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I Can't Even Think Straight
Big decisions and messy relationships. It's all part of life for Kai. A must-read queer coming of age story for fans of Sarah Crossan and
Sex Education,
written in verse by Stonewall-Award-winning, Carnegie-shortlisted author Dean Atta.
Kai is going into a new school year with some big decisions to when to come out as gay, what he wants to do in life and who he wants to date. Is it any wonder he can't think straight?
Best friends Matt and Kai made a promise to each other to stay in the closet. Matt isn't ready to come out, but Kai wants nothing more than to write his own story. He decides it's time to break his promise and show his true self to the world.
Now out and proud, Kai starts dating super-hot Obi, but it's far from smooth sailing. Is love closer to home than Kai realises?
Kai is going into a new school year with some big decisions to when to come out as gay, what he wants to do in life and who he wants to date. Is it any wonder he can't think straight?
Best friends Matt and Kai made a promise to each other to stay in the closet. Matt isn't ready to come out, but Kai wants nothing more than to write his own story. He decides it's time to break his promise and show his true self to the world.
Now out and proud, Kai starts dating super-hot Obi, but it's far from smooth sailing. Is love closer to home than Kai realises?
304 pages, Hardcover
First published May 6, 2025
16 people are currently reading
4794 people want to read
About the author
Dean Atta
20 books793 followersDean was shortlisted for the Polari First Book Prize for his debut poetry collection, I Am Nobody’s Nigger. His poems have been anthologised by Bad Betty Press, Emma Press, Stripes Publishing, Team Angelica and have appeared on BBC One, BBC Radio 4, BBC World Service and Channel 4. Dean was named as one of the most influential LGBT people in the UK by the Independent on Sunday. He regularly performs across the UK and internationally. Dean is a member of Keats House Poets Forum and Malika’s Poetry Kitchen. He has a Philosophy and English BA from the University of Sussex and a Writer/Teacher MA from Goldsmiths, University of London. Dean is a Tutor for Arvon and Poetry School and a Writer in Residence for First Story. His debut novel, The Black Flamingo, will be published in August 2019 by Hodder Children’s Books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews
March 9, 2025
Anyone who names their main character after me gets a five-star rating
August 13, 2025
I enjoyed THE BLACK FLAMINGO so much, though I'll admit it took a minute to adjust to a story written in verse as it's not something I have much exposure to, so I had rather high hopes for I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT -- even though I didn't know it existed until it popped up on Libby.
However.
I didn't feel any connection to the story or the characters, and truthfully I don't know why this one was even written in verse. There didn't seem to be a use for it and there certainly was no flow or poetry to the prose; it could've just been written as a novella. And while there are some important themes raised, even if I'm not quite sure they landed or were handled with much nuance, overall this felt like less of a story and more just.. random scenes. With characters that we barely knew outside of a rough sketching. With no real actual plot or stakes or.. anything.
I'm not really sure there was a point to this and if there was I definitely missed it. Much like the relevance of the title, I guess.
---
This review can also be found at A Take From Two Cities.
However.
I didn't feel any connection to the story or the characters, and truthfully I don't know why this one was even written in verse. There didn't seem to be a use for it and there certainly was no flow or poetry to the prose; it could've just been written as a novella. And while there are some important themes raised, even if I'm not quite sure they landed or were handled with much nuance, overall this felt like less of a story and more just.. random scenes. With characters that we barely knew outside of a rough sketching. With no real actual plot or stakes or.. anything.
I'm not really sure there was a point to this and if there was I definitely missed it. Much like the relevance of the title, I guess.
---
This review can also be found at A Take From Two Cities.
August 27, 2025
Writing full of talent and personality. Plot jumped around too much but probably due to it being written like a diary
May 12, 2025
New Five Star Review
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I can’t even think straight”
By: Dean Atta
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
As a mother of a queer teen, this book was so much fun to read. I love love love that it was written in verse. This was such an easy read, and was so well paced, that I was able to rad it in a single sitting. This is the kind of coming of age story that we need in this world. This is the kind of positive diversity that our teens needs! They need to see themselves reflected on the pages of this kind of book. Overall, I would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who is growing up queer, thinking about coming out, or even to parents of kids who have just come out. I can’t wait to read more from Atta.
Thank you to Storygram Tours, Epic Reads, and Dean Atta for gifting me a copy of this wonderful book in exchange for my honest review. @epicreads @storygramtours
Link to purchase: https://www.epicreads.com/books/97800...
🏷️
#bookstagram #booksta #Icanteventhinkstraight #storygramtours #epicreads #deanatta #lgbtq #readmorebooks #arcreview #tbr #bookfluencer
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I can’t even think straight”
By: Dean Atta
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
As a mother of a queer teen, this book was so much fun to read. I love love love that it was written in verse. This was such an easy read, and was so well paced, that I was able to rad it in a single sitting. This is the kind of coming of age story that we need in this world. This is the kind of positive diversity that our teens needs! They need to see themselves reflected on the pages of this kind of book. Overall, I would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who is growing up queer, thinking about coming out, or even to parents of kids who have just come out. I can’t wait to read more from Atta.
Thank you to Storygram Tours, Epic Reads, and Dean Atta for gifting me a copy of this wonderful book in exchange for my honest review. @epicreads @storygramtours
Link to purchase: https://www.epicreads.com/books/97800...
🏷️
#bookstagram #booksta #Icanteventhinkstraight #storygramtours #epicreads #deanatta #lgbtq #readmorebooks #arcreview #tbr #bookfluencer
March 8, 2025
Thank you Quill Tree Books for an advanced copy to review!
A queer biracial teen confronts issues of race, privilege, class, and sexuality on his journey to falling in love.
^from the publisher!
After reading and loving The Black Flamingo last year, I was so excited to see that Dean Atta had another book coming out.
I love novels in verse. They are so unique and beautiful and the storytelling always hooks me right away. There’s something about the magic of this type of writing that is so different from anything else.
Kai had my heart from the very first page of this novel. Trying to figure out his life, what makes him happy, friendships, crushes, school, love, family… it’s such an incredible story.
I loved his friendships and how they developed in the book. I loved Matt so much. I understand his hesitancy and how it made things stressful and frustrating for Kai. But that ending!!! Tears in my eyes. So beautiful. Vass was lovely and I adored their storyline. Handled delicately, and was heartfelt.
All in all, an enthusiastic yes from me. Loved.
A queer biracial teen confronts issues of race, privilege, class, and sexuality on his journey to falling in love.
^from the publisher!
After reading and loving The Black Flamingo last year, I was so excited to see that Dean Atta had another book coming out.
I love novels in verse. They are so unique and beautiful and the storytelling always hooks me right away. There’s something about the magic of this type of writing that is so different from anything else.
Kai had my heart from the very first page of this novel. Trying to figure out his life, what makes him happy, friendships, crushes, school, love, family… it’s such an incredible story.
I loved his friendships and how they developed in the book. I loved Matt so much. I understand his hesitancy and how it made things stressful and frustrating for Kai. But that ending!!! Tears in my eyes. So beautiful. Vass was lovely and I adored their storyline. Handled delicately, and was heartfelt.
All in all, an enthusiastic yes from me. Loved.
March 4, 2025
Dean Atta's I Can't Even Think Straight is an important and timely novel that offers vital representation for queer teenagers of color. It tackles themes of identity, friendship, and self-acceptance with honesty and heart. However, while I appreciated the book’s message and significance, I found it somewhat difficult to fully immerse myself in the story.
One of the main reasons for this was the characters. While their experiences felt real and meaningful, they often came across as distant and hard to connect with. Kai, the protagonist, was particularly difficult for me to warm up to—his self-centered and often unreflective nature made it challenging to fully sympathize with him. That being said, I really enjoyed the dynamic between the boys at his school. Their unexpected support after Kai’s coming out was a highlight of the book for me, offering a refreshing and heartening contrast to the more typical narratives of rejection and hardship.
The novel’s verse format didn’t bother me, and I can see how it adds a lyrical and introspective quality to the story. However, it also contributed to my struggle to completely lose myself in the narrative. The poetic structure, while beautiful, created a sense of distance that made it harder to deeply connect with the emotions and experiences of the characters.
Despite these minor drawbacks, I Can't Even Think Straight is a book I ultimately appreciated. It provides crucial representation and insight into the lives of queer teens of color, which is something we need more of in young adult literature. While I had some difficulties fully engaging with the story, I still recognize its importance and would recommend it to readers looking for a heartfelt and authentic queer coming-of-age novel.
Thanks to Edelweiss and HarperCollins for providing me with an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
One of the main reasons for this was the characters. While their experiences felt real and meaningful, they often came across as distant and hard to connect with. Kai, the protagonist, was particularly difficult for me to warm up to—his self-centered and often unreflective nature made it challenging to fully sympathize with him. That being said, I really enjoyed the dynamic between the boys at his school. Their unexpected support after Kai’s coming out was a highlight of the book for me, offering a refreshing and heartening contrast to the more typical narratives of rejection and hardship.
The novel’s verse format didn’t bother me, and I can see how it adds a lyrical and introspective quality to the story. However, it also contributed to my struggle to completely lose myself in the narrative. The poetic structure, while beautiful, created a sense of distance that made it harder to deeply connect with the emotions and experiences of the characters.
Despite these minor drawbacks, I Can't Even Think Straight is a book I ultimately appreciated. It provides crucial representation and insight into the lives of queer teens of color, which is something we need more of in young adult literature. While I had some difficulties fully engaging with the story, I still recognize its importance and would recommend it to readers looking for a heartfelt and authentic queer coming-of-age novel.
Thanks to Edelweiss and HarperCollins for providing me with an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
August 13, 2025
This book was so cute! I read it for the TBR Tackle Challenge’s “Colorful cover” prompt—check, completed! It was such a great read. I’m so glad it was written in verse; it made me fly through it much faster than I would with a traditional prose style. I also loved the small connection to the author’s other novels. Definitely check this one out if you haven’t yet!
📚 Book #73 of the year
📅 Book #7 for August 2025
⭐ Overall rating: 3.5/5
📚 Book #73 of the year
📅 Book #7 for August 2025
⭐ Overall rating: 3.5/5
August 10, 2025
3.5⭐️
This man’s writing is stunning, just wish the plot was stronger
This man’s writing is stunning, just wish the plot was stronger
June 24, 2025
Another great book by Dean Atta, which managed to grip me and have me be so invested in the characters and their stories in such a short length.
CW: the story touches on rape, homophobia, there are scenes of racial profiling by police and by a teacher.
CW: the story touches on rape, homophobia, there are scenes of racial profiling by police and by a teacher.
March 18, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley, the publishers and author for the opportunity to read this book.
I read this book in one sitting. This was my first read by Dean Atta, and I'm now eager to read his other works.
This was such a fast read, especially since it’s written in verse. The lyrical and captivating style made it even more engaging.
In this novel, we follow Kai, a biracial queer teenager who has just come out to his friends at school. This is his journey of self-discovery—understanding his own and others' perspectives and stories—while also navigating self-acceptance, doubts, and flaws.
The book also explores themes of discrimination against Black teenagers, racial profiling, strict parenting, SA, the importance of consent, and homophobia.
I truly enjoyed seeing the group of boys at school being so receptive and accepting of Kai’s coming out. Their support ensured there was no room for discrimination, which was refreshing to read.
Kai's relationship with his best friends was heartwarming. Vass, his non-binary childhood friend, was funny, witty, and unapologetically themselves. It’s so inspiring to read about a teenager who is confident, knows who they are, and isn’t afraid to show it. Shouldn't we all be like them?
I also loved reading about Matt. In the beginning, you wonder if he’s truly a good friend, but as the story unfolds, you grow to understand him. It must be incredibly difficult to be gay in a religious and homophobic household. Matt accepts who he is, but he knows he won’t receive that same acceptance from his church or family. The only time he feels like himself is when he’s with Kai.
Kai's voice felt authentically teenager, so if you don’t enjoy coming-of-age YA books, this may not be for you.
The book briefly touches on the theme of sexual assault (SA), though it is only mentioned, not described in detail.
It highlights the importance of having open, supportive relationships with parents—being able to talk to them about difficult experiences and receive the help needed. As a mother, this is what I aspire to have with my children.
This book felt more like a short story, and I wished some of the themes had been explored in more depth. I also wanted to see more of the dynamics with some of the side characters who were mentioned.
Overall, this was an insightful and important read—an excellent book for queer teens struggling with identity and acceptance. But beyond that, it’s a meaningful read for anyone, showing the beauty of understanding, support, and unconditional acceptance.
I read this book in one sitting. This was my first read by Dean Atta, and I'm now eager to read his other works.
This was such a fast read, especially since it’s written in verse. The lyrical and captivating style made it even more engaging.
In this novel, we follow Kai, a biracial queer teenager who has just come out to his friends at school. This is his journey of self-discovery—understanding his own and others' perspectives and stories—while also navigating self-acceptance, doubts, and flaws.
The book also explores themes of discrimination against Black teenagers, racial profiling, strict parenting, SA, the importance of consent, and homophobia.
I truly enjoyed seeing the group of boys at school being so receptive and accepting of Kai’s coming out. Their support ensured there was no room for discrimination, which was refreshing to read.
Kai's relationship with his best friends was heartwarming. Vass, his non-binary childhood friend, was funny, witty, and unapologetically themselves. It’s so inspiring to read about a teenager who is confident, knows who they are, and isn’t afraid to show it. Shouldn't we all be like them?
I also loved reading about Matt. In the beginning, you wonder if he’s truly a good friend, but as the story unfolds, you grow to understand him. It must be incredibly difficult to be gay in a religious and homophobic household. Matt accepts who he is, but he knows he won’t receive that same acceptance from his church or family. The only time he feels like himself is when he’s with Kai.
Kai's voice felt authentically teenager, so if you don’t enjoy coming-of-age YA books, this may not be for you.
The book briefly touches on the theme of sexual assault (SA), though it is only mentioned, not described in detail.
It highlights the importance of having open, supportive relationships with parents—being able to talk to them about difficult experiences and receive the help needed. As a mother, this is what I aspire to have with my children.
This book felt more like a short story, and I wished some of the themes had been explored in more depth. I also wanted to see more of the dynamics with some of the side characters who were mentioned.
Overall, this was an insightful and important read—an excellent book for queer teens struggling with identity and acceptance. But beyond that, it’s a meaningful read for anyone, showing the beauty of understanding, support, and unconditional acceptance.
May 31, 2025
I loved this combination of love and education at the same time.
Its the first book I've ever read from Dean Atta so I went in with no expectations.
I definitely would NOT descibe this as a regular MM romance. For me personally at least it was more a picture of reallife than a glorified romance story.
(But the romance aspecs were still absolutely great)
The characters behave more like real people than book characters. They avoid talking about conflicts, brush them over. Theres not a ton of character development because people in reallife dont just change themselves in the matter of less than a year.
But Kai still accepts professional help and accepts his issues.
Personally I benefited a lot from this story. I live in a very rich-cis-white-hetero town with little to no diversity. I only knew my own struggles as a gay "feminine" man here and heard a little from friends.
But truely this helped me get into some research of the differences in struggles of queer white people and queer black people just like the struggles of belonging of mixed people.
The mental health rep is also perfectly executed.
At the same time the Lovestory is beautiful and the ending heartwarming.
There's not a lot of toxic masculinity here, I love reading books where men are allowed to cry and show emotions.
Its a wonderful book that I definitely recommend reading!
Its the first book I've ever read from Dean Atta so I went in with no expectations.
I definitely would NOT descibe this as a regular MM romance. For me personally at least it was more a picture of reallife than a glorified romance story.
(But the romance aspecs were still absolutely great)
The characters behave more like real people than book characters. They avoid talking about conflicts, brush them over. Theres not a ton of character development because people in reallife dont just change themselves in the matter of less than a year.
But Kai still accepts professional help and accepts his issues.
Personally I benefited a lot from this story. I live in a very rich-cis-white-hetero town with little to no diversity. I only knew my own struggles as a gay "feminine" man here and heard a little from friends.
But truely this helped me get into some research of the differences in struggles of queer white people and queer black people just like the struggles of belonging of mixed people.
The mental health rep is also perfectly executed.
At the same time the Lovestory is beautiful and the ending heartwarming.
There's not a lot of toxic masculinity here, I love reading books where men are allowed to cry and show emotions.
Its a wonderful book that I definitely recommend reading!
April 15, 2025
I Can't Even Think Straight by Dean Atta is a coming of age story following the character Kai, a biracial teen who is learning more about himself. At the start of the book, he had not come out as being gay to anyone except his friend Matt, who was also gay, but was not coming out due to his family's religion. Kai and Matt become friends with other boys at school, and Kai introduces Matt to his cousin/friend Vassa. Kai meets a boy named Obi and starts to date him but isn't sure there isn't more there between him and Matt. This book is told in verse, which speeds up the reading. The plot is brief, and there isn't much action, but the author touches on many important topics about coming out on your own timeline, anger issues, religion, family, sexual assault and more. This book is for older teens, but it is recommended for places where Atta's other book, The Black Flamingo, circulates well.
June 16, 2025
This was a pretty fast paced novel in verse that I ultimately enjoyed! Being biracial myself, I always feel myself gravitating towards stories that feature black biracial MCs. I’m not 100% sure how I felt about the characters. While there is decent development, Matt just gave me a weird feeling and I really did feel bad for Obi. I liked The Boys and there is a lot of good discussion about discrimination and how black individuals get treated different from people who are biracial. Kai is supposed to be the good grandson while his cousin gets treated differently than him by everyone. Also, Kai could benefit from some good therapy. I also didn’t clock them being British until it said they went back to the UK. This is my first book from this author so I’m interested to read more!
July 24, 2025
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review!
The Black Flamingo is such an incredible book, and unfortunately this didn't live up to that standard for me. While this tackles important topics such as identity, friendship and honesty, I didn't get on with the characters. Something just didn't let me connect with any of them, particularly our main character Kai, who was incredibly frustrating. I also really didn't feel the chemistry between Kai and Matt, or think that Matt should have been a love interest at all - their relationship felt a bit toxic to be honest. I love the author's writing style and the lyrical tone of the verse, but this was disappointing compared to the author's previous works.
The Black Flamingo is such an incredible book, and unfortunately this didn't live up to that standard for me. While this tackles important topics such as identity, friendship and honesty, I didn't get on with the characters. Something just didn't let me connect with any of them, particularly our main character Kai, who was incredibly frustrating. I also really didn't feel the chemistry between Kai and Matt, or think that Matt should have been a love interest at all - their relationship felt a bit toxic to be honest. I love the author's writing style and the lyrical tone of the verse, but this was disappointing compared to the author's previous works.
May 28, 2025
ARC REVIEW
I definitely don’t gravitate to YA anymore but Dean Atta will always draw my attention.
I was admittedly nervous about this, with such a classic teen title but like Atta’s other books, this was an encapsulating read. Written in their classic verse style, it’s beautifully written and a great intro to books written in verse for young people. I Can’t Even Think Straight reads more like a novel than Atta’s previous works but keeps that classic rhythm.
We follow Kai as he navigates sexuality, homophobia, racial profiling, SA of a friend, friendships and relationships. It’s really well done and is a great coming of age story with some important themes. I definitely recommend it.
Thank you to Hachette Children’s Group and Netgalley for the ARC!
I definitely don’t gravitate to YA anymore but Dean Atta will always draw my attention.
I was admittedly nervous about this, with such a classic teen title but like Atta’s other books, this was an encapsulating read. Written in their classic verse style, it’s beautifully written and a great intro to books written in verse for young people. I Can’t Even Think Straight reads more like a novel than Atta’s previous works but keeps that classic rhythm.
We follow Kai as he navigates sexuality, homophobia, racial profiling, SA of a friend, friendships and relationships. It’s really well done and is a great coming of age story with some important themes. I definitely recommend it.
Thank you to Hachette Children’s Group and Netgalley for the ARC!
June 26, 2025
Kai is gay. His best friend Matt is gay. But Matt doesn't want anyone else to know, especially not The Boys. So Kai looks for his people, but there's always something pulling him back toward Matt.
While this book didn't hit me as hard as the Black Flamingo, I can't deny how powerful it is and the way it pulls in a variety of complex issues. Consent comes up in a few different ways, and the author doesn't hesitate to bring up racism or perceived racism, sorting through how various characters feel. There were cute moments. There were enraging moments. It's a quick read but an impactful one.
While this book didn't hit me as hard as the Black Flamingo, I can't deny how powerful it is and the way it pulls in a variety of complex issues. Consent comes up in a few different ways, and the author doesn't hesitate to bring up racism or perceived racism, sorting through how various characters feel. There were cute moments. There were enraging moments. It's a quick read but an impactful one.
May 13, 2025
So obviously the reason I wanted to read this was because I love queer storytelling. Honestly friends I did not know what I was going to think about this because I've never read a novel written in verse, and I've not read a lot of black MLM romance books. Honestly, I was blown away with this story. This is the first time I've ever read a book that wasn't a graphic novel in the Netgalley app because the send to kindle option did not do this book justice. Everything about the storytelling was visual down to the way the verses were set out and the drawings to accompany them. This story hit on so many important topics, and I would definitely look up the trigger warnings if you're going to read this book but it genuinely handled them in a way that was so beautiful and real. How emotive Kai was all throughout the book really made it easy to empathize with him and the other characters. I laughed through parts of this book, I cried through parts of this book, and I really loved the little references to Dean's other books (which I will 100% be picking up) throughout. I think this type of storytelling is so important and to be able to see more of it really makes my heart full. I would 100% recommend this to anyone and everyone who wants a beautiful queer story to read and I can't wait to read more of Dean's other literature.
June 7, 2025
The audio (via Libby) was really good. We as readers get to hear the emotions brought to life by the narrator. The friends going against one another about stay closeted or coming out. Kai to me is free and I love how he understands not letting someone hold you back from living the life that is truly yours. For Matt it sucks feeling trapped and giving into what others will think and say. There’s the religion, peers, race and much more taking up space for him to simply be. I love that we get to watch this development and the inner thoughts as these characters come of age into themselves.
June 11, 2025
At about 4 hours this was a quick listen that I was able to finish in one day. I love a novel in verse on audio and while this wasn't my favorite one that I have listened to (Elizabeth Acevedo still reigns queen) I really enjoyed it. I particularly appreciate the way that it depicted teens at various stages of coming out and who had a wide variety of reasons for why coming out was challenging or not for them.
July 13, 2025
'I can't think straight' is a beautifully written coming of age queer love story. This book perfectly encapsulates the experience of being a teenager when you start to discover the themes of relationships and love.
Dean Atta beautifully presents the experience of young Black and Cypriot queer love through the presentation of Kai coming to terms with being a young gay man in an environment where queerness and queer identity is not normally talked about.
The book written in verse was a quick and really enjoyable read. The relationship between Kai and his eventual love interest was super cute. The relation and ties between culture and gender was beautifully explored through the presentation of characters such as Vass a non-binary character.
Overall, this is a quick and perfect read for anyone looking for a Black Queer love story!!
Dean Atta beautifully presents the experience of young Black and Cypriot queer love through the presentation of Kai coming to terms with being a young gay man in an environment where queerness and queer identity is not normally talked about.
The book written in verse was a quick and really enjoyable read. The relationship between Kai and his eventual love interest was super cute. The relation and ties between culture and gender was beautifully explored through the presentation of characters such as Vass a non-binary character.
Overall, this is a quick and perfect read for anyone looking for a Black Queer love story!!
Read
July 5, 2025lots to like here!
May 9, 2025
Cutesy and vital themes for a YA audience. Loved the exploration of verbal consent and boundaries, and I think what was touched upon with The Boys was starting to be really special. Loved that they accepted Kai for who he was and hope it’s showing young people new ways of being.
Dean Atta is a ray of sunshine and a gorgeous person!
Dean Atta is a ray of sunshine and a gorgeous person!
July 19, 2025
This is a queer YA novel of two friends coming out together and discovering their feelings for each other. While it’s a drama at the face of it, it touches upon sensitive topics of gender, identity, and race.
The whole book is in poem format. I have loved similar formats from Angie Thomas and Elizabeth Acevedo but this wasn't as intense.
The reference to Black Flamingo in the book has me curious to pick Dean’s backlist too.
If you like best friends to boyfriends trope, you’ll love it.
The whole book is in poem format. I have loved similar formats from Angie Thomas and Elizabeth Acevedo but this wasn't as intense.
The reference to Black Flamingo in the book has me curious to pick Dean’s backlist too.
If you like best friends to boyfriends trope, you’ll love it.
March 11, 2025
*Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC
I Can't Even Think Straight is a well-meaning book, but I wish I liked it more. While the novel deals with challenging yet realistic themes such as coming out, racism, dating pressure and sexual assault, I think the story's juvenile tone hinders its execution and overall nuance.
And while I don't think it's a requisite for main characters to be likable, I'm not really a fan of Kai due to him having almost no character development throughout the story, a major example in my opinion being his constance reiteration that Matt "knows how to handle [him]" instead of him bettering himself in some way.
There's almost no plot as well, the book seemingly being amalgamation of vignettes of Kai with his mom at the weekend markets, time at school especially the lunch table, moments in his bedroom, and hanging out with Obi and friends/acquaintances. The novel has potential, however Atta has yet to grasp it.
I Can't Even Think Straight is a well-meaning book, but I wish I liked it more. While the novel deals with challenging yet realistic themes such as coming out, racism, dating pressure and sexual assault, I think the story's juvenile tone hinders its execution and overall nuance.
And while I don't think it's a requisite for main characters to be likable, I'm not really a fan of Kai due to him having almost no character development throughout the story, a major example in my opinion being his constance reiteration that Matt "knows how to handle [him]" instead of him bettering himself in some way.
There's almost no plot as well, the book seemingly being amalgamation of vignettes of Kai with his mom at the weekend markets, time at school especially the lunch table, moments in his bedroom, and hanging out with Obi and friends/acquaintances. The novel has potential, however Atta has yet to grasp it.
August 7, 2025
I know this book is advertised as a childs book but I would argue it is young adult. Just because it handles so many delicate themes.
Trigger warning:
Sexual assault, racism, homophobia.
This is the best book I've read in terms of how it was wrote, the way the text was formatted. The book read like a large poem from start to finish. It wasn't necessarily floral words, but the layout was that of a poem, which is unusual- and I need more books like that. In every format. I would absolutely devour every book that is in that format- I cannot stress how easy it was to read, but also how much I enjoyed it. Also thank you to everyone involved in releasing this as a paperback. I absolutely dote on how lightweight it felt in my hands to read. I have had a recent flare up with my tendonitis, so having a book that felt comfortable to hold and read was a blessing, and turning the pages was literally a breeze due to the poem like structure of the story.
There were a lot of characters, and one thing I love about this book is how everyone is important. How Atta doesn't give you every single detail, but threads just enough into his writing that you don't miss a detail, or a beat, or a single message in this book. I appreciate his coverage of many struggles within various communities, black, white, mixed, nonbinary, transgender, gay, straight, the writing industry too. That was so cleverly put into here, that I doted on every single word.
I say transgender, but I don't what to give people the wrong impression- nonbinary identifying person. They them pronouns. I say transgender as some people see nonbinary or themselves as trans identifying, and figured it is worth a mention for those who do, who might otherwise avoid this book- trust me you are going to want to read this one. I am still learning about the nonbinary identity myself and how different people see it as different things, but I absolutely doted on our nonbinary Vass with their love of rainbows and vibrant lifestyle.
I also adored how we as readers got an insight into a very small part of black culture with this book. The hair styles, the foods, the many languages which are mentioned throughout this book. This book was an absolute rainbow of diversity in more than just queer, but also offered brilliant insight into the lives of people from a variety of cultures. Greek, Jamacian, Nigerian, Spanish. We had mentions of pagans and mentions of a coven? I don't think this book could of been more naturally inclusive- if Atta had tried.
Very few books can capture lives of the people within the world well, this book managed to encapsulate not just the lives, but the cultural differences, the fights, the struggles, the wins, of so many people from so many backgrounds. It felt natural to the world. Natural to the plot. It wasn't just for the sake of diversity, and it is so rare that you find a book where the author can encapsulate that. This was a work of art from start to finish.
Furthermore, you rarely find books with lggbtq where the main plot isn't romance. This didn't feel like romance was the main plot, but rather; a subplot. I really appreciated that as someone who rarely finds books that aren't romance that are also lgbtq. It's nice that we have books, but I would love to see greater variation in the types of books. This book was more about the development of our main boys character: Kai over time, and his journey in making peace with himself, with his relationships, and with a lot of personal struggles I believe many people who are lgbtq+ will identify with.
And having the book read like it was a poem? Brilliant. I will absolutely be checking out more of Atta's books. In the back there is a small excerpt from his book
The Black Flamingo
which seems to follow a similar layout. Without a doubt I will be getting and checking that book out. What Atta did with this book is something you rarely see. It was an honour to be able to read this book. I cannot wait to read The Black Flamingo either.
I bought this book from Waterstones.
Trigger warning:
Sexual assault, racism, homophobia.
This is the best book I've read in terms of how it was wrote, the way the text was formatted. The book read like a large poem from start to finish. It wasn't necessarily floral words, but the layout was that of a poem, which is unusual- and I need more books like that. In every format. I would absolutely devour every book that is in that format- I cannot stress how easy it was to read, but also how much I enjoyed it. Also thank you to everyone involved in releasing this as a paperback. I absolutely dote on how lightweight it felt in my hands to read. I have had a recent flare up with my tendonitis, so having a book that felt comfortable to hold and read was a blessing, and turning the pages was literally a breeze due to the poem like structure of the story.
There were a lot of characters, and one thing I love about this book is how everyone is important. How Atta doesn't give you every single detail, but threads just enough into his writing that you don't miss a detail, or a beat, or a single message in this book. I appreciate his coverage of many struggles within various communities, black, white, mixed, nonbinary, transgender, gay, straight, the writing industry too. That was so cleverly put into here, that I doted on every single word.
I say transgender, but I don't what to give people the wrong impression- nonbinary identifying person. They them pronouns. I say transgender as some people see nonbinary or themselves as trans identifying, and figured it is worth a mention for those who do, who might otherwise avoid this book- trust me you are going to want to read this one. I am still learning about the nonbinary identity myself and how different people see it as different things, but I absolutely doted on our nonbinary Vass with their love of rainbows and vibrant lifestyle.
I also adored how we as readers got an insight into a very small part of black culture with this book. The hair styles, the foods, the many languages which are mentioned throughout this book. This book was an absolute rainbow of diversity in more than just queer, but also offered brilliant insight into the lives of people from a variety of cultures. Greek, Jamacian, Nigerian, Spanish. We had mentions of pagans and mentions of a coven? I don't think this book could of been more naturally inclusive- if Atta had tried.
Very few books can capture lives of the people within the world well, this book managed to encapsulate not just the lives, but the cultural differences, the fights, the struggles, the wins, of so many people from so many backgrounds. It felt natural to the world. Natural to the plot. It wasn't just for the sake of diversity, and it is so rare that you find a book where the author can encapsulate that. This was a work of art from start to finish.
Furthermore, you rarely find books with lggbtq where the main plot isn't romance. This didn't feel like romance was the main plot, but rather; a subplot. I really appreciated that as someone who rarely finds books that aren't romance that are also lgbtq. It's nice that we have books, but I would love to see greater variation in the types of books. This book was more about the development of our main boys character: Kai over time, and his journey in making peace with himself, with his relationships, and with a lot of personal struggles I believe many people who are lgbtq+ will identify with.
And having the book read like it was a poem? Brilliant. I will absolutely be checking out more of Atta's books. In the back there is a small excerpt from his book
The Black Flamingo
which seems to follow a similar layout. Without a doubt I will be getting and checking that book out. What Atta did with this book is something you rarely see. It was an honour to be able to read this book. I cannot wait to read The Black Flamingo either.
I bought this book from Waterstones.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 1, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley, HarperCollins Children's Books, Quill Tree Books, Hodder Children's Books, and Dean Atta for the opportunity to read I Can't Even Think Straight in exchange for an honest review.
After The Black Flamingo, I knew I would love anything written by Dean Atta. When I heard about his newest HiLo novel-in-verse, it was an automatic YES for me, and Atta has yet another brilliant work featuring Black LGBTQ stories therein: I Can't Even Think Straight. The title alone has so much to it, considering how our minds fog when it comes to romance or when we see red in fits or rage, as well as the play on "straight" in the LGBTQ world. Everything about this book is utterly brilliant, from the thoughtfully embedded rhyme, the integrated section titles that display the story, and the characterization, with characters that feel real, dealing with real-world experiences.
The novel is told from the perspective of Kai, a Black teen living in London who sees himself as a good student and friend, loves Heartstopper, and wants to be a writer himself. He and his best friend, Matt, are gay, but worry about coming out. Kai wants to, but Matt does not, because he doesn't want his parents to know. There's also Kai's other best friend, Vass, who is nonbinary and has some of their own struggles to go through. Oddly, Matt and Vass haven't met, so there is some possible story intrigue there regarding secrets or jealousy. When Matt kind of accidentally outs Kai, things are certainly not as bad as they seem. He can be open at school about himself and start dating. The problem is he has a huge crush on Matt, but if Matt isn't ready to come out, then perhaps it's not the time for that relationship.
The story focuses on navigating high school while also exploring what it means not only to be oneself, but how to be comfortable with who one deems themselves to be. The novel also explores the complexities of relationships, including friendship, romance, and family dynamics easily relatable for teen readers. There are also elements of anger and how people act differently when enraged, as well as ways to manage those feelings. The use of the novel-in-verse format is a great way to gain and retain reader attention while exploring the fears and enjoyments of coming out.
Once again, what a brilliant book that any teen reader can find engagement in, perfect for classroom bookshelves!
After The Black Flamingo, I knew I would love anything written by Dean Atta. When I heard about his newest HiLo novel-in-verse, it was an automatic YES for me, and Atta has yet another brilliant work featuring Black LGBTQ stories therein: I Can't Even Think Straight. The title alone has so much to it, considering how our minds fog when it comes to romance or when we see red in fits or rage, as well as the play on "straight" in the LGBTQ world. Everything about this book is utterly brilliant, from the thoughtfully embedded rhyme, the integrated section titles that display the story, and the characterization, with characters that feel real, dealing with real-world experiences.
The novel is told from the perspective of Kai, a Black teen living in London who sees himself as a good student and friend, loves Heartstopper, and wants to be a writer himself. He and his best friend, Matt, are gay, but worry about coming out. Kai wants to, but Matt does not, because he doesn't want his parents to know. There's also Kai's other best friend, Vass, who is nonbinary and has some of their own struggles to go through. Oddly, Matt and Vass haven't met, so there is some possible story intrigue there regarding secrets or jealousy. When Matt kind of accidentally outs Kai, things are certainly not as bad as they seem. He can be open at school about himself and start dating. The problem is he has a huge crush on Matt, but if Matt isn't ready to come out, then perhaps it's not the time for that relationship.
The story focuses on navigating high school while also exploring what it means not only to be oneself, but how to be comfortable with who one deems themselves to be. The novel also explores the complexities of relationships, including friendship, romance, and family dynamics easily relatable for teen readers. There are also elements of anger and how people act differently when enraged, as well as ways to manage those feelings. The use of the novel-in-verse format is a great way to gain and retain reader attention while exploring the fears and enjoyments of coming out.
Once again, what a brilliant book that any teen reader can find engagement in, perfect for classroom bookshelves!
June 27, 2025
I first picked up this book because of the awesome title, and stayed for the tender romance and sensitive portrayals of coming out. Kai has always known he was gay, but hesitates to come out publicly. His cousin and best friend Vass, who’s non-binary, is out and proud and is encouraging to Kai. But there’s so much that could be lost: will his Mum be okay with it? Will his other best friend Matt, who has also acknowledged privately to Kai that he’s gay, be mad at him? Matt’s family is homophobic and worries that if Kai comes out, his family will shun him. Also, what about the Boys? The Boys are a posse of Black boys like Kai and Matt, but they’re popular and straight. Both Kai and Vass are biracial and come from warm, loving Greek Cypriot/British Black Jamaican families. (All major characters are Black or multiracial.)
Atta’s lovely verse packs volumes of feeling and description in its lines. I’m always surprised at how well written novels-in-verse can pack a punch. There’s real suspense and drama in Kai’s relationships at home and at school, and the British setting feels totally relatable to the American experience, along with undercurrents of racism and homophobia. But Kai’s coming out to the Boys is epic – except for one kid initially, all of these popular, boisterous Black boys accept Kai and support him. It’s quite tender and moving. I loved Kai’s focus on writing and poetry, and there are literary references throughout the story that many kids will get. Teens will identify with the voices of an angel and a devil in Kai’s mind, which add depth to his character, showing the shame and indecision that all teens feel. I really enjoyed the dialogue in Greek among Kai and his family, but I can read Greek – it may be frustrating to other readers.
Atta’s lovely verse packs volumes of feeling and description in its lines. I’m always surprised at how well written novels-in-verse can pack a punch. There’s real suspense and drama in Kai’s relationships at home and at school, and the British setting feels totally relatable to the American experience, along with undercurrents of racism and homophobia. But Kai’s coming out to the Boys is epic – except for one kid initially, all of these popular, boisterous Black boys accept Kai and support him. It’s quite tender and moving. I loved Kai’s focus on writing and poetry, and there are literary references throughout the story that many kids will get. Teens will identify with the voices of an angel and a devil in Kai’s mind, which add depth to his character, showing the shame and indecision that all teens feel. I really enjoyed the dialogue in Greek among Kai and his family, but I can read Greek – it may be frustrating to other readers.
March 5, 2025
⭐⭐⭐
Rep : Gay MC, Non-Binary SC
CW: Mention of sexual assault off page, homophobia
"I only act straight when I can concentrate on it. The rest of the time, I'm pretty camp, and a bit of a clown."
🏳️🌈Coming out story
❤️🩹Messy relationships and friendships
What I Liked
1) I liked Vass talking about their experience of coming out as non-binary as different to coming out about your sexuality as trans/non-binary people are way more attacked at the moment. I think this could make a lot of teens feel seen.
2) Important conversations were brought up about black teen boys hanging out being mistaken for a gang and how racist that is.
3) I liked how the author handled the MCs feelings about his relationships and that red flags can be different to different people. This story can show teens that if a relationship makes them uncomfortable, even if the other person hasn't technically done anything wrong, you should still leave and that the right person will feel safe.
What I Disliked
1) I think the characters needed way more development. Certain characters felt more like they were there to get a message across rather than the character feeling like a real person while also getting the themes and messaging to the reader.
Thank you to Netgalley, Hatchette Children's Group and Dean Atta for this eARC in exchange for an honest review
Rep : Gay MC, Non-Binary SC
CW: Mention of sexual assault off page, homophobia
"I only act straight when I can concentrate on it. The rest of the time, I'm pretty camp, and a bit of a clown."
🏳️🌈Coming out story
❤️🩹Messy relationships and friendships
What I Liked
1) I liked Vass talking about their experience of coming out as non-binary as different to coming out about your sexuality as trans/non-binary people are way more attacked at the moment. I think this could make a lot of teens feel seen.
2) Important conversations were brought up about black teen boys hanging out being mistaken for a gang and how racist that is.
3) I liked how the author handled the MCs feelings about his relationships and that red flags can be different to different people. This story can show teens that if a relationship makes them uncomfortable, even if the other person hasn't technically done anything wrong, you should still leave and that the right person will feel safe.
What I Disliked
1) I think the characters needed way more development. Certain characters felt more like they were there to get a message across rather than the character feeling like a real person while also getting the themes and messaging to the reader.
Thank you to Netgalley, Hatchette Children's Group and Dean Atta for this eARC in exchange for an honest review
June 4, 2025
After reading The Black Flamingo a while ago now, I knew if Dean Atta came back with another book in verse, it would be straight on my TBR, and I am so glad that I made that decision after reading this. The story of two best friends figuring out how to be themselves in family dynamics and society where being out is difficult, this book puts you into their shoes brilliantly and poetically.
Both Kai and Matt have a great dynamic on the page from first to last, and I love the development of the friendship group and the connections they make throughout this book. The Boys are very much a group that is 'don't just a book by its cover' kind of people and I love that they have such a strong support group within their school when they feel ready to be able to come out. I can see the glimmers here of things like Heartstopper where those bonds are just as strong in a different way.
Atta's style when it comes to poetry has such a wonderful flow on the page. I really appreciated how he delivers this story and really allows you to feel what is in the minds of the characters even though I wish we did maybe more perspective from the other characters - I really feel this book could have done with Matt's perspective too.
A great book, so glad I got to read this!
(Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC for honest review).
Both Kai and Matt have a great dynamic on the page from first to last, and I love the development of the friendship group and the connections they make throughout this book. The Boys are very much a group that is 'don't just a book by its cover' kind of people and I love that they have such a strong support group within their school when they feel ready to be able to come out. I can see the glimmers here of things like Heartstopper where those bonds are just as strong in a different way.
Atta's style when it comes to poetry has such a wonderful flow on the page. I really appreciated how he delivers this story and really allows you to feel what is in the minds of the characters even though I wish we did maybe more perspective from the other characters - I really feel this book could have done with Matt's perspective too.
A great book, so glad I got to read this!
(Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC for honest review).
June 30, 2025
“I’m ready to catch you now...The Question is: Are you ready to fall for me?”
I absolutely love Dean Atta; every single book has been wonderful, and this one is no different. Once again told in true Atta writing style this novel takes place in verse and is completely engrossing and mesmerising. The illustrations and format of the book are gorgeous, and I adored the little easter egg nod to “The Black Flamingo”. The plot is fantastically paced and developed, and each character is beautifully written and relatable, plus those found family vibes that “The Boys” give off is wonderful.
Kai felt like such a realistic character, and the friendship group he has is wonderful, it’s refreshing to read a book in which 90% of the characters are accepting in what can feel like a very unaccepting society and world. I love that Kai is able to be accountable for his actions, and that there are various themes that take place throughout the book that are handled delicately whilst building those friendships and relationships between the characters. Each of Kai’s relationships in tender and caring, and they always seem to have his best interests at heart, and it is lovely to see such a supportive and caring child/parent relationship play out on page, the book expresses just how much love and support can provide a safe space for anyone.
This is a gorgeous coming of age story in which the MC is able to grow and understand the world around him, as well as himself, it is a honest and authentic read, with a romance that feels inspiring and cute, witnessing it bloom across the pages, and silently cheering the characters on as you witness friends become so much more to one another, with the relationship developing at a tender pace, with respect and support on both sides. This is a read I would recommend to young adults; it very much feels like a beacon of light in a sometimes-dark world
4.5
I absolutely love Dean Atta; every single book has been wonderful, and this one is no different. Once again told in true Atta writing style this novel takes place in verse and is completely engrossing and mesmerising. The illustrations and format of the book are gorgeous, and I adored the little easter egg nod to “The Black Flamingo”. The plot is fantastically paced and developed, and each character is beautifully written and relatable, plus those found family vibes that “The Boys” give off is wonderful.
Kai felt like such a realistic character, and the friendship group he has is wonderful, it’s refreshing to read a book in which 90% of the characters are accepting in what can feel like a very unaccepting society and world. I love that Kai is able to be accountable for his actions, and that there are various themes that take place throughout the book that are handled delicately whilst building those friendships and relationships between the characters. Each of Kai’s relationships in tender and caring, and they always seem to have his best interests at heart, and it is lovely to see such a supportive and caring child/parent relationship play out on page, the book expresses just how much love and support can provide a safe space for anyone.
This is a gorgeous coming of age story in which the MC is able to grow and understand the world around him, as well as himself, it is a honest and authentic read, with a romance that feels inspiring and cute, witnessing it bloom across the pages, and silently cheering the characters on as you witness friends become so much more to one another, with the relationship developing at a tender pace, with respect and support on both sides. This is a read I would recommend to young adults; it very much feels like a beacon of light in a sometimes-dark world
4.5
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