44 Poems on Being with Each Other: A Poetry Unbound Collection

by Pádraig Ó Tuama

A new volume that offers immersive reflections with forty powerful poems on human connection.

This celebratory anthology explores human connection through forty poems curated by Pádraig Ó Tuama, host of the On Being Project’s Poetry Unbound podcast. Along with each poem, Ó Tuama shares an enriching meditation, revealing the ways we relate to each other, the world around us, and ourselves. Among the selections, Ó Tuama examines the profundity of friendship through Langston Hughes’ “I Miss My Friend,” the strength of familial bonds in Rita Dove’s “Eurydice Turning,” the power of self-love depicted in Lucille Clifton’s “Won’t You Celebrate with Me,” and the vitality of our connection to nature in Joy Harjo’s “Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings.” Blending humor with insight, tension with tenderness, and complication with care, 40 Poems on Being with Each Other clearly articulates what is at stake in reading it illuminates aspects of the human condition, particularly our connections with each other, and provides material for grounded and intelligent self-reflection.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Relationships, Audiobook, Anthologies

368 pages, Hardcover

Published February 4, 2025

About the author

Pádraig Ó Tuama’s poetry and prose centre around themes of language, power, conflict and religion. His work has won acclaim in circles of poetry, politics, psychotherapy and conflict analysis. His formal qualifications (PhD, MTh and BA) cover creative writing, literary criticism and theology. Alongside this, he pursued vocational training in conflict analysis, specialising in groupwork.

His published work is in the fields of poetry, anthology, essay, memoir, theology and conflict. A new volume of poetry — Kitchen Hymns — is forthcoming from CHEERIO in mid 2024.

Profiled in The New Yorker, Pádraig’s poems have been featured in Poetry Ireland Review, Academy of American Poets, Harvard Review, New England Review, Raidió Teilifís Éireann’s Poem of the Week, and the Kenyon Review.

Pádraig has told stories at The Moth, has been featured on NPR’s All Things Considered, has presented programmes on poetry and language for BBC Radio 4; and has extended interviews with On Being, with Kim Hill on Radio NZ, and Soul Search on Radio National (Australia). In addition, he has interviewed poets and public figures including former President of Ireland Mary McAleese, Hanif Abdurraqib, The Edge, Sarah Perry, Joy Harjo, Billy Collins and Martin Hayes.

Reviews

[Cliff · Rating 5 out of 5]

a beating heart

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed, I cried, I have so many more poets I’m now interested in, I will continue to read everything Pádraig Ó Tuama writes.

“I wish I could make the argument that a river and a sunset plus a calm disregard of the ego are enough.” - Fear and Love by Jim Moore 😭

[Jaclyn]

I’ve been looking for ways to get not just more poetry but also more poetry analysis into my life and this was absolutely it. Pádraig starts each chapter with some sort of anecdote from his own life, he then reads a poem that somehow connects with said anecdote and he then looks at the poem in terms of form and content. He also sometimes connects the poem with other poems (the dream). He does it all with so much care and careful attentive reading. It’s pure joy and skill and knowledge and curiosity. A gift for poetry lovers. I listened on audio as I love having poems performed and read to me. What a special book! I think the only Australian poet included is Andy Jackson but please correct me if I’m wrong. His poem selection for the anthology is remarkable.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved this volume. these poetry unbound collections are a great way to find interesting/moving/powerful poems and poets.

[Ann Mekala · Rating 5 out of 5]

This felt simultaneously like taking a poetry class from a beloved professor and talking about poetry with my best friend.

[chris tervit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another brilliant collection- massive thanks for this gift, Lizzie Milne 😍. Such clever analysis and personal sharing from Padraig - I’m looking forward to seeing him in Glasgow in February.

[Anne Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

O Tuama really has a knack for opening up poems to their full meaning.

[Jenny T · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not all of the selected poems resonated with me, but I love, love, love Padraig O Tuama's commentary on them. It's thoughtful, personal, and lovely.

[Kara Hisatake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ó Tuama continues to delight in this collection of poems. He puts them together thematically, but also does his own reading of the poem afterwards. I find these to be particularly helpful because sometimes, I'm not the best poem-reader. It makes me slow down and find meaning in the words, or to read them in a different way. Ultimately, the most valuable part of this is that it makes me rethink the poem and just spend more time with it. It makes me take more wondrous joy in the particularities of language.

This is a collection about how we make connections--in a way, it is ultimately and innately human, yet these are connections moving across space and time so that connections can mean connection to other humans but also to nature, and land, and to our past or future selves, or to someone who is gone (spirits).

The collection and Ó Tuama also makes me yearn to rethink my own practice and morning rituals. Why not be like him, and read a poem every morning, or spend a year reading a poet's entire oeuvre? After reading in the morning, do a little writing of your own, and you could grow in language, or it would definitely make you slow down with the poem a little longer, and savor it.

"From the memorable to the mundane, moments appear that ask for our attention; we give it, we move on, we remember some events and forget many others. The Irish word for file translates as 'poet' but also as 'seer'. I'm hesitant to imagine that poets have special insight, or particular powers of perception. We don't. We just work damned hard to see, remember, write, see again and write more. So a poem is an act of noticing. What does it see? It sees forward and backward. It sees the futures that probably won't happen. A poem understands the past has a life of its own, and is both patient and impatient with lament. It can contain rage and hunger, it can protest at the state of the world, and plot the low plod toward resented compromise. Poems are recipes for happiness and prayers for when no other prayers will do. They record what's unfolded, and also what's been hidden in the folds. Poems confess, apologise, ask forgiveness, ask for mercy, ask for time, ask for space, ask to be read again, and ask for attention. A poem might be addressed to someone who'll never read it--be they estranged, or uninterested, or dead--but the address is to you and you can be anyone." (2)

Ode to My Homegirls

"Another old trick from literary studies: summarise a poem in four words taken directly from the text, realising that your choice reveals as much--or more--about yourself than the poem." (164)

My Therapist Wants to Know about My Relationship to Work

trauma is not sacred

[David Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's possible you've read Ó Tuama's 2023 collection, 50 Poems to Open Your World. If so, you'll be familiar with the format and appearance of this new collection: a brief introductory statement from the author on a relatable topic or experience, an excellent poem with some connection to that topic or experience, and a three or four page reflection and examination by the author on the preceding poem. Listeners to Pádraig Ó Tuama's podcast series, Poetry Unbound, will be familiar with this approach already, as it is also the format he uses for each episode of the podcast. In fact, many of the poems included in this volume have also been featured on Poetry Unbound, though the commentary in the book appears to have been slightly altered or updated.
Ó Tuama has a good eye for great poems, consistently making selections of some of the best poetry out there. You'll most likely recognize many of the poets included in the collection, especially if you're of a fan of the genre. He also includes several less well-known poets, creating a collection that features some recent contemporary compositions by an impressive and diverse group of talented writers. If you don't read something in this book that inspires you to explore a poet's work further, and buy a volume or two of the original books that featured these poems, I would be surprised to know it. I'm already looking greatly forward to seeking out several of these poets and their collections, so I can continue the pleasure of reading and discovering some more unusually good verse.

I am pleased to have had the opportunity to review 44 Poems On Being With Each Other thanks to the advance electronic reader copy provided by W. W. Norton and Company Publishers and Netgalley.com in exchange for an honest review.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5 ⭐️ (Rounded up)

Thanks to NetGalley, W.W. Norton & Company, & Pádraig Ó. Tuama for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

In gathering my thoughts while reading this book, I first thought that this book read like a textbook. That didn’t seem to fit and I couldn’t figure out why until I went to write this review. It reads almost like a collection of essays. The poem is there and then there are some lengthy, detailed notes just after the poem. These notes are very, very long and it was somehow just not enjoyable.

Personally, I like to read through poetry really quickly to get an idea of the immediate emotions and then take time to dive in and digest it. That didn’t seem possible with this format. I was just forced to slow down and digest everything right away which was kind of annoying. The selection of poetry was nice and varied—theme was well represented.

[Daniel Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes he gets a little too cute with the Merriam-Webster definition dumps, but overall, Ó Tuama has a great eye for sensitivity and heartbreak. It's a great variety of poems and a clear launching pad for the emotional truths the editor is interested in. I love reading annotations and it can be really valuable to see how others interpret poetry that you resonate with and poetry that you are cold to.

Favorite poems:
- Someday I Will Visit Hawk Mountain, by M. Soledad Cabalero
- The Rungs, by Benjamin Gucciardi
- Waiting for the Barbarians, by C.P. Cavafy (trans. Evan Jones)
- [UNTITLED], by Michael Wasson
- The Orange, by Wendy Cope
- Thank You: For Not Letting Me Die, by Richard Blanco
- trauma is not sacred, by Kai Cheng Thom
- Fear and Love, by Jim Moore
- Hebrews 13, by Jericho Brown

[Lorren · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a longtime listener of On Being, I was delighted to pick up this volume. I love poetry but am somewhat of a novice, and I’m not always certain of the interpretation of poems. While I think every reader can interpret in their own way, Padraig O’Tuama gently guides the reader into noticing nuances of form and expression, always highlighting the poem but leaving bread crumbs about his own interesting, thoughtful life. This is a beautiful collection of moving poems and the essays accompanying them add to the experience, almost as though the reader is in a private book club. I see myself returning to this collection again, and I sought out many collections from the poets featured here.

I received a galley of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Monica Snyder · Rating 4 out of 5]

At lunchtime I bought a huge orange—
The size of it made us all laugh.
I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—
They got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy,
As ordinary things often do
Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park.
This is peace and contentment. It’s new.

The rest of the day was quite easy.
I did all the jobs on my list
And enjoyed them and had some time over.
I love you. I’m glad I exist.

-Wendy Cope, The Orange

[Eileen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection to savor and return to again and again. I started with the audio version (read by the author) and enjoyed the sense of a bite size podcast, I then bought the physical book because I wanted to sit with the words. This has introduced be to more poets and broadened my perspective through the reflections shared. I will be buying copies for friends and family.

I would also recommend the previous collection and the podcast.

[Lonnie Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pádraig is like the uncle you so look forward to seeing at Christmas. The one everyone in the family loves the most. The one who would always find time to sneak away with you and listen with genuine enthusiasm to you ramble the way an awkward, vaguely creative 8 year old does. Who helps you see and wonder and love in new ways.

This collection is like sitting down and listening to that uncle share some of his favorite poems with you.

[Adam Lauver · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's a stretch of absolute bangers here bookended by a mother and a father -- from Michael Wasson reflecting, "But before you live / you must remember every word / your mother never said," to Robert Hayden recalling his childhood relationship with his father: "Speaking indifferently to him, / who had driven out the cold / and polished my good shoes as well. / What did I know, what did I know / of love's austere and lonely offices?"

Always grateful for Padraig's curation and insights.

[Dr. Steve Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book! It contains a remarkable collection of unique poems that spark deep reflection and thought. I have no doubt that anyone who reads it will share my enthusiasm. The author has truly showcased his incredible talent in this work.

Thank you once again, and I encourage everyone to dive into this book—you won’t regret it! So stupid

[Peggy Huey · Rating 4 out of 5]

W. W. Norton shared with me this book that blends poems by various poets, some well-known (Rita Dove and Jo Harjo), some not (Chen Chen and Benjamin Gucciardi), with the author's reflections on those poems in light of his own experiences. In the process, he sheds some light on the possibilities provided by poetry, both writing and reading it.

[Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pádraig Ó Tuama introduces a poem, shares the poem, and then comments on the poem. It's a lovely way to create a poetry book. The poems all center on the theme of relationships.

Some of my long-time favorites are here: "The Orange" (Wendy Cope) and "Poem" (Langston Hughes) and "Those Winter Sundays" (Robert Hayden). I added a few from this collection to my personal file of favorite poems.

[Anita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so appreciative of the author's own poetry, theology, and conflict mediation work. Here he gave me the gift of exposing me to 44 amazing poems and poets, a number of whom were new to me. He reads and writes with generosity and insight into the human condition, pointing toward grace as he writes from his own experience and comments upon these poems.

[David Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm an avid reader, but not an avid reader of poetry. This collection combined with the intelligent commentary added by Pádraig Ó. Tuama is so worth reading and fills me with a desire to read more poetry and to learn to be a better poetry reader.

[eleanor fitzgerald · Rating 5 out of 5]

as always, i eat up his words. some of these poems i had read before, some where new. my old favourite was the drop off and my new favorite was the orange. breathtaking analysis, as always, and the greatest joy when reading him is sending poems to my friends that make me think of them.

[Tim Hoiland · Rating 3 out of 5]

“I’m hesitant to imagine that poets have special insight, or particular powers of perception. We don’t. We just work damned hard to see, remember, write, see again and write more.”

Some reflections prompted by this book are here.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Poetry Unbound (and subsequent In Being substack) are some of the best of the best. The poems are carefully curated and have introduced me to the likes of Amanda Gunn, Denise Duhamel, and Kaveh Akbar. An essential anthology and highly enjoyable.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another great collection of poetry and reflection. It’s a fun experience to (re)read the poems after having listened to them on the Poetry Unbound podcast and to let them wash over me in a new and different way.

[Nancy Dunavant · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of poems about human connection and O’Tuama’s reflections invite the reader to linger over each poem. Encountering new (and some familiar) poets continues to broaden my enjoyment of poetry. A definite new favorite is Dorianne Laux… So many poems…so little time!

[Danielle Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

audio book. enjoyable, though some poems might have been better seen on the page.

[Mary Tharp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the poems.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whatever we are
to each other, reaching out
beats the retreat in