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Prospect House #1

Pets in a Pickle

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Drawing on his own experiences of working as a vet, Malcolm Welshman brings to life a wealth of colorful characters—including the formidable practice receptionist, Beryl, with her one steely eye—and an ark's worth of marvelous animals. As enchanting as it is funny, this wonderful story will delight any animal fan. When Paul Mitchell arrives for his first day's work at Prospect House Veterinary Hospital, he never expects this. On his very first day, he is bitten by a feisty hamster, but this is a mere prelude to a cavalcade of hilarious—and often painful—encounters with fish, flesh, and fowl. From stalking a feral cat to rescuing a cow stuck in a gravel pit, life is never short of animal adventures for the newly qualified vet. On top of treating all manner of creatures at the practice, Paul and his girlfriend Lucy also nurse a host of waifs and strays back to health at their home. Besides six budgerigars, two love birds, a hoard of guinea pigs, and three tabby cats, their menagerie includes Gertie the Goose, whose talent for house security saves her from the Christmas Day table, and Nelson, their lovable—and stone deaf—Jack Russell.

321 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 1, 2006

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390 people want to read

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Malcolm D. Welshman

9 books7 followers

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5 stars
166 (19%)
4 stars
188 (22%)
3 stars
323 (38%)
2 stars
125 (15%)
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30 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews
Profile Image for chloe.
421 reviews267 followers
July 28, 2017
What a hilarious book!

In Pets in a Pickle, we read about Paul Mitchell's adventures at work. I love how Paul always quotes the Sound of Music and refers to Dr Sharpe as Julie Andrews.

The animals in the story are all lovable and funny, making me laugh all the way through the book. Thank you Penny for suggesting such a fun book for us to read!
242 reviews6 followers
September 17, 2012
When this book was offered, as a freebie for my e-reader, the advertising teasers suggested that it reflected the warmth of Herriot’s All Creatures Great and Small with the humor of Mark Twain. Perhaps it was the distinct British “flavor” with which this novel was written (Mr. Welshman IS British) that helped me to miss the subtleties of the genre and to miss out on the promised humor. Alas, not all gifts are worth their cost.
When Mr. Paul Mitchell, recent graduate in Veterinary Surgery, arrives for a job interview at a well-known Veterinary Hospital, he is offered the job as gardener. It seems his appearance lead his perspective boss to assume shoveling “manure” was more his talent than caring for hurting animals. There are points in the next eight months, which is the duration of time the book covers, where he ponders if that would not have been the better choice. The reader is given the tour of his early career as he cares for animals suitable for an exotic zoo – guinea pigs, aged dogs, kittens, cows, horses, parrots, geese, snakes – all while he manages to develop a relationship with one of the Veterinary nurses who works in the same hospital.
If the reader likes animals, a rather chaotic pace with romantic undertones, this book would be an excellent choice. I found the chapters to be more loosely connected stories more than a coherent novel but would be better suited as collection of short stories. The characters were flat, never being allowed to breathe or develop beyond the initial impression the reader is given of them. While some of the predicaments in which the young Mr. Mitchell finds himself could have been humorous, the set-up for their plausible occurrence was over-contrived, improbable or sought humor in creating a “hostile work environment.”
I suspect this book is the first of a series. If so, I wish Mr. Welshman all the luck in its success. However, there was not enough in this first volume to encourage me to seek to learn of the further exploits of Mr. Paul Mitchell, Veterinary Surgeon.
Profile Image for Slick Dungeon.
29 reviews15 followers
August 5, 2019
I thought that I would end up hating this book more than I do. I will admit there is some decent humor in it and if you love The Sound of Music, animals, and bad puns, this is the book for you. Unfortunately, I cannot stand The Sound of Music, only appreciate my own bad puns, and am so so on animals in general. As far as animals go, it really depends on if they are the type to try to bite me or not.

The basic plot is that Paul is a new veterinarian in a small country town and there is a series of cute-ish stories where a pet needs some attention, Paul has no idea what he is doing, but somehow manages to save the pet anyway, repeat. Instead of really analyze the plot I am going to just point out some things that either made no sense or I personally disliked.

I am not sure if it’s the case that Paul comes from a very bad veterinarian school, or if he is just dumb. In the first chapter he sticks his hands into a cage, then is surprised by the fact that his finger gets bit by a hamster. He didn’t even seem to know that he was going to see a hamster. Let me give you a clue, dude, check the chart first! Or if you can’t even do that, ask the owners, what have you got there for me in the cage?

In the second chapter, Paul, sees a bird and doesn’t seem to know what to do to treat it. He figures it out but acts like he has never seen a bird in his life. So, what exactly was he studying? This goes on like this, chapter after chapter. Horse? Never foaled one before. Cow? Haven’t seen one. Pig, nope. He does seem to know what dogs and cats are at least, so I’ll give him those. I get that he is new and all, but come on man, tell me you at least saw a freaking lecture on this stuff or something. If that’s how human doctors learn, I am glad I am stuck down in this dungeon, not at the doctor’s office.

Paul has a serious Julie Andrews obsession. Like in a majorly unhealthy way. He goes to interview for his job at a vet’s office and the vet in charge reminds him of Julie Andrews. Specifically Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. Now, it’s my personal hang up that whenever I hear Do Re Mi, I go into an uncontrollable rage, plug my ears and start singing Hell’s Bells by AC/DC just to counteract it. Years and years of a younger sister and repeated rainy day viewings of that film classic will do that to you. But Paul’s thing just gets weird.

Why is it weird? Glad I asked myself. So, for starters, Crystal (the vet) is married to Eric (who also works in this office) and Paul is dating a vet’s assistant named Lucy (who also works in this office). Yet, Paul is constantly fantasizing about being with Crystal in a romantic sense, picturing her as Julie Andrews. I’m talking at least three times a chapter. And even stranger, he tells us at one point, that he keeps thinking of her that way because his mother was in a play version of The Sound of Music so that’s why he is attracted to her. A, ewwwwwwww. B, this kind of thing is reserved for George R.R. Martin ok? Find your own creepy material.

The puns in this novel are relentless. Non-stop. Never ending. And seriously predictable. Is there a pig in the chapter? Paul will save his bacon. Is Paul waiting in a field with a cow? He could be there till the cows come home. Is Paul seeing a bird? Don’t ruffle his feathers. If you need a few thousand dad worthy puns, this is your book.

This is a vet’s office right? But a guy brings in a snake and literally everyone but Paul and Crystal clear out as if the place were on fire. I know some people have phobias and all, but if you work in a vets office that takes all animals, you’re gonna have to expect some snakes. Besides, it could be worse, they could be on a plane.

Lucy and Paul live together for a good chunk of the book but she seems to sour on the relationship near the end. It’s never really explained why she sours on Paul or exactly why she wants to be with him at the end. If you are going to have a falling out with the main love interest in the book, do the audience a favor, and explain what it’s all about. There is a sequel to this book so it could be there, but no way do I care enough to find out. I’m going to give you my reason. Paul probably wouldn’t shut up about Julie Andrews, Lucy saw Paul looking wantonly at Crystal and figured things out, then Paul mentioned his mother and Lucy left as is reasonable. That’s just me speculating though.

Remember when I said I wasn’t sure if Paul was dumb or if it was a bad veterinary school he came from? I can’t say for sure about the vet school but by the end I was convinced Paul was dumb. Why? He talks to, is attracted to, and gets a hug from a firefighter and is not sure if she is a woman until she specifically says she is. I know it can be hard to tell gender (no judgments from me on what gender (or non-gender) you choose to be) and firefighters can have a lot of gear on, making it tough to see who is inside, But Paul was right up close talking to her, found her attractive, and instead of thinking, this is probably a woman I am talking to, starts to question his own sexuality. Maybe I am wrong though, maybe Paul is actually just visually impaired? I don’t know, it was weird and it made me think Paul was dumb from the way it was written.

Finally, and I will tell you this is my biggest problem with this book, there were no pickles mentioned. Where were the pickles? Big green pickles? Pigs eating some pickles? Tiny mice somehow literally stuck in a pickle (or even a pickle jar)? A game of pickle from baseball where an animal is running from base to base? NOPE! Not a single pickle. Never once mentioned. And the potential for puns in all of those situations is astronomical. I want my money of the zero dollars I paid for this book back. Plus a pickle.

If you liked this review, check out my blog at Slick Dungeon's Dusty Tomes and Terrible Films where I review books that I'd rather not read and review films that no one should see.
Profile Image for Laurie.
468 reviews
September 21, 2012
Along with many other readers who got this as a B&N Free Friday book for their Nook, I grabbed this likely successor to the James Herriot books which I loved when I was young.

This book felt as if someone had decided to update that venerable series, and change out one set of larger-than-life characters for another. But none of these is particularly likable, the stories aren't very compelling, and (as many others have mentioned) the writer seems to think he can make up for his several deficiencies with incessant punning and other word play. I was weary of the narrative voice before I'd gotten through the first chapter. He seemed to me to be just trying too hard.
Profile Image for Nicol Legakis.
204 reviews32 followers
September 10, 2012
I was excited when I saw this "Free Nook Friday" book, because I LOVE James Herriot's books and this looked similar. I was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! First of all, this is fiction. Secondly, this book has many typos which drove me crazy. But most importantly, this book really lacked the ability to draw sympathy towards any of the characters. There was absolutely no character development and the different animal stories weren't even touching, funny, or poignant. The author focused far too much on absolutely ridiculous and incessant puns. In a nut shell, as the author would probably say: "After reading this book, I wish someone would pickle me!"
Profile Image for Ron.
Author 1 book168 followers
October 8, 2012
Pathetic. The plotting is reminiscent of the BBC "All Things Great and Small" series (not a complement), the characters are caricatures, and the writing is so "on the nose" that Welshman explains his jokes.

Another give away book not worth giving away. Don't waste your time.
Profile Image for Donna.
237 reviews21 followers
September 6, 2012
Fun, realistic, slightly daffy characters. Yep, this is a quick read, full of laughs and glimpses of people and their pets... may need an English to American dictionary (there were a couple of terms I can't figure out!). The Misses Stockwell, the actress Cavanaugh, Cyril the squirrel all combine into a delightful picture of life as a vet in a small English town. If you like the dry wit of British humor - this book's for you and your family!

Profile Image for Susan.
253 reviews47 followers
September 8, 2012
Two and a half stars would be a better rating for this one. It was a Free Friday book from B&N, and about animals. If you're looking for the next James Herriot, Malcolm Welshman is not it. This book is cute, but is not as loving in its descriptions of the characters or setting. And the puns! Too many puns! If you roll laughing at every single pun you encounter, you will enjoy the puns. Myself found there were just too many to even elicit groans by the end.
Profile Image for Old_airman.
235 reviews5 followers
September 14, 2012
Amusing compilation of stories concerning the life of a young veterinarian. The near constant puns and other word plays get old. If the book had been edited down a bit, it would have been much better.
Profile Image for Leanneo.
22 reviews
December 28, 2012
Funny, often poignant without being maudlin. I thoroughly enjoyed it and the Author's dry wit had me chuckling out loud on more than one occasion. Delightful read.
Profile Image for Nick Albert.
Author 17 books26 followers
September 7, 2018
A great story from a new vet.

If you enjoy stories about animals or vets, you'll surely love Pets in a Pickle. Mr Welshman has done a terrific job of painting the characters and relating the struggles of a young vet in his first job. Expect many laughs and a few tears. His love of animals is plain to see, but the story blends this well with the frustrations of life and a difficult relationship. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Twig.
101 reviews
January 30, 2023
I just wanted to read a book about animals and a vet, but instead I had to put up with useless sexist and sometimes racist language with no explanation. The parts involving animals were often entertaining, especially when they ended up well, but I hated everything else. The author is so disrespectful to the people who's animals he has treated and is constantly sexualising people for no reason and it honestly made me so uncomfortable.
Profile Image for Penny.
339 reviews2 followers
July 30, 2017
This is the 4th book Chloe and I have read, a light easy to read book.
If your a fan of James Herriot you will enjoy this.
Some hilarious laugh out loud stories, about Malcolm Welshman's own experiences as a vet, some of the pickles are not just the pets as Malcolm gets himself into some as well! 📚😄
Profile Image for Kathy.
81 reviews
September 30, 2018
What a fun and hilarious look into the life of a brand new vet, right our of vet school as he enters a practice with eclectic people and their pets. I laughed and laughed and laughed at the everyday adventure of being a vet in the UK. A great read that I thoroughly reccommend!
Profile Image for Dee Renee  Chesnut.
1,698 reviews41 followers
December 16, 2018
I downloaded this ebook to my Nook library in 2012 when it was free from Barnes and Noble.
I enjoyed the memoirs of the first year of a vet in a new practice. I recommend it to readers who enjoyed books by James Herriot.
Profile Image for Yakking Yogini.
269 reviews
May 18, 2022
A funny, lighthearted memoir about a newly graduated veterinarian starting work in rural England. Enjoyed the dialog of pet owners and antics of various pets brought to him for help. Newer story similar to James Herriot’s All Creatures Great & Small, but told with humor.
Profile Image for Lauren K.
764 reviews47 followers
November 5, 2017
A whimsical story of a young vet in the English countryside. Reminds me of the James Herriot books but in modern day. There were plenty of laughs and a few gasps but overall I really enjoyed it!
113 reviews
January 26, 2021
It was fine, a bit like James Heriot, but there was a lot about his romances and less about his care of the animals than I prefer
Profile Image for Rie.
57 reviews14 followers
October 9, 2018
So I finished this book. I kinda had high hopes for it because I love animals and vets. It got me a little sad to find out that the stories did not include any turtle, because I own one myself. But anyway, I think the author could send out the book to beta readers for editing and stuff to improve on before he published it, because I often found some parts of the main character's internal talks somewhat... meh. Like, Crystal is a professional and his boss (who is also married, may I note), he always always thought how lovely she looked with lots of silly adjectives/descriptions. I could barely read through those.

Then there's the one particular story I didn't know why I was annoyed to read through it---the baby squirrel one. It read silly, felt silly, I almost quit reading the book at that point (but for the sake of reaching my annual reading challenge, I did not). There were some bits that were funny alright, like when he caught the black cat in the greenhouse, as well as many puns. I like them. But you do want to know overdoing them isn't good either. Sometime too much is too much.

Lastly, I think the book really should add some notes on the bottom of pages for specific medical or veterinarian terms, because I didn't know what all those mean and I had look it up because... it is a book about vets. How do you know how serious the case is if I don't know what the terms even mean?

That's kinda all.
Profile Image for Erth.
4,465 reviews
October 17, 2018
now i am hooked. This was such a great, easy and creative book. i was hooked after the first page.

The characters were easy to fall in love with and follow, along with the story. the author made the mental visions so easy and vivid of the surroundings and the characters actions felt so real.

i would highly recommend this author and this book.
Profile Image for Steven.
Author 3 books11 followers
October 9, 2012
A young man graduates from Veterinary school and starts learning the ropes at a small vet clinic in rural England. He must not only deal with the patients (a surprising variety for such a small town), but the employees, his boss (who he has a crush on for her resemblance to Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music"), and the nurse assistant with whom he falls in love. Told in episodic format, this book moves along fairly quickly and mixes vet medicine with a love story and humor.

The good: For the most part, this story sounds pretty real. The characters are only slightly caricatured, but most things leave you fairly grounded in reality. And there are a few parts in this book that are laugh out loud funny.

The bad: I wanted to give this book 3 1/2 stars, but it's not 4. The episodic telling (each chapter is a little event) doesn't really lend itself to a "story" if you know what I mean. It's kind of like slices of life. So by the time you get about three-quarters of the way through, the book starts sounding a bit repetitive. And the other reason it's not 4 stars is that there are some things left unresolved. The protagonist has this crazy crush on his boss, but it never goes anywhere. You keep expecting something to happen, particularly with all the attention the author gives it, but nothing. The protagonist also gets involved in a relationship with a nurse assistant at the clinic, but that never goes anywhere either. The author never really addresses why the two have relationship issues and how they get solved. Really, I was left thinking the nurse assistant is just bipolar or something. I mean, come on, if you're going to spend that much time talking about a relationship, spend a little more to make it real. It's just one of those, "We were having problems. Then a pet nearly died, we saved it, and now we're okay." Huh??

If you're into animals and want to read something that can be picked up and put down over a long time without really losing the story, this is a decent book. Just don't expect much more than that. Kind of like a TV sitcom revolving around a vet clinic. Not bad, but definitely not great.
Profile Image for Lis Carey.
2,213 reviews136 followers
October 11, 2012
Paul Mitchell is a young, newly-minted veterinarian, beginning his career at Prospect House Veterinary Hospital. Everyone, from the vet owners of the practice on down, is eccentric, to put it mildly. This includes the husband and wife who own the practice and who have their own very decided views, the receptionist with one working eye and one false eye, which comes out accidentally from time to time, and other support staff including Lucy, the young vet tech who becomes Paul's girl friend. She keeps rescuing animals, and she and Paul have a steadily growing menagerie, including the goose originally acquired for Christmas dinner, but who proved too good at home security to eat.

But the eccentricities of the staff are as nothing compared to the eccentricities of the clients and other assorted neighbors. There are the two older ladies still actively farming, and still living in a time about four decades ago, at least. There is the family with one dearly loved pet pig among the livestock on their farm, and the couple who dote on their pregnant mare, and are convinced that normal symptoms foretell the imminent loss of their pet.

It's clear the aim of this book was to tap into the ample market created by James Herriot's tales of his veterinary adventures. Pets in a Pickle is a fun book, but not in James Herriot territory, sadly. It suffers from the fact that fiction has to be plausible, while non-fiction only has to be true.

Fun but lightweight.
155 reviews
September 12, 2013
Drawing on his own experiences of working as a vet, Malcolm Welshman brings to life a wealth of colorful characters—including the formidable practice receptionist, Beryl, with her one steely eye—and an ark's worth of marvelous animals. As enchanting as it is funny, this wonderful story will delight any animal fan. When Paul Mitchell arrives for his first day's work at Prospect House Veterinary Hospital, he never expects this. On his very first day, he is bitten by a feisty hamster, but this is a mere prelude to a cavalcade of hilarious—and often painful—encounters with fish, flesh, and fowl. From stalking a feral cat to rescuing a cow stuck in a gravel pit, life is never short of animal adventures for the newly qualified vet. On top of treating all manner of creatures at the practice, Paul and his girlfriend Lucy also nurse a host of waifs and strays back to health at their home. Besides six budgerigars, two love birds, a hoard of guinea pigs, and three tabby cats, their menagerie includes Gertie the Goose, whose talent for house security saves her from the Christmas Day table, and Nelson, their lovable—and stone deaf—Jack Russell.
Profile Image for Mel.
83 reviews3 followers
October 14, 2012
This is one of those charming books that grows on you. Though not a memoir, the novel is based on the authors own experiences. I thought it read like a memoir.

Normally, I can't handle books with animals because I get too worried about the animals. I thought that this might be a little too emotional for me. Only one part was too graphic for me. A quick click of the forward button on my Nook and I didn't have to read that part.

The characters are a bit eccentric. You think the employees are a little off and then you meet the customers! Their quirks made them all the more likeable. They seem like the type of people you might meet in your every day life.

Parts of the book are tense as some of the situations the animals are in are dire. Others are downright funny. It's a good balance and made for a good read.
Profile Image for Karey.
81 reviews1 follower
February 26, 2013
Very lighthearted. Based on the actual experiences of the author, who is also a Veterinarian. The characters and the animal patients in this small British town were quirky but also felt real. A few things I didn't like...Paul's relationship with the assistant Lucy. I couldn't decide if I was supposed to like her or not. Her moods were all over the place and the reader was never really led to a reason for that. The author just mentions that she feels unappreciated in the office. How that translates into her being hot & cold with Paul, I am not sure. I also felt like that situation was not fully resolved because the story ended so abruptly. It did not feel finished. Maybe the author plans on writing a sequel. In any case, I wouldn't feel compelled to run out and buy a subsequent book.
411 reviews3 followers
August 21, 2016
What a load of tripe. I was given this as a gift and wish I'd never started it. I don't like leaving books half finished, so I completed it, hoping it might improve along the way. It didn't.

The stories of life as a vet are so contrived as to be ridiculous. Then there are the awful puns. The author doesn't appear to think that a chapter is complete without at least a dozen awful puns on the situation at hand.

What I really didn't like though were the creepy and sometimes lewd thoughts the main character, Paul, often had for some of his female clients, and his female boss in particular. Despite being in a relationship with the practice's trainee nurse, Lucy. It didn't endear him to me. It just made me want to slap him.

There are far better "vet anecdote" stories out there. If that's the sort of thing you want, read James Herriot.
Profile Image for Jessica.
275 reviews9 followers
September 29, 2012
This was a freebie on my Nook and it sounded lighthearted which is something I needed as I'm tackling a huge book at the same time.

Each chapter is a different tale of life in a British vet clinic for a newly practicing doctor. The author had some very well created "characters" obviously based on some of his real clients. There were bits of humor, but beware, it is British humor and lost on some non-Brits. Some of the puns made me want to roll my eyes instead of laugh.

Recommend this book for easy reading to break the boredom of waiting in lines, doctors offices, etc as you don't have to keep track of what's happening as there's no plot to these tales. They are simply cute little slices of life to fill some time. And it was free, so win-win!
Profile Image for Rebecca.
59 reviews3 followers
October 12, 2011
Join Paul Mitchell, a newly qualified vet, as he embarks upon his first job at Prospect House Veterinary Hospital. Along the way you will meet a multitude of hilarious and bizarre characters with afflictions including baldness, bites and obesity. And that’s not just the animals. Pets in a Pickle is a light-hearted romp that will certainly appeal to animal lovers and provide some genuine laugh out loud moments. Welshman has Paul’s veterinary experiences play out as pun-tastic thematic comedy sketches. The wordplay may be a little cringey at times, but that’s all part of the light hearted and frivolous fun.

Like my reviews? Go to http://booksbeccabuys.wordpress.com for more.
Profile Image for Sofia.
853 reviews28 followers
November 24, 2012
This was one of the Free Friday Nook deals. For being a free e-book, it was charming enough, although it's not going to win any awards. I'll admit that I'm a sucker for animal stories, and most of these vignettes had happy endings; the few that didn't added some poignancy to the overall narrative. I didn't, however, realize that this book was fiction until I finished it and noticed the author's name. I totally thought this was a memoir written by an actual vet, which would have explained the somewhat subpar writing and the endless bad puns -- knowing now that it's written by a real writer... well, it definitely does not warrant more than three stars.
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