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The Reason: How I Discovered a Life Worth Living

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The day Lacey Sturm planned to kill herself was the day her grandmother forced her to go to church, a place Lacey thought was filled with hypocrites, fakers, and simpletons. The screaming match she had with her grandmother was the reason she went to church. What she found there was the Reason she is alive today.

With raw vulnerability, this hard rock princess tells her own story of physical abuse, drug use, suicide attempts, and more--and her ultimate salvation. She asks the hard questions so many young people are asking--Why am I here? Why am I empty? Why should I go on living?--showing readers that beyond the temporary highs and the soul-crushing lows there is a reason they exist and a purpose for their lives. She not only gives readers a peek down the rocky path that led her to become a vocalist in a popular hardcore band, but she shows them that the same God is guiding their steps today.

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2014

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1845 people want to read

About the author

Lacey Sturm

7 books307 followers
Lacey Sturm (née Mosley) is a mother, wife, writer, speaker, and musician. Originally the voice behind the platinum-selling international rock band Flyleaf, she is now a solo artist. But most of all, she is one of God's works of art, and she wants others to know and understand how special, how beautiful, how kaleidoscopically wonderful we are all made. Lacey speaks for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and its Rock the River events. She cofounded the Whosoever Movement and helped begin the RESET movement as one of their key speakers.

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5 stars
1,145 (58%)
4 stars
504 (25%)
3 stars
236 (11%)
2 stars
67 (3%)
1 star
21 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 253 reviews
Profile Image for Matthew McKenna.
130 reviews21 followers
November 13, 2015
I try to read stuff like this periodically in an attempt to understand how the other half lives. It has yet to really shed any light on the subject for me. I have nothing against religious people in general or the author. I think she’s a very talented musician and a very thoughtful and decent human being.

That said, I didn’t see anything new or particularly insightful about this story. It’s the same story I’ve read many times.

I have to say that it does bother me that she ended her romance with a woman just because someone told her god said it was wrong. They didn’t even have to give a rational explanation as to why it was wrong, she just accepted it because she was told to. That just made me really sad for her and people like her.

But, none of this stuff makes any sense to me at all and I’m alright with that.

Believe what you will, but don’t just completely stop thinking for yourself.
Profile Image for Dan Arndt.
Author 1 book5 followers
October 4, 2014
This book was amazing! I had heard different parts of Lacey's story from the various testimonies she gave as the lead singer of the band Flyleaf. Her story touched me because I, too, had a difficult past with depression, a hatred of God/Christians/Anyone who was happy, and suicide. After hearing more of her story at a recent Billy Graham event here in my home town, I purchased her book. I couldn't put it down. Her life is truly inspiring. While I've only been a "True" believer in Christ for a short time, I can understand everything she points out in her book. Lacey is a gift to the world and I can only pray that her book reaches the hands of those that need to hear her story. Lacey states that there is a Reason for everyone to be alive. Our gifts can help others. This book has inspired me to continue on my own journey as a writer and teacher - to keep faith and hope - and to truly know that God has a specific reason to keep me alive by helping others. Thank you Lacey for telling your story!
Profile Image for Jonathan Anderson.
227 reviews7 followers
June 5, 2018
When I was the farthest from God I've ever been, I would throw CDs that people had given me away if I found it was Christian music...except for Flyleaf. It was impossible to deny the power that band had, largely because of Lacey Moseley (at the time) and her extraordinary screams. When she left, I was heartbroken, in large part because I wasn't sure if/when she would pop up again and I knew the world needed more people like her.

It does my heart good to see her come back with such a lovely, powerful book. Lacey's truly not done changing lives, thank the Lord for that.

Sidenote: As a man who came to God because of Brian "Head" Welch's book, testimony, and music, I was thrilled to read his foreword. Love you Head, hope to see you again sooner rather than later.
Profile Image for Hannah.
2,753 reviews1,432 followers
August 16, 2017
I'm highly impressed with this story. I saw this book on the Mardel bargain shelf and simply couldn't leave it behind. I think I instinctively knew is was going to be a winner of a book. I don't care for hard rock music, but I do love a good, inspiring testimony, and Lacey's testimony is so great! She went through the wringer in her girlhood and was ready to commit suicide from much too early an age. Her loving explanation of how God loves us enough to not leave us enjoying our sin was an excellent way to put things. He doesn't wish evil to us, and living a God-honoring life is not meant to harm us.

I also deeply appreciated that the book is clean. Instead of focusing on the mire of the life she lived in, she made brief statements like "I wanted to get high" rather than including a gratuitous description of how she went about doing that. She mentioned other things of a similar sort; what she never succumbed to doing was to sensationalize her story. It's simply and beautifully told, dwelling on her thoughts and feelings rather than on the gutter she was forced to live in.

My only gripe is that the Hs are not capitalized when referring to God.

I'd feel comfortable giving this book to young ladies of almost any age, especially teens.
Profile Image for Laura.
13 reviews
November 10, 2014
Lacey is one of my favorite singers from the last decade. I will always adore her and her music will always affect me very deeply...but this book was nauseating. She is a born-again Christian and from page one in the book she comes across as one. The best way to describe this book is....Christian. It's very Christian.
Profile Image for Michael.
Author 54 books66 followers
February 9, 2015
This book is going to be huge in the christian market and will no doubt be talked about in churches all over the place. I'm not a Christian, but I was at one point and I have always thought that Flyleaf was quite an amazing band. As soon as I heard about the book I preordered knowing full well what it would represent.

As a non believer I would easily give this book zero stars but let's be honest and admit that not many nonbelievers are reading this book. There's not a lot here to keep them engaged enough to keep reading unless they enjoy hearing about God's love for them and how you matter or maybe you don't matter as much as you think you do.

Lacey's story is one of hope and faith and while most people reading this would just throw it in the garbage after reading variations of just how awesome God is on almost every page. You can see just how much Lacey cares not just about her faith, but also others who are lost and seeking some sort of answer to the big question of why am I here. This book is doesn't contain much for Flyleaf fans or normal people who aren't looking for God, but Lacey is pretty darned convinced that God will find you and make you buy this book so he can save your life.

It's a 200 page testimony of how one woman crawled out of the darkness and into the light and found a life worth living. For Christian folks this is a must read because you will cry and amen a great deal while reading this but for those who have never heard of Lacey or Flyleaf you can skip it.
Profile Image for Jessica (jessdonareads).
55 reviews
October 25, 2014
I saw this book on a friends page and told my husband about it. Next thing I know he bought it for me and I was compelled to read it. I've listened to Flyleaf but didn't know Lacey's story so I didn't know what I was starting.

For part of the book I was thinking to myself "oh another religious fanatic, why should I waste my time?" But I stuck with it. About halfway through I really felt like Lacey was talking to me. She hit on exactly how I've felt for the past 6+ years.

By the end, I really believed what Lacey was saying. This book was put in my life for a reason. I'm not 100% sure what that reason is yet but this book will stay with me for a long long time. Definitely a good read!
72 reviews2 followers
April 21, 2015
I had a feeling this would be a preachy book, but I was willing to overlook that so long as I would learn details of Lacey's life. However this is a pretty surface-level book (she doesn't go into detail of her drug use or how she met her husband). Most of this book is Lacey preaching to the reader about how everyone is God's creation and meant to serve God.

I still like Flyleaf's music. Lacey's book is meant more for religious zealots. Not my personal preference.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
1,410 reviews94 followers
September 26, 2018
If you want to read something that’s going to change you, I suggest this one. I have felt a spiritual shift after listening to her story! I loved hearing her story and can’t wait to get my hands on alone one of her books. These were just a couple of quotes that stayed with me.

“Every day I awoke feeling like a burden to the world.”

“It’s easy to hold on to pain.”

“Suicide is a liar”~Lacey Sturm

Many thanks to my local library and all the Librarians that organize, manage and keep it running to make it possible for this loan.
Profile Image for John.
1,458 reviews36 followers
January 11, 2019
A very good memoir so long as you go into it with the understanding that Lacey Sturm is far more interested in sharing her Christian testimony than discussing the music industry or her former band, Flyleaf. The majority of the book focuses on her spiritual transformation as a teenager, from a depressed girl obsessing over Nirvana and Ann Rice to the outspoken Christian frontwoman of a popular hard rock band.
THE REASON is different from most Christian books in that Ms. Strum honestly and straightforwardly tackles dark issues most Christian authors shy away from: teen depression, suicide, sexual experimentation, drug addiction, child abuse, etc. What I like about Strum as a writer is that she doesn't candy-coat or sensationalize her experiences, nor does she make personal attacks on anyone. I'm sure secular audiences will find the book "preachy" in the sense that Ms. Strum spends a lot of time discussing God and spirituality, but it isn't at all preachy in the sense of being judgmental or self-righteous. She also recounts a few seemingly miraculous events that took place in her life, including divine intervention into her attempted suicide. So there's that.
And though she has obviously studied theology and can quote not only from the Bible but also C.S. Lewis and other great Christian thinkers, her valuable spiritual insights seem largely intuited, as if she's plugged into God on an emotional or instinctive level in the manner of someone like Sojourner Truth. I truly envy her for that, since I tend to perceive God more on an intellectual level than a deeply personal one.
I do wish there was more behind-the-scenes stuff about Flyleaf, however, since it's my love for the band that made me interested in Sturm's story. There are a few nice tidbits, but nothing whatsoever in regard to songcraft. Sturm explains how she first got into music and describes getting a bass guitar for Christmas one year, but the book provides no indication of how she developed her vocal style and lyrical skills. Nothing about what it was like recording their first demo. Nothing about the band's collaborative process. The book makes it seem like creating great music and landing a record deal is as easy as apple pie.
I greatly admire Flyleaf for their insistence on signing with a secular label and opening for mainstream metal bands like Disturbed and Stone Sour. I wish more Christian bands would do like Flyleaf, Stryper, Demon Hunter, etc. and forgo the comfort and security of the CCM industry to instead present their positive messages to audiences who most need to hear them.
Profile Image for Elliana (The Real Count of St. Germain).
169 reviews1 follower
February 2, 2022
5 stars. Always 5 stars. Gah, I love Lacey’s story so much. I love the way she talks about God, how passionate and intimate it is. This book is one of my favorites, though I can say that I connected more to the stories related in her second book, The Mystery.

Despite that, though, this book will always hold a special place in my heart for being the reason (hehe) that I re-discovered what is now my favorite band of all time.

My dad is a huge Flyleaf fan and I remember rocking out to their songs in the car when I was little. So when I found this book in my basement back in 2019, I was intrigued enough to pick it up. And needless to say, it’s changed my life in many ways, big and small. For that, I will always love this book.

Lacey’s story is so powerful and honest—two things I love to see in autobiographies. Her tone is raw, romantic, and conversational, and her meditations leave you thinking for days after you read them.

Thank you, Lacey, for helping me believe in love again after heartache, for encouraging an intimate, raw perspective in my faith that God has only nurtured, and for being the tool God used to show me just how powerful music can be when used for His Kingdom.

And thank you, God, for using Lacey’s words, music, and testimony in this way, not just for me, but for all of the young, old, and in-between men and women out there who once believed they were unlovable, irredeemable, and alone. Thank You for never failing to show us just how wrong we are. Thank You for Your love.

-Elliana Maselli
Tuesday, February 1, 2022
6:16PM
Profile Image for Kenzie.
213 reviews21 followers
March 8, 2025
Lacey has a powerful story of an extremely rough childhood to near suicide to redemption in Jesus and being used in the rock industry to show others the importance of life. I was glad to be able to hear her story!
Profile Image for Kari.
21 reviews2 followers
October 16, 2014


I’m usually a huge fan of biographies and memoirs. Maybe it’s being so very pregnant or maybe it’s because the book had a lot of triggers that upset me but I was actually unable to finish The Reason: How I Discovered A Life Worth Living byLacey Sturm.



Lacy Sturm, whom I salute for her love for Jesus, her optimism and her bravery to share her past, paints a devastatingly painful picture of her childhood in The Reason. Lacey suffered all manner of sad experiences from being hungry to losing a beloved relative to abuse. While she was once suicidal and depressed she went on to become the lead singer of Christian band, Flyleaf.



I’m slightly concerned about the mystical nature of what lead her to the path of conversion. Not everyone will encounter a person who can or will look at you and tell you about yourself. My concern is that people reading The Reason may be waiting for such a mystical encounter to come to faith. While I take Lacey at her word that the encounter happened, instances like those are extremely rare and shouldn’t be represented in a way to feel as if the are common.



Lacey Sturm exhibits a lot of compassion for her fans. Even dedicating the book to one fan. I appreciate very much her willingness to bare her soul, praising God for his redemption and encouraging others to find peace in Jesus. But, the book is filled with so much pain, so much abuse, so much hunger and the pregnancy loss that it really upset me to read as much as I did. If you are very hearty of disposition and are looking for a book to encourage you or someone else about God’s love and not giving into despair, then this could be a great book for you. However, if you are a tender mommy-to-be and have issues with reading about abuse, neglect, hunger or pregnancy loss, I would skip or at least postpone reading The Reason.

(We were given a copy of The Reason for review by The Media Collective in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are our own.)


Profile Image for Dakota Vaughn.
171 reviews
January 31, 2023
Wow, that’s the quickest I’ve read a book in a while!! I really resonated with Lacey Sturm’s story in a lot of ways. I definitely felt some of the same things as a teenager that she felt so deeply. Her honesty and self-reflection were so humble and relatable, which is so often not the case for these types of testimony-biographies. I feel like 90% of this genre are cute books full of empty platitudes from perfect-seeming people. This was not that. This was actually honest. I really appreciate what Lacey’s mission through Flyleaf was (and now I’m curious about their music), and the way she validated young peoples’ genuine connections with things like Nirvana, rock music, the punk scene, etc. Those things, which God CLEARLY uses to reach people, are so often disrespected by people of faith, which just alienates the very people in those communities who are seeking Jesus. Well done. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while. BTW thanks for the book Lily!!
21 reviews
March 24, 2023
Flyleaf continues to be one of my all-time favorite bands and Memento Mori one of my all-time favorite albums and Lacey Sturm one of my all-time vocalists.

Now, that I've cleared the air, I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed her work; let's be honest, I already knew that I would... I remember hearing her testimony for the first time and just finding myself in tears. I loved reading about her life growing up and "the reasons" as to why her thought processes developed the way that they did. Lacey also has a poetic vision for her work, and she has a beautiful way of painting pictures with the language she implements. (The illustrations, while not Lacey's design, were an added nice touch!)

Lacey's heart has radically changed by the awesomeness of God, and I love her candor about her faith. I wish others would unashamedly say, "Yes, Jesus Christ is the Truth, the Life, and the Way," and, "Yes, I do believe in the Gospel".

Furthermore, I have to say that I applaud her for being so raw and honest with her storytelling. I found it compelling and refreshing that she was willing to share that she was wrong in thinking that hell was a metaphor and how she had been twisting Scripture to fit that narrative. (However, I am slightly concerned that it took a book like 23 Minutes in Hell to do so...)

I don't believe that one needs to know of Flyleaf or of Lacey's music in order to appreciate and enjoy this book. For me, it just solidified what I have admired in her for years.
Profile Image for Lacrymosa Quiñones.
714 reviews11 followers
September 22, 2016
First I have to say that my agnostic mind screamed BS through the whole thing. I know I shouldn't have knowing fully well what I was reading. But I couldn't help it, but thank you Lacey I did not realize hoe much of this I needed to hear and how much of this I needed to learn. My path to finding MY truth has been messy and I have belittle religion because of some Christians I saw demeaning others. I do not agree with disliking someone just because they are not what you think God says is not okay. And I do not believe in having a woman obey her husband on everything. BUT I do agree in loving others, this world is slowly going to hell and this book helped me find something to hold onto. Something to believe in.
Profile Image for Paige Pagnotta.
144 reviews72 followers
July 18, 2015
This book has a special place in my heart <3
Flyleaf (and Lacey specifically) was a huge part of my teenage life, so there was no way I could pass up this book.
My beliefs on certain things have changed since I was a teen standing with my best friend in front of Lacey, Sameer, Pat, James and Jared, deliriously happy at their concerts. I'm now a few years older and am no longer sure that I believe in God, to be honest. And God took up a good portion of this book, so that's just something to be aware of.
This book made me feel simultaneously convicted/happy/loved/nostalgic. And Lacey wrote it!
Profile Image for Sharon Huether.
1,714 reviews42 followers
October 25, 2014
Lacey , an unhappy teen thought all Christians wre hypocritical. Her family loved her, but she couldn't see it.. She was rebellious, hating everyone and wanting to kill herself. Grandma was home, she couldn't put her plan into action. Grandma said she would take her to church. That evening the service touched her heart, when the minister spoke directly to her; even knowing Lacey's secrets. There was a reason she was where she was. She had a song to sing,words to speak to a large audience. She marries, had a family and continued spreading the good news. I won this book through goodreads, first -reads.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Shay Prendergast.
187 reviews4 followers
July 11, 2019
I had never heard of Flyleaf but I saw a Billy Graham piece about Sturm and enjoyed it. I appreciate her testimony and everything she overcame in her life to get where she is now. The book however, didn't exactly grip me. I found it hard to follow, as she is a bit choppy and random. She mentions leaving a band at one point that before that she never even said she was in. She starts talking about her husband with no story on where he came from. The beginning of the story has so much detail about her childhood, but then she jumps around and skips big segments of her life it seems. An ok read, with a positive message, that's about it.
Profile Image for Celinda.
77 reviews15 followers
March 30, 2016
If you have ever struggled with the heaviness of depression, suicide, doubt, discouragement, the whys of this life (and if you happen to relate to the rock music scene, no pressure to though) -- then this book just might be for you. Lacey is honest and clear in expressing her journey from deep darkness to the marvelous light she now walks in. Even if you're the slightest bit curious about her story, I strongly encourage you to pick up this book!
Profile Image for Amelia King.
257 reviews3 followers
December 18, 2021
This book was inspiring and comforting. I love Lacey's passion for people and for God. As somebody who has been in similar dark places, I found myself writing quotes down from this book on sticky notes and hanging them in my room. Some examples include "I am beautiful because God sees me as a beautiful" and "God intentionally created me". This book really lifted my spirits and reminded me of my purpose. Would definitely recommend to others.
29 reviews
April 5, 2018
Fantastic book! Lacey’s story is moving and powerful. She is honest and raw about places she’s been in her heart, and where God has brought her despite all that. As a person who’s going into counseling as my future career, I see this book as a very valuable resource for young people in crisis. I will definitely recommend it in the future.
Profile Image for Liz Zimmerman Bahati.
633 reviews
November 30, 2018
Maggie (who is the coolest) lent this to me a while back bc I was going through a difficult period. Lacey definitely does a good job addressing her readers tenderly and lovingly, but I think the writing was a bit simple. Still, I enjoyed the book—it made me feel all warm & cozy inside.
Profile Image for Calandra Bogza.
96 reviews1 follower
March 22, 2024
5⭐️ the same as my first read. This book always finds me when I need it. I am so grateful to have met Lacey in my life and share the joy in her music. She has a story to tell and I’m glad to read and hear it.
Profile Image for Abs.
273 reviews16 followers
March 20, 2015
4-4.5 I LOVE her heart. Her lyrics and her story and her testimony have inspired me for years. The Reason is beautiful. <3
Profile Image for Anna.
50 reviews33 followers
November 26, 2016
This is definitely one of the best books I've ever read! Lacey's story is truly life changing and so inspiring. I highly recommend everyone to read this book!
Profile Image for Chantel.
58 reviews1 follower
Read
May 23, 2020
DNF. Found out that she supports Billy Graham Evangelistic Association which supports gay conversion therapy. No longer a supporter of hers
Displaying 1 - 30 of 253 reviews

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