Write Till You're Hard: The Best Guide To Writing Erotica Ever

by Guy New York

People will tell you that writing is a grueling, miserable occupation, that should only be undertaken by the strong of heart and the bulletproof. They'll tell you that you have to born a writer, and if you lack that certain something (they never know what it is) you'll be mediocre at best. They'll also tell you that the earth is 4,000 years old and racism is a myth, so don't believe a fucking word they say. Every single one of you can make people come using just your words. Okay, you can't force them, but you can inspire, excited, and entice them. You can seduce them, arouse them, and make them fall off their chairs laughing. And if you really want, you can probably make them come and laugh at the same time. Writing is a skill like any other, and you can learn it. You can learn to tell stories, you can learn to form great sentences, and you can learn to turn people on. It may take courage, and it will definitely take work, but if you want to write dirty things you're in good company. Some of the greatest people in the world have sex, and many of them write about it as well. This book will show you how.

Genres: Writing

75 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 8, 2013

About the author

Guy New York is an author, designer, and degenerate who spends most his time either writing about sex or having it. Sometimes he does both at the same time, much to the chagrin of his partners.

He is the creator of the blog Quickies in New York, which has been featured in Playboy Espanol, Violet Blue's Tiny Nibbles, and Fleshbot, among many others.

With more than 70 titles to his name, including five full-length novels, twelve novellas, and numerous short stories, his books have been widely read and often burned.

Reviews

[Firstpersonnarrator · Rating 1 out of 5]

My intelligence has never before been insulted quite like this. The author comes across like a kid who took a creative writing summer school class and decided he could turn what he learned into a manual for writers of erotica. Like listening to a meathead lecturing about how character is really important in sex scenes, and you just have to pick the right single word to describe their personalities and then inject it in the middle of sex. Like, choose one word, “loudly” or “writhing” and suddenly you’ve got a sex story with characters in it. And that’s more interesting than sex stories without characters.

I’m pissed I spent 10 minutes in this shit pile.

I had to laugh when I realized that in 10 minutes, I’d read 31% of the book.

I want my money back, despite not having paid a dime to read it.

[Britt · Rating 4 out of 5]

so honest and funny I forgot I was learning

Writing is hard. This book is both metaphorical and literal.
Guy offers candid advice, in a humorous way, and what could be perceived as “awkward” becomes insightful.
His prose is delightful, and I found myself laughing which personally I think I could do more of when reading these “how to” books.