Roots of Empathy : Changing the World, Child by Child

by Mary Gordon

With violence, anti-social behaviour, bullying, and aggression among young children escalating at a frightening rate, it is clear that we need to develop a new understanding of childhood. Mary Gordon, an educator who has worked for more than two decades with children from all kinds of backgrounds, has discovered that the solution to bullying and other anti-social behaviour lies within each child's innate sense of caring and compassion. She believes that infusing children with empathy constitutes nothing less than a paradigm in our approach to child-raising. Empathy is the ability to understand another person's point of view and respect their feelings. Even the most troubled children can quell violent and aggressive behaviour if they are loved and nurtured. Through Roots of Empathy, her highly successful organization, Mary Gordon creates a rich, rewarding classroom experience that fosters empathy within children. Bringing babies and children together creates a symbiotic loving environment that reduces aggression in children while increasing tolerance and emotional literacy. An interactive experience for parents, teachers, and children, the Roots of Empathy program aims to solve current and future problems in our society by teaching emotional literacy now. In "Roots of Empathy", the innovative, inspired book based on her groundbreaking research and success in actual classroom situations, Mary Gordon shares her vision of a nation of compassionate and caring children who will pass on their legacy of empathy to their own children.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction, Psychology, Teaching, School, Childrens

296 pages, Paperback

First published August 27, 2005

About the author

Mary Catherine Gordon is an American writer from Queens and Valley Stream, New York. She is the McIntosh Professor of English at Barnard College. She is best known for her novels, memoirs and literary criticism. In 2008, she was named Official State Author of New York.

Reviews

[Janet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Babies as parent educators. Brilliant! Wish this was more popular in the US. (Canada seems to get all the good government programs.)

Memorable Quotations:

"Children don't need protection from the truth, but they do need a supportive adult to help them make sense of events that can be frightening" (page 185).

"There is a body of thought that pushes for more structure in education, foisting more and more formal instruction on younger children. This is based on the faulty premise that beginning such instruction early trains children to absorb learning at a greater rate as they gel older. It flies in the face of all the research about how children learn. Classroom teachers, particularly at the kindergarten level, often feel they are violating their own values and belief system when they are pushed to substitute instruction for the play-based problem-solving that they know is the foundation of a child's competencies. They worry that play has become a four-letter word and that children's natural learning style, their curiosity and imagination, have been sold out to political decisions based on rhetoric rather than research (page 195).

[Gloria Denoon · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good read, though much of the book is devoted to the promotion of the Roots of Empathy program.

Ms. Gordon is proposing a social change from the heart, child by child, and then family, community, and the world.

The action effort- originated from empathy- is admirable and could be applied to our daily parenting.

The following paragraph is my favorite:

What we say to them is important, but more crucial still is how we say it and what we are conveying about our respect for them as individuals. Brazelton & Greenspan express it well: "Empathy is taught not by telling children to be nice to others or to try to understand others, but by parents' having the patience to listen to children and children's feeling understood. Once they understand what empathy feels like, they can create it in their relationships."
(p.131)

This is the hope.

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I'm in the middle of doing the Roots of Empathy program in a grade one class with my baby. I was/am excited to do this program but felt confused about the anti-bullying effect it is supposed to have... So my coordinator lent me her copy of this book to read.
So now I get that what we are really teaching is emotional literacy. It's brilliant really and so important. I am very NOT emotionally literate so I think it's a great idea. The students in our class are learning about my baby's feelings and then how to name their own. It makes sense really. Genius.
What doesn't really make sense to me is how one class of kids observing the baby for about 9 hours over the course of one year is going to truly change anything in that school. I think that Mary Gordon (author, founder) is a complete optimist. Good for her. She has all these amazing cute stories of kids standing up for each other because of what their "Roots Baby" has taught them... But does it stick? Truly? Are these kids forever going to never bully and never be a silent bystander to bullying? I just don't think it's the answer to bullying and I don't think it should be touted as such.
With that being said I did copy out several passages from the book to keep for myself and re-read.

[Kirsten]

Everybody cross your fingers that the pertussis outbreak in NL is contained so my new baby can start her teaching career soon!

[Zaakiyyah · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I found some good points in this book I am disappointed that 90% of the content is dedicated to promoting a course on empathy that’s not readily available to most people. Basically a really long advertorial with nothing conclusive unless you buy the course.

[Susan Waldo · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a world we might have,instead of budget cuts to our schools, to include programs such as this to promote humanity and ethics, incorporating into our curriculum with writing, arts etc. and making this world and our children so much better. A must-read for anyone who deals with children, not only educators, but mommies, daddies, grannies and gramps............

[Lynda Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love the concept of t is book and have enjoyed seeing elements of this program in action in our schoolAt times it felt a litle too perfect in terms of working so beautifully. Still, how much better at teaching our chdren about peace through babies as opposed to lectures about bullying! Think all who work directly w/ children would benefit from reading it.

[Apzmarshl · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some really important core features about attachment and empathy, but most of the book felt like an infomercial at 2 am. I didn't enjoy being sold the program. I do believe it's value, I just don't see it being implimented anywhere near us. Public school is extremely focused on testing, not teaching children about life.

[Joyce L · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely idea about how we can bring empathy into classrooms. Although we sometimes take on too many social issues in schools, this program is worthy of consideration.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Long story short: every child in the classroom could benefit from completing the Roots of Empathy (RoE) program. As a teacher of 20-something adults, I wholly see the benefits of both the RoE program and this book, and highly recommend this book for anyone involved in or interested in education, and also every parent (of children of any age).

This moving, informative, and inspiring book talks about where the RoE program comes from, what empathy is and why it matters, all the way through to some of the learnings provided by the program (the chapter on Temperament is fascinating!), building the First Relationship (between baby and parent(s)), emotional literacy, authentic communication, and social inclusion. It then concludes with how Mary Gordon sees Roots of Empathy impacting society, as well as providing test results in the appendix of the book.

It's easy to read and includes lots of stories (and artwork) from the children themselves which are very touching. A great reminder that our future is our children, and that we can help shape the world to become a better place.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some interesting information, but for the most part, it read like a rant about bullying in schools (preaching to the choir, here) and an infomercial for the Roots of Empathy program. Short of petitioning to have Roots of Empathy in my kid's classroom, there wasn't much in the way of actionable things I could do, personally, to help him develop more empathy. So it's a really good book if you're looking to find out what Roots of Empathy can do for your school/kids, but only an okay book if you're looking for ways to help develop empathy without the program.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very interesting. As a mom of young children i was excited about the possibility of such program to begin in my childrens school. Over halfway through  the book I discovered that this lady was Canadian and talking about Canadian schools which is very encouraging. The roots of empayhy program sounds excellent and effective at helping raise up leaders and great parents for the next generation. I highly recommend this book to anyone involved in the school system.. oh the possibilities! I hope this program can find its way to the maritimes where the author originated from.

[Dorothy Greco · Rating 4 out of 5]

If only hospitals gave away this book instead of free diapers... If only schools valued EQ along with IQ and purposed to teach students what it means to care for each other... If only we could grasp how empathy changes everything, the world would be a different place.

[Fleeting Bird · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was frequently bored because mostly it is broad general description of the program. I was expecting more details about empathy and its development from the scientific perspective.

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a simple, ground breaking concept, which was such a revelation to me, when my own children were small. This book was lovely and thoughtful and such a good thing.

[Green Iona]

Great guidance for raising compassionate kids although about the way she teaches kids in schools through her program.

[Liz Surprenant · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book outlines an incredible program out of Canada that highlights the parent-baby bond as a way to teach schoolchildren the concept of empathy. Wow! What an incredibly creative way to help children develop social skills, strengthen community bonds, and identify a stronger emotional life within their own identities. I hope this program is implemented in more places, and I hope one day that I get to be a small part of it. For anyone in the fields of social work, education, child development, or community advocacy, this is a must read.

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

The review of current knowledge of child development that is included in this book is comprehensive, and the model she provides for teaching empathy (by bringing a baby into the classroom each month) is fascinating and well-researched. I just keep wondering what kind of parents would be willing to bring their newborn into a kindergarten classroom!

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book because I'm going to be doing this program with my baby daughter at a local elementary school. I'm really excited to be a part of this! Someday I hope it can be more widespread in America. It seems to be just the type of program we need. It has the right focus and can only help our current society.

[Leanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book details a program that has spread in Canada as well as other countries to teach children empathy. It is beautiful and powerful--something I think would have helped my own adopted son. With so many children in America struggling with abusive,absent, or dismissive parents, this is program that could make a true difference in our society.

[Shawna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently had the pleasure of meeting Mary Gordon and am enjoying the story of Roots of Empathy's evolution. Mary is a truly visionary woman.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read. Thought provoking, emotional in places. Anyone working with children should read.

[Barbc]

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