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The Way They Learn

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Draw out the best in your children—by understanding the way they learn. If you’re frustrated that your child isn’t learning the way you did, chances are they are too! In this practical resource, Cynthia Ulrich Tobias explains that understanding how you both learn can make all the difference.Using expertise in education and learning styles, Tobias offers practical guidance for teaching to your child’s strengths—both at home and in school—even when his or her learning style is very different from your own. Enlightening and informative, this book will help with these different ways children perceive and order informationFour learning styles and how your style and your child’s may differHow to bring out your child’s greatest strengthsWays to help your child grasp and remember what’s being taughtTips for advocating for your child with teachersHow your involvement can increase your child’s success at schoolWhether you’re a parent, grandparent, or teacher, this book offers concrete help for guiding the children in your care onto their very best path to learning—now and for a lifetime.

152 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1994

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About the author

Cynthia Ulrich Tobias

24 books80 followers
Cynthia Tobias received her Master’s Degree from Seattle Pacific University. Her successful background includes 25 years of private practice, 8 years of teaching public high school, and 6 years in law enforcement. She is a best-selling author of 9 books, a featured guest on radio and television, a popular presenter for business, government agencies, churches and schools throughout the U.S. and the world and is the busy mother of twin sons, now in college. Cynthia and her husband live in the Seattle, WA area.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 137 reviews
Profile Image for Lisa.
543 reviews
February 2, 2021
This book introduces five different learning style models to help understand people and their natural strengths and preferences: Gregoric's Mind-Styles Model (Concrete-Sequential, Abstract-Sequential, Abstract-Random, Concrete-Random), Dunn and Dunn's Environmental Preferences (How we concentrate), Barbe-Swassing's Modalities (How we remember: Auditory, Visual, Kinesthetic), Witkin's Global/Analytical Information Process (How we understand), and Gardner's Multiple Intelligences (Linguistic, Logical-Mathematical, Spatial, Musical, Bodily-Kinesthetic, Interpersonal, Intrapersonal). Tobias provides rich insight into personality and learning style differences that helped me understand my own family better. Summary of notes, quotes, and main ideas relative to the Gregoric model which I found interesting:

Mind-Styles (Gregoric Model of Learning Styles: recognizing how the mind works):
-Perception: The way we take in information
-Concrete: directly through our 5 senses. Not looking for hidden meanings or trying to make
relationships between ideas or concepts. Key phrase: “It is what it is”.
-Abstract: When we are using this abstract quality, we are using our intellect, our
imagination. We are looking beyond what is to the more subtle implications. Key
phrase: “It’s not always what it seems”.
-Ordering: The way we use the information we perceive
-Sequential: organize information in a linear, step-by-step manner. Key phrase: Follow the
Steps; Prefer to have a plan and follow it, rather than relying on impulse.
-Random: organize information by chunks and with no particular sequence; can skip steps in a
procedure and still produce desired result. Might start in the middle and work
backwards,… Seem impulsive, more spontaneous. It appears that they don’t have a plan.
Key phrase: “Just get it done!”

Four combinations (each of us has a dominant style or styles):
1.Concrete Sequential: hardworking, accurate, stable, dependable, consistent, factual, organized
2.Abstract Sequential: analytic, objective, knowledgeable, thorough, logical, deliberate
3.Abstract Random: sensitive, perceptive, imaginative, idealistic, sentimental, spontaneous
4.Concrete Random: intuitive, curious, realistic, creative, innovative, instinctive, adventurous

What they do best:
CS: Key word: facts; apply ideas in a practical way, fine-tune ideas to make more efficient, …
AS: Key words: underlying principles; gather data before making decisions, research, provide
logical sequence, analyze the means to achieve a goal
AR: Key Words: personal relevance; listen sincerely to others, understand feelings and emotions,
focus on themes and ideas, bring harmony to group situations, have good rapport with almost
anybody
CR: Key words: compelling reasons; inspire others to take action, see many solutions, contribute
creative ideas, visualize the future, often find a different way to do things, accept many
types of people, think fast on their feet, take risks

What makes sense to them:
CS: working step by step, paying close attention to details, having schedule, using literal
interpretations
AS: using exact, well-researched information, learning more by watching than by doing, using
logical reasoning, living in the world of abstract ideas
AR: personalizing learning, having broad, general principles, maintaining friendly relations with
everyone, participating enthusiastically in projects they believe in, deciding with the
eart, not the head
CR: using insight and instinct to solve problems, working with general time frames rather than
specific deadlines, using real-life experiences to learn, trying something themselves rather
than taking your word for it

What’s hard for them:
CS: working in groups, discussion with no specific point, working in a disorganized environment,
following incomplete or unclear directions, working with abstract ideas, demands to “use your
imagination”, questions with no right or wrong answers
AS: no time to deal with a subject thoroughly, repeating the same tasks over, lots of specific
rules, “sentimental” thinking, being diplomatic when convincing someone else of their p.o.v.
AR: having to explain or justify feelings, competition, working with unfriendly people, giving
exact details, accepting even positive criticism, focusing on one thing at a time
CR: restrictions and limitations, formal reports, routines, keeping detailed records, showing how
they got an answer, choosing only one answer, having no options

What questions do they ask when learning:
CS: What facts do I need? How do I do it? What should it look like? When is it due?
AS: How do I know this is true? Have we considered all the possibilities?
AR: What does this have to do with me? How can I make a difference?
CR: How much of this is really necessary?
Profile Image for Elise.
536 reviews
June 11, 2024
I didn't hate this book, but I didn't love it either.

The author lays out different learning styles, how to identify each style, and how to cater to each learning style. The information was interesting and informative. I found it particularly interesting that a child diagnosed with ADHD took her test, the teacher adjusted to his learning style, and he showed great improvement, all without any medication.

It's difficult in a public education setting to cater to each child's unique learning style, and it's probably unrealistic to do so. Even in the homeschool setting where it can be done, I believe children should be able to adjust and adapt to different learning styles.

I guess that's my hold up with this book and books like it. Life won't adjust to your unique needs, college professors don't care about your specific learning style, and your boss won't care either, so we have to teach our children to learn to adapt. Yes, I want to teach them to know their strengths and how to maximize them, but I also want my children to learn flexibility.

This book was a short and easy read. If you're helping educate your child, whether at home or through the public school system, this book might be of interest to you.
Profile Image for L.A..
607 reviews
April 8, 2022
Can’t say enough about this book. I’ll try to reread it every year until my 3 1/2-year-old is school-age and until I have a better grip on her learning style(s). Then I’ll keep coming back to it as she matures and her style evolves. I’m currently a frustrated parent of a bright, strong-willed, concrete-random-global child (of which I am only concrete), who is going to miss her potential and get bored in school if I don’t meet her style better real soon.

This book assured me that I have a handle on my personal learning style, but helped me to better understand my husband’s learning style—and therefore communication style, etc., etc. it also helped me understand my dad better; we’ve always been close—similar learning styles—but our differences have stood out since my mom passed away six years ago. Time to understand those differences better so I could improve our relationship.
Profile Image for Rachel Tilly.
219 reviews2 followers
September 2, 2019
This book has some very useful information regarding learning styles and how to best help your child succeed. I appreciate the focus she puts on different ways people can show their intelligence, rather than just focusing on school smarts. I also appreciate her perspective that, often, when children do things that frustrate or annoy us, they are not being so intentionally but rather they are processing and learning in a different way than I am. Understanding this can help us adjust our expectations and how we teach our children. Just because we learn and thrive one way doesn’t mean that is the best way for them!
Profile Image for Yulia.
126 reviews
January 30, 2020
This book was an eye opener. Having 4 kids, all with different learning styles, might be a challenge but this book gave me a deeper understanding and appreciation of differences we all have. Written with a lot of humor, this book gives practical advice as to how help our children succeed. Highly recommend!
Profile Image for Sarah.
32 reviews1 follower
February 23, 2021
I learned so much, not just about my children and how to best meet them where they are, but I also learned about myself and my husband. It gave me tools to get my point across and be more clear with what I’m asking. It has already proven to work in our marriage and small disagreements. We get to the bottom of the issue much faster because I’ve been able to mold what I want to say in a way he will understand me.
I’m excited to be able to work with my children in homeschool and let them express their styles as we move through learning together.
Profile Image for Dana Feenstra.
21 reviews
July 13, 2025
I highly recommend this book to everyone! Whether you are a parent, co-worker, teacher, etc., you will find this book helpful. From a teacher's perspective, I was able to learn about how to interact and help promote learning growth in students, parents, and other adults. I read this book to help me best support my students learning and I found it greatly helpful as I am going into my first year of teaching!
Profile Image for Spencer Willardson.
421 reviews12 followers
March 17, 2020
My wife wanted me to read this. I'm glad I did. Knowing different learning styles can help me to understand my children better, my students better, and even myself better. Ultimately the message is that we are all unique, but there may be some strategies for dealing with those who are not learning what we want them to (including ourselves) that may be more effective than others. An easy and interesting read. Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Dang Minh Ngoc.
858 reviews37 followers
November 18, 2024
Mỗi đứa trẻ một cách học by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias

Giới thiệu nội dung

Mỗi Đứa Trẻ Một Cách Học - Đi Tim Phong Cách Học Tập Của Con Ban trình bày kiễn thức về các phong cách và tố chất bẩm sinh của từng đứa trẻ trong việc học tập, giúp độc giả nhin nhận đúng về thiên hưởng học tập của trẻ và có cách giáo dục phù hợp hơn. Ngoài ra, quyển sách cũng trình bày thuyết đa trí thông minh và goi ý nghề nghiệp phù hợp theo từng kiều thông minh ở trẻ.

Cynthia Ulrich Tobias sinh năm 1953, từng có kinh nghiệm 8 năm giảng dạy, và hiện là nhà tư vấn giáo dục cho nhiều trưỜng tư thục và công lập trên khdp thế giới. Bà còn là khách mời của nhiều chương trình TV Và radio, diễn giả nổi tiếng về vấn để kinh doanh, trường học, chính phủ, nhà thờ.. Ngoài ra, bà cũng là tác giả của nhiều đâu sách, bao gồm Mỗi Đứa Trė Một Cách Học.

Tỗng quan

Từ trước đến nay, hinh ảnh đứa trẻ ngổi yên tại chổ, lẩm nhẩm đọc bải hàng giờ liển đã trở thành chuẩn mực "học sinh chăm ngoan", hiến những em lệch khỏi "chiếckhung" ấy đều bị đánh giá là "xao nhäng", "thiếu tập trung". Tuy nhiên, thực chất mỗi đứa trẻ đểu có cách tiếp thu kiến thức rất khác biệt. Một phương thức học tập có hiệu quả với trẻ này chưa chẳc có hiệu quả với trẻ khác. Với kinh nghiệm dày dạn trong ngành giáo dục, Cynthia Ulrich Tobias viết tác phẩm Mỗi Đứa Trẻ Một Cách Học nhẩm nhẩn mạnh tm quan trọng của việc để trẻ học theo phong cách tụ nhiên của minh. CQua tác phẩm, độc giả sẽ tim thấy lời giải đáp cho nhiều thắc mắc như: vì sao trẻ lại không ngừng ngọ nguậy khi học, vì sao trẻ cú hỏi đi hỏi lại các hướng dẫn nhiều lẩn... từ đó tim ra cách giáo dục phù hợp dành cho con em minh.


Nội dung thứ nhất: 4 phong cách học - phải hiều trẻ mới dạy được trẻ.

Theo tác giả, có 4 phong cách học chinh.
- Thứ nhẩt là "cụ thể - theo trình tự".
- Thứ hai là "trừu tượng - theo trinh tự".
- Thứ ba là "trừu tượng - ngẫu nhiên".
- Và cuối cùng là "cụ thể - ngẫu nhiên".

Các trẻ thuộc phong cách "cụ thể - theo trình tự" thường cảm thẩy an tâm nếu có ai đó làm mảu để bắt chước theo. Chúng thường hỏi đi hỏi lại để chắc chắn là minh đã làm đúng, và có Xu hướng hiểu mọi chuyện theo nghia đen. Do đó, nếu con bạn có phong cách chủ đạo là "ụ thể - theo trình tự", thi bạn phải đich thân làm gương cho chúng trong mọi việc, và chỉ dẫn càng cụ thể càng tốt chú đừng nói chung chung.

Những trẻ thuộc phong cách "trừu tượng - theo trinh tự" thi sẽ không làm bất cứ gi cho đến khi chúng đã hiểu thẩu đáo vấn để. Chúng cẩn nhiều thời gian hơn để suy nghĩ, phân tích mọi việc kỹ lưỡng, và cảm thẩy căng thảng nểu bị liên tục thúc giục. Các em cũng khá nghiêm túc, rạch ròi và thu minh, nên sẽ thấy khó chịu nểu bị cha mẹ yêu cầu thể hiện cảm xúc. Tốt nhất, bạn đừng hối thúc mà nên cho chúng thêm thời gian để hoàn thành công việc. Bạn cũng nên động viên chúng chia sė cảm nghĩ của bản thân nhưng đừng cố ép buộc.

Đối với trẻ thuộc phong cách "trừu tượng - ngãu nhiên", thế giói xung quanh rất quan trọng. Trẻ sẽ khó tập trung vào những môn mà trẻ cho rằng không có tác động tích cực gi đến những người mà trẻ thương mến. Trẻ thường học vì muốn làm hài lòng cha mę, thiy cô, hoặc vì muốn được các bạn yêu quý, chứ không phải vì bản thân thích học. Đối với trẻ thuộc phong cách này, bạn cẩn cho trẻ có cơ hội làm việc nhóm, được thể hiện tình cảm và được phát huy tri tưởng tượng, sáng tạo.

Cuối cùng, trẻ thuộc phong cách "cụ thể - ngẫu nhiên" luôn muốn chứng tỏ mình đặc biệt hơn mọi nguời, và thuờng tìm cách làm điểu mà người ta cấm chúng làm. Điểu này không có nghĩa là trẻ ngang buởng, nổi loan, mà chỉ đơn giản là trẻ muốn tự minh trải nghiệm mọi thứ và thích sống theo cách riêng. Khi có cảm giác bị kiểm soát, trẻ sẽ lập tức từ chối hợp tác. Do đó, bạn cẩn khiến trẻ cảm thẩy minh có quyển tự do lựa chọn và đưa ra các hướng dẫn cho trẻ thay vÌ các luật lệ và ép trẻ làm theo.

Nội dung thứ 2: Hãy chấp nhận cách ghi nhở thông tỉn của trẻ, dù kỳ quái đến đâu.

Có 3 cách tiếp thu thông tin: qua thính giác, qua thị giác, và qua vận động.
- Trẻ tiếp thu qua thính giác sẽ học bằng cách lẳng nghe. Bạn cản cho trẻ đọc to bài học lên, và lồng kiến thức vào các bải hát, bài vè để trẻ dể thuộc hơn.
- Nguợc lại, trẻ tiếp thu qua thị giác thường thích mường tượng ra những gì đang học, nên bạn cản kết hợp hình ảnh với các khái niệm khi dạy trẻ. Bạn cũng nên khuyến khích trė dùng thẻ màu để đánh dấu, hoặc vẽ nhanh các hình ảnh liên quan đến bài học để trẻ dễ ghi nhỏ hơn.
- Còn nếu trẻ tiếp thu qua vận động, trẻ sẽ không học được nếu phải ngổi yên một chỗ. Chúng thường ngọ nguậy, đi lại, nhịp chân trong vô thức nhằm ghi nhở thông tỉn. Vi vậy, bạn nên khiến chúng phải luôn tay luôn chân khi học. Ví dų, bạn có thể khuyến khích trẻ tạo một động tác cho mỗi từ vựng mới để nhớ được định nghia của các từù. Đung bao giờ buộc chúng ngồi bất động một chổ, vì chúng chỉ có thể tập trung vào một thứ tối đa 10 phút nễu không vận động.

Cách nhận thức và xử lý thông tin của mỗi trẻ cũng không giống nhau, có thể chia ra làm 2 phong cách chinh là "tồng thể" và "phân tích".
- Khi cùng nhìn vào một sự việc, trẻ theo xu huớng "tổng thể" thuờng thấy bức tranh tổng quát, trong khi trẻ theo xu hướng "phân tích" lại tập trung vào các chi tiết. Trẻ "phân tích" sẽ khó tập trung nếu bị ngắt quảng liên tục, nên chúng sẽ làm việc tốt hơn nếu được ở một mình.
- Trái lại, nhóm trẻė "tổng thể" rất dễ mất tập trung và có tính trì hoãn. Do đó, chúng cẩn được làm việc nhóm.

Ngoài ra, mỗi trẻ đểu có môi trường học lý tưởng riêng. Có trẻ thích ngồi bệt dưới đất, có trẻ thích ánh sáng dịu một chút. thậm chi có trẻ phải có tiếng ôn thi mới học được. Đông hổ sinh học của mỗi đứa trẻ cũng khác biệt. Có trẻ học tốt vào sáng sớm, nhưng có trẻ chỉ nhớ bài Vào ban đêm. Tóm lại, bạn nên để cho con học theo thời gian, địa điểm mà con muốn. Tuy nhiên, bạn phải kiểm tra xem như vậy có thật sự hiệu quả không. Nếu không, hấy yêu cẩu con học theo chỉ dẫn của bạn.

Nội dung thứ 3: Không có đứa trẻ nào ngu dốt, vì mỗi đứa trẻ sở hữu kiểu trí thông minh riêng.

Trên thực tế, những trẻ thông minh về ngôn ngữ rất giỏi viết, đọc, nói và tranh luận. Chúng có Vốn từ vựng phong phủ, và biết cách sử dụng ngôn từ linh hoat, chinh xác. Các nhà báo, giáo viên, nhà thơ... thường sở hữu trí thông minh này. Trong khi đó, trẻ thông minh về tính toán vượt trội trong việc xử lý các con số và logic. Chúng sẽ có khả năng trở thành những nhà khoa học, toán học, và triết gia.

Trẻ có trí thông minh không gian lại có thể tư duy bằng cách tái hiện sự vật, hiện tượng thành các hinh ảnh sống động trong đẩu. Các nghể nghiệp phù hợp cho chúng thường về kiến trúc, đổ họa và vẽ kỹ thuật. Nguợc lại, trẻ có trí thông minh âm nhạc lại nhin thế giói qua giai điệu. Chúng thậm chí
Có thế phân tích các såc thái âm thanh mà người khác không thể nghe được. Nếu con bạn có trí thông minh âm nhạc, bạn nên cỗ gång hỗ trợ chúng phát huy thế mạnh này. Neu sở hữu trí thông minh về vận động thân thể, trẻ sẽ có đôi bàn tay tài hoa, khéo léo, hoặc một cơ thể uyển chuyển, tài tỉnh. Trẻ có thể "cảm nhận mọi thứ từ bên trong cơ thể", và cảm tháy bứt rứt kh chịu nếu phải ngổi yên một chổ. Các nghể nghiệp cản đến trí thông minh này là thợ máy, vận động viên. Điểu đáng buồn là trong nền giáo dục truyền thống, nguời ta thường không coi trọng trí thông minh này mà chỉ đánh giá cao các em thông minh về ngôn ngữ hoặc tính toán.

Trí thông minh xã hội cũng it được nền giáo dục truyển thống ghi nhận, mặc dù đây là kiều thông minh rất ẩn tượng và hữu ích. Trẻ có trí thông minh này có khả năng thấu hiểu, hòa thuận với người khác, Và có thể đoán đưỢc ý đối phương một cách nhanh chóng. Cuối cùng là trí thông minh cá nhân, logi thông minh chi thể hiện khi người ta ở một mình. Trẻ thuỘc dạng này có thể thẩu hiếu tâm lý bản thân, biết minh là ai và làm sao để thich nghi với thế giói bên ngoài.

Phong cách học, tiếp thu và xử lý thông tin, cũng như các kiểu trí thông minh đểu rất phong phú, đa dạng. Tuy nhiên, tất cả mọi nguời đểu pha trộn nhiều phong cách với tỷ lệ khác nhau, chứ không phải mỗi người có một. Do đó, mặc dù nhận diện phong cách chủ đạo sẽ giúp ta d dàng hơn trong việc dạy dỗ trė, cách tốt nhất là áp dụng phương pháp giáo dục linh hogt, phù hợp nhất dành riêng cho con minh.

17.11.2024
N
8 reviews
December 30, 2014
Overviews learning styles. Humorous, engaging writer makes it a fun read. Rather than boxing your child into one neat little category, this book encourages you to see the multiple factors at play. A really helpful tool in gathering ongoing assessments about what internal and external factors might enhance your child's learning environment. Lots of encouragement to try out different things, see what works, and change what doesn't. Uses several different approaches for informally assessing personality and learning styles. A great tool for a homeschooling parent or other people who are teaching others.
Profile Image for Jennifer Buczynski.
Author 2 books8 followers
August 4, 2018
Great at describing different learning styles and identifying them, however there wasn't much meat to help out kids learn using these styles. There were a couple of examples here and there but not enough to go on! I guess I'll settle with identifying my kids' learning styles for now and look elsewhere for more information. (Yeah, I'm a Abstract Sequential. I need more information!)
Profile Image for Laura.
273 reviews6 followers
January 16, 2018
Excellent, quick easy read about how different and wonderful we all are. Very helpful as a parent and employee. Highly recommend.

Update: Re-read again this year (Jan 2018) and found it just as helpful.
Profile Image for Kelsey.
47 reviews
June 19, 2017
This book was an affirmation of what I have felt for years about learning styles and much of traditional education. I am reminded of an IQ test I created for an Educational Psychology class I took in college. The project, entitled, “How are You Smart” was meant to be a contrast to the pervasive question, “How Smart are You?” The premise behind this project and also behind the book “The Way They Learn” is that intelligence cannot be measured merely by traditional educational standards which tend to adhere to a more logical and analytical learning approach. This book outlines four dominant learning and personality styles with the idea that each person can have any combination of the four: Dominant Concrete Sequential, Dominant Abstract Sequential, Dominant Abstract Random, and Dominant Concrete Random. Different types of intelligences are discussed at length as well: Linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, and intrapersonal. The book utilizes questionnaires, checklists, and descriptions to help readers identify the learning styles and personalities of their children and themselves. There are many useful tips and ideas for communicating with and helping each style learn and grow. This book was particularly helpful to me as one who is planning to home educate. Now I feel more equipped to select curriculums and plan lessons that are more geared toward the specific and unique learning styles and temperaments of my children.

I will close with a quote from the book that was very meaningful to me: “Do you feel smart? How do you even know whether or not you are smart? Who decides, anyway? For generations, parents have been led to believe they should use IQ tests to determine where to place their children in school or what kind of programs might be most appropriate. If you’ve been reading this book in sequence, you’ve probably already discovered that intelligence comes in all styles. It doesn’t even look the same in all styles. We’ve been trained as parents and teachers to value the limited kind of intelligence that conforms to a traditional school system’s style of learning: logic and mathematical skills, verbal and written communication skills, and analytic and organizational abilities. If you or your child appears to be smart in a way that isn’t measured or valued in school, you get the idea that others are smarter and more successful than you are. But that just isn’t true!” I couldn’t agree more.
Profile Image for Hila.
427 reviews4 followers
April 3, 2022
4.25

This was one of my backlist reads! My friend, who has home-schooled two of her daughters, shared it with me 3 or 4 years ago; because she knows I've considered home-schooling since before my oldest started Kindergarten. While we haven't chosen to home-school yet, it's always a possibility. So I was grateful for this read!

I enjoyed this one quite a bit. I chuckled a few times at the stories the author included (especially those about she and her husband who seem pretty much opposites). I also couldn't help seeing myself and my husband in a few of the category descriptions. And it explains SO much.

To give you an example, I'm the kind of Concrete Sequential list-maker who adds items to my list that weren't originally on said list, but which I accomplished, just so I can cross them off. My husband optimizes EVERYTHING.

That said, I love that the author cautions us not to pigeon-hole ourselves or others, because though we may have certain dominant ways of learning and perceiving information, we still have aspects of other types. And we can *learn* other types too!

I just thought this book was a great look at different types of intelligences as well as different learning types. Now I'll try to notice how my kids learn best!

If I have any complaints, it's that I think it needed a little more editing checks.
Profile Image for Meg.
119 reviews23 followers
February 25, 2023
This was a wonderful book, and it’s a TERRIFIC introduction to learning styles that I think all teachers and every homeschool parent would benefit from reading. So many of the conflicts we can have with our kids/students boil down to differences in learning style, how we take in and process information. When we’re able to recognize those differences and have the knowledge and humility to acknowledge the value of doing things differently, we can avoid so much conflict and frustration. We can also avoid giving our kids or students the implied message that something is wrong with them when, in fact, they are simply different from us - and there’s nothing wrong with that!

This book is brief and to the point, a quick read and packed full of useful information without getting too wordy or heady. The author offers clear examples that illustrate the concepts well. HIGHLY recommended!

I’ve done quite a bit of reading on learning styles, so for me personally, some of the material was already familiar, but there were a few new bits I was able to glean. I liked the Concrete/Abstract and Sequential/Random dichotomies and will likely spend more time chewing on those!
Profile Image for Thành Trần.
61 reviews1 follower
August 21, 2023
The book discusses various learning styles, which are categorized into four combinations of perception (specific, abstract) and organization (sequential, random). Each style within these four learning styles is extensively described throughout the book, helping us recognize our own inclinations and preferences. This enables us to apply the appropriate style to ourselves and our children. Alongside these learning styles, the book also introduces different ways of focusing (where conceptual learning takes place), retaining information (auditory, visual, or kinesthetic), and understanding (analytical or holistic). The book also briefly touches on seven different types of intelligences, helping us understand that intelligence is not solely based on IQ or logical analysis.

Ultimately, once you have identified your own learning style and that of your child, you can apply them; however, it's important not to be overly rigid. No one embodies all the characteristics of a single learning style, and nobody can impose their style on others. It's better to use your own style as a foundation and harmonize it with different styles to achieve the best results.
Profile Image for Jesse van Doorn.
109 reviews4 followers
July 29, 2019
Generally unimpressive. Particularly annoyed by the portion pushing the idea that everyone is equally smart if we could just figure out which type of smart any person is. This idea is obviously false. The book lists 7 ways to be intelligent. Assuming we could make a perfect test to score people from 0-10 in each category we'd have some people much closer to 70 (7 perfect 10s) and others much closer to 0. Let's not pretend that it would all even out and we'd all get around 35.

Once you recognize this, it becomes insidious because she's tied human value to being smart and then made it okay by saying we're all equally smart. This is not a sound basis for human value and as differing levels of smart-ness become apparent it undermines the value of the less smart people. You have to give people value independent of their ability or you're taking the first steps down the road of eugenics. In this book it's pretty clearly just laziness and not malice, but it's disappointing all the same.
Profile Image for Jamey.
290 reviews2 followers
September 7, 2019
I thought this book would be a lot more “cut and dry” than it actually was. I began the book with the assumption that it would go something like this:
1. Here are a few learning styles.
2. Find which one your child is.
3. Here is how to teach to that learning style.
Unfortunately, it was nothing like that. Apparently there are multiple learning styles for multiple facets of our being: How our minds work, our preferred study environment, how we remember things, how we study, and our different areas of intelligence. AND THEN, our learning style is a combination of all of those combined! (not to mention the studies not covered in this book)
So the moral of the book is to be prepared for kids that don’t learn the same way you do, and to not write them off as unintelligent, but learn to teach in a way more suitable to their learning style.
A very informative read, just not what I was expecting.
254 reviews2 followers
April 21, 2021
Looooooooove this book. From a parenting perspective or a teaching perspective. So insightful.
I loved the quizzes that it had to help you figure out what yours or your child's type was, but then also had great explanations with scenarios to help you really see your child. And then the practical advice. Oh man. Totally worth it's price. Buy it. I thought it was just going to go over modalities, which I am well aware of, but it also goes over four other types of learning styles. At the end, the author puts all of them together to really hammer home that every learner is different and needs different things.

My mother used this book to help her understand my older sister, and now I'm using it to try and stay ahead of understanding my son. I only wish I'd found this book sooner, when I was actively teaching.

If you are a teacher or a parent, buy this.
Profile Image for Melanie Tillman.
Author 4 books17 followers
July 5, 2025
This book was so informative and helpful, even as a mom of teens. I discussed parts of this book with my kids as I read and had them take some of the quizzes. It really helped all of us to understand how we think, process information, and learn. I also liked how the book emphasized repeatedly that people are way more complex than any list or label. Being a Focus on the Family publication, it was clearly Christian, although not overtly so, and reminded parents that each child is uniquely made by God for a purpose. It cautioned parents not to oversimplify the categories or box their children in but use it as a springboard for developing learning and study strategies. While clearly geared towards kids in a traditional school environment, I felt I c0uld easily adapt it for homeschooling. Great resource for any parent to have on their shelves!
703 reviews
October 16, 2018
I see this book as an educational manual for me. Loving parents want to help their children excel in school and to become lifelong learners. One thing is important to remember: children are not rubber-stamped to learn one specific way. All children are unique. They perceive the world in different ways. By reading this book, you will discover how to identify your child's learning style. You can define this for your children by asking four questions: "What makes most sense to them? What are their strengths? What are their weaknesses? What questions do they ask the most?" The author goes on to reveal five different styles that children learn. You will be thankful you read this book.
Profile Image for Ashley.
519 reviews10 followers
April 29, 2022
This slim volume packs an outsized punch. Tobias does a great job of summarizing 5 different learning styles based on well-researched studies, laying them out in an orderly way. I think her real strength, though, is seeing the value in ALL styles and expressions. She does not prize or prioritize one way of being as superior to any other, but does an excellent job at highlighting what each type of person excels at as well as strategies to help overcome typical difficulties. It was an enjoyably written, very practical book any parent or teacher could benefit from.
Profile Image for Rachael Robbins.
183 reviews6 followers
February 21, 2023
I read this book in highschool because I knew I wanted to be a teacher. 15 years later, it still shapes how I think about my students. I like Tobias' approach because she doesn't take one psychology of learning and make it the complete sum of children (as too many do). Instead, she categorizes learning theories as ways you remember - or learn - or study... And she gives a broad overview of the various subsets and styles in each approach. Then she concludes with identifying questions to help you or your student identify your learning style and utilize it more effectively.
1,024 reviews12 followers
August 23, 2017
I wanted to find something to help me understand the learning style of one of my children. Happily the way, I identified each one in my family, while looking at mind-styles, environmental preferences, strategies for remembering, information processing styles and multiple intelligence. Some learning styles are tricky and misunderstood by those teaching. Being willing to accommodate children's styles result in more learning and less conflict!
Profile Image for Britt Any.
17 reviews7 followers
December 1, 2018
It's an easy read and a great introduction to the depth of various learning styles.

I think that it would be ideal for those struggling with 'difficult children', the inability to absorb information in some of your own courses, if you are having differences with others that you're wanting to resolve, or if you are planning to teach.

All-in-all it took me a few hours to read and it's equipped me with some language I need to communicate my needs with a group project.

Profile Image for Sarah Stegeman.
78 reviews1 follower
April 26, 2020
This book was epically helpful in understanding how my very intense daughter thinks and learns. I have a much better understanding of both her and myself now. The address bonus is that I can understand my husband and my son more clearly too! I will definitely be keeping this on hand through the years as my kids grow up!
Profile Image for Helfren.
896 reviews10 followers
May 26, 2020
The different type of children AR, CR and other learning personality have a great impact on how to teach your children. Using the guideline of these personalities, we can better help the development of knowledge of the youngster to better themselves as an adult.

A very compact and complex subject on child learning.
Profile Image for Catherine Lowe.
159 reviews
June 18, 2020
A friend recommended I read this to get me thinking about different learning styles as I embarked on homeschooling my son. That's exactly what this book did--it got me thinking. "The Way They Learn" is a short, easy overview of 5 models of learning differences. It did not inspire me to read another book with more depth which I think you would have to do to effectively apply this information.
Profile Image for Angela.
547 reviews
July 17, 2020
Quick read, and it was helpful in understanding the different ways in which my children learn. However, I found some of the quizzes determining learning were poorly written. Also, there has been much more research conducted since this book was written in 1996. Still, worth the read if you want a quick overview of how people learn in different ways.
Profile Image for Carley Hower.
45 reviews
November 23, 2022
This book is incredibly eye-opening. I would highly recommend it to any parent or teacher. It is an excellent resource for understanding different personalities and learning styles. It goes far beyond the visual/auditory/kinesthetic learning styles, but it is an easy read. There are so many practical implications and seriously life changing ideas.
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