I could say one thing to her, it would be this: “Be teachable, you’re not always right.”
If I could say one thing to her, it would be this: “Be teachable, you’re not always right.”
May 19, 2024
A few years ago, my husband was part of the exact same "Unit" that Simone and her husband found themselves involved in/with. I write my review to offer another insight into this unique life in the hopes of adding another perspective for those who are truly ready to learn and understand a lifestyle that may be completely different than their own.
Simone's memoir was unbelievably refreshing and raw. Her honesty and ability to be forthcoming with her feelings and perspectives during such a volatile and anxiety-ridden period of her life are so necessary for others to hear. Simone has written her inner dialogue so extensively, as well as the outward interactions with other Unit wives that I often felt transported back to that period of my life! I have always felt like I have lived a rather niche "Army wife" experience due to my husband's prior involvement with the Unit (make no mistake: this sentiment is absolutely NOT to be misinterpreted with "better than other milspouses" intent). While the book doesn't speak directly to "the wives" as a whole as much as I initially expected, it focuses more on Simone's own opinions and experiences (as any good memoir does), yet simultaneously allows the reader to infer that the other Unit wives have/had unique, yet similar struggles/experiences due to the nature of this lifestyle.
My own experience differs from Simone's on the surface, but not by too much. For instance, my husband was/is an officer, while hers was/is enlisted. My closest friends and support system were found outside of Unit wives, while hers were almost exclusively found inside the Unit wives. My husband missed the birth of my second daughter by emergency C-section because of this job, while hers made it home in time (heck yeah, Simone!). I found immense comfort in religion and faith during my time as a Unit wife, while Simone made a point of mentioning that wasn't a priority for her. These differences didn't at all change the underlying sentiment: the life of a Unit wife is no joke! So much is/was asked of our husbands and, in turn, ourselves as well. We all have/had choices and sacrifices to make and, as a result, repercussions to deal with from those choices and sacrifices. It's a terrifyingly beautiful predicament to live so acutely on a daily basis.
To those reviewers who are claiming the book is "not the typical milspouse experience," you couldn't be more correct. Big Army (and I venture to assume other conventional military branches) is so far from the Unit that it makes Big Army look almost like a vacation at times... almost (I can also speak to that personally because my husband has since transitioned from a career with the Unit to a different career in the Army). And to those who want to automatically categorize Simone's writing as "anti-American," well... this may come as a shock, but some of her feelings (political, personal, etc.) are actually shared by those wives supporting the individuals who hold one of the most "American" careers that men and women can hold! That is the beautiful dichotomy of being a military spouse, specifically one whose husband is part of the Unit.
In the end, I'm not here to come to Simone's defense. Her lived experiences, feelings, and opinions don't need defending in a memoir of her own life. However, please take it from me: her memoir is real, raw, and incredibly accurate for Unit wives, both past and present. Thank you, Simone!
Simone's memoir was unbelievably refreshing and raw. Her honesty and ability to be forthcoming with her feelings and perspectives during such a volatile and anxiety-ridden period of her life are so necessary for others to hear. Simone has written her inner dialogue so extensively, as well as the outward interactions with other Unit wives that I often felt transported back to that period of my life! I have always felt like I have lived a rather niche "Army wife" experience due to my husband's prior involvement with the Unit (make no mistake: this sentiment is absolutely NOT to be misinterpreted with "better than other milspouses" intent). While the book doesn't speak directly to "the wives" as a whole as much as I initially expected, it focuses more on Simone's own opinions and experiences (as any good memoir does), yet simultaneously allows the reader to infer that the other Unit wives have/had unique, yet similar struggles/experiences due to the nature of this lifestyle.
My own experience differs from Simone's on the surface, but not by too much. For instance, my husband was/is an officer, while hers was/is enlisted. My closest friends and support system were found outside of Unit wives, while hers were almost exclusively found inside the Unit wives. My husband missed the birth of my second daughter by emergency C-section because of this job, while hers made it home in time (heck yeah, Simone!). I found immense comfort in religion and faith during my time as a Unit wife, while Simone made a point of mentioning that wasn't a priority for her. These differences didn't at all change the underlying sentiment: the life of a Unit wife is no joke! So much is/was asked of our husbands and, in turn, ourselves as well. We all have/had choices and sacrifices to make and, as a result, repercussions to deal with from those choices and sacrifices. It's a terrifyingly beautiful predicament to live so acutely on a daily basis.
To those reviewers who are claiming the book is "not the typical milspouse experience," you couldn't be more correct. Big Army (and I venture to assume other conventional military branches) is so far from the Unit that it makes Big Army look almost like a vacation at times... almost (I can also speak to that personally because my husband has since transitioned from a career with the Unit to a different career in the Army). And to those who want to automatically categorize Simone's writing as "anti-American," well... this may come as a shock, but some of her feelings (political, personal, etc.) are actually shared by those wives supporting the individuals who hold one of the most "American" careers that men and women can hold! That is the beautiful dichotomy of being a military spouse, specifically one whose husband is part of the Unit.
In the end, I'm not here to come to Simone's defense. Her lived experiences, feelings, and opinions don't need defending in a memoir of her own life. However, please take it from me: her memoir is real, raw, and incredibly accurate for Unit wives, both past and present. Thank you, Simone!
April 7, 2024
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked this one up. I will admit if I hadn’t received a copy from Goodreads and it hadn’t been a bookish first book I may have passed on it. I have little interest in the military or that style of life. I think I enjoyed this book more because I could see myself sliding into that life like Simone did, against her will and full of doubts. I found myself agreeing with Simone’s assessment of the people she came across which helped me to better relate to her since I don’t know that I could give up my home and career and life to be “a wife”. Her writing was excellent and I am in awe at the level of honesty she shared with the readers. While this may be her first book I do not think it will be her last and while she tends to drift more towards essay and non-fiction I hope she ventures into fiction at some point. I think she has plenty of creativity. This book shows the beginning of Simone’s husband Andrew’s career with the military and what Simone sacrificed and found in becoming an army wife.
March 26, 2024
Simone’s whining gets tedious after a while.
July 25, 2024
As someone with pacifist leanings, I wasn’t sure how much I’d enjoy this memoir about being a U.S. military wife. It turns out the writer and I have much more in common than I thought!
Simone is a left-wing New Yorker who is shocked by her long-term partner Andrew’s decision to join the military. Because she doesn’t want to lose him, she agrees to marry him and move to Georgia. But her feelings about war and the work her husband is doing remain complex.
This book deftly explores themes of patriotism, gender roles and anxiety. It was a peek into a world I knew nothing about, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The author does a great job of depicting the unique burdens faced by military wives, who carry a disproportionate amount of the load at home while simultaneously fearing for their spouse’s life. The people in this book, wives and soldiers alike, are portrayed in a multidimensional and nuanced way. Overall, this was a great read, although it felt a bit longer than it had to be.
Simone is a left-wing New Yorker who is shocked by her long-term partner Andrew’s decision to join the military. Because she doesn’t want to lose him, she agrees to marry him and move to Georgia. But her feelings about war and the work her husband is doing remain complex.
This book deftly explores themes of patriotism, gender roles and anxiety. It was a peek into a world I knew nothing about, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The author does a great job of depicting the unique burdens faced by military wives, who carry a disproportionate amount of the load at home while simultaneously fearing for their spouse’s life. The people in this book, wives and soldiers alike, are portrayed in a multidimensional and nuanced way. Overall, this was a great read, although it felt a bit longer than it had to be.
August 5, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley for this advance reader copy. Military life is a kind of a elite, but segregated world.. if you’re not military, you really don’t fit in but if you are military and you can mesh with others, it makes your life a lot easier. Simone discusses her life throughout the years and these facts are helpful for other is going through a similar situation. I live near a large base, and I see the women bonding with one another.. I appreciate all aspects of this book, and I learned a lot about military life. These women are courageous , possibly even more determined than their husbands who are out there battling for our country. The women are the ones that support these strong men, and this book tells you all about those struggles.
April 14, 2024
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A BOOK THAT SHOWS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A MILITARY SPOUSE? This is NOT the book for you.
I gave this book TWO stars because I had hope. Otherwise, it should’ve been a DNF after the first few chapters.
I want to be fair in my review because it was sold to potential readers as someone else’s experience as a military spouse - but this book wasn’t about her experience. It was more about Simone’s stance on all things political and honestly? A lot of looking down her nose at other people from start to finish.
I think my first cue that I should’ve put this book down was when I felt like I was constantly being preached to about history or what was going on in the world and (her opinion on) why it was happening. Or maybe it was the part where Simone came off as extremely anti American when she saw service members’ houses with an American flag flying in the front. Or it could’ve been the part where she and her husband drove through “enlisted housing” and saw women sitting on their front steps smoking a cigarette and being grateful they’d chosen to live in a rental rather than military housing.
But I slogged through it because I kept telling myself that surely it would get better. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
I see a lot of reviews looking down at Simone’s political views but that’s not the person I am. Mainly because (we’ve heard this so many times, I know) I just don’t do politics - even at 40 years old - but man, having picked up a book to read about someone’s experience as a military spouse and instead hearing about their political beliefs every other page of this book was HARD.
I want to keep writing a review but can’t. Otherwise I’d just be handing out spoilers. But here’s the biggest spoiler you can grab from me at this time: it’s not worth your time. Or money.
Short version:
This book isn’t about her experience as a military spouse. This book is about Simone’s political and moral stances. Every now and then she mentions other spouses, but that’s only about 15% of the book. The other 85% is her droning on and being judgmental.
I gave this book TWO stars because I had hope. Otherwise, it should’ve been a DNF after the first few chapters.
I want to be fair in my review because it was sold to potential readers as someone else’s experience as a military spouse - but this book wasn’t about her experience. It was more about Simone’s stance on all things political and honestly? A lot of looking down her nose at other people from start to finish.
I think my first cue that I should’ve put this book down was when I felt like I was constantly being preached to about history or what was going on in the world and (her opinion on) why it was happening. Or maybe it was the part where Simone came off as extremely anti American when she saw service members’ houses with an American flag flying in the front. Or it could’ve been the part where she and her husband drove through “enlisted housing” and saw women sitting on their front steps smoking a cigarette and being grateful they’d chosen to live in a rental rather than military housing.
But I slogged through it because I kept telling myself that surely it would get better. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
I see a lot of reviews looking down at Simone’s political views but that’s not the person I am. Mainly because (we’ve heard this so many times, I know) I just don’t do politics - even at 40 years old - but man, having picked up a book to read about someone’s experience as a military spouse and instead hearing about their political beliefs every other page of this book was HARD.
I want to keep writing a review but can’t. Otherwise I’d just be handing out spoilers. But here’s the biggest spoiler you can grab from me at this time: it’s not worth your time. Or money.
Short version:
This book isn’t about her experience as a military spouse. This book is about Simone’s political and moral stances. Every now and then she mentions other spouses, but that’s only about 15% of the book. The other 85% is her droning on and being judgmental.
October 31, 2023
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked this one up. I can’t identify with the experiences of a military wife. Still, I am a military mom of two, so I feel I have some knowledge of the sacrifices faced by military families. The lack of communication and the general anxiety felt when the world gets dangerous –are things familiar to me. This was an intriguing look at the life of a military wife, with all the difficulties and stress associated with having a spouse on deployment. I did feel, however, a pervasive sense of condescension throughout the book – as if the author only barely tolerated these other wives, especially those of enlisted men. It left me with a little bit of an uncomfortable feeling. The book highlighted the stresses of having a spouse in the military, especially one deployed for long periods. It made me grateful for those who serve faithfully next to their military spouses. Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and author, for an advanced copy. All opinions are my own.
April 28, 2024
I was surprised by some of the harsh criticism accusing the author of being too political or anti-military. She is sharing her experience and while she does share some opinions, they aren't presented as overly strident. She is simply presenting a snapshot of what it's like to be married to someone in the military, which appears to have very unique challenges. She is an incisive writer, and I would love to read a collection of her essays. Her narration reminded me of listening to a "This American Life" podcast.
May 10, 2024
I have SO many thoughts on this book. As a fellow military spouse, I am just deeply saddened by this memoir. I don't want to bash the author because I have some harsh criticism and I want her memoir to be hers. If you know me and want to chat about this...I really welcome others opinions.
May 16, 2024
Dear god, by the end, I was just turning pages. I’ll join the other military spouses who have read and hated this depiction. Don’t bother, y’all—this is 400 pages of wallowing in her own misery.
June 11, 2024
I wanna start by saying I NEVER leave negative reviews like this, if a book isn’t for me, I simply state why and move on! BUT If I could give this book zero stars I would. I got second hand embarrassment. I’d rather listen to nails on a chalk board than continue listening to this. It’s a no from me. This book screams “I’m a pick me and decided to write a book about it”. Military wives, you are smart, kind, and seen. Please do not read this book because it will infuriate you. The judgement this author spills in these pages is embarrassing. I can’t even believe she had the nerve to publish this.
November 26, 2023
This book The Military Wives is a powerful memoir about the wives of the men in the Army. Not knowing any military wives but one whose husband is in the coast guard, I know very little but this book is believable and I can only imagine how hard this life is! I think this author did a great job honoring the spouses in the military. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this early release in exchange for my honest review. To be published April 2024.
July 11, 2023
The memoir "The Wives" by Simone Gorrindo offers a powerful and intimate exploration of marriage, friendship, and community within a tightknit group of army wives. Gorrindo shares her personal journey of leaving her job in New York City to follow her enlisted husband to Columbus, Georgia, a place that feels completely unfamiliar to her.
As her husband is frequently deployed, Simone is left to navigate this new world alone. However, her life takes a significant turn when she meets the other army wives. Through her storytelling, Gorrindo provides readers with a profound glimpse into the inner lives of these women, highlighting their strength, resilience, and unique experiences. The bonds they form become an essential source of support and companionship in their shared challenges.
"The Wives" is not just a memoir about military life; it's a love story and a coming-of-age tale. Gorrindo beautifully portrays the evolution of her own marriage, capturing the complexities and sacrifices that are inherent in such relationships. The memoir also serves as a poignant reflection on the divisions that exist within America today. Gorrindo explores these divisions with honesty and courage, offering a thought-provoking perspective on the current state of the country.
What sets "The Wives" apart is the author's ability to weave together various themes and emotions into a cohesive narrative. Gorrindo's writing is both tender and unflinching, painting a vivid picture of her experiences and emotions. Her storytelling is compelling, drawing readers into her world and allowing them to empathize with her joys, sorrows, and everything in between.
Ultimately, "The Wives" is a rare and powerful memoir that offers a glimpse into a community often overlooked or misunderstood. It is a gift that provides hope and resilience, reminding us of the strength that can be found in human connection even in the face of adversity. Simone Gorrindo's memoir is a remarkable achievement that will resonate with readers long after they turn the final page.
As her husband is frequently deployed, Simone is left to navigate this new world alone. However, her life takes a significant turn when she meets the other army wives. Through her storytelling, Gorrindo provides readers with a profound glimpse into the inner lives of these women, highlighting their strength, resilience, and unique experiences. The bonds they form become an essential source of support and companionship in their shared challenges.
"The Wives" is not just a memoir about military life; it's a love story and a coming-of-age tale. Gorrindo beautifully portrays the evolution of her own marriage, capturing the complexities and sacrifices that are inherent in such relationships. The memoir also serves as a poignant reflection on the divisions that exist within America today. Gorrindo explores these divisions with honesty and courage, offering a thought-provoking perspective on the current state of the country.
What sets "The Wives" apart is the author's ability to weave together various themes and emotions into a cohesive narrative. Gorrindo's writing is both tender and unflinching, painting a vivid picture of her experiences and emotions. Her storytelling is compelling, drawing readers into her world and allowing them to empathize with her joys, sorrows, and everything in between.
Ultimately, "The Wives" is a rare and powerful memoir that offers a glimpse into a community often overlooked or misunderstood. It is a gift that provides hope and resilience, reminding us of the strength that can be found in human connection even in the face of adversity. Simone Gorrindo's memoir is a remarkable achievement that will resonate with readers long after they turn the final page.
March 10, 2024
The Wives: A Memoir
By: Simone Gorrindo
4🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
I could really relate to this memoir. I was an army brat and army wife and some of the things Simone went through were relatable.
🇺🇸
Simone and Andrew meet and he wants to join the military. She is used to NYC and when they go to Georgia, they both have no idea what to expect. He gets deployed quickly and she bonds with one of the wives.
🇺🇸
The wives you meet become family. The military life is one that is not easy, but you realize you are not alone.
🇺🇸
On a personal note:
I remember forming an FRG ( Family Readiness Group) meeting which helps families with meals, learning how to manage without their husbands and other personal stuff. During Desert Storm I realized how many spouses struggled with bills, children and dealing with deployments and loss. I was used to moving every 2-3 years and have been all over the world. I loved the military life and thankful I had strong parents and have friends from all over.
Thank you Galley/Scout Press for this advanced copy. This memoir is out April 9.
Triggers: 9/11, war, depression, drug dependency
#thewives, #simonegorrindo, #galley, #scoutpress, #bookreview, #booksconnectus, #stamperlady50, #bookstagram
By: Simone Gorrindo
4🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
I could really relate to this memoir. I was an army brat and army wife and some of the things Simone went through were relatable.
🇺🇸
Simone and Andrew meet and he wants to join the military. She is used to NYC and when they go to Georgia, they both have no idea what to expect. He gets deployed quickly and she bonds with one of the wives.
🇺🇸
The wives you meet become family. The military life is one that is not easy, but you realize you are not alone.
🇺🇸
On a personal note:
I remember forming an FRG ( Family Readiness Group) meeting which helps families with meals, learning how to manage without their husbands and other personal stuff. During Desert Storm I realized how many spouses struggled with bills, children and dealing with deployments and loss. I was used to moving every 2-3 years and have been all over the world. I loved the military life and thankful I had strong parents and have friends from all over.
Thank you Galley/Scout Press for this advanced copy. This memoir is out April 9.
Triggers: 9/11, war, depression, drug dependency
#thewives, #simonegorrindo, #galley, #scoutpress, #bookreview, #booksconnectus, #stamperlady50, #bookstagram
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April 1, 2024Why I Love It
By Fiora Elbers-Tibbitts
I usually prefer to read memoirs by people whose lives are completely different from mine. But at the onset of The Wives, our protagonist Simone Gorrindo’s world bears a lot of similarities to my own: she’s a woman in her late 20s based in New York City who works in book publishing, content with her shoebox apartment. That is, until her world is turned entirely upside down when her husband tells her he’s enlisted in the Army. And that’s where our paths diverge…
The Wives is the story of Gorrindo’s adjustment to life in rural Columbus, Georgia, where her husband is based and where, for months at a time, she has no one but the other Army wives to lean on. She goes to a book club, thrifts cheap furniture to fill her suddenly spacious house, scopes out a local coffee shop that reminds her of home, and struggles to find a renewed sense of purpose in a life so strictly dictated by her husband’s deployment schedule. All the while, she has no way of knowing if he’s safe.
Gorrindo writes with striking emotional honesty. Her loneliness is complicated, as is her relationship with her husband; she undoubtedly loves him, but can’t help but feel her own light has been dimmed for his higher calling. She worries about losing him. She worries about losing herself. The context here is specific, but the underlying question is universal: how much do we give of ourselves to the people we love?
By Fiora Elbers-Tibbitts
I usually prefer to read memoirs by people whose lives are completely different from mine. But at the onset of The Wives, our protagonist Simone Gorrindo’s world bears a lot of similarities to my own: she’s a woman in her late 20s based in New York City who works in book publishing, content with her shoebox apartment. That is, until her world is turned entirely upside down when her husband tells her he’s enlisted in the Army. And that’s where our paths diverge…
The Wives is the story of Gorrindo’s adjustment to life in rural Columbus, Georgia, where her husband is based and where, for months at a time, she has no one but the other Army wives to lean on. She goes to a book club, thrifts cheap furniture to fill her suddenly spacious house, scopes out a local coffee shop that reminds her of home, and struggles to find a renewed sense of purpose in a life so strictly dictated by her husband’s deployment schedule. All the while, she has no way of knowing if he’s safe.
Gorrindo writes with striking emotional honesty. Her loneliness is complicated, as is her relationship with her husband; she undoubtedly loves him, but can’t help but feel her own light has been dimmed for his higher calling. She worries about losing him. She worries about losing herself. The context here is specific, but the underlying question is universal: how much do we give of ourselves to the people we love?
February 10, 2024
I loved this book so much! Gorrindo perfectly captured what I experienced as the wife of an enlisted Special Operations soldier who deployed many times. The highs and lows, the characters who make the military community unpredictable and rich…I wish everyone would read this memoir so they would understand a bit more about this community I love so much and see what military spouses go through on the homefront and how we rely so intensely on each other. Gorrindo’s writing is gorgeous and the pace of the book moves fast, but without rushing through key moments and experiences. This is truly a must-read. I’d give it six stars if I could.
May 20, 2024
I wanted to love this and was super excited to see it as an April BOTM & Book Club choice. However, it fell short. I don’t want to negate Gorrindo’s experiences but I also don’t agree with her view of the military or the military lifestyle at all. I felt that this was written from a politically bias, stereotypical lense. There were so many beautiful moments that were overshadowed by negative narration and catastrophizing. I want to emphasize that I realize this is a memoir, but I don’t want this book to be main reference point for those unfamiliar with the military lifestyle. If that’s the case, you will be extremely disappointed (and mislead).
April 17, 2024
Do y’all remember the tv show Army Wives? They all lived on base and were up in each other’s lives like burrs on a long haired Australian Shepherd. Inseparable.
Okay, this is not really that or the author didn’t get her point fully across. I don’t know which.
I think maybe this author is a giant introvert IRL. The first half was basically internal chatter. I thought it would have been better titled The Wife.
The 2nd half covered a long deployment and her pregnancy and we start to see Simone’s vulnerable side and her need for The Wives. This was the stronger half of the story.
All this to say, I really rather liked this book and Simone’s story. But I did not leave feeling a sense of unity amongst the wives or get to hear nearly enough about their friendships. Maybe just a case of reading something I didn’t expect, not getting what I came for but rather liking it nonetheless.
Okay, this is not really that or the author didn’t get her point fully across. I don’t know which.
I think maybe this author is a giant introvert IRL. The first half was basically internal chatter. I thought it would have been better titled The Wife.
The 2nd half covered a long deployment and her pregnancy and we start to see Simone’s vulnerable side and her need for The Wives. This was the stronger half of the story.
All this to say, I really rather liked this book and Simone’s story. But I did not leave feeling a sense of unity amongst the wives or get to hear nearly enough about their friendships. Maybe just a case of reading something I didn’t expect, not getting what I came for but rather liking it nonetheless.
Want to read
April 22, 2024The Wives is a memoir about a woman's perspective of being a military wife.
My husband is an officer in the military so I definitely felt connected to this book already.
What I loved about this one? Gorrindo's writing is beautiful and descriptive. She really does a wonderful job of portraying what it would be like as an Army wife in Georgia. She explores the inner thoughts and overall happy/proud moments of being an Army wife.
Being a military wife is hard and is not easy at all. But, the other wives you meet become like family to you. You bond together through the challenges of not having your husband for months at a time and learning how to live through deployments, loss, and overall life.
What I loved seeing with Gorrindo's memoir is exploring those complex relationships of military wives together. Seeing the life long relationships formed and women lifting one another up.
Thank you so much to the author for providing me a copy.
My husband is an officer in the military so I definitely felt connected to this book already.
What I loved about this one? Gorrindo's writing is beautiful and descriptive. She really does a wonderful job of portraying what it would be like as an Army wife in Georgia. She explores the inner thoughts and overall happy/proud moments of being an Army wife.
Being a military wife is hard and is not easy at all. But, the other wives you meet become like family to you. You bond together through the challenges of not having your husband for months at a time and learning how to live through deployments, loss, and overall life.
What I loved seeing with Gorrindo's memoir is exploring those complex relationships of military wives together. Seeing the life long relationships formed and women lifting one another up.
Thank you so much to the author for providing me a copy.
June 16, 2024
As a military spouse, I honestly hated this book.
Before I talk about why I hated it, I want to outline the positives.
- Positives of this book
- reading the reviews, I see lots of people commenting saying they never realized how hard life is for military spouses. I applaud Simone for showing that it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and that it truly is hard. She did a great job of showing how in the dark we are kept, and how we are almost expected to cater to our husbands (she mentions how when he gets home from a deployment, they tell the wives not to ask anything of their husbands for at least 2 weeks), but there is never mention of when we wives will get a break after a long 6+ months of being alone with all the responsibilities that are normally shared between 2 or more people.
- I think that she did a good job of explaining how frequent deployments are, and the trainings in between. It makes the windows of time between deployments feel tiny when you calculate all the trainings and schooling and TDYs.
Negatives of this book
- In my opinion, Simone was not very supportive of her husband. Her POV was very me, me, me. Yes, military life is HARD, especially once you have children. However, she blamed him for his deployments and trainings, saying “you wanted to leave me”. To me, that was such an unfair thing to say to her spouse- he had no choice on when he’d get to leave and for how long, but it seemed like she was punishing him for it. Throughout the book she emphasizes how she just can’t wait for him to get home, but then once he does, all they do is argue because she’s mad at him for leaving her. In the time that I’ve been a military spouse, my husband has gone on countless TDYs, a short tour (a year away from my daughter and I 4 weeks after she was born), and 2 deployments. I have never once blamed my husband for any of these trips away. Are they hard? Absolutely. But you can’t blame your partner for things beyond their control.
- I felt Simone was very condescending towards her spouse friends. There’s nothing wrong with wanting better for your friends, but to say how they didn’t go to school so they have nothing in common with you, or their age, isn’t really fair and tbh I wouldn’t want to be friends with anyone that judgy. In the military community, you will meet so many people from all walks of life. Of course we will not vibe with every person we meet, but to be judgy of things that minor feels so shallow. I just felt like she genuinely thought she was so much better than people just because she had an education or was an older spouse, which isn’t true.
Everyone has an opinion, and maybe most won’t agree with mine about this book- but for me, I had to force myself to read it. I think if she’s still a military spouse, I hope she learned some empathy and where to direct her frustration with the military. It is not an easy life, but your partner shouldn’t come home to fights over nothing because you cannot find the words to say “I am frustrated with your job for making you do *blank*”.
Before I talk about why I hated it, I want to outline the positives.
- Positives of this book
- reading the reviews, I see lots of people commenting saying they never realized how hard life is for military spouses. I applaud Simone for showing that it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and that it truly is hard. She did a great job of showing how in the dark we are kept, and how we are almost expected to cater to our husbands (she mentions how when he gets home from a deployment, they tell the wives not to ask anything of their husbands for at least 2 weeks), but there is never mention of when we wives will get a break after a long 6+ months of being alone with all the responsibilities that are normally shared between 2 or more people.
- I think that she did a good job of explaining how frequent deployments are, and the trainings in between. It makes the windows of time between deployments feel tiny when you calculate all the trainings and schooling and TDYs.
Negatives of this book
- In my opinion, Simone was not very supportive of her husband. Her POV was very me, me, me. Yes, military life is HARD, especially once you have children. However, she blamed him for his deployments and trainings, saying “you wanted to leave me”. To me, that was such an unfair thing to say to her spouse- he had no choice on when he’d get to leave and for how long, but it seemed like she was punishing him for it. Throughout the book she emphasizes how she just can’t wait for him to get home, but then once he does, all they do is argue because she’s mad at him for leaving her. In the time that I’ve been a military spouse, my husband has gone on countless TDYs, a short tour (a year away from my daughter and I 4 weeks after she was born), and 2 deployments. I have never once blamed my husband for any of these trips away. Are they hard? Absolutely. But you can’t blame your partner for things beyond their control.
- I felt Simone was very condescending towards her spouse friends. There’s nothing wrong with wanting better for your friends, but to say how they didn’t go to school so they have nothing in common with you, or their age, isn’t really fair and tbh I wouldn’t want to be friends with anyone that judgy. In the military community, you will meet so many people from all walks of life. Of course we will not vibe with every person we meet, but to be judgy of things that minor feels so shallow. I just felt like she genuinely thought she was so much better than people just because she had an education or was an older spouse, which isn’t true.
Everyone has an opinion, and maybe most won’t agree with mine about this book- but for me, I had to force myself to read it. I think if she’s still a military spouse, I hope she learned some empathy and where to direct her frustration with the military. It is not an easy life, but your partner shouldn’t come home to fights over nothing because you cannot find the words to say “I am frustrated with your job for making you do *blank*”.
May 17, 2024
This book felt so flat to me. Almost monotone in a way I wasn’t expecting. I understand a memoir isn’t going to have surprise twists and didn’t-see-it-coming endings, but this was the kind of book I had to force myself to finish.
April 25, 2024
This book resonated with me on so many levels. It is to be noted thought that the author was a military spouse during a peak war time, making many deployments much more intense than some are now (from my small lens). My favorite themes of this book is that 1) a book club is always the answer 2) how she learned how to “marriage” with this group of gals around her. Their spouses all thought very similarly, and they helped each other through those early marriage years where they often felt resentful and alone (albeit those feelings misplaced) 3) the pressure to have kids (always) but in the military community, so that even when your spouse isn’t home, a part of him is “home”
Here’s a few of my favorite parts:
Did I even want to say no? The thought of leaving the army was strangely scary. I’d seen it a few times, spouses who kicked and screamed against the army, but when reenlistment came, they backed off. To exist outside of it was a struggle to learn how to grow in a different world.
Some people call it low empathy, but I think it’s about compartmentalization. They’re able to take whatever emotion they are experiencing and set it aside.
He needed to stay safe. But all I’d done was lay down more and more bricks on the wall we’d slowly been building since he joined the army. What if the wall grew so high we lost site of each other completely?
When they came home, their vision was so narrow because all they did oversees was plan, train, rest. Suddenly they had to take in electricity bills and credit card statements. They had to contend with their spouses frustrations. War was so much more straightforward.
Here’s a few of my favorite parts:
Did I even want to say no? The thought of leaving the army was strangely scary. I’d seen it a few times, spouses who kicked and screamed against the army, but when reenlistment came, they backed off. To exist outside of it was a struggle to learn how to grow in a different world.
Some people call it low empathy, but I think it’s about compartmentalization. They’re able to take whatever emotion they are experiencing and set it aside.
He needed to stay safe. But all I’d done was lay down more and more bricks on the wall we’d slowly been building since he joined the army. What if the wall grew so high we lost site of each other completely?
When they came home, their vision was so narrow because all they did oversees was plan, train, rest. Suddenly they had to take in electricity bills and credit card statements. They had to contend with their spouses frustrations. War was so much more straightforward.
May 30, 2024
Let me start by saying that I do not read many memoirs ever since being shocked that the memoir selected by Oprah for her September 2005 book club turned out to be fabricated. I was so disappointed and vowed to be highly selective in choosing future books of that genre.
With that being said, I found this memoir authentic, believable and worthy of being read.
I learned lots!
Ex: a “red message”. And who/how that was communicated.
Ex: the absolute necessity of other military wives for support, friendship and help!
Ex: having to consider a deployment timeline when deciding when to get pregnant so partner could return for birth/newborn stage.
Ex: If a solider re-enlists while deployed and signs overseas, the bonus is tax free.
I’ve seen some reviewers say that the book has an anti- American tone. I disagree. The author stated at the beginning that she was raised by anti-war parents, and that she initially did not want her partner going into the military. I find it refreshing she admitted that. She definitely didn’t enjoy her time on the base while he was deployed. But I don’t consider her dissatisfaction as anti-American. It was her experience, which I respect.
We come to the table of same situations (military life) but can experience it differently based on our own lives and everything we bring with us. A decent example is the Covid lockdown. We all went thru it universally. But some people glowed up, changed professions for the better or had positive life revelations. Some people have even said they’d love to go back to that locked down home life! And others were absolutely devastated in myriad of ways. Both experiences are valid.
Lastly, stay open minded and think outside the bubble of your own experiences. And if you’re ever burned by a specific “genre,” be willing to give another author of the same genre a try! You might be pleasantly surprised like I was!
Thank you for reading. 🫶
With that being said, I found this memoir authentic, believable and worthy of being read.
I learned lots!
Ex: a “red message”. And who/how that was communicated.
Ex: the absolute necessity of other military wives for support, friendship and help!
Ex: having to consider a deployment timeline when deciding when to get pregnant so partner could return for birth/newborn stage.
Ex: If a solider re-enlists while deployed and signs overseas, the bonus is tax free.
I’ve seen some reviewers say that the book has an anti- American tone. I disagree. The author stated at the beginning that she was raised by anti-war parents, and that she initially did not want her partner going into the military. I find it refreshing she admitted that. She definitely didn’t enjoy her time on the base while he was deployed. But I don’t consider her dissatisfaction as anti-American. It was her experience, which I respect.
We come to the table of same situations (military life) but can experience it differently based on our own lives and everything we bring with us. A decent example is the Covid lockdown. We all went thru it universally. But some people glowed up, changed professions for the better or had positive life revelations. Some people have even said they’d love to go back to that locked down home life! And others were absolutely devastated in myriad of ways. Both experiences are valid.
Lastly, stay open minded and think outside the bubble of your own experiences. And if you’re ever burned by a specific “genre,” be willing to give another author of the same genre a try! You might be pleasantly surprised like I was!
Thank you for reading. 🫶
May 11, 2024
I am torn on this one because it gave me a lot of empathy towards military wives, and the anxiety and fear that must become “normal”. Reading it I could almost feel the fear, and I can’t imagine living like that every day. I felt a lot of compassion for Simone and all the people embodied within these pages. I understand her struggling with almost a loss of identity (though not due the to same reason) and really felt for her. I am so glad to embraced the circle of wives to become a family.
However, Simone really pushes her political ideology. While I agree with her on a lot her views, including religion; I just really am not a fan of one’s personal views being so overt in a book. I get that it’s a memoir, and if she felt it was necessary to express regarding her situation, then who am I to judge. It’s just something that always irks me personally in books, even when I agree! I can look past a blatant view here and there, but it was a recurrent point throughout the book’s entirety. She also seems to have an air of superiority when it came to the other wives. I get being different and not fitting in, that is a feeling I understand deeply well. But I couldn’t relate. While I do think I’m smart, I also assume everyone is smarter and better than me. 😂 anyway, oddly at the same time, Simone also expresses true admiration for her fellow wives and their strengths. I’m here for that energy!
What I admire most about this book is the raw struggle shared. Also there is a lot of growth with Simone that every human can appreciate. I can’t say if a military wife would feel comforted reading this or not, but I would assume yes. I still enjoyed this read for the insight of what life must be life for these women.
However, Simone really pushes her political ideology. While I agree with her on a lot her views, including religion; I just really am not a fan of one’s personal views being so overt in a book. I get that it’s a memoir, and if she felt it was necessary to express regarding her situation, then who am I to judge. It’s just something that always irks me personally in books, even when I agree! I can look past a blatant view here and there, but it was a recurrent point throughout the book’s entirety. She also seems to have an air of superiority when it came to the other wives. I get being different and not fitting in, that is a feeling I understand deeply well. But I couldn’t relate. While I do think I’m smart, I also assume everyone is smarter and better than me. 😂 anyway, oddly at the same time, Simone also expresses true admiration for her fellow wives and their strengths. I’m here for that energy!
What I admire most about this book is the raw struggle shared. Also there is a lot of growth with Simone that every human can appreciate. I can’t say if a military wife would feel comforted reading this or not, but I would assume yes. I still enjoyed this read for the insight of what life must be life for these women.
May 7, 2024
When I saw this book as a BOTM choice I had no desire to read it. Why would I want to read an entire book about the life I am currently living? Well, my book club decided this was the book choice so I read it. I really hate to talk badly on memoirs because these are real people, with real feelings and real experiences... but this book was just not for me. For one, it was way too similar to my life. The life events were all too familiar. There was nothing really that exciting that took place. I kept waiting for something worth reading to take place but it never came. Just mundane military life. Aside from that, I became annoyed with Gorrindo's lack of support and negative outlook towards the military. She had a problem with her husband hanging an American flag? Kept talking about her husband being a murder? Her hate towards guns? And please do not even get me started on the chapter on Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump! Overall, I would not recommend this book and did not enjoy it at all. 2.5 stars.
April 1, 2024
A book that reminds us that there are sacrifices made at home too while our brave military fights Strong convictions and a good story to tell. For fans of Maid
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