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423 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
They will tear us down, minute by minute, hour by hour, pull up by pull up, push-up by push-up, squat thrust by squat thrust. Our minds and bodies will be transformed. I won’t be me anymore. I’ll be part of a team. The team will be what matters.
The team will be the only country you love. You will fight for them. If they live, you live.
I understood all this. From the start, I understood everything. I fucking knew I was going to learn to fight. And I was going to live. This was my war. Mine.
It all made perfect sense.
***
I missed my family on Sundays. Missed them like hell. And at basic training, you know I got into this thing of doing busy work, while about half the guys went to do their church thing. You know, Sunday mornings, we’d clean our guns one more fucking time, shine our shoes another fucking time, do all that fucking busy work they had us doing. Your boots could never be too shiny. Your gun could never be too clean. In the Marines, when you train, if you’re awake, then you’re doing something. No such thing as doing nothing.
You know what a vacation was? It was having the time to smoke a fucking cigarette. It was having the time to listen to some jackass tell a joke you’d already heard.
***
You know, when I was in Nam, all my dreams were of home.
When I came home, all my dreams were of war.
And then I heard the shot -- deafening -- as it echoed in the dusk. The buck looked up, took a step -- then stumbled to the ground.His father had already assured Gustavo, when he was only ten, "You just don't understand the aesthetics of being a man." That night, young Gustavo looked up "aesthetics" in the dictionary.
This -- this was why we had come.
It was a beautiful thing.
I never went hunting again.
Octavio believed that wars cleansed the world like a good rain and it was our duty to sacrifice our treasure and our sons and saw the whole matter as resembling the story of Abraham willing to sacrifice his son on the altar of God.We recognize the pride of those boys who joined the Marines, partly because they wanted to fight for their country, but largely because they wanted to show themselves, as much as show others, that they were truly men.
You have left everything you have ever known. You are taking a journey that millions of immigrants have taken. Immigrants who leave behind their homelands for reasons that are known to them alone.A strong and deeply moving story. A tragedy in the Greek sense of good people facing and accepting the conflict between their conscience and the implacable forces they confront.