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The Invisible Front: Love and Loss in an Era of Endless War
An involving, ultimately inspiring story of a military family that lost two sons—one to suicide and one in combat—and devoted their lives to fighting the military’s suicide epidemic.
Major General Mark Graham is a decorated two-star officer whose integrity and patriotism inspired his sons, Jeff and Kevin, to pursue military careers of their own. When Kevin and Jeff die within nine months of one another—Kevin, a student enrolled in the University of Kentucky’s Reserve Officers’ Training Corps program, commits suicide and Jeff, who served in the Army as a second lieutenant, dies as a result of an IED attack in Iraq—Mark and his wife Carol find themselves reeling after the loss of two of their three children. As they begin to gather their bearings and contemplate a life without their sons, they must also come to terms with the terrible stigma that surrounds suicide in the military. This stigma is brought into high relief through the Grahams’ own experience of how their tight-knit military community marked their sons’ very different deaths.
The Grahams commit themselves to fighting the military’s suicide epidemic and making sure that the families of troops who take their own lives receive the dignity and compassion that were the hallmarks of both of their sons’ lives. The Invisible Front is the story of their quest to do so. As Mark ascends the military hierarchy and eventually takes command of Fort Carson, Colorado—a sprawling base with one of the highest suicide rates in the armed forces—the Grahams assume a larger platform from which to work to reduce the stigma that surrounds mental health in the military and to develop new ways of keeping troubled troops from killing themselves. Their efforts put them in direct conflict with an entrenched military bureaucracy that considered mental health problems to be a display of weakness and that refused to acknowledge, until far too late, the severity of its suicide problem. The Grahams refuse to back down, using the pain and grief that their sons’ deaths inspired to fight to change the institution that is the cornerstone of their lives.
Yochi Dreazen, an award-winning journalist who has covered the military since 1999, has been granted remarkable access to the Graham family and, as a result, is able to tell the story of Kevin and Jeff’s legacy in the full context of America’s two long wars. The Invisible Front places the Graham family’s story against the backdrop of the military’s suicide spike, caused in part by the military’s own institutional shortcomings and its resistance to change. With great sympathy and deep understanding, The Invisible Front examines America's problematic treatment of its soldiers and offers the Graham family’s work as a new way of understanding how to minimize the risk of suicide, substance abuse and PTSD in the military.
Major General Mark Graham is a decorated two-star officer whose integrity and patriotism inspired his sons, Jeff and Kevin, to pursue military careers of their own. When Kevin and Jeff die within nine months of one another—Kevin, a student enrolled in the University of Kentucky’s Reserve Officers’ Training Corps program, commits suicide and Jeff, who served in the Army as a second lieutenant, dies as a result of an IED attack in Iraq—Mark and his wife Carol find themselves reeling after the loss of two of their three children. As they begin to gather their bearings and contemplate a life without their sons, they must also come to terms with the terrible stigma that surrounds suicide in the military. This stigma is brought into high relief through the Grahams’ own experience of how their tight-knit military community marked their sons’ very different deaths.
The Grahams commit themselves to fighting the military’s suicide epidemic and making sure that the families of troops who take their own lives receive the dignity and compassion that were the hallmarks of both of their sons’ lives. The Invisible Front is the story of their quest to do so. As Mark ascends the military hierarchy and eventually takes command of Fort Carson, Colorado—a sprawling base with one of the highest suicide rates in the armed forces—the Grahams assume a larger platform from which to work to reduce the stigma that surrounds mental health in the military and to develop new ways of keeping troubled troops from killing themselves. Their efforts put them in direct conflict with an entrenched military bureaucracy that considered mental health problems to be a display of weakness and that refused to acknowledge, until far too late, the severity of its suicide problem. The Grahams refuse to back down, using the pain and grief that their sons’ deaths inspired to fight to change the institution that is the cornerstone of their lives.
Yochi Dreazen, an award-winning journalist who has covered the military since 1999, has been granted remarkable access to the Graham family and, as a result, is able to tell the story of Kevin and Jeff’s legacy in the full context of America’s two long wars. The Invisible Front places the Graham family’s story against the backdrop of the military’s suicide spike, caused in part by the military’s own institutional shortcomings and its resistance to change. With great sympathy and deep understanding, The Invisible Front examines America's problematic treatment of its soldiers and offers the Graham family’s work as a new way of understanding how to minimize the risk of suicide, substance abuse and PTSD in the military.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2014
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1529 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 75 reviews
August 24, 2014
This is a powerful, enlightening book that should be read by every American. It helped me further understand the mindset and culture of the military life. The story of the Mark Graham family is beautifully told (two sons in the military, one lost to suicide, one in combat), and their resultant determination to ensure that all soldiers are treated with respect, dignity, and get the help they need regardless of whether their disability/injury is mental or physical is inspiring. Their ability to use their personal pain as a springboard to help others shows such strength of character, it is humbling.
The book was disturbing to me in that I did not know the extent of the stigma (and repercussions) that soldiers with depression, PTSD or other mental issues endure from their leaders and comrades in arms. It particularly pained me to read how hard it is for troubled soldiers to seek help, the severe lack of resources available to them and that the military tries to discharge them so that the military doesn't have to pay them their pension and medical benefits. I was outraged at that!
I can only hope that the efforts of Mark & Carol Graham to increase awareness of the need to change the military reaction/response to soldiers suffering from PTSD continues to bring about changes. Not only in the accessibility of needed services, but in removing the stigma for seeking help when needed. Those who serve us, deserve better.
This book is not a "fun" read, but it is an important one.
I received an advance copy of this book through Goodreads First-Reads program in exchange for an honest review.
The book was disturbing to me in that I did not know the extent of the stigma (and repercussions) that soldiers with depression, PTSD or other mental issues endure from their leaders and comrades in arms. It particularly pained me to read how hard it is for troubled soldiers to seek help, the severe lack of resources available to them and that the military tries to discharge them so that the military doesn't have to pay them their pension and medical benefits. I was outraged at that!
I can only hope that the efforts of Mark & Carol Graham to increase awareness of the need to change the military reaction/response to soldiers suffering from PTSD continues to bring about changes. Not only in the accessibility of needed services, but in removing the stigma for seeking help when needed. Those who serve us, deserve better.
This book is not a "fun" read, but it is an important one.
I received an advance copy of this book through Goodreads First-Reads program in exchange for an honest review.
December 18, 2014
This was an engaging close-up chronicle of one military family's struggle with tragedy and particularly suicide, but it ready more like an adulatory speech than a true piece of journalism. I thought the author was oddly uncritical of the Grahams, and paints them unabashedly as heroes. While I was moved by what they went through, and did agree with most of their actions, it was hard to trust that I had the full story given that the author was so committed to praising them. I also felt that relatively little information was provided that would enable us to step back and see the question of military suicide in a broader framework.
August 16, 2014
Several things at play here:
1) Kevin's death. Kevin Graham died of suicide following ill-managed depression -- depression that was poorly managed in large part because he didn't have the resources he needed or the assurance that he would be able to follow through on his military goals if he could access those resources. His loss was absolutely colossal to the family, of course, but some of the reactions they got -- implications that they should be ashamed, for example -- are far harder to understand than grief.
2) Jeff's death. Jeff Graham died on patrol in Iraq, another impossibly large tragedy for his family. Because he died at war, though, his death was treated as, for lack of a better word, 'legitimate'. The support the Grahams got this time was unreserved, and made the (sometimes) hesitant support after Kevin's death stand out in even starker relief.
3) That either of them were doing what they were: Kevin was in the ROTC, and at university in Kentucky, because he thought he should be, because the military was viewed in his family as such an honourable thing to go into and because being in the ROTC made paying for university easier. Being in the ROTC also meant repercussions if it came out that he was on Prozac or struggled with depression. Jeff was in a particularly dangerous area in Iraq, performing a role that, really, he wasn't meant to do. Two very flawed situations.
4) There are many, many other anecdotal stories in the book, of soldiers who faced PTSD or depression, who killed or tried to kill themselves, who killed or tried to kill others, who were injured at war or at home. Many stories of trauma being (at best) ignored and (at worst) exploited and used as a reason for abuse. This is not the first I've heard of the often skeptical approach the military takes to PTSD and mental illness, but it's heartbreaking to hear about. So many people putting their lives on the line and ending up in terrible situations with no support.
On that note, it's wonderfully researched (although my copy is an ARC and doesn't have a bibliography at the end -- woe!); it strikes me as tremendously good for the book that the author is a journalist rather than, say, a family member. He's compassionate in his writing but able to work with the broader picture. It's a really hard read in places (impossible not to feel for the Graham family; flabbergasting situations and reactions and policies in places), but also a very good one.
I received a free copy of this book via a Goodreads giveaway.
1) Kevin's death. Kevin Graham died of suicide following ill-managed depression -- depression that was poorly managed in large part because he didn't have the resources he needed or the assurance that he would be able to follow through on his military goals if he could access those resources. His loss was absolutely colossal to the family, of course, but some of the reactions they got -- implications that they should be ashamed, for example -- are far harder to understand than grief.
2) Jeff's death. Jeff Graham died on patrol in Iraq, another impossibly large tragedy for his family. Because he died at war, though, his death was treated as, for lack of a better word, 'legitimate'. The support the Grahams got this time was unreserved, and made the (sometimes) hesitant support after Kevin's death stand out in even starker relief.
3) That either of them were doing what they were: Kevin was in the ROTC, and at university in Kentucky, because he thought he should be, because the military was viewed in his family as such an honourable thing to go into and because being in the ROTC made paying for university easier. Being in the ROTC also meant repercussions if it came out that he was on Prozac or struggled with depression. Jeff was in a particularly dangerous area in Iraq, performing a role that, really, he wasn't meant to do. Two very flawed situations.
4) There are many, many other anecdotal stories in the book, of soldiers who faced PTSD or depression, who killed or tried to kill themselves, who killed or tried to kill others, who were injured at war or at home. Many stories of trauma being (at best) ignored and (at worst) exploited and used as a reason for abuse. This is not the first I've heard of the often skeptical approach the military takes to PTSD and mental illness, but it's heartbreaking to hear about. So many people putting their lives on the line and ending up in terrible situations with no support.
On that note, it's wonderfully researched (although my copy is an ARC and doesn't have a bibliography at the end -- woe!); it strikes me as tremendously good for the book that the author is a journalist rather than, say, a family member. He's compassionate in his writing but able to work with the broader picture. It's a really hard read in places (impossible not to feel for the Graham family; flabbergasting situations and reactions and policies in places), but also a very good one.
I received a free copy of this book via a Goodreads giveaway.
October 19, 2014
This deeply moving book is an examination of the mental health crisis facing the American military, and the stigma attached to any sort of mental health problem, through the experience of one family who suffer the unimaginable loss of both their sons. General Mark Graham’s career success inspired his boys to join the military themselves. Kevin commits suicide and Jeff is killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq. Mark and his wife Carol were shocked at the Army’s difference in attitude to each death, with Kevin’s being considered shameful whilst Jeff was hailed a hero. Somehow they managed to transform their grief at their family tragedy into a campaign for greater understanding and a more proactive approach to helping those suffering from PTSD and suicidal feelings. The book is a damning picture of what the situation has been up to now, with any mental health problems being considered a sign of weakness. Mark Graham’s efforts have already had some results but more need to be done to combat the quite horrifying statistics, particularly of suicide rates.
The author has meticulously and painstakingly researched the subject, and based his book on hundreds of hours of interviews with the family and military personnel, family journals and correspondence and his own personal experience when embedded with army units in Iraq. Sometimes I found there was just too much detail, especially in the early pages, when setting the scene and introducing the reader to the family, and I am always somewhat irritated by re-created conversations, however closely based on related fact, but nevertheless this is an important and eye-opening account of a little known subject. It is both clearly and succinctly written, if on occasion not as tightly constructed as it could have been. The author is to be congratulated on bringing these issues to a wider audience, and opening up a debate on mental health and the military.
The author has meticulously and painstakingly researched the subject, and based his book on hundreds of hours of interviews with the family and military personnel, family journals and correspondence and his own personal experience when embedded with army units in Iraq. Sometimes I found there was just too much detail, especially in the early pages, when setting the scene and introducing the reader to the family, and I am always somewhat irritated by re-created conversations, however closely based on related fact, but nevertheless this is an important and eye-opening account of a little known subject. It is both clearly and succinctly written, if on occasion not as tightly constructed as it could have been. The author is to be congratulated on bringing these issues to a wider audience, and opening up a debate on mental health and the military.
December 7, 2014
Very powerful. Very heartbreaking. Brought me to tears on more than one occasion. That we, as a nation, have failed our soldiers so badly, for so very long, should be our greatest shame. More people should read this book (or listen to the NPR interview https://onpoint.wbur.org/2014/11/11/t...
We all should be aware of this, and we all should be working to de-stigmatize PTSD/depression/TBI in our military.
We all should be aware of this, and we all should be working to de-stigmatize PTSD/depression/TBI in our military.
May 12, 2015
Such a moving book with a wonderfully gripping story.
July 22, 2015
You wonder just how much pain one family can endure.
June 24, 2020
The military’s suicide rate jumped more than 80 percent between 2002 and 2009, the first year that the percentage of troops who took their own lives was higher than the percentage of civilians who did so. In 2012 more soldiers died by their own hand than in combat. In 2013 the total number of military suicides since the start of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan passed the 1000 mark. (p. xiv)
“You know, there were many times I’ve told my wife—in just a state of panic, and just being so upset—that I really wished I just died [in Iraq],” he told NPR. “Cause if you just die over there, everyone writes you off as a hero.” (p.188)
Retired admiral Mike Mullen said in an interview for this book that stigma was “embedded” deep within the culture of the military itself. (p.192)
PSTD - “I look at it as just like a physical injury” Major General David Blackledge said. (p. 201)
TAPS - Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (p.206)
“They say: We leave you our deaths. Give them their meaning.” a line from an Archibald MacLeish poem engraved on Fort Riley’s memorial wall for America’s fallen in Iraq and Afghanistan. (p.208)
“The most important thing about caring for a family who loses someone to suicide is to treat them the same way as you would if their loved one had died of a car wreck, drowning, cancer, or a heart attack.” Carol Graham (p.211)
Fourteen Fort Carson troops would eventually be linked to eleven killings or attempted killings between 2005 and 2008, far and away the most violent crimes ever committed by soldiers from a single base over such a short period. (p.225)
“In the short expanse of nine months, Mark and Carol lost both their sons, and Melanie lost her brothers,” Rodriguez said. “You and Carol took this loss and transformed it into hope for so many others.” (p.265)
In 2011, his final full year in uniform, 278 soldiers took their own lives. In 2012, the year Mark said good-bye to the army he’d served for so long, a record 349 troops killed themselves, and the number of soldiers who died to suicide exceeded those killed in combat for the first time. (p.266)
In July 2011, President Obama announced that he would begin sending condolence letters to the families of groups, who killed themselves in Iraq or Afghanistan. …. He said, “This issue is emotional, painful, and complicated, but these Americans served our nation bravely. They didn’t die because they were weak. And the fact that they didn’t get the help they needed must change.” (p.271)
More people take their own lives than die in car crashes, a vivid illustration of the skyrocketing civilian suicide rate. In 2010, the most recent year for which official data is available, 38,364 people took their own lives, while 33,687 died in road accidents…..Veterans accounted for 9000 of those suicides, an eye-opening number given that our nation of more than 360 million people had just 22 million people who have worn a military uniform over the past fifty years. (p.274)
“You know, there were many times I’ve told my wife—in just a state of panic, and just being so upset—that I really wished I just died [in Iraq],” he told NPR. “Cause if you just die over there, everyone writes you off as a hero.” (p.188)
Retired admiral Mike Mullen said in an interview for this book that stigma was “embedded” deep within the culture of the military itself. (p.192)
PSTD - “I look at it as just like a physical injury” Major General David Blackledge said. (p. 201)
TAPS - Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (p.206)
“They say: We leave you our deaths. Give them their meaning.” a line from an Archibald MacLeish poem engraved on Fort Riley’s memorial wall for America’s fallen in Iraq and Afghanistan. (p.208)
“The most important thing about caring for a family who loses someone to suicide is to treat them the same way as you would if their loved one had died of a car wreck, drowning, cancer, or a heart attack.” Carol Graham (p.211)
Fourteen Fort Carson troops would eventually be linked to eleven killings or attempted killings between 2005 and 2008, far and away the most violent crimes ever committed by soldiers from a single base over such a short period. (p.225)
“In the short expanse of nine months, Mark and Carol lost both their sons, and Melanie lost her brothers,” Rodriguez said. “You and Carol took this loss and transformed it into hope for so many others.” (p.265)
In 2011, his final full year in uniform, 278 soldiers took their own lives. In 2012, the year Mark said good-bye to the army he’d served for so long, a record 349 troops killed themselves, and the number of soldiers who died to suicide exceeded those killed in combat for the first time. (p.266)
In July 2011, President Obama announced that he would begin sending condolence letters to the families of groups, who killed themselves in Iraq or Afghanistan. …. He said, “This issue is emotional, painful, and complicated, but these Americans served our nation bravely. They didn’t die because they were weak. And the fact that they didn’t get the help they needed must change.” (p.271)
More people take their own lives than die in car crashes, a vivid illustration of the skyrocketing civilian suicide rate. In 2010, the most recent year for which official data is available, 38,364 people took their own lives, while 33,687 died in road accidents…..Veterans accounted for 9000 of those suicides, an eye-opening number given that our nation of more than 360 million people had just 22 million people who have worn a military uniform over the past fifty years. (p.274)
Read
July 1, 2020After struggling immensely with my mental health over the past few years, I hit a relatively low point a few weeks ago where my thoughts went to a pretty dark place. When I returned home for the weekend, my partner, a cadet in Eau Claire's ROTC program, gave me a book titled "The Invisible Front," asking that I read it to understand how she would feel if anything were to ever happen to me because of things going on in my mind. The book, which tells the story of the Graham family, details the loss of two of the family's three children. The first, Kevin, an ROTC member, committed suicide after a life-long struggle with depression and the stigma that surrounds it, and the other, Jeff, was lost to an IED in Iraq less than nine months after the death of his brother.
What becomes very clear as you read through The Invisible Front is a) the cultural stigmas that surround mental health in the United States, and b) the desperation felt by individuals who struggle with mental health crises and different forms of addiction. As someone who has had her fair share of battles with her own mental health and who continues to face the long-term effects of an addictive eating disorder, the latter of those two ideas really hit home with me. The book was first and foremost a reminder that no matter how irrelevant you may feel on a given day, the loss of your presence in the world will have a lasting and detrimental effect on the people in your life, extending beyond the realm of anything you imagine possible. The other thing the book allowed me to do was to look into the ways that I can help the students I interact with at MERC who have various mental health disorders and illnesses. Simply by listening and offering a compassionate ear to someone, you have the capability of enacting enormous change in their lives, if even only in the moment when they need someone to ask them to hold on for just one more day.
I cannot recommend this book enough. It makes you examine our priorities as a nation and ache for the individuals who suffer the ramifications of policies that we don't generally hear anything about in the public sphere.
What becomes very clear as you read through The Invisible Front is a) the cultural stigmas that surround mental health in the United States, and b) the desperation felt by individuals who struggle with mental health crises and different forms of addiction. As someone who has had her fair share of battles with her own mental health and who continues to face the long-term effects of an addictive eating disorder, the latter of those two ideas really hit home with me. The book was first and foremost a reminder that no matter how irrelevant you may feel on a given day, the loss of your presence in the world will have a lasting and detrimental effect on the people in your life, extending beyond the realm of anything you imagine possible. The other thing the book allowed me to do was to look into the ways that I can help the students I interact with at MERC who have various mental health disorders and illnesses. Simply by listening and offering a compassionate ear to someone, you have the capability of enacting enormous change in their lives, if even only in the moment when they need someone to ask them to hold on for just one more day.
I cannot recommend this book enough. It makes you examine our priorities as a nation and ache for the individuals who suffer the ramifications of policies that we don't generally hear anything about in the public sphere.
October 26, 2020
The begins with a listing of names of the people involved the story. It was important to make the book about people who found inn Iraq and those who waited for them to come home.
This lengthy book gives the reader a sense of a broad sweep of war. The intro plunges into the dangers that soldiers face apart from the enemy and the work of doctors who work on the mind as much as a body.
This book is about the “invisible” wound and it's worth the work of reading.
While at times the book goes into deep detail, it’s worth a read for the public and for the people in Washington who makes the decisions about sending soldiers to wars.
This lengthy book gives the reader a sense of a broad sweep of war. The intro plunges into the dangers that soldiers face apart from the enemy and the work of doctors who work on the mind as much as a body.
This book is about the “invisible” wound and it's worth the work of reading.
While at times the book goes into deep detail, it’s worth a read for the public and for the people in Washington who makes the decisions about sending soldiers to wars.
January 11, 2020
This is a deeply moving and detailed story of one family's loss of both their sons to war -- one in combat, and one by suicide -- and how the Army and the world varied in their responses based on the manner of their deaths. A difficult read, but recommended for those that can manage the heavy emotions therein.
July 7, 2019
Really good. Really really good. I cried often. Hierarchies and stigmas are suck. And the only way to cure it is by killing everybody. And that's not gonna happen.
So maybe like programs for emotional support and acceptance of other people being fucking different from you ya fucking sheep.
So maybe like programs for emotional support and acceptance of other people being fucking different from you ya fucking sheep.
March 21, 2023
Was good to re-read, though more of a memoir than I remembered; I thought there was more on approaches leaders took to prevent suicide.
Still, extra interesting to read it almost a decade later and see how much has (and hasn't) changed.
Still, extra interesting to read it almost a decade later and see how much has (and hasn't) changed.
August 4, 2019
Very moving.
March 4, 2021
I was one of the medics that treated some of the wounded mentioned in this book. It's very surreal to listen to another person's perspective of the same story.
October 16, 2016
This book would have been much more powerful if it were actually penned by Mark or Carol Graham or their daughter. While Dreazen does a great job of telling the tale of the Grahams' lives and their struggles to change the military culture with respect to PTSD and suicide, the reportorial style he uses feels somewhat distant or disengaged. That said, I am glad he wrote the book to bring the military's issues out into the open. And I am grateful to the Grahams for the work they are doing.
October 11, 2016
The story of the Graham family is heartbreaking. This book is a must read and one I didn't want to put down. While I was aware of the mental health epidemic that is sweeping the nation I was not aware that it was so prevalent in the military. PTSD is a huge issue that needs to be addressed by not only our government but the military. It was heartbreaking to read the shame that people feel for wanting to seek help and not getting it because of the embarrassment they may face. I encourage everyone to read this book.
March 2, 2015
This review is also available on my blog, Read Till Dawn.
This is going to be a very tricky book to review, because I honestly don't know how to approach the material. This is probably the saddest nonfictional book I've reviewed yet, including The Family Romanov, which is literally subtitled "Murder, Rebellion, and the Fall of Imperial Russia."
The first half of The Invisible Front traces the Graham family all the way from Mark and Carol's early years of courtship and marriage through the death of both of their sons. The narration goes mainly in order, but skips around rather confusingly every once in a while. I would say that some of the level of detail is a bit excessive (meaning not all of it is strictly relevant to the topic of depression/suicide), but on the other hand it's a book about the Grahams as well as about depression and suicide in the army, so it's perfectly natural for the first half of the book to focus almost entirely on them.
Okay, about Jeff and Kevin Graham. I have to say that after reading about their personal lives, these are not the sort of people I would have been friends with if I met them in college. I don't drink, I don't party, and I don't sleep with people - all things that one, the other, or both Graham boys did with gusto. However, both of their deaths still hit me very hard, and I had tears in my eyes when their deaths were described (in detail - this book is not for the faint of heart). Lifestyle choices aside, they both sound like genuinely nice people who could have made the world a better place for a very long time if they hadn't died at such tragically young ages.
The second half of the book discusses depression and suicide in the army, citing anecdote after anecdote about real soldier who really attempted suicide - many of them succeeding. It also follows Mark's time working as general at a fort where he worked to implement techniques to decrease PTSD-related depression and suicide. I frankly would have preferred to read more about what Mark did than about all these random deaths and almost-deaths. It is definitely talked about, but Dreazen could have gone a lot deeper into talking about what worked, what didn't work, etc. I came away with a feeling of helplessness more than anything else; it didn't really feel like Mark did any good. Of course, standing back a step I see clearly that he saved many lives (likely more than he could have by going overseas), and I register the fact that his techniques have been implemented across the country. But while actually read the narrative, it felt a bit disjointed. I would have preferred to have the pieces placed together neatly in front of me, instead of scattered around for me to pick through and piece together.
Basically, that's the only flaw I can come up with: it's a bit disjointed. Besides that, there is really nothing I can possibly criticize. It's a book about suicide in the military, what is there to say? The only thing I can say is that it is incredibly tragic that the best and bravest of our nation are not given the proper mental care they need. They do and see unspeakable things in order to keep us, the citizens of America, safe. We need to ensure that when they come home, they will be greeted with proper medical care not just for their physical wounds, but their mental wounds as well.
Disclaimer: I received a complementary copy of this book through the Blogging for Books program in exchange for an honest review.
This is going to be a very tricky book to review, because I honestly don't know how to approach the material. This is probably the saddest nonfictional book I've reviewed yet, including The Family Romanov, which is literally subtitled "Murder, Rebellion, and the Fall of Imperial Russia."
The first half of The Invisible Front traces the Graham family all the way from Mark and Carol's early years of courtship and marriage through the death of both of their sons. The narration goes mainly in order, but skips around rather confusingly every once in a while. I would say that some of the level of detail is a bit excessive (meaning not all of it is strictly relevant to the topic of depression/suicide), but on the other hand it's a book about the Grahams as well as about depression and suicide in the army, so it's perfectly natural for the first half of the book to focus almost entirely on them.
Okay, about Jeff and Kevin Graham. I have to say that after reading about their personal lives, these are not the sort of people I would have been friends with if I met them in college. I don't drink, I don't party, and I don't sleep with people - all things that one, the other, or both Graham boys did with gusto. However, both of their deaths still hit me very hard, and I had tears in my eyes when their deaths were described (in detail - this book is not for the faint of heart). Lifestyle choices aside, they both sound like genuinely nice people who could have made the world a better place for a very long time if they hadn't died at such tragically young ages.
The second half of the book discusses depression and suicide in the army, citing anecdote after anecdote about real soldier who really attempted suicide - many of them succeeding. It also follows Mark's time working as general at a fort where he worked to implement techniques to decrease PTSD-related depression and suicide. I frankly would have preferred to read more about what Mark did than about all these random deaths and almost-deaths. It is definitely talked about, but Dreazen could have gone a lot deeper into talking about what worked, what didn't work, etc. I came away with a feeling of helplessness more than anything else; it didn't really feel like Mark did any good. Of course, standing back a step I see clearly that he saved many lives (likely more than he could have by going overseas), and I register the fact that his techniques have been implemented across the country. But while actually read the narrative, it felt a bit disjointed. I would have preferred to have the pieces placed together neatly in front of me, instead of scattered around for me to pick through and piece together.
Basically, that's the only flaw I can come up with: it's a bit disjointed. Besides that, there is really nothing I can possibly criticize. It's a book about suicide in the military, what is there to say? The only thing I can say is that it is incredibly tragic that the best and bravest of our nation are not given the proper mental care they need. They do and see unspeakable things in order to keep us, the citizens of America, safe. We need to ensure that when they come home, they will be greeted with proper medical care not just for their physical wounds, but their mental wounds as well.
Disclaimer: I received a complementary copy of this book through the Blogging for Books program in exchange for an honest review.
September 26, 2014
Copy received through Goodreads’ First Reads program.
This is an incredibly powerful and visceral look at one military family (the Grahams) and the treatment of mental health issues in the military generally. The Grahams were military lifers: the father, Mark, rose to the rank of Major General and took a seemingly endless series of positions all over the world, and his two sons, Jeff and Kevin, both sought to follow in his footsteps. In a heartbreaking turn of events, the Grahams lost both of their sons in the course of nine months: Kevin hung himself, and Jeff was killed in combat in Iraq, seconds after warning his fellow soldiers about the IED that took his life. The military, friends, and relatives all treated the deaths so differently - Jeff was often lauded as a hero, his death made front page news and his funeral was full of teary, respectful attendees, while even their own relatives condemned Kevin (who was a star ROTC cadet) as a sinner or a weakling.
Eventually, Mark and his wife, Carol, began addressing this double standard, and worked to make mental health treatment more available to the increasing number of soldiers who developed PTSD or suicidal ideations, and to remove the stigma such treatment has in a military setting. It’s a bleak picture: mental health treatment can effectively end a soldier’s career, can cause other soldiers and superiors to isolate an individual for being weak or feigning injury, and can lead to a dishonorable discharge where the army refuses to cover any future medical care. Even if one could come over all those stigmas and threats, there are often so few psychologists on staff that it could take months just for an initial appointment. Suicide rates in the military have skyrocketed over the past several years, and Yochi Dreazen, an experienced military reporter, uses the story of the Graham family to look deeper into the reasons for this, and the treatment of mental health issues in the military.
Dreazen is a talented writer who captures the Graham family in a series of vignettes, small moments dating all the way back to Mark and Carol meeting in college and raising their three children (they also have a daughter, Melanie) through a series of difficult relocations. The Grahams were very open and honest with Dreazen about everything, including the pain, shame, and self-recrimination they all felt after Kevin’s suicide (for example, Melanie admits that she sometimes tells people she just had one brother, because she doesn’t know how to talk about Kevin, or how others will react). Even though you know from the outset what’s going to happen to Jeff and Kevin, Dreazen makes them so alive and full of promise that you can’t help but hope for some other outcome. A remarkably well-written and often heartbreaking book.
This is an incredibly powerful and visceral look at one military family (the Grahams) and the treatment of mental health issues in the military generally. The Grahams were military lifers: the father, Mark, rose to the rank of Major General and took a seemingly endless series of positions all over the world, and his two sons, Jeff and Kevin, both sought to follow in his footsteps. In a heartbreaking turn of events, the Grahams lost both of their sons in the course of nine months: Kevin hung himself, and Jeff was killed in combat in Iraq, seconds after warning his fellow soldiers about the IED that took his life. The military, friends, and relatives all treated the deaths so differently - Jeff was often lauded as a hero, his death made front page news and his funeral was full of teary, respectful attendees, while even their own relatives condemned Kevin (who was a star ROTC cadet) as a sinner or a weakling.
Eventually, Mark and his wife, Carol, began addressing this double standard, and worked to make mental health treatment more available to the increasing number of soldiers who developed PTSD or suicidal ideations, and to remove the stigma such treatment has in a military setting. It’s a bleak picture: mental health treatment can effectively end a soldier’s career, can cause other soldiers and superiors to isolate an individual for being weak or feigning injury, and can lead to a dishonorable discharge where the army refuses to cover any future medical care. Even if one could come over all those stigmas and threats, there are often so few psychologists on staff that it could take months just for an initial appointment. Suicide rates in the military have skyrocketed over the past several years, and Yochi Dreazen, an experienced military reporter, uses the story of the Graham family to look deeper into the reasons for this, and the treatment of mental health issues in the military.
Dreazen is a talented writer who captures the Graham family in a series of vignettes, small moments dating all the way back to Mark and Carol meeting in college and raising their three children (they also have a daughter, Melanie) through a series of difficult relocations. The Grahams were very open and honest with Dreazen about everything, including the pain, shame, and self-recrimination they all felt after Kevin’s suicide (for example, Melanie admits that she sometimes tells people she just had one brother, because she doesn’t know how to talk about Kevin, or how others will react). Even though you know from the outset what’s going to happen to Jeff and Kevin, Dreazen makes them so alive and full of promise that you can’t help but hope for some other outcome. A remarkably well-written and often heartbreaking book.
February 2, 2015
The Invisible Front is a book to make time for. It concerns a still unfolding and devastating chapter in the history of our country's armed forces. The author has written a consciousness-raising chronicle of the experience of one military family, a family that continues to serve this country in sharing their painful story and working to create change in how the military treats soldiers with mental illness and who commit suicide.
Retired major general Mark Graham and his wife Carol are parents to three children--two boys, Kevin and Jeff, and a daughter, Melanie. Although there are many affecting stories thought this book, the Graham's is its heart. Kevin committed suicide shortly after graduating from an ROTC program. Less than nine months later, Jeff was killed by an IED while on a tour in Iraq. The military's treatment of their sons' deaths in their wake made the Grahams sensitive to the ways in which it is especially difficult for men and women in uniform with mental health wounds to seek and receive treatment and the losses that result from this difficulty. They have worked ever since to make a difference in the lives of soldiers suffering from mental health illnesses, particularly PTSD, and to prevent suicide in the military, and mitigate the stigma surrounding both.
The author is their equal in bringing their story to a wider audience. He has written a strong narrative well-anchored in multiple stories that demonstrate the scope of the issue and its many facets. The hierarchical world of the military is foreign to many, to say nothing of the often hidden world of mental illness. He has made them both accessible to the civilian and lay person. The sensitivity and care of his reporting is evident throughout. (Both qualities are also evident, incidentally, in his beautifully written acknowledgements.)
One of the epigraphs of this important book comes from Archibald MacLeish's "The Young Dead Soldiers" and reads,
"They say, Our deaths are not ours; they are yours;
they will mean what you make them."
The Grahams have imbued their twin losses with tremendous meaning. Their work is a loving testament to their love for their sons and the commitment they share with Kevin and Jeff to serving their country.
Retired major general Mark Graham and his wife Carol are parents to three children--two boys, Kevin and Jeff, and a daughter, Melanie. Although there are many affecting stories thought this book, the Graham's is its heart. Kevin committed suicide shortly after graduating from an ROTC program. Less than nine months later, Jeff was killed by an IED while on a tour in Iraq. The military's treatment of their sons' deaths in their wake made the Grahams sensitive to the ways in which it is especially difficult for men and women in uniform with mental health wounds to seek and receive treatment and the losses that result from this difficulty. They have worked ever since to make a difference in the lives of soldiers suffering from mental health illnesses, particularly PTSD, and to prevent suicide in the military, and mitigate the stigma surrounding both.
The author is their equal in bringing their story to a wider audience. He has written a strong narrative well-anchored in multiple stories that demonstrate the scope of the issue and its many facets. The hierarchical world of the military is foreign to many, to say nothing of the often hidden world of mental illness. He has made them both accessible to the civilian and lay person. The sensitivity and care of his reporting is evident throughout. (Both qualities are also evident, incidentally, in his beautifully written acknowledgements.)
One of the epigraphs of this important book comes from Archibald MacLeish's "The Young Dead Soldiers" and reads,
"They say, Our deaths are not ours; they are yours;
they will mean what you make them."
The Grahams have imbued their twin losses with tremendous meaning. Their work is a loving testament to their love for their sons and the commitment they share with Kevin and Jeff to serving their country.
July 25, 2015
"By 2012, more soldiers were dying by their own hand than in combat. Suicide effectively became the army's third war, and it was a conflict the military was singularly ill prepared to fight. Decades of chronic underfunding meant that the Pentagon had thousands of unfilled slots for psychologists and psychiatrists when the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan began.
...
The soldiers who even bothered to reach out for help were very much the exception. Many troubled troops, no matter how severe their PTSD, tried to hide the symptoms from their fellow soldiers. The primary message they absorbed in basic training, ROTC, and military academies such as West Point was that mental illness was a sign of weakness, and that weak soldiers had no place in the army."
While tackling a serious and terrible issue - untreated PTSD and suicides in the military - I ultimately found this book unfocused and poorly structured.
A good three-quarters of the book is a portrait of the Graham family. General Mark Graham, who became an advocate on mental health issues within the military, had two sons: Kevin, who suffered from depression and killed himself during college, and Jeff, who was killed in an IED explosion while serving in Iraq. My heart goes out to the family, but note that neither Jeff’s nor Kevin’s stories are directly on point to the author’s subject.
This was frustrating because there were so many stories mentioned in the book that *were* on point, but were underdeveloped. General David Blackledge, for example, who went public with his own story of PTSD and its aftereffects. I would also have liked to see more from the perspective of the medical personnel treating these soliders.
Sexual assault in the military, a widespread problem and a cause of both PTSD and suicide, rated only a few rushed pages of coverage near the end. In fact, the author spent more time describing Mark Graham's daughter's wedding.
In the end, I got about a long article's worth of content on the subject I came to this book to learn about. I expected more.
(Note: My review relates purely to the book, and is not meant to be a comment on the issues or the Graham family.)
September 18, 2014
This book is a nonfictional work looking into suicide and mental health issues in the military. It mainly looks at the issues by focusing on one family the Grahams. Mark Graham is a military officer whose two sons decide they want careers in the military similar to their father. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes the family twice as one son commits suicide while in an Army ROTC program and the other dies in Iraq. The family is shaken by both deaths and also by the different way people respond to the death of their son in combat as compared to the death of their other son by suicide. This leads both Mark and his wife Carol to work towards improving the treatment soldiers suffering from PTSD receive and also working to support families of those who have lost children to suicide.
I think this is really important subject matter to bring to light. The book looks at multiple facets of the problem from the hardships soldiers in combat zones endure that can leads to PTSD as well as the stigma of mental illness in the military and some of the cultural issues as well as staffing problems that prevent soldiers from getting the help that they need. In addition to the Graham family's story shorter stories are told of other military members and their families that were affected by suicide or other consequences of PTSD.
The book tries to relay to the readers the issues of mental health treatment in the military in an engaging and novelesque form instead of simply citing facts and figures. For the most part it succeeds in this even though there are certainly parts of the book that are more reporting then story telling, including the use of direct quotations at times and of course the citing of some facts and figures. It also at times seems as if the author is trying to get a lot of information in (this book is exceptionally well researched) but doesn't really know how to do so in a cohesive manner so there are time when the flow is a little disrupted. However, as a whole it really is a great and informative read that will break your heart.
Please note I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
I think this is really important subject matter to bring to light. The book looks at multiple facets of the problem from the hardships soldiers in combat zones endure that can leads to PTSD as well as the stigma of mental illness in the military and some of the cultural issues as well as staffing problems that prevent soldiers from getting the help that they need. In addition to the Graham family's story shorter stories are told of other military members and their families that were affected by suicide or other consequences of PTSD.
The book tries to relay to the readers the issues of mental health treatment in the military in an engaging and novelesque form instead of simply citing facts and figures. For the most part it succeeds in this even though there are certainly parts of the book that are more reporting then story telling, including the use of direct quotations at times and of course the citing of some facts and figures. It also at times seems as if the author is trying to get a lot of information in (this book is exceptionally well researched) but doesn't really know how to do so in a cohesive manner so there are time when the flow is a little disrupted. However, as a whole it really is a great and informative read that will break your heart.
Please note I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
October 7, 2014
Mark Graham and his wife, Carol, lived an idyllic, if itinerant, life as an Army family. The charmed couple had three children, two boys and a girl. But tragedy struck after the two boys followed their father into the military: within nine months' time, their younger son Kevin killed himself while a college student and ROTC cadet, while older son Jeff was killed while deployed to Iraq.
Because of the different nature of their two sons' deaths, it becomes clear to the Grahams how differently -- and shabbily -- the military, and even the public, treats the so-called "cowards" who take their own lives, as opposed to the "heroes" who die in combat. Major General Graham and his wife make it their life's mission to educate the public about the pervasive culture of the military that makes it hard to identify and treat depression and anxiety, traumatic brain injury and post traumatic stress disorder. Not only that, but they aim to change the deeply engrained culture of the military itself, a rigid one that stigmatizes anyone who struggles with these demons.
Author Yochi Dreazen follows the family's story from its beginnings until the present. Through their story, and the stories of other military members who kill themselves or attempt to, the author paints a damning picture of the military's response to this growing epidemic of hopelessness and despair.
In Kevin's case, the military can't be entirely vilified. Mental health issues plagued both sides of the Graham family, predisposing Kevin to bouts of depression. Mental health treatment was available to Kevin and he had made an attempt to get help. After his suicide, the family's religious beliefs had more to do with his treatment than the military. Giving in to family pressure, the Grahams held his funeral at a funeral home rather than a church, because of their belief that suicide is a mortal sin. But Kevin's case, if not a straightforward tale of military malfeasance, is only one of thousands of military suicides, and Mr. Dreazen amply demonstrates the military's callous attitude toward those who struggle, and its inadequate medical and psychological resources.
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Because of the different nature of their two sons' deaths, it becomes clear to the Grahams how differently -- and shabbily -- the military, and even the public, treats the so-called "cowards" who take their own lives, as opposed to the "heroes" who die in combat. Major General Graham and his wife make it their life's mission to educate the public about the pervasive culture of the military that makes it hard to identify and treat depression and anxiety, traumatic brain injury and post traumatic stress disorder. Not only that, but they aim to change the deeply engrained culture of the military itself, a rigid one that stigmatizes anyone who struggles with these demons.
Author Yochi Dreazen follows the family's story from its beginnings until the present. Through their story, and the stories of other military members who kill themselves or attempt to, the author paints a damning picture of the military's response to this growing epidemic of hopelessness and despair.
In Kevin's case, the military can't be entirely vilified. Mental health issues plagued both sides of the Graham family, predisposing Kevin to bouts of depression. Mental health treatment was available to Kevin and he had made an attempt to get help. After his suicide, the family's religious beliefs had more to do with his treatment than the military. Giving in to family pressure, the Grahams held his funeral at a funeral home rather than a church, because of their belief that suicide is a mortal sin. But Kevin's case, if not a straightforward tale of military malfeasance, is only one of thousands of military suicides, and Mr. Dreazen amply demonstrates the military's callous attitude toward those who struggle, and its inadequate medical and psychological resources.
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November 11, 2014
Dreazen’s long-form examination of military death brings forward the terrible experiences of soldiers in peacetime as well as in wartime through the experiential lens of one family—the Grahams of Louisville, KY. The Grahams are a traditional American family. Hardworking and loyal, they are also troubled by “extensive, if unspoken…histories of depression and suicide.” In other words: completely typical. Mark, the patriarch, became a two-star Army general; Carol is a dutiful, supportive wife. Middle child Kevin committed suicide while in the ROTC in June of 2003, afraid that his superiors would disdain his clinical depression. Nine months later, eldest son Jeffrey was killed by an IED while on patrol in Iraq. The two deaths shattered the family and also exemplify the armed forces’ struggle with labels like hero and coward. Jeffrey was rightly hailed as a hero (he saved lives as he died); Kevin’s death was ignored by the military and even swept under the carpet by the family. Only through massive soul-searching could the Grahams grow to a point where they could work to bring wider recognition to the difficulties soldiers such as Kevin face in seeking help. Dreazen draws on the Grahams’ experiences, intertwining them with the more general experience of soldiers to show readers the callousness and neglect typical of the military toward those who have volunteered and sacrificed. The writing is excellent: economical, clear, and descriptive but not dramatic or exaggerated, effectively sprinkling in distressing statistics such as that 2009 was “the first year that the percentage of troops who took their own lives was higher than the percentage of civilians who did so.” VERDICT Well written, compassionate, factual, this title puts a very brave face on military families affected by suicide, PTSD, mental illness, and the stigma of obtaining help.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.
August 30, 2014
Goodreads First Reads Giveaway Book.
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The Invisible Front: Love and Loss in an Era of Endless War is a compassionate and engaging story of one family's tragedy, demonstrating the burdens shouldered by military families and the military’s resistance for meaningful changes involving suicide and mental health issues in the military.
This story revolves around that of the Grahams, focusing upon the deaths of the two sons, one to suicide and the other in combat, both deaths treated differently by the media and friends, both deaths absolutely traumatic to the family.
Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) isn’t new as it’s been around ever since we have had wars throughout history. Culture is important in the military, and changes aren’t very quick. As demonstrated almost a century ago when Lieutenant General Patton slapped Private Kuhl in August of 1943 and publically humiliated him, calling him a “gutless bastard” and slapping him, all known by his chain of command, who tried to hide the situation under the carpet, treatment for PTS has improved, but only slightly in the last hundred years.
The author, Yochi J. Dreazen, is a journalist, being the managing editor of Foreign Policy, one of the most respected military journalists in the country, and has covered the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan for The Wall Street Journal. He thoroughly researched the material and presented it in easy-to-understand language that anyone, including those without military experience, can understand.
The Invisible Front is a must read for anyone with family or friends in the military, which will provide them with valuable information regarding unnecessary losses that don’t appear on the front page of the newspapers or in the evening news.
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The Invisible Front: Love and Loss in an Era of Endless War is a compassionate and engaging story of one family's tragedy, demonstrating the burdens shouldered by military families and the military’s resistance for meaningful changes involving suicide and mental health issues in the military.
This story revolves around that of the Grahams, focusing upon the deaths of the two sons, one to suicide and the other in combat, both deaths treated differently by the media and friends, both deaths absolutely traumatic to the family.
Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) isn’t new as it’s been around ever since we have had wars throughout history. Culture is important in the military, and changes aren’t very quick. As demonstrated almost a century ago when Lieutenant General Patton slapped Private Kuhl in August of 1943 and publically humiliated him, calling him a “gutless bastard” and slapping him, all known by his chain of command, who tried to hide the situation under the carpet, treatment for PTS has improved, but only slightly in the last hundred years.
The author, Yochi J. Dreazen, is a journalist, being the managing editor of Foreign Policy, one of the most respected military journalists in the country, and has covered the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan for The Wall Street Journal. He thoroughly researched the material and presented it in easy-to-understand language that anyone, including those without military experience, can understand.
The Invisible Front is a must read for anyone with family or friends in the military, which will provide them with valuable information regarding unnecessary losses that don’t appear on the front page of the newspapers or in the evening news.
October 11, 2014
I received this book for free through Goodreads' First Reads.
The Invisible Front tells the story of the Graham family, which lost 2 sons, one to suicide and the other to the war in Iraq. We learn about how Carol and Mark Graham meet and a bit about their family histories,including elements of mental illness. Mark Graham quickly rises in the military and his two sons, especially the oldest, Jeff, seem to want to follow suit. Kevin, the younger of the two, is sensitive and has struggled with bouts of "moodiness." Both go to college and join ROTC. Kevin suffers from depression and is afraid if that information is exposed, he will not be able to pursue a military career. He ends up killing himself, his younger sister finding him in the apartment they shared. Less than a year later, Jeff is killed in action while serving in Iraq.
While The Invisible Front is about the Graham family, it's also about the military's response to mental illness in the military. Many soldiers come back from war very different people and the military doesn't seem to be doing enough to address that. Mark Graham, who has continued to rise in the military, tries to use his position to do something about that, but is often met with resistance.
I enjoyed this book, but found it a bit disorganized. We read about other soldiers who have battled depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc., but that information is interspersed throughout the book. If there had been better organization, I think I would have liked the book more. It occasionally seemed to jump from one thing to another and may have been too ambitious. Towards the end, the author talks about sexual assault in the military. This is a major problem, but is not fully addressed and seems worthy of its own book.
All in all, this was an interesting read and gave me even greater respect for those who serve.
The Invisible Front tells the story of the Graham family, which lost 2 sons, one to suicide and the other to the war in Iraq. We learn about how Carol and Mark Graham meet and a bit about their family histories,including elements of mental illness. Mark Graham quickly rises in the military and his two sons, especially the oldest, Jeff, seem to want to follow suit. Kevin, the younger of the two, is sensitive and has struggled with bouts of "moodiness." Both go to college and join ROTC. Kevin suffers from depression and is afraid if that information is exposed, he will not be able to pursue a military career. He ends up killing himself, his younger sister finding him in the apartment they shared. Less than a year later, Jeff is killed in action while serving in Iraq.
While The Invisible Front is about the Graham family, it's also about the military's response to mental illness in the military. Many soldiers come back from war very different people and the military doesn't seem to be doing enough to address that. Mark Graham, who has continued to rise in the military, tries to use his position to do something about that, but is often met with resistance.
I enjoyed this book, but found it a bit disorganized. We read about other soldiers who have battled depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc., but that information is interspersed throughout the book. If there had been better organization, I think I would have liked the book more. It occasionally seemed to jump from one thing to another and may have been too ambitious. Towards the end, the author talks about sexual assault in the military. This is a major problem, but is not fully addressed and seems worthy of its own book.
All in all, this was an interesting read and gave me even greater respect for those who serve.
February 14, 2015
This a powerful, forceful true story of Mark and Carol Graham and the loss of their two sons. Mark is a decorated major general and his wife, Carol is a former school teacher. Their family consists of two boys, Jeff and Kevin, and a girl, Melanie. They are close knit, made closer because Mark is a career officer and they follow him around the world. Both of his sons aspire be like their father and join the military. The family appears well balanced but Kevin harbors a dark secret which comes to light when he enters college and is in the ROTC. He is depressed and has a drinking problem. He seeks help and begins taking antidepressants but he knows that if his commanding officer finds out, he will be dismissed from the military. Not knowing where to turn, he commits suicide. Eight months later, Jeff is killed in combat while serving in Iraq. Jeff is hailed as a hero but Kevin’s death is largely ignored. This story documents the Grahams’ fight to educate people on the growing problem of suicide in all branches of the armed services.
Mr. Dreazen has written this story from numerous interviews and journals from family members who are involved in each of the tragic instances outlined in the book. He documents the Grahams’ grief and their struggle to bring light to the growing suicide epidemic and the stigmatism that is attached to it in the armed forces. This is a difficult story but using this method, he presents the facts in such a way that you want to keep reading. The information offered is educational and is something that was little known to the general public until recent years.
I highly recommend this book, although it is heartbreaking to read!! Suicide is running rampant through the armed forces and the public needs to become more informed about this serious threat to the men and women who lay down their lives every day for our freedom.
Mr. Dreazen has written this story from numerous interviews and journals from family members who are involved in each of the tragic instances outlined in the book. He documents the Grahams’ grief and their struggle to bring light to the growing suicide epidemic and the stigmatism that is attached to it in the armed forces. This is a difficult story but using this method, he presents the facts in such a way that you want to keep reading. The information offered is educational and is something that was little known to the general public until recent years.
I highly recommend this book, although it is heartbreaking to read!! Suicide is running rampant through the armed forces and the public needs to become more informed about this serious threat to the men and women who lay down their lives every day for our freedom.
July 4, 2015
I received this book as a preview from Goodreads giveaways.
I would make this book a must read for anyone who has ever had a family member in the military or thinking about going into the military. This is also a book for families who have dealt with suicide. This family is something we should all strive to be, and be willing to give the support to those who need it when they need it. A phenomenal book about military reform in an era of continuous war.
The Graham family endures the loss of two sons within a 9 month period of time. Through their loss, they also discovered the immense difference between a child killed during wartime conflict and one who commits suicide. Though both boys were involved in the military, the difference in the way family and friends handle their condolences is a shocking realization that lead them on a mission to change the way the military would treat depression and PTSD for years to come.
This book contains many graphic but necessary stories which help the reader understand how the military had to change the way it handled treatment of psychological scars. Emotional damage is just a real to veterans as coming home missing a limb and can continue for years if not forever. These emotional scars affect not just the veteran but the family and friends of the vet. Through the stories and statistics, the author explains why the reforms that the Graham family started were so necessary. These reforms, though they would not bring their sons back, they would help families across the United States and get help for veterans who might not have sought it out before the reform process started.
This is a must read and a staple book in any library high school level and up. An extremely eye opening experience!
I would make this book a must read for anyone who has ever had a family member in the military or thinking about going into the military. This is also a book for families who have dealt with suicide. This family is something we should all strive to be, and be willing to give the support to those who need it when they need it. A phenomenal book about military reform in an era of continuous war.
The Graham family endures the loss of two sons within a 9 month period of time. Through their loss, they also discovered the immense difference between a child killed during wartime conflict and one who commits suicide. Though both boys were involved in the military, the difference in the way family and friends handle their condolences is a shocking realization that lead them on a mission to change the way the military would treat depression and PTSD for years to come.
This book contains many graphic but necessary stories which help the reader understand how the military had to change the way it handled treatment of psychological scars. Emotional damage is just a real to veterans as coming home missing a limb and can continue for years if not forever. These emotional scars affect not just the veteran but the family and friends of the vet. Through the stories and statistics, the author explains why the reforms that the Graham family started were so necessary. These reforms, though they would not bring their sons back, they would help families across the United States and get help for veterans who might not have sought it out before the reform process started.
This is a must read and a staple book in any library high school level and up. An extremely eye opening experience!
August 13, 2016
Yochi Dreazen, a military journalist, here tells the story of Major General Mark Graham and his wife Carol, a teacher, who lost both their sons during the early stages of Iraq War--Kevin to suicide while he was still a ROTC cadet and then Kevin's older brother Jeff to patrol duty in Iraq's Anbar Province.
Dreazen is concerned primarily with the horrifying effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on service men and women, but he also draws attention to its less publicized occurrence in civilian life, especially during the first decade and a half of the present century.
PTSD is often considered a term referring to the aftermath of traumatic incidents like sexual assault, a violent death or the repeated horrors of war. The story told in this book about the Grahams' younger son, Kevin, suggests that this disorder may also arise from prolonged exposure to an institutional atmosphere that runs counter to an individual's identity. Socially important institutions other than the military--governmental agencies, educational institutions, business firms, even religious organizations--may also have cultures that slowly erode the very self of persons unsuited for them and may eventually produce deep depression. Its signs include substance abuse, sleeplessness, chronic tiredness, a sapping of motivation and increasing isolation. The social stigmatizing of these symptoms, on the other hand, can result in the irreversible extinction of personality by suicide.
Mark and Carol Graham have worked hard to temper their losses by encouraging the military to move toward compassion for those suffering from PTSD and depression. and the good news is that similar efforts like Walks to Prevent Suicide are now being made in society generally.
Dreazen is concerned primarily with the horrifying effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on service men and women, but he also draws attention to its less publicized occurrence in civilian life, especially during the first decade and a half of the present century.
PTSD is often considered a term referring to the aftermath of traumatic incidents like sexual assault, a violent death or the repeated horrors of war. The story told in this book about the Grahams' younger son, Kevin, suggests that this disorder may also arise from prolonged exposure to an institutional atmosphere that runs counter to an individual's identity. Socially important institutions other than the military--governmental agencies, educational institutions, business firms, even religious organizations--may also have cultures that slowly erode the very self of persons unsuited for them and may eventually produce deep depression. Its signs include substance abuse, sleeplessness, chronic tiredness, a sapping of motivation and increasing isolation. The social stigmatizing of these symptoms, on the other hand, can result in the irreversible extinction of personality by suicide.
Mark and Carol Graham have worked hard to temper their losses by encouraging the military to move toward compassion for those suffering from PTSD and depression. and the good news is that similar efforts like Walks to Prevent Suicide are now being made in society generally.
September 26, 2014
I received this book as part of Goodreads First-reads program.
The tale of Mark and Carol Graham and their son's Kevin and Jeff and daughter Melanie is a tale of what's wrong and what's right with America and it's military. Mark and Carol lost both of their sons within a year, one due to suicide and the other in Iraq. They made it their mission to help soldiers suffering from PTSD and depression to get the help they deserved.
This was a very large task in a system that punishes you for taking medication and expects you to "man up" when depressed. Soldiers were being bullied and called "sissies and cowards" when they were asking for help.
The story is much more than one family's story. There are numerous examples of other soldiers attempts at help resulting in suicide, murder and both. It's time we realize that mental health is a real issue and needs to be treated just as the physical ones are.
I was ashamed of our country and the way it has allowed soldiers to be ignored or bullied instead of getting the help they need. Thankfully, because of people like General Mark Graham and his wife Carol things are changing. The Obama Administration has followed through with what the Bush Administration started.
When a soldier confesses to his wife, "I wish I had died over there, then I would be a hero," you realize that this is everyone's fight and we need to follow through until in order that every soldier is helped and listened to in a timely manner in their time of need.
We owe them that. "This is the land of the free because they were the brave."
The tale of Mark and Carol Graham and their son's Kevin and Jeff and daughter Melanie is a tale of what's wrong and what's right with America and it's military. Mark and Carol lost both of their sons within a year, one due to suicide and the other in Iraq. They made it their mission to help soldiers suffering from PTSD and depression to get the help they deserved.
This was a very large task in a system that punishes you for taking medication and expects you to "man up" when depressed. Soldiers were being bullied and called "sissies and cowards" when they were asking for help.
The story is much more than one family's story. There are numerous examples of other soldiers attempts at help resulting in suicide, murder and both. It's time we realize that mental health is a real issue and needs to be treated just as the physical ones are.
I was ashamed of our country and the way it has allowed soldiers to be ignored or bullied instead of getting the help they need. Thankfully, because of people like General Mark Graham and his wife Carol things are changing. The Obama Administration has followed through with what the Bush Administration started.
When a soldier confesses to his wife, "I wish I had died over there, then I would be a hero," you realize that this is everyone's fight and we need to follow through until in order that every soldier is helped and listened to in a timely manner in their time of need.
We owe them that. "This is the land of the free because they were the brave."
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