Making Good Return: Biblical Wisdom on Honoring Aging Parents

by Kathleen B. Nielson

Caring for our aging parents—whether we take them into our homes or support them from a distance—is a beautiful opportunity for us to honor them. It can also be an intensely demanding process in which we discover things about them, about ourselves, and about the difficulties of old age that stretch and challenge us.

Addressing the endeavor with grace and clarity, Kathleen Nielson offers five rich scriptural truths to guide our God sovereignly ordains our aging, calls us to honor our elders, sees the sufferings of age, helps us to the end, and reveals what is to come. Learn how, in light of these truths, we are empowered to respond to our parents and other loved ones with humility, respect, compassion, faith, and hope.

Endorsements“A happy mixture of biblical instruction and practical wisdom. It is hard to imagine a home that would not benefit from having a copy of this book.”

—D. A. Carson, Emeritus Professor of New Testament, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School

“A glorious book. Kathleen infuses Christian dignity and biblical virtue into the weighty task of caring for aged loved ones. Every page embodies the tender care of our Savior.”

—Rosaria Butterfield, Author; Speaker

“Gives us the long view of how to care for our aging parents in ways that are ‘pleasing in God’s sight.’ I learned a lot from this book.”

—Jonny Gibson, Associate Professor of Old Testament, Westminster Theological Seminary

“Encourages and inspires us to see the care of elderly parents not merely as a command but also as a joy and a privilege.”

—Carrie Sandom, Director of Women’s Ministry, Proclamation Trust, London

“A treasure trove of biblical wisdom. For years I’ve been eager to hold this book in my hands, and now that I have, I can tell you that my very high expectations weren’t high enough.”

—Mary Willson Hannah, Director of Women in Ministry, Second Presbyterian Church, Memphis

Genres: Nonfiction, Theology, Christian Living, Christian, Family

160 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2024

About the author

see also: Kathleen Buswell Nielson

A native of St. Louis, Missouri, Kathleen Nielson holds M.A. and Ph.D. degrees in literature from Vanderbilt University and a B.A. from Wheaton College (Illinois). She has taught in the English departments at Vanderbilt University, Bethel College (Minnesota), and Wheaton College. She is the author of numerous Bible studies, and the book Bible Study: Following the Ways of the Word, as well as various articles and poems. Kathleen has directed and taught women s Bible studies at several churches and speaks extensively at conferences and retreats. She serves as director of women s initiatives for The Gospel Coalition and on the board of directors of The Charles Simeon Trust. Kathleen and her husband Niel (president of Covenant College 2002 2012, now leading an enterprise in global Christian education) have three sons, two beautiful daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren!

Reviews

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Geared towards those whose parents need full-time care, but still lots of good wisdom for someone who’s not yet in that season:
- preparing myself for my own aging process
- thinking through how to be more sympathetic and understanding towards physical limitations in the elderly.
- encouragement for pointing lost relatives to Christ in their last years.
- the sacred privilege ushering Christians into the presence of their Savior

[Addalai B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed the depth and biblical wisdom Nielsen shared. Her meditation on Ecclesiastes 12 will stick with me—appreciated her encouragement to speak the truth about aging and not gloss over the pain of aging bodies. Nielsen is quick to point to God’s sovereignty and the hope we find in his promises.

[Vaughan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author demonstrates true wisdom through lived experience on caring well for those nearing the end of their earthly lives, and supplies hope for those in a caring role. Kathleen writes in a way that develops trust and is full of wisdom and understanding. While I am not currently caring for aging loved ones, I have been blessed with an excellent reminder of the hope we have in Christ, that he is with us to the end.

[J.J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75

I am thankful for this book and the subject matter that it contains. Having entered into a new season of life, living with Sara’s parents to care for them as they age, this book was a helpful tool to put in the belt of how to do that well. It’s ten chapters are written in a “God’s action, my response” format, and it helped provide a very clear vision for how we’re able to honor our aging parents in a godly manor. That being said, I felt some of the chapter carried on a bit too long and at times, felt like this could have been an even shorter book than it already was.
I would say this book pertains to those with even more elderly parents than my in-laws are currently, or for parents who may not be in good health.

[Robin Langford · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great perspective! Encouraging and helpful. I appreciated her candor about her temptation to be disrespectful or patronizing as a caregiver. I also appreciated the challenge to live higher than our temptations.

[Chrissy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good! Made me tear up several times. This needs to be required reading for all believers who have elderly loved ones. I’ll be going back to read this again as the years continue.

[Michele Nesmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for thinking through the particular challenges of loving and serving elderly parents. The author is going through the hard times right along with you. And she shares her joy as well as her sorrows.

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful Biblical perspective on ushering loved ones to their eternal home.

[Hernan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book was both biblical and practical. The chapter on showing honour especially convicted me—it is easy to treat our ageing parents like children and with impatience without noticing. Making Good Returns renewed my resolve to care for my parents with humility, honour, compassion, faith, and hope.

[Julie Biles · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are many practical and even philosophical books addressing the caregiving of the aged among us. I have read a few but this urgently needed book is unique and set apart from all the others as it gives the reader biblical lenses through which to consider this significant topic. As Kathleen explains in her introduction, this is not a "how to" book covering topics like writing wills or choosing long-term care facilities but she has gone beyond those important issues to those that are weightier and even eternal.

Though the book is relatively brief and one might assume it would be an easy read, I found that I needed to slow down in order to "soak in" particularly challenging thoughts that I have not fully grasped before. Kathleen reframes common caregiving issues into extraordinary opportunities for growth and blessing. I was caused to reexamine my attitudes and responses to particular situations that I have faced and am still facing as I care for my aging parents.

Kathleen has organized the book into five "big biblical truths" about the process of aging and elder care. The chapters are ordered in pairs, with the first presenting the biblical truth and the second giving flesh to the related response to that truth. She does so not as an expert who has arrived and mastered this heavy vocation of caregiving but as a fellow traveler on this extraordinary journey.

As I close this book, I am aware of a greater joy and sense of calling as I more fully understand that God has privileged me to love and honor my parents as they are growing ever-nearer to the presence of our blessed Lord.

[Unchong Berkey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A much needed book for all of us, really. But especially helpful for those of us approaching caring for aging parents. Wonderful eternal perspective. Challenging & convicting as Nielson writes of the humility, compassion, & faith required to care for our parents in an honoring way.

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well organized, biblical, helpful, and insightful. Grateful for the wisdom of those who have gone before me, thought deeply about an issue and write about it well.

[Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

highly recommend this excellent, biblical, gospel centered book on caregiving for elderly parents

[Jenny Mccarty · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic devotional read on caring for aging parents. A non-glamorous “task” becomes holy and glorious teaching us the true source of hope.

[Lee-Roy Ashworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a blessing, there are many aspects of this that is logical and known, but the perspective and examples with the heart felt real aspects handled it was a true joy to read.
Thank you for writing this book.

[Laurin Maddux · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent. A much needed resource on how to approach caring for aging parents in a way that honors God, first. So grateful for the path that Kathleen has forged and her willingness to take us along with her so we might, together, approach caring for our parents in a Godly way. Such wisdom!