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Diddly Squat #3
Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly
Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy's had his work cut out. And it's now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there's only one golden you hope will happen, won't. Enthusiastic schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb – although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy's brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie is still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that's incoming . . . But he charges by the hour. Then there are the the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro; the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths. But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It's hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner. And, after all, it shouldn't just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending . . . Diddly Squat, Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022
137 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 26, 2023
326 people are currently reading
2151 people want to read
About the author
Jeremy Clarkson
69 books1,040 followersJeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born April 11, 1960) is an English broadcaster and writer who specialises in motoring.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 208 reviews
February 28, 2025
This third installment of the Diddly Squat series is the best one yet. Jeremy Clarkson has now turned into a farmer after his three years on the farm and he tackles his problems like farmers do, with ingenuity and a lot of hope. This one has more to do with his attempt at pig farming and the loss of government funding to farmers and his other attempts at keeping his farm afloat.
The book has the two best chapters of the series for me, which is "Break Heart Maestro" where he rents in a bull to breed with his cows, and "True heaven is a place on earth" where he goes to the Moreton-in-Marsh Agricultural and Horse Show and how he loves it.
This is again classic Clarkson and I highly recommend this to all fans of him.
The book has the two best chapters of the series for me, which is "Break Heart Maestro" where he rents in a bull to breed with his cows, and "True heaven is a place on earth" where he goes to the Moreton-in-Marsh Agricultural and Horse Show and how he loves it.
This is again classic Clarkson and I highly recommend this to all fans of him.
October 31, 2023
Another funny book from Jeremy. This one made me chuckle but, my only complaint it's too short. I wanted more. Hopefully Another book is being written as we speak.
December 14, 2023
Year three on Diddly Squat and Clarkson is finally getting into the swing of this whole farming thing. Except for the fact that if he wants something to happen, it doesn't. Taken from his Sunday Times newspaper column, this book brings together his anecdotes about life in the English countryside and his efforts to go from petrol head to pig farmer.
I admit it. I am a sucker. Every year, I go out and buy Clarkson's latest publication because a) I don't read the Sunday Times, b) I own pretty much all of them and want to keep the set 'complete' and c) because generally I find him a funny, uncouth and enjoyable read - I don't necessarily agree with everything he says, but either way it's the way he expresses himself that makes him entertaining.
But, since he's switched from publishing his motoring/general life columns to his farming exploits, I've been finding myself more and more disappointed. And this one feels like we might have hit bottom. A significant chunk of the book is blank pages, chapter breaks and or illustrations (which I do concede are very good). With only 20 articles at 5-6 pages apiece, you wouldn't have paid that much more for the relevant editions of the newspaper, and you'd have got far more for your money! I'm definitely glad I waited until I saw it on sale.
The substantive content also left me wanting when compared to the comedy of the TV series. Looking at it from a sympathetic point of view, I suspect it's because he's fallen a little bit in love with being a farmer, and so he's actually trying now, rather than playing up to his character if the orangutan who hits stuff with a hammer and shouts a lot. As a result, the humour feels almost completely absent from this book; it's not like his writing style has undergone a dramatic transformation, but his 'voice' felt like it was missing for me. I can certainly get behind him taking his role as an unofficial ambassador for farming seriously, but it doesn't stop me missing the big idiot a bit.
I think I said this in my reviews for his previous two books, but another big issue I have is that his older books flowed, with weekly columns following on from one another, referencing in-jokes that might go on for years and personal moments that would come up time and time again. However, while the columns for Diddly Squat are sequential, there are clearly gaps between each one (I assume where he is writing about going backwards around a corner at 100mph with his hair on fire while shouting). As a result, the familiarity and flow is lost; each article has to stand alone, which doesn't do it or the overall narrative justice. In this book it's particularly noticeable; it's structured in the same way as before so you do have an indicator of the season, but apart from a mention of Christmas in one, the articles themselves don't really offer any sense of time.
Something else that struck me was the lack of 'struggle' in this year's instalment. There is an abstract reference to the NIMBYs that don't want his farm shop and a couple of mentions of the potential monetary losses, but again what makes the TV series so effective - watching a novice try to get to grips with all the rules, regulations, red tape and red-trouser brigade that come with being who he is and doing what he is - has been almost entirely omitted. I will be interested to see how much there is included in the next series. Of course I hope that life is made easier for him and all farmers, but this doesn't feel quite true to life.
I guarantee you I'll be here this time next year, but I will be keeping my fingers crossed for an overdue return to form.
I admit it. I am a sucker. Every year, I go out and buy Clarkson's latest publication because a) I don't read the Sunday Times, b) I own pretty much all of them and want to keep the set 'complete' and c) because generally I find him a funny, uncouth and enjoyable read - I don't necessarily agree with everything he says, but either way it's the way he expresses himself that makes him entertaining.
But, since he's switched from publishing his motoring/general life columns to his farming exploits, I've been finding myself more and more disappointed. And this one feels like we might have hit bottom. A significant chunk of the book is blank pages, chapter breaks and or illustrations (which I do concede are very good). With only 20 articles at 5-6 pages apiece, you wouldn't have paid that much more for the relevant editions of the newspaper, and you'd have got far more for your money! I'm definitely glad I waited until I saw it on sale.
The substantive content also left me wanting when compared to the comedy of the TV series. Looking at it from a sympathetic point of view, I suspect it's because he's fallen a little bit in love with being a farmer, and so he's actually trying now, rather than playing up to his character if the orangutan who hits stuff with a hammer and shouts a lot. As a result, the humour feels almost completely absent from this book; it's not like his writing style has undergone a dramatic transformation, but his 'voice' felt like it was missing for me. I can certainly get behind him taking his role as an unofficial ambassador for farming seriously, but it doesn't stop me missing the big idiot a bit.
I think I said this in my reviews for his previous two books, but another big issue I have is that his older books flowed, with weekly columns following on from one another, referencing in-jokes that might go on for years and personal moments that would come up time and time again. However, while the columns for Diddly Squat are sequential, there are clearly gaps between each one (I assume where he is writing about going backwards around a corner at 100mph with his hair on fire while shouting). As a result, the familiarity and flow is lost; each article has to stand alone, which doesn't do it or the overall narrative justice. In this book it's particularly noticeable; it's structured in the same way as before so you do have an indicator of the season, but apart from a mention of Christmas in one, the articles themselves don't really offer any sense of time.
Something else that struck me was the lack of 'struggle' in this year's instalment. There is an abstract reference to the NIMBYs that don't want his farm shop and a couple of mentions of the potential monetary losses, but again what makes the TV series so effective - watching a novice try to get to grips with all the rules, regulations, red tape and red-trouser brigade that come with being who he is and doing what he is - has been almost entirely omitted. I will be interested to see how much there is included in the next series. Of course I hope that life is made easier for him and all farmers, but this doesn't feel quite true to life.
I guarantee you I'll be here this time next year, but I will be keeping my fingers crossed for an overdue return to form.
January 12, 2024
Stopped due to random transphobia 😅😅
January 24, 2025
The last chapter about goats absolutely made my day!
July 1, 2024
For my full review, visit me at https://mrsbrownsbooks.wordpress.com/...
A return to Clarkson’s farm for another collection of articles that were published in The Sunday Times, I once again enjoyed this narrative. I find Clarkson’s voice entertaining, informing and warming as he details the daily struggles on his farm. Despite being three years into his venture, life does not get easier, the money grows ever-tighter and it seems that the government legislation gets tougher. It’s no fun being a farmer.
A return to Clarkson’s farm for another collection of articles that were published in The Sunday Times, I once again enjoyed this narrative. I find Clarkson’s voice entertaining, informing and warming as he details the daily struggles on his farm. Despite being three years into his venture, life does not get easier, the money grows ever-tighter and it seems that the government legislation gets tougher. It’s no fun being a farmer.
August 31, 2024
Another excellent read from Clarkson based on his farming lifestyle and antics with a lot of humorous parts to it. Again showing you the challenges and harsh realities of farming in the uk and follow up from his excellent series Clarksons Farm on Amazon. Very much looking forward to reading his new farming book that comes out in Autumn 2024.
April 9, 2024
These books are so damn easy to read. I actually love the way Jeremy writes... he isn't the most politically correct, but he writes with passion and feeling. Again, this is another great book about the struggles of farming. Can't wait for the new tv show to come out soon.
January 3, 2025
Just as good as the other two books, just an updated version.
Quite a nice quick read if you fancy it
Quite a nice quick read if you fancy it
January 16, 2025
More essays about Clarkson's Farm. If you like reading about farming and the pressures they endure from nature and the British Gov't, town councils than this book is for you.
November 15, 2024
I would like to offer my services to this ongoing series, and my offer is that I become the series’ official translator.
Now, I’m American, and we all know that my ancestors didn’t push a bunch of crates off a bunch of boats just so we could learn how to pronounce silly town names like Worcestershire and Shitterton. Actually, I think I’ve got that second one locked in, but the problem is people in the states need to know what the American equivalent to Shitterton is so that we can get maximum enjoyment from these books.
We could use celebrity equivalents, government equivalents, town council equivalents (sounds like an HOA to me, but with a dedicated meeting space instead of Patricia’s living room, which she calls a “parlor.”
Okay, yes, this is our fault as Americans because we know nothing about the world. But, c’mon, guys, did you know I can get in a car, hit the interstate (or “motorway”) and drive for 8 hours at 75 mph (like 40,000,0000,0000 km/h) and still be in the same state?! Which is one of FIFTY! This place is really, super big.
I followed a thread online once that was started by a few people from the UK who were coming to America, planning to drive straight through from New York to Los Angeles, and were asking if there was a good spot between the two…for lunch. You know, break up the 41 hours of driving with a nice club sandwich.
Also, did you know that we work like all the time? Our bosses basically force us to work because we have the audacity to want a walled structure to live inside of (which we rent from a person who owns many) and to occasionally visit a doctor. So it’s hard for us to jump on a plane and hit France or whatever, it’ll take us a full day to get there, cost $1,000, and we’ll need to be back at the ol desk a roonie on Monday, so we’ll have about 17 horrendously jet lagged hours with which to enjoy an entire country and its rich history.
Then we return and do our best to hold on tight to those memories, because you won’t be doing THAT again for another decade. But it’ll be 10:45 am and you’ll already have forgotten what French pastries smell and taste like, and you’ll have to settle for looking at a few pictures. Which, oddly, seem to be of strangers…oh, no, wait, that’s me. I just didn’t recognize myself, what with that weird thing I’m doing where the corners of my mouth go up instead of downward.
Now, I’m American, and we all know that my ancestors didn’t push a bunch of crates off a bunch of boats just so we could learn how to pronounce silly town names like Worcestershire and Shitterton. Actually, I think I’ve got that second one locked in, but the problem is people in the states need to know what the American equivalent to Shitterton is so that we can get maximum enjoyment from these books.
We could use celebrity equivalents, government equivalents, town council equivalents (sounds like an HOA to me, but with a dedicated meeting space instead of Patricia’s living room, which she calls a “parlor.”
Okay, yes, this is our fault as Americans because we know nothing about the world. But, c’mon, guys, did you know I can get in a car, hit the interstate (or “motorway”) and drive for 8 hours at 75 mph (like 40,000,0000,0000 km/h) and still be in the same state?! Which is one of FIFTY! This place is really, super big.
I followed a thread online once that was started by a few people from the UK who were coming to America, planning to drive straight through from New York to Los Angeles, and were asking if there was a good spot between the two…for lunch. You know, break up the 41 hours of driving with a nice club sandwich.
Also, did you know that we work like all the time? Our bosses basically force us to work because we have the audacity to want a walled structure to live inside of (which we rent from a person who owns many) and to occasionally visit a doctor. So it’s hard for us to jump on a plane and hit France or whatever, it’ll take us a full day to get there, cost $1,000, and we’ll need to be back at the ol desk a roonie on Monday, so we’ll have about 17 horrendously jet lagged hours with which to enjoy an entire country and its rich history.
Then we return and do our best to hold on tight to those memories, because you won’t be doing THAT again for another decade. But it’ll be 10:45 am and you’ll already have forgotten what French pastries smell and taste like, and you’ll have to settle for looking at a few pictures. Which, oddly, seem to be of strangers…oh, no, wait, that’s me. I just didn’t recognize myself, what with that weird thing I’m doing where the corners of my mouth go up instead of downward.
November 11, 2023
Another laugh-out-loud funny book from Jeremy Clarkson about his adventures running Diddly Squat Farm in the Cotswalds. There were, however, also some very contemplative and lovely moments. It was too short for me to be honest, I wanted more!
The drawings at the start of each chapter are great, just pencil sketches by the looks of things but give an insight in what each chapter is going to be about, and you can go back to look at them once you've read each chapter and see how it links into the story. My absolute favourite has to be the Winnie the Pooh poohsticks story. It's how I feel about the Winnie the Pooh stories - they're beautiful, not just children's stories but insights into life and feelings.
It's written in Clarkson's voice, with words like 'sheeps' and 'deers' and even as you're reading it, you can hear it in his voice. It's a fun, quick read.
The drawings at the start of each chapter are great, just pencil sketches by the looks of things but give an insight in what each chapter is going to be about, and you can go back to look at them once you've read each chapter and see how it links into the story. My absolute favourite has to be the Winnie the Pooh poohsticks story. It's how I feel about the Winnie the Pooh stories - they're beautiful, not just children's stories but insights into life and feelings.
It's written in Clarkson's voice, with words like 'sheeps' and 'deers' and even as you're reading it, you can hear it in his voice. It's a fun, quick read.
May 18, 2024
I watched the third season before reading this, and it does add a commentary for things that were happening alongside, and moments that weren’t part of the series.
It’s a super quick read, with plenty of blank pages, large font, and generous spacing. I had a library copy so it didn’t bother me, but it well might have if I’d bought it.
This was a more serious and less tongue in cheek addition, I assume because Jeremy has fallen into his role as a farmer and slightly knows what he’s doing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still funny, but possibly less whiny. It’s got those problematic moments, but I expect we all know they’re coming. He has a unique voice and it translates to the page, which is what makes these so entertaining to pick up.
It’s a super quick read, with plenty of blank pages, large font, and generous spacing. I had a library copy so it didn’t bother me, but it well might have if I’d bought it.
This was a more serious and less tongue in cheek addition, I assume because Jeremy has fallen into his role as a farmer and slightly knows what he’s doing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still funny, but possibly less whiny. It’s got those problematic moments, but I expect we all know they’re coming. He has a unique voice and it translates to the page, which is what makes these so entertaining to pick up.
February 26, 2025
Another fab book from Clarkson's farm! I love reading about Jeremy and Lisa, I watched the show a while ago so knew the gist if this book but it was funny to read about Jeremy's reactions to the forest " destroyer of worlds". I'm glad the piglet bit wasn't too long as it was a hard watch but easier read as it was a short chapter.
It must be hard to be a farmer and not see the animals as pets. I know at the end of the day, they are bred as livestock for food so you can't get attached but they live with you in a way. Giving them names makes it more personal.
Another enjoyable read and I like the way it follows closely to the show, it's nice to hear Jeremy's thoughts on each event.
It must be hard to be a farmer and not see the animals as pets. I know at the end of the day, they are bred as livestock for food so you can't get attached but they live with you in a way. Giving them names makes it more personal.
Another enjoyable read and I like the way it follows closely to the show, it's nice to hear Jeremy's thoughts on each event.
December 27, 2023
CAWPILE 7.29
Every Christmas for the last 2 years I've read Diddly Squat and thoroughly enjoyed myself. This Christmas I was very kindly gifted it by my sister, Amanda.
I love the wit, the humor, the facts and sad reality of farming but also the complete and utter ridiculousness of Jeremy Clarkson which shines through.
I love the short articles, the illustrations are beautiful and I love how it takes us through the seasons.
Every Christmas for the last 2 years I've read Diddly Squat and thoroughly enjoyed myself. This Christmas I was very kindly gifted it by my sister, Amanda.
I love the wit, the humor, the facts and sad reality of farming but also the complete and utter ridiculousness of Jeremy Clarkson which shines through.
I love the short articles, the illustrations are beautiful and I love how it takes us through the seasons.
August 21, 2024
Strangely my paperback has yellow sprayed edges despite the previous books in the series being left plain.
If books one and two had sprayed edges but the publishers chose to not continue with this for later works, I might be annoyed. But the fact the third book randomly starts this trend makes zero sense and I love it.
If books one and two had sprayed edges but the publishers chose to not continue with this for later works, I might be annoyed. But the fact the third book randomly starts this trend makes zero sense and I love it.
March 16, 2025
This is the third book in the Diddly Squat series, they can be read out of order though. I loved the program, and I can remember bits of the book from the program. The chapters are short and snappy and the author has filled them with his usual dry wit which had me laughing out loud throughout. Lots of funny bits, lots of harsh reality, but most of all it was quick and easy to read and I had it finished within the day. The goats had to be the best bit though, so funny!
July 31, 2025
3e livre sur Diddly Squat. Beaucoup plus léger que le tome 2, il est plus drôle, agréable et parle de la vie à la ferme, de l'élevage de cochons, des chèvres, de l'artisanat local et des déboires de Clarkson.
August 21, 2025
Jeremy Clarkson is a talented columnist. Case closed.
Everyone can act stuffy and all that, and drag your torpid, autopilot mind through a mushy opinion piece that tries to mock those who are not eating green enough, and after a never-ending barking, still manage to leave the conclusion for next week.
On his watch, even country life has a comedic spin to it. Crops may grow twice a year, but his gags bud several times a day. So much so it was made into a TV show. He would never allow a segment or a column to run too long without a few snappy jokes. Take this: he compares his members of staff to Winnie-the-Pooh and his friends, and citing the children’s books of the late A. A. Milne as his favourite literature, as a columnist.
Who is therefore not to be disliked. Of course a rich person has every reason to be hated. But in the odd circumstances of superlatives, you just can’t not like him. Daughters and sons of metropolises are soothed by the eponymous programme. They would too be amused if they read the clashing characters laid in these pages. I do mean it. It’s like seeing Piers Morgan getting a Brexit reckoning. Why not?
Everyone can act stuffy and all that, and drag your torpid, autopilot mind through a mushy opinion piece that tries to mock those who are not eating green enough, and after a never-ending barking, still manage to leave the conclusion for next week.
On his watch, even country life has a comedic spin to it. Crops may grow twice a year, but his gags bud several times a day. So much so it was made into a TV show. He would never allow a segment or a column to run too long without a few snappy jokes. Take this: he compares his members of staff to Winnie-the-Pooh and his friends, and citing the children’s books of the late A. A. Milne as his favourite literature, as a columnist.
Who is therefore not to be disliked. Of course a rich person has every reason to be hated. But in the odd circumstances of superlatives, you just can’t not like him. Daughters and sons of metropolises are soothed by the eponymous programme. They would too be amused if they read the clashing characters laid in these pages. I do mean it. It’s like seeing Piers Morgan getting a Brexit reckoning. Why not?
December 14, 2023
Very light-hearted and funny as per his previous two books. I enjoy the satire but it did feel a little over the top in this book, to the point I wanted a bit more factual real life stuff. But a very entertaining read and still insightful to farming life.
December 30, 2023
Lot's of humour, and less whinging than JC's last book so very good
January 3, 2024
I love the show and I love the books. Both make me chuckle but have also given me an insight into farming and how hard farming is.
January 16, 2024
Short. Fun Farm Frolics.
January 16, 2024
This would be way better as an audiobook, I can’t quite hit the Jeremy Clarkson sarcasm with the voice in my head as Jeremy can
January 23, 2024
Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly (Diddly Squat, #3) by Jeremy Clarkson
A huge fan of the show and I have read all the accompany books, Pigs might fly is a considerable shorter than what's gone before and lacks that insight that the previous books had.
It still has moments of laughter that only Clarkson can bring to the page but the overall feeling I got was that this one was more a shoehorned cash grab rather than waiting to accompany the 3rd series like the other two.
Still plenty here to enjoy but could do better just about worth your time and hard-earned cash.
A huge fan of the show and I have read all the accompany books, Pigs might fly is a considerable shorter than what's gone before and lacks that insight that the previous books had.
It still has moments of laughter that only Clarkson can bring to the page but the overall feeling I got was that this one was more a shoehorned cash grab rather than waiting to accompany the 3rd series like the other two.
Still plenty here to enjoy but could do better just about worth your time and hard-earned cash.
February 11, 2024
I really love the farm series and cannot wait for the new season.
I’ve read the previous books and loved those as well.
Witty and funny with depth and a bit of seriousness.
I’ve read the previous books and loved those as well.
Witty and funny with depth and a bit of seriousness.
March 11, 2024
Loved it, quickest book I've ever read. Can't wait for the next Clarkson instalment.
May 25, 2024
4.5 ⭐️
July 15, 2024
The previous books had a good flow between chapters but this one felt a little disjointed. Heads up that if you’ve watched the series there will be a lot of repetition but still a fun and enjoyable read.
August 12, 2024
Not a book that will impress your friends when you mention you’ve read it. Nevertheless, highly entertaining and gives some certain insights into modern farm life. Clarkson‘s sarcastic style is witty and funny.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 208 reviews