If I Must Die: Poetry and Prose

by Refaat Alareer, Yousef M. Aljamal (Editor)

The renowned poet and literature professor Refaat Alareer was killed by an Israeli airstrike in Gaza City alongside his brother, sister, and nephews in December 2023. He was just forty-four years old, but had already established a worldwide reputation that was further enhanced when, in the wake of his death, the poem that gives this book its title became a global sensation. “If I Must Die” is included here, alongside Refaat’s other poetry.

Refaat wrote extensively about a range of topics: teaching Shakespeare and the way Shylock could be appreciated by young Palestinian students; the horrors of living under repeated brutal assaults in Gaza, one of which, in 2014, killed another of his brothers; and the generosity of Palestinians to each other, fighting, in the face of it all, to be the one paying at the supermarket checkout.

Such pieces, some never before published, have been curated here by one of Refaat’s closest friends and collaborators. This collection forms a fitting testament to a remarkable writer, educator, and activist, one whose voice will not be silenced by death but will continue to assert the power of learning and humanism in the face of barbarity.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Politics, History, Essays, Memoir, War

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2024

About the author

Refaat Alareer (Arabic: رفعت العرعير) was a Palestinian writer, poet, professor, and activist from the Gaza Strip.

Alareer was born in Gaza City in 1979 during the Israeli occupation of the Gaza Strip, which he said had negatively influenced every move and decision he made. Alareer earned a BA in English in 2001 from the Islamic University of Gaza and an MA from University College London in 2007. He earned a PhD in English Literature at the Universiti Putra Malaysia in 2017 with a dissertation on John Donne.

He taught literature and creative writing at the Islamic University of Gaza and co-founded the organization We Are Not Numbers, which matched experienced authors with young writers in Gaza, and promoted the power of storytelling as a means of Palestinian resistance against the Israeli occupation.

On 6 December 2023, Alareer was killed by an Israeli airstrike in northern Gaza, along with his brother, sister, and four of his nephews, during the Israeli invasion of the Gaza Strip. The Euro-Med Monitor released a statement saying that Alareer was deliberately targeted, "surgically bombed out of the entire building", and came after weeks of "death threats that Refaat received online and by phone from Israeli accounts." On 26 April 2024, his eldest daughter and his newborn grandchild were killed by an Israeli airstrike on their Gaza City home.

Reviews

[Zana · Rating 5 out of 5]

"So Israel does not differentiate. Israel kills all. The same thing happened again and again, in later Israeli attacks. And so many Palestinians realize that if Israel starts a war, it’s going to kill anybody."

I finished this book almost 3.5 weeks ago and I still haven't been able to come up with the words to describe it.

Reading Refaat Alareer's book felt so intimate, like I was delving into his journal. I love that he doesn't hold back. You can really feel the pain and despair in his words, metaphorically pouring from the pages. Some of the articles and poems were so heavy, I had to take short breaks and pace myself.

If you've been keeping up with the news on Gaza, I'm sure you've seen his famous poem, "If I must die," posted in the days following his unjust death last year in 2023, or even very recently during the anniversary of his death on December 6.

This book contains that particular poem and more. There are transcribed interviews with Refaat, articles he penned (in a narrative journalism style), soundbites, lectures, etc. I really appreciated the mix and match of different styles because they kept my attention. I'm not usually a fan of reading articles one after the other in book format, so this was a much-appreciated method of presenting his work.

If you're interested in Palestinian voices, this is definitely a must read. I'm glad that his writing was compiled into this book, so the world can get to know a creative soul whose life was cut terribly short.

🇵🇸🍉

Thank you to OR Books and Edelweiss for this arc.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I watched Goodreads lower the number of ratings down to 18, in real time, as I refreshed the page. Multiple times now. It sure looks like the book is being suppressed here. I'd encourage everyone to write a review. Even if it's just a sentence or two with your rating. I give this book ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

[ashes ➷]

Purchase link here to support the Sameer Project, which distributes aid to displaced Gazans.

[Denisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We didn’t fail. We didn’t submit to their barbarity”

[Thomas Ray]

I do not hate you.
‏I want to help you stop hating
‏And killing me.
‏I tell you:
‏The noise of your machine gun
‏Renders you deaf
‏The smell of the powder
‏Beats that of my blood.
‏The sparks disfigure
‏My facial expressions.
‏Would you stop shooting?
‏For a moment?
‏Would you?

‏All you have to do
‏Is close your eyes
‏(Seeing these days
‏Blinds our hearts.)
‏Close your eyes, tightly
‏So that you can see
‏In your mind’s eye.
‏Then look into the mirror.
‏One. Two.
‏I am you.
‏I am your past.
‏And killing me,
‏You kill you.

--Refaat Alarerr

https://www.currentaffairs.org/news/r...

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The world does not deserve the humanity displayed by the Palestinian people under the most horrific genocide of the 21st century. So it's our duty to build the world people like Refaat could see, the world that reflects the steadfast humanity of Palestine, a world of justice, of freedom, and of equality.

Death to colonialism.
Death to imperialism.

Free Palestine!

[Sofiya Hashmi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book feels incomplete. It should be a different book because Refaat should be alive. He should be alive with his family to see the publication of the book that he wrote and polished from start to finish.

Reading his journal entries at the end documenting of the many times they narrowly escaped death is devastating. He and his family remain under rubble. I feel haunted, heart broken and enraged.

[Michael Santaly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the most devastating book I’ve ever read. The chapters are luckily rather short, but each is hard to get through. That said, this should be mandatory reading for each and every American. This horror we’ve allowed to be unleashed on the world is something we will never be absolved from.

[Jane Fudger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refaat Alareer is a well known Palestinian author and teacher. In December 2023 he was killed by a targeted Israeli bomb. This book is a collection of his essays and poetry highlighting his points of view on aspects of life in Palestine under Israeli occupation covering the period 2010 to just before his death in 2023.
He provides a thoughtful and insightful view of how life exists in various aspects of everyday life for himself and his fellow Palestinians under Israeli occupation. At the end of each essay there is a poem which relates to the subject matter of the essay
The title of the book "If I Must Die" is the title of a poem he wrote for his daughter,Shamaa who along with her husband and child was killed in April 2024. A very poignant and upsetting poem.

A couple of quotes which I feel are pertinent

"Writing in general is an obligation to ourselves and to humanity and to future generations because its usually the most important thing that we leave behind..........when you write you think carefully what message you want to convey"

"Israel wants us to be closed, isolated - pushed to the extreme. It doesn't want us to be educated. It doesn't want us to see ourselves as part of a universal struggle against oppression"

"Don't forget that5 Palestine was first and foremost occupied in Zionist literature and poetry"

Refaat Alareer is a loss to the literary and Arabic world

[Janice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished the book in one day. I simply couldn’t put it down. The author was a professor of English at the Islamic University of Gaza. He was educated in the west and could have become a professor anywhere in the English-speaking world but he chose to return to Gaza. This choice cost him his life. He was murdered by Israel in a targeted bomb strike a year ago. The book is a compilation of essays and poetry that he wrote about his country’s occupation. He states that telling one’s story is the best way of resisting the occupation. This reminds me of how Native Americans passed on their stories from generation to generation to survive the genocide that was perpetrated on them by the American government. The tragedy of Gaza and Palestine is just one more instance of the genocide committed by so-called ‘liberal democracies’ against indigenous people throughout the world. I hope and pray that everyone will read this book.

[Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

[5 stars] A posthumous collection of poetry, short essays, and interviews from the late Palestinian poet, writer, professor, and martyr Refaat Alareer, published earlier this month near the first anniversary of his murder by IOF bombing. The first section contains writing from the last 13 years of his work, and the second section shares dispatches from Gaza during this most recent phase of Israeli genocide and ethnic cleansing.

Alareer writes from the vantage point of someone born and raised in Gaza from the First Intifada onward, and does so with steadfast clarity and nuance. He makes clear why so many might turn to armed struggle against the Israeli state, as Palestinian methods of nonviolent resistance and mere existence as human beings were met with virulence and oppression. The pieces are deeply personal, from childhood memories of resistance and grief, to classroom anecdotes recalling the power of literature to expand perspectives, to parental moments of fear, uncertainty, and love.

Highly recommended as a both work of educational and informational value and an archive of culture, art, and memoir for those who want to deepen their knowledge, honor Alareer’s memory, and understand the craft of writing as one of remembrance, existence, and radical witness.

Publication Info: OR Press, December 2024
Goodreads Challenge: 59/48
CN / TW: descriptions of Israeli occupation, violence, and genocide

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“As Palestinians, no matter what comes of this, we haven’t failed. We did our best. And we didn’t lose our humanity.”

Refaat was an effective communicator who cared deeply for his people, his land, and the written and spoken word. Killed during Israel’s ongoing genocide. RIP

[S.Baqer Al-Meshqab · Rating 5 out of 5]

The words fail me.
Not because this is a work of literary art.
But because of the storm of emotions I felt after turning the last page.
Bits and pieces about individuals who are neglected, unseen, forgotten.
So much inhumanity in this world.. that is happening even now.
But may be.. may be by giving me them voices.. a sliver of hope can emerge.

[honey ಇ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Reader, as you peruse these chapters, what can or will you do, knowing that what you do can save lives and can change the course of history? Reader, will you make this matter?”

undeniably the thoughest book i ever had to read.

[Jacqueline Nyathi · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s no easy way to talk, write or think about Refaat Alareer’s tragically short life. This book, however, gives us a way to do so. It’s a collection of poetry, thoughts and interviews from 2010 up to Alareer’s death during an Israeli airstrike in December of 2023, and includes the now-iconic poem *If I Must Die*, the collection’s title.

This collection is a memorial to Refaat Alareer’s life, and an indictment against Israel on behalf of the people of Palestine, and humanity as a whole. It will break your heart—I wept; it may also enrage you. But the truth of the matter is that Refaat and his loved ones are gone, seemingly without justice.

After the horrors of a now more than year-long genocide, this collection must also stand as testimony against all of us. It will also be a record of Refaat, the teller of Palestinian stories, unbowed; and Refaat’s voice, unsilenced.

Thank you to OR Books and Edelweiss for early access.

[kait ✍️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“As Palestinians, no matter what comes of this, we haven't failed. We did our best. And we didn't lose our humanity.”

rest in peace, refaat.

[Jennifer Abdo · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you didn't want to read a history like Khalidi's Hundred Years War, this book will answer you quickly if you want to know about Oct 7, is it about Hamas, are both sides to blame, what's the deal with Israel and Palestinians anyway. Refaat Alareer's personal account and recollections of past Israeli aggression should cover most of the basics, the unvarnished truth, in a way you likely haven't heard before if you are a CNN, NPR, NYT, Washington Post consumer.

This gutted me:
The last two chapters are transcribed from voice notes posthumously. It's devastating. He talks about kindness despite the destruction, helping his students even as his home is bombed, & kindness begetting kindness. They killed him. US indifference and money and Israel's barbarity. We killed him. His only weapon was an Expo marker.

Please try and pick this one up and read it.

[Mat McDonut · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very sobering vignette of a man larger than life living in the world’s largest open-air prison. This and The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine are great companion pieces. Hundred Years War for your mind and If I Must Die for your soul.

[Azrah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should honestly be mandatory reading.

Reefat was a person whose tweets I would fleetingly see retweeted on my timeline but who I unfortunately never directly followed when he was alive. His words from that one podcast interview with The Electronic Intifada, which is included in this very book, where he talks about throwing an expo marker if IOF soldiers come charging into his house to defend himself was stuck in my mind from the very first time I heard it. As was his now renowned poem “If I Must Die”.

Through this book of carefully collated written excerpts of his experience growing up and living in Gaza, beautifully poignant poems and interview transcripts we have a chance to get to know him a little bit more. To see a snippet of the brilliant academic and teacher that he was, how thoughtful of a human being and father he was. How he was passionate about using the power of words to bring about the truth and stand up to the Zionist regime and everyone complicit in enabling their continued oppression of the Palestinian people. And how he was consistently encouraging other people to use their words to do the same.

If you are interested in picking this book up I encourage you to buy a copy via the Workshops 4 Gaza online Bookstore where your purchase will include supporting The Sameer Project which is an initiative that is helping to aid families on the ground in Gaza.

[Spooky Socialist · Rating 5 out of 5]

On December 6, 2023, the Zionist entity murdered Refaat Alareer. The Euro-Med Monitor concluded that he was deliberately targeted, "surgically bombed out of the entire building." This book contains an intimate glimpse into his life, of the incremental genocide against Gaza before October 7th and of the explicit, murderous genocide afterwards. We hear about the cries of his children, the stories with which he tries to comfort them, and his internal struggle over whether his efforts to bring Gaza one story away and share his vulnerability was "worth it, if anything will ever change."

His poetry and prose showcase a man concerned with universal humanity, human dignity, and the struggle for justice. Yet it's these ideals that led Israel to murder him, all with the backing of the Western political establishment. Almost two years into this genocide, Israel and the West have openly abandoned humanity, discarding bourgeois claims of democracy or freedom to pursue a campaign of extermination against the Palestinian people. The death of Refaat Alareer, and every Palestinian resisting occupation, is as heavy as Mount Tai. The inevitable death of the entire Western establishment will only be as light as a feather.

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I must die,
you must live
to tell my story
to sell my things
to buy a piece of cloth
and some strings,
(make it white with a long tail)
so that a child, somewhere in Gaza
while looking heaven in the eye
awaiting his dad who left in a blaze–
and bid no one farewell
not even to his flesh
not even to himself–
sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up above
and thinks for a moment an angel is there
bringing back love
If I must die
let it bring hope
let it be a tale

Refaat Alareer was killed in an Israeli airstrike on 6 December 2023. A professor of literature, Alareer famously stated shortly before his death, "I'm an academic. The toughest thing I have at home is an Expo marker. But if the Israelis invade ... I'm going to use that marker to throw it at the Israeli soldiers, even if that is the last thing that I would be able to do." His life, as the lives of most Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank is one of loss of family, friends and beloved places and narrow escapes from death; and yet hope and resilience in spite of it all. It is said that the people of Gaza can count their lives either by years or by the number of wars one has survived. One can be 4-years-old or 2-wars-old. It is a life under occupation, a life under constant siege and threat.

Alareer's writings and interviews are proof that in spite of it all, he would not let himself become dehumanized. He encouraged his students to write, taught them to humanize Shylock, to see the world in a different way, even if he had to be sometimes tough with his teaching style to accomplish that. "We didn't fail, we didn't submit to their barbarity," he said shortly before his death in 2023. His life and writings clearly attest to this, to someone who always practiced what he preached - or at least tried to.

The writings clearly demonstrate that despite what Israel, Western politicians and media outlets would like us to believe, the history and violence of the region did not begin on 7 October 2023. There was a long history of violence, suppression of ideas, and restriction of rights and freedoms that preceded it.

Best remembered today for the poem "If I Must Die," based upon Claude McKay's 1919 poem "If We Must Die," Alareer should be remembered not just as a poet and teacher but as a human who rose up above those who tried to strip him of his humanity, who fought for his dignity and the dignity of his people, not only the people of Gaza, but the people of the world. A humanist through and through, he is a clear example of the age old saying popularized in song by Billy Joel, "Only the good die young." It is a loss for all of humanity that Alareer is no longer with us today.

[Mohamed Anees · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Never again" it was said, yet here we are witnessing another genocide, live-streamed. This account from Refaat Alareer, is one that needs to be read by everyone for decades to come. This is a moving, and direct account of the horrors of this very public crime against humanity at the hands of the occupier. There aren't enough words or perhaps, I am not qualified or skilled enough to do justice to reviewing this book. His words are so powerful, as we know he and his beloved daughter to whom he wrote a poem, from where the book's title originates (and that went viral as we all know), were both killed by airstrikes.

I hope those who think that Israel is not committing crimes, can have an open mind and read this and other similar accounts.

[Linus · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I Must Die: A Testament of Resilience, Resistance, and the Unyielding Power of Words

AI writes by my excerpts.

Refaat Alareer’s "If I Must Die" is a poignant and unflinching collection that transcends its literary form to serve as a record of resistance, a cry for justice, and a testimony of survival. Through poetry and prose, Alareer lays bare the everyday realities of life in Gaza under Israeli occupation, weaving stories of pain, resilience, and hope. This book is not merely a literary work—it is a mirror held up to the world’s indifference and complicity, reflecting the enduring spirit of a people who refuse to be silenced.

"A Testament to a Life Dedicated to Resistance"

Alareer, a professor, writer, and advocate, dedicated his life to education and storytelling as acts of resistance. His work is an extension of his commitment to preserving the history and humanity of Gaza. The excerpts reveal his belief in the transformative power of writing, which he views as “a memory that transcends any human experience, an obligation to communicate with ourselves and the world.” The stories he inspired in his students, published in the anthology *Gaza Writes Back*, continue to echo his mission: to give voice to the voiceless and to confront the narratives of the oppressors.

"Themes of Resilience and Injustice"

The book masterfully juxtaposes moments of heartbreaking loss with profound resilience. Alareer recounts the systematic destruction wrought by operations like "Cast Lead," which left over 1,400 Palestinians dead, the majority of whom were civilians. Yet, even amid such devastation, the book finds space for hope, as reflected in his wish for his children to “draw beaches or fields with blue skies” instead of warships and smoke. This duality—of enduring unspeakable atrocities while dreaming of freedom—runs throughout the collection.

The text also exposes the stark realities of life in Gaza: the lack of warning before airstrikes, the deliberate targeting of civilians, and the international community's failure to hold Israel accountable. Alareer’s prose challenges readers to confront the systematic dehumanization of Palestinians and the role of global powers in perpetuating this injustice. His critique is sharp and unsparing, especially in his condemnation of propaganda that paints Gaza as a land of luxury while the majority of its population lives in poverty.

"The Power of Literature as Resistance"

One of the book’s most compelling aspects is its exploration of literature as a form of resistance. Alareer believes in the power of stories to challenge oppressive narratives, much like the poetry of Fadwa Tukan, whom an Israeli general once equated to “facing twenty enemy fighters.” Through this lens, "If I Must Die" becomes more than a book; it is a weapon against erasure, a declaration that the oppressed will not be silenced.

The book also highlights the personal cost of this struggle. Alareer reflects on the loss of his brother and the impact of Israel’s restrictions, which prevent even access to medical treatment. Yet, he maintains that leaving Gaza is not an option, emphasizing the collective memory of displacement and the determination to remain on their land despite the odds.

The Global and Personal Legacy

Alareer’s life and work extend beyond Gaza. Having earned advanced degrees abroad, he could have chosen a life of comfort elsewhere but returned to Gaza to teach and inspire. This commitment underscores the book’s central message: resistance is rooted in both personal sacrifice and collective action. His death at the hands of Israeli forces did not silence him; instead, it amplified his message, reaching millions worldwide.

Conclusion

“If I Must Die”is a profoundly moving and intellectually challenging work that demands attention and action. It is a stark reminder of the human cost of occupation and the enduring power of storytelling in the face of oppression. Refaat Alareer’s words resonate as both an indictment of injustice and a celebration of the unyielding human spirit. This book is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand the realities of Gaza and the broader struggle for Palestinian rights.

[Bill reilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refaat Alareer was a renowned Palestinian poet and English professor at a Gaza university who was intentionally murdered by the IDF for his outspoken views on the genocide. The school has been reduced to rubble.
I became aware of him after seeing a video of Max Blumenthal giving an emotional tribute to his good friend. Max is the most tenacious and brave journalist in America and his Grayzone website is a must see for those seeking out honest reporting. Blumenthal lived in Gaza and was received with kindness by the residents of that city.
The conflict did not begin on October 7, 2023. Descendants of the 1948 Nakba where 700,000 Palestinians were driven off of their land has been whitewashed from most history books. Alareer tells some of the stories and recounts being beaten by IDF soldiers for throwing stones. Other children were shot dead and he considered himself one of the lucky ones.
Refaat was a gifted poet and he must not be forgotten for standing up to occupation and tyranny. May his soul rest in peace and Free Palestine🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸.

[Teo · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, so many haunting passages. There really isn't much that can be said in relation to this other than free Palestine!!!!!!!!!

[Care]

How to even describe what it feels like to read this knowing Alareer has left us, been murdered by Israeli forces.
It feels like reading his diary at the same time as hearing his calls from the beyond. Like meeting a new friend that you know you will never see again and it's such a devastation to know he's already gone. It's such a massive loss to literature and to his family.
Every poet is a loss, every plumber, every teacher, every child, every nurse, every person is someone we cannot get back. We mourn the dead and we must fight like hell for those living in Palestine.

[Mira Cappello · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most powerful & difficult books I’ve ever read. Cannot recommend enough. Thank you, Refaat.

[Dajana · Rating 4 out of 5]

All I can say is fuck.

[Tala Alfoqaha]

Buy through the Sameer Project to support Palestinians in Gaza: https://open-books-a-poem-emporium.my...

I don’t think I have the words to describe what it feels like to read this - to read how sincerely Refaat believed in the power of storytelling to change hearts and challenge oppression - and to know what the occupiers and colonizers did to him, and are still doing.

[Victoria Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Reader, as you peruse these chapters, what can or will you do, knowing that what you do can save lives and can change the course of history? Reader, will you make this matter?"