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The Answer Is in the Wound
An intimate, linked, lyrical essay collection focusing on the longer-lasting effects of trauma and PTSD on survivors—challenging a culture in which violence against women is normalized and illuminating the nonlinear, complex nature of recovery—from the acclaimed author of Goodbye, Sweet Girl
The trauma of surviving an abusive marriage didn’t make Kelly Sundberg stronger. In fact, it nearly broke her. But leaving the abuse behind was not the end of the story but the beginning of a new one. In that journey, Sundberg learned in ways both good and bad, that one doesn’t necessarily get to leave abuse behind. Sometimes, everywhere you go, the memories of the abuse go with you. First learning to coexist with her rage and then turn that rage into strength and power, Sundberg’s journey to alchemizing her suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder into post-traumatic stress growth was neither easy nor simple. But far from bleak, her story provides vital insight into the little-known recovery process, and how healing is possible.
A narrative following a process of discovery as Sundberg’s personal story is juxtaposed against established research, The Answer Is in the Wound offers a redemptive arc for trauma survivors, arguing for healing through an acceptance of their new state of being. Sundberg uses metaphors like the act of erasure—shown in erasure poetry created from her abusive ex-husband’s apologetic emails—and includes theories from psychiatrists and researchers like Judith Herman, Bessel van der Kolk, and Peter A. Levine to construct a balanced meditation on trauma and the imprint it leaves.
For readers of In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado and The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison, The Answer Is in the Wound is a beautiful, devastating, and nuanced examination into embracing a new reality after trauma and finding power and beauty in it.
The trauma of surviving an abusive marriage didn’t make Kelly Sundberg stronger. In fact, it nearly broke her. But leaving the abuse behind was not the end of the story but the beginning of a new one. In that journey, Sundberg learned in ways both good and bad, that one doesn’t necessarily get to leave abuse behind. Sometimes, everywhere you go, the memories of the abuse go with you. First learning to coexist with her rage and then turn that rage into strength and power, Sundberg’s journey to alchemizing her suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder into post-traumatic stress growth was neither easy nor simple. But far from bleak, her story provides vital insight into the little-known recovery process, and how healing is possible.
A narrative following a process of discovery as Sundberg’s personal story is juxtaposed against established research, The Answer Is in the Wound offers a redemptive arc for trauma survivors, arguing for healing through an acceptance of their new state of being. Sundberg uses metaphors like the act of erasure—shown in erasure poetry created from her abusive ex-husband’s apologetic emails—and includes theories from psychiatrists and researchers like Judith Herman, Bessel van der Kolk, and Peter A. Levine to construct a balanced meditation on trauma and the imprint it leaves.
For readers of In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado and The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison, The Answer Is in the Wound is a beautiful, devastating, and nuanced examination into embracing a new reality after trauma and finding power and beauty in it.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published August 26, 2025
22 people are currently reading
5145 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
March 2, 2025
Have you ever heard the phrase "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?"
Not so fast.
With "The Answer Is in the Wound," Kelly Sundberg has crafted a remarkably intimate, fiercely engaging, and beautifully lyrical essay collection focusing on the longer-lasting effects of trauma and PTSD on survivors.
As a survivor of sexual violence myself and with multiple traumatic experiences around disability, domestic violence, and suicide, I resonated immensely with Sundberg's revealing and challenging collection that challenges a culture in which violence against women, and in my case those with disabilities, is normalized. Sundberg weaves her words in such a way that she illuminates the complex, nonlinear nature of recovery and refuses to make it more palatable - because it's not - and reveals that what doesn't kill you actually stays with you in ways good and bad and redefining your very existence.
Does it mean that one can't heal? Of course not. Does it mean that there aren't areas where you may, in fact, end up stronger? Of course not. Sundberg's powerful revelations, however, serve as a vivid reminder that over-simplifying trauma recovery is a danger and that trauma often does linger in ways big and small in our daily lives and as we learn how to experience life, intimacy, relationships, parenting, and a myriad of other experiences without trauma but ever-present memories of it.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't simply a memoir nor is it simply Sundberg's own testimony. Sundberg creates a tapestry of testimony alongside trauma research to craft a poignant yet fact-based redemptive arc for the trauma survivor. Sundberg paints us a portrait of a redemptive arc that embraces the new reality of who we are post-trauma, an approach that resonates deeply with me and is likely at least part of the reason for my own ability to survive and thrive post-trauma.
At times, "The Answer Is in the Wound" feels like a loud reclamation of self - such as when Sundberg creates erasure poetry created from her abusive ex-husband's apologetic emails.
Remarkable. Simply remarkable.
Sundberg shares ideas and research from familiar names like Judith Herman, Bessel van der Kolk, and Peter Levine to not just drive home research but to also affirm so much of what she writes so beautifully here.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't always an easy read. It's not intended to be an easy read. It's beautiful. It's powerful. It's raw. It's victorious.
For those who've experienced trauma, especially of a more interpersonal nature, "The Answer Is in the Wound" is a book that deserves to be in one's library of hope.
Not so fast.
With "The Answer Is in the Wound," Kelly Sundberg has crafted a remarkably intimate, fiercely engaging, and beautifully lyrical essay collection focusing on the longer-lasting effects of trauma and PTSD on survivors.
As a survivor of sexual violence myself and with multiple traumatic experiences around disability, domestic violence, and suicide, I resonated immensely with Sundberg's revealing and challenging collection that challenges a culture in which violence against women, and in my case those with disabilities, is normalized. Sundberg weaves her words in such a way that she illuminates the complex, nonlinear nature of recovery and refuses to make it more palatable - because it's not - and reveals that what doesn't kill you actually stays with you in ways good and bad and redefining your very existence.
Does it mean that one can't heal? Of course not. Does it mean that there aren't areas where you may, in fact, end up stronger? Of course not. Sundberg's powerful revelations, however, serve as a vivid reminder that over-simplifying trauma recovery is a danger and that trauma often does linger in ways big and small in our daily lives and as we learn how to experience life, intimacy, relationships, parenting, and a myriad of other experiences without trauma but ever-present memories of it.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't simply a memoir nor is it simply Sundberg's own testimony. Sundberg creates a tapestry of testimony alongside trauma research to craft a poignant yet fact-based redemptive arc for the trauma survivor. Sundberg paints us a portrait of a redemptive arc that embraces the new reality of who we are post-trauma, an approach that resonates deeply with me and is likely at least part of the reason for my own ability to survive and thrive post-trauma.
At times, "The Answer Is in the Wound" feels like a loud reclamation of self - such as when Sundberg creates erasure poetry created from her abusive ex-husband's apologetic emails.
Remarkable. Simply remarkable.
Sundberg shares ideas and research from familiar names like Judith Herman, Bessel van der Kolk, and Peter Levine to not just drive home research but to also affirm so much of what she writes so beautifully here.
"The Answer Is in the Wound" isn't always an easy read. It's not intended to be an easy read. It's beautiful. It's powerful. It's raw. It's victorious.
For those who've experienced trauma, especially of a more interpersonal nature, "The Answer Is in the Wound" is a book that deserves to be in one's library of hope.
June 25, 2025
** Full, upfront disclosure: I won a copy of this book via a Goodreads giveaway, and I also personally know Kelly. That being said, this is my honest review. **
Incandescent. That's the first word that came to mind when I finished The Answer Is In The Wound less than 24 hours after I started it. I was riveted by these haunting essays, which take formal risks and incorporate research about the long-term impacts of domestic violence and trauma more broadly. Woven throughout are documents, mainly erasures in the form of emailed apologies sent by Sundberg's abusive ex-husband. The result is a rich, cohesive collection of essays that span Sundberg's adolescence, early relationships, first marriage, motherhood, and remarriage.
Sundberg addresses what strikes me as little-discussed aspect of surviving trauma: it can make you do out of character things, perhaps even be a little unlikeable. Her willingness to disclose so openly--to "go there" even at the risk of alienating readers––is exactly what makes her voice so engaging.
These essays do indeed shimmer with rage, but what surprised me most is its uplifting shift in tone, the cautiously held optimism in the midst of that anger, grief, and struggle to survive. Some might call this a memoir-in-essays about surviving domestic violence--and while that's certainly true--what struck me most about The Answer Is in the Wound is its portrayal of true, unconditional love. This is perhaps the most moving account of motherhood I've ever read (and yeah, I'm a childless crone, so that's saying a lot--this is not a subject that often moves me).
I'm heartened to see Roxane Gay's imprint continuing to publish works of such literary excellence. Thank you for the opportunity to read this powerful book (which I will be purchasing).
Incandescent. That's the first word that came to mind when I finished The Answer Is In The Wound less than 24 hours after I started it. I was riveted by these haunting essays, which take formal risks and incorporate research about the long-term impacts of domestic violence and trauma more broadly. Woven throughout are documents, mainly erasures in the form of emailed apologies sent by Sundberg's abusive ex-husband. The result is a rich, cohesive collection of essays that span Sundberg's adolescence, early relationships, first marriage, motherhood, and remarriage.
Sundberg addresses what strikes me as little-discussed aspect of surviving trauma: it can make you do out of character things, perhaps even be a little unlikeable. Her willingness to disclose so openly--to "go there" even at the risk of alienating readers––is exactly what makes her voice so engaging.
These essays do indeed shimmer with rage, but what surprised me most is its uplifting shift in tone, the cautiously held optimism in the midst of that anger, grief, and struggle to survive. Some might call this a memoir-in-essays about surviving domestic violence--and while that's certainly true--what struck me most about The Answer Is in the Wound is its portrayal of true, unconditional love. This is perhaps the most moving account of motherhood I've ever read (and yeah, I'm a childless crone, so that's saying a lot--this is not a subject that often moves me).
I'm heartened to see Roxane Gay's imprint continuing to publish works of such literary excellence. Thank you for the opportunity to read this powerful book (which I will be purchasing).
February 20, 2025
The Answer Is In The Wound by Kelly Sundberg, is a very personal, tender collection of autobiographical essays, that fit together in a practically seamless manner.
Describing her marriage to an abusive husband, and the far reaching and long term consequences of this trauma, and the extensive and arduous healing process, Sundberg touches on the stigma associated with this type of violence.
Profound quotes from some of my favourite authors are effectively spread throughout the book, enhancing the understanding of Sundberg’s thoughts, influences and writing. Themes of feminism, motherhood, resilience, healing, grief, love, and sacrifice all come together in this incredible book.
Expected Publication Date: August 26, 2025
Many thanks to NetGalley, Kelly Sundberg, and Grove Atlantic for access to an eARC. All opinions are my own.
Describing her marriage to an abusive husband, and the far reaching and long term consequences of this trauma, and the extensive and arduous healing process, Sundberg touches on the stigma associated with this type of violence.
Profound quotes from some of my favourite authors are effectively spread throughout the book, enhancing the understanding of Sundberg’s thoughts, influences and writing. Themes of feminism, motherhood, resilience, healing, grief, love, and sacrifice all come together in this incredible book.
Expected Publication Date: August 26, 2025
Many thanks to NetGalley, Kelly Sundberg, and Grove Atlantic for access to an eARC. All opinions are my own.
September 5, 2025
“I am the problem.
It wasn’t being abused that made me the problem. It wasn’t leaving my abusive marriage that made me the problem. It was the act of speaking that made me the problem.”
💌 Thank you so much to Roxane Gay Books for sending me a copy of this incredible memoir. So meaningful. A perfect companion.
I really feel like, for me, reading this in September, days from my birthday, felt like a gift to myself and served as a reminder that where I’ve been and where I am now can exist, and should, in tandem.
I know that reading memoirs is about opening ourselves to the experience of others, expanding our empathy and understanding the world better — but it can also crash into you a level of validation and reverence that heals parts of you. Over and over again I found myself crying for the pain and experience she was navigating — but also for my own experience, rendered through her story, specific details that sparked memories. It was like having a friend, another woman, to talk to… something I didn’t have when I left my own abusive marriage or in the years after. Something that seems precious and necessary. But I’m not the only victim, or survivor, that doesn’t have support and for that, I believe reading this will be cathartic for others.
Domestic violence and emotional abuse are serious, and still seriously stigmatized. I lost more people because I refused to be abused than any other questionable act I’ve ever committed. This memoir is the kind of read that will force you to see, to know, what survivors NEED you to see and know. It’s so important to listen to people and make space for their narratives. It’s a hard read but one that will leave you change, for the better, or perhaps even seen for the first time.
And remember… BELIEVE VICTIMS.
It wasn’t being abused that made me the problem. It wasn’t leaving my abusive marriage that made me the problem. It was the act of speaking that made me the problem.”
💌 Thank you so much to Roxane Gay Books for sending me a copy of this incredible memoir. So meaningful. A perfect companion.
I really feel like, for me, reading this in September, days from my birthday, felt like a gift to myself and served as a reminder that where I’ve been and where I am now can exist, and should, in tandem.
I know that reading memoirs is about opening ourselves to the experience of others, expanding our empathy and understanding the world better — but it can also crash into you a level of validation and reverence that heals parts of you. Over and over again I found myself crying for the pain and experience she was navigating — but also for my own experience, rendered through her story, specific details that sparked memories. It was like having a friend, another woman, to talk to… something I didn’t have when I left my own abusive marriage or in the years after. Something that seems precious and necessary. But I’m not the only victim, or survivor, that doesn’t have support and for that, I believe reading this will be cathartic for others.
Domestic violence and emotional abuse are serious, and still seriously stigmatized. I lost more people because I refused to be abused than any other questionable act I’ve ever committed. This memoir is the kind of read that will force you to see, to know, what survivors NEED you to see and know. It’s so important to listen to people and make space for their narratives. It’s a hard read but one that will leave you change, for the better, or perhaps even seen for the first time.
And remember… BELIEVE VICTIMS.
June 21, 2025
Book Review: The Answer Is in the Wound by Kelly Sundberg
Rating: 4.9/5
Initial Impressions
This memoir-in-essays is a raw, luminous excavation of trauma and survival. Sundberg’s writing—equal parts lyrical and unflinching—refuses to conform to linear narratives of recovery, mirroring the fragmented reality of PTSD. Blending personal narrative with erasure poetry, research citations, and cultural critique, the book dismantles the expectation that survivors must “move on” from violence.
Emotional Resonance & Reactions
Reading this felt like witnessing a metamorphosis. Sundberg’s vulnerability—whether reclaiming her body through tattoos or dissecting her ex-husband’s court-mandated apology—left me breathless. The essay format amplified the emotional impact, with each piece functioning like a scar: tender, textured, and testament to resilience. Moments of dark humor (e.g., professional life as the problem) provided levity, while her engagement with trauma experts (van der Kolk, Levine) grounded the work in scholarly rigor. At times, the nonlinear structure disoriented me, but intentionally so—echoing the dissonance of healing.
Strengths
-Formal Innovation: Erasure poetry crafted from abusive emails and legal documents transforms pain into art, offering a visceral critique of systemic gaslighting.
-Cultural Urgency: Challenges the normalization of violence against women, particularly in how society demands performative forgiveness from survivors.
-Holistic Healing: Explores spiritual practices, somatic reclaiming, and professional rebellion as interconnected acts of self-restoration.
Constructive Criticism
-Pacing: Some experimental sections (e.g., fragmented timelines) may alienate readers seeking a traditional memoir arc.
-Theoretical Density: While illuminating, the integration of trauma research occasionally interrupts the narrative’s emotional flow.
-Scope: A deeper exploration of intersectional trauma (e.g., race, class) could broaden its relevance beyond Sundberg’s lived experience.
Final Verdict
The Answer Is in the Wound is a masterpiece of survival literature—a book that wounds and heals in equal measure. Its brilliance lies in Sundberg’s refusal to simplify trauma, instead honoring its complexity with prose that cuts and comforts.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for the review copy.
Rating: 4.9/5 (A seismic, essential work that redefines what it means to carry—and transcend—pain.)
Rating: 4.9/5
Initial Impressions
This memoir-in-essays is a raw, luminous excavation of trauma and survival. Sundberg’s writing—equal parts lyrical and unflinching—refuses to conform to linear narratives of recovery, mirroring the fragmented reality of PTSD. Blending personal narrative with erasure poetry, research citations, and cultural critique, the book dismantles the expectation that survivors must “move on” from violence.
Emotional Resonance & Reactions
Reading this felt like witnessing a metamorphosis. Sundberg’s vulnerability—whether reclaiming her body through tattoos or dissecting her ex-husband’s court-mandated apology—left me breathless. The essay format amplified the emotional impact, with each piece functioning like a scar: tender, textured, and testament to resilience. Moments of dark humor (e.g., professional life as the problem) provided levity, while her engagement with trauma experts (van der Kolk, Levine) grounded the work in scholarly rigor. At times, the nonlinear structure disoriented me, but intentionally so—echoing the dissonance of healing.
Strengths
-Formal Innovation: Erasure poetry crafted from abusive emails and legal documents transforms pain into art, offering a visceral critique of systemic gaslighting.
-Cultural Urgency: Challenges the normalization of violence against women, particularly in how society demands performative forgiveness from survivors.
-Holistic Healing: Explores spiritual practices, somatic reclaiming, and professional rebellion as interconnected acts of self-restoration.
Constructive Criticism
-Pacing: Some experimental sections (e.g., fragmented timelines) may alienate readers seeking a traditional memoir arc.
-Theoretical Density: While illuminating, the integration of trauma research occasionally interrupts the narrative’s emotional flow.
-Scope: A deeper exploration of intersectional trauma (e.g., race, class) could broaden its relevance beyond Sundberg’s lived experience.
Final Verdict
The Answer Is in the Wound is a masterpiece of survival literature—a book that wounds and heals in equal measure. Its brilliance lies in Sundberg’s refusal to simplify trauma, instead honoring its complexity with prose that cuts and comforts.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for the review copy.
Rating: 4.9/5 (A seismic, essential work that redefines what it means to carry—and transcend—pain.)
March 16, 2025
I read this over the course of a few days, and whilst the entire book had me in tears, the ending really needing to hold them back.
Sundberg’s recount of her story is emotional and hard-hitting. It deeply goes into her feelings, memories and thoughts before, during and after her traumatic experience with domestic violence.
It’s uniquely done, with transcripts, email logs and letters- and her writing together with it all makes you feel her anger and fear. You feel how she felt, and you see the other side, that so many people never get to see.
Saying I love this book isn’t quite right. Because I will never love that people have these experiences to share. But I admire this book. I admire the courage, strength, anger and sheer force of will behind writing it.
Sundberg’s recount of her story is emotional and hard-hitting. It deeply goes into her feelings, memories and thoughts before, during and after her traumatic experience with domestic violence.
It’s uniquely done, with transcripts, email logs and letters- and her writing together with it all makes you feel her anger and fear. You feel how she felt, and you see the other side, that so many people never get to see.
Saying I love this book isn’t quite right. Because I will never love that people have these experiences to share. But I admire this book. I admire the courage, strength, anger and sheer force of will behind writing it.
March 24, 2025
&/);@@-*’, bf
September 9, 2025
One of the most stunning and gutting memoirs I’ve ever read. A collection of personal essays that each stand on their own, but together form a lyrically rich narrative of grief, escape, and reclamation.
March 12, 2025
Sundberg's engaging, thoughtful, and heartbreaking essays consider how the past continues to influence the author's present, sometimes in unexpected ways, as the legacy of trauma.
In her introduction she briefly chronicles her early life in a rural Mormon milieu, her escape to a term of university, and her youthful sense of adventure that led her to solitary work in the forest. She also notes that this sequence of lyric essays departs from her previous book, the account of an abusive marriage in her memoir Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival. Here, Sundberg is concerned not just with survival but with the complex aftermath of trauma, of how survivors live in the world when we have been profoundly damaged by it and when our capacity to trust has eroded.
The form of this set of essays is distinctive, even unique: Sundberg incorporates redacted found text to link sometimes brief snippets of memory and narrative. Often these are suggestive and elliptical rather than fully spelled out, inviting readers into the effort of co-constructing meaning.
There are startling images, poignant metaphors, and unusual turns of phrase. On one page the reader will be confronted with a stark statement: "One of the swans was murdered; he was stabbed in the night." And then the terse, elliptical language will open up into more lyrical and extended passages which meditate on abuse, sexuality, shame, and the female body.
A gorgeous, necessary book.
In her introduction she briefly chronicles her early life in a rural Mormon milieu, her escape to a term of university, and her youthful sense of adventure that led her to solitary work in the forest. She also notes that this sequence of lyric essays departs from her previous book, the account of an abusive marriage in her memoir Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival. Here, Sundberg is concerned not just with survival but with the complex aftermath of trauma, of how survivors live in the world when we have been profoundly damaged by it and when our capacity to trust has eroded.
The form of this set of essays is distinctive, even unique: Sundberg incorporates redacted found text to link sometimes brief snippets of memory and narrative. Often these are suggestive and elliptical rather than fully spelled out, inviting readers into the effort of co-constructing meaning.
There are startling images, poignant metaphors, and unusual turns of phrase. On one page the reader will be confronted with a stark statement: "One of the swans was murdered; he was stabbed in the night." And then the terse, elliptical language will open up into more lyrical and extended passages which meditate on abuse, sexuality, shame, and the female body.
A gorgeous, necessary book.
July 9, 2025
The Answer Is in the Wound is a gorgeous series of connected reflections. Although this is a book of essays, it reads much like a memoir because each essay is so deeply interlinked with what comes before and after, and specific themes and events are carried throughout the book. This creates a lovely arc, or multi-arcs. Sundberg moves through time deftly, without losing her reader. She is fiery and strong in her authorial voice, yet willing to portray herself honestly, with vulnerability and compassion, as she reflects on her upbringing, sense of place (or displacement) in her small hometown and the wider world, and experiences being a woman and girl who defines herself as smart, not beautiful. Reading this, I get the sense that Kelly knows herself very well. A trustworthy narrator who also treads gently as she parses through what's hers, what's been ascribed to her, what she's taken on and what she is ready to let go of.
This is one of those books that, because of its honesty, allows the reader to see themselves in a new light. It reveals as much about the reader (to the reader) as it does about the author. Or that was my experience. I recommend this book to anyone who has felt like an outsider, who'd experienced life as a woman (or knows women), and who has been locked in an abusive relationship. I'd go so far as to say it's required reading for anyone who has hurt or been hurt, which is almost everyone.
This is one of those books that, because of its honesty, allows the reader to see themselves in a new light. It reveals as much about the reader (to the reader) as it does about the author. Or that was my experience. I recommend this book to anyone who has felt like an outsider, who'd experienced life as a woman (or knows women), and who has been locked in an abusive relationship. I'd go so far as to say it's required reading for anyone who has hurt or been hurt, which is almost everyone.
August 27, 2025
4.5 - “I have screamed and screamed, and I will keep screaming for as long as it takes. I will scream until I have saved myself, and when I stop screaming, I will know that I have screamed for all of us—the women who could not speak.”
Thank you to Roxane Gay Books and HarperCollins for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
This beautiful, heartbreaking collection of essays reads almost like a memoir. Kelly Sundberg writes about her abuse and the aftermath in such an incredible way. She confronts the justice system and how it failed her, and the fact that her abusive ex-husband is still regarded as a good person by others. Her struggles are heart-wrenching, but there are glimmers of hope throughout all of the essays.
While it’s difficult to read at times, I found Sundberg’s writing to be captivating and raw. There is an innate honestly and vulnerability in these essays that makes it feel relatable. The essays are arranged in a clear order to provide this arc of trauma and healing. She acknowledges her trauma while also acknowledging how far she has come from it to the life she has created for herself and her son.
It feels like a different perspective on abuse, especially when it comes to the after. Sundberg touches on how it has affected her and that it causes her to do or react in ways she normally wouldn’t. Discussing this aspect of trauma felt important in a way that I had not yet come across. This is a valuable essay collection that I’m sure will resonate with so many people.
Thank you to Roxane Gay Books and HarperCollins for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
This beautiful, heartbreaking collection of essays reads almost like a memoir. Kelly Sundberg writes about her abuse and the aftermath in such an incredible way. She confronts the justice system and how it failed her, and the fact that her abusive ex-husband is still regarded as a good person by others. Her struggles are heart-wrenching, but there are glimmers of hope throughout all of the essays.
While it’s difficult to read at times, I found Sundberg’s writing to be captivating and raw. There is an innate honestly and vulnerability in these essays that makes it feel relatable. The essays are arranged in a clear order to provide this arc of trauma and healing. She acknowledges her trauma while also acknowledging how far she has come from it to the life she has created for herself and her son.
It feels like a different perspective on abuse, especially when it comes to the after. Sundberg touches on how it has affected her and that it causes her to do or react in ways she normally wouldn’t. Discussing this aspect of trauma felt important in a way that I had not yet come across. This is a valuable essay collection that I’m sure will resonate with so many people.
August 26, 2025
This book expands not only the timeline of the first memoir, Goodbye, Sweet Girl, but it expands the insights and learning. The author is now able to witness her life.
"To witness is to see, to believe, and to accept without judgment. ...This is not a burden but a gift. Maybe this is the lesson my spirit has chosen to learn in this lifetime." p. 228
I'm happy to add this to my collection of memoirs about the process of healing from trauma.
"To witness is to see, to believe, and to accept without judgment. ...This is not a burden but a gift. Maybe this is the lesson my spirit has chosen to learn in this lifetime." p. 228
I'm happy to add this to my collection of memoirs about the process of healing from trauma.
March 11, 2025
It’s the kind of book you read and read. You don’t stop to think, reflect or do anything. You just feel and read. It’s devastating and triggering but also beautiful. Memories of abuse follow you everywhere and Sundberg offers a glimpse of transforming the rage into strength. A highly recommended book for those who want to understand post traumatic recovery. Thank you Netgalley for the e-ARC
March 20, 2025
6⭐️
[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]
an absolutely stunning collection of autobiographical essays. i loved the geographical metaphors, & the way the author weaves her tales together was so beautiful. absolutely one to pick up
[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]
an absolutely stunning collection of autobiographical essays. i loved the geographical metaphors, & the way the author weaves her tales together was so beautiful. absolutely one to pick up
August 19, 2025
This brave and honest memoir about trauma and healing was deeply personal for me. I felt as though someone had read my thoughts and decided to tell parts of my story. This book has earned its place in my 5 star memoirs hall of fame!
August 22, 2025
A stunning collection of interrelated essays on Sundberg's trauma from a pattern of abusive relationships. Speaks to general themes of domestic abuse and how/why women's stories are not always believed. Not only is Sundberg's story raw and heartbreaking, her writing is positively captivating.
March 24, 2025
Bhjjj
June 5, 2025
This was a searing, heartbreaking, and empowering book. I loved the way the lyric essays were woven in with the erasure poem. I love how honestly and directly Sundberg writes. The book drew me in and although much of the content was difficult and devastating, what I was left with was the author's strength, voice, and love.
Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced review copy.
Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced review copy.
August 17, 2025
An absolutely stunning memoir about Trauma and healing. Raw, honest, emotional, heartbreaking and incredibly inspiring.
August 30, 2025
You have such a unique voice, and I really admire the way you were able to make every page so engaging. Honestly, it’s one of those books that stays with you long after reading.
Read
September 10, 2025Made me want to read her first book.
Audiobooked this. The narrator handled all the repetition well.
Audiobooked this. The narrator handled all the repetition well.
August 29, 2025
I waited 7 years for this book and I'd do it again for her next one, but I hope I don't have to.
Thank you Grove Atlantic / Roxane Gay Books / Netgalley for allowing me to read this in advance. What a treat.
Thank you Grove Atlantic / Roxane Gay Books / Netgalley for allowing me to read this in advance. What a treat.
July 29, 2025
First of all, I loved the memoir in essay format which really lended to the readability of this one as it’s broken up into short chapters. Fans of You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith will love this (I ADORED that one as well). The essays themselves can standalone (and have as some have been published) but are designed to be read in chronological order. I felt that was really thoughtful and creative. Although it is described as lyrical, I felt it was very approachable and readable.
Kelly Sundberg’a story was raw and realistic but also somehow left me feeling hopeful. I really enjoyed this one and would recommend to lovers of memoirs, poetry, and anyone who craves more insight into intimate partner violence (or victims that just want to feel seen and inspired). I’ll definitely be reading Sundberg’s other memoir after this one. Bravo
Kelly Sundberg’a story was raw and realistic but also somehow left me feeling hopeful. I really enjoyed this one and would recommend to lovers of memoirs, poetry, and anyone who craves more insight into intimate partner violence (or victims that just want to feel seen and inspired). I’ll definitely be reading Sundberg’s other memoir after this one. Bravo
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