Glitter and Glue

by Kelly Corrigan

A new memoir that examines the bond—sometimes nourishing, sometimes exasperating, occasionally divine—between mothers and daughters.
 
When Kelly Corrigan was in high school, her mother neatly summarized the family dynamic as “Your father’s the glitter but I’m the glue.” This meant nothing to Kelly, who left childhood sure that her mom—with her inviolable commandments and proud stoicism—would be nothing more than background chatter for the rest of Kelly’s life, which she was carefully orienting toward adventure. After college, armed with a backpack, her personal mission statement, and a wad of traveler’s checks, she took off for Australia to see things and do things and Become Interesting.
 
But it didn’t turn out the way she pictured it. In a matter of months, her savings shot, she had a choice: get a job or go home. That’s how Kelly met John Tanner, a newly widowed father of two looking for a live-in nanny. They chatted for an hour, discussed timing and pay, and a week later, Kelly moved in. And there, in that house in a suburb north of Sydney, 10,000 miles from the house where she was raised, her mother’s voice was suddenly everywhere, nudging and advising, cautioning and directing, escorting her through a terrain as foreign as any she had ever trekked. Every day she spent with the Tanner kids was a day spent reconsidering her relationship with her mother, turning it over in her hands like a shell, straining to hear whatever messages might be trapped in its spiral.
 
This is a book about the difference between travel and life experience, stepping out and stepping up, fathers and mothers. But mostly it’s about who you admire and why, and how that changes over time.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Book Club, Audiobook, Biography, Biography Memoir, Parenting

224 pages, Hardcover

First published February 4, 2014

About the author

Kelly Corrigan is a New York Times bestselling author whose writing has appeared in O Magazine, Glamour and Good Housekeeping. Her newspaper columns for the Bay Area News Group cover everyday matters from the power of an unequivocal apology to the contagious nature of weight gain, extramarital affairs and going green."

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

On the surface, this seems like a fast, easy read because it is--but there are a whole lot of layers built in that I'll be thinking about for a long time: the whole business about when you start channeling your own mother in unexpected ways, the things you learn from how you're parented (by both parents) that don't necessarily present themselves until later in life, and how being a mama is simultaneously the hardest, most exciting, and most demanding way to spend one's time.

The secondary part of the story--the motherless family in Australia--drew me in as well, though, since I've witnessed firsthand the loss of the mama (and preparation for the loss of the mama) multiple times in the past few years. This is the frightening part, the unthinkable part. Kelly Corrigan really captured how fragile and lost a family is despite moving through the regular routines of life, and makes you remember without hitting you over the head with it that it could happen to anyone, really, so it's wise to figure out how to balance being present and giving your family your all without being paralyzed by fear of what your own motherless family would look like.

I am already impatient for another Kelly Corrigan book even though this one doesn't technically come out until February 2014 (hooray for advance reader copies!).

[Jana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I miss my mom. This memoir brings it all back. She died when I was 19, so I never got to experience being an adult with a mom. This memoir is about a daughter and her relationship with her mother over the years.

At one point the daughter/author/Kelly Corrigan is in Australia and a boy is explaining chess to her: The queen is the most important piece. She can move everywhere. And if she is gone, you're lost.

Later, she rewords this with "the mother". It's true.



NOTE: I listened to the audio of this, which was well done. The quote about chess is from my memory since I don't have a book to refer to, but I think (hope) I got pretty close! I look forward to meeting the author in Vermont next month. Though I don't have a small group session with her, I will still be able to hear her speak in the larger group. I've seen video of her and she is wonderful.

[Bam cooks the books · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice memoir about mother-daughter relationships and how these relationships can evolve over time.

Kelly Corrigan wants to get away from home (and her mother) after college and have some exciting adventures and experiences, so she decides to travel to Asia with her friend, Tracey. They run out of money once they reach Australia and have to find jobs where they can be paid in cash. Both find work as nannies.

This was the November, 2019, pick for my library's readers roundtable group. My group universally disliked this memoir and thought the storyline was quite thin, with no real depth of emotion, and that Kelly herself seemed to be pretty shallow, even for someone in their early twenties.

[Kats · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every daughter has a mother, and whilst some relationships are more fraught than others, I can only guess that no mother-daughter relationship is plain sailing at all times. This book struck so many chords with me, particularly having had an equally "uncool mother" like Kelly Corrigan's who wouldn't let me paint my nails, wear make-up, heck, even get contact lenses as she was "sensible" and would not pander to my vanity. Similarly, I wasn't allowed to watch trashy TV, read trashy books (Enid Blyton was borderline, I was allowed to get them from the library but not own them) or hang out with 'trashy people'. Oh dear. As a result, I became addicted to Australian soap operas at school, read nothing but Marian Keyes and other such chick lit authors and found myself the scuzziest boy-friends possible. The joys of teenage rebellion.

As I moved country and no longer lived at home, I started appreciating what she had given me, the moral compass she had (tried to) set for me, and the values to look for in myself and other people. As a result, I've made very few duff choices in friendships, have been able to trust my judgment and been self-reliant ever since I moved out of the family home, just turning 16.

However, it was not until I became a mother myself in early 2004 that I started truly admiring my mother and what she had been through, and turning to her at every milestone moment to share it with her, ask for her advice and use her as a sounding board, whether it was mothering matters or work issues with clients or colleagues. She was the person who knew me best, the only person who had nothing but my best interests at heart, and the person who would always be brutally honest with me. She is irreplaceable, and whilst the sharp pain of grief has been dulled over the last 8.5 years, I think of her all the time, and would give my right arm to have one last grown-up conversation with her.

No wonder then that I spent most of the time crying as I was listening to this wonderful memoir. They were tears of laughter, sadness, joy and grief, not only for my own absent mother, but also for Milly and Martin Tanner in Corrigan's story who lost their mother to cancer, aged 5 and 7. Heart-breaking. Kelly Corrigan's self-awareness, self deprecating humour and her astute observations (into what motherhood means, how we all somehow end up channelling our mothers - our worst nightmare as teenagers - and that whatever kind of mother we end up with, she is usually the best one we could have wished for) are well worth this wonderful book. Especially if you are a daughter, or a mother, or both!

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this more than I did. In fact, I want to give in 2.75 stars :). The memory of her travels abroad with the Tanner family after college were compelling and I really enjoyed the writing. I felt the current day "tie" to her mother was lacking and she didn't make me care about their relationship like I did about her relationship with the Tanners.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do not read this book while premenstrual and on a plane.

I grabbed this as a prepub galley from ALA Annual 2013. I haven't read Corrigan before, but I enjoyed her light, breezy, at times humorous style. This is a book about learning to appreciate the grown-ups in your life--in this case, Corrigan's strict, hard-to-please mother. Told through the lens of a memoir of her half-year as a nanny for a widower and his children in Australia, the premise is lightweight but the emotional impact is solid. Especially if you're premenstrual and on a plane. Beware.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hit me in ways I didn't expect. It made me laugh but it made me cry so suddenly as her words snuck up on me. I related to this book on many levels. One I lost my mom when I was 17 and helped raise my three brothers one of which was only 1 1/2. I related to Evan.
My brother recently lost his wife to cancer leaving him to raise two children at 4 & 7 years old. I could see my brother in John.
My oldest daughter just became a mom and I see our relationship changing as moms united.
Beautiful story Kelly Corrigan. I cannot wait to meet you in Vermont in April!!!

[Judith E · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lightweight reflection about a young adult daughter’s realization that her mother was actually a person. Also, an age old scenario of nanny trying to win over traumatized/sulky child.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Glitter and Glue is a love story to Corrigan's mother that all women can relate to whether you have children or not. My mother in law gave me this book after she went to a book release event with the author, whom she found to be witty and funny. This book made me think of my own relationship with my mother and how blessed I was as a child, I am and still continue to be with my own sainted mother and how scared and excited I am to become a mother one day and most importantly that I need my mother as a 32 year old and will continue to need her for the rest of my life. This is a great light read (that will occasionally make you shed a tear or so).

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Kelly Corrigan's "The Middle Place" - even though I don't have children, I found her insight into the changing role of being an adult child to be very honest. As much as I loved TMP, I think I love "Glitter and Glue" more. It really resonated with me as someone who grew up idolizing her more exciting and jovial dad and getting frustrated with the rules-oriented, calm mom. I love the description of her mother summarizing "the division of labor in her family as 'Your father's the glitter, but I'm the glue.'" And so it was in my house.

I never was a nanny in Australia, but I too grew to value my mother's voice, her perspective, her approach to life. Today, I find myself being much more like my mother than my father. I think Kelly Corrigan's ability to tease out the details of life is a great gift. G&G is the story of Kelly heading off for an extended trip to Australia, because "things happen when you leave the house." But she quickly learns that it's hard to find the great adventure when you've run out of cash. She signs on as a nanny for a family whose mother/wife has recently died. As she sinks in to their day to day life, trying to connect and find the right things to say and do, she realizes that she is drawing on the lessons learned from her mother - the glue - more than the joyous abandon of her father - the glitter.

Kelly grows and changes, and comes to the realization as she grows older that there are times when you just want your mom, that you hear her voice in your head and say the things she said. She learns that she will always protect and defend her mom, because the game changes when she's gone.

Great read - I was lucky enough to read an advance copy of Glitter and Glue which will be on sale February 2014. Please pre-order this one. Get two - and give one to your mom.
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I also highly recommend Kelly Corrigan's "Lift" and the accompanying music - fantastic short read, and I'm thankful to Kelly for introducing me to the music of Mike Errico - "Count to Ten" and "Ever Since" are two of the most beautiful songs ever.

[Jeanette · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's probably me, not the book. But I had to force myself to finish. 2.5 star, with a .5 star given for the truthfulness level. And yet these "me, me, me" and "I had to find myself" books are just not my cup of tea. It was suggested as a cozy? Why does it not surprise me that when she finally was forced to physically and mentally work for others' wants and needs, she begins to wake up to her own past parental reality. Having spent 13 years taking care of ill parents and their house too, and just losing the last, my Dad, in April (he was 95 and stroke victim for the last 8 years)- I am probably not an audience for parental critiques, even if they suggest growth and found love for a parent after the fact. To me, it just took her way to long to get there. My cultural background does not put parental care and concern by a child for a parent (NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND)-in the same light. So because of that, this was just not the feel good read for me either that it seems to be for many others with a more USA/ Western Civ. cultural background.

[Arianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

shelfnotes.com

Dear Reader,

I read this book in 3 days. I suppose that says something about both its accessibility and its engagement level. This book was, however, nothing like I'd expected. Having never read anything by this author before, I wasn't prepared by her other works. Amber and I got this book as an ARC at BEA 2013, and we'd both been eager to get to it, especially having met the author and gotten our books signed. I think the title appealed to me most of all: it evoked memories of crafting - making paper crowns and wands with which to become a princess - with my own mother when I was little.

So, I guess in one way, I was (completely unexpectedly) prepared for this book: it was ultimately about the relationship between a mother and daughter, reflected upon by a daughter who has reached womanhood and her own motherhood, and therefore is trying to sort out her complicated and often frustrating relationship with her mom. I think Kelly and her mother had an especially interesting relationship because Kelly was the only daughter in the family; having a sister to talk to and relate to might have helped her immensely during her adolesence.

They definitely did have an often-at-odds relationship, which I found fascinating to watch unfold throughout the book. But, in the long run, I wasn't quite sure this book "gave" me anything. There wasn't much of a resolution to the whole thing, besides that Kelly had come to the realization that she did, in fact, really need her mother.

It was interesting the way the author explained her coming to terms with this through the story of her experiences in Australia over a three-month period, when she was in her early twenties. She nannied for a recent widower's children, and while they came to understand and manage life without their mother, Kelly simultaneously began to understand the connection she and her mother had. While essentially child-rearing for the first time, she began to watch herself adopt many of her own mother's mannerisms.

I feel like maybe if I'd read a few others of Corrigan's memoirs, perhaps I would have felt as if this were a more complete story, one that fit in neatly with her other works to form a whole portrait of a person. As it stood alone, though, I didn't feel like it was ... quite substantial enough. I enjoyed the narrative, but in the end felt as if I'd just finished an article reflecting in detail on one part of one woman's life, not an entire book. That's not a bad thing, though - just an observation.

I'd recommend this to women who struggle with the mother-daugther relationship, either with their mothers or their daugthers. I think it was a heartwarming and entertaining book, which hit upon some good moments and did draw some great parallels between the author's situation in Australia and her situation at home. Certainly a fun and light-hearted little read. (Especially the relationship with her father; that was always adorable to watch.)

Yours,
Arianna

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh how I wish we had partial stars in Goodreads, because I need them to accurately describe my feelings for this book! It wasn't bad enough for a two, but it also didn't earn a 3 in my mind. A 2.5 would be perfect here!

What did I like? It was a fast read and was enjoyable for the most part (when I could get past my annoyance with the narrator)

What didn't I like? While I found her experiences in Australia to be interesting, she was a bit whiny. Perhaps this is an honest reflection of her age/perspective at the time, but as a reader it made it hard for me to invest in her. Also, while the Australia parts were decent, I found that weaving in the relationship with her mother was forced. It didn't seem to fit in an authentic way and left a bad taste in my mouth. I wasn't able to connect at all with this part of the book or her relationship with her mother at all.

In the end, this book was like a tv show you watch because it happens to be on, but don't really care about at all.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was a real sob fest. I started it in the doctor's office but couldn't continue because I was tearing up in a waiting room full of strangers. I explained to the lady sitting next to me, who then showed me pictures on her phone of her 92 year old mother....when she was young and beautiful. She had movie star looks, reminded me of Lana Turner. This is a story that most every woman can relate to and then proceed to celebrate the uniqueness of her own mother. My mother passed 26 years ago but I think of her every day.

[Ayelet Waldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kelly did it again, brought us another heartbreaker that'll keep you laughing and crying.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this with my whole heart. At times it's difficult to get through (because much like Kelly's observation below) it's exhausting to FEEL so much, but it's absolutely worth it. So many layers to absorb as a woman, a daughter, a mother, and a friend.

“And it occurs to me that maybe the reason my mother was so exhausted all the time wasn’t because she was doing so much but because she was feeling so much.”

"It's hard to watch someone struggle, with a testy machine, a sticky door, a heavy suitcase, much less listen to them cough or cry. People want to help, and the more we've seen and heard and done, the more useful we are. And this is why even the tiniest show of stoicism in little girls and grown women makes me mad. It makes us useless to each other."

“The mother is the most essential piece on the board, the one you must protect. Only she has the range. Only she can move in multiple directions. Once she's gone, it's a whole different game.”

[Irene · Rating 5 out of 5]

By the time I finished this heartfelt book, tears quietly slid down my cheeks. After I read a certain quote, I sobbed. I will forever hold this in my heart, "You don't have to be able to decode every passage to want to hug it when you finish." Hug it, I did.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a great homage to moms, hitting both heart-breaking and snort-inducing moments. If you've ever heard your mother's voice in your head at times (or possibly heard her words coming out of your own mouth!), you'll relate to this one.

[Melissa Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF at a little over 50%

Published in 2014, "Glitter and Glue," by Kelly Corrigan, is a memoir about the author taking her hardworking and attentive mother for granted while she was growing up, and then learning how to appreciate her mother's unflagging care after taking a job as a nanny in Australia.

I picked up this book at my library on a whim, since it was available on audiobook. I really wanted to enjoy this. It's a short book, and I was hoping I could delight in some vicarious travel to Australia while the author sorted out her mommy issues.

But this memoir contains zero travel information, and even the mommy issues are extremely lacking.

I found this memoir brutally boring, and the audiobook started to put me to sleep. Since I mostly listen to audiobooks while I'm driving, I had to call it quits.

It's clear there's an audience for this memoir, since it's blurbed on the cover by Elizabeth Gilbert, and this book has a lot of rave reviews.

Personally, I found "Glitter and Glue" to be shallow and dull; the author's worldview was astonishingly self-absorbed. This book is a shining example of what I commonly read for market research, but even this book was too extremely market-worthy for me to tolerate.

There has been a growing movement for some time for the stories of unremarkable, ordinary people to be told at length, in glorious detail, documenting the sheer mundanity of life as if it were a riveting account full of drama, pathos, high comedy, and great feeling.

And I mean, power to you, if you go in for this sort of thing.

But this book harshed my mellow and I was not a fan.

One star for me personally. Reading this book felt like trying to swallow a bowl full of sand.

Three stars because I know I am most certainly not the intended audience.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Updating this review a week later to bump up to five stars– this one left a lasting impression, and I’m still thinking about it a week later. I’d press this one into the hands of all of my young mom-to-be friends!

OG review: I’ve had this book sitting idly on my shelf for, oh, maybe 18 months? With really no inclination to pick it up (sorry, Kelly Corrigan!), but when I finally did, I devoured it in a day. But some books just find you at the exact right time, and this one found me just at the time I could receive it most. As I’m on the cusp of becoming a mother myself, Kelley writes beautifully about what it means to be a mother, have a mother, see the void left when a mother isn’t around.

This one is different than Tell Me More, of course, but I loved her honesty and her often messy, not-always-painted-in-a-likable-light reflection on her relationship with her mother. This one made me want to call my mom immediately, and not stop thinking about this daughter I’m growing, and how to be her mother.

[Angie Woodson · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Kelly Corrigan’s writing is absolutely gorgeous. Her thoughts on motherhood paired with her gritty, honest, and often hilarious writing is such a joy to read. While I didn’t like this one quite as much as “Tell Me More”, I still loved it, and it’s deserving of any mother or daughter’s reading time.

[Fafani Weinzierl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this book late one night while looking for something to read. A memoir about the lessons our mothers instill in us simple through their actions and not always the “lecture”. How many times have I done something over the years and thought, “Holy crap, I’m turning into my mother!” And really, what an honor it is to say that!

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this memoir, the author writes an ode to her mother: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

"Your father's the glitter, but I'm the glue."

A few parts of this memoir were touching, but overall, I thought it was just ok. I didn't really get much out of it, and let's just say that the morale of the story seemed obvious.

The Middle Place (4 stars) remains my favorite by this author!

Location: San Francisco, California and Australia

Audiobook

[Lauren Henderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Your father may be the glitter, but I'm the glue.

Whoa... heartstrings.. hold on. This book is a great read for anyone who has a mom... so EVERYONE. I found myself tearing up often with memories of my own mom. Glitter and Glue is a beautiful tribute to the mother-daughter relationship.

Kelly Corrigan is a really great writer. I've never read anything by her, and I picked this one up solely because I love memoirs about mother-daughter relationships. She writes the story in first person, so it reads like fiction and is very entertaining. Also, Kelly Corrigan must have (1) been keeping insanely detailed journals her entire life, or (2) exaggerated some details in this story, or (3) have superhuman abilities for remembering details. I'm going to guess it's number one. So notes to self: KEEP JOURNALS, WRITE IN FIRST PERSON - if I ever decide to write a book. Although I think I'll just stick with blogging.

The first 85% of the book is about her experience with nannying in Austrailia and how it made her appreciate her mother. It's vividly written with details and emotional responses. I LOVED this part. She struggles with winning the love of Milly who just lost her mother to cancer, and she realizes that she hears her mother's voice with everything that happens and finds herself becoming her mother - like a lot of us do.

I thought she was going to have some splendid reunion with her mom... but she didn't. The end goes into hyper speed mode and does not give much detail about how Austrailia actually changes her relationship with her mother. It was kind of a let down, but did not ruin the beginning of the story that was so beautifully told - It reminded me somewhat of the writing style of Cheryl Strayed in Wild.

Overall, a great read that I would recommend to someone who wants to reminisce about their childhood and have lots of memories pulled out that they forgot existed.

[Marti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Glitter and Glue by Kelly Corrigan is a memoir about her life with her mom. The story follows Kelly’s but is a long reflection about her mother. The younger Kelly felt her mother was too hard, always had rules, didn’t let anything go and always pushed her. The older Kelly realized that her mother took her job as mother seriously.

What make this a great book are the emotions of a woman coming into her own. A woman who starts out feeling about her mom, like many of us did as a teenager {roll the eyes} to a woman who not only understands her mother’s choices but a woman who makes the same choices.

One of the quotes in the book explains my reaction to the book so well. To paraphrase the notion: People who read the books are who determine what a book means. They bring their biases, judgments, life’s journeys, daily life and the emotions tied with the book to begin with. I brought with me the knowledge of my mother’s disease and her failing cognition. I brought with me the knowledge that I do not have her to rely on. That was my emotional connection based on by biases, life’s journey, daily life and all the emotions connected.

To me the book was a wonderful read. It showed a caring that grows with the understanding. A love that shows understanding. It could be a wonderful gift for mothers and daughters. It was a wonderful gift for me.

[Angela Malone · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. The overall theme of this just wasn't appealing to me. The story about nannying the widdower's children was very sweet but mostly boring. The second part about coming home and finally appreciating her mom made me cringe with secondhand embarrassment for her. Her oblivious self-centeredness was not sweet or endearing. The only parts I enjoyed were at the end where she touched on some of the very real struggles of motherhood. But that part seemed rushed and wrapped up too quickly and didn't seem cohesive with the long winded retelling of her nannying story at the beginning.

I may have disliked this less if I hadn't been listening to the audio version. That's my own fault because I'm picky about my narrators and this author's thoroughly unenthusiastic and detached performance put me off in the first 2 minutes. I found her cartoonish impression of her mother's voice a little offensive. It showed a lack of empathy and maturity that reflected negatively on the author. She finally expressed genuine feeling and emotion at the very end which is why I'm adding half a star but it was too little too late.

[Ada-Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this coming-of-age memoir. I have been meaning to read The Middle Place by the same author and picked this up when I saw it at the library. I may have read it at a vulnerable time when we are going through a lot with our aging parents while trying to manage the business of raising young children, but it was perfection. It's a quick but profound read.

[Lizzie Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay. I really like Kelly Corrigan and her writing style. I love her voice and the pace at which she writes, and I find her particularly witty and relatable. This story just wasn't my favorite story from her. I thought it would be more about her mom, but it really only covered that dynamic at the beginning and the end. The majority was a story about her time as a nanny for a family that was trying to rebuild itself after tragedy. I think the proportions of this book were off... I think the nanny/family/Australia story should have been perhaps 25% of the book rather than 75%, and she should have dug in a little more to her relationship with her parents and what becoming a mother herself actually did to her perspective of mothering as a whole. Though I could see a connection between the first and second part of the story, it was tenuous at best and I think it could have been rounded out better with some more perspectives and vantage points from different parts of her life.

Still love Kelly Corrigan though. Still want to read more from her.

[Susy Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you can, listen to this book so you can hear Kelly's voice when her mom is talking. It's worth it!

This was a fast book and one I enjoyed. How Kelly describes things, the words and phrases, are beautiful and catchy in my opinion. She says things with words that I'd never put together, yet they are perfect. Her descriptions always have a little extra ump to them.

The story is also wonderful, and as a mother with grown kids, I could totally relate. Made me reflect back on what I did to get through motherhood, and how motherhood has such a different look and feel to it throughout the years. I'm glad I'm at the stage I'm at, but this book made me realize that even the hard kid years were necessary and worth it. I value them now.

And the title is fabulous - glitter and glue, Greenie and Lovey, father and daughter. I think I also appreciate Kelly's books because she had the most amazing dad, something I did not.

[Lisa Lewton · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could hang out with any author for a day, I think I would choose Kelly Corrigan. She is wise and witty, and speaks honestly and delightfully about life. She narrates the audio and I would recommend that way to read this book. Then you get the feel of her mother’s voice!