How to Be a Canadian

by Will Ferguson, Ian Ferguson

Being Canadian can be a chore, says Will Ferguson, but it can be a lot of fun, too. For this follow-up to his runaway bestseller Why I Hate Canadians, Ferguson, a Canuck himself, recruited his brother Ian to create this ultimate guide to the country's cultural quirks, from diet and sex to sports and politics. The result is a nonstop comic ride through such topics as "Canadian Cuisine—and How to Avoid It," "Regional Harmony (Who to Hate and Why)," and "How to Make Love Like a Canadian."

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Canada, Comedy, Travel, Cultural, Essays

276 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2003

About the author

Will Ferguson is an award-winning travel writer and novelist. His last work of fiction, 419, won the Scotiabank Giller Prize. He has won the Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour a record-tying three times and has been nominated for both the IMPAC Dublin Literary Award and a Commonwealth Writers’ Prize. His new novel, The Shoe on the Roof, will be released October 17, 2017. Visit him at WillFerguson.ca

Ferguson studied film production and screenwriting at York University in Toronto, graduating with a B.F.A. in 1990. He joined the Japan Exchange Teachers Programme (JET) soon after and spent five years in Asia. He married his wife Terumi in Kumamoto, Japan, in 1995. They now live in Calgary with their two sons. After coming back from Japan he experienced a reverse culture shock, which became the basis for his first book Why I Hate Canadians. With his brother, Ian Ferguson, he wrote the bestselling sequel How to be a Canadian. Ferguson details his experiences hitchhiking across Japan in Hokkaido Highway Blues (later retitled Hitching Rides with Buddha), his travels across Canada in Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw, and a journey through central Africa in Road Trip Rwanda. His debut novel, Happiness, was sold into 23 languages around the world. He has written for The New York Times, Esquire UK, and Canadian Geographic magazine.

Reviews

[Sasha · Rating 1 out of 5]

Let's be real: this book is mostly a regurgitation of all the well-worn Canadian stereotypes that are becoming less and less relevant as Canada takes on a different character in the 21st century. I picked HtbaC up in my favourite thrift shop for about $4, and that was probably paying too much. I guffawed at the digs on BC and Victoria, but that was really it. The book is filled with cheap laughs, and since it was first published in 2001, many references and jokes are outdated. Topical humour has a short shelf life. Others may enjoy this book (the literary equivalent of a bag of Doritos, or something) but I think it's safe to say that humour writing for the masses is not my thing.

[BrokenTune · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny, but trying too hard towards the end.

However, there are some great passages - like this one on Canadian fiction writing:

"Handy tip! Write about a family gathering, a funeral or some sort of homecoming. That's the easiest way to bring characters together without having to construct a plot. And make sure to include the free-spirited sister, the recovering alcoholic brother, the other sister (the one who gave up on her dreams and is married to an abusive and/or aloof man) and - last but not least - the standard-issue abusive and/or aloof father figure. Add to the mix some cryptic dialogue about a past betrayal, maybe a dark secret or two, and half-bake at 40F. Do you see how these things just write themselves?"

Sadly, this does remind me of a few books, not all of them Canadian, though.

[Colin Birge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things I learned from this book:

1. How Canadian Government Works. "It doesn't."
2. Screech. "The national drink of Newfoundland. Cheap rum. Cheap Jamaican rum. Wrathful, fire-breathing, eyeball-bleeding, down the hatch, sear-yer-gut and melt-yer-eyebrows Jamaican rotgut."
3. Saskatchewan: "Original name: Ksiskatchewanisipi. Are you serious? Yes. Why did they change it? Because they didn't want to have a name that was difficult to pronounce or spell. Are you kidding? No."
4. Curling. "A sport of great skill in which players compete to see who can drink the most and still stand on ice."

...and much, much more. Quite educational, really.

[Matthew Lloyd · Rating 3 out of 5]

The thing about How to be a Canadian is that it won't tell you how to be a Canadian, so much as it satirises Canadian identity for those who have it and know what it is. For those of us with limited knowledge of what it means to be Canadian, much of the book falls flat because I have no preconceptions about how Québécois drive, what the relationship between Edmonton and Calgary is, nor do I have any idea how the Canadian government works - so telling me "it doesn't" just falls flat. Especially as government is usually such a ripe topic for satire - as the descriptions of the Canadian political parties in Chapter 15 makes clear.

Personally, where I could follow the book it was good (I live near enough Toronto and have friends from BC, so I can get what those places are supposed to be like), where I couldn't it was bad, and frequently came across as mean spirited; the best parts were when they explained Canadian beer (not actually good if you're from Europe, but better than American beer, which genuinely helped me to understand Canadian beer a lot better than I had done - with the exception that I still have no idea why you'd serve cold beer in sub-zero temperatures), the worst when they failed to understand football (or "soccer", as North Americans persist on calling it because they still need to distinguish between Association Football and Rugby Football, even though as far as I can tell they don't play rugby, either [it's difficult to tell what they're doing behind all that armour, though]).

How to be a Canadian takes inspiration from How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils by George Mikes, a Hungarian writer satirising the British, and I suspect without having read How to be an Alien that it is perhaps more insightful and accessible by virtue of having been writen by an outsider. How to be a Canadian is perhaps better compared to the British Mark Steel's Mark Steel’s In Town , which is a well-meaning description of what makes certain towns in the UK great, refusing to take pot-shots at easy targets like Milton Keynes and Birmingham, instead celebrating their unique character. Comparing Steel to the Ferguson brothers, I think I'm happier being British.

[Sarah Sammis · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to be a Canadian is a humorous look at all things Canadian. The book is short and broken up by topics covering thinks like Canadian English / Canadian French, the geography, history and so forth. The book was written by Canadians for Canadians but is also very funny for its quips about American culture.

The book is funny enough to read out loud. I read most of it to Ian. It's especially funny to us since Ian's brother and sister-in-law are now living in British Columbia.

Some of my favorite pieces involved ways to spot the American in disguise (saying 'huh' instead of 'eh') and the jokes about the difference provinces. The description of PEI is perfect (it's run by Anne the dictator).

So if you know a Canadian, are a Canadian or want to be a Canadian, get yourself a copy of this book.

[Mariele · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of the worst books I have read in a long time. No kidding. I don't understand why so many people give it four or five stars. Maybe because they are insiders and can follow the writers' line of thought. I can't. I'm not Canadian. I read this book because I wanted to find out something about Canadians and their culture. Sure, I knew it would be light entertainment. But this was lighter than light, this was tacky. It contained no proper or trustworthy information whatsoever. It wasn't even remotely funny. Or maybe it's just me and I just didn't get the point, not being Canadian. One would assume that the target group for a book of this title were non-Canadians, but obviously not. In the second half of the book, I could not stand it any more and just thumbed through it.

What did I learn from this book? One example - the chapter "How the Canadian Government Works". The chapter consists of two words. "It doesn't." What a hoot. Thank you for telling me that. Neither does the book, by the way. Nonetheless... thank you, dear Ferguson brothers, for this shortcut, instead of boring me with ten pages on this chapter, the same way you did in every other chapter - even though you could have summed up the entire book in equally poignant, brilliantly stringent yet apparently truthful phrases such as these. You could have saved everybody's time.

What will I remember about this book? Absolutely nothing. Or well, perhaps the writers' attitude will stay with me for a while, which was presumptuous and bothersome with their resurfacing jokes about the book's worthlessness and the idiots who have bought it. At least they are right about that. This book will go straight into the paper bank. As they predicted. Hilarious.
(Not!)

I have never seen Sin City, the TV show written and produced by one of the authors. If it is as bad as this book, I think I'll pass.

[niina · Rating 2 out of 5]

A couple of years back we used this as a study book for our cultural studies, and that was a pretty hard thing to do. The style the book was written was funny in a number of ways, but things got problematic once you actually tried to get some proper information out of it; what struck you most strongly were the really fun parts, the ones where the writers poked and shook and made fun of "Canadians", as they put it. Due to the basic humorous mood of the book it was impossible to distinguish the trustworthy information out of ironical stereotypes and emphatic foolery. I believe I would have enjoyed How to Be a Canadian a whole lot more if I actually was Canadian, not a foreign student trying to learn.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without a doubt this is a book that everyone should read, whether you are Canadian or not. The humour presented in this book is sure to put you on the floor laughing from beginning to end.

I have read this book numerous times and it never gets old. The references to Canadian culture, way of life and Canadian icons allows for any reader (Canadian or not) to make fun of Canadian culture and feel good about it.

This book was my first introduction to Will (and Ian) Ferguson and since I have taken the opportunity to read anything that Will has written.

Do yourself a favour and check out this book right away, you will not be disappointed.

[Teghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A HILARIOUS introspection into who we are as a people....or at least who we think we are. I wonder what non-Canadians would think if they read this. While its based solely on some of our most cherished stereotypes, parts are indeed based in truth. There is a level of embarrassing honesty to the book that you can't help but laugh at.

And I did laugh. Every page was full of the funny, Ferguson style.

[Daniel Kukwa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of the time it makes me ACHE with laughter, and it's spot on about Canadian identity. That said, some of the book seems quaint and overly-nostalgic to me now...

[Zippity do Dah · Rating 4 out of 5]

If this book was not written by a Canadian I would find it discriminating. As it is, it is like making self-deprecating jokes- funny, but also painful and slightly exaggerated.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Ferguson brothers tackle this slippery subject with the best humor.

[MusicalMommy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a funny, entertaining, and quick read. If you want something one step in maturity over HELLO magazine with the same entertainment value, then this book is for you. There are lots of references to current events in Canada from the late 1990s and early 2000. (The book was first published in 2001.) These references/allusions are now out-dated and if you didn't live in Canada during that period, a lot of the jokes will whizz over your head. I was living in Canada during that time and while I recognize a number of the names and events, I can't REMEMBER much about them. Kim Campbell? Alliance Party? They are sound vaguely familiar. So, LOTS went whizzing over my head STILL. As a Canadian-expat living in Europe, I guess I will put up with anything reminiscent of Canada, because it's a way of returning home vicariously when I feel homesick. So, I think I'm being generous giving it three stars for a book that is decidedly dated and wouldn't have a shelf-life back in Canada.

[Shane Mackenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is my favourite book on Canadian identity. It does not try to be anything nor does it take itself seriously at all. Will & Ian Ferguson keep me laughing and I adore the quiz in the back. I read it out to friends of mine and laugh when they don't get the cultural and historical references because they are too immersed in their own lifetime's events. Overall, a fantastic read and actually quite illuminating the Canadian condition without intending to do so.

[Divya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is titled How to be Canadian, but I am glad I didn't read it when I first moved to Canada. After living in Canada for a year, I picked up on a lot of the cultural quirks subconsciously. And it was lovely to actually read it in print. This book had me laughing out loud right from the first chapter! I especially loved the 12 ways to say Sorry. This book portrays the Canadian society in a voice that Canadians know best: sarcasm! Give it a read.

[Judd Street · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but it just didn't work out that way. Don't get me wrong - there were some chortles and snickers, but as a whole, the book read more like a series of weak inside jokes and trying-too-hard than as clever commentary. Perhaps I was looking for more subtle, sly humour... but the book left me wanting. Wouldn't recommend unless you're well versed - and amused by - 90s stereotypes of what it means to be a Canuck.

[Car · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious!!! I was laughing out loud at some of the antecdotes about Canadians and how we live. Written in a very witty, brilliant way.

[Kelly]

This was hilarious. A great driving-through-the-countryside-in-southern-Ontario read aloud.

Thanks for the lulz, Courtney!

[Gerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not the best book to be reading on my commute. Frequently found myself laughing out loud and getting strange looks from my fellow commuters as a result.

[Kateyz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as good, or as funny, as it should have been. Definitely a lot of truth to it, but kind of blah. And yes, I am Canadian, so I got nearly all the references and in jokes.

[Lora · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you want to learn about Canada in an entertaining way, watch J.J. McCullough's youtube videos. If you want a little lightweight reading which will make you laugh out loud once in awhile, read this book. It covers geography, language, food, leisure, culture, business, government, sex etc. with a chapter devoted to the various uses of the word "sorry." It was pleasant to read a page or two at a time, whenever I had a couple minutes to spare.

[Tamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some solid chuckles throughout. Some LoL moments too. It’s a bit dated as it was written in 2001, but some of the content is timeless so still worth a read.

Easy enough to pick up after putting down, so great t read in short snippets too.

[Tricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun satirical book by Canadians about Canadians that gently mocks their cultural touchstones. I’ll make them mad, but they sound a lot like US Midwesterners to me! 😂

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Will Ferguson makes me smile, even chuckle. Seldom do I laugh out loud, but I really enjoy his books. As a Canadian he can make fun of his country, which for an American is kind of nice considering how much they look down on us. I've had many Canadian friends, and almost all have been lovely people (though I do recall complaining about Canadian snowbirds when I lived in Florida. . .please forgive me). I think I have only been mad at one Canadian, and that was after suffering long tirades against we Americans. This book is a little silly, but what would you expect. I enjoyed it.

[F · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here’s another author’s attempt at explaining the soul of a nation – or two, as a Québécois nationalist or some pretentious pseudo-intellectual, although reasonably, would argue. The authors, the Ferguson brothers, readers would learn if they’d start the book by its foreword – or was it an introductory chapter? – were commissioned by Canada’s shining literary woman of the century Margaret Atwood – alongside many others, such as Alice Munro and Marie-Claire Blais – to write on common Canadians and the nation’s collective persona. Ian and Will decided to take on a humoristic approach, and with help from their entourage, including their anonymous source, Montreal-based orchestra Maestro-or-something brother Sean, they entertain readers by taking on clichés and stereotypes and making up an instructions-like manual on how to be one of us, an us very inclusive as anyone who’s met Canadians would admit and so diverse it may seem even contradictory to some.

In addition to its light-hearted and friendly approach to readers, the book is a comedy in that it develops common Canadian identity on clichés and stereotypes, which are mostly true nevertheless, from as many and diverging topics as food, political perception, linguistic particularities, romanticism and sex, and many others. Some parts were delighting, such as Berton’s "A Canadian is one who can make love in a canoe", the explanation of the inherent meaning of our linguistic trademark eh?, their poking fun at Montreal English and Montreal Anglophones’ alleged and perceived snobbery, pretentiousness and fascination with everything British, and sex, on which I have no comment – willing to keep up with the authors, though still undecided if they make a valid point.

It’s a fun and light read, but it isn’t for everyone, as not anyone might be able to sit and read through such seemingly-endless anecdotes and satire. It contrasts with Roy MacGregor’s introspective Canadians A Portrait of a Country and Its People, but despite their obvious difference of style and of targeted readership, their books’ purpose is common, in that both aim at establishing an outline and an analysis of Canadian collective identity. Both successes.

[Sadie]

A great book to sum up the Canadian culture, stereotypes, history tales and political parties in a fun and least boring way. It's a quick read, not the best comedy book ever, but I recommend it to the immigrants who are settling in Canada and want to feel more at home.

[Andrea Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now I know what it really takes to be a Canadian and I am proud to say I live up to it rather well! Well part of the time anyway. We have a great country and it doesn't greater than Tim Horton's and beer apparently and of course our true national sport of curling. Laughing at the landscape and the cultural references of my country has become a favorite past time. This is sure to help those that want to understand Canada and Canadians better or maybe even make you want to become one! Bob and Doug Mackenzie would approve, eh?

[Mark Archibald · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first couple of chapters seemed more silly than funny, kind of like Royal Canadian Air Farce funny/unfunny. After this the book was sharp, biting, hilarious, silly and very entertaining. A few jokes and insights seemed to go a bit too far, but it made me wonder, "Am I being TOO Canadian by being offended by this section??" I learned a bit about Canada, and loved Canada even more than before reading the book. This was a very fun read.

[Kirsten Arding · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was funny for a while and then just got annoying. I get the humour in it, which makes it a bit more Canadian (being Canadian myself) but I was hoping for some actual content. The entire thing just made fun of everything. To be fair, I read this 17 years after it was published so lots has changed.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the book, laughed out loud to parts and had big smiles on my face at other times. Not a book to be read all in one sitting, rather a book to dip into every now and then.

It made me feel more of a Canadian again!