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Please eat...: A mother's struggle to free her teenage son from anorexia
Bright, popular and a star on the rugby pitch, 15-year old Ben had everything he could want. But then food-loving Ben began to systematically starve himself. At the same time his urge to exercise became extreme. In a matter of months Ben lost one quarter of his bodyweight as he plunged into anorexia nervosa, an illness that threatened to destroy him.
Please eat… A mother’s struggle to free her teenage son from anorexia is his mother’s heart-breaking yet inspirational account of how she watched helplessly as her son transformed into someone she didn’t recognise, physically and mentally. It also describes how, with the help of his parents and therapist, and through his own determination, Ben slowly began to recover and re-build his life.
Now with new Epilogue (November 2014)
"Cancel your plans for the day when you open this the riveting story will have you caring and cheering for a family that the world needs to meet. If only the world knew the truth told in this memoir!" Laura Collins, Founder of F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) & Author of Eating with Your Anorexic
"The world is slowly coming to realise that 'Boys Get Anorexia Too'. Bev Mattocks writes honestly and from the heart about helping her teenage son to overcome anorexia. Like ours, this is another success story of a family working together with friends, school and clinicians to beat this insidious illness. Many families will find great comfort from reading this story as well as much needed energy to fight the eating disorder." Jenny Langley, Author of Boys Get Anorexia Too
"An essential read for anyone trying to understand more about eating disorders in teenage boys. Bev Mattocks describes the story of her son’s anorexia but also provides insight for other families facing this complex illness in a world where anorexia is still associated with teenage girls. Totally recommended." Sam Thomas, Founder, Men Get Eating Disorders Too
"A powerful, painful account, beautifully written... this book will benefit parents in reducing isolation and feeling more powerful when speaking with healthcare providers." Becky Henry, Founder of Hope Network, LLC & Award Winning Author of Just Tell Her To Family Stories of Eating Disorders
"Bev Mattocks is doing such amazing work empowering other parents and helping to raise awareness that boys get eating disorders too." Leah Dean, Executive Director, F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders)
"This is a wonderful book. It's quite hard to read because the story is so painful, but easy to read because of the clarity and simplicity of style." Gill Todd, RMN MSc, former Clinical Nurse Leader at the Gerald Russell Eating Disorders Unit, Bethlem & Maudsley Hospitals, London
"I have just finished Please eat… and it such a powerful page turner! Bev Mattocks has captured the complexity of her family’s journey so honestly, bravely and with such clarity of writing. It is a compelling read." Susan Ringwood, Chief Executive, BEAT
"Please eat… is gut wrenching and touching. It captivated me and I could hardly breathe as I was reading it. I read the first 6 chapters in one sitting. Bev Mattocks has done such a great job of bringing her story to us in a vivid and personal way." Parent
Please eat… A mother’s struggle to free her teenage son from anorexia is his mother’s heart-breaking yet inspirational account of how she watched helplessly as her son transformed into someone she didn’t recognise, physically and mentally. It also describes how, with the help of his parents and therapist, and through his own determination, Ben slowly began to recover and re-build his life.
Now with new Epilogue (November 2014)
"Cancel your plans for the day when you open this the riveting story will have you caring and cheering for a family that the world needs to meet. If only the world knew the truth told in this memoir!" Laura Collins, Founder of F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) & Author of Eating with Your Anorexic
"The world is slowly coming to realise that 'Boys Get Anorexia Too'. Bev Mattocks writes honestly and from the heart about helping her teenage son to overcome anorexia. Like ours, this is another success story of a family working together with friends, school and clinicians to beat this insidious illness. Many families will find great comfort from reading this story as well as much needed energy to fight the eating disorder." Jenny Langley, Author of Boys Get Anorexia Too
"An essential read for anyone trying to understand more about eating disorders in teenage boys. Bev Mattocks describes the story of her son’s anorexia but also provides insight for other families facing this complex illness in a world where anorexia is still associated with teenage girls. Totally recommended." Sam Thomas, Founder, Men Get Eating Disorders Too
"A powerful, painful account, beautifully written... this book will benefit parents in reducing isolation and feeling more powerful when speaking with healthcare providers." Becky Henry, Founder of Hope Network, LLC & Award Winning Author of Just Tell Her To Family Stories of Eating Disorders
"Bev Mattocks is doing such amazing work empowering other parents and helping to raise awareness that boys get eating disorders too." Leah Dean, Executive Director, F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders)
"This is a wonderful book. It's quite hard to read because the story is so painful, but easy to read because of the clarity and simplicity of style." Gill Todd, RMN MSc, former Clinical Nurse Leader at the Gerald Russell Eating Disorders Unit, Bethlem & Maudsley Hospitals, London
"I have just finished Please eat… and it such a powerful page turner! Bev Mattocks has captured the complexity of her family’s journey so honestly, bravely and with such clarity of writing. It is a compelling read." Susan Ringwood, Chief Executive, BEAT
"Please eat… is gut wrenching and touching. It captivated me and I could hardly breathe as I was reading it. I read the first 6 chapters in one sitting. Bev Mattocks has done such a great job of bringing her story to us in a vivid and personal way." Parent
- GenresNonfictionMental Health
268 pages, Paperback
Published March 8, 2013
13 people are currently reading
435 people want to read
About the author
Bev Mattocks
8 books11 followersBEV MATTOCKS lives in the north of England with her husband and son, and works as a freelance advertising copywriter. She is a member of FEAST (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) and writes a popular blog about her experiences of supporting her teenage son through anorexia.
For more information, visit http://anorexiaboyrecovery.blogspot.c... and www.bevmattocks.co.uk
For more information, visit http://anorexiaboyrecovery.blogspot.c... and www.bevmattocks.co.uk
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 18, 2015
This is an honest and insightful account of how Bev Mattocks supported her son Ben as he journeyed through the hell of anorexia and out into the light. Her story is typical of many parents' experience with the illness. She hunted high and low for information and support, she battled the shamefully inadequate health system, she attended to her son's schooling and social life, dealt with enormous tensions at home, and made some heart-warming friends along the way. This is also very much Ben's story: from the opening scene where we find him in hospital hooked up to a heart monitor, we're rooting for him to come out winning and we celebrate every step towards his recovery.
There are several things that make this book different from others. First, Bev is totally transparent about her emotions. If your own child is suffering from an eating disorder, you will easily relate to the exhaustion, fear and grief that frequently overwhelmed her, as well as to her determination and staying power. At times we get a glimpse of the strain on Bev's husband as well.
But this isn't a story of despair: Bev kept moving on, searching for solutions, working through obstacles, and placing herself firmly by her son's side. And here lies another precious aspect of this book: because Ben is totally on board with his story being told truthfully, every now and again we get his version of terrible events. This gives us a rare insight into what might be going on in the mind of someone in the grips of anorexia.
Ben began making progress when he and his parents worked as a team, and when the health professionals started to support their joint efforts. This is hardly a surprise, given the studies showing the success of Family-Based Treatment (as documented by Lock and Le Grange). For many children, effective treatment involves parents taking over everything related to food and exercise, but this was not an option for Bev: if you're in the same situation, you will learn much from her slow but steady success with a collaborative, softly-softly approach based on joint agreements and rewards.
This book takes you on an emotional journey, taking you through the everyday reality of dealing with anorexia. If you're a health professional, read it to understand what parents are struggling with at home. You will learn things that parents might not dare tell you in your consulting room. Bev and I have 'met'through the anorexia parent's online forum "Around the Dinner Table", where most parents have similar stories. If your friends or relatives think that anorexia is simply a refusal to eat, get them to read Ben's story. And if you believe anorexia is a girl thing, this book will sweep away your misconceptions.
For more information and support for parents, check out my website and other book reviews.
Eva Musby (www.evamusby.co.uk)
There are several things that make this book different from others. First, Bev is totally transparent about her emotions. If your own child is suffering from an eating disorder, you will easily relate to the exhaustion, fear and grief that frequently overwhelmed her, as well as to her determination and staying power. At times we get a glimpse of the strain on Bev's husband as well.
But this isn't a story of despair: Bev kept moving on, searching for solutions, working through obstacles, and placing herself firmly by her son's side. And here lies another precious aspect of this book: because Ben is totally on board with his story being told truthfully, every now and again we get his version of terrible events. This gives us a rare insight into what might be going on in the mind of someone in the grips of anorexia.
Ben began making progress when he and his parents worked as a team, and when the health professionals started to support their joint efforts. This is hardly a surprise, given the studies showing the success of Family-Based Treatment (as documented by Lock and Le Grange). For many children, effective treatment involves parents taking over everything related to food and exercise, but this was not an option for Bev: if you're in the same situation, you will learn much from her slow but steady success with a collaborative, softly-softly approach based on joint agreements and rewards.
This book takes you on an emotional journey, taking you through the everyday reality of dealing with anorexia. If you're a health professional, read it to understand what parents are struggling with at home. You will learn things that parents might not dare tell you in your consulting room. Bev and I have 'met'through the anorexia parent's online forum "Around the Dinner Table", where most parents have similar stories. If your friends or relatives think that anorexia is simply a refusal to eat, get them to read Ben's story. And if you believe anorexia is a girl thing, this book will sweep away your misconceptions.
For more information and support for parents, check out my website and other book reviews.
Eva Musby (www.evamusby.co.uk)
April 11, 2013
A seemingly familiar journey well expressed and written by the author. An important story of a mother and her son as they struggle through the up's and downs, the never in a straight line' recovery trajectory from anorexia. Bev Mattocks and her son have so lovingly shared what is so commonly experienced by so many parents of children diagnosed with anorexia. I really could not put this down; from the first sentence the path was just all too familiar.
This book provides great insight into the world of how boy's also suffer from what is often perceived to be a female illness only. Thank you Bev and Ben.
A must read for any parent of a son or daughter embarking on the path to recovery from an eating disorder.
This book provides great insight into the world of how boy's also suffer from what is often perceived to be a female illness only. Thank you Bev and Ben.
A must read for any parent of a son or daughter embarking on the path to recovery from an eating disorder.
May 4, 2016
This book is incredibly repetitive and quite a bit self-indulgent. I understand the mother is terrified for her child, but the book becomes more about her own terror than it does about getting at the roots of her son's anorexia.
If anything, the book speaks to the fragility of millennial identity and how one cross word can cause a cascade event that results in anorexia. Or so it's presented here. I'm not sure it's quite that simple, and so I find the book's "mission statement" to be confusing.
If anything, the book speaks to the fragility of millennial identity and how one cross word can cause a cascade event that results in anorexia. Or so it's presented here. I'm not sure it's quite that simple, and so I find the book's "mission statement" to be confusing.
April 26, 2013
A well written , honest account of what it's REALLY like to live with someone who suffers from anorexia.
The ups and downs, the darkness of the demon.
This could be about a male or female sufferer, young or old.
Initially hard to read, painful and familiar, as the book progresses it begins to offer much needed hope.
References to resources are being made as well.
I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who comes in contact with eating disorder patients, but especially the carers, as it will offer light during the dark times.
The ups and downs, the darkness of the demon.
This could be about a male or female sufferer, young or old.
Initially hard to read, painful and familiar, as the book progresses it begins to offer much needed hope.
References to resources are being made as well.
I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who comes in contact with eating disorder patients, but especially the carers, as it will offer light during the dark times.
Want to read
April 12, 2013Having lived through this with the author, I know the story well and have to be in a slightly better place (in the middle of course of chemotherapy) before I can relive the whole experience.
I WILL read it and change my review but I know Bev well and I know how long and hard she has fought for Ben. A great tiger mother fighting insuperable odds for her handsome boy...
I WILL read it and change my review but I know Bev well and I know how long and hard she has fought for Ben. A great tiger mother fighting insuperable odds for her handsome boy...
April 11, 2013
A wonderful book, heartfelt and a story of courage in the face of sheer horror at what an eating disorder can do to a child.
April 15, 2013
An honest book, written from the heart and one which should give all families caught in the hell of an eating disorder hope.
February 18, 2019
A mother's honest account of her teenage son's eating disorder starts out as a page turner. The book lags about 3/4 the way through which may have mirrored the family's recovery. Fortunately, the book has a happy ending. It is one of the few books telling the story of a teen male amongst all of the teen female eating disorder books.
March 18, 2024
A heart wrenching tale of this poor mother watching anorexia rip her son from her. What an eye-opening approach to telling the story of someone so closely affected by this stupid illness. It really made me think about how the people around me were impacted by my own struggles with food.
September 2, 2013
This is a great book for anyone who knows someone struggling with anorexia. Bev Mattocks's fear and anger and motherly love is very clear throughout the book. It was very sad that Ben did not initially get the care he needed, since many people are not properly trained and informed about male eating disorders. It can be so difficult to relate to and understand someone who an eating disorder. Why can't they just snap out of it and see that they're destroying themselves? Mattocks struggles with this feeling along with a multitude of other emotions. I felt very touched by her story and strength throughout the ordeal. Every day is a battle with the ED but she refuses to give up. Ben's present comments are not great in number but they do provide insight into the mind of someone with anorexia. This was a very worthwhile read that I recommend to anyone with ties to EDs or who just wants to learn more.
Rating 4.5/5 stars
Rating 4.5/5 stars
July 5, 2015
A lot of what Bev describes is all too familiar. I had anorexia for many years that started when I was 13 or 14 and I relate to how Bev describes Ben and his interactions with her. It was enlightening to read what my parents might have been feeling all those years and I can start to accept some of the things they did that I couldn't accept in the past (like sneaking extra food into my meals and "the look" they give you etc.) Battling anorexia is a winding path and just when you think you've reached the end of it, it keeps on going. This is a good thing and a bad thing. You have to trust that you will find the light again and Bev has done a great job at showing that there is light at the end of the road, but more importantly there is light along the road as well, no matter long the road is.
December 31, 2013
Good book for information and what it's like to live with someone struggling with anorexia.
July 8, 2014
Why
It seemed like it is good for a parent of a person with an eating disorder.I don't see many about males with eating disorders
It seemed like it is good for a parent of a person with an eating disorder.I don't see many about males with eating disorders
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews