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Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything: A Memoir
Actor-dancer Alyson Stoner's revelatory and incisive memoir—from family violence and betrayal, to eating disorders and religious trauma—may begin in Hollywood, but its chilling relatability will resonate with anyone navigating identity, privacy, purpose, and mental health in a digital age.
Raised on soundstages and studio lots from the time they were six, shuffling between auditions for Disney Channel, Cheaper by the Dozen, or a Missy Elliott music video, Alyson experienced their defining moments of childhood inside the bizarre fishbowl of Hollywood. From being eight with an 80-hour work week, differentiating fan inquiries from kidnapping plots, and TV execs telling them they’re “not anorexic enough” to stop working and get help, they struggled to find stability and sanity in a chaotic world.
In Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, Alyson shares their powerful story for the first time, detailing a turbulent home life with addict parents, harrowing accounts from rehab, the messy process of discovering their sexuality in church, rebuilding a life after an early professional peak, and charting a path of self-discovery and advocacy. With striking introspection, Alyson connects the dots across the entertainment industry ecosystem, child development, and media culture, exposing the “toddler to trainwreck pipeline” of child stars and sparking timely conversations about success and society’s enchantment with fame.
Bold, entertaining, warm, and galvanizing all at once, Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything is more than a personal it’s a beacon for industry reform, a roadmap for breaking the bonds of generational trauma, and a testament to the freedom and strength that come from finally trusting your own voice and power.
Raised on soundstages and studio lots from the time they were six, shuffling between auditions for Disney Channel, Cheaper by the Dozen, or a Missy Elliott music video, Alyson experienced their defining moments of childhood inside the bizarre fishbowl of Hollywood. From being eight with an 80-hour work week, differentiating fan inquiries from kidnapping plots, and TV execs telling them they’re “not anorexic enough” to stop working and get help, they struggled to find stability and sanity in a chaotic world.
In Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, Alyson shares their powerful story for the first time, detailing a turbulent home life with addict parents, harrowing accounts from rehab, the messy process of discovering their sexuality in church, rebuilding a life after an early professional peak, and charting a path of self-discovery and advocacy. With striking introspection, Alyson connects the dots across the entertainment industry ecosystem, child development, and media culture, exposing the “toddler to trainwreck pipeline” of child stars and sparking timely conversations about success and society’s enchantment with fame.
Bold, entertaining, warm, and galvanizing all at once, Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything is more than a personal it’s a beacon for industry reform, a roadmap for breaking the bonds of generational trauma, and a testament to the freedom and strength that come from finally trusting your own voice and power.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published August 12, 2025
3059 people are currently reading
32861 people want to read
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August 26, 2025As a Disney Channel kid and an Alyson Stoner fan, I loved this book! Watching them in Cheaper by the Dozen and Camp Rock are some of my peak childhood memories. It's so hard now as an adult to learn about what child actors/actresses were going through behind the scenes... If you read I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy, you would really enjoy this as well. As with all memoirs I read, I listened to it on audio since Alyson narrates it and loved hearing their story!
August 14, 2025
No notes 🥹
Alyson’s memoir has allllll of the things. Reflection indicative of immense growth, transparency, laughs… 𝕡𝕚𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝚑𝚘𝚝 ☕️🫖 (sorry Alyson, my inner publicist got the best of me for a sec 😅 if it gets em to read, I think its worth it… 💩, am I now part of the problem? Gah, 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 is so meta—another reason I’m obsessed)
What I love most is how genuinely healthy this feels, in its entirety. I was left hopeful, & an even bigger fan of Alyson—if that’s even possible. To be clear, I’m now a bigger fan of 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. Not as a reflection of the stardom, the talent (ok fine, those too) I’m saying 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 the talent we’ve all seen, 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧. To the extent I thought “no way they’re 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 wholesome?” 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎🥹 This much compassion, understanding, empathy, intelligence (emotional & on paper), drive to help others, hunger for learning & growing & being the best they can? Couldn’t be faked for 298pgs, there’s just no way.
Despite having been a celeb for the last 20+ years, this is one of the most relatable memoirs I’ve read & a must read for those navigating their 20-30s. A lot of what they faced as a child star were just dangerously exacerbated worries the usual kid has. But these childhoods play out in front of millions. I don’t have to explain to you how wild that is. & the insight Alyson provides makes this clearer than anyone else could have.
I wish they wouldn’t have had to deal w the terrible things they did…& the industry treated them how they deserved…& they got all of the roles & recognition & love & support they deserve from day 1… But we’re a little late. Thankfully, we now have 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙. Read it & hear them out. This is a story that NEEDS to be made public. Childhood fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be— news to no one. But it’s 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 than we thought. Even the stars who seem “fine” likely have a miserable day-to-day, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
I went w audio & print in tandem per usual. I’m a sucker for memoirs read by their author, & Alyson being a voice actor makes their audiobook even more entertaining. The emotion in their voice brought me to tears more than once. Their singing, spins on catchphrases (for roles they should have booked, if the industry wasn’t stupid), the changes in pace & tone for different people (not to mention the idea of giving their “inner publicist” its own voice—creative genius!), the care that shines thru in their words alone… You’ve just gotta do audio if you’re able. Or both in tandem, like me 😇
I’d be remiss if I didn’t applaud Alyson for their attention to detail. Not a single topic is covered that readers aren’t provided a resource to help handle. Their note in the beginning explicitly states taking breaks it’s important, esp if/when the topics get too heavy or hit too close to home. They leave us actionable items, new ways to think about celebrity, ideas for change. This isn’t a “tell all”, nothing feels malicious, no one is being placed on a pedestal. They’re just…𝘚𝘦𝘮𝘪-𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘈𝘥𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 🤷🏼♀️ To say I’m both incredibly proud of & tremendously inspired by them would be a gross understatement.
I quite literally CANNOT recommend this more.
(Full disclosure, I was initially gifted a copy of this by the publisher—thank you bunches SMP—I loved it so much I bought another copy, bc I wanted to back my review w unfettered endorsement)
Alyson’s memoir has allllll of the things. Reflection indicative of immense growth, transparency, laughs… 𝕡𝕚𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝚑𝚘𝚝 ☕️🫖 (sorry Alyson, my inner publicist got the best of me for a sec 😅 if it gets em to read, I think its worth it… 💩, am I now part of the problem? Gah, 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 is so meta—another reason I’m obsessed)
What I love most is how genuinely healthy this feels, in its entirety. I was left hopeful, & an even bigger fan of Alyson—if that’s even possible. To be clear, I’m now a bigger fan of 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. Not as a reflection of the stardom, the talent (ok fine, those too) I’m saying 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 the talent we’ve all seen, 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧. To the extent I thought “no way they’re 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 wholesome?” 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎🥹 This much compassion, understanding, empathy, intelligence (emotional & on paper), drive to help others, hunger for learning & growing & being the best they can? Couldn’t be faked for 298pgs, there’s just no way.
Despite having been a celeb for the last 20+ years, this is one of the most relatable memoirs I’ve read & a must read for those navigating their 20-30s. A lot of what they faced as a child star were just dangerously exacerbated worries the usual kid has. But these childhoods play out in front of millions. I don’t have to explain to you how wild that is. & the insight Alyson provides makes this clearer than anyone else could have.
I wish they wouldn’t have had to deal w the terrible things they did…& the industry treated them how they deserved…& they got all of the roles & recognition & love & support they deserve from day 1… But we’re a little late. Thankfully, we now have 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙. Read it & hear them out. This is a story that NEEDS to be made public. Childhood fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be— news to no one. But it’s 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 than we thought. Even the stars who seem “fine” likely have a miserable day-to-day, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
I went w audio & print in tandem per usual. I’m a sucker for memoirs read by their author, & Alyson being a voice actor makes their audiobook even more entertaining. The emotion in their voice brought me to tears more than once. Their singing, spins on catchphrases (for roles they should have booked, if the industry wasn’t stupid), the changes in pace & tone for different people (not to mention the idea of giving their “inner publicist” its own voice—creative genius!), the care that shines thru in their words alone… You’ve just gotta do audio if you’re able. Or both in tandem, like me 😇
I’d be remiss if I didn’t applaud Alyson for their attention to detail. Not a single topic is covered that readers aren’t provided a resource to help handle. Their note in the beginning explicitly states taking breaks it’s important, esp if/when the topics get too heavy or hit too close to home. They leave us actionable items, new ways to think about celebrity, ideas for change. This isn’t a “tell all”, nothing feels malicious, no one is being placed on a pedestal. They’re just…𝘚𝘦𝘮𝘪-𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘈𝘥𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 🤷🏼♀️ To say I’m both incredibly proud of & tremendously inspired by them would be a gross understatement.
I quite literally CANNOT recommend this more.
(Full disclosure, I was initially gifted a copy of this by the publisher—thank you bunches SMP—I loved it so much I bought another copy, bc I wanted to back my review w unfettered endorsement)
Read
September 5, 2025Man, I’ve read a ton of memoirs in the last year. Ranging from cults to Hollywood stars that I grew up seeing on tv or listening to. The overarching theme I’ve realized is that Hollywood sucks, most parents suck and it’s incredibly sad seeing people abuse others for monetary gain.
What is inspiring is seeing someone rise above it all. I’ve seen Alyson in Step Up and obvi the Missy Elliot video as well as Cheaper by the Dozen- (I just missed the camp rock era) and I applaud Stoner for taking charge of their life and making something of themself for THEM and no one else. They have worked tirelessly and deserves a good rest. I loved hearing about Alyson’s Dad, and want to give a middle finger to her Mom, and to Moose from Step Up, you get a big FU with double middle fingers. Words can’t even describe the gym/supplement wacko
What is inspiring is seeing someone rise above it all. I’ve seen Alyson in Step Up and obvi the Missy Elliot video as well as Cheaper by the Dozen- (I just missed the camp rock era) and I applaud Stoner for taking charge of their life and making something of themself for THEM and no one else. They have worked tirelessly and deserves a good rest. I loved hearing about Alyson’s Dad, and want to give a middle finger to her Mom, and to Moose from Step Up, you get a big FU with double middle fingers. Words can’t even describe the gym/supplement wacko
August 24, 2025
Excellent audiobook but had to mark it down a couple stars for her trying to talk like a baby, aka her childhood self. Too weird man.
August 17, 2025
Like most people my age, I grew up watching Alyson Stoner in Cheaper By the Dozen,
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Camp Rock, but I never really knew much about their life until a few years ago, when they came out as queer.
In 2018, they released their song When It's Right, where they talked about their struggles with internalised homophobia and how freeing it felt to be sapphic and allow themselves to fall in love with a woman for the first time. It was right around the same time that I realised I was a lesbian and, despite our upbringing and the root of our internalised homophobia being vastly different, the song and their story deeply resonated with me. It was then that I started to follow their work more closely and, when they released their song Stripped Bare, I began to learn about all their struggles as a former child actor, how their family took advantage of them from an early age and the impact it had had on their mental and physical health. I found the song and music video to be incredibly honest and eye-opening about the reality of child stars.
So, of course, when they announced they were going to publish a memoir, I knew I had to read it as soon as possible. I actually listened to the audiobook, which Alyson narrates, and I think hearing them talk about all these issues so openly and directly made it hit even harder. There are a lot of content warnings at the beginning of the book for a reason, since it covers such heavy topics as emotional and physical abuse, rape, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, religious trauma and more. It was difficult to listen to it at times, but Alyson does an exceptional job at pointing out the numerous problems they encountered in the Hollywood industry and how it negatively affected not only their own life, but also that of their peers and fellow Disney kids. They didn't shy away from naming names when they had to, but it wasn't about "spilling the tea" for drama or attention — they raised important concerns and brought awareness to the abuse child stars are exposed to.
I'm genuinely happy for all the things Alyson has achieved since they decided to step away from acting and the public eye, how they've found peace in living a more regular life and, above all, the work they're doing to protect child actors and influencers from suffering the same fate as they did.
I rarely read non-fiction, but this was one of the best books I've read this year so far and I think it should be a mandatory read if you were once a kid who loved Disney Channel or Nickelodeon and want to learn about the truth of it all, or if you can relate to any of Alyson's struggles. I promise it's worth it.
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Camp Rock, but I never really knew much about their life until a few years ago, when they came out as queer.
In 2018, they released their song When It's Right, where they talked about their struggles with internalised homophobia and how freeing it felt to be sapphic and allow themselves to fall in love with a woman for the first time. It was right around the same time that I realised I was a lesbian and, despite our upbringing and the root of our internalised homophobia being vastly different, the song and their story deeply resonated with me. It was then that I started to follow their work more closely and, when they released their song Stripped Bare, I began to learn about all their struggles as a former child actor, how their family took advantage of them from an early age and the impact it had had on their mental and physical health. I found the song and music video to be incredibly honest and eye-opening about the reality of child stars.
So, of course, when they announced they were going to publish a memoir, I knew I had to read it as soon as possible. I actually listened to the audiobook, which Alyson narrates, and I think hearing them talk about all these issues so openly and directly made it hit even harder. There are a lot of content warnings at the beginning of the book for a reason, since it covers such heavy topics as emotional and physical abuse, rape, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, religious trauma and more. It was difficult to listen to it at times, but Alyson does an exceptional job at pointing out the numerous problems they encountered in the Hollywood industry and how it negatively affected not only their own life, but also that of their peers and fellow Disney kids. They didn't shy away from naming names when they had to, but it wasn't about "spilling the tea" for drama or attention — they raised important concerns and brought awareness to the abuse child stars are exposed to.
I'm genuinely happy for all the things Alyson has achieved since they decided to step away from acting and the public eye, how they've found peace in living a more regular life and, above all, the work they're doing to protect child actors and influencers from suffering the same fate as they did.
I rarely read non-fiction, but this was one of the best books I've read this year so far and I think it should be a mandatory read if you were once a kid who loved Disney Channel or Nickelodeon and want to learn about the truth of it all, or if you can relate to any of Alyson's struggles. I promise it's worth it.
Currently reading
September 10, 2025Haven't picked up this genre in a while
August 15, 2025
This was so good and so heartbreaking. Really beautifully written. Sad to think the little kid in some of my favorite movies growing up was going through so much😢
August 30, 2025
Read - Aug 29 2025
Don't think I ever realized how much of her work I had watched growing up. It's awful what some of these kids went through (and still go through) in Hollywood. I'm glad so many actors are bringing this to light. While the writing and formatting wasn't my favorite it was still a well done and impactful book.
Don't think I ever realized how much of her work I had watched growing up. It's awful what some of these kids went through (and still go through) in Hollywood. I'm glad so many actors are bringing this to light. While the writing and formatting wasn't my favorite it was still a well done and impactful book.
August 12, 2025
One thing I’ve learned about Alyson Stoner: their concern for others runs deep. The pressure they carried as a child (whether forced or self-imposed) was far too much for one person, let alone a kid.
I’m grateful not just for their stories, but for the advocacy, the resources, and the courage to speak the uncomfortable truths. Reading this ARC early means I get to sit with these thoughts and join the conversation.
Alyson, you’re beyond worthy of being a lead character. Maybe it’s just a different role than you expected ✨ and it’s changing lives ✨
I’m grateful not just for their stories, but for the advocacy, the resources, and the courage to speak the uncomfortable truths. Reading this ARC early means I get to sit with these thoughts and join the conversation.
Alyson, you’re beyond worthy of being a lead character. Maybe it’s just a different role than you expected ✨ and it’s changing lives ✨
August 31, 2025
I bought SEMI-WELL-ADJUSTED for two reasons. The first was nostalgia. While my daughter was growing up, she was a huge fan of Disney programming. (Okay, okay ... I'm a Disney fan, too ... but, more for the "classic" Disney.) I recalled seeing Alyson Stoner in a seemingly unending stream of "Mike's Super Short Show" episodes which were little more than promotions of Disney shows, movies and other entertainment products.
The second reason appealed more to the "collector" in me. Barnes & Noble had a pre-order for autographed copies of the book for the same price as unsigned copies. Well, I know a deal when I see one!
I'll admit that when I received the book, I initially had a concern. A mini-biography of the writer put in parentheses "they/them" by her name. My heart immediately sank. If she was going to constantly be referring to herself as "They" or "Them," this was going to be a very confusing read for my poor different generational mind. However, that only occurred in part of one chapter, so it wasn't really a pr0blem. (Still, every time she employed one of those words as identifiers, I had to re-read what I'd just read to make certain that I understood what was being said.)
The plus side of the book ... and it is a huge plus side ... is that she provides a lot of details of what it was like to navigate the Hollywood entertainment industry. The word "harrowing" doesn't even begin to adequately describe it. For much of the time she describes, I had what I considered to be an extremely harried schedule as a corporate manager ... but, my schedule was a piece of cake compared to her typical day as a child. The descriptions were startling.
Stoner's message is centered around the need to create an emotionally safe environment in the entertainment industry for performers (especially children). The good news is that she has already made significant strides to help. And, let's face it, assistance will need to come from "outside" of the system. If you've noticed the incredible amount of "sameness" that emanates from the studios now, you'll already know that the driving force is money with much less consideration given to artistic expression.
At the same time, I recommend this book to all parents of young children (including those who are planning to be parents). Yes, it focuses on children in the entertainment industry. However, there's a warning here for all parents who have a "pre-packaged life agenda" for their children. Forcing perspectives on developing minds can have completely unexpected and unwanted consequences. It is not enough to just want to provide "the Best for our children" when what is actually the Best might be something entirely different.
My sole criticism of the book is that an occasional picture to illustrate different points of development would have been very helpful. Seeing the transitions would very much have helped me to understand the severity of what she was describing. Of course, we live in an age when the internet will quickly reveal an image for the truly curious among us.
The content did not make SEMI-WELL-ADJUSTED an easy read. (In fact, she posts a warning for Readers who may be battling certain emotional issues early in the book.) That said, her writing style (with the brief exception of part of one chapter) flowed very well and was compelling. Yet, I don't plan to be launching into a similar book in the near future.
The second reason appealed more to the "collector" in me. Barnes & Noble had a pre-order for autographed copies of the book for the same price as unsigned copies. Well, I know a deal when I see one!
I'll admit that when I received the book, I initially had a concern. A mini-biography of the writer put in parentheses "they/them" by her name. My heart immediately sank. If she was going to constantly be referring to herself as "They" or "Them," this was going to be a very confusing read for my poor different generational mind. However, that only occurred in part of one chapter, so it wasn't really a pr0blem. (Still, every time she employed one of those words as identifiers, I had to re-read what I'd just read to make certain that I understood what was being said.)
The plus side of the book ... and it is a huge plus side ... is that she provides a lot of details of what it was like to navigate the Hollywood entertainment industry. The word "harrowing" doesn't even begin to adequately describe it. For much of the time she describes, I had what I considered to be an extremely harried schedule as a corporate manager ... but, my schedule was a piece of cake compared to her typical day as a child. The descriptions were startling.
Stoner's message is centered around the need to create an emotionally safe environment in the entertainment industry for performers (especially children). The good news is that she has already made significant strides to help. And, let's face it, assistance will need to come from "outside" of the system. If you've noticed the incredible amount of "sameness" that emanates from the studios now, you'll already know that the driving force is money with much less consideration given to artistic expression.
At the same time, I recommend this book to all parents of young children (including those who are planning to be parents). Yes, it focuses on children in the entertainment industry. However, there's a warning here for all parents who have a "pre-packaged life agenda" for their children. Forcing perspectives on developing minds can have completely unexpected and unwanted consequences. It is not enough to just want to provide "the Best for our children" when what is actually the Best might be something entirely different.
My sole criticism of the book is that an occasional picture to illustrate different points of development would have been very helpful. Seeing the transitions would very much have helped me to understand the severity of what she was describing. Of course, we live in an age when the internet will quickly reveal an image for the truly curious among us.
The content did not make SEMI-WELL-ADJUSTED an easy read. (In fact, she posts a warning for Readers who may be battling certain emotional issues early in the book.) That said, her writing style (with the brief exception of part of one chapter) flowed very well and was compelling. Yet, I don't plan to be launching into a similar book in the near future.
August 26, 2025
I normally don't give memoirs 5 stars, but Alyson Stoner deserves all the stars. She balanced the shock and disfunction of Hollywood (which is widely talked about now from previous child stars) with eloquent and thorough research. You can tell this project was a long time coming for her and she actually did the work in making it a beacon of hope for a new generation of young stars.
I've always been a fan of Alyson- I related to her tomboy-ness in her younger years. What she has done with her life after Hollywood grew tired of her makes me proud. There are so many cautionary tales in this book, but also words of wisdom and insight into creating a more positive culture around body image, societal standards, and how quickly we expect children to grow up. A must read!
I've always been a fan of Alyson- I related to her tomboy-ness in her younger years. What she has done with her life after Hollywood grew tired of her makes me proud. There are so many cautionary tales in this book, but also words of wisdom and insight into creating a more positive culture around body image, societal standards, and how quickly we expect children to grow up. A must read!
August 15, 2025
This one was one of my most anticipated August releases, and it didn’t disappoint. Alyson Stoner looks back on their child stardom with such maturity and writing from someone who has clearly put work into being who they are today. It’s a sad reality that we’re in the era of hearing of all of the trauma of the Hollywood machine as it relates to child stars, and it’s amazing to see Alyson using their experiences in ways to improve the way for those after them, and considering the impact of the digital age on youth and their development.
I think it’s difficult to put a rating on someone’s life experiences and trauma, but from a reading perspective I’d rate this 4.5/5, with the half star removal coming from the fact that there were some pacing choices where I wish they would have reflected a bit more. With that said though, I’m grateful for what they’ve decided to share with us.
I think it’s difficult to put a rating on someone’s life experiences and trauma, but from a reading perspective I’d rate this 4.5/5, with the half star removal coming from the fact that there were some pacing choices where I wish they would have reflected a bit more. With that said though, I’m grateful for what they’ve decided to share with us.
August 27, 2025
Aw man, this memoir was devastating.
August 15, 2025
I’m unsure how to feel about this book. I read it because growing up, Alyson was pretty much on every tv show or movie I watched in some capacity. I can’t explain it well, but the tone of this was very different. Kind of gave off something I didn’t like.
I will say, however, I can’t imagine being a child in Hollywood. It’s truly amazing (and not in a good way) what happens to and is expected of kids. Hollywood really is a world of its own.
I will say, however, I can’t imagine being a child in Hollywood. It’s truly amazing (and not in a good way) what happens to and is expected of kids. Hollywood really is a world of its own.
August 9, 2025
“People presumed my joy and satisfaction were derived from the fun of performing. Internally, I knew my real high came from reaching perfection. I got off on following the formula, on impressing adults and standing out from other children. Another comparison to Natalie Portman and Jodie Foster? Tell me more! The director saving my close-ups for last because I could make up for lost time and still get the crew wrapped early? Watch me! As I proved I was convenient to work with (not a liability, like a normal child), I got hired more.”
“It ached to accept that nothing lasted, but the evidence mounted: my parents' divorce, our fractured home, switching schools and friend circles, the deep bonds and deep breaks on set. It was intoxicating to feel like I temporarily belonged, but it wasn't worth the excruciating pain of having it abruptly stripped from me.
So I subconsciously shifted to a new tactic: pseudo-vulnerability.
During interactions, I'd express mental empathy for others' experi-ences, logically understanding their feelings and responding sym-pathetically. In return, I'd recount details from my own life with expressive language, creating an illusion of emotional intimacy. In-wardly, I avoided opening my heart to any real mutual exchange, since that risked forming an attachment. I gave up on lasting friendships and reduced my side-hugs to handshakes whenever possible.”
“It ached to accept that nothing lasted, but the evidence mounted: my parents' divorce, our fractured home, switching schools and friend circles, the deep bonds and deep breaks on set. It was intoxicating to feel like I temporarily belonged, but it wasn't worth the excruciating pain of having it abruptly stripped from me.
So I subconsciously shifted to a new tactic: pseudo-vulnerability.
During interactions, I'd express mental empathy for others' experi-ences, logically understanding their feelings and responding sym-pathetically. In return, I'd recount details from my own life with expressive language, creating an illusion of emotional intimacy. In-wardly, I avoided opening my heart to any real mutual exchange, since that risked forming an attachment. I gave up on lasting friendships and reduced my side-hugs to handshakes whenever possible.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 13, 2025
Alyson Stoner’s memoir details their life growing up as a child star and the many challenges and adversities they have overcome since. I was struck by their ability to remember key details (they credited the diary they kept as a child) and the maturity in which they reflected back about it. A few times in this book I paused to watch specific videos on YouTube and it was fascinating to have the inside view of what was going on.
Listening to this was especially interesting after reading Disney High. While Disney is not as problematic as Nickelodeon, there is still a long way to go to protect child actors in the film and television industry (do they need someone who studied child development? I’m available lol).
Listening to this was especially interesting after reading Disney High. While Disney is not as problematic as Nickelodeon, there is still a long way to go to protect child actors in the film and television industry (do they need someone who studied child development? I’m available lol).
August 19, 2025
No notes. Incredibly powerful, well written, and devastingly raw.
August 19, 2025
I listened to the audio book.
The two words I kept coming back to for this book were sincere and impassioned. This is a proper memoir for detail and nostalgia - the peek behind the curtain that I know drives so many to celebrity memoir. The things that they have gone through and detail in this book are both shocking and mundane: all the violences and traumas and exploitations you worry happen to child stars happened to them and my heart does ache for them.
But I found the writing style too much. It was impassioned, like I said, but in the way that a young writer who hasn’t learned that good writing doesn’t mean more adjectives and adverbs. I do not say this to condemn - they reiterate themselves that they were not afforded the basic forms of education or experiences typical of childhood and that includes learning to write in different ways. And to edit. This excess worked better when they wrote about their childhood - it expressed a naivety and curiosity about the world that reflected that age. Not my favourite but effective. But when it continued into their 20s I realised it wasn’t an affect, but their style. Which wasn’t for me.
I admire them for doing what they can to wrench purpose from a life that was repeatedly and purposely derailed by the adults around them. Their discovery of the joy of queer intimacy brought me back to my baby gay days. The descriptions of anorexia particularly rocketed me back to my own, parallel experience. I hope this was cathartic for them because they deserve that.
The two words I kept coming back to for this book were sincere and impassioned. This is a proper memoir for detail and nostalgia - the peek behind the curtain that I know drives so many to celebrity memoir. The things that they have gone through and detail in this book are both shocking and mundane: all the violences and traumas and exploitations you worry happen to child stars happened to them and my heart does ache for them.
But I found the writing style too much. It was impassioned, like I said, but in the way that a young writer who hasn’t learned that good writing doesn’t mean more adjectives and adverbs. I do not say this to condemn - they reiterate themselves that they were not afforded the basic forms of education or experiences typical of childhood and that includes learning to write in different ways. And to edit. This excess worked better when they wrote about their childhood - it expressed a naivety and curiosity about the world that reflected that age. Not my favourite but effective. But when it continued into their 20s I realised it wasn’t an affect, but their style. Which wasn’t for me.
I admire them for doing what they can to wrench purpose from a life that was repeatedly and purposely derailed by the adults around them. Their discovery of the joy of queer intimacy brought me back to my baby gay days. The descriptions of anorexia particularly rocketed me back to my own, parallel experience. I hope this was cathartic for them because they deserve that.
August 21, 2025
The victim mentality was too much for me. While I think a lot of the stories are relatable and may help people struggling with a variety of issues, this is a masterclass on twisting the facts so you look good or sympathetic at every turn. It worked and got me through 3/4 of this book feeling their pain. At some point, however, I just wanted them to say, “Yeah, I messed that one up. My bad.” They somehow found a way to place the blame on other people’s shoulders for everything, from their lackluster career and eating disorder to their nose job and inability to get into college. It’s impossible not to compare this to Jennette McCurdy’s book, and I think this book lacks the raw and unfiltered self examination that made me love “I’m Glad My Mom Died.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 13, 2025
Another necessary read on the topic of child actors and the child entertainment industry as a whole. If you’ve been following Alyson’s journey or listened to their podcast Dear Hollywood, then it should come as no surprise that Alyson is a force, and through shedding light on the realities of what being a child star in Hollywood really means, they are proving to be a crucial advocate in the ongoing fight to protecting the rights and safety of child actors
August 26, 2025
the titular phrase being in the last sentence of the book pushed me over the edge
August 18, 2025
“if we know the cost of fame leads to premature death and severe mental distress, why are we voluntarily hooking children on a deadly drug?”
as soon as i heard alyson was writing a memoir, i knew i had to read it. and it’s excellent. alyson’s insight into the things they experienced and the culture that fostered those experiences is truly a needed addition to the conversations surrounding mental health, child stardom, and the entertainment industry. i appreciate that they went into the work they’re doing now with helping people through trauma and actually doing the work to make changes in the industry rather than just talking about it. their story is sad, but also hopeful and inspiring. i hope this memoir reaches far and wide.
(also, i really appreciate them noting that despite two people who hurt them “displaying expressions of schizophrenia” that at large people who are schizophrenic are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. as well as stating they “condensed some scenarios and re-created dialogue in good faith” because while it’s obvious that the events and conversations detailed in memoirs are reworked, not to fabricate anything, but to get the point across more clearly or concisely, it’s just nice to see an acknowledgement of it.)
content/trigger warnings; discussions or mentions of child abuse, addiction, eating disorders, domestic violence, mental illness, rape, gun violence, religious extremism, surgery, body modification, queerphobia, fatphobia, grief, microaggressions, suicidal ideation, suicide, death, trauma,
as soon as i heard alyson was writing a memoir, i knew i had to read it. and it’s excellent. alyson’s insight into the things they experienced and the culture that fostered those experiences is truly a needed addition to the conversations surrounding mental health, child stardom, and the entertainment industry. i appreciate that they went into the work they’re doing now with helping people through trauma and actually doing the work to make changes in the industry rather than just talking about it. their story is sad, but also hopeful and inspiring. i hope this memoir reaches far and wide.
(also, i really appreciate them noting that despite two people who hurt them “displaying expressions of schizophrenia” that at large people who are schizophrenic are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. as well as stating they “condensed some scenarios and re-created dialogue in good faith” because while it’s obvious that the events and conversations detailed in memoirs are reworked, not to fabricate anything, but to get the point across more clearly or concisely, it’s just nice to see an acknowledgement of it.)
content/trigger warnings; discussions or mentions of child abuse, addiction, eating disorders, domestic violence, mental illness, rape, gun violence, religious extremism, surgery, body modification, queerphobia, fatphobia, grief, microaggressions, suicidal ideation, suicide, death, trauma,
August 18, 2025
alyson stoner you will always be famous (if you want)
I loved this heartfelt, illuminating memoir. you can tell the work that alyson has already put into grounding themself and healing. I often feel like other memoirs (jenette mccurdy, shary franke, britney spears) are the first step in a child-star's journey. you can feel like you're only exploiting them further as you read their darkest struggles that they expose in an effort to reclaim the spotlight and their voice on their own terms. (this is of course also a valid means of expression)
It really felt like alyson was ready to tell this story—offering not just tea but incredibly useful tools for people who may be experiencing similar things. they are rooted in their newfound purpose and approach difficult topics with such grace and nuance.
I almost universally recommend author-narrated audiobooks for memoirs, but this one especially was a great listen. Alyson is a very talented voice actor, and hearing their "little alyson" voice return in moments of hardship throughout adulthood added depth to the portrayal of their enduring trauma.
I can't wait to see what they continue to do with their talent and brilliance.
I loved this heartfelt, illuminating memoir. you can tell the work that alyson has already put into grounding themself and healing. I often feel like other memoirs (jenette mccurdy, shary franke, britney spears) are the first step in a child-star's journey. you can feel like you're only exploiting them further as you read their darkest struggles that they expose in an effort to reclaim the spotlight and their voice on their own terms. (this is of course also a valid means of expression)
It really felt like alyson was ready to tell this story—offering not just tea but incredibly useful tools for people who may be experiencing similar things. they are rooted in their newfound purpose and approach difficult topics with such grace and nuance.
I almost universally recommend author-narrated audiobooks for memoirs, but this one especially was a great listen. Alyson is a very talented voice actor, and hearing their "little alyson" voice return in moments of hardship throughout adulthood added depth to the portrayal of their enduring trauma.
I can't wait to see what they continue to do with their talent and brilliance.
September 9, 2025
Alyson Stoner is a great narrator and I admire them for telling their life story in a way that is moving and thought-provoking.
At points, I found their choice of words a bit too lofty, which is why it's not a 5 star read for me.
At points, I found their choice of words a bit too lofty, which is why it's not a 5 star read for me.
August 30, 2025
Feeling a bit guilty for the time I asked for her autograph and pic at Disney world
August 22, 2025
In terms of the literary efficacy of this novel: it’s written in the same present tense style as Jeanette Mccurdy’s memoir but not executed as well.
Stories are retold through the lens of Alyson’s emotional development at the same age as the story. For Jeanette, this feels like a preservation mechanism to protect against internalizing or feeling anything happening around her, but for Alyson it doesn’t land as cleanly with trauma less obscene. Instead, stories sometimes felt half baked - lacking detail or depth in the earlier years.
The pacing also felt stilted, spending 20 pages on a single day and then skipping a year or two ahead without notice.
In terms of the content: Jesus. In both the religious extremism aspect of Jesus (there was so much of it), but also Jesus I can’t believe what these child actors go through.
Alyson seems to have taken the reins back on her life by the end and I’m happy for her for it. She never deserved any of this.
Stories are retold through the lens of Alyson’s emotional development at the same age as the story. For Jeanette, this feels like a preservation mechanism to protect against internalizing or feeling anything happening around her, but for Alyson it doesn’t land as cleanly with trauma less obscene. Instead, stories sometimes felt half baked - lacking detail or depth in the earlier years.
The pacing also felt stilted, spending 20 pages on a single day and then skipping a year or two ahead without notice.
In terms of the content: Jesus. In both the religious extremism aspect of Jesus (there was so much of it), but also Jesus I can’t believe what these child actors go through.
Alyson seems to have taken the reins back on her life by the end and I’m happy for her for it. She never deserved any of this.
August 22, 2025
This was beautiful, tragic, heavy and empowering all at once. Alyson did such an amazing job in telling their story and I so appreciate their vulnerability to get this message out into the world of child actors being exploited. This book is a must read, though tread lightly if triggered by child abuse, disordered eating, sexual abuse or family trauma.
August 29, 2025
I enjoyed this even though it wasn't really the "ohhhh they're going HARD on Hollywood and naming NAMES!" that the hype suggested. Aside from the author's immediate circle – mother, stepfather, various people on their management team – there's very little personal outing aside from one asshole guy from a 'Step Up' movie who wasn't thrilled to work with the author because they weren't as hot as his last love interest. There is more general discussion of child welfare and exploitation in the industry, especially when it comes to Disney and how child actors are commodities used as pawns for other people to make money, which was super interesting to read from the author's personal perspective. Most of it is pretty well-known at this point so it wasn't really groundbreaking, but I do think the personal touches better illustrated the problems within the system and added a lot of value to the conversation.
Overall, this is very well-written and I like that the author – who was a working child actor for over a decade with tons of credits and a few iconic cultural moments – was so honest about feeling like they never truly 'made it' in Hollywood and openly discussed what they saw as successes but also as failures. Compared to others who came out of this era from the same projects – Hilary Duff, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers – it really was a different experience and the author going from feeling pride about their success based on accomplishing something only a tiny percentage of actors ever will to feeling like a failure because they were never cast as a lead or taken seriously for projects outside of Disney, especially as they transitioned to adulthood, was illuminating.
I unfortunately sometimes notice really niche things that most other people would not, so as much as I respect Stoner for telling their story in such a raw and gut-wrenching way, I did have one problem with this book – they shared an entirely false narrative about why they didn't get a role as a child, which made me question what else the author may have misremembered, embellished, or straight-up lied about. The author discusses how, at the age of seven, they went on a series of auditions for the lead in the atrocious 2001 Shirley Temple biopic, made it to the final three, and then found out they lost the role to the director's sister. This leads to a brief discussion of nepotism in Hollywood, and how it's not about how talented you are but about who you know, with the author blaming this and other experiences on this issue. However, the person who was cast as the child Shirley Temple in this made-for-TV movie was Ashley Rose Orr, an established actor, singer, and dancer with two Broadway credits and a bunch of TV/voiceover work under her belt at the time and completely unrelated to anyone involved in the production (compared to Stoner, who at the time of the auditions was brand new to Hollywood with very little experience outside of some acting coaching and dance classes). There is a nugget of truth about the nepotism, as Melissa Joan Hart was a producer and her sister Emily played the teenage Shirley Temple, but this was completely unrelated to Stoner not booking the child version of the role and it's incredibly unfair to suggest that Orr didn't deserve the role when she was a WILDLY experienced, established, and polished triple threat (and also had a closer physical resemblance to the real-life person she was portraying).
This didn't completely taint the book for me, and I'm willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt for misremembering the Hart connection as it having affected their own casting, but it did plant a seed of mistrust when there were other excuses for their career not going the way they hoped. Like, were they really originally pitched for the lead in 'Camp Rock' and then strung along for years only to be passed over for the up-and-coming Demi Lovato? Did they really inspire a 'Hannah Montana'-esque series only for Disney to dump it in favor of the Miley Cyrus version? Did the guy from 'Step Up' really refuse to learn his lines or choreo simply because he wasn't physically attracted to the author? We tend to read memoirs as factual because the people writing them (or sharing their stories with a ghostwriter) are the people who lived them, but the author establishing themself as an unreliable narrator so early in this book – especially with something that could've been so easily fact-checked, shame on the editors – made me a little leery of other anecdotes and incidents they share down the line, which isn't ideal for a reader.
Overall, this is very well-written and I like that the author – who was a working child actor for over a decade with tons of credits and a few iconic cultural moments – was so honest about feeling like they never truly 'made it' in Hollywood and openly discussed what they saw as successes but also as failures. Compared to others who came out of this era from the same projects – Hilary Duff, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers – it really was a different experience and the author going from feeling pride about their success based on accomplishing something only a tiny percentage of actors ever will to feeling like a failure because they were never cast as a lead or taken seriously for projects outside of Disney, especially as they transitioned to adulthood, was illuminating.
I unfortunately sometimes notice really niche things that most other people would not, so as much as I respect Stoner for telling their story in such a raw and gut-wrenching way, I did have one problem with this book – they shared an entirely false narrative about why they didn't get a role as a child, which made me question what else the author may have misremembered, embellished, or straight-up lied about. The author discusses how, at the age of seven, they went on a series of auditions for the lead in the atrocious 2001 Shirley Temple biopic, made it to the final three, and then found out they lost the role to the director's sister. This leads to a brief discussion of nepotism in Hollywood, and how it's not about how talented you are but about who you know, with the author blaming this and other experiences on this issue. However, the person who was cast as the child Shirley Temple in this made-for-TV movie was Ashley Rose Orr, an established actor, singer, and dancer with two Broadway credits and a bunch of TV/voiceover work under her belt at the time and completely unrelated to anyone involved in the production (compared to Stoner, who at the time of the auditions was brand new to Hollywood with very little experience outside of some acting coaching and dance classes). There is a nugget of truth about the nepotism, as Melissa Joan Hart was a producer and her sister Emily played the teenage Shirley Temple, but this was completely unrelated to Stoner not booking the child version of the role and it's incredibly unfair to suggest that Orr didn't deserve the role when she was a WILDLY experienced, established, and polished triple threat (and also had a closer physical resemblance to the real-life person she was portraying).
This didn't completely taint the book for me, and I'm willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt for misremembering the Hart connection as it having affected their own casting, but it did plant a seed of mistrust when there were other excuses for their career not going the way they hoped. Like, were they really originally pitched for the lead in 'Camp Rock' and then strung along for years only to be passed over for the up-and-coming Demi Lovato? Did they really inspire a 'Hannah Montana'-esque series only for Disney to dump it in favor of the Miley Cyrus version? Did the guy from 'Step Up' really refuse to learn his lines or choreo simply because he wasn't physically attracted to the author? We tend to read memoirs as factual because the people writing them (or sharing their stories with a ghostwriter) are the people who lived them, but the author establishing themself as an unreliable narrator so early in this book – especially with something that could've been so easily fact-checked, shame on the editors – made me a little leery of other anecdotes and incidents they share down the line, which isn't ideal for a reader.
Read
August 21, 2025I had this one on hold at the library before it was even released because I’m a big fan of celebrity memoirs—especially from kids who grew up in Hollywood. I love hearing their experiences, understanding it more, and I just knew Alyson would be a fantastic storyteller. I was first in line, and let me tell you…I really loved it.
🎧 I listened on audio, and this might be one of the best memoir narrations I’ve ever heard. Alyson doesn’t just read her story, she performs it. She uses different voices for her younger self, her adult self, even her inner dialogue. It made the whole story come alive.
⚠️ A few trigger warnings: rape, eating disorders, depression, body image struggles, and some really difficult family dynamics.
She also shares about her life as an LGBTQ advocate, so be prepared that it’s part of her story too.
What I found so interesting was hearing what it was really like to grow up in Hollywood. She talks a lot about the sets she worked on—Camp Rock, Cheaper by the Dozen, Disney Channel, and more—and what her interactions with other celebrities were like. It was also eye-opening to hear how deeply she took on each character she played and how hard it was for her to step out of those roles and separate them from her real family life. My heart hurts does she never got to experience a true authentic family that was for her.
Her honesty stood out most. It was mind-blowing (and honestly heartbreaking) to realize how young she was during these seasons and what she was being forced to do.
I don’t rate memoirs—because how do you rate someone’s lived experience?—but I will say this: if you’re into celebrity memoirs or just want to know more about Alyson Stoner I highly recommend it. And if you pick it up, definitely go with the audiobook. ❤️
ETA: forgot to add this to my review. Her journey with Christ made me so sad to hear that she had deconstructed her faith. I’m really sad also for the church, as they may have played a part in why her deconstructing started to happen. That part was hard to hear.
🎧 I listened on audio, and this might be one of the best memoir narrations I’ve ever heard. Alyson doesn’t just read her story, she performs it. She uses different voices for her younger self, her adult self, even her inner dialogue. It made the whole story come alive.
⚠️ A few trigger warnings: rape, eating disorders, depression, body image struggles, and some really difficult family dynamics.
She also shares about her life as an LGBTQ advocate, so be prepared that it’s part of her story too.
What I found so interesting was hearing what it was really like to grow up in Hollywood. She talks a lot about the sets she worked on—Camp Rock, Cheaper by the Dozen, Disney Channel, and more—and what her interactions with other celebrities were like. It was also eye-opening to hear how deeply she took on each character she played and how hard it was for her to step out of those roles and separate them from her real family life. My heart hurts does she never got to experience a true authentic family that was for her.
Her honesty stood out most. It was mind-blowing (and honestly heartbreaking) to realize how young she was during these seasons and what she was being forced to do.
I don’t rate memoirs—because how do you rate someone’s lived experience?—but I will say this: if you’re into celebrity memoirs or just want to know more about Alyson Stoner I highly recommend it. And if you pick it up, definitely go with the audiobook. ❤️
ETA: forgot to add this to my review. Her journey with Christ made me so sad to hear that she had deconstructed her faith. I’m really sad also for the church, as they may have played a part in why her deconstructing started to happen. That part was hard to hear.
August 22, 2025
*sign* I’m pretty speechless… 👏🏼
I don’t particularly rate a memoir as I don’t find it to be fair and right to ‘judge’ someone’s personal journey and storytelling. HOWEVER, this 5⭐️ rating does not go to Alyson’s story, but it goes to her ability to not only share her very vulnerable experiences with the world, but to also- add supports in her book, next steps for people that resonate with her experiences, ressources available and trigger warnings, as well as her incredible ability to create safety within her words for the listener / reader.
I listened to Alyson’s story through her own words and her voice which made this whole experience for me that much more impactful, raw and engaging. I could sit here and talk about it forever, but I’d rather allow you to read it yourself and let Alyson be her own storyteller. You won’t regret it.
As a mental health practitioner myself, it was easy to see that she created such an impactful and powerful platform for the industry, as well as showing her strength and bravery through her authenticity and her resilience.
Amazing words, great book, and even more as inspirational person. The little girl in the Missy video, would thank you. 🫶🏽
* please check trigger warnings- though Alyson does a great job at starting her book with any possibly triggers for the listener to assure their emotional safety.
💛
I don’t particularly rate a memoir as I don’t find it to be fair and right to ‘judge’ someone’s personal journey and storytelling. HOWEVER, this 5⭐️ rating does not go to Alyson’s story, but it goes to her ability to not only share her very vulnerable experiences with the world, but to also- add supports in her book, next steps for people that resonate with her experiences, ressources available and trigger warnings, as well as her incredible ability to create safety within her words for the listener / reader.
I listened to Alyson’s story through her own words and her voice which made this whole experience for me that much more impactful, raw and engaging. I could sit here and talk about it forever, but I’d rather allow you to read it yourself and let Alyson be her own storyteller. You won’t regret it.
As a mental health practitioner myself, it was easy to see that she created such an impactful and powerful platform for the industry, as well as showing her strength and bravery through her authenticity and her resilience.
Amazing words, great book, and even more as inspirational person. The little girl in the Missy video, would thank you. 🫶🏽
* please check trigger warnings- though Alyson does a great job at starting her book with any possibly triggers for the listener to assure their emotional safety.
💛
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