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The Amazing Thing About the Way It Goes: Stories of Tidiness, Self-Esteem and Other Things I Gave Up On

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From New York Times best-selling author and popular blogger Stephanie Pearl-McPhee comes a new spin and a hilarious look at life, parenting, and, well, pants.

The Amazing Thing About the Way It Goes takes on the amazing in the ordinary in this side-splitting series of short commentaries. Pearl-McPhee turns her trademark wit and perspective to everything from creative discipline to a way you would never think about fixing your email situation. This book looks at everyday problems, and honestly, it won't do much to solve them, but at least you'll be laughing.

224 pages, Paperback

First published March 4, 2014

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About the author

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

9 books567 followers
Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (better known as the Yarn Harlot) is a prolific knitter, writer and blogger known for her humorous but always insightful anecdotes and stories about knitting triumphs and tragedies.

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5 stars
439 (37%)
4 stars
422 (36%)
3 stars
245 (20%)
2 stars
49 (4%)
1 star
16 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 148 reviews
Profile Image for Jessica.
Author 30 books5,902 followers
January 5, 2016
And with this book, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee officially becomes my spirit animal.

It's not just the love of knitting. And Battlestar Galactica. And the three kids. And having a wonderful husband who nevertheless cannot see that the house is dirty.

It's about the humor and pathos with which she describes motherhood. Personhood. It's about thinking that dodgeball was invented by a sadistic gym teacher. It's about applauding a mom at the grocery store whose three children are screaming and whose toddler is trying to pull down the mom's pants in an act of rebellion, and thinking, I've been there, it's horrible, but you can do this. It's about obsessing over a remark some jerk yelled out of car thirty years ago.

It's about life. And being able to laugh at life. And after something horrible has passed, being able to look back and regale listeners with the hilarity of it all. This is the kind of person I want to be. And I'd like to thank Stephanie for setting the example.
Profile Image for Nicole.
112 reviews2 followers
March 8, 2014
Still very much one of SPM's books, though not as much about knitting as the others. I enjoyed it most of the time. Sometimes I wonder if there's anything else. It's not substantially different from the others, which is to say that I wonder how many memoirs a person can write before it's actually narcissism. And there's something bothersome about being continually reminded by someone who makes a living writing and knitting and teaching knitting that she herself isn't really all that special. If she isn't, then there's no reason other people--namely myself--shouldn't be able to do it. So that particular thing about it reads as false modesty.

None of this is to say that the essays, particularly those about parenting, aren't good. There were some excellent strategies there. Not sure I buy that there is beauty in that moment in the grocery store where you want to kill all of your children and walk out with dignity, but her kids are grown and so she probably forgives herself the romanticizing of that. But I will remember that a surefire way to manage teenagers is to threaten to be naked in front of their friends. That doesn't sound like it'll cost me huge therapy bills or anything.
92 reviews1 follower
November 21, 2017
While this one didn't have as much knitting content, I can admit she's covered that a lot and we luckily have her blog posts for that. It had it's literal laugh out loud moments for me (scared my family a time or two) and it's thought provoking and touching times as well. There was only one chapter (the email one) that I had to skip through because while I could see it working in her head, it just slogged on and didn't grab me.

My only issue is the repetitiveness. I feel like I'm reading a slightly modified version of the same stories from book to book at times (not ALL the essays, just a few). I wish she had a list and would cross off certain subjects and say "I already covered that...a few times". It wasn't as pervasive this time, but I still had a few moments of "darn, I've read this (or very similar) before".

All in all I enjoyed it and will continue to read her books and blog because I'll probably never get to hear her talk in person which I've heard is so much fun. She's a great storyteller (and I love knitting!).
Profile Image for Vannetta Chapman.
Author 127 books1,446 followers
March 25, 2024
I really enjoyed this book. In fact, I've enjoyed every book by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee.

Recently on a trip with some friends, during our downtime, I was reading this. I didn't even realize I was laughing out loud until they called me on it - then they both downloaded the book.

It's funny. It's refreshing. It reminds us not to take life too seriously, to keep the main thing the main thing, and to be real with one another. Yeah. We need more books like this. Which reminds me, I'm off to read the next one by Ms. Pearl-McPhee.

Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Alcornell.
263 reviews4 followers
November 28, 2015
I swear I am getting crankier by the day. I love the yarn harlot, but I only liked this set of essays. 3.5 stars for a woman I genuinely appreciate and like, though I do not know her personally. The details: True there are a couple of poignant moments, and yes I did laugh out loud a few times, at 4am, which is when I usually read light as air stuff, all the while begging the cat to be quiet & leave me alone, hoping against hope for a few more winks. I like the harlot's husband, and her kids, and the fact that SHE likes them so much. But as I read this book, I thought I could read between the lines to see her work-process, and that slogged a bit. I had the sensation of urgency, like the deadline for the book demanded she finish NOW, so the work sits a bit less polished than usual. And I missed the usually heavier percentage of knitting content. Her discussions about her looks and coming to terms with her looks left me feeling like I had too much information and not enough resolution to ease that feeling.

I know Stephanie is a bright, creative, genuinely lovely person, no buts about it. I have benefitted myself from her wisdom and humor on a number of (funny) topics. This time, though, I wanted to thank her for her work, and apologize for being among the audience who would take her away from her family on a holiday. I remembered how hard it can be to work when the work is too much, or not fun or creative. Or not my own idea. She did not "lose the room" as she called it in one of the last essays, but Somehow I found myself wanting to look away, as though privy to information but without permission to comment. That lack of meeting of the minds made me cranky and looking for a way out. If I could comment, I would say to Ms. Pearl-McPhee that I wanted to pour her a cuppa tea and give her a kitten to pet.

Lastly, I could feel she wears her "dumpy knitter" persona a bit heavily, as if that's the real her, as if the real Stephanie is nothing but a harmless knitter with unlovely eyebrows. However, I can feel the powerful maturity of this woman and the sharpness of her mind. (Her essay about writing makes my point about this.). I think the name Yarn Harlot is well chosen because yes, she has the beauty and softness of yarn in her heart, but the screamingly funny 'harlot' strengths ("rages") have an edge that makes me just the tiniest bit scared of her. (Please don't tell her I said so.) She is fearless, undaunted when she needs to be, and stronger than an army when she is pissed, or just determined. I guess this is all by way of saying I found much of this book of essays more thoughtful, less "humorist", more pointed and seeking. I have a hunch it's partly because I have experienced some of what she writes about and it's now in my past. OR, since I do Not have experience of her predicament, I don't have a freaking clue what she is going through so I suffer from a lack of insight and empathy. Whatever it is, at the moment we aren't together in our walks through life, and I kind of wish we were cuz contrary to what she says in this book, Stephanie is fun.
Profile Image for Hester Rathbone.
118 reviews19 followers
July 15, 2015
I wind up not having tons to say about this book. There were essays in it that were charming - some that were hilarious, although not as many as I would have hoped for. I do so love her writing style but to be honest, if she's not writing about knitting fiascos, I'm not quite as enthralled. I think if there had been a balance - more funny essays, perhaps, or at least one or two knitting-themed ones - I would have enjoyed this book more. As it was, it was fine and the first essay definitely had me laughing aloud.
Profile Image for Erin.
122 reviews16 followers
March 31, 2014
Wonderful, down to earth stories. Great writing. I felt like I was chatting with a good friend the whole time. It's the best kind of book, you laugh a lot, learn something, and feel lifted up and warm hearted after reading it. You'll want to buy extra to give to your friends.
Profile Image for Lesa Parnham.
897 reviews24 followers
April 17, 2014
I guess if you are a follower of Ms.Mc Phee this would be the book for you. I only found two stories I liked, one was laugh out loud funny and the other was lovely. Except for these two it was a major snooze fest.
Profile Image for Sarah.
56 reviews11 followers
February 15, 2015
I have enjoyed her previous books but this one just didn't click with me. Didn't finish a few of the stories that didn't hold my interest.
Profile Image for Jessica.
26 reviews15 followers
June 2, 2015
I really did not like this one. Couldn't really relate much to the writer and was expecting something much funnier.
Profile Image for BookishStitcher.
1,407 reviews55 followers
August 16, 2017
This book definitely had moments where I was laughing out loud (like the skunk story). Most of it was slow going for me to get through. It is probably just where I currently am in life that I couldn't yet relate to many of the stories. Maybe in another decade when my kids are teenagers this book might be something I can relate to a lot. I think I would like one of her knitting books better if anyone has any recommendations. That being said I've been to a retreat where Stephanie was the guest speaker, and she is hilarious! If you ever have the chance to hear her speak I definitely recommend it.
Profile Image for Susan Bazzett-Griffith.
2,017 reviews61 followers
October 14, 2024
I really enjoyed this essay collection. It was relatable and a fantastic book to read just a chapter at a time. Will keep this Canadian writer in mind for when I'm looking for more creative non-fiction. 4 stars.
Profile Image for Kats.
758 reviews55 followers
December 30, 2014
Having never heard of this author before (I would have if I were a knitter, it seems), I didn't have any expectations at all. Surely this helped my unadulterated enjoyment of her collection of essays, some of which were hilarious, others more quiet and insightful. This is my breakdown of them:

Thirteen A story about the author's level of determination when it came to mastering the art of cycling with clip-ons. 4/5

Marks left on you An essay on parenting. 3/5

Metal tornado About her love for science-fiction thrillers and why zombies are non-sense to any rational mind. I couldn't agree more. 4/5

Writer An essay on the difference between writers and authors. Interesting but slightly condescending. 3/5

A late Guy Excellent description of her husband's chronic lateness, and how his mind works. I was baffled by her tolerance, and it helped me understand how some people have an entirely different concept of time keeping. 4/5

Let me get the duster An essay of how the author's sister is so much more fun than she is. A little self-indulgent but food for thought of how we label children/family members and those attributes become self-fulfilling prophecies. 3/5

I love you, Walter Something that really hit home with me.... a visceral fear of dental problems and an innate distrust of anyone who's choose to work in the dental profession. Scary but also very funny. 5/5

..... being on borrowed internet time, i will have to complete my review in the new year when I am online again properly....
Profile Image for Margot.
687 reviews19 followers
May 18, 2017
This is the first (and perhaps only) of knitting wizard Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's wonderful memoirs that really has nothing to do with knitting. And it may also, surprisingly, be my favorite of her collections that I've read so far.

The Amazing Thing About the Way It Goes spans the gamut of general life challenges, such as disorganized husbands, raising teenagers, and the hazards of long-distance bike riding. I laughed out loud at so many of these stories, and really didn't want to put this book down. I read at home (instead of watching tv), I read while waiting at the bus stop (instead of listening to an audio book), I read on my lunch breaks while sitting in my favorite coffee shop. And I laughed out loud in all those places. I also instantly wanted to share many of these stories with particular loved ones, because they're so easy to sympathize and connect with. This collection was definitely a home-run for me.
Profile Image for Barth Siemens.
363 reviews12 followers
January 1, 2018
I should probably face the fact that, as much as I enjoy humourous, autobiographical essays, I appreciate other forms of writing so much more. Actually, I should realize that the best way for me to digest these journals is one at a time with breaks, as I read the authors blog.

But I have this need to quickly finish books that I start—to my detriment, because this is funny and touching stuff.

So, I'll keep reading the Yarn Harlot's blog, and support her work by buying her books. What else would I do?
Profile Image for Sarah.
22 reviews1 follower
November 2, 2014
Disappointing.

Not as funny as her books usually are. I only laughed out loud in the first couple of chapters, the rest gained a smile at best.

This book is primarily about parenting and how much cooler she thinks her sister is.

I was glad to have borrowed the book from the library rather than paying for it. I generally like the author's style, but this book felt flat- many of the essays felt/read like filler, so that there was enough content to call it a book.
Profile Image for Julia.
418 reviews1 follower
June 3, 2014
Fun. Our beloved Yarn Harlot has this way of writing that feels so intimate. This was less a book of essays, and more a catch-up with my friend Steph. Who I have met. And with whom I have a picture. In which I am wearing a sweater I knitted...Kind of like wearing the t-shirt of the band you're going to see. But I rocked it. So does she.
Profile Image for Cyndy.
38 reviews
April 20, 2015
This is a book of humorous essays - just light reading. The author has a blog, which is mostly about knitting but also about her life. Her other books have all been stories about knitting with a lot of humor involved. This one had no knitting at all. She is a good writer, but i did like her other books better.
Profile Image for Laura.
28 reviews
April 11, 2014
Another great collection of essays by Stephanie. This is the first of her books that is not directed at knitters, and as such is more accessible. While I love Stephanie and her writing, I have to say that this book is not funny - rather, it's heart-warming and poignant. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Vicki.
224 reviews4 followers
July 19, 2014
I love Stephanie's books about knitting and it turns out I love her books not about knitting too. I think it's because she makes me feel normal, not neurotic and harassed like I usually feel! You don't have to be a knitter to read this book, you just have to be a person.
Profile Image for Julie.
822 reviews16 followers
November 9, 2014
Humorous essays about everyday life. I always enjoy Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's writing, and this book is no exception. I do miss her knitting-related musings, however, so this book was less interesting to me.
Profile Image for Mya.
314 reviews5 followers
April 7, 2014
I love reading these essays. They make me laugh, make me cry, and always make an impression on me. But wait....she doesn't like pie?
Profile Image for Harper.
145 reviews24 followers
January 4, 2015
I vastly prefer Peal-McPhee's knitting stories and am looking forward to her next anthology.
Profile Image for Rachel.
512 reviews34 followers
November 3, 2016
I have loved the Yarn Harlot's blog for years and think she is incredibly smart and funny about not just knitting but life in general. And yet when I read one of her knitting books a few years ago, it fell flat for me. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, but it honestly wasn't as clever and funny as what I expected and so I haven't rushed out to read any more of her books. Then recently I was at a fiber fest and saw she was signing books and really wanted to get her to sign one for my mom. And so I grabbed this one. I almost mailed it out to my mom and then I decided that I should read it first. I'm incredibly glad I did.

It's smart and it's funny. The skunk story had me laughing so hard I was crying and it has been a long time since a book made me do that. But I think why I rated this so high was that I got a glimpse into her insecurities and how she battles them day to day. She's incredibly popular and she shares a lot of her life online, but this book felt more personal and more daring. I admire that she shared what she did. And for someone who has similar struggles with insecurities and self-esteem, the book offered me insight into how to handle those struggles with grace and charm. I will send this copy to my mom but I think I'll be purchasing my own copy to reference time and time again.

At the time of purchase, my friend kept pushing me to get a picture with Stephanie to show my mom. Being completely socially awkward and having a hatred of all photos of myself, I did not do this. After reading this book, I'm very glad that I made that decision to not inflict my awkward on her awkward!
Profile Image for Jessica Robinson.
696 reviews26 followers
March 22, 2018
If I could petition Goodreads for anything, it would definitely be for them to allow half-stars because this is a 3.5 if anything in the world is. I enjoyed the essays in this collection, laughed out loud like a crazy person a couple of times, and will surely forget everything I read by the time next Wednesday rolls around, and not just because I have the memory of an excitable goldfish. I do remember books better than people and while this book is funny and relatable, it doesn't stand out enough for the last half-star to make it a 4.
Profile Image for Susan Baranoff.
849 reviews10 followers
October 10, 2018
The chapter entitled "Writer" pretty much sums up what is wrong with this book. As the author explains chaining herself to the desk until the required number of words for the day written I found myself missing her easy, funny style from when she was mostly a knitter who also writes instead of a writer who occasionally mentions her knitting. I rarely put down a book before I finish it, but by the time I was 5 essays into this one I wished I had never paid for it. Bye, bye, former Yarn Harlot, it was fun while it lasted.
Profile Image for Kristin.
1,044 reviews34 followers
December 21, 2016
2.5 stars

I didn't enjoy this one nearly as much as I did the other two of her books that I've read. I think it was because there was almost no knitting here. The essays are about life, and knitting is briefly mentioned but never the main focus of the humor. So I just wasn't feeling it. Some of the essays near the end were pretty good, and Stephanie Pearl-McPhee is a good storyteller, but overall it wasn't what I was expecting.
Profile Image for Kathy .
128 reviews
February 14, 2024
I met Stephanie Pearl-McPhee some years ago at a yarn store event. She was charming, gracious, and funny, not to mention very knowledgeable about knitting. Her books over the years have become less about the knitting and more of a 21st century Erma Bombeck style - which is no small compliment - and this one in particular struck a chord with me in this moment of my life. Thoughtful and honest and, yes, funny.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 148 reviews

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