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352 pages, Hardcover
First published July 15, 2025
“Because with my mum, I understood that there came a point when I had to let her go,” he said … “Because it was the natural order of things. It made me understand that there are limits to what science can and should be doing. That it shouldn’t interfere with that natural order.”
“Thing is, Kesta” Jess sniffed, "he’d definitely want you to be happy”… Kesta just nodded and smiled. People didn’t have a clue what Tim had wanted, and yet these days, they seemed intent on telling her that he’d want her to move on.”
“Jess, Grief isn��t something you can leave behind in the long stay car park at Gatwick Airport. It goes with you everywhere.”
"The microscope always held the answers. It foretold the future. It sealed your fate. It bore hope and death together, clutching them in the same impartial hand. The microscope never lied at 350 times magnification.”
“She was in the grip of mitosis, collapsing in on herself and splitting into two. A new version of Kesta had separated from the first, taking all the hallmarks of the original, but something other, something different. The two Kestas must exist as one: the grieving widow at work and the scientist nursing a zombie in her flat.”
“… she realised she wasn’t doing all of this for Time. She was doing it for herself, perhaps more so. She didn’t want him to die because she didn’t want to lose him, didn’t want to accept that this irrevocable schism in her life was permanent.”
“As she sat there in the afterglow, she knew she had been deluding herself. She’d thought they were in this together, she and him, as they had been since the night they met, when they gave up their own lives to share a single life between them. But Time was in this alone, wasn’t he? He was soldiering his way down to the abyss without her.”