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Believarexic
Fifteen-year-old Jennifer has to force her family to admit she needs help for her eating disorder. But when her parents sign her into the Samuel Tuke Center, she knows it’s a terrible mistake. The facility’s locked doors, cynical nurses, and punitive rules are a far cry from the peaceful, supportive environment she’d imagined.
In order to be discharged, Jennifer must make her way through the strict treatment program—as well as harrowing accusations, confusing half-truths, and startling insights. She is forced to examine her relationships, both inside and outside the hospital. She must relearn who to trust, and decide for herself what “healthy” really means.
Punctuated by dark humor, gritty realism, and profound moments of self-discovery, Believarexic is a stereotype-defying exploration of belief and human connection.
In order to be discharged, Jennifer must make her way through the strict treatment program—as well as harrowing accusations, confusing half-truths, and startling insights. She is forced to examine her relationships, both inside and outside the hospital. She must relearn who to trust, and decide for herself what “healthy” really means.
Punctuated by dark humor, gritty realism, and profound moments of self-discovery, Believarexic is a stereotype-defying exploration of belief and human connection.
464 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 2015
155 people are currently reading
6298 people want to read
About the author
J.J. Johnson
3 books205 followersJ.J. Johnson is an educator and author. She grew up in a small town in central New York and attended Binghamton University, where she studied History and began her ongoing solidarity and social-justice activism.
After working with teens in service-learning projects, J.J. continued her education, earning a Master of Education from Harvard University, concentrating on adolescent risk and prevention, with a focus on systems of oppression, harm repair, and social justice.
She is the author of THIS GIRL IS DIFFERENT, THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING, and BELIEVAREXIC (all from Peachtree Publishers). Her books have won numerous awards and have been translated into six languages. She also writes on Substack -- Notes from an Unruly Quaker.
J.J. loves to meander, read, hike, dance, laugh, and eat. She provides academic support coaching at a micro high school and is dedicated to radical compassion, nonviolence, and restorative justice. She lives with her husband, son, and rescued dog in North Carolina; her mother lives next door. There are lots of flowers and a Little Free Library in their front yard.
After working with teens in service-learning projects, J.J. continued her education, earning a Master of Education from Harvard University, concentrating on adolescent risk and prevention, with a focus on systems of oppression, harm repair, and social justice.
She is the author of THIS GIRL IS DIFFERENT, THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING, and BELIEVAREXIC (all from Peachtree Publishers). Her books have won numerous awards and have been translated into six languages. She also writes on Substack -- Notes from an Unruly Quaker.
J.J. loves to meander, read, hike, dance, laugh, and eat. She provides academic support coaching at a micro high school and is dedicated to radical compassion, nonviolence, and restorative justice. She lives with her husband, son, and rescued dog in North Carolina; her mother lives next door. There are lots of flowers and a Little Free Library in their front yard.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 388 reviews
July 28, 2014
I am working very hard on this book. It's like bleeding onto the page. So I'm marking it five stars for its first review. Well done, me.
November 1, 2015
Almost all fictionalized tales of eating disorders are pretty crummy. The characters are flat, the underlying "causes" of the disease stereotypical (fear of growing up, need for control, traumatic event, etc.) and the course of treatment is highly unrealistic (somehow the sufferer, previously vehemently opposed to health, is suddenly hungry and "magically" eats again.) Believarexic is none of these things. Reading through the author's bio it is clear this is because she has drawn heavily upon the journals she kept during her own struggle with anorexia. In fact, some of her entries are near verbatim to the novel's text. Unlike every other character in an eating disorder book, Jennifer actually wants to recover. Yes, she struggles, yes, she has temptations, no, she is not perfect. But, overall, her desire to attain health remains. How refreshing! Additionally, this is the most accurate depiction of life in an inpatient treatment center during the late 1980's. I would generally advise most people with an eating disorder to avoid "disease" novels like the plague. This may be the one exception. It does not glamorize the disease nor does it romanticize treatment, no specific numbers regarding weight are ever given. Does the world need another account of life with an eating disorder? No, but this one could surely take the place of most of the rest of the sorry lot.
December 1, 2016
By far this has to be THE BEST book on anorexia/bulimia that I have ever read.
The main character Jenifer, who has to be by far the most relatable character in the history of mental health novels, admits herself into a psychiatric hospital for her eating disorder. Throughout the novel she faces challenges that one would never expect and her eating disorder. She had to be my favorite character in the novel because most of the others were just bitchy. Except for Chuck, the nurse.
I have to say that I do like the way this novel was written and the character development was phenomenal. You go from seeing Jenifer as a twig to being able to except herself at a healthy weight and overcome her eating disorders, and seeing her progress made her more relatable to me.
The one thing that I did not like about the novel though is that in the beginning the novel is told in a poetic verse style, similar to how Ellen Hopkins writes her novels, to a more novel based writing, like with paragraphs and how most novels are written. This was an adjustment for me because it was a very abrupt style change and took time to get used to.
Overall, though, I enjoyed this novel to the fullest extent that I could, and would highly recommend it to people who would like to know what an eating disorder and mental hospital are like. But, be warned, it contains content that may be triggering to people.
The main character Jenifer, who has to be by far the most relatable character in the history of mental health novels, admits herself into a psychiatric hospital for her eating disorder. Throughout the novel she faces challenges that one would never expect and her eating disorder. She had to be my favorite character in the novel because most of the others were just bitchy. Except for Chuck, the nurse.
I have to say that I do like the way this novel was written and the character development was phenomenal. You go from seeing Jenifer as a twig to being able to except herself at a healthy weight and overcome her eating disorders, and seeing her progress made her more relatable to me.
The one thing that I did not like about the novel though is that in the beginning the novel is told in a poetic verse style, similar to how Ellen Hopkins writes her novels, to a more novel based writing, like with paragraphs and how most novels are written. This was an adjustment for me because it was a very abrupt style change and took time to get used to.
Overall, though, I enjoyed this novel to the fullest extent that I could, and would highly recommend it to people who would like to know what an eating disorder and mental hospital are like. But, be warned, it contains content that may be triggering to people.
Read
December 23, 2023ohh, the way this hit me so incredibly hard. it broke my heart and made me scream and also somehow left me smiling??
jennifer's story wasn't very similar to my own. for one, hers is set in the 80s, and i'm a teenager in 2023, and there was also the fact that she and i have different diagnosis'. despite that, i related so much to her.
i was released from ed treatment a little over a month ago, and for that reason, this book was so... it was a lot to handle. it was pretty intense at times, yet somehow not fully triggering. this book reminded me why recovery matters, and that there's more to life than being small. when jennifer talked about the hierarchy of eating disorders, i... i felt so called out. she put into words what i've known (and struggled with pride over) for a long time.
this book was so nuanced, and you can tell that the author truly understood what it's like to be so sick. the jealousy, the wishing to be worse, the agonizing desire to have a deteriorating body... it was all portrayed so realistically. this is one of my favorite eating disorder books. it gives enough details for readers to picture jennifer's situation, yet doesn't give enough to turn into a manual. the fact that the author left out numbers was such a good choice. <3
if you love someone with an eating disorder (specifically bulimia and/or anorexia), please pick up this book to understand them better. if you are someone with an eating disorder, please (cautiously) read this. it's such a needed book. check the trigger warnings before reading though. stay safe, sweet friends <3
i'm leaving this unrated, due to the fact that it's essentially a memoir, and i don't feel comfortable rating someone's life story.
cw: strong language (it felt very realistic though, considering the situation), memories of sexual abuse (not incredibly graphic, but still disturbing), some rare sexual content, disturbing mentions of suicide methods (non graphic), treatment, psych ward stuff, body dysphoria, self harm, some mentions of vomiting, more stuff that i'm probably forgetting
jennifer's story wasn't very similar to my own. for one, hers is set in the 80s, and i'm a teenager in 2023, and there was also the fact that she and i have different diagnosis'. despite that, i related so much to her.
i was released from ed treatment a little over a month ago, and for that reason, this book was so... it was a lot to handle. it was pretty intense at times, yet somehow not fully triggering. this book reminded me why recovery matters, and that there's more to life than being small. when jennifer talked about the hierarchy of eating disorders, i... i felt so called out. she put into words what i've known (and struggled with pride over) for a long time.
this book was so nuanced, and you can tell that the author truly understood what it's like to be so sick. the jealousy, the wishing to be worse, the agonizing desire to have a deteriorating body... it was all portrayed so realistically. this is one of my favorite eating disorder books. it gives enough details for readers to picture jennifer's situation, yet doesn't give enough to turn into a manual. the fact that the author left out numbers was such a good choice. <3
if you love someone with an eating disorder (specifically bulimia and/or anorexia), please pick up this book to understand them better. if you are someone with an eating disorder, please (cautiously) read this. it's such a needed book. check the trigger warnings before reading though. stay safe, sweet friends <3
i'm leaving this unrated, due to the fact that it's essentially a memoir, and i don't feel comfortable rating someone's life story.
cw: strong language (it felt very realistic though, considering the situation), memories of sexual abuse (not incredibly graphic, but still disturbing), some rare sexual content, disturbing mentions of suicide methods (non graphic), treatment, psych ward stuff, body dysphoria, self harm, some mentions of vomiting, more stuff that i'm probably forgetting
Read
March 5, 2016This came to me because I was on a panel with JJ and she was knock-out fabulous ... I knew I had to read her book. And I am so glad I did.
This is a true novel, or a fictionalized memoir, following the author's fifteen-year-old self through a stay in an eating disorders unit. The process through the clinic forms the low-key but high-stake plot, and the effect is likewise low-key but powerful -- transformation, friendship, trust, self-acceptance, hope.
But to tell you the truth I just enjoyed my trip back to being my own teenaged-self in the 1980s, complete with mixed tapes and a confusing but intense crush on Annie Lennox. I know this is a shallow reaction. But JJ can take you there, and she's Never Gonna Give You Up.
This is a true novel, or a fictionalized memoir, following the author's fifteen-year-old self through a stay in an eating disorders unit. The process through the clinic forms the low-key but high-stake plot, and the effect is likewise low-key but powerful -- transformation, friendship, trust, self-acceptance, hope.
But to tell you the truth I just enjoyed my trip back to being my own teenaged-self in the 1980s, complete with mixed tapes and a confusing but intense crush on Annie Lennox. I know this is a shallow reaction. But JJ can take you there, and she's Never Gonna Give You Up.
October 18, 2015
Before I review this book, I'd like to say even though I got this book from Netgalley, these thoughts are all my own opinion. I am very thankful to Netgalley for allowing me to review this book, but I also don't want to be all sunshine and rainbows and not be honest about how I feel about this book.
All right, so now that that little explanation is over, lets discuss Believarexic. Believarexic was a novel that I thought I would love. I was initially attracted to the cover and loved the premise because I thought it would be an autobiography. In a way it was, but it was also a fiction novel I think. ( Correct me if I'm wrong) I really wanted a novel showing the growth and development of their eating disorder or at least have an explanation why it developed. Their really was no explanation that was clear. To me that aspect in her past felt very jumbled and I really would've liked more information on that.
Overall the book could have been fantastic, but another aspect that irked me was the writing. The writing felt so choppy and unnatural. I don't know if it was the way my ARC copy was with the dropoff sentences, but the words and vocabulary didn't seem to have a flow that made me feel like I was getting a consistent story. I don't need lovely lyrical writing, but I at least need it to flow and have some sort of imagery, ya know what I mean?
The characters to me weren't all that well written, which really hurts me to say because these characters are basically based on the author's family and her which makes me feel like a real jerk saying this. I know I may not relate with Jennifer's personality a ton, but the most I really saw was crying and her eating disorder. There was more tell rather than show, which didn't really help to connect with her. It kept saying she was sad or she was a good girl, but I want proof in her character to say that rather than just telling the reader what to think.
I also found the way bulimia and anorexia was portrayed in a way that felt like it was very glossed over. I know this is a recovery book, but again, it was only tell, know show. It never told the reader how thin Jennifer was or what the symtoms and hardships of anorexia was. We only got crying, which is needed in the novel, but I felt like I was missing out on many important key points in the novel.
I know this is a very negative review, but one strong point in the book was the whole hospital system being explained. I thought that was important since we rarely get the rules in a hospital for the patients in recovery. I found that very interesting and a fantastic touch to the story.
Overall, this book wasn't for me, but I also think many others would enjoy this book so I say give it a try if it sounds interesting to you.
All right, so now that that little explanation is over, lets discuss Believarexic. Believarexic was a novel that I thought I would love. I was initially attracted to the cover and loved the premise because I thought it would be an autobiography. In a way it was, but it was also a fiction novel I think. ( Correct me if I'm wrong) I really wanted a novel showing the growth and development of their eating disorder or at least have an explanation why it developed. Their really was no explanation that was clear. To me that aspect in her past felt very jumbled and I really would've liked more information on that.
Overall the book could have been fantastic, but another aspect that irked me was the writing. The writing felt so choppy and unnatural. I don't know if it was the way my ARC copy was with the dropoff sentences, but the words and vocabulary didn't seem to have a flow that made me feel like I was getting a consistent story. I don't need lovely lyrical writing, but I at least need it to flow and have some sort of imagery, ya know what I mean?
The characters to me weren't all that well written, which really hurts me to say because these characters are basically based on the author's family and her which makes me feel like a real jerk saying this. I know I may not relate with Jennifer's personality a ton, but the most I really saw was crying and her eating disorder. There was more tell rather than show, which didn't really help to connect with her. It kept saying she was sad or she was a good girl, but I want proof in her character to say that rather than just telling the reader what to think.
I also found the way bulimia and anorexia was portrayed in a way that felt like it was very glossed over. I know this is a recovery book, but again, it was only tell, know show. It never told the reader how thin Jennifer was or what the symtoms and hardships of anorexia was. We only got crying, which is needed in the novel, but I felt like I was missing out on many important key points in the novel.
I know this is a very negative review, but one strong point in the book was the whole hospital system being explained. I thought that was important since we rarely get the rules in a hospital for the patients in recovery. I found that very interesting and a fantastic touch to the story.
Overall, this book wasn't for me, but I also think many others would enjoy this book so I say give it a try if it sounds interesting to you.
January 30, 2017
I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you NetGalley for my advanced reading copy! I look forward to reading this!
I received Believarexic as an Advanced Reading Copy from NetGalley, therefore it was downloaded onto my iPad. I have a hard time reading on there so it took me a long time and I eventually gave up. I requested this in physical copy and I am so thankful I did! If I had not I would have missed out on an amazing story of struggle, growth, and a road to happiness.
Believarexic is about a young girl by the name of Jennifer who at the age of 15 admits herself into a hospital for an eating disorder. I don't want to give too much of this story away in order for first time readers to be able to experience Jennifer's journey to recovery for themselves. The struggles this young woman has faced absolutely devastate me and I am so glad she was brave enough to face her problems and have the willpower to endure.
I have read many book on eating disorders and I think I liked this one the best. It is a powerful and motivating book. I liked that it didn't focus so much on weight during recovery. Many books with this topic give insight to girls/women struggling with this issue and how to better "succeed" in getting thin. This book puts more emphasis on treatment and getting better which I admire.
Thank you NetGalley for my advanced reading copy! I look forward to reading this!
I received Believarexic as an Advanced Reading Copy from NetGalley, therefore it was downloaded onto my iPad. I have a hard time reading on there so it took me a long time and I eventually gave up. I requested this in physical copy and I am so thankful I did! If I had not I would have missed out on an amazing story of struggle, growth, and a road to happiness.
Believarexic is about a young girl by the name of Jennifer who at the age of 15 admits herself into a hospital for an eating disorder. I don't want to give too much of this story away in order for first time readers to be able to experience Jennifer's journey to recovery for themselves. The struggles this young woman has faced absolutely devastate me and I am so glad she was brave enough to face her problems and have the willpower to endure.
I have read many book on eating disorders and I think I liked this one the best. It is a powerful and motivating book. I liked that it didn't focus so much on weight during recovery. Many books with this topic give insight to girls/women struggling with this issue and how to better "succeed" in getting thin. This book puts more emphasis on treatment and getting better which I admire.
August 25, 2021
I had this book on my tbr for a while. I probably put it on there so I could trigger myself like I usually would do with ED books.
This did not do that. The author does a great job of talking about the effects of ED and what it’s like to have an ED without giving a lot of the details that would trigger someone with an ED. Weight number are never given, physical attributes are never discussed.
It made me feel…good? Hopeful? Even though I am not currently practicing my ED, I know that I can also make peace with the little monster that lives inside me.
This did not do that. The author does a great job of talking about the effects of ED and what it’s like to have an ED without giving a lot of the details that would trigger someone with an ED. Weight number are never given, physical attributes are never discussed.
It made me feel…good? Hopeful? Even though I am not currently practicing my ED, I know that I can also make peace with the little monster that lives inside me.
August 8, 2016
This isn't a book about eating disorders. It is a book about eating disorder recovery. It is hopeful, and heartfelt and sometimes painful. It is such an accurate depiction. I loved how nothing in this book was romanticized, and nothing was added for shock value. I especially liked the authors decision not to mention the actual amount any of the characters weighed, in hopes that it would not trigger people. I also loved the focus on female friendship.
My favourite quote:
"I was a sleepy, fat, disgusting mess.
Correction:
I was a sleepy, healthy-ish, very human mess."
My favourite quote:
"I was a sleepy, fat, disgusting mess.
Correction:
I was a sleepy, healthy-ish, very human mess."
August 16, 2021
I’m usually pretty reserved in giving 5 star reviews to books centred around ED themes, as usually there’s something that cat be pretty triggering to read. This was not the case in believarexia. So many of the mantras throughout I have received in psychology sessions, and even found quite a few parts of the book to be quite beneficial in self reflection. With its humour, heart and wonderful insight, I could not recommend this book more.
June 28, 2015
I will leave the synopsis to the other reviewers. All I want to say is this:
Gut wrenchingly beautiful. I save my five star reviews for the books that change my mind, my way of thinking, and pierce my heart. Spot on. Won't forget this book anytime soon.
For parents: some language, tough life issues, excellent book for starting a conversation with your child about several topics. Highly recommended for all mature YA readers.
Gut wrenchingly beautiful. I save my five star reviews for the books that change my mind, my way of thinking, and pierce my heart. Spot on. Won't forget this book anytime soon.
For parents: some language, tough life issues, excellent book for starting a conversation with your child about several topics. Highly recommended for all mature YA readers.
December 11, 2015
review to come
August 23, 2015
**I received a free copy of BELIEVAREXIC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review**
Grade: C
At age fifteen during the late 1980s, Jennifer is admitted to the Eating Disorder Unit (EDU) of a psych hospital for bulimarexia, a combination of anorexia and bulimia. She becomes a model patient, cries and recovers in record time.
Insurance reimbursement for inpatient psych treatment has changes dramatically in the 25+ years since writer JJ Johnson's hospitalization, where she remained for ten weeks. In 2015 she's be very lucky to be approved for 28 days. I'm not sure why she decided to write her account as a YA novel, rather than memoir. If she wanted to go the fictionalized route, I don't know why she didn't update to appeal to today's youth. The cultural references are dated. I wonder how many teens are going to need to google VHS and cassette tapes. I doubt they'll know what an After School Special is. I'm sure kids obsessed with all things eating disorder will try the movies Johnson mentioned on YouTube. I'm only enough to have caught most of them the first time around.
As a character, Jennifer protracted herself as a good girl and almost-perfect patient. I obviously routed for her to recover, readers will want to see her get better. I never felt like I was seeing an objective perspective of her character, as Johnson often painted herself too sympathetically, as a "victim", somewhat self-righteous, preachy one at that.
The writing, while often engaging was much more telling than showing. The layout and sentence structure were a bit wonky, I'm not sure if that was by design or because I read a galley copy. I might look for other novels by Johnson, but I'd read the sample chapter to see the format.
THEMES: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, bulimarexia, alcoholism, family, friends, psychiatric hospital, recovery
BELIEVAREXIC is a dated story about a teen's ten week stay on an eating disorder unit in a psych hospital.
Grade: C
At age fifteen during the late 1980s, Jennifer is admitted to the Eating Disorder Unit (EDU) of a psych hospital for bulimarexia, a combination of anorexia and bulimia. She becomes a model patient, cries and recovers in record time.
Insurance reimbursement for inpatient psych treatment has changes dramatically in the 25+ years since writer JJ Johnson's hospitalization, where she remained for ten weeks. In 2015 she's be very lucky to be approved for 28 days. I'm not sure why she decided to write her account as a YA novel, rather than memoir. If she wanted to go the fictionalized route, I don't know why she didn't update to appeal to today's youth. The cultural references are dated. I wonder how many teens are going to need to google VHS and cassette tapes. I doubt they'll know what an After School Special is. I'm sure kids obsessed with all things eating disorder will try the movies Johnson mentioned on YouTube. I'm only enough to have caught most of them the first time around.
As a character, Jennifer protracted herself as a good girl and almost-perfect patient. I obviously routed for her to recover, readers will want to see her get better. I never felt like I was seeing an objective perspective of her character, as Johnson often painted herself too sympathetically, as a "victim", somewhat self-righteous, preachy one at that.
The writing, while often engaging was much more telling than showing. The layout and sentence structure were a bit wonky, I'm not sure if that was by design or because I read a galley copy. I might look for other novels by Johnson, but I'd read the sample chapter to see the format.
THEMES: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, bulimarexia, alcoholism, family, friends, psychiatric hospital, recovery
BELIEVAREXIC is a dated story about a teen's ten week stay on an eating disorder unit in a psych hospital.
October 1, 2015
~ I received this book from Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review ~
I have very ambivalent feelings about this book. I think books like this are very important. I think young girls and parents need to be educated about the very real damage and health risks that eating disorders cause, and I think society needs to now how important is is for girls to be taught the vital importance of having a healthy body image and living a healthy lifestyle.
And I think this book did a fairly adequate job of doing that. However, I must admit that I had quite a bit of difficulty connecting to the MC and her journey. Because the book started with Jennifer requesting to be hospitalized, and then immediately delving into her treatment, I felt like I never really had an idea who Jennifer was.
This made it difficult for me to get excited about her revelations, because I really had no idea of her previous state of mind to grasp whether this new realization was amazing or just interesting. So in some respects, I was left feeling that the story was more about Jennifer's experience in the EDU of a mental hospital than Jennifer's actual disease and recovery.
Nevertheless, books like this are important, and may be more impacting for those who have experienced a similar journey, or to help some realize that they need to seek help.
I have very ambivalent feelings about this book. I think books like this are very important. I think young girls and parents need to be educated about the very real damage and health risks that eating disorders cause, and I think society needs to now how important is is for girls to be taught the vital importance of having a healthy body image and living a healthy lifestyle.
And I think this book did a fairly adequate job of doing that. However, I must admit that I had quite a bit of difficulty connecting to the MC and her journey. Because the book started with Jennifer requesting to be hospitalized, and then immediately delving into her treatment, I felt like I never really had an idea who Jennifer was.
This made it difficult for me to get excited about her revelations, because I really had no idea of her previous state of mind to grasp whether this new realization was amazing or just interesting. So in some respects, I was left feeling that the story was more about Jennifer's experience in the EDU of a mental hospital than Jennifer's actual disease and recovery.
Nevertheless, books like this are important, and may be more impacting for those who have experienced a similar journey, or to help some realize that they need to seek help.
August 20, 2015
I read a bunch of books about young women with eating disorders and this one mysteriously appeared in the mail at work. To this day, I still have no idea how I got it. The book is partial memoir, partial novel and gives an extremely realistic and well written look at a 15 year old's journey to recovery. Jennifer volunteers to put herself into a mental institution after she sees a commercial for getting help for an eating disorder. Her parents don't' seem to believe she needs help, but decide to go along with the plan to have her checked in. From there, she begins treatment and encounters a memorable cast of characters that include fellow patients, nurses and psychologists. The book is extremely well written and you feel that you are going along on Jennifer's journey to recovery. The story kept me gripped from the first page, and I couldnt' wait to see how the story turned out. All in all, an excellent memoir!
October 2, 2023
The fact that there was no numbers mentioned (in terms of weight and exercise) was good for not being triggering. Related a lot more than I thought I would, definitely the more helpful for recovery of the ed related books i’ve read so far.
October 9, 2015
Wow. I have been there and this is it. This is a memoir that does it right. Careful, non-triggering, affirming, and heart-pounding. Brava.
September 17, 2021
LIVING WITH(OUT) ANOREXIA
As I have now reached a stalemate in my recovery, I decided to look for some motivation in books and memoirs about anorexia. I was aware I could run the risk of having the impression to be reading a single, longer book rather than three separate ones. After all, we're talking about the same illness, which is supposed to create a sort of pattern as regards thoughts, experiences leading to the eating disorder (such as a troubled relationship with the members of one's family, especially with the mother) and the special bond that patients create with each other while living in an EDU (Eating Disorder Unit).
I'd lie if I said this 'repetition' didn't bore me sometimes - but this happened because I couldn't stand my thoughts being echoed over and over by the protagonists of these stories. Stories that are, on the contrary, quite different one from another.
***
The main difference is that, while "Elena vanishing" is a memoir and "What I lost" a work of fiction, " Believarexic " - my favorite of the three - is both, in the sense that the author chose to enrich her real life experience with fictional events, such as some plot twists that really made the trick for me (the one about Nurse Ratched left me speechless, for example).
Moreover, I could totally relate to Jennifer in everything she felt: anorexia is here portrayed in a very harsh and realistic way, with a particular focus on the struggle to stick to the treatment centre's rules and trust the nurses. As well as her frustration, however, I could clearly perceive her closeness with the other girls fighting the same 'monster' – as she aptly calls it – and her sense of bliss at the end of the novel, when she was reunited with her family.
"Will you get the monster out before you kill it, or will you murder it while it's still in me? Will I walk around, always, with a monster carcass rattling inside?"
"Now, I think maybe it's not about killing the monster. Maybe it's about making peace with it. [...] But most importantly, I think, is that you find people who love you [...] monsters and all. [...] I am different, but I am the same."
***
" What I lost " gave me more or less the same emotions, even though I wished the writer developed the part concerning the packages mystery in a less predictable way. Elizabeth's story, however, caught my attention because explored the problem of dealing with 'real' life after recovery, especially with the difficulty to avoid relapsing. I was also quite moved by Elizabeth's mother personal issues and their detrimental effect on her daughter's diet and body image, probably because I went through something very similar.
***
On the contrary " Elena vanishing ", despite having a huge emotional impact on me because of the topics addressed (), was somehow beyond my understanding, as I couldn't fully identify with Elena precisely because of the extremely distressing situations she had to endure and I didn't (luckily). This was still a very interesting reading, especially when it came to the protagonist's struggle to fit anorexia in her normal life and her realising she could never.
As I have now reached a stalemate in my recovery, I decided to look for some motivation in books and memoirs about anorexia. I was aware I could run the risk of having the impression to be reading a single, longer book rather than three separate ones. After all, we're talking about the same illness, which is supposed to create a sort of pattern as regards thoughts, experiences leading to the eating disorder (such as a troubled relationship with the members of one's family, especially with the mother) and the special bond that patients create with each other while living in an EDU (Eating Disorder Unit).
I'd lie if I said this 'repetition' didn't bore me sometimes - but this happened because I couldn't stand my thoughts being echoed over and over by the protagonists of these stories. Stories that are, on the contrary, quite different one from another.
***
The main difference is that, while "Elena vanishing" is a memoir and "What I lost" a work of fiction, " Believarexic " - my favorite of the three - is both, in the sense that the author chose to enrich her real life experience with fictional events, such as some plot twists that really made the trick for me (the one about Nurse Ratched left me speechless, for example).
Moreover, I could totally relate to Jennifer in everything she felt: anorexia is here portrayed in a very harsh and realistic way, with a particular focus on the struggle to stick to the treatment centre's rules and trust the nurses. As well as her frustration, however, I could clearly perceive her closeness with the other girls fighting the same 'monster' – as she aptly calls it – and her sense of bliss at the end of the novel, when she was reunited with her family.
"Will you get the monster out before you kill it, or will you murder it while it's still in me? Will I walk around, always, with a monster carcass rattling inside?"
"Now, I think maybe it's not about killing the monster. Maybe it's about making peace with it. [...] But most importantly, I think, is that you find people who love you [...] monsters and all. [...] I am different, but I am the same."
***
" What I lost " gave me more or less the same emotions, even though I wished the writer developed the part concerning the packages mystery in a less predictable way. Elizabeth's story, however, caught my attention because explored the problem of dealing with 'real' life after recovery, especially with the difficulty to avoid relapsing. I was also quite moved by Elizabeth's mother personal issues and their detrimental effect on her daughter's diet and body image, probably because I went through something very similar.
***
On the contrary " Elena vanishing ", despite having a huge emotional impact on me because of the topics addressed (), was somehow beyond my understanding, as I couldn't fully identify with Elena precisely because of the extremely distressing situations she had to endure and I didn't (luckily). This was still a very interesting reading, especially when it came to the protagonist's struggle to fit anorexia in her normal life and her realising she could never.
February 7, 2016
(I received an e-arc of this book from netgalley, in exchange for an honest review)
There are a lot of books about girls and women with eating disorders nowadays. I find most of them having flat characters, an unrealistic storyline, way too much glamorized and romanticized, however, believarexic was totally different.
Like Jennifer, our main character, I’ve had to deal with an eating disorders on the age of 15 as well. Unlike other books about this subject, I could relate to the main character and she felt real. It felt like I was on journey to recovery with Jennifer, instead of seeing her on her journey. I think it’s very important for teenagers, but also parents and teachers and adults in general, to read books like this. Even if you can’t completely relate to the main character because you haven’t experienced something similar, you will still be on a journey with her.
I think the fact that the novel felt so real was partly because the book is written like a diary, we are with Jennifer from day to day, also because the writer used her own experiences for writing this book , it is part memoir part novel.
Another thing I really appreciate about this book is that it’s not romanticized, I’ve read some books about eating disorders but almost all of them were romanticized and glamorized. In the middle of the book, when a new character was announced, I was afraid it would turn out in a romance. I’m really happy it did not, this is what made this book so good but also so important to read, it’s real. It’s real, but not in a way it would trigger people with eating disorders.
The story kept my attention from the start and I’m so happy I’ve read this book, I recommend it to everyone. You should definitely read it! (I gave this book 4.5 out of 5 stars)
There are a lot of books about girls and women with eating disorders nowadays. I find most of them having flat characters, an unrealistic storyline, way too much glamorized and romanticized, however, believarexic was totally different.
Like Jennifer, our main character, I’ve had to deal with an eating disorders on the age of 15 as well. Unlike other books about this subject, I could relate to the main character and she felt real. It felt like I was on journey to recovery with Jennifer, instead of seeing her on her journey. I think it’s very important for teenagers, but also parents and teachers and adults in general, to read books like this. Even if you can’t completely relate to the main character because you haven’t experienced something similar, you will still be on a journey with her.
I think the fact that the novel felt so real was partly because the book is written like a diary, we are with Jennifer from day to day, also because the writer used her own experiences for writing this book , it is part memoir part novel.
Another thing I really appreciate about this book is that it’s not romanticized, I’ve read some books about eating disorders but almost all of them were romanticized and glamorized. In the middle of the book, when a new character was announced, I was afraid it would turn out in a romance. I’m really happy it did not, this is what made this book so good but also so important to read, it’s real. It’s real, but not in a way it would trigger people with eating disorders.
The story kept my attention from the start and I’m so happy I’ve read this book, I recommend it to everyone. You should definitely read it! (I gave this book 4.5 out of 5 stars)
July 9, 2015
**THIS REVIEW IS TAKEN DIRECTLY OFF OF MY BLOG A READER'S DIARY**
Jennifer Johnson, age 15. Bulimarexic. Possible alcoholic.
How do you go through your life without any happy, helium balloons like everyone else has? Jennifer takes us on her journey in the Eating Disorder Unit (EDU) of a hospital. Told through a journal type setting, Jennifer shows us all of the ups and downs of a mental hospital. She can't pee without someone standing in the doorway, her shared bedroom door doesn't close all the way, she must eat everything on her breakfast and lunch tray whether she likes it or not. The privacy in a facility like this is slim to none. The nurses don't trust you, the doctor's don't listen, and all of the Overeater Anonymous (OA) programs are led by patients themselves! Family therapy meetings are always disastrous and finding friends is even harder when there is no one to trust. Struggling with a disease or disorder like this is tough no matter who you are. At 15, Jennifer actually knew she had a problem and wanted to get help right away. I was blown away by this "autobiographical memoir" as author J.J. Johnson puts it. I love, love, loved reading this!
To learn more about Jennifer Johnson, check out her website: http://www.believarexic.com/
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with another wonderful read!!
Mark your calendars, Believarexic comes out October 1st!
Jennifer Johnson, age 15. Bulimarexic. Possible alcoholic.
How do you go through your life without any happy, helium balloons like everyone else has? Jennifer takes us on her journey in the Eating Disorder Unit (EDU) of a hospital. Told through a journal type setting, Jennifer shows us all of the ups and downs of a mental hospital. She can't pee without someone standing in the doorway, her shared bedroom door doesn't close all the way, she must eat everything on her breakfast and lunch tray whether she likes it or not. The privacy in a facility like this is slim to none. The nurses don't trust you, the doctor's don't listen, and all of the Overeater Anonymous (OA) programs are led by patients themselves! Family therapy meetings are always disastrous and finding friends is even harder when there is no one to trust. Struggling with a disease or disorder like this is tough no matter who you are. At 15, Jennifer actually knew she had a problem and wanted to get help right away. I was blown away by this "autobiographical memoir" as author J.J. Johnson puts it. I love, love, loved reading this!
To learn more about Jennifer Johnson, check out her website: http://www.believarexic.com/
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with another wonderful read!!
Mark your calendars, Believarexic comes out October 1st!
September 25, 2015
*I received a copy of this novel through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*
This novel is partially an autobiography about the author and her struggle with an eating disorder in the 1980s. The progression of the novel was handled really well. It felt like Jennifer was walking around in a dream to begin with and then she slowly started to wake up. An interesting and insightful view of what it's like to be hospitalized for an eating disorder. It's not as pretty as the movies make it seem. It's an emotionally charged book, so be prepared for hardhitting subject matter. I do think it tried to handle too much at times without enough conclusion to certain questions, but it was a good read.
Full review will be up on September 27th: http://courtneysreads.blogspot.com/20...
This novel is partially an autobiography about the author and her struggle with an eating disorder in the 1980s. The progression of the novel was handled really well. It felt like Jennifer was walking around in a dream to begin with and then she slowly started to wake up. An interesting and insightful view of what it's like to be hospitalized for an eating disorder. It's not as pretty as the movies make it seem. It's an emotionally charged book, so be prepared for hardhitting subject matter. I do think it tried to handle too much at times without enough conclusion to certain questions, but it was a good read.
Full review will be up on September 27th: http://courtneysreads.blogspot.com/20...
July 15, 2016
I forgot to update my Goodreads and I've read a few books since this one, but I find it interesting how barbaric and inhumane some nursing assistants can be in facilities where they're supposed to be helping people. Although there were some problems I had with the dialogue, I thought this story was one of the best books-about-eating-disorders I've ever read--and even crazier: this is a true story! At least, MOST of it is true. J.J. Johnson supplies her journals that she kept while in Samuel Tuke on her website, so that should also be an interesting read. Thank God for Chuck and Sophia! (you'll know what this means once you've read it). Also, Johnson's dad is kind of an asshole? Her interactions between her and her dad were hard to read because he made me so frustrated.
January 17, 2016
This is one of the bravest books I've ever read. Johnson looks into the darkest recesses of her own experience with eating disorders and depression to tell a story about suffering, recovery, and, above all, hope.
November 6, 2015
DNF 15%
The writing style wasn't for me
The writing style wasn't for me
February 22, 2019
In a true story based off of her own life, Johnson writes an honest, liberating read that I loved. On every page, you hear J.J.'s voice and struggles. I strongly recommend Believarexic to everyone.
June 5, 2015
Source/Format: Edelweiss/e-ARC
This review is also posted on my blog: RurouniJenniReads
This story tells the battle of a weepy fifteen-year old, Jennifer Johnson, against an eating disorder monster with a difficult name: bulimarexia. Jennifer’s battle was fought hard, intense and long because this monster has the ability to cling on to her very core, influencing her thoughts and actions. It made Jennifer think that she’s nothing without it. That the monster is her identity. Our heroine’s first conflict was whether she should seek professional help or not. The monster mocked her, “You are not skinny enough for a hospital.” Jennifer wrestled with her thoughts and finally mustered the courage to tell her parents that she needs help. Jennifer’s quest inside the hospital commenced. There, she hoped she could eradicate the monster completely. But then the help she expected was alas, not handed to her on a silver platter or in this case, on a pop of a pill. She had to go through all sorts of excruciating institution-implemented things. And she was sometimes entangled in other in-patients’ drama. And she had to confront other aspects of her life (family dynamics, for instance) that she did not realize were somewhat related to her disease. It became really hard for Jennifer but there’s hope because in the hospital she has found some new allies like Dr. Prakash and Chuck, among others. Will Jennifer be able to successfully prevail over her monster? You have to read this book to find out. SERIOUSLY, READ IT.
I just want to say that while reading, I was eerily reminded of a 1999 movie, Girl Interrupted, starring Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. In the movie, the main character has to deal also with being institutionalized, cramped with her co-patients and hospital staff, thinking if anything of that would cure her. I love that movie and I also love Believarexic.
My favorite parts were Jennifer’s consultations with her designated psychiatrist, Dr. Prakash. Dr. Prakash is like Gandalf to Jennifer’s Frodo. Or perhaps like Yoda to Jennifer’s Anakin Skywalker, since Jennifer is a huge Star Wars fan. One of their sessions that stood out for me was when Jennifer metaphorically described happiness as balloons on strings where most people’s balloons were plump and bouncy and some people’s balloons were droopy. And then there was also this one particular conversation between them when Jennifer was complaining about a hospital staff:
“Sheryl is human and fallible,” Dr. Prakash says.
“She is doing her best”
Jennifer takes a deep, shuddering breath.
“Her best is pretty crappy.”
Dr. Prakash laughs. “You are one tough customer, Jennifer.
Are you as hard on yourself as you are on other people?”
BAM, THAT LAST LINE! Dr. Prakash is implying that Jennifer’s obsession to become thin to the point of doing harm to herself is partly because she thinks that she is not perfect enough if she is not thin. That statement there by Dr. Prakash SLAPPED Jennifer (and ME) hard in the face. While reading, I realized that sometimes, like Jennifer, I am subconsciously a fault-finder not only to other people but more so and sadly to myself as well. This fault-finding behavior limits my full capacity because of being afraid to make mistakes. It is as if I am “making myself stand on the head of a pin” as what Dr. Prakash would say. Okay, I’ll stop blubbering about my cathartic moment right there. What I’m just trying to say is Jennifer’s story can also be relatable even to readers like me with no eating disorder. There are lots and lots of eye-opening conversations like this throughout the book. So again, read this book people.
Aside from Dr. Prakash I have yet to express my high regards towards Chuck, Jennifer’s secondary nurse (because her primary nurse is a bit of a b*tch). I will throw again a far-fetched Lord of the Rings reference here but I guess he is Aragorn to Jennifer’s Frodo. He is the kind of nurse who makes Jennifer less of a patient and more of a friend. He is cool, sweet and caring to Jennifer and has also a great taste for retro music! In the book, Chuck gave Jennifer this mixtape (it’s the 80’s people) loaded with dance songs on one side (because Jennifer loves to dance) and with when-you-need-a-friend slow songs on the other. In this website dedicated to all things Believarexic, the author has so kindly shared lots of bonus materials for the book including playlists of Chuck’s mixtape. After finishing the book, I listened to all the songs. It’s a good way to cool down my book hangover.
Lastly, Jennifer, the heroine herself, is a character you can empathize with. She is obviously flawed (her constant weeping annoyed me at times), but I admire her grit and determination to recover and overcome her monster.
I have a minor issue in the shift of point of view from third POV to first POV on the latter parts of the story. I just could not clearly identify why there has to be a shift of POV. Also, I wish there was a wee bit more of interaction between Jennifer and Kelly. Kelly is Jennifer’s bestfriend in the outside world who did not even get to visit her in the hospital or send her a gift, not even a letter. I love how Jennifer’s relationship with her parents was thoroughly addressed in the book but Jennifer’s concern about her brother, Richard was not completely resolved.
Overall, I would highly recommend this book to people who want to be inspired. Also, I may not be armed with facts and figures here but it does not take to be an expert to realize that having an eating disorder imposes serious health hazards. This might be that story which saves lives. Believarexic is a book with a lot of heart and has a relevant message. I cannot stress it enough: Go. Read THIS.
This review is also posted on my blog: RurouniJenniReads
This story tells the battle of a weepy fifteen-year old, Jennifer Johnson, against an eating disorder monster with a difficult name: bulimarexia. Jennifer’s battle was fought hard, intense and long because this monster has the ability to cling on to her very core, influencing her thoughts and actions. It made Jennifer think that she’s nothing without it. That the monster is her identity. Our heroine’s first conflict was whether she should seek professional help or not. The monster mocked her, “You are not skinny enough for a hospital.” Jennifer wrestled with her thoughts and finally mustered the courage to tell her parents that she needs help. Jennifer’s quest inside the hospital commenced. There, she hoped she could eradicate the monster completely. But then the help she expected was alas, not handed to her on a silver platter or in this case, on a pop of a pill. She had to go through all sorts of excruciating institution-implemented things. And she was sometimes entangled in other in-patients’ drama. And she had to confront other aspects of her life (family dynamics, for instance) that she did not realize were somewhat related to her disease. It became really hard for Jennifer but there’s hope because in the hospital she has found some new allies like Dr. Prakash and Chuck, among others. Will Jennifer be able to successfully prevail over her monster? You have to read this book to find out. SERIOUSLY, READ IT.
I just want to say that while reading, I was eerily reminded of a 1999 movie, Girl Interrupted, starring Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. In the movie, the main character has to deal also with being institutionalized, cramped with her co-patients and hospital staff, thinking if anything of that would cure her. I love that movie and I also love Believarexic.
My favorite parts were Jennifer’s consultations with her designated psychiatrist, Dr. Prakash. Dr. Prakash is like Gandalf to Jennifer’s Frodo. Or perhaps like Yoda to Jennifer’s Anakin Skywalker, since Jennifer is a huge Star Wars fan. One of their sessions that stood out for me was when Jennifer metaphorically described happiness as balloons on strings where most people’s balloons were plump and bouncy and some people’s balloons were droopy. And then there was also this one particular conversation between them when Jennifer was complaining about a hospital staff:
“Sheryl is human and fallible,” Dr. Prakash says.
“She is doing her best”
Jennifer takes a deep, shuddering breath.
“Her best is pretty crappy.”
Dr. Prakash laughs. “You are one tough customer, Jennifer.
Are you as hard on yourself as you are on other people?”
BAM, THAT LAST LINE! Dr. Prakash is implying that Jennifer’s obsession to become thin to the point of doing harm to herself is partly because she thinks that she is not perfect enough if she is not thin. That statement there by Dr. Prakash SLAPPED Jennifer (and ME) hard in the face. While reading, I realized that sometimes, like Jennifer, I am subconsciously a fault-finder not only to other people but more so and sadly to myself as well. This fault-finding behavior limits my full capacity because of being afraid to make mistakes. It is as if I am “making myself stand on the head of a pin” as what Dr. Prakash would say. Okay, I’ll stop blubbering about my cathartic moment right there. What I’m just trying to say is Jennifer’s story can also be relatable even to readers like me with no eating disorder. There are lots and lots of eye-opening conversations like this throughout the book. So again, read this book people.
Aside from Dr. Prakash I have yet to express my high regards towards Chuck, Jennifer’s secondary nurse (because her primary nurse is a bit of a b*tch). I will throw again a far-fetched Lord of the Rings reference here but I guess he is Aragorn to Jennifer’s Frodo. He is the kind of nurse who makes Jennifer less of a patient and more of a friend. He is cool, sweet and caring to Jennifer and has also a great taste for retro music! In the book, Chuck gave Jennifer this mixtape (it’s the 80’s people) loaded with dance songs on one side (because Jennifer loves to dance) and with when-you-need-a-friend slow songs on the other. In this website dedicated to all things Believarexic, the author has so kindly shared lots of bonus materials for the book including playlists of Chuck’s mixtape. After finishing the book, I listened to all the songs. It’s a good way to cool down my book hangover.
Lastly, Jennifer, the heroine herself, is a character you can empathize with. She is obviously flawed (her constant weeping annoyed me at times), but I admire her grit and determination to recover and overcome her monster.
I have a minor issue in the shift of point of view from third POV to first POV on the latter parts of the story. I just could not clearly identify why there has to be a shift of POV. Also, I wish there was a wee bit more of interaction between Jennifer and Kelly. Kelly is Jennifer’s bestfriend in the outside world who did not even get to visit her in the hospital or send her a gift, not even a letter. I love how Jennifer’s relationship with her parents was thoroughly addressed in the book but Jennifer’s concern about her brother, Richard was not completely resolved.
Overall, I would highly recommend this book to people who want to be inspired. Also, I may not be armed with facts and figures here but it does not take to be an expert to realize that having an eating disorder imposes serious health hazards. This might be that story which saves lives. Believarexic is a book with a lot of heart and has a relevant message. I cannot stress it enough: Go. Read THIS.
October 12, 2024
jennifer is SO me. ive learned ssoo much from this book its crazy
May 30, 2019
I cannot express how amazing this novel is. I honestly feel like an entirely different person after reading. I say this about most books, but this time it’s the real truth - This. Is. The. Best. Book. Ever.
May 4, 2017
TOTALLY LOVED IT.
I was hooked from page one. Beautiful prose welcomed me into the story. Yes, for real, beautiful prose. Not the random cutting sentences that adds nothing to a story. No, it was perfectly written this way; I even think it was the best prose I’ve read about eating disorders so far.
Throughout the story, there were so many moments to which I could relate. Things expressed that I thought I was alone in. And all this without the book being triggering or upsetting in any way.
I loved how the progress Jennifer makes is strongly connected to the the way the book is written. Jennifer’s admission remains in prose, but slowly, as Jennifer goes through several stages of recovery, her sentences get longer, she becomes able to talk from her own point of view and she expresses her feelings better as she gets healthier.
This is the most hopeful book I’ve read so far, one that addresses every possible issue related to eating disorders while questioning the consequences of it, and showing that recovery - although hard and a process that doesn’t stop as soon as you stop engaging in unhealthy eating behaviour - is something worth aiming for.
Definitely definitely recommending this to anyone interested in or struggling with eating disorders. I hope it will uplift your soul as it uplifted mine.
I was hooked from page one. Beautiful prose welcomed me into the story. Yes, for real, beautiful prose. Not the random cutting sentences that adds nothing to a story. No, it was perfectly written this way; I even think it was the best prose I’ve read about eating disorders so far.
Throughout the story, there were so many moments to which I could relate. Things expressed that I thought I was alone in. And all this without the book being triggering or upsetting in any way.
I loved how the progress Jennifer makes is strongly connected to the the way the book is written. Jennifer’s admission remains in prose, but slowly, as Jennifer goes through several stages of recovery, her sentences get longer, she becomes able to talk from her own point of view and she expresses her feelings better as she gets healthier.
This is the most hopeful book I’ve read so far, one that addresses every possible issue related to eating disorders while questioning the consequences of it, and showing that recovery - although hard and a process that doesn’t stop as soon as you stop engaging in unhealthy eating behaviour - is something worth aiming for.
Definitely definitely recommending this to anyone interested in or struggling with eating disorders. I hope it will uplift your soul as it uplifted mine.
July 20, 2015
“Do I want to die from the inside out or the outside in?” - Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls
fifteen-year old Jennifer Johnson reaches out to her family for help. she knows she has an eating disorder but her parents refuse to believe her until a pre-admission screening interview with the Director of the Eating Disorders Unit at Samuel Tuke Center, Syracuse, New York confirms her condition. Jennifer has bulimarexia, a combination of bulimia and anorexia. from November 21, 1988 to January 27, 1989, Jennifer goes through an intensive and oftentimes embarrassing process of individual, family and group therapies, supervised weigh-ins and medication, proscribed classes for wellness, nutrition, body image and to top it all - eating and drinking everything served to her.
forget that it is cliche but the truth is always strangest than the best fiction a creative mind could conjure. Believarexic is a testament to that. it was written as a response to a promise made by the author when she was undergoing treatment - a promise she vowed to fulfill to her teenage self and which she did years later.
Jennifer's story may be shocking, informative, an eye-opener, heart-breaking, etc. to most of us but it is also a manifesto of personal victory. without her conscious decision to seek help and stick to the treatment, Jennifer would have ended up a statistic like so many others we read or hear about.
after reading this autobiographical novel, i agree with author J.J. Johnson that there is more to living other than obsessing over food, one's image and weight. it is my hope that Believarexic reaches a lot of people - young and old. i pray that it inspires as well not only those with eating disorders to take that crucial first step to recovery but also any individual who needs help (or who knows someone who does) and who wants to live a better, healthier and more fulfilling existence.
*Believarexic ships on October 1, 2015. those interested can read J.J. Johnson's actual journal from her hospitalization on her website www.believarexic.com
*received a copy for review via Edelweiss
fifteen-year old Jennifer Johnson reaches out to her family for help. she knows she has an eating disorder but her parents refuse to believe her until a pre-admission screening interview with the Director of the Eating Disorders Unit at Samuel Tuke Center, Syracuse, New York confirms her condition. Jennifer has bulimarexia, a combination of bulimia and anorexia. from November 21, 1988 to January 27, 1989, Jennifer goes through an intensive and oftentimes embarrassing process of individual, family and group therapies, supervised weigh-ins and medication, proscribed classes for wellness, nutrition, body image and to top it all - eating and drinking everything served to her.
forget that it is cliche but the truth is always strangest than the best fiction a creative mind could conjure. Believarexic is a testament to that. it was written as a response to a promise made by the author when she was undergoing treatment - a promise she vowed to fulfill to her teenage self and which she did years later.
Jennifer's story may be shocking, informative, an eye-opener, heart-breaking, etc. to most of us but it is also a manifesto of personal victory. without her conscious decision to seek help and stick to the treatment, Jennifer would have ended up a statistic like so many others we read or hear about.
after reading this autobiographical novel, i agree with author J.J. Johnson that there is more to living other than obsessing over food, one's image and weight. it is my hope that Believarexic reaches a lot of people - young and old. i pray that it inspires as well not only those with eating disorders to take that crucial first step to recovery but also any individual who needs help (or who knows someone who does) and who wants to live a better, healthier and more fulfilling existence.
*Believarexic ships on October 1, 2015. those interested can read J.J. Johnson's actual journal from her hospitalization on her website www.believarexic.com
*received a copy for review via Edelweiss
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