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Hell Is a World Without You
Rarely has an Evangelical upbringing been depicted with the relentless honesty, wide-ranging empathy, and Superbad-meets-Siddhartha playfulness of HELL IS A WORLD WITHOUT YOU. During the time of Pizza Hut buffets, 9/11, and all-night Mario Kart parties, a grieving teenager faces a mortal fire-and-brimstone certainty vs. forbidden love. And whether or not you’ve ever begged God to delay the Rapture (so you could have time to lose your virginity), that kid’s story is about you. The author will donate 100% of pre-2/17/2024 proceeds to the Trevor Project."A resonant novel with laugh-out-loud comedy and poignant insight."- Publishers Weekly's BookLife
"Blends sublimely. Hilariously blunt. Endearing. Get it."- Kirkus Reviews
"Joyous and sobering. Readers will be swept away. A wonderful novel."- Independent Book Review
"Devilishly funny. I adored this sweetly subversive romp."- Brian Dannelly, co-writer/director, Saved!
"Funny, compassionate, romantic. Rings with specificity while evoking the universal."- Will Leitch, author, How Lucky
"No book I've read has better depicted Evangelical terror. I loved it."- Jane Coaston, Opinion writer, The New York Times
"A magic almost tactile in its specificity, yet utterly universal."- Claire McNear, author, Answers in the Form of Questions
"Hilarious, big-hearted, and deeply humane."- Brian Phillips, author, Impossible Owls
"Almost astonishingly accurate. Unshakably critical, yet unshakably empathetic."- Jon Bois, creator, 17776
"Real laughs in its painfully accurate depiction of a pious world."- Drew Magary, author, The Night the Lights Went Out
"A crisis of faith that rings with uncommon truth, shot through with surprising humor. I loved this book."- Anthony Oliveira, author, Dayspring
"Like reading my teenage Evangelical diary. A hilarious way to feel grateful for people who helped us leave the harmful parts of our faith."- April Ajoy, co-host, Evangelicalish
"Enthralling, as engaging as it is hilarious. Sweet yet biting."- Zito Madu, author, The Minotaur at Calle Lanza
"Engaged me as both a former pastor's kid and a scholar of religion. It will make you laugh, cry, think, and maybe listen to MxPx."- Mike Altman, Professor of Religious Studies, University of Alabama
"Devastatingly funny, heartbreaking, and incisive."- Victoria Zeller, author, One of the Boys
"It seems at times as if Jason wrote the biography of many of us. Sometimes will leave you laughing or crying, but at all times will leave you feeling less alone."- Mason Mennenga, host, A People's Theology
"So quick and funny and smart, you almost forget Jason's trying to square unsquarable contradictions."- Tommy Tomlinson, author, The Elephant in the Room
"I'd never before read a book so in tune with what it's like to grow up Evangelical. Deeply funny and deeply felt."- Tyler Parker, author, A Little Blood and Dancing
"Will remind you what it was like to be - or be classmates with - the religious kids. Cathartic.
"Blends sublimely. Hilariously blunt. Endearing. Get it."- Kirkus Reviews
"Joyous and sobering. Readers will be swept away. A wonderful novel."- Independent Book Review
"Devilishly funny. I adored this sweetly subversive romp."- Brian Dannelly, co-writer/director, Saved!
"Funny, compassionate, romantic. Rings with specificity while evoking the universal."- Will Leitch, author, How Lucky
"No book I've read has better depicted Evangelical terror. I loved it."- Jane Coaston, Opinion writer, The New York Times
"A magic almost tactile in its specificity, yet utterly universal."- Claire McNear, author, Answers in the Form of Questions
"Hilarious, big-hearted, and deeply humane."- Brian Phillips, author, Impossible Owls
"Almost astonishingly accurate. Unshakably critical, yet unshakably empathetic."- Jon Bois, creator, 17776
"Real laughs in its painfully accurate depiction of a pious world."- Drew Magary, author, The Night the Lights Went Out
"A crisis of faith that rings with uncommon truth, shot through with surprising humor. I loved this book."- Anthony Oliveira, author, Dayspring
"Like reading my teenage Evangelical diary. A hilarious way to feel grateful for people who helped us leave the harmful parts of our faith."- April Ajoy, co-host, Evangelicalish
"Enthralling, as engaging as it is hilarious. Sweet yet biting."- Zito Madu, author, The Minotaur at Calle Lanza
"Engaged me as both a former pastor's kid and a scholar of religion. It will make you laugh, cry, think, and maybe listen to MxPx."- Mike Altman, Professor of Religious Studies, University of Alabama
"Devastatingly funny, heartbreaking, and incisive."- Victoria Zeller, author, One of the Boys
"It seems at times as if Jason wrote the biography of many of us. Sometimes will leave you laughing or crying, but at all times will leave you feeling less alone."- Mason Mennenga, host, A People's Theology
"So quick and funny and smart, you almost forget Jason's trying to square unsquarable contradictions."- Tommy Tomlinson, author, The Elephant in the Room
"I'd never before read a book so in tune with what it's like to grow up Evangelical. Deeply funny and deeply felt."- Tyler Parker, author, A Little Blood and Dancing
"Will remind you what it was like to be - or be classmates with - the religious kids. Cathartic.
316 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 12, 2024
333 people are currently reading
3257 people want to read
About the author
Jason Kirk
4 books203 followersJason Kirk, a longtime sports journalist, co-hosts the Vacation Bible School Podcast and the Shutdown Fullcast. He’s contributed to The Athletic, This American Life, Penguin Random House’s Hazlitt Magazine, Slate, USA Today, Vox, and many others. His non-fiction literary agent is Erik Hane of Headwater Literary Management.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 545 reviews
August 14, 2024
Oh thank goodness this counts toward my Reading Challenge
Guess I'll add the first editorial reviews here:
"Although the author layers this story with humor, he meticulously examines Christianity as well. Blends sublimely. Hilariously blunt. Endearing. Get it." - Kirkus Reviews, "GET IT" review
"Brutal honesty and extensive empathy. Tear-inducing. A resonant novel, briskly told, with laugh-out-loud comedy and poignant insight.” - Publishers Weekly's BookLife
"Joyous and sobering. Fluent, taboo-shirking, and moving. Readers will be swept away with its poignance and intellectual rigor. A wonderful novel." - Independent Book Review, STARRED review
"Deeply fascinating. Witty, sad, and compassionate. A bitingly funny and insightful coming-of-age tale. Highly recommend." - Readers' Favorite, FIVE-STAR review
"Ripped me apart and put me back together." - Literary Transgressions, "Most Emotional Book" award
And here were the blurbs I started with:
"Devilishly funny. I adored this sweetly subversive romp."- Brian Dannelly, co-writer/director, Saved!
"Funny, compassionate, romantic. Rings with specificity while evoking the universal."- Will Leitch, author, How Lucky and The Time Has Come
"No book I've read has better depicted Evangelical terror. I loved it."- Jane Coaston, Opinion writer, The New York Times
"A magic trick: almost tactile in its specificity, yet utterly universal."- Claire McNear, author, Answers in the Form of Questions
"Hilarious, big-hearted, and deeply humane."- Brian Phillips, author, Impossible Owls
"Almost astonishingly accurate. Unlike anything else I've read about the Evangelical church: unshakably critical, yet unshakably empathetic."- Jon Bois, creator, 17776
"Real laughs in its painfully accurate depiction of a pious world."- Drew Magary, author, The Night the Lights Went Out
"A crisis of faith that rings with uncommon truth, shot through with surprising humor. I loved this book."- Anthony Oliveira, author, Dayspring
"Like reading my teenage Evangelical diary. A hilarious way to feel grateful for people who helped us leave the harmful parts of our faith."- April Ajoy, co-host, Evangelicalish
"Enthralling, as engaging as it is hilarious. Sweet yet biting."- Zito Madu, author, The Minotaur at Calle Lanza
"Engaged me as both a former pastor's kid and a scholar of religion. It will make you laugh, cry, think, and maybe listen to MxPx."- Mike Altman, Professor of Religious Studies, University of Alabama
"Devastatingly funny, heartbreaking, and incisive."- Victoria Zeller, author, One of the Boys
"It seems at times as if Jason wrote the biography of many of us. Sometimes will leave you laughing or crying, but at all times will leave you feeling less alone."- Mason Mennenga, host, A People's Theology and The BlackSheep Podcast
"So quick and funny and smart, you almost forget Jason's trying to square unsquarable contradictions."- Tommy Tomlinson, author, The Elephant in the Room
"I'd never before read a book so in tune with what it's like to grow up Evangelical. Deeply funny and deeply felt."- Tyler Parker, author, A Little Blood and Dancing
"Will remind you what it was like to be - or be classmates with - the religious kids. Cathartic.- Blake Chastain, author, Exvangelical and Beyond
"Funny. Unpredictable. For anyone who's ever felt disappointed by an institution. (Or who experienced formative moments via AOL Instant Messenger.)"- Ryan Nanni, staff writer, The Messenger
"Artfully woven. Extraordinary. A compelling case for the existence of a better world."- Holly Anderson, writer and editor, Channel Six
"As a non-Evangelical, I had no idea what it's like. Jason writes his ass off about it: beautifully, angrily, and with deep empathy."- Spencer Hall, writer, Channel Six
Guess I'll add the first editorial reviews here:
"Although the author layers this story with humor, he meticulously examines Christianity as well. Blends sublimely. Hilariously blunt. Endearing. Get it." - Kirkus Reviews, "GET IT" review
"Brutal honesty and extensive empathy. Tear-inducing. A resonant novel, briskly told, with laugh-out-loud comedy and poignant insight.” - Publishers Weekly's BookLife
"Joyous and sobering. Fluent, taboo-shirking, and moving. Readers will be swept away with its poignance and intellectual rigor. A wonderful novel." - Independent Book Review, STARRED review
"Deeply fascinating. Witty, sad, and compassionate. A bitingly funny and insightful coming-of-age tale. Highly recommend." - Readers' Favorite, FIVE-STAR review
"Ripped me apart and put me back together." - Literary Transgressions, "Most Emotional Book" award
And here were the blurbs I started with:
"Devilishly funny. I adored this sweetly subversive romp."- Brian Dannelly, co-writer/director, Saved!
"Funny, compassionate, romantic. Rings with specificity while evoking the universal."- Will Leitch, author, How Lucky and The Time Has Come
"No book I've read has better depicted Evangelical terror. I loved it."- Jane Coaston, Opinion writer, The New York Times
"A magic trick: almost tactile in its specificity, yet utterly universal."- Claire McNear, author, Answers in the Form of Questions
"Hilarious, big-hearted, and deeply humane."- Brian Phillips, author, Impossible Owls
"Almost astonishingly accurate. Unlike anything else I've read about the Evangelical church: unshakably critical, yet unshakably empathetic."- Jon Bois, creator, 17776
"Real laughs in its painfully accurate depiction of a pious world."- Drew Magary, author, The Night the Lights Went Out
"A crisis of faith that rings with uncommon truth, shot through with surprising humor. I loved this book."- Anthony Oliveira, author, Dayspring
"Like reading my teenage Evangelical diary. A hilarious way to feel grateful for people who helped us leave the harmful parts of our faith."- April Ajoy, co-host, Evangelicalish
"Enthralling, as engaging as it is hilarious. Sweet yet biting."- Zito Madu, author, The Minotaur at Calle Lanza
"Engaged me as both a former pastor's kid and a scholar of religion. It will make you laugh, cry, think, and maybe listen to MxPx."- Mike Altman, Professor of Religious Studies, University of Alabama
"Devastatingly funny, heartbreaking, and incisive."- Victoria Zeller, author, One of the Boys
"It seems at times as if Jason wrote the biography of many of us. Sometimes will leave you laughing or crying, but at all times will leave you feeling less alone."- Mason Mennenga, host, A People's Theology and The BlackSheep Podcast
"So quick and funny and smart, you almost forget Jason's trying to square unsquarable contradictions."- Tommy Tomlinson, author, The Elephant in the Room
"I'd never before read a book so in tune with what it's like to grow up Evangelical. Deeply funny and deeply felt."- Tyler Parker, author, A Little Blood and Dancing
"Will remind you what it was like to be - or be classmates with - the religious kids. Cathartic.- Blake Chastain, author, Exvangelical and Beyond
"Funny. Unpredictable. For anyone who's ever felt disappointed by an institution. (Or who experienced formative moments via AOL Instant Messenger.)"- Ryan Nanni, staff writer, The Messenger
"Artfully woven. Extraordinary. A compelling case for the existence of a better world."- Holly Anderson, writer and editor, Channel Six
"As a non-Evangelical, I had no idea what it's like. Jason writes his ass off about it: beautifully, angrily, and with deep empathy."- Spencer Hall, writer, Channel Six
December 19, 2023
Holy fucking shit
February 21, 2024
This book cracked me open. There's no other way to describe it.
I was hoping to find a way to review this book in a way that didn't instantly devolve into me talking about myself, but that doesn't seem possible. So let's start here: This book is wonderful. Literally everyone should read it. It doesn't matter if you come from this world or not, there is something in this book for you. Okay, let's get personal:
I come from this world. Hoo boy do I ever come from this world. And I have never seen it rendered with this level of specificity before. Jason (who I will refer to by his first name because it feels like we're friends even though we do not actually know each other) is drawing on lived experience, but it's clear he did his research as well. There are details in here that feel like they were pulled directly from my subconscious. Sometimes that's fun, a little jolt of nostalgia, the comfort of feeling a little less alone. Other times ... look, I buried a lot of this stuff in my subconscious for a reason.
I don't like that I come from this world. I spent years trying to distance myself from it. I didn't like to talk about it. I didn't even like to think about it. I was angry at everyone, but mostly angry at myself, at the person I was when I was in that world. Eventually I got to a point where this time in my life felt like a bad dream, or a really intense movie I had watched but hadn't particularly enjoyed. I was not interested in grappling with it, or making peace with it. No deconstruction, just a clean break.
In the last few years, I have started to soften on this stance. Jason's Vacation Bible School podcast has been a big part of that change, a way back to that part of myself that didn't center on anger or mockery. It turns out you can talk about the Bible without instantly transforming into either Megachurch Zombie or Reddit Atheist. It can be fun, and weird, and even progressive, and it didn't exclusively belong to the absolute worst people on Earth. Listening to VBS has felt like slowly unclenching.
Still, I worried about Hell Is A World Without You. Specifically, I questioned whether it was possible to write sympathetic, believable characters who exist in this world. It was so black and white to me. If you believe any of this, you're part of the problem. If you don't, then what are you still doing here? Run. The guy at the podium is telling you that women are subservient and gay people are literal demons and the earth is six thousand years old and I'm supposed to empathize while you wrestle with whether or not you believe that? I mean, I know Jason is a great writer, but how does anyone pull that off?
Well, this is how. Every single page of this book is how. It comes from such a place of understanding, such a place of radical, open-hearted empathy. I just love these characters so much. I felt like I knew them. I was rooting for them immediately. They are not me. They are all much better versions of anyone that I was during that time, or anyone I knew. But they're not perfect. They're still teenagers, making mistakes and struggling in such instantly recognizable ways. I've been there. You've been there.
If you're from this world, you didn't choose to be born into it. If you're not from this world, you didn't choose to be born into whatever weird, angst-ridden teenage world you found yourself in. We all struggled to become ourselves. That's the universal truth in this book, and the reason why I think it would resonate with an audience far beyond the evangelical niche. But if you see yourself in this book as much as I did, you might see yourself differently by the end.
I was hoping to find a way to review this book in a way that didn't instantly devolve into me talking about myself, but that doesn't seem possible. So let's start here: This book is wonderful. Literally everyone should read it. It doesn't matter if you come from this world or not, there is something in this book for you. Okay, let's get personal:
I come from this world. Hoo boy do I ever come from this world. And I have never seen it rendered with this level of specificity before. Jason (who I will refer to by his first name because it feels like we're friends even though we do not actually know each other) is drawing on lived experience, but it's clear he did his research as well. There are details in here that feel like they were pulled directly from my subconscious. Sometimes that's fun, a little jolt of nostalgia, the comfort of feeling a little less alone. Other times ... look, I buried a lot of this stuff in my subconscious for a reason.
I don't like that I come from this world. I spent years trying to distance myself from it. I didn't like to talk about it. I didn't even like to think about it. I was angry at everyone, but mostly angry at myself, at the person I was when I was in that world. Eventually I got to a point where this time in my life felt like a bad dream, or a really intense movie I had watched but hadn't particularly enjoyed. I was not interested in grappling with it, or making peace with it. No deconstruction, just a clean break.
In the last few years, I have started to soften on this stance. Jason's Vacation Bible School podcast has been a big part of that change, a way back to that part of myself that didn't center on anger or mockery. It turns out you can talk about the Bible without instantly transforming into either Megachurch Zombie or Reddit Atheist. It can be fun, and weird, and even progressive, and it didn't exclusively belong to the absolute worst people on Earth. Listening to VBS has felt like slowly unclenching.
Still, I worried about Hell Is A World Without You. Specifically, I questioned whether it was possible to write sympathetic, believable characters who exist in this world. It was so black and white to me. If you believe any of this, you're part of the problem. If you don't, then what are you still doing here? Run. The guy at the podium is telling you that women are subservient and gay people are literal demons and the earth is six thousand years old and I'm supposed to empathize while you wrestle with whether or not you believe that? I mean, I know Jason is a great writer, but how does anyone pull that off?
Well, this is how. Every single page of this book is how. It comes from such a place of understanding, such a place of radical, open-hearted empathy. I just love these characters so much. I felt like I knew them. I was rooting for them immediately. They are not me. They are all much better versions of anyone that I was during that time, or anyone I knew. But they're not perfect. They're still teenagers, making mistakes and struggling in such instantly recognizable ways. I've been there. You've been there.
If you're from this world, you didn't choose to be born into it. If you're not from this world, you didn't choose to be born into whatever weird, angst-ridden teenage world you found yourself in. We all struggled to become ourselves. That's the universal truth in this book, and the reason why I think it would resonate with an audience far beyond the evangelical niche. But if you see yourself in this book as much as I did, you might see yourself differently by the end.
May 12, 2024
"You're supposed to love yourself."
It felt like vomit rising.
I went in skeptical expecting something YA-y and unpolished and tedious. I could say how my mind was changed about 200 pages in because Hell Is a World Without You made me weep but that's none of your business and I don't want to talk about it, so I'll say instead that my mind was changed when I figured out Jason Kirk is a capital w Writer capable of writing capital l Literature and the way this novel's prose evolves from the most jaw clinching cringey Y2K era church kid speak into the mystic, rhythmic style of the last few chapters is brilliant. I wanted to deduct a star for unnecessary Creed slander, but I'll add it back because I like Jason Kirk's podcasts.
What if love so thoroughly conquers all, there's a sunrise for Lucifer and sympathy for Diablo?
It felt like vomit rising.
I went in skeptical expecting something YA-y and unpolished and tedious. I could say how my mind was changed about 200 pages in because Hell Is a World Without You made me weep but that's none of your business and I don't want to talk about it, so I'll say instead that my mind was changed when I figured out Jason Kirk is a capital w Writer capable of writing capital l Literature and the way this novel's prose evolves from the most jaw clinching cringey Y2K era church kid speak into the mystic, rhythmic style of the last few chapters is brilliant. I wanted to deduct a star for unnecessary Creed slander, but I'll add it back because I like Jason Kirk's podcasts.
What if love so thoroughly conquers all, there's a sunrise for Lucifer and sympathy for Diablo?
December 31, 2023
This book is Derry Girls for American Evangelicalism- written with love, Jason invites those who know the world and those who don't to sit with the good (and there's a lot of good, mostly in the friendships across what would normally be social boundaries. Also the music) and the bad (most of the rest of it, also Audio Adrenaline) of that world. Like Derry Girls, the book is continuously hilarious but frequently devastating too. No spoilers, but the content warning page promises religous trauma, and there is no hiding from it in this book.
All of the teens are written as though they're Jason's close friends, probably because they are/were in some variation. I found myself wanting epilogues for all of them, except for one "handsome idiot," he sucks and I already know what happens to him because I know enough versions of him out here in the real world.
There's even some sympathy for the villains, mostly people who set out on a path to help others, but come to mistake power and attention for success. This too will ring true if you've been through this world, and probably if you haven't, because it's by no means an exclusively religous phenomenon.
Now... I don't have new or interesting ways of saying that this book eventually broke me in half, but it absolutely did. I read a lot, and over the holidays normally churn through a few books, but this one stopped me cold. After I finished it, I spent days re-reading the triumphant chapters, bouncing around to other important scenes, and thinking about it an awful lot of the time I wasn't reading it. I still haven't gotten the book out of my head even a little bit, or started reading anything else. The good news is that I don't really want to.
A last note on the religious content: If you're still in the evangelical world, some of the book's characters end up in different theological places than the one you're probably in. However, my take on the book is that the goal is not to take you there with them, but to illuminate different views on 2000 years of Christ-following, and invite you to understand how people get there. I think this book will be illuminating and impactful, even for those who still believe in the gospel as presented in sunday school.
All of the teens are written as though they're Jason's close friends, probably because they are/were in some variation. I found myself wanting epilogues for all of them, except for one "handsome idiot," he sucks and I already know what happens to him because I know enough versions of him out here in the real world.
There's even some sympathy for the villains, mostly people who set out on a path to help others, but come to mistake power and attention for success. This too will ring true if you've been through this world, and probably if you haven't, because it's by no means an exclusively religous phenomenon.
Now... I don't have new or interesting ways of saying that this book eventually broke me in half, but it absolutely did. I read a lot, and over the holidays normally churn through a few books, but this one stopped me cold. After I finished it, I spent days re-reading the triumphant chapters, bouncing around to other important scenes, and thinking about it an awful lot of the time I wasn't reading it. I still haven't gotten the book out of my head even a little bit, or started reading anything else. The good news is that I don't really want to.
A last note on the religious content: If you're still in the evangelical world, some of the book's characters end up in different theological places than the one you're probably in. However, my take on the book is that the goal is not to take you there with them, but to illuminate different views on 2000 years of Christ-following, and invite you to understand how people get there. I think this book will be illuminating and impactful, even for those who still believe in the gospel as presented in sunday school.
January 9, 2024
It really is Like That.
January 3, 2024
Like many other reviewers, this is not a book I would have sought out except that I have listened to Jason drop hints and pieces of this book's reality over the last decade on his podcasts. The remarkable thing is how Jason makes a world I did not know much about into a wholly relatable world, drifting between the secular world of the turn of the Millennium and the world of evangelical kids, showing that they are simultaneously utterly relatable and completely alien. I cannot recommend this book more thoughtfully; it's funny, thoughtful, touching, and moving. It was an excellent way to start my year, and I am grateful for the journey.
January 3, 2024
Read this if you:
-were a youth group kid
-knew youth group kids
-ever used AIM
-have ever loved someone more than you love yourself
Knowing what little I know of Jason Kirk through The Internet, I figured this would be a genuinely good (read: empathetic) satire of Evangelical youth. I was still not prepared for how tender-hearted and earnest it turned out to be. There is no mocking, no winking "but we know better, eh reader?" there is just messy, complicated, love and understanding. Never thought I'd get teary-eyed over a bunch of kids named Caleb and Grace.
-were a youth group kid
-knew youth group kids
-ever used AIM
-have ever loved someone more than you love yourself
Knowing what little I know of Jason Kirk through The Internet, I figured this would be a genuinely good (read: empathetic) satire of Evangelical youth. I was still not prepared for how tender-hearted and earnest it turned out to be. There is no mocking, no winking "but we know better, eh reader?" there is just messy, complicated, love and understanding. Never thought I'd get teary-eyed over a bunch of kids named Caleb and Grace.
February 10, 2024
All of the other glowing reviews for this book are correct and likely more eloquent than I could hope to write here.
Just wanted to drop this here - this book wasn’t just a window to a past that hit REAL close to home, but it helped me reconcile, forgive, and and accept the person I used to be. And it gave me hope for those who never left.
This book will absolutely make you cry. No getting around that. It is marvelous and joyful. Good luck on your journey.
Just wanted to drop this here - this book wasn’t just a window to a past that hit REAL close to home, but it helped me reconcile, forgive, and and accept the person I used to be. And it gave me hope for those who never left.
This book will absolutely make you cry. No getting around that. It is marvelous and joyful. Good luck on your journey.
July 6, 2024
five fucking stars, man.
i knew going into this book that i'd spend a lot of time thinking about it - and thinking about my own experiences - but somehow what i took away from this the most isn't the theological discussions or the exvangelical trauma or the nostalgia (that i'm about 10-15 years too young for, at any rate) - it's a strange sense of loss and numbness about my own experience being specifically raised in the chinese american evangelical church. i had friends i adored, but not like this. the adults around me were still preaching all that drivel, but somehow it never touched me.
when i lived in upstate new york, the Thing To Do(tm) every spring break was to participate in a spring break work camp. hosted by one of the megachurches in the area, the work camp brought together teenagers from all over the city for a week to spread the good news in the inner city by either doing construction work and manual labor on impoverished residents' homes or leading "sidewalk club" vbs-likes. (they put a sledgehammer in my hands at the age of twelve and boy i went to TOWN with that thing hell yeah)
anyways. every evening we'd have a service. now the church that i went to at the time did do something vaguely "contemporary" for the english-language service (and for youth group), which for us meant that guitars and drums were allowed (side note my mom swears that Good Christians(tm) don't need to listen to christian contemporary music, just hymns. ccm was just a tool to get nonbelievers in the door and to shore up weak christians. strike one on my side, huh) but nothing like this - my dad called it a concert rather than a service when he came to observe. they didn't do an altar call, but there was always a group of people who'd go down in the aisles towards the stage during worship, doing the hand-lifting thing and everything, and i decided that i wanted to be one of them. the kicker was that no one from our 30 person youth group (which was one of the bigger groups at the camp usually) ever went. no one ever even did the hand-lifting thing. and people started talking when i did, and it wasn't necessarily uhhhh antagonistic or anything, just confused, because the chinese teens don't do that. (side note 2 turns out there's a lot more about me that most of those chinese teens did not do.) but i kept going, because i liked feeling part of something bigger than myself and liked singing and liked being physical about it. anyways turns out i just really like concerts
i swear i have a point with this and it is: the people i grew up in church with were not like isaac and his friends, everyone one-upping each other to Be Better Christians(tm) and genuinely wrestling with their faith and genuinely caring. or - if they were - i could not tell. my mom told me that one of my best friends in high school had a spiritual awakening in college and is now even more devout. she lives fifteen minutes away from me (eight hours away from our hometown) and besides that she's busy on most weekends with church and multiple retreats and gatherings and whatever, i could not speak to that at all. between the kids, spirituality was just not a thing we talked about.
and i think that's what does make this book so magical to me, the way these deep theological discussions bond isaac and all of his friends. and i wonder - would it have been easier if i hadn't felt so alone in my doubt, or would it have been harder? because i never found myself in a position that isaac did - self-harm for the greater good - because i don't think i ever believed - but there was literally no one i could talk to about that. no older friend who i looked up to as a spiritual role model, no fellow travellers - and i couldn't trust any adults because i thought they would go running to my parents. (i still don't, really.) and my friends - sure, a whole bunch of them came to my wedding a month ago, but that was that. we never forged any bonds like the video games church gang did.
actually, can we unpack something from that last paragraph for a second? because this book did also make me acutely aware that i never believed. i think i had a rapture scare once or twice ever (but that was also when i was fresh off reading the adult left behind books) and i was great at parroting all the lingo and memorising all the verses (in english And chinese!) but every time my mom was like "yeah jesus should be speaking to you! god should be speaking to you!) i was very surprised pikachu about it because i never felt anything. there were times i would "test god" by going like. uh "god if you're real i will wake up with my head at the other end of the bed" and it never worked and then my mom goes "well you can't test god that's in the bible." and then in college there was the one day i panic googled "is it really a sin to have premarital sex" but like ???? i don't even think i've ever felt the kind of fear any of the characters in the book have, let alone how isaac feels. i don't particularly feel that i have religious trauma - it's all parental trauma, which is close because my mother was the most vocal of everyone at our church (and still is) - and i am extremely grateful for that.
and the epilogue leaves me wondering where i will be spiritually in ten or so years. right now in my mid twenties i've basically completely rejected religion but i'm willing to put up with it for appearances and appeasement (at my wedding, my ex-gf had to tell her plus one that neither me nor my husband was religious, let alone lutheran, despite the very lutheran ceremony in a very lutheran church). and i do think the threads of isaac's greek heritage were interesting, too, and would have liked to see it explored a bit more, because in my mind the church is inextricably tied with being chinese. i did school and secular things in english. i did church around chinese people, sometimes in chinese. i learned chinese through the bible. and when i reject religion sometimes it feels like rejecting being chinese, which is its own can of worms. i wonder what it might be like to start working on myself like that. i wonder when i'll do it. who i'll be on the other side.
and there's so much else about this book that i can't get out of my head. alexa, the girl that you are. the cold calculus of souls saved that everyone talks about (i once wondered if my mother would theoretically damn her own soul if it meant it would save others. never got up the courage to ask, of course.) how much bible knowledge everyone had, and what happened when they started to lose it (like i did, but never to that depth). the fear i had for josiah throughout the entire second half of the book - and the glee i felt at everyone's happy ending. (not spoiler marking that, because a lot of the times books like this don't have happy endings.)
if you were raised anywhere near evangelical, you should read this book. also last side note this book is fucking hysterical
i knew going into this book that i'd spend a lot of time thinking about it - and thinking about my own experiences - but somehow what i took away from this the most isn't the theological discussions or the exvangelical trauma or the nostalgia (that i'm about 10-15 years too young for, at any rate) - it's a strange sense of loss and numbness about my own experience being specifically raised in the chinese american evangelical church. i had friends i adored, but not like this. the adults around me were still preaching all that drivel, but somehow it never touched me.
when i lived in upstate new york, the Thing To Do(tm) every spring break was to participate in a spring break work camp. hosted by one of the megachurches in the area, the work camp brought together teenagers from all over the city for a week to spread the good news in the inner city by either doing construction work and manual labor on impoverished residents' homes or leading "sidewalk club" vbs-likes. (they put a sledgehammer in my hands at the age of twelve and boy i went to TOWN with that thing hell yeah)
anyways. every evening we'd have a service. now the church that i went to at the time did do something vaguely "contemporary" for the english-language service (and for youth group), which for us meant that guitars and drums were allowed (side note my mom swears that Good Christians(tm) don't need to listen to christian contemporary music, just hymns. ccm was just a tool to get nonbelievers in the door and to shore up weak christians. strike one on my side, huh) but nothing like this - my dad called it a concert rather than a service when he came to observe. they didn't do an altar call, but there was always a group of people who'd go down in the aisles towards the stage during worship, doing the hand-lifting thing and everything, and i decided that i wanted to be one of them. the kicker was that no one from our 30 person youth group (which was one of the bigger groups at the camp usually) ever went. no one ever even did the hand-lifting thing. and people started talking when i did, and it wasn't necessarily uhhhh antagonistic or anything, just confused, because the chinese teens don't do that. (side note 2 turns out there's a lot more about me that most of those chinese teens did not do.) but i kept going, because i liked feeling part of something bigger than myself and liked singing and liked being physical about it. anyways turns out i just really like concerts
i swear i have a point with this and it is: the people i grew up in church with were not like isaac and his friends, everyone one-upping each other to Be Better Christians(tm) and genuinely wrestling with their faith and genuinely caring. or - if they were - i could not tell. my mom told me that one of my best friends in high school had a spiritual awakening in college and is now even more devout. she lives fifteen minutes away from me (eight hours away from our hometown) and besides that she's busy on most weekends with church and multiple retreats and gatherings and whatever, i could not speak to that at all. between the kids, spirituality was just not a thing we talked about.
and i think that's what does make this book so magical to me, the way these deep theological discussions bond isaac and all of his friends. and i wonder - would it have been easier if i hadn't felt so alone in my doubt, or would it have been harder? because i never found myself in a position that isaac did - self-harm for the greater good - because i don't think i ever believed - but there was literally no one i could talk to about that. no older friend who i looked up to as a spiritual role model, no fellow travellers - and i couldn't trust any adults because i thought they would go running to my parents. (i still don't, really.) and my friends - sure, a whole bunch of them came to my wedding a month ago, but that was that. we never forged any bonds like the video games church gang did.
actually, can we unpack something from that last paragraph for a second? because this book did also make me acutely aware that i never believed. i think i had a rapture scare once or twice ever (but that was also when i was fresh off reading the adult left behind books) and i was great at parroting all the lingo and memorising all the verses (in english And chinese!) but every time my mom was like "yeah jesus should be speaking to you! god should be speaking to you!) i was very surprised pikachu about it because i never felt anything. there were times i would "test god" by going like. uh "god if you're real i will wake up with my head at the other end of the bed" and it never worked and then my mom goes "well you can't test god that's in the bible." and then in college there was the one day i panic googled "is it really a sin to have premarital sex" but like ???? i don't even think i've ever felt the kind of fear any of the characters in the book have, let alone how isaac feels. i don't particularly feel that i have religious trauma - it's all parental trauma, which is close because my mother was the most vocal of everyone at our church (and still is) - and i am extremely grateful for that.
and the epilogue leaves me wondering where i will be spiritually in ten or so years. right now in my mid twenties i've basically completely rejected religion but i'm willing to put up with it for appearances and appeasement (at my wedding, my ex-gf had to tell her plus one that neither me nor my husband was religious, let alone lutheran, despite the very lutheran ceremony in a very lutheran church). and i do think the threads of isaac's greek heritage were interesting, too, and would have liked to see it explored a bit more, because in my mind the church is inextricably tied with being chinese. i did school and secular things in english. i did church around chinese people, sometimes in chinese. i learned chinese through the bible. and when i reject religion sometimes it feels like rejecting being chinese, which is its own can of worms. i wonder what it might be like to start working on myself like that. i wonder when i'll do it. who i'll be on the other side.
and there's so much else about this book that i can't get out of my head. alexa, the girl that you are. the cold calculus of souls saved that everyone talks about (i once wondered if my mother would theoretically damn her own soul if it meant it would save others. never got up the courage to ask, of course.) how much bible knowledge everyone had, and what happened when they started to lose it (like i did, but never to that depth). the fear i had for josiah throughout the entire second half of the book - and the glee i felt at everyone's happy ending. (not spoiler marking that, because a lot of the times books like this don't have happy endings.)
if you were raised anywhere near evangelical, you should read this book. also last side note this book is fucking hysterical
June 27, 2024
I grew up liberal and agnostic in Very Evangelical Edmond, Oklahoma and forever felt like there was an alternate reality just out of my sight, especially when everyone showed up to 7th grade wearing Audio Adrenaline t-shirts, including my best friends and I still didn't know who that was. I would do anything to send this book back in time to her.
Lot of this book reminded me of the high energy Precocious Teen Boy books I've loved over the years - Tim Sandlin's "Skipped Parts," Frank Porter's "King Dork" etc. Underrated genre tbh, miss reading about teens absolutely zooted on soda and hormones instead of idk, very seriously fighting dragon wars (although that's cool too).
Lot of this book reminded me of the high energy Precocious Teen Boy books I've loved over the years - Tim Sandlin's "Skipped Parts," Frank Porter's "King Dork" etc. Underrated genre tbh, miss reading about teens absolutely zooted on soda and hormones instead of idk, very seriously fighting dragon wars (although that's cool too).
January 4, 2024
I’ve never been so delighted to almost have a nervous breakdown while I read a book.
I’m glad this was written as a novel instead of a memoir, because I was able to see parts of myself in so many of the characters.
If you want to look back on your evangelical youth group years with startling honesty and a big dose of empathy, or if you want to get a glimpse into that world as an outsider, or if you just want to read a great coming of age story, this is for you.
I’m just really thankful this book exists!
I’m glad this was written as a novel instead of a memoir, because I was able to see parts of myself in so many of the characters.
If you want to look back on your evangelical youth group years with startling honesty and a big dose of empathy, or if you want to get a glimpse into that world as an outsider, or if you just want to read a great coming of age story, this is for you.
I’m just really thankful this book exists!
February 2, 2024
This book was wonderful and beautiful and thoughtful. I didn’t grow up evangelical and I still recognized so much of what was going on here. Simply a marvelous coming of age story. It was romantic and harrowing and tragic but also so uplifting. It had me weeping in the airport lounge as I finished it. If you’ve ever questioned what you were taught to think or believe or struggled with doctrines of faith and belief and love, then you will find something for you in this book.
August 30, 2024
This needs to be required reading for everyone deconstructing their faith. Especially if the trauma they endured from it happened during the early 2000s.
I first started reading this not expecting this to be soooo.... Identical to my upbringing in the church I attended as a teen. This is a fiction novel, but there's no way it's not semi-autobiographical. From the Christian band references, to the fire and brimstone reminders about the rapture, purity culture misinformation and hypocrisy, to the reverence for Lord of the Rings, it almost feels like this was written from people in my own Youth Group. I lived this very story, and I don't expect anyone who didn't group up in a high control religion to feel the power and resonance that this book had on me.
It honestly feels like it was written for me. In a way it was, it says so in the acknowledgements. But the more shocking thing about this - I know my experience is way too common which is why this book exists in the first place. The character takes a journey from being one of the most devoted believers seeking to save others from Hell, to the encountering stuff leading him to question, to seeing how the girl he likes is being horribly mistreated, to battling his own struggles, it all starts to unravel and he begins to deconstruct throughout high school, all while seeing the churches hypocrisy. It is eye opening, jaw dropping, mesmerizing, thought provoking, and just all around powerful.
Even more relatable to me, the whole crox of his deconstruction process happens because of questions about his father's soul after he dies (this is literally on the first page, not a spoiler), which is what happened with me.
My soul was seen, and I feel validated, and a little healed. Anyone who was a teen in a Youth Group in an Evangelical environment in the early 2000s please... Read. This. Book!!!!
I first started reading this not expecting this to be soooo.... Identical to my upbringing in the church I attended as a teen. This is a fiction novel, but there's no way it's not semi-autobiographical. From the Christian band references, to the fire and brimstone reminders about the rapture, purity culture misinformation and hypocrisy, to the reverence for Lord of the Rings, it almost feels like this was written from people in my own Youth Group. I lived this very story, and I don't expect anyone who didn't group up in a high control religion to feel the power and resonance that this book had on me.
It honestly feels like it was written for me. In a way it was, it says so in the acknowledgements. But the more shocking thing about this - I know my experience is way too common which is why this book exists in the first place. The character takes a journey from being one of the most devoted believers seeking to save others from Hell, to the encountering stuff leading him to question, to seeing how the girl he likes is being horribly mistreated, to battling his own struggles, it all starts to unravel and he begins to deconstruct throughout high school, all while seeing the churches hypocrisy. It is eye opening, jaw dropping, mesmerizing, thought provoking, and just all around powerful.
Even more relatable to me, the whole crox of his deconstruction process happens because of questions about his father's soul after he dies (this is literally on the first page, not a spoiler), which is what happened with me.
My soul was seen, and I feel validated, and a little healed. Anyone who was a teen in a Youth Group in an Evangelical environment in the early 2000s please... Read. This. Book!!!!
April 13, 2025
As a lapsed Catholic turned exvangelical … this book was a hug to the very scared kid I used to be. I laughed, I cried, I made an extra appointment with my therapist.
February 25, 2024
This is my new favorite book. I'm writing this review at 3:24 in the morning, as I was unable to stop reading once I started. I've never related to a book more.
I laughed out loud multiple times early on, and eventually...if you grew up evangelical, this book will hurt. It will hurt bad. It will bring to mind the thousand different traumas you suffered as a kid, the I Kissed Dating Goodbye nonsense, the jingoism disguised as religious fervor in the wake of 9/11, the pain of watching the "leaders" in the church belittle and berate the women in your life and treat them as second-class citizens...
But what makes it worth reading, and what makes it my new favorite book of all time, is that it doesn't fall into the lazy area that so many books written from the "outside" do. Far too often, there's books and movies and documentaries like Jesus Camp being made, where the creators are saying "look at these freaks, look at these poor kids, watch as they pray and weep because God didn't see fit to have a Republican win the election".
This book is different. This book was very obviously written by someone who lived it, someone who had the Tooth and Nail Records sampler CD (the book is littered with references to late 90's-early 00's evangelical culture). There's an empathy there, an understanding of the complexities of growing up and away from the hellfire-and-brimstone beliefs of your youth, and, more importantly, an understanding that it's sometimes okay not to throw the baby Jesus out with the bathwater. Conservatives do not hold sole ownership of Christianity, and sometimes, sometimes it's okay not to have all the right answers. This book revels in that messy space between faith and mystery.
It's been a very, very long time since a book moved me to the point of gasping tears, but this one certainly did. 10/10, infinity/10, however high of a rating it's possible to give, I give this book.
I laughed out loud multiple times early on, and eventually...if you grew up evangelical, this book will hurt. It will hurt bad. It will bring to mind the thousand different traumas you suffered as a kid, the I Kissed Dating Goodbye nonsense, the jingoism disguised as religious fervor in the wake of 9/11, the pain of watching the "leaders" in the church belittle and berate the women in your life and treat them as second-class citizens...
But what makes it worth reading, and what makes it my new favorite book of all time, is that it doesn't fall into the lazy area that so many books written from the "outside" do. Far too often, there's books and movies and documentaries like Jesus Camp being made, where the creators are saying "look at these freaks, look at these poor kids, watch as they pray and weep because God didn't see fit to have a Republican win the election".
This book is different. This book was very obviously written by someone who lived it, someone who had the Tooth and Nail Records sampler CD (the book is littered with references to late 90's-early 00's evangelical culture). There's an empathy there, an understanding of the complexities of growing up and away from the hellfire-and-brimstone beliefs of your youth, and, more importantly, an understanding that it's sometimes okay not to throw the baby Jesus out with the bathwater. Conservatives do not hold sole ownership of Christianity, and sometimes, sometimes it's okay not to have all the right answers. This book revels in that messy space between faith and mystery.
It's been a very, very long time since a book moved me to the point of gasping tears, but this one certainly did. 10/10, infinity/10, however high of a rating it's possible to give, I give this book.
January 29, 2024
I have listened to Jason on the Fullcast and VBS podcast for awhile now so I had high expectations for this book and did it ever go beyond that. I was raised Mormon and grew up in Oklahoma in the Bible Belt where church was such common place. The thing is at the time I always assumed the people I grew up around had it easy, just go to church on Sunday and Wednesday and call it a day. This book helped me one to feel validated in the trauma that I have had to overcome in the years since leaving my religion. The never ending shame and carrying the weight of men's thoughts on my covered shoulders because uncovered shoulders lead to sinning. This book brought back so many memories I had long put away and was too embarrassed to ever talk about. Such as the constant worry about converting and saving all those I came into contact with, feeling like an outcast because your father wasn't "one of us", The Left Behind series, the fear that 9/11 and the war on terror was part of the second coming of Christ, and most of all hoping the second coming wasn't going to happen soon so I could have some fun in life. Jason does an amazing job developing the characters and remembering what it was like to be a scared teenager constantly living in fear and shame. The shame of your constant weakness is what made Christ suffer. I wish I would have came to the same conclusion the main character did at the end while I was still in high school. This book is a great read for those who grew up in any religion. I spent years thinking I was so different because I was Mormon. Now years later I realize we are all a lot more alike than we realize. This book was funny and healing all at once. What more could you ask for?
February 28, 2024
Had to take a break after starting it because it so effectively put me back in youth group.
March 21, 2025
I always hesitate to say anything is mandatory reading but if you are a *ahem* reformed evangelical youth group kid from the early aughts then this is pretty close to mandatory reading.
March 28, 2025
An utterly hilarious look at the heart of growing up Evangelical, at points I felt like Kirk must have been spying on my own childhood, the jokes were just too accurate. This is such a compassionate book, filled with love for all ex-middle-school-Jesus-freaks and the adults we grow into.
An update - if you need another reason to read this book, here are some comments from Kirk after the book's publication on us - the children of Evangelicalism who have now found reason to rethink it:
"In fact, we’re the religion-industrial complex’s worst nightmare. By grooming us to dread everything that’d de-groom us, it revealed its deepest fear: its nail-scarred star pupils realizing we hold not only a hammer but also the blueprints. By age six, we mastered their lingo. Humbling them at Bible trivia? Child’s play, literally. Our machine created its own monsters, ones armed with this superpower: We cannot be fooled by charismatic men pantomiming certainty.
But that’s only worth a damn if it benefits someone else. What men meant for evil, may God use for good. Leaving captivity would’ve been easier, if we’d had refugee elders loudly telling us deconstruction — the modern term for facing rejection in order to feel less insane — is worth it. So let’s become those elders.
Nobody chooses to be indoctrinated, and nobody’s entirely free of it. Maybe you’ve been drafted into a battle against a different machine of bigotry or poverty or injustice. Still, in our common war, each liberation leads to another. (Sorry for making all this sound like The Matrix. I was raised by Y2K youth pastors and Zack de la Rocha.)
The point:
People can change. Need proof?
Hi. :)"
Utterly lovely. Everyone should read this.
An update - if you need another reason to read this book, here are some comments from Kirk after the book's publication on us - the children of Evangelicalism who have now found reason to rethink it:
"In fact, we’re the religion-industrial complex’s worst nightmare. By grooming us to dread everything that’d de-groom us, it revealed its deepest fear: its nail-scarred star pupils realizing we hold not only a hammer but also the blueprints. By age six, we mastered their lingo. Humbling them at Bible trivia? Child’s play, literally. Our machine created its own monsters, ones armed with this superpower: We cannot be fooled by charismatic men pantomiming certainty.
But that’s only worth a damn if it benefits someone else. What men meant for evil, may God use for good. Leaving captivity would’ve been easier, if we’d had refugee elders loudly telling us deconstruction — the modern term for facing rejection in order to feel less insane — is worth it. So let’s become those elders.
Nobody chooses to be indoctrinated, and nobody’s entirely free of it. Maybe you’ve been drafted into a battle against a different machine of bigotry or poverty or injustice. Still, in our common war, each liberation leads to another. (Sorry for making all this sound like The Matrix. I was raised by Y2K youth pastors and Zack de la Rocha.)
The point:
People can change. Need proof?
Hi. :)"
Utterly lovely. Everyone should read this.
December 1, 2024
comedy, therapy, and deconstruction
So much to say about this book. Simultaneously hilarious and therapeutic, this was like the author read my mind as a teen. I highly recommend for anyone who grew up in a church like mine (Traders Point, which sadly is more like this book these days than not I fear) or went to a conservative Christian college like I did (especially Taylor grads), and who has always felt guilty about asking “what if?”. For my fellow sojourners on a walk to deconstruct and decouple our faiths from how we were indoctrinated, this is a must read.
So much to say about this book. Simultaneously hilarious and therapeutic, this was like the author read my mind as a teen. I highly recommend for anyone who grew up in a church like mine (Traders Point, which sadly is more like this book these days than not I fear) or went to a conservative Christian college like I did (especially Taylor grads), and who has always felt guilty about asking “what if?”. For my fellow sojourners on a walk to deconstruct and decouple our faiths from how we were indoctrinated, this is a must read.
March 20, 2024
Like reading about an alien planet. Really drove home how different my Catholic childhood was from a Christian one.
January 12, 2025
This guy's got a knack for writing! I was chuckling just about every page.
October 8, 2024
The epilogue brought me to tears. Beautiful.
February 8, 2024
Wow, this book is special. I'm not a writer and nothing I could write here would come close to capturing the way I feel about this book. I cannot begin to do it justice. I can't remember the last time a book made me cry. And to do that and then get me to laugh out loud pages later is really something special. If you're religious you should read this book. If you aren't religious you should read this book. Seriously y'all just read the book
September 22, 2024
Amazing read. I didn’t expect this book to remind me so much of my own experiences with Christianity during high school, but I felt so much of my journey reflected in Isaac’s. A truly wonderful book.
January 29, 2024
If you or anyone in your orbit has been involved with or even loosely affiliated with Evangelical Christianity, and/or Southern Baptists, Prosperity Christianity, and/or “mega churches,” READ THIS BOOK.
And let’s face it, if you live in the U.S., particularly the American South, those qualifiers apply to everyone. We all know someone who has been impacted by the ideologies that motivate those segments of Protestant Christianity. EVERYONE would find value when they READ THIS BOOK.
I believe it offers great insight into what motivates large segments of society in the U.S. in ways that are good and not-so-good. To know what drives people, I believe you should understand them and what shaped their philosophy. READ THIS BOOK and you gain a great deal of that understanding.
It is entertaining (there are laugh moments), but it also challenges accepted paradigms. It spurs sadness, for fictional characters, yes, but also for those aforementioned society segments who have been affected by subscribers to this version U.S. Christian faith.
As someone raised in the Deep South within the Southern Baptist Church during middle school and high school years in the 1990s, I related very closely to the experiences illustrated in this book. As an adult, who (I hope) has evolved as a human and advanced in my philosophy and awareness of the larger world, this book spurs great realization about the indoctrination of that time in my life, as well as the lasting impact it had on my belief and behavior system for many years. It even rekindles memories and greater awareness of underlying, unrecognized sentiments and beliefs at the root of who I am/was as a person . “Huh, so that’s why I think that/have been afraid of that/worried about that for all these years.”
Good, bad or otherwise, growing up as an RA, Awana pin wearer, beach retreat goer, church basketball league player, and youth group participant … part of me will always be a God-FEARing person. Through his work Jason, reveals how and why those parts of my personality exist. At the same time he validates my matured Christian perspective that we aren’t confined to experiencing life on a Highway to Hell, but are instead all children of a benevolent Creator, who bestowed on us the ability to think and reason and form a personal system of faith that does not require the influence of an intermediary or a power structure that lifts up some people by denigrating others.
TL;DR Synopsis: READ THIS BOOK.
And let’s face it, if you live in the U.S., particularly the American South, those qualifiers apply to everyone. We all know someone who has been impacted by the ideologies that motivate those segments of Protestant Christianity. EVERYONE would find value when they READ THIS BOOK.
I believe it offers great insight into what motivates large segments of society in the U.S. in ways that are good and not-so-good. To know what drives people, I believe you should understand them and what shaped their philosophy. READ THIS BOOK and you gain a great deal of that understanding.
It is entertaining (there are laugh moments), but it also challenges accepted paradigms. It spurs sadness, for fictional characters, yes, but also for those aforementioned society segments who have been affected by subscribers to this version U.S. Christian faith.
As someone raised in the Deep South within the Southern Baptist Church during middle school and high school years in the 1990s, I related very closely to the experiences illustrated in this book. As an adult, who (I hope) has evolved as a human and advanced in my philosophy and awareness of the larger world, this book spurs great realization about the indoctrination of that time in my life, as well as the lasting impact it had on my belief and behavior system for many years. It even rekindles memories and greater awareness of underlying, unrecognized sentiments and beliefs at the root of who I am/was as a person . “Huh, so that’s why I think that/have been afraid of that/worried about that for all these years.”
Good, bad or otherwise, growing up as an RA, Awana pin wearer, beach retreat goer, church basketball league player, and youth group participant … part of me will always be a God-FEARing person. Through his work Jason, reveals how and why those parts of my personality exist. At the same time he validates my matured Christian perspective that we aren’t confined to experiencing life on a Highway to Hell, but are instead all children of a benevolent Creator, who bestowed on us the ability to think and reason and form a personal system of faith that does not require the influence of an intermediary or a power structure that lifts up some people by denigrating others.
TL;DR Synopsis: READ THIS BOOK.
November 23, 2023
I was honored to read an early copy of this book. Since reading, it’s stuck with me in a way few books have, and a not insignificant part of that is because it so perfectly captures what it was like being a misfit evangelical: trying so hard to fit the mold of what you’re supposed to be when fundamental parts of you are the things that get preached against on Sundays (and Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Sunday nights…). Of trying to fix what’s wrong in your heart by rubbing some church on it. Beyond just being about misfit evangelicals, it’s about the very human search for belonging and meaning in what we do, how we understand the universe, and, to crib Michael W. Smith, about finding our place in this world. There’s a love for those who experienced this world and all the things it left us with as we’ve grown. I’ve never felt more like I was reading my own life’s story than I did with this book. Even if you know nothing about what this time or culture was like, you’ll find yourself in these characters. What an incredible achievement.
January 22, 2024
I opened the book this afternoon and didn't close it again until it was finished at 1:30am. I was never closer than the outer orbits of this world in high school but Isaac's mind was familiar - and written so clearly. This book was such a gift.
November 21, 2023
I was lucky enough to read an advanced copy of this book, and I can't recommend it enough. It's a great coming of age novel about growing up in the evangelical church. Jason Kirk treats his characters with respect and empathy while not shying away from discussing the darker parts of that subculture. It's a balance that I've never seen executed quite so well before.
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