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Private Property and Private Parts

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Librarian's note: This is an alternate cover edition for ASIN: B0090P1PEG.

Sam, an aspiring mystery writer with more than a few OCD tendencies, purchases a little home near the sea shore in Cape Cod, hoping to find his creative genius in the peaceful solitude. Peace and quiet isn't in the cards when one cool summer evening, a mysterious and gorgeous stranger named Will shows up on his doorstep with a delicious chocolate cake in hand and claims of ownership to the house.

Instant attraction sparks between the two, but there's one big roadblock in the way of a blossoming romance; the deed to the house.

The two young men fight, write, bake and make love in this novella-length story that will leave you laughing and perhaps craving a little confectionery.

123 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2009

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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
Profile Image for The Bursting Bookshelf of a Wallflower.
809 reviews153 followers
February 18, 2017
4 stars!

Sam, an aspiring mystery writer with more than a few OCD tendencies, purchases a little home in the country, hoping to find his creative genius in the peaceful solitude. Peace and quiet isn't in the cards when one cool summer evening, a mysterious and gorgeous stranger named Will shows up on his doorstep with a delicious chocolate cake and claiming ownership of the house.


I actually picked this book up for a challenge and I wasn't sure if I would be enjoying it. The blurb sounded intriguing, but the reviews mentioning that Private Property and Private Parts is a romantic comedy made me feel a little relucant considering that I'm usually not a big fan of comedy.

But Private Property and Private Parts has been absolutely hilarous - the characters, the awkward dialogues, the completely ridiculous actions! I just couldn't stop reading and I have been laughing a lot. Romantic comedy is definitly not a genre I would like to read on a regular basis, but sometimes it's just I think I might try more often!

I definitly adored Will and Sam!
Profile Image for Daisiemae.
425 reviews160 followers
October 13, 2010
I absolutely love it when I come across a book that tickles my funny bone. I had no idea that Private Property by Audra Beagle and Chloe West was going to be as humorous as it was. I admit that both authors are new to me, so I didn’t really know what to expect, but when I started reading it I knew pretty much from the first page that I was in for a treat!

Sam Kostas is a mystery writer who is suffering from severe writer’s block. He thought that buying an old Victorian home off the coast of Rhode Island would be just what he needed to clear his head and start his creative juices flowing again. Unfortunately for Sam, his plan hasn’t worked. About the time Sam is starting to get frustrated enough to chunk his old typewriter out the window, a mysterious and very beautiful man rings his doorbell carrying an old suitcase and a big chocolate cake.

Will Adler will almost resort to anything to get his family home back. He had been hoping to pass the peace pipe with his ex-wife and buy the his ancestral home from her. But, to his utter shock and horror, she’s sold the house out from under him to some crazy, rude, somewhat eccentric writer. Will knows he must do what he can to convince Sam to sell him back his home. When Sam won’t listen to him, Will decides he must do whatever it takes to get back his home.

What happens next is an every-man-for-himself-all-out-battle between two stubborn individuals. Both men go to extreme and often hilarious lengths to get own way. They just never thought they would fall in love with each other in the process.

I loved this book! It was so much fun to read. I started it last night and before I knew it I was reading the last page. The intense connection between Sam and Will starts out with a bang and never lets up until the last word. I loved watching their relationship revolve from feuding enemies, to reluctant friends and then developing into a deep love that neither man can deny.

Sam is not your typical hero. Yes, he’s gorgeous, but he’s cranky, more than a little self centered (at first) and took glee in making Will’s life miserable at times. Even though he has some very un-hero-like ways, I adored him. His somewhat anal retentive behaviors was a perfect match for the quirky and very beautiful Will. These men were very well matched and watching them come to terms with their attraction and feelings for each other was a wild ride. Whether Will and Sam are arguing, making love or even just talking; the passion between them amazed me. I loved their rapport and I adored the creative ways they came up with to get under each other’s skin.

Another great thing I loved about this book was the range of emotions I felt when I read it. Yes, it’s very funny, but it also has some very heartfelt and tender moments in it, too. Not only did I like the main characters, but I thought the secondary characters were as interesting and delightful as Will and Sam were. My only gripe is that I hated for it to end. I’m hoping that one of the secondary characters, Grant, will get his story as well.
Profile Image for Andrea AKA Catsos Person.
790 reviews107 followers
March 27, 2017
Three Strikes!

* I listened to the audiobook


3-Strikes:

1) Poor writing quality. Here's an example:

"The man was the complete opposite of Sam. While Sam was more solidly built and boyish, the man on Sam's doorstep was lean and feminine, almost willowy. The man was pale and dark, an attractive contrast, where Sam was dark all over. Sam’s olive toned skin complemented his short, wavy, brown hair and dark green eyes."
--Page 8

There are some challenges with use of pronouns when the gender combination in a romance is MM and probably FF too rather than MF.

Since I've been reading M/M romance, some authors are more adept than others with over coming the issue of use of pronouns so that there is no confusion between the same gender couple individuals. Sometimes I have in fact been confused.

The example above, the author avoids confusion of the two male MCs characters, by repetition of the phrase "the man" and "Sam." This is not good writing. I suggest that the author's put in the time to read M/M titles by some of the top authors in the genre--not for plagiarism, but to learn how to handle two MCs of the same gender.

2) Horribly edited audio with repetition of sentences like skip/scratches in a vinyl record (does anyone remember those?)

3) Subpar audio narration: The narrator Mark A. Child sounds like he's, well...reading. I don't like a narrator who "just" reads. I can read a book aloud myself without paying for an audiobook.


NTS: MMRG Ultimate Challenge, February 1, 2017 - January 31, 2018. February/March Bonus, state Rhode Island.
Profile Image for Kassa.
1,117 reviews112 followers
December 11, 2009
This fun and quirky story is a treat to read with a lot of humor and an engaging voice. Unfortunately, the quirky details overwhelm the story to a point of discomfort and there are several holes in the characters and plot itself. The sometimes awkward actions and dialogue start as charming but eventually become too much. Additionally the story ends with a tidy, happy ending and then there is a ten page explicit sex scene tacked onto the ending that serves almost no purpose but to have an erotica scene added. Overall this story is really humorous in spots, awkward and uncomfortable in others, but is easy, light, and mostly fun to read. If readers are looking for quick, forgettable fare with a good dose of humor this should easily fill that craving.

Sam Kostas is a frustrated writer. Although a New York Times Bestselling author, he moves to Rhode Island in hopes of breaking through his writer’s block. What he doesn’t expect is a man camping out on his doorstep and claiming to own the house. When Sam discovers Will lost his family home in a divorce settlement and it was sold to Sam before Will could re-buy it, Sam is caught between annoyance and sympathy. The more time Sam spends around Will, the more he realizes Will isn’t such a bad guy and the two might actually have something in common.

The plot is loosely based on Will’s attempt to annoy Sam into selling his family’s home back to him and Sam’s stubborn refusal to give in. Along the way, the two annoy, pester, and finally love each other in a cute, quirky, warring neighbors turned lovers theme. The dialogue is punchy and fast with several laugh out loud moments from the cake left outside to the intrusive shovel as a grumpy Sam narrates his frustration and hermiting tendencies through the story. There are a few too many quirks and cute nuances to the story though, turning two grown men in their twenties into a couple of boys at summer camp. From Will’s fuzzy slippers and bunny pajamas to Sam’s little dinosaur sheets, these details started to add up and become slightly disconcerting rather than the fun quirky aspect clearly intended.

Other problems along those lines are the lack of sexual knowledge either man has to the point they fumble through sex and often refer to their groins as “it” and have no idea what to do. Funny at first, when combined with the other details, this gives a very immature cast to the two men that rapidly becomes uncomfortable. Additionally the two men have very inconsistent characters. Sam is described as a twenty-four year old bestselling author who shuns the “fad” of technology. He doesn’t own a cell phone, DVD player, cable, or even a computer. He writes on a heavy, antique typewriter with custom ink. This doesn’t make any sense at all considering he wasn’t raised on an isolated farm and later he is described as having a severe aversion to anything antique. The book attempts to cast Sam as an old curmudgeon type which is completely at odds with his age and occupation.

Will is not much better, even with the focus on Sam for most of the story. Both Will and Sam claim several times they are not gay and never experience any desire for other men. Yet strangely they kiss several times spontaneously throughout the book and ultimately fall in love even though neither man actually admits he is gay. They are simply gay for each other without much thought or care. This left their relationship feeling just as awkward, yet the streak of romance and humor through the story helps with easy reading. Sam’s friend Grant offers little to the story and, with the ridiculous explanation about his smirk, would have been better off omitted entirely.

However, for all these problems, which would occasionally detract from the story, the humorous tone and fun voice keep the story moving and mostly enjoyable. The humor laced in the men’s various antics to annoy each other and the extended bits about the cakes Will makes does help entertain and engage the reader. The relationship between the two may be too easy but it’s without angst and overly dramatic actions which will likely please romance fans. The fumbling and awkward interlude is refreshing and interesting in a format usually given to multiple slick sex scenes. The characters, even with their problems, have classic appeal and more interest than most. For a fun, but imperfect, story about warring neighbors turned lovers, pick this up. You’ll likely laugh a lot and enjoy the ride.
Profile Image for Asynia.
278 reviews2 followers
March 23, 2017
Fun and easy to read. I thought that it would be more of a mystery in it, but it turned out that I got that wrong, it's on of the MCs, Sam, who's a mystery writer, not the authors of this book. Which was great news for me, since I really do not like mystery books.

Like I said, this was fun, but it was also heartwarming and by the end of it I was truly happy that the MCs had their HEA. I was a little unsure at the beginning how I felt about Sam, but during the book's progress I started to like both him and Will and I wanted them together as a couple.
Profile Image for Kari Gregg.
Author 30 books678 followers
February 25, 2010
Sam was cranky, crotchety & as the book progressed, increasingly (and endearingly) odd. Although he seems to be the more "normal" of the two at book's start, by book's end the reader should be disabused of that peculiar notion. Adored his obsession with the shovel. And crumbs!

Will has a bit of the too-good-to-be-true going on, but frankly, he'd need to be the essence of patience to tolerate Sam's less than stellar moments. (He's a total jerk and very un-hero-like, at times, especially at the beginning.) So it's all good.

I didn't expect to like this one as much a I did. Given how the book started, I was anticipating a comfort story and that's what I got -- but the tables were turned on who was hurting and who was the comforter. Fascinating. Looking forward to more from this author.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Rachel.
49 reviews1 follower
May 31, 2013
A humours read with a little too many awkward moments for my liking. I found myself cringing at moments and admittedly I skipped the awkward scene at the end of the book where Sam proclaims his love for Will at the grand opening of Wills business in front of everyone. I found it corny and embarrassing to read and also cringe worthy.
I wanted to slap Will at the start of the story when he just shows up and demands the house is his when Sam has bought it legally outright, I also wanted to slap Sam many times. (What's up with his talking to the shovel and crumbs in the bed phobia? Oh and the dinosaur bed sheets?)

Other then these few 'flaws' this is a quick and funny read that I will most likely forget as soon as start reading the next book in my list.
Profile Image for Td.
699 reviews
October 15, 2011
3.5
A fun, quick read that was all over the place. A bit too much and not enough. This book left me with the jitters like a caffeine overdose. Very funny in parts, frantic and hyper in others, sweet as well, a little angsty, kind of odd. I wanted it to slow down some and let me get to know the characters better. It wasn't that type of book though. With one of the Chapters titled "Mushy Shit" you know what to expect. :)
Profile Image for Lioness7.
563 reviews8 followers
March 8, 2017
This was an okay book. It was a quick read and had a decent amount of interest because I loved the location and house.

I just got tired of the way Sam acted and about have way through kinda got bored. I would still love to try another book by the author. I thought there was potential.
Profile Image for Donna.
3,314 reviews42 followers
February 12, 2017
I will admit that I am not a big movie/TV watcher... but this book was like watching a comedy of errors on the big screen! I grinned, I giggled and a couple of times I was practically rolling on the floor laughing... it was nice to read something that made me that happy for a change! ;D

I thought the story flowed very nicely and the writing style really worked for me! I am sure this isn't something that I would want to read day in and day out... but it will keep me grinning for a few days, so... job well done, Ms. Beagle! I am certainly going to see what else I can find by this author.
Profile Image for Corinne.
219 reviews6 followers
July 30, 2015
A cake, a rainstorm and a shovel...

This book was a fun, quirky and entertaining read from start to finish. It was aggravating in some places due to the stubborn nature of both characters, but it was an enjoyable aggravation. It hits your funny bone and then it hits your heart, and the ending was fantastic.

Sam has recently purchased an old Victorian home near the sea in the hopes of reigniting his creative spark. He’s a mystery writer who has hit a slump with a deadline looming. When Will shows up on his doorstep with the affirmation that the house is actually his, Sam’s crass and OCD nature don’t give Will any sympathy. Surprisingly, Will’s sudden interruption into Sam’s life jump-starts Sam’s creativity, but he refuses to give into Will’s ownership claims on the house.

Sam’s prickly nature, while not heartwarming, was believable and made for a unique character. Will had a few moments that made him feel like a kicked puppy, but he also had a few moments of victory over Sam that were hilarious. There are also a couple of fun side characters that helped to give the novel life and a side plot about Will’s past and hopes for his future. Throw in a few twists, a cake and a shovel, and you have an entertaining, all be it short, book.
Profile Image for Cindy.
1,159 reviews19 followers
July 27, 2015
This cute, quick read was a funny romp between two men who identify themselves as straight but can't fight their attraction while they are antagonizing each other. Their dialogue is witty and snarky and will make you laugh. The way they snipe and poke each other will definitely bring a smile to you.

Don't anticipate a sex fest based upon the blurb between these two. There is some sex but it's doesn't happen all the time.
Profile Image for kasjo_peja.
459 reviews4 followers
November 1, 2010
It was like a slapstick comedy. I'm not a big fan of this kind of humor, especially not in books. Surprisingly, what I liked about this book was the angsty part, when Sam was forced to do some soul searching and groveling. Apart from that, both characters were immature, irresponsible (sex!) and sometimes petty mean, so I didn't care much about either of them.
Profile Image for Violet.
557 reviews62 followers
June 16, 2014
I liked the book a lot, plot holes and all. And chocolate cake, and shovel talks (as in talking with a shovel). Characters are so sweet and uncomplicated and completely, utterly unrealistic, but somehow everything fits and I laughed out loud several times and clumsy drunk first time sex on dinosaur sheets was so so sweet.
Lovely. I want all the recipes. And the sequel would be nice.
Profile Image for Chris.
2,882 reviews208 followers
October 17, 2010
So-so m/m romance about an author with writer’s block who takes a hate to a guy who shows up on his doorstep, claiming the house is his. I found the three main characters annoying and wanted to slap them all. That never makes for a happy reading experience… for me, at least!
Profile Image for Dee.
748 reviews
gave-up-on
June 25, 2014
Returned to Audible. Stopped at the 1 hour mark. Narration was repetitious (a lot). Characters not likable (at least not to me). I don't understand what people see in it. Left unrated since I didn't finish book.
Profile Image for Indigo.
458 reviews27 followers
December 26, 2010
Cute as a button. Made me laugh and cry just a little bit A fun read.
Profile Image for Cookie Moretti.
Author 9 books176 followers
March 7, 2014
I absolutely adored Will and Sam. I laughed and smiled so much at their antics. They are so wrong yet so right for each other. Lol this book was a great read and I wish there was a book 2. *sigh*
Profile Image for Marc .
505 reviews50 followers
July 8, 2014
3.5

funny and heart-warming story told in a unique way. ;)
Profile Image for Jenn (not Lily).
4,730 reviews28 followers
December 22, 2016
2.75 stars -- both Sam and Will were a little annoying most of the way through the story, but it was still amusing...and the sex when they finally got to it was pretty hot.
Profile Image for Arlyn.
1,137 reviews86 followers
March 26, 2017
This read was just ok for me. It was cute and moderately entertaining but missed the mark for me in a few key areas.

The main characters, Sam and Will, were ridiculously silly and annoying but somehow managed to emerge as likable personalities at the end of the book. The premise of the plot and the development of the relationship between the two men was marginally plausible at best. Their "witty" banter was awkward and irritating just as often as it was humorous. A lot of the emotionally charged situations felt forced and fabricated and the subsequent dialogue fell flat. The sex scenes were clumsy and awkward but oddly enough, that made them some of the most relatable, realistic and endearing parts of the book.

That all said, the book ended on a good note for me as it left me feeling good with a smile on my face. For that reason alone, I would recommend this book for someone looking for a light-hearted, cute and fast read.
Profile Image for Straight Girl Goes Gay.
333 reviews
September 30, 2018
cover image

Hey, fellow smut lovers!
This book has its own episode on Straight Girl Goes Gay - a Vimeo on Demand web series.
Subscribe and watch here.

Everything contains spoilers! You have been warned :)

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