This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl

by Esther Earl, Lori Earl, Wayne Earl

A collection of the journals, fiction, letters, and sketches of the late Esther Grace Earl, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 16. Photographs and essays by family and friends will help to tell Esther’s story along with an introduction by award-winning author John Green who dedicated his #1 bestselling novel The Fault in Our Stars to her.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Biography Memoir, Autobiography, Teen, Contemporary

448 pages, Hardcover

First published January 28, 2014

Reviews

[Lori Earl · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say? Esther, your writing is wonderful, funny, sad, poignant, silly, and more…Reading your words is like listening to you. Hearing your voice would be better, but having your words is good too. To your "I love you" I respond the way we did many nights as I tucked you into bed: "I love you more."

[Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have sat here forever trying to figure out what to say. This book made me cry in places and smile in others. But mostly it's just sad.



I have had this book and hundreds of books on my shelves forever. I still do. I have been trying to read as many as possible before my own fight against cancer begins in a week. I started getting mad and just grabbing a lot of books for mom to sell Monday before we go in the afternoon to get a mold of my pelvis. And... I came across this book on my shelf. I have had the hardback forever! I felt like God (yeah, GOD!) sent me back to that shelf for one more go around.

I found this book and realized it was about a girl that died of cancer. Well obviously I felt I had to read it right then and I did!

The only thing that turned me off is finding out the stuff about John Green. Yes, he wrote a great introduction but reading about how he used Ester to write his own book turned me right off. If someone inspires you to write a book about them then I'm all for that, but this just seemed weird. I don't know - enough about him. I'm glad I'm one of the few that picked up the book for what it was about and knew nothing about Ester. I guess I never read his acknowledgment in his book or movie.

I WISH there were tons more books like this - kids, the elderly, whoever writing their story about whatever disease they might have. There are a few books here and there that have been written that have some of my same mental disorders and they all helped me in their own way. This book did the same. There were things here and there that got through to me.

I also loved reading about interactions with Esther and her sibs, especially her brothers. Reading about her fangirling about Harry Potter and finding out about these Harry Potter bands and different groups of people I have never heard of in my life. I don't like social media that much and I don't watch the news or talk shows so I'm mostly out of the loop and I could care less.

I loved so much that Esther had all of these online friend in her group and her make a wish was to get together with them. Just little things here and there.

Either way, it helped me a little bit and if it does that for others, then I'm all for it.

Happy Reading!

Mel 🖤🐾🐺

[Lynda · Rating 5 out of 5]

ESTHER GRACE EARL
3 August 1994 - 25 August 2010
[16 years]

Many readers have had the pleasure of reading The Fault in Our Stars by the very talented author, John Green. John actually dedicated his book

TO ESTHER EARL

and in his acknowledgments stated

"Esther Earl, whose life was a gift to me and many."

After reading both the dedication and acknowledgement, I was intrigued to find out just who Esther Earl was. It did not take me long to learn that Esther (meaning "Star") was a phenomenal young lady. In November 2006, aged 12, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had already developed extensive tumors in her lungs. For four years she endured surgery, chemotherapy, and medications as she balanced the demands of a terminal illness with a teenager’s desire for fun.

Tethered by tubes to oxygen tanks that helped her breathe, Esther spoke to the world from her bedroom via the internet (she began making You Tube videos in late 2008 under the name cookie4monster4). A vibrant member of online communities, she formed lasting friendships with people around the world, charming thousands with her dimpled smile and cheery, loving presence.



Esther was a huge Harry Potter fan, as well as a dedicated "Nerdfighter". She invoked an iconic phrase from the online Nerdfighter community when she signed an entry,

“don’t forget to be awesome — love, Esther.’’

She became a celebrity when John Green posted a YouTube video encouraging people to vote “with Esther’’ in a contest. The prize was a $250,000 grant, and the outpouring for Esther garnered so many votes that the award went to the Harry Potter Alliance, a nonprofit founded in the US that promotes human rights, literacy, and disaster relief efforts.

This Star Won't Go Out is a glimpse into Esther's life, via a scrapbook-like biography told through Esther's own drawings, diary entries, handwritten notes, stories from her family, and a letter from one of her doctors. There is a beautiful and heartfelt introduction to the book by John Green:

"Esther's story belonged to her, and fortunately for us she was an extraordinary writer, who in these pages tells that story beautifully. I find comfort in that, but make no mistake: I am still pissed off that she died. I still miss her. I still find her loss an intolerable injustice. And I wish she'd read The Fault in Our Stars. I am astonished that the book has found such a broad audience, but the person I most want to read it never will."

A few days after turning 16 and a couple of weeks before she died, Esther set aside her normal playful demeanor and mused about how difficult it is to separate the twined strands of identity and illness.

“I sometimes wish I’d never gone through this and then I realize that if that happened, I wouldn’t be who I am, and then I get all, like, ‘Oh, that’s just confusing.’ But then sometimes I do wish it never happened, the cancer thing.’’

After her death the This Star Won't Go Out foundation was created by her family in her honor to financially help other young people struggling with cancer. Additionally, every year on Esther's birthday, August 3rd, people across the world participate in Esther day, a celebration of Esther's life and, as Esther requested, love and family.

This Star Won't Go Out is an encouraging and inspirational read about an empathetic and joyful young lady, so wise beyond her years, who loved so deeply and genuinely. She was focussed daily on a mission to comfort and care for others, and no matter what pain and agony she might have been going through, she refused to abandon her family and friends.

Esther Earl was an awesome person who did amazing things. She truly was a Star who shone light on all she met. It was a privilege to read this book; to celebrate her life and legacy.

RIP awesome girl x

[Matt · Rating 2 out of 5]

2/5

Time for me to be a douche about the "girl with cancer book." I'm not actually, but some will think so from my opinion.

The thing is, this book isn't quite what I expected, and something wasn't sitting right with me about the book as a symbol. Halfway through I formed my opinion as to why. I'll explain.

This states most of my case:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

The gripes of the above reviewer mirror most of my concerns but there's more to it than that. I have another beef with the publisher, DUTTON, an imprint of PENGUIN BOOKS. It's the same publisher as THE FAULT IN OUR STARS. That made me raise an eyebrow. And the intro of this book was the best writing in the book. And who wrote that? John Green.

Here's my beef:

Tragically, REALLY REALLY tragically, teenagers die from cancers. It's F'd up, but it happens. I respect Esther, her story, and I know it's important. But all of those other teens did not get books about their lives and stories, and some of them may have had just as nice families or friends or wisdoms to share. Maybe they wanted to be writers, too.

Don't throw stones at me yet. I'm saying this: If I'm being really honest about the whole publication of this book, I think it's a bit of a cash grab. I'm sure the people who would love this book the most ar ethe people who knew Esther personally, and some of the money is probably going to a foundation. Still..... I opened this review by saying I didn't want to be a douche, and I don't think I'm being one, but this feels cash-grabby.

Look, when the biggest YA book of the decade is still rolling out millions of copies, and months before the big movie premiere, this rolls out? My other eyebrow goes up.

Believe it or not, and I know I'm getting controversial and probably pissing people off, I picked up this book knowing that I would give it five stars, FIVE!, and recommend it to anyone with a heartbeat. I WAS READY TO FALL IN LOVE, BE INSPIRED! -- but I cannot. I was not.

It's all laid out in John Green's introduction: Esther, a wonderful girl, bumped into a famous author at a convention, and then she got famous because of him and he got more famous because of her, and John Green's publisher approached Esther Earl's parents, (but no other teens with cancer because they didn't know John Green) and published this book. A weighty volume, beautifully rendering her lifetime, on dense paper with heavy subject matter.

But as I read the first 200 pages and skimmed thoughtfully and patiently through the next 200, I asked myself -- "Besides showing how normal and sweet and generous and loving she is, and inspiring us to live better like most cancer stories do, what specifically did Esther's life or talents impart on us that I didn't already know about being a good person already? What does she get a book nationally published while others did not?"

I leave you to read this for yourself and answer that question.

Did Not Finish (MARCH 2014)

2/5
MH

[Farah 🌈]

I just know that this book will be beautiful, exceptional, and of course, awesome!
It's sad to mention that I didn't actually know Esther when she was alive. I discovered all the Nerdfighter awesomeness when I read The Fault in Our Stars in September of 2012. It has been an amazing experience to be a nerdfighter!
Like I said, I didn't actually know her but when I read about her and saw some of her uploaded videos, I couldn't help but feel the immense loss that everyone who knew her felt when she died in 2010. I just adore her. She will live as long as the nerdfighter community lives. This Star Won't Go Out.
RIA, Esther!

[May · Rating 1 out of 5]

¿Sabéis qué sensación es esa que se tiene cuando lees una historia terriblemente dura y cruel?
Así me he sentido durante todo el tiempo en el que he estado leyendo Una estrella que no se apaga, me sentía rota y no he parado de llorar.
Y me he sentido aún peor sabiendo que la historia que cuenta esta novela es real. REAL. Una historia de una niña a la que diagnostican cáncer y pasa en cuestión de meses de estar en el 99% de niñas que sobreviven al 1% que no lo hace.
Puedo entender que esta novela sea buena, que cuente una historia que merezca la pena leer. Pero yo he tenido que abandonarla. He tenido que dejar de leer a partir de la página ciento y pico porque no podía más.
No puedo leer la historia de Esther y disfrutarla sabiendo que fue una chica real, que lo pasó así de mal y que se murió. Sencillamente no puedo, es superior a mí.
Por eso mismo abandoné la novela y dejé de leer.
"No tenemos ninguna duda de que está más viva que nunca, pero nuestros corazones están rompiéndose..."

La novela está formada por un prólogo de John Green, ya que era amigo de Esther, cuentos y relatos de la misma y algunos textos escritos por sus familiares y amigxs.
Además todo viene acompañado de fotografías y dibujos de Esther y para mí ha sido insoportable ver las fotos de ella enferma.
Una estrella que no se apaga es una historia muy dura, muy cruel porque nos muestra cómo ataca el cáncer a las personas, muy tierna y sensible porque nos acerca a una joven fallecida por la enfermedad y sobre todo, una historia para personas fuertes que sean capaces de leerla.
En mi caso no he podido terminar la historia, aún sabiendo cómo acababa. No puedo leer algo tan duro porque lo paso fatal, he estado todo el tiempo llorando y no quiero ni puedo leer para pasarlo tan mal.
Sencillamente una historia para personas fuertes y que aguanten tanto dolor en tan pocas páginas.

[Sadie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I...wow. Okay, this is going to be difficult.

I mean I'm sure no one is going to see this anyway, because who honestly reads Review #3469, but I'm going to do this anyway.

The thing is, for a very brief time, I was the cancer girl. I was the one with a scarf instead of hair, I was the one with a skinny, chemo-ravaged body, I was the one who was bedridden. And as I start to tell my own story on paper, I gradually start to reach out for other people. People who understand what it feels like to be dying quicker than other people. So I guess you could say that Esther called out to me for...well, a while.

And you know, here's the god-honest truth: some people shine a light so brightly into this world and all of that brightness seeps into every dark corner and crevice until it no longer exists. Some of us are fortunate to know those kinds of people. Those who knew Esther were of that variety.

This book...this, god, this beautiful, moving thing! It's a very long eulogy, admittedly, that's kind of what it feels like. But to read Esther's words, and her parents' words, and those whose lives she irrevocably changed, is to slowly know her yourself.

And it makes her loss so particularly crushing in ways it isn't to the average joe.

John Green's said on a number of occasions that his biggest TFiOS disappointment is that the one person he wants most to read it is the one person who will never have the chance. In similar fashion, the one person I now want most to meet, I never will. But I feel that I have come just slightly closer, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Esther. Star Girl. You are the brightest star in the heavens. May you never cease to shine.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know it’s cliché to say this, but I truly have never been more thrilled to receive a book in the mail. Esther is up there with J. K. Rowling and Evanna Lynch on my list of supreme role models. I’ve never spoken to Esther, but the way her friends, family, and even those like me speak about her is inspiring. She passed away from thyroid cancer when she was my age, sixteen. In those sixteen years, she left a legacy of a loving, caring, and empathetic person. In the words of her friend Teryn, “Esther was not perfect, but she was the epitome of how to be imperfect.”

The book itself is beautifully organized — and even color-coded! — to tell her story, mainly with her journal entries and CaringBridge posts. Arielle, Esther and Teryn’s fellow Catitude member, designed a font of Esther’s handwriting that is used throughout the book. My usual problem with nonfiction — biographies in particular — is how impersonal they can feel. But the Earls, as they say of Esther, are welcomers. This book isn’t just sentence after sentence of facts about Esther’s life. It’s all the emotions and experiences of her, her family, and her friends from the comforting whirring of her oxygen machine to the late night Catitude chats. Catitude? I’ve never seen a group of friends quite like them, and Mr. and Mrs. Earl are among the best people I’ve had the pleasure to meet.

Holding this book for the first time was a fantastic feeling, and reading it was even better. When you get to page 293, just remember to tell me how hard you laughed. I’d like to say a special thanks to Esther’s parents for allowing me to help with the book and for thinking of me when early copies were being sent.

This Star Won’t Go Out. We won’t let it.

To purchase Esther’s book, you can find sellers listed here: tswgobook.tumblr.com/book

To learn more about the This Star Won’t Go Out Foundation, visit tswgo.org.

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have been a Nerdfighter since almost the beginning (mid-2007), and so it makes sense that I would read this book that John Green has mentioned multiple times and for which he wrote the introduction. But I would not have finished it if it weren't a book club read, and even then I almost abandoned it.

This is not so much a "book" as it is a giant collection of everything related to Esther Earl -- her diary entries, her family's CaringBridge updates, transcripts of some of her videos, reflections by friends and family members, her dad's eulogy of her, and even pieces of some fiction she'd started writing. I understand that when someone dies, especially someone as young as Esther, those who knew them take comfort in every word they wrote and every memory others share of them. And in that way, this book is great for those who knew Esther personally. But for anyone else, it's not so much a book as the source material for what could be a book. Based on other people's reflections of Esther, it seems like there is a lot of awesomeness and inspiration that the people who knew her took from knowing her, and that could have been put together into a cohesive story, interspersed with Esther's own words.

But reading the unedited diary entries of a teenager, even a teenager with cancer, makes me want to go burn all my old diaries. Like my own teenage writings, Esther's diaries contain stream-of-consciousness, overly dramatic retellings of every minute thing she did or thought each day, complete with frequent asides and text abbreviations that make them grating to read. I'm sure for someone who ever had a conversation with Esther or watched her videos, you could hear her personality come out in her writing, but for me it was a struggle to read. It was also a struggle to read detailed medical updates from the CaringBridge site about Esther's levels of something-or-other going up and down when I knew the eventual outcome of all those ups and downs, so I couldn't read into them the same hope or disappointment that people getting updates in the moment would have felt.

I probably would have given this 2 stars, but the kicker was that it was so badly edited and constructed. Because it was just a giant document dump, stuff was not labeled well and it was not always clear when I was reading someone's writing and when it was a transcript (especially because Esther's writing contained plenty of "umm"s and sentence fragments). Near the end there's some writing by her dad dated 2011, followed by writing by other family members that I eventually realized was written in 2013 but wasn't dated.

I wish someone had not been content to let this ride on the coattails of John Green / The Fault in Our Stars but had instead used it as source material to write a compelling true story about a girl with cancer who brought joy to the people around her, one that people who didn't know Esther would actually read and appreciate. As it is, this is a nice compilation for people who want to remember a girl they knew, but not worth slogging through for anyone else.

[Zoë · Rating 5 out of 5]

This really was a beautiful book. Esther Earl is so real and talented in her entries, letting the reader see what she is really going through. Of course she isn't perfect, but that's the great thing. No one in this book said that Esther was infallible, just a good person.

[C.S. Daley · Rating 5 out of 5]

My sister died when I was a sophomore in high school. She was only a few years older than me and her battle with cancer took up much of her young life. Her loss left a hole in the hearts of my brothers and sisters that we still feel to this day. She was the bravest person I know and I truly believe that every ounce of bravery and compassion I have in my body I learned from her. I miss her terribly.

I was afraid to read this book. I read the introduction by John Green and started crying. 30 years after my sisters death it was still hard to think about it. I put the book down. Tonight I decided to read it and I am glad I did. Esther's words were powerful. Her bravery was astounding. Her words and story made me love and cherish my sister even more. I am not going to pretend like this book will cause some sort of epiphany. I also don't believe the loss of Esther or my sister or any of the people we have all lost in our lives will suddenly have meaning. Will suddenly be transformed into a happy ending. Nothing will replace the lost years. What the book did do was give me a chance to remember my sister's courage. My sister's love. This was a book worth reading. I thank Esther and her family for letting me share it.

[Kyoko SWords · Rating 2 out of 5]

Uffff... no sé ni por donde empezar. Ah! sí, empezaré diciendo que tengo el alma de piedra porque este libro no me movió ni un cabello.
Claramente todos sabemos de qué va, pero yo no estaba preparada para él, toda la lectura en vez de conmoverme simplemente me sentí morbosa y entrometida. Contaba las palabras para que acabara pronto.
Lamento decir que la única parte que realmente me dolió fue ver la resignación de la familia al despedir a Esther en su último día, de resto este libro fue tremendamente agotador para mí.
Es que la verdad no sé cuál pueda ser el objetivo de publicar todo el sufrimiento personal de una pequeña que ve como todos los días se le agota el tiempo. Puedo entender que tal vez el dinero recaudado con su publicación y venta hayan sido dirigidos a beneficencia (supongo Y ESPERO que así es), pero siento que realmente es demasiado publicar hasta su diario.
No tengo ni idea qué era lo que se quería lograr al publicar esto (además de ganar dinero), así que mucho menos voy a saber qué pensar al respecto. Paso de este libro, de recomendarlo o de volver a leerlo alguna vez en mi vida.
1,5 porque la edición era llamativa e impecable. El contenido era demasiado extenso y sigo sin entender la falta de filtro en esta obra.

[Laurence R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Esther,

I do not know you, and you certainly don't know me. I mean, I was born four years later than you were and during all our lives, we've been separated by miles and miles, even by borders. I wasn't part of Nerdfighteria when you were and I don't even know if I had a Facebook account when you were still alive, let alone a Youtube account. However, your story touched me so, so, so much.

Life is unfair, we all know it. Some of us, like me, have been blessed enough to have a relatively easy life so far and to only see illnesses and death from a very far away perspective. However, reading your journals, watching your videos, and hearing people talk about you has made me realize how unfair your life was. How could a person so radiant, so cheerful and so smart like you have to go such hard times? I know from your own words that you became okay with the fact that you had cancer and that your faith has helped you a lot with that. This is a truly fantastic thing, especially from the point of view of an atheist like me. I have always envied people who belong to a religion, because I can imagine how much easier it can be to think that everything happens for a reason. This book proved my thoughts, because you made it sound so easy.

I loved the person you were, or at least the idea I got of the person you were. I know that I could never get to know you as much as I want to, because I've only seen a glimpse of the person you were, but I do know that everyone around you was lucky to have you. I don't know what you would think of people like me, who read your book, your journal, even, watch your videos, hear your friends talking about you and end up loving you. I hope you'd like it, because everyone has described you as a 'welcomer', a loving person who accepted everyone. I love that about you. That's the way more people should be. In a way, you're a bit like how everyone should be: caring, passionate, intelligent, confident. I'm not saying you were perfect, but I do think you were an awesome person.

My thoughts go to your friends, to your family, to your cats. As weird as it must be for them to see you become some sort of celebrity, I hope they accept the support we are willing to give them, because your book has truly made my eyes open. From Heaven (because I know that's where you are, even though I am in no way religious), I hope that you're happy that your cause has brought so many of us together to make the world a better place to live in, even though you will never have this chance again and it's breaking my heart. Don't forget to be awesome, Esther, while we'll never forget how bright a star you were.

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This will forever be so surreal. Gratitude and sadhappiness always. I love you Esther.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't think any words will do justice for how powerful, emotional and important this book is. I might do a review once I calm down.

[Isa Cantos (Crónicas de una Merodeadora) · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Y me gustaría que hubiese leído Bajo la Misma Estrella. Me asombra que el libro haya tenido tantos lectores, pero nunca llegará a manos de la persona que más deseo que lo lea". RIGHT. IN. THE. FEELS.



Yo... es que ni siquiera puedo superar el hecho de que la historia de una persona que no conoces y que nunca conocerás te llegue tanto. Sus palabras en el diario, las cartas que escribe a sus padres, todo.

Este libro está diseñado para patear una y otra vez tu corazón, para aplastar todos y cada uno de tus feels y para que, al final, termines hecho una bolita llorando en la esquina de tu cama. Y, además, con unas ganas masoquistas de releer Bajo la Misma Estrella MIENTRAS ves la película.

[Ceyda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Keşke bitmeseydi
Keşke Esther'la vedalaşmak zorunda kalmasaydım.
Tek söyleyebileceğim, Esther'la tanışamadığım için çok şanssızım ama bu kitap sayesinde 'tanıyabildiğim' için şanslıyım.
This star won't go out.

[Annemarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As this is a non-fiction book that deals with a very serious topic, I don't want to write too much about it. I'm not in a position to judge Esther's life.

All I can say is that she was an amazing and inspiring girl, something that gets very clear when you read her story.
The book is lovely crafted, it definitely honours her in every way.
I got through it very quickly and did shed some tears in the end.

[Hailey (Hailey in Bookland) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartbreakingly beautiful story that everyone should read. Truly inspiring.

Rest in paradise beautiful

[kari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Prepare to shed some tears with this one.
The story of Esther Grace Earl's too-short life is beautifully contained with these pages. There are journal entries, transcripts of some internet conversations, commentary from her parents and friends, drawings.
What struck me as a reader is that Esther sounds like just an ordinary girl, musing about the things teenage girls think about coupled with some very deep thoughts about life or the loss of her life and what she has and possibly will miss out on. I think that she would like being thought of as ordinary. And yet there is something extraordinary about her as well. She was courageous because she had to be, but that wasn't a simple thing, nor was that all that she was. Funny, smart, sometimes sad or angry, loving and loved.
This book needs to be experienced. Although well over 400 pages it is a fast read.

[Manar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to admit that I'm biased, but I thought this book was fantastic. I wish so badly that I still had the option of talking to Esther whenever I wanted, but at least I can read her beautiful words at any time.

[Joost · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Green schreef The Fault In Our Stars door Esther Grace Earl. Esther (Perzisch voor ''Star'') kreeg op haar twaalfde kanker. Ondanks haar ziekte, bleef ze positief en was ze een vrolijk en creatief meisje. Ze wilde later schrijfster worden, besteedde veel tijd aan bloggen en schrijven en hield ontzettend veel van haar familie en vrienden. In 2010 stierf ze op zestienjarige leeftijd. Hoewel ze niet meer leeft, leeft haar verhaal voort in de harten van duizenden mensen.

Dit boek zag ik in de boekhandel liggen met 70% korting en binnen één seconde wist ik dat ik dit boek mee naar huis wilde nemen. Dit was niet zo zeer omdat John Green een verband had met dit boek, maar meer omdat het meisje op de voorkant me zo aansprak. Ze zag er zo lief uit, maar had wel iets naars te verbergen. Ik las de achterkant van dit boek en ik kon niet wachten om te beginnen in dit boek.
Toen ik vorige week in het ziekenhuis terecht kwam, vroeg ik aan mijn moeder of ze dit boek mee kon nemen. Dit boek zat niet in mijn TBR-lijst voor oktober, maar ik vond dit het juiste moment om te lezen, aangezien ik door het infuus en het ziekenhuis me vast meer kon inleven in Esther (gelukkig zat ik niet voor dezelfde reden als Esther in het ziekenhuis). Ik sloeg het boek open en mijn wereld draaide toen alleen maar om Esther Grace Earl, mijn wereld om de ongelooflijk mooie ster Esther.

Ten eerste is de lay-out van dit boek echt prachtig. Het boek voelt zwaar aan, zit vol met vrolijke en felle, maar zachte kleuren. Ook zitten er veel foto's en tekeningen van Esther in, waardoor je nog meer betrokken raakt bij het verhaal. Het geeft een mooi beeld weer van het leven van Esther.

Dan het verhaal. Het boek wordt geïntroduceerd door John Green, die vertelt hoe hij Esther heeft ontmoet en wat voor impact zij voor zijn leven had. Hij had veel respect voor Esther en noemt dingen over haar die je lichtjes kan terugvinden in The Fault In Our Stars, zoals ''infinity''. Hij benadrukt dat Esther niet dezelfde persoon is al Hazel. Esther was de inspiratie voor Green om zijn wereldberoemde boek te gaan schrijven, maar dit betekent niet dat Hazel de nieuwe Esther is. Ze verschillen nog best veel van elkaar, maar ze hebben wel dezelfde vorm van kanker.

Na het voorwoord van John Green kan het verhaal van Esther beginnen. Je maakt het hele leven van Esther mee, van begin tot eind. Aangezien Esther dol was op schrijven, heeft ze enorm veel tekst geschreven wat terugkomt in het boek. Ook de berichten op de blog van Esther en die van haar ouders komen terug. Je leest hoe Esthers leven op haar kop werd gezet toen ze werd geconstateerd met kanker. Haar familie moest weer wonen in de Verenigde Staten en ze had het erg zwaar. Maar Esther bleef sterk, en haar liefde voor familie en vrienden was als een vlam die niet te doven was.

Esther komt in het boek over als het meest lieve, creatieve en vrolijke meisje. Ja, uiteraard voelde ze zich naar door haar ziekte, maar desondanks bleef ze zo veel aandacht geven aan de mensen om wie ze gaf. Bij verjaardagen geeft ze altijd een brief aan haar ouders dat ze zo veel van hen houdt, echt één van de liefste dingen die een dochter voor haar ouder kan doen. Daarbij vertelt ze ook over haar grote droom om ooit gezoend te worden door een jongen (wat haar jammer genoeg niet gelukt is), dat was zo aandoenlijk om te lezen! En haar Make a Wish was om samen af te spreken met haar vrienden die ze online kent via de Nerdfighters (volgelingen van de gebroeders Green), wat groots werd uitgepakt. Het was zo fijn om te lezen dat Esther haar wens kon laten vervullen en je merkte gewoon dat ze de mooiste tijd van haar leven had. Esther is zo'n geweldig meisje, ze had mijn hart veroverd, en uiteindelijk ook gebroken. Het was vreselijk om te lezen dat ze aan haar einde kwam, maar ze heeft wel een enorme stempel op de wereld achtergelaten. This Star Won't Go Out...

Dit boek is een aangrijpende tranentrekker, maar waarbij de fijne dingen van het leven van Esther ook goed naar voren komen. Esther is niet alleen inspiratie voor John Green, maar nu ook voor duizenden andere mensen. Haar wilskracht, moed, liefde en tederheid zal nooit vergeten worden. Ik kan dit boek niets anders dan een 10 geven.

http://nerdygeekyfanboy.blogspot.nl/2...

[Annie♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

4.5

Este libro me ha hecho llorar, pensar que es una historia real me parte el corazón.

Hablemos un poco sobre Esther… a la edad que ella tenía era MUY madura, muy optimista e inteligente. Por no agregar que era talentosa (al momento de escribir y dibujar)

Siempre trataba de sacar lo mejor de cada persona, y ayudarlos a aceptar sus defectos, corregir sus errores y sentirse mejor fuera cual fuese la situación.

Con lágrimas en los ojos, con un nudo en la garganta y el corazón en un puño puedo decir que este libro es hermoso.
No es —ni por cerca— una obra maestra, pero te remueve lo que sea que tengas por dentro.

[Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just a note: I won this in a Goodreads Giveaway. Thanks Penguin!
"But even in her final days, Esther was wholly alive, as alive as anyone else, and so even though everyone who loved her understood she was dying, her death was still a terrible shock to me. She did not leave slowly, but all at once, because even when she could not get out of bed, she found ways to be fully alive: to play with her friends, to crack jokes, to love and to be loved. And then she was gone, all at once." -John Green's intro
Yeah, that's how it starts off. If you can make it through this whole book without shedding a single tear, you have balls of steel.
I would love to summarize this in my own words, but I'm going to let Esther do it for me: "This is a story about a girl that went through a life changing experience known as Thyroid Cancer. It's not one of those dramatic "based on a true story" cancer things, especially since Thyroid Cancer is not as bad as caner. It's a story about me, Esther Earl, having a sickness that's pretty scary."
This book could actually be labeled more as a diary. It had multiple articles in it from Esther's own diary to Skype chats with her online friends. Going into this book I knew nothing about Esther Grace Earl, in fact (I feel terrible saying this) I didn't even know she existed. I thought The Fault in Our Stars was something Green had just made up. After reading his inspiration for it, I now view TFIOS differently. Esther was an amazing girl who was so much more mature and spiritual than most teenagers. One quote of her's really made me sit down and think: "If one person sits down at their computer one day and types one word, does that affect the future?" Like dang, she was only fourteen when she wrote that down. She was just too kind and wise for this world, and God had to take her back.

At the beginning of the book, you know the date of her death. Most diary entires have dates on the top. The further you go and the closer the horrible date comes, the more pain you feel for the family knowing certain things she does will be her last. If only this were fiction, it wouldn't be so bad. But it's not. This happens to real people all the time. And this happened to the Earl family. The articles from family and friends are so heart-wrenching, you can feel their pain and it will make your heart feel funny.

There's only two negative things about this book, and neither of them have to do with Esther (because how can you feel any negativity towards such an amazing and bright girl?!). 1) I have a hardcover copy and it's super heavy and hard to hold. It's not a big deal, just made it a little uncomfortable to read.
2)Some of the dates were out of order, so just make sure you're keeping track of them. I don't know if it was intentional or just an editing glitch.
OH! And one more thing before I go. Do not under any circumstance read pages 320-330, unless you like getting your heart ripped out of its rib caged and smashed to pieces by a demon wearing soccer cleats.
As far as I have seen, to know you is literally to love you. John Green to Esther

[Stella Wenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

Does having terminal illness somehow makes people stronger? I wonder a lot about this throughout the book. Having both my parents suffered cancer (specifically my mother who had the same trouble breathing without oxygen nasal cannula like Esther) and having so many friends in net world, I can relate to this book so much. Perhaps that's one of the reasons why I wanted to read this book, to remember my parents, to remember their suffering, so that I still remember to honor and respect them, to keep them alive inside of me.

So, does having terminal illness somehow make people stronger? Do people become stronger when they know that they don't have much time leave? Or do people become stronger because families and friends would come to you and giving you much supports and loves? I wouldn't know the answer to these questions, but I always admire how my mother became so much stronger back then, and in this book I see Esther becomes stronger because of her illness.

It's amazing to see how big her influence to this world. So many charities held to honor her short life. So many people felt touched and moved and did good things because of the ripple effect of her death. This star would certainly never go out.

Also, I really understand how Esther's friends felt when Esther died. Their net world was in deep mourning but their real world went on like nothing happened. I have many online friends that I'd be depressed for if they were dying. Online friends are still real friends.

The measure of a friendship is not its physicality but its significance. Good friendships, online or off, urge us toward empathy; they give us comfort and also pull us out of the prisons of our selves.

Actually, this book is more 4 stars to me, there are quite many topics in Esther's writings that I don't really care about. But I cried hard when I reach the part that Esther died. I cried in my office. So half a star added. And I can't still get over of how awesome and beautiful and fitting the title is. This Star Won't Go Out—that's like the most beautiful title I've ever come across.

When loved ones die, people always say, “Don’t be sad. I’m sure they would have wanted you to be happy.” I’m sure that’s true. But let’s be realistic here, people also want to be missed. It is every person’s nightmare to leave the world behind as if they had never been there at all.

Thanks to Belle/Yuki for letting me borrow this book :*

[Beverly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rarely take the time to review books, mostly because I don't tend to have super interesting things to say, but this is different. I had the pleasure of meeting Esther via Skype at Infinitus 2010 and it is something that I will never forget. Cancer is a tough subject for me, as my dad passed away from cancer in April 2010. Meeting Esther just a couple of months later was both hard and touching but I was immensely impressed with how well she dealt with her illness. A year after Esther passed away, I became ill and I lived with an undiagnosed illness for the next year and a half. While I was lucky enough to find a cure for my illness, living with a disease sucks. And unless you have been in that situation, you cannot come close to understanding the exhaustion, the hopelessness, and how useless you feel. Reading Esther's entries helped me to come to term with the feelings I had during my illness because she UNDERSTOOD EXACTLY. Of course she did. And while I wouldn't wish that kind of experience on anyone, I will always cherish this book for helping me see the hope and light in life, no matter what.

[Allegra S · Rating 3 out of 5]

It feels weird to review this book. What Esther wrote she wrote for own eyes, it wasn't something she originally meant to have published. It wouldn't be right to critique her thoughts. In fact, I really enjoyed reading her thoughts. I will be mainly critiquing the organization and presentation of these thoughts as a book.

People who will enjoy this book are: people who knew Esther either personally or through her online presence, people who want to see the connection between her and John Green's novel TFIOS, teens struggling with serious illness that need someone to relate to, particularly if they are Christian.

I really enjoyed the excerpts written by John Green. I also thought the presentation of the book was amazing. The photos they chose were perfect, and I love the full-colour print on every page. Where I struggled with this book and failed to give it 5-stars was because it didn't quite live up to certain expectations. It's not quite a memoir or a published diary. Firstly, it starts at a point in Esther's life where she has had cancer already for two years and it is 200 pages of her diary and letters talking about her family, struggling with her illness, and finding a renewed faith. Then there are quite a few pages of her parent's online blog to inform friends and family of Esther's condition for a year. Then it jumps back in time and suddenly the whole book is about Esther's involvement with a group of online friends interspersed with her parent's blog. If I hadn't read John Green's introduction I think I would have been pretty confused about what was happening in her life.

First of all - they should have arranged everything in absolute chronological order, otherwise it's really too confusing to follow. Her parents said that Esther wrote every single night, so they obviously had a lot of material to work with. When I think of something like this I think of the Diary of Anne Frank and how her father only slightly edited out the parts that were too sexually explicit. I think they should have actually put MORE of Esther's diary entries into the book, even small excerpts of fiction along the way. It skips over months of time, so it's clear that things have been edited. Secondly, I know it's hard to boil a person's life down to one story, but when you create a book you have to take an 'angle' on the story in order to make it readable. It could have been either her diary from when she was diagnosed until her death, OR they could have had several entries when she described her loneliness and then how she found happiness in having an online presence. Third, though I love the messages that all of her internet friends - I wish they hadn't put them all at the end! It reads like a really long eulogy. I wish they had had various entries and excerpts from her friends interspersed with her writing so you got a better sense of how they became friends and supported Esther in her loneliness. This would have been particularly interesting if they had some of the messages between John Green and Esther. I think if they had changed the organization a bit I would have gotten a better sense of who Esther was as a person. As it stands things are bit choppy in my mind.

I did enjoy several things that were written. One thing that stood out to me was that her father was quite religious and along the way you start to see subtle clues that he was beginning to question his faith. In one of the blog entries he writes "our faith remains, but it is changed". In the end though my favourite part was Esther's message which said: "Just be happy. And if you can't be happy, do things that make you happy. And if you can't do that, do nothing with the people that make you happy." Isn't that the meaning of it all? :)

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of the hardest reviews I've ever written. Esther seem like she a great kid, creative, articulate, and kindhearted. I'd give Esther the person 5 stars. But I'm not rating what the I think of Esther, I'm rating the book her family put together after her death. THIS STAR WON'T GO OUT (TSWGO) includes Esther's drawings, a few poems, parts of short stories, instant messages, and portions of her journals and also comments by her family, friends, and writer John Green, who use Esther as inspiration to finish THE FAULT IN OUR STARS (TFIOS). He's quite clear that Hazel isn't Esther and Esther isn't Hazel.

Reading Esther's diary entries, I almost felt like I was hearing her voice. I felt like I had a good idea if who she was, although I did see TFIOS and read the book, so I may have been channeling Shailene Woodley's performance. The same writing that helped me envision Esther also annoyed me, because although she's a teenager and I expect to read some teen talk, the number of times I read "duh" and other teen-speak words detracted from her story and the writing. Again, this is where my feelings for Esther and the book diverge. Her writing was engaging, thoughtful and mature for a kid who wrote a journal, never expecting it to be published (or did she?). She had some artistic talent too. There were a lot of repetitive journal entries, I admit to skipping over some of them, particularly the number of religious references. After finishing TSWGO I felt like I had a good idea who Esther was. She was deeply loved by her friends and family.

I loved the way TSWGO was presented, including of furious pictures throughout the pages. Putting some commentary from her parents to clarify where Esther was in her illness and treatment framed her journal entries and gave me a window into how much kids with cancer have to endure. I read the book with my kindle app on my iPad and there were some formatting issues that might have been corrected if I read in my kindle, this in no way effects my review, it's just an FYI. There was some confusion with dates out of chronological order and comments between the sections that didn't say who wrote them, and that made me stop and try to figure out who wrote what. That wasn't a kindle app problem.


I'm a cancer survivor and I know many cancer survivors and those who have passed. The side effects seem so much crueler on children. While I loved Esther, the only unique part of her book for me was her relationship with John Green, which I feel almost guilty saying. Most kids who have cancer and treatment develop mature insight, empathy, kindness. This is because of their suffering and spending so much time around other kids with cancer, as well parents, doctors and other medical personnel due to health limitations children. I'm not saying Esther isn't special, she clearly was, but no more so than any other kid who has died from cancer. In my opinion, if not for publicity from having been befriended by John, TSWGO wouldn't have been published, but instead would have been something to share with family and friends. I'm sure many people will buy TSWGO, because of the popularity of John Green and TFIOS much more so than the quality and and interest of the book itself.

I finished the book in a day, but skipped over the religious parts and some of her fiction and other writings. I had a hard time coming up with the number of stars. I think kids with cancer, teenagers and adults who love TFIOS, her friends, family, some YA readers will love the book. People who take Esther and the book as one in the same will probably like the book more than me. TSWGO isn't a book I'd read twice. I was glad I borrowed rather than purchased it. If I had bought a paperback, I'd donate rather than keep it. For the stars: Esther as a kid is a 5, but that isn't part of the book review. The unique format and multiple contributors is 4 stars, the writing and interest level a 2 to 2.5. So a mixed 3 stars.

[♠ TABI⁷ ♠ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of an amazing girl who faced death with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. It's a story about a girl who lived, was real; loved and was loved back.

This isn't a story to hate, only to read. As you read, you will see just how bright of a light Esther was, and no amount of celebrity friends or popularity made her that or changed her. She was a girl, she lived, and then sadly she died. It's not a glamorous story, nor is it a unique one.

The only unique thing about this, was Esther herself. When you read this book, you will laugh, cry, and feel things the way she did. You will wish she was alive so you could hug her and tell her just how awesome she is and how strong to be smiling through all of this.

Yes, she is one in a million stories and yes there are other children who deserve just as much attention as she did. So don't complain about the ones who didn't get a book like Esther did. Read this book, then go find those other childrens stories. As long as they are remembered and read, even if they are not, they are just as important as Esther was.

Don't forget to be awesome.