What We Left Behind

by Robin Talley

From the critically acclaimed author of Lies We Tell Ourselves comes an emotional, empowering story of what happens when love may not be enough to conquer all.

Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. They've been together forever. They never fight. They’re deeply, hopelessly in love. When they separate for their first year at college—Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU—they’re sure they’ll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, theirs is bound to stay rock-solid.

The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected. Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing, but Gretchen struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship.

While Toni worries that Gretchen won’t understand Toni’s new world, Gretchen begins to wonder where she fits in Toni's life. As distance and Toni’s shifting gender identity begins to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide—have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them together?

Genres: Young Adult, LGBT, Contemporary, Romance, Queer, Fiction, New Adult

416 pages, Hardcover

First published October 27, 2015

About the author

I live in Washington, D.C., with my wife, our baby daughter, an antisocial cat and a goofy hound dog. Whenever the baby's sleeping, I'm probably busy writing young adult fiction about queer characters, reading books, and having in-depth conversations with friends and family about things like whether Jasmine's character motivation was sufficiently established in Aladdin.

My website is at http://www.robintalley.com, and I'm on Twitter and Tumblr.

Reviews

[Emily May · Rating 1 out of 5]

This might be my most disappointing read of 2015. I have been so excited for this book. There are so few books out there about people who identify as genderqueer that I couldn't wait for this book to be available. But it did so many things wrong.

Firstly, I knew early on that this wasn't going to get more than three stars. It read like a textbook or essay discussing and informing the reader about being transgender and being genderqueer. The story itself - about Toni and Gretchen's relationship - was weak and underdeveloped. Starting with instalove and never growing into anything that interesting, it merely served as a platform for the issues to be discussed.

But that wasn't a completely bad thing either. I would have given this three stars if it educated teens about people so rarely represented in YA.

There were many discussions about the fluidity of gender and language. I found this latter particularly interesting and enjoyed learning about the ways language has changed to incorporate LGBTQIA individuals and words like sexism and homophobia. But the book started to really go downhill when it began to completely misrepresent what it means to be "genderqueer".

You can read many blog posts and articles by people who identify as genderqueer, you can watch videos by those who are genderqueer and hear firsthand what they have to say about it. But to summarize, being genderqueer means that you do not identify with "masculinity" or "femininity", you do not simply fall into either box. This might be because you fall somewhere between the two, having both traditionally masculine and feminine gender traits. Or it might be because you find yourself somewhere outside the expectations of either.

It is not, however, a transition period in which you decide which gender you belong to. And it annoys me so much that this book suggests genderqueer people are those who haven't made their minds up which gender they want to be. That is NOT true. Just like bisexual people are not those who simply haven't decided whether they like girls or boys yet.

But that's not all that bothered me.

I hated the disdain for every white heterosexual person in the book. Both Toni and Gretchen comment on this. Gretchen doesn't want to be "straight" because it's so "normal", and Toni comments on her roommates all being non-white but is relieved she brings some LGBT diversity. Sexuality and gender identity are not fashion statements! It's not about being cool! Bloody hell.

My issue with this isn't because I feel so sorry for all the poor white heterosexual people, it's because it sells the right-wing misconception that gay or transgender people have disdain for straight, cisgender people. It's so stupid! And so wrong!

I think the only straight, cisgender character in the book that isn't mean is Toni's little sister Audrey. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. The others are viewed like this:

Joanna gets up at six in the morning to start a ninety-minute hair care regimen, and Felicia wears designer high heels every day even though they always get caught in the sidewalks. Joanna and Felicia are the ultimate gender conformists. Neither of them has the right to talk about feminism until they stop posting pictures of themselves in bikinis.

Because feminists can't possibly want to be attractive and take pictures of themselves in bikinis, right? ...Wrong!

I'm also confused about the decision to have Gretchen befriend a homophobic, transphobic guy who calls Toni a "shemale". I thought it was going to be part of a lesson/message the book was imparting, but nope, she just decided she liked him.

This book was just a complete mess. I'm so so disappointed. I really am. We need more books with genderqueer characters, just not like this.

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[Jessie Lee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read the ARC of this book, and I'm really disappointed in it. I think I would've liked it, except . . .

The genderqueer representation is not good at all. First, (I'm going to refer to the genderqueer character only as T through this review so as not to spoil things) T does the WORST thing that reinforces the WORST stereotype about genderqueer people. T acts like a hipster "babydyke" (another character's word, not mine) and goes around calling everyone by gender neutral pronouns, until the very end of the novel. It would be one thing if this was a mistake, but T continues doing so even after one of the transguys explains why it's hurtful for many people and why it's not okay. Secondly, T is portrayed consistently as "confused." This is fine; I've been plenty confused about gender identity myself (I have identified as genderqueer since high school) but it is not okay, repeat, not okay for an author to portray a character as officially genderqueer and then have their thought process be, "I think I might be transgender, and I might want to transition ftm, I might want to go on hormones, I might get surgery, but then again I might just be "gender variant" (T's word) or "gender nonconforming" (also T's word) but I'm not sure right now, I'm really confused so I'm just going to go with genderqueer."

Being genderqueer is in one sense a lot like being bi: many, many people will go out of their way to tell you it's not a real identity, it's transitional, that you're really just confused. For a book to clearly present a character (all the way to the end) in a manner that reinforces all those toxic stereotypes is really problematic. There is even a point where transguys in the group invite T to come over, joking that they are having a "meeting of the formerly genderqueer." If we're trying to be representative of an identity (genderqueer) then this is not okay.

I think what happened is that the author was trying to subvert a stereotype, but ended up playing right into it. In fact, (SPOILER ALERT) the book ends with T saying "I'm still not sure, I'm still confused, I'm still figuring things out." Again, confusion is fine. Everybody is always figuring things out. But if that's the case, say the character is confused about their gender identity; do NOT call them genderqueer! Genderqueer is a real live identity that real live people who aren't confused live every single day.

Finally, while this book DOES present some of the frustration and worry associated with being non-binary in an accurate way, that's the only thing it presents. Lots of confusion, lots of frustration, and lots of negativity. The only time T talks about actually feeling good is when T spends the weekend presenting completely 100% as male. Which again, is fine, but then don't say the character is genderqueer. That's not what genderqueer is. Being genderqueer comes with some frustrations, but it also comes with some wonderful feelings and really self-defining and affirming emotions. WHAT WE LEFT BEHIND didn't touch on these feelings at all, and honestly, to me T doesn't come across as genderqueer.

After all that, I love Gretchen's character! I think she grows and changes and I love her chapters. I admire her courage to set out on her own even though it was difficult, and I think she grows into a strong person who stands up for herself and chases the things that are important to her.

[Adri · Rating 1 out of 5]

I agree with this review in every respect. Still, I will try to elaborate on my thoughts.

This book is problematic in more ways than I can describe. Do NOT look to this book to educate you on the trans spectrum or the queer community in general. This is not good queer representation, even worse genderqueer "representation" (if it can even rightfully be called that), and I would encourage you to avoid it at all costs. This is Glee in novel form; it wants to be a catchall for ALL THE CHARACTERS, all the identities, all the ethnicities, but it ends up having an overflowing cast of underdeveloped, poorly-represented characters who lack depth and complexity.

Again, this book will NOT educate you on the trans spectrum and what it means to identify as genderqueer. Genderqueer is NOT a pit-stop between binary identities. Please don't pick up this book just because it's about an identity other than "gay." You will learn nothing about any identity mentioned in this book.

This book fails to acknowledge the complexity of identity and labels, despite the fact that it's basically 400+ pages of pure queer angst at its most dramatic. One can be trans and genderqueer. One can present as either masculine or feminine (or mostly masculine/feminine) and still be genderqueer. People who identify as genderqueer can feel like they fit both parts of the binary, or neither. Furthermore, those of us in the queer community who choose to use labels use the best labels that we know how at any given time; it's not abnormal for someone to go through many labels in their lifetime. Identity and sexuality is fluid; people can spend their whole lives figuring it out. Does this book acknowledge any of that? NO. This book fails to represent those who identify as genderqueer in a true and nuanced way, and if you know nothing about the identity, you will walk away from this book more confused than ever.

This narrative tries to merge prose and queer theory under one cover, but unfortunately every time any of the characters start thinking or talking about identity/sexuality/labels, the narrative becomes derailed and reads like a textbook or an academic article. The theory feels forced and inorganic--like it doesn't naturally fit in the story at all. This story and this premise were basically created to serve as a soap box, and honestly I feel like the author just used this book as opportunity to rant about queer theory. Subject should not overpower character, yet in this case it does. Significantly.

What's more, I could practically see Robin Talley checking off the diversity checklist before my eyes. Tell me why both MCs in this book are rich white members of society who are basically gathering friends from every background imaginable, just so they can step back and be like, "Ah yes, now my collection is complete." Like I said, a literary incarnation of Glee. That's the most scathing remark I can manage to convey my disgust.

On top of ALL OF THAT, the characters are horrendous. I appreciate how awful and unlikeable the two main characters are, because it shows that members of the queer community are not infallible; we don't know everything, we're just as confused about labels and theory as anyone else, we make tons of mistakes. Bearing that in mind, the characters were still terrible and what's more, they were terribly written. Cheesy and dramatic to a fault, one-dimensional, self-involved, incapable of communicating, participants in instalove, I couldn't take either one of the main characters seriously. Their problems were transparent and predictable from the very beginning, and I didn't sense that they had changed much by the end of the story, even though they finally had one [real] confrontation.

There are so many little details that this book got absolutely wrong. I could probably write a 20-page, single-spaced, 0.5 margin essay describing exactly where this story went wrong, but honestly I'm exhausted and angry. There are as many different experiences as there are people in the queer community, and this book fails to do justice to any of them. Because there are so few mainstream YA novels about genderqueer and trans characters, the fact that this book fails to accurately represent either is that much more upsetting. I've said it multiple times already, but please do not go into this book hoping to become further educated on the trans spectrum. This is not good representation.

Biggest disappointment of the year by far.

[Sue · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book will contain spoilers, and quotes from the book.

When a book opened up with a relatable litany such as these:





You’re bound to think, “Oh, hell yes. This shit might be good.” It better be good.

However, What We Left Behind drastically failed in every standard that I was highly holding itself into. There are a lot of offensive and alarming situations that made my skin crawled.

There is a prominent character in the story, named Caroll. He is gay, and he keeps using transphobic and lespobic slurs. He never got called out for that. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t give you the right to undermine your peers, especially since you have an inkling about each other’s struggles. He could also be seen a handful of times saying really awful transphobic shit, being passed as a cheap joke. There should’ve been a trigger warning for this.

An icing on top, one of the character also said something very biphobic. Alas, this character also never got called out.

I nod. “So is Inez bi or what?”

“Last I heard, she identifies as heteroflexible.” Derek laughs again.

“So she’s a step up for me. My last relationship ended because it turned out his idea of bi meant ‘screwing every other guy within a hundred-foot radius and then lying about it.’”

I pause with my drink halfway to my mouth. “Wait, what did you say?”

“Oh, it’s nothing bad. Heteroflexible means she mostly likes guys, but not always. She thinks it’s more accurate for her than bi.”

I understand books aren’t perfect, but when you’re representing a single group, you don’t have to throw the rest of the LGBTQ+ clause under the bus to make your book relatable.

The prose the author was aiming to deliver was about how difficult it is to figure out your sexuality and gender identity. It’s daunting and confusing. Though, sadly the execution of it was perplexing, instead of being enlightened I feel oddly winded up. I see that’s the reason why a lot of readers felt bereft with What We Left Behind.

Lastly, the relationship between the two main characters had so much potential. But, once again, it failed disastrously. There’s a lot of undermining on both of their parts, it’s painstaking to read. If you're looking for a book with a good f/f or wlw, this is not it. I supposed, the purpose of it was to show how to navigate relationship when you’re a teen. Even though, that’s the case Gretchen easily become very dear to me. I just wish the story was fleshed out.

Jessie Devine’s and Adriana’s review perfectly captured what went wrong with What We Left Behind. I highly recommend reading their nuanced thoughts.

[Charlotte Annelise · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF
The writing in this book is quite poor – I cannot finish it.

[Antonia]

Another YA book by the fabulous Robin Talley and it's involving not only homosexuality but transsexuality?

[Tricia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Review to come

Okay. I've been looking forward to this review, mainly because I have a lot to say. So lately I've been reading a lot of LGBTQ to broaden my horizons. Unfortunately, I haven't liked many of the books in that genre. This book was one of those books.
Plot: So this book was about a lesbian couple who basically have their entire lives planned out: together. The two girls names are Gretchen and Toni. Toni is struggling to find out who she is, and identifying as genderqueer, because she doesn't feel male or female. Toni is going to be attending Harvard, while Gretchen is going to Tufts, near by. Although, when Gretchen unexpectedly gets taken off the wait list for NYU, she decides she wants to go there. But she doesn't tell Toni until the night before they leave for college. Naturally, Toni is pissed but doesn't show it. Apparently this couple never fight. Never. Is that even possible? They've been dating two years and haven't had an argument.
Okay, so now all the problems I had with this book:
1. They most be all super smart. Like, the only colleges mentioned were Harvard, BU, NYU, Tufts, and Yale; which I know are all extremely hard schools to get into. Also, they were like the only colleges I knew when I was little, meaning they're very well-known had seemed to be picked just because they're well-known.
2. Toni goes to Harvard but never goes to class?? They complain about homework and studying...but that's it. Like, not a single class or teacher was mentioned. I feel like in these books there's always a supportive teacher to guide the students way through life and accepting who you are.
3. Again, the fact they never fight?
My last complaint is how confusing it was. There are so many characters and they were all introduced at once. Most of the characters were LGBTQ, but it was hard to figure out if they were trans, or bi, or gay or lesbian, or genderqueer, like Toni. It was never clearly specified what the multiple characters identify as, and I kind of had to figure it out myself. Also, Toni and Gretchen both had close guy friends at their separate school, but for some reason I kept getting them confused.
Overall, I really liked the idea of this book but I was just very confused and felt like there were a lot of loose ends like:
Does Gretchen ever rekindle her friendship with her best friend at NYU? (sorry, I forgot his name)
What happens with Tony and his mom?
Does Tony get the surgery?
Are Tony and Gretchen back together?
Who really cares about Chris's relationship with Steve?
Would Gretchen still be lesbian if she's dating a trans woman? (or man, whatever Tony identifies as)
What happens to Tony's sister Audrey?

[Steph Sinclair]

OMG. YES. YES. YES.

[Megan (thebookishtwins) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received this free from the publishers via Netgalley

All quotes are from my arc edition and may be subject to change

Toni and Gretchen are the perfect couple. They never fight and are expected to be together forever. But then college comes along, Gretchen to NYU and Toni to Harvard and they are sure they'll be ok. However, the distance does put a toll on their relationship. Toni is genderqueer and when T finds a sense of belonging with a group transgender upperclassman, Gretchen struggles to find out who she is outside of their relationship.

I adored Robin Talley's other novel Lies We Tell Ourselves, so What We Left Behind was high on my anticipated reads for this year. However, I was left extremely disappointed with this novel.

I'm not massively educated on things like transgender or genderqueer. What We Left Behind suggests that those who identify as genderqueer are just confused about their gender identity, where as my impression was that those who are genderqueer identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders. However, What We Left Behind seems to insinuate that it is a transitional period for people to decide which gender they belong to. When talking about a transgender meeting, this is said:

"Come hang out with us, T!" Pete calls. "We're having a support group meeting for the formerly genderqueer!"

The plot was also incredibly weak. It actually read like a textbook on gender identity and sexual orientation, and the only noticeable plot was the relationship between Toni and Gretchen, which in itself was weak.

Toni actually has quite a large disdain for straight and cis-gendered, and outright feminine girls, and T won't give them the time of day for that exact reason.

'Besides, who the hell are they to talk? Joanna gets up at six in the morning to start a ninety-minute hair care regimen, and Felicia wears designer high heels every day even though they always get caught in the sidewalks. Joanna and Felicia are the ultimate gender conformists. Neither of them has the right to talk about feminism until they stop posting pictures of themselves in bikinis'

I personally didn't know that not being feminine was a requirement of being a feminist.

Why do they always have to dress that way? Gretchen doesn't. Neither does Ebony. It's like Joanna and Felicia are trying to be as girly as humanly possible

While some of the girls aren't nice people in general, I think this is the wrong message to send to young people. All girls don't have to dress the same. Some are 'girly' and some are not. People dress and look differently. Toni is really adverse to gender specific pronouns and gender specific labels and things in general. Which is fine, but T seems to want to force T's views on everyone else, and tries to force labels on others and everyone T meets T tries to put them in a box and to see which box they fit into, such as being transgender and cis etc, and then T decides whether T wants to like them.

"You couldn't tell about Eli, so you were checking him out hard-core for, like, ten minutes."

When Toni doesn't use pronouns for T's transgender friends, and T gets called out on it as to why it is problematic and why it is important for them, T still won't use pronouns for them for the sole reason as T doesn't like them.

Toni also seems happy that T brings some LGBT diversity to T's roommates, as if race and sexuality is some fashion label.

I'm the only one of my roommates who's white. Ebony and Felicia are both black, and Joanna is Vietnamese. I felt a little weird at first, like I was boring next to them. Then I remembered that I bring in the LGBTQIA diversity angle, so I was still contributing

Also, Gretchen's new friend is transphobic and it is never really addressed and Gretchen still continues to befriend him without addressing the issue.

Overall, I wasn't particular impressed with most of this novel and it is a huge disappointment. Perhaps, i'm wrong with what i'm talking about, so please do correct me and call me out if i've said something wrong/offensive.

[Claire]

Hm. Hm. Mixed feelings about this one, enough that I'm not really sure how to rate it at all.

My first impression was: holy shit, we have come a LONG way since I was a teen! A non-binary character who's on a journey! Happy queer teens dating in high school and having realistic dating feelings! This is new, and neat.

Less thrilling: you've got a whole group of (presumably) extremely smart, politicized trans Harvard students and not one of them says, hey, dude, you know the whole pronoun thing? U R DOING IT WRONG. Really, nobody says, hey, Toni, you've got it backwards, you state your pronoun for you and *I* state my pronoun for me, and when I tell you what my pronoun is, you use it. This whole "I'm going to call everyone by gender-variant pronouns despite the fact that they've told me their actual pronouns are [whatever]" going uncorrected was frankly bizarre. Also for heaven's sakes, kiddo, THE SINGULAR THEY EXISTS. Hard to believe that in 2016 Toni would be willing to use ze/hir but not the singular they for grammar reasons.

Also less thrilling: not until five pages before the end does anybody suggest therapy?!?

Also truly not thrilling at all: the tone-deaf blinders around race and privilege.

But... gosh, it's not Geography Club. Things really have moved since the early 2000s, and that really is something. There were many different types of queer/trans characters in the cast overall, and that's something interesting too.

[Tilly Booth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to come!

[Heatherblakely · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hahahahaha I am SO glad to be finished with this book.

I loved Talley's first book. Lies We Tell Ourselves had a few issues in terms of race representation, but I was able to get past most of those and focus on the story and be swept up in it and then get too emotionally involved and have a mini breakdown. It was fine. I was fine with it. But What We Left Behind rubbed me the wrong way the entire time I read it.

I am cisgender and have always identified that way, so I cannot entirely speak for how genderqueer people were represented in this book. However, I can say that Talley did with genderqueer people what a lot of authors do with bisexuals: making it seem like this identity is just a transition period to another identity. That's incorrect and horrible. These identities are not a phase, and acting as such is damaging, because this kind of representation gives people (people who don't understand, or don't want to understand, any kind of fluidity) the impression that these things are just a phase and shouldn't be taken seriously and are just a stepping stone. I understand that identity can be confusing, but Toni's struggle throughout the book made it seem as if being genderqueer meant being confused and judgmental all the time before finally "deciding" to be trans (which, again, is damaging because it came off like Toni was making a choice in this, which is not. how. it. works.).

And then (and this is going to be a rant), Gretchen, Toni's girlfriend, is upset and drunk one night and sleeps with her only friend at NYU, who is a gay guy. That's what immediately pushed my rating to two stars, because I'm sick of this story. First of all, the guy she sleeps with is rude and judgmental and all around awful, but we're supposed to feel sorry for him because he's gay and is having trouble coming out. Yes, dealing with that sucks, but no, that does not give you the right be a judgmental asshole. Would any of the things he said be forgivable if he had been a straight guy? No. But cis gay men are so high up on the LGBTQIA hierarchy that people just let them say whatever the hell they want and get away with it. Second of all, I'm so sick of the lesbian-sleeps-with-a-guy trope. SO fucking sick of it. Do some lesbians sleep with men before they come out, or while they're figuring themselves out? Of course. But not all of us do. And it seems like the former happens a lot more often in media than the latter, which is incredibly damaging because people think that all lesbians are interested in sleeping with men. Not true. We don't all get drunk or confused or freaked out and sleep with guys, and we need to see some more lesbians who do only sleep with women. And then Gretchen was the only character I even remotely liked (except for Audrey, Toni's sister), and even she was intolerable of the time because she was too much of a Hufflepuff for me to stand. Stop being so nice. You're allowed to be selfish. You're allowed to fucking take care of yourself. You'll do better for other people if you fucking take care of yourself first (also she smiled way too much) (stop SMILING ffs). (Also, come the fuck on, if your new gay bff is supposed to be fashionable, because he's a stereotype, there's no goddamn way he would let you out of the house in CROCS.)

Plus, everyone in this book was so judgmental. Toni lives in a suite with three other girls, and insults two of them all the time for being very feminine and enjoying expensive things.

Joanna gets up at six in the morning to start a ninety-minute hair care regimen, and Felicia wears designer high heels every day even though they always get caught in the sidewalks. Joanna and Felicia are the ultimate gender conformists. Neither of them has the right to talk about feminism until they stop posting pictures of themselves in bikinis.

Ha yes because feminists obviously cannot post pictures of themselves in bikinis! Heaven forbid we show off our bodies because we're confident and proud! And heaven forbid we enjoy wearing high heels! I went to school in Boston, too, you asshole, and sometimes you wear heels even though the sidewalks are made of bricks BECAUSE YOU JUST WANT TO WEAR HIGH HEELS. It all came off as hating on anyone who observed mainstream binary gender practices, which is so hypocritical. If you don't want someone judging you for how you identify, you sure as hell do not get to criticize how anyone else practices or performs their gender identity.

And the way that race was discussed rubbed me the wrong way. I can't even pinpoint everything, but it was so incredibly irritating and felt so fake and wrong. It felt like most of this book was trying to be inclusive and teach people about things, but half of it came off as preachy and the other half was just plain fucking frustrating and wrong.

[Miranda Kenneally · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book reminded me so much of what it felt like to leave high school and go to college.

[Rashika (is tired) · Rating 4 out of 5]

***This review has also been posted on The Social Potato

I don't really read New Adult. It's not because I have something against New Adult, I mean I've read and loved several New Adult novels, my problem is that I never feel like I am being represented in New Adult. I go to college and here is a truth that people won't tell you: college is all about being angsty. The angst doesn't magically disappear once you get into college. You aren't magically transformed into an adult. There is angst, lots of it. And sometimes it's romantic but a lot of times, it isn't. A lot of times, it's just you trying to figure yourself out and that's what What We Left Behind is about. It is about angst, relationships but most of all, figuring life about. And no, there are no real answers at the end of the novel or in life, to be honest. For the first time, I feel actually represented in New Adult. I may not be dealing with the exact same problems as the main characters of the book (not even CLOSE) but there are so so many things that are reflective of MY college experience and I like that.

Also the diversity in this book. OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS. WE LOVE DIVERSITY. WE LOVE REPRESENTATION. Or I do... and if you don't... that's kind of just sad (SORRY. It had to be said.)

So is this book perfect? The answer to that is NO. Not at all. This book can be problematic, the characters can be really unlikeable sometimes and the romance is kind of a pain to read about but I also loved this book because it is REAL. It is so real I cannot even tell you (I'll try though because I love y'all.)

The first crack in Toni and Gretchen's relationship is when Gretchen doesn't tell Toni right away that she would rather go to NYU instead of be in the same city as Toni (paraphrazing here guys...) Over the course of the book, their relationship really suffers, because you know what, LOVE ISN'T EASY. Especially if you're an angsty teenager. Trust me (or don't because I literally do not know anything.)

So let's talk characters. Toni is selfish. Toni is a horrible significant other. Toni's first semester of college is all about Toni. And you know what, that's how most of us feel. College is that place where you come to find yourself. I crossed an entire ocean to do that! For a lot of people, that first term is about being around people who you think finally understand you and what you've gone through your entire life. So you want to be around them. You want to tell them your entire life story, You want to figure yourself out by using them as a lens. Another horrible truth: most college kids are actually pretty self-centred since we are all trying to figure ourselves and our  lives out. SORRY. ITS HARD. So even though Toni is kind of a jerk, Toni is realistic. Toni's experiences are very real. I've seen several of my friends experience them, I've experienced some of them myself! 

So where does Gretchen fit in? Is she the perfect girlfriend? NO! She is also a big mess. Gretchen has been in a relationship with Toni for the past two years so her first term of college is all about her trying to find out who Gretchen is. And she doesn't magically find out. She becomes friends with the most obnoxious kid in the world. Carroll was a major douchecanoe. HATED HIM. But people like him are out there. Who are obnoxious and fail to understand other people's experiences. I only wished the way he ways in which he was problematic was explored more. Going back to Gretchen though, she kind of sucks that first term too. She is clingy, self conscious and has a low self-esteem. She is so realistic though. It takes her a long time to find out who Gretchen is and when she does, it's beautiful. 

So would I recommend this book? Yes and No. This is clearly not a book for everybody and you know what, not everyone will love it. Not everyone will be able to deal with the angst (I usually hate angst too so I FEEL YOU), not everyone will want to look past all the bad, but at the end of the day, there will be people who will read this book and see themselves reflected in the experiences of these characters. Like I did.

PEACE OUT, POTATOES.

Note that I received an advanced copy of the book in exchange for an honest review

[Maddie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although it was super fun to read about queer characters, and for the main focus to be discovering your identity and romance, I thought that the characters got way too bogged down with labels and putting themselves into a specific box, when there are no boxes! I appreciated reading about the struggle of finding something you identify with, but maybe there's such a thing as being too self-aware, and it might be best to just let yourself be yourself without trying to justify it to the universe.

[Amber (Books of Amber) · Rating 2 out of 5]

This review was originally posted on Books of Amber

Lies We Tell Ourselves was one of my favourite books of the year last year, and when I found out that Talley's next book would be about a girl who is a lesbian and a character who identifies as genderqueer, I was incredibly excited. Unfortunately, I was more than a little let down by What We Left Behind, and the reason for that lies with the character of Toni.

There are two main characters, Toni and Gretchen, but What We Left Behind focusses mostly on the genderqueer character, Toni. Toni started off okay and all, and I was interested in reading about someone who identifies in such a way, and also about someone who is still wondering which label or labels they want to assign themselves, but by the end Toni made me want to tear my hair out.

Toni was incredibly preachy, and when reading from Toni's point of view I felt like I was reading an essay. There was a lot of info-dumping and none of it felt particularly natural, as info-dumps rarely do, and on top of that Toni was a self absorbed prat who didn't deserve Gretchen. I understand/acknowledge/agree that Toni was going through a lot of difficult things relating to gender and identity and sexuality, but those things can't really be used as an excuse here. Whenever Toni had a chapter (i.e. throughout most of the book) I was subjected to an essay about identity and genderqueer-ness and sexuality. And yes, those things need to be talked about and I'm all for representation, but if I wanted to read about them in a non-fiction format then I could have found all this stuff online.

I did, to begin with, enjoy the discussions that the characters had about identity and pronouns and language, but again, it was all put forward in the wrong way, in my opinion.

I've also read a couple of other reviews on the topic of genderqueer representation and they were interesting. You can find one of them here, which talks about how Talley doesn't do a great job of representing genderqueer people. I don't feel like I'm educated enough on that particular identity to provide much of a comment, but the review was an interesting read. I would agree that What We Left Behind seems to label genderqueer as a transitional period rather than a real identity or label.

On another note, I really started to dislike Toni when Toni met two girls and said they have no right to talk about feminism or be feminists until they stop wearing bikinis. Like. Mate. You're completely missing what feminism is about. Do you think we all have to go around in hoodies and jeans to be legit?!

And I suppose I'm going to leave the review here as I don't have much more to say. I'm disappointed, but I'm open to reading more from Talley in the future.

[Belle · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book has been on my to-read list for a long time, and I really had high hopes for it. But, dear god, I could not stand this book. And I have a lot to say, so sit tight:


To me, this is NOT a good book for genderqueer representation… or ANY representation for that matter, because despite this book being filled with queer characters, many of them are so excruciatingly ignorant and problematic. Seriously, I expected so much more from a novel that’s supposedly LGBTQ+-friendly, but this book was a freaking train wreck, which makes me question whether the author really knows anything about being genderqueer or actually wants to create positive representations of queer people. Throughout the novel, the characters constantly put others down, frequently marginalize non-binary characters and act superior over them… and in the case of one character, he is severely transphobic and frequently uses transphobic slurs, among other incredibly offensive, degrading language. This book should be titled, “How NOT to write a queer character.”

Now, I started off actually liking this book. I thought it was sweet how Toni and Gretchen met across the dance floor at their prom. Then when they find out they’ll be going to different colleges, I was a bit “Meh.” Maybe I’m just not into that trope. I mean, it’s REALLY not the end of the world, guys. And do you really expect to go everywhere together in life, even if that means sacrificing your own ambitions and independence just so you can still see each other every day? But still, It was whatever. Not that bad. Then they go to college, and that’s where everything goes downhill, and where Gretchen meets Carroll, who I deem the most awful character I have ever had the misfortune to know. Remember the character who says a ton of transphobic things? This is him. And seriously, he is so awful. Despite being gay himself, he just reminds me of the typical sexist, cis-gendered dude-bro that we all strive to avoid at all costs. So you’d think that with his own sexuality he’d know better and come with his own complexity as a character. Nope! This is not the case. At all.

The worst part is that Gretchen, for whatever reason, actually LIKES HIM, despite the fact that he pretty much insulted her partner right off the bat:
“But I can already tell Carroll’s going to be a good friend.”
Um, not really??? He’s kind of a huge douche. And I’m sorry, did he not just say, “What, is your girlfriend one of those hard-core bra-burning lesbo feminazis? Cause you don’t seem like that type at all.” Not to mention he just made fun of Toni for not using she/her pronouns and repeatedly said he knew how to spot a “lesbo.”

All together now: UGHHHHH.

Oh, but this isn’t the end of Carroll saying incredibly offensive things. Not even close. Because pretty much everything out of his mouth for the rest of the novel is so bafflingly ignorant, and he especially continues to be hostile and extremely transphobic in regard to Toni:

- “Your girlfriend’s a man?”

“So, what, your girlfriend’s an it?”
(OH MY GOD, why does Gretchen like this guy again?!)

“your shemale ex”

"So...Are you into that? Are you one of those girls who's into the whole guys-wearing-panties thing, and vice versa? Like, does it turn you on?"

“SHE AND HER BAT- CRAZY TRANNY GIRLFRIEND ARE ON A BREAK!”

Part of me suspects that the reason he hates Toni so much (besides the fact that he’s just an ass) is that he latches onto Gretchen pretty quickly when they meet, since he doesn’t have anyone else (GEE, I WONDER WHY). So he hates any moment when he realizes that Gretchen isn’t just his, and he quickly becomes entitled, which also makes Carroll an extremely immature character. Not to mention the fact that he is also a sexist douche toward Gretchen too, sexualizes her bisexual identity (ew), and accuses her of being trans:

“You’re such a little fifties wife already. Hey, if she becomes a guy it’ll be legal even in, like, Russia, right?”

“I knew you had an inner tramp.” (In response to Gretchen saying she had 8 girlfriends in 5 years).

(Because Gretchen said she’s not a girly girl) “Does that mean you’re kind of trans, too, like Toni?”

Toward the end of the book, Carroll and Gretchen go out and get drunk, and Carroll makes Gretchen dance with this other girl to get her mind off Toni. Well, one thing leads to another, and out of frustration at Toni, Gretchen sleeps with Carroll. But then Carroll gets mad at her over this and makes it seem like it’s all her fault when HE’S the one who told Gretchen to dance with a random girl to forget about Toni, and HE’S the one who said “If you won’t dance with her, I will!” And then he blames HER for what happened, which leads him to say this:

“What I remember is you dancing like a maniac in that club, hitting on everything that moved, like some bi nympho or something.”

So rather than own up to his actions and partial responsibility for what happened, Carroll instead paints Gretchen as the evil bisexual who threw her sexuality everywhere even though that’s not at all what happened. Great example of biphobia, along with every other way that Carroll is the most problematic character ever. And the worst part is that he makes Gretchen feel like she’s the one who should feel bad and who should feel responsible for what happened, and she goes on believing it for the rest of the novel. She even misses him and wishes things could go back to normal between them. Like… girl, don’t miss him! Do not even feel remotely bad about what happened, and don’t let him make you feel like you’re the bad person. Just be glad you’re rid of that piece of garbage excuse for a human!

Besides Carroll being literally the worst character ever, the other character I couldn’t stand in this story is Toni. Now, it’s fine to be confused about your identity and to explore different options. But she takes it to another level by acting like she knows so much more about gender than everyone else when it doesn’t seem like she herself has a freaking clue. I felt like a lot of the time she was trying to force habits just so she could be ~alternative and above gender~, not necessarily because that's how she naturally felt. Like, the amount of times throughout the novel that she spent focusing on and agonizing over pronouns is unbearable. And it didn't seem like that was the most important thing in the grand scheme of things, but she convinced herself that it was and kept going back and forth over it, trying "they" and then trying "ze" and "hir," and half the time she'd end up slipping and using "she" pronouns for other people anyway. Yet at the same time, she would lecture everyone else on the gender binary and pronouns, as if she was the expert on it all... when she wasn't perfect either! News flash: it's called ASKING what peoples' pronouns are. And, you don't have to use gender-neutral pronouns for everyone, especially if they already identify as "he/him" or "she/her"!



Side note: I also thought this book did a terrible job at properly going into what being genderqueer means and representing it. Many times, characters talk about what it means to be genderqueer, often treating it as being indecisive and not making up one's mind yet, like what Carroll says here:

“The site said a lot of genderqueer people are just kids who haven’t made up their minds yet whether they want to be a boy or a girl.”

NOPE, that is literally not what it means at all. Genderqueer is not a phase. It's not an in-between point until you figure out whether you're a boy or a girl. Genderqueer, in simplest terms, means that one's gender does not fit in with socially constructed norms of gender. In terms of "boy or girl," it can mean being both or neither. It can mean existing anywhere on the spectrum in between masculine and feminine. That being said, it would probably be a great fit for Toni, since it doesn't assume any specific label (other than genderqueer), it doesn't enforce anything, and it allows for variation and ambiguity (what with Toni not wanting to 100% identify as either a girl or boy)

The other irritating trait about Toni is that she’s so focused on distancing herself from the gender binary and being mad at others for not understanding, yet she goes out of her way to judge and criticize others who are within the binary, which?? Just like you wouldn’t want to be judged for being outside the binary, why would you judge others who do identify within the binary? You can’t help how you identify, and even if you don’t like the binary, some people feel comfortable in it. Let them! That is honestly so counter-productive to look down on someone because they fit the feminine role, and it just reeks of being snooty and feeling superior over others, not to mention it’s misogynistic. If you want to know what I’m talking about, Toni basically hates her two roommates for being cisgender. Sure, they’re not perfect, but attacking them because they’re feminine does not make you the better person:

“Why do they always have to dress like that?… It’s like Joanna and Felicia are trying to be as girly as humanly possible. They might as well be wearing signs that say "We’re Cisgender, and Don’t You Forget It.”
Oh my god, WHY DO YOU CARE?? Why do you go out of your way to judge them and deem yourself superior?! You’re literally so obnoxious

Oh, but wait! In case that wasn’t bad, then Toni shames her roommates and claims they can’t be feminist if they wear bikinis:

“Joanna and Felicia are the ultimate gender conformists. Neither of them has the right to talk about feminism until they stop posting pictures of themselves in bikinis.”

You. Did not. Just say that. Oh, my god. Do you… do you actually know what feminism is? Probably no more than you know what being transgender is! I know you’re having a hissy fit with this whole thing about how no one understands you and how you think your girlfriend is so much prettier than you and is probably better off without you in New York, wah wah wah… but shaming other women for wearing bikinis and feeling good about themselves is not the answer!

For these reasons, I just couldn’t stop seeing Toni as a brooding, ugly, immature bully throughout this whole novel. And a lot of times, I honestly just found her to be pretty pathetic. The way she latches onto Derek and wants so badly to impress him by telling him she’s transgender. How she claims that she hasn’t let her friends at school influence her, yet literally just based her decision to break up with Gretchen around what she thought Derek would do, and even continued to hang onto his every word and basically said, ‘Wait, that’s NOT what you would do?’ (Oh my god, Toni, make your own damn decisions!) And then when Derek called Nance his best friend, Toni just couldn’t handle it:

“Wait. Best friend? Nance is Derek’s best friend? What does that make me?”
Dear lord, are we in elementary school now?! -__-

** *
I’m sure there are things I’ve left out in this review, but basically this novel had so many irritating characters in it who were either severely ignorant, transphobic, misogynistic, biphobic, or marginalizing toward non-binary people, despite the fact that this novel should be queer-friendly, which I don't think it is. It doesn't give proper representation to those who are truly genderqueer, and there are just so many other problematic things about this book that I couldn't stand. I don't even feel like putting this under my "queer lit" shelf because I don't feel that it's a good queer book. And I just looked up the author, who is apparently cisgender and who writes queer books outside her own experience. So, this is a very good example of how sometimes, cis-people just shouldn't write queer books.

[Elle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heart-breaking but important story of first love and self-discovery from one of my favourite new young adult authors. What We Left Behind follows perfect couple Toni and Gretchen as they attempt a long-distance relationship during their first year of college. But as Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, begins to consider transitioning from female to male, the cracks in their relationship begin to grow.

What We Left Behind is a difficult book to read and enjoy, because it’s not a happy book. I remember all too well how difficult that first year of university can be, but Toni and Gretchen’s problems far exceeded mine. The reader knows going in that What We Left Behind is a break-up book, not a typical love story, but it’s still a little depressing to watch Toni and Gretchen slowly fall out of the close relationship they used to share. That said, I soldiered through the book and I’m glad I did; every single reservation I had about What We Left Behind - from the cheesy insta-love connection between Toni and Gretchen, to their communication issues, to their major character flaws - was discussed and dealt with by the end of the novel. The actual break-up scene, which I was expecting to be the lowest point for Toni and Gretchen in the novel, was actually a wonderfully empowering and uplifting moment for both of them.

Both Toni and Gretchen are flawed and occasionally unlikable - Toni is judgemental, while Gretchen is overly dependent, and both make mistakes with life-changing consequences. Both characters were so flawed that I did find it difficult at times to sympathise with them; however, it was satisfying to see them acknowledge their flaws to themselves and grow as individuals, with and without each other.

A lot of reviewers have expressed their discomfort with Toni’s identification as genderqueer, given that it suggests to readers unfamiliar with the term genderqueer that it’s a transitional phase for people like Toni, who are confused as to where they fit into the gender spectrum, rather than an actual and valid gender identity. I didn’t feel that was the case; if anything, I found Toni’s transgender friends’ dismissive treatment of Toni’s identification as genderqueer (and their determination from the moment they met Toni to see Toni as a trans man who still hadn’t come to terms with their identity) much more problematic than Toni’s use of the term. Toni, on the other hand, repeatedly reminds the reader that they’re not entirely comfortable with the label genderqueer, as it doesn’t truly fit Toni. Like other readers, I would have liked Toni’s friends to be more accepting of Toni’s identification as genderqueer, but just as Toni and Gretchen are presented as fallible and occasionally unlikable, so are Toni’s friends, and I don’t necessarily think Talley meant for the reader to agree with their assessment of Toni’s gender identity.

If you like complex, diverse characters and bittersweet love stories, I recommend giving this book a try. Many thanks to Mira Ink for providing a copy of What We Left Behind in exchange for an honest review. What We Left Behind will be published on October 22nd in the U.K., and October 27th in the U.S.

Publisher: Mira Ink/Harlequin Teen
Rating: 4 stars | ★★★★✰
Review cross-posted to Paperback'd

[Sassy Sarah Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

What We Left Behind by Robin Talley

1 star

Toni and Gretchen are a couple like no other. They don’t fight or have conflicts. Everything is perfect. Then things start to change drastically. Toni and Gretchen are in different states for their first year of college. Gretchen and Toni don’t want to be another statistic of couples not working on for long distance. Toni identifies as genderqueer and prefers not to use pronouns to define gender. Gretchen doesn’t really understand Toni’s GQ status, but supports Toni. As Toni begins to find a place in the LGBTQ+ community at Harvard their relationship begins to crumble.

The premise of What We Left Behind seemed like it would’ve been this thought provoking novel that introduced what it meant to identify as genderqueer. I went into this novel hoping to learn something, but I feel like I’ve learned absolutely nothing. I don’t know even know exactly where to start with my thoughts on this book because all I feel is anger. I absolutely DISLIKED this novel and I’m really disappointed by what this novel set out to do and how it went at a different crossroads. There will be spoilers in my review because it’s the only way I can express the reasons I didn’t like this novel.

This novel opens up with Toni at the Homecoming dance. It was a big day for T who has been granted the ability to wear pants to an all-girls’ school. Toni’s story received media coverage that has become front page material. It’s a big day and all eyes are on Toni. Gretchen is the new girl at school who hasn’t officially started going to school yet, but was forced by her parents to attend in hopes of making friends. Toni and Gretchen instantly feel an attraction to one another and the night ends with a kiss.
“If anyone could fix the world’s problems, it just might be this girl with the red hair and the top hat.”

The beginning of Toni and Gretchen’s story is very sweet and I instantly liked this brief glance at the characters in the prologue. Toni and Gretchen both had a very distinct voice and the novel was off to an okay start. Instantly I saw the writing was juvenile. The writing has no solid voice or flow. It’s your simple run-of-the-mill writing that offers nothing to quote or shout from the top of my lungs screaming about the lyricism spread between the pages. As the story progresses, Talley’s writing becomes more problematic. The juvenile writing style being mixed with a few comments interjected throughout the novel contradict everything Talley wants to establish. I supported Talley strongly at first. It’s great that a NA novel is focusing on genderqueer characters and their relationships with those around them, but Toni was the opposite of a genderqueer character. Toni strongly started out with genderqueer views, but wasn’t sure if the views of a GQ were something T also believed in. As the story progresses, it seems as though Toni was never GQ in the first place, but someone who couldn’t find the proper label and needed to find one. That’s the problem with this novel- it’s all about labels. Toni who hates labels with a passion also needs to put people into labels and find what label T also fits in. The whole story is a contradiction of what the story stands for and it baffles me.

Whimsical Writing Scale: 2

Toni and Gretchen’s relationship is also a huge problem for me. I liked how they started and they genuinely seemed like a good couple. They seemed to balance each other out.
“I never imagined that being one half of a whole could make you feel more whole all by yourself.”
By page 28, shit is already hitting the fan when I caught that Toni is under the impression that they will both be in the same city, Boston, for college. Immediately I was like, “The synopsis is misleading. It’s all a lie.” This was starting to bother me because a false synopsis is just as a bad as a spoilery one. On page 36, Gretchen drops a bomb on a Toni the day before they leave for college and tells T that she is going to NYU.

What?!?! How is it okay to keep such a big secret from your significant other? The DAY BEFORE THEY LEAVE FOR COLLEGE and you are just going to spring the fact that you are going to another state. That’s not okay. Toni claims that the relationship with Gretchen is one where their souls are laid out bare to one another.

In fact, once this happened I instantly began to dislike Gretchen. It becomes clear that this couple isn’t perfect and they have their fair share of problems, which I liked seeing, but not in this way.

I’m dedicating a whole section to the evolution of Toni’s gender. At the beginning of the novel, Toni does not use gender pronouns and even Gretchen refers to Toni as T instead of she, which is something I really liked. As Toni starts to make friends and finds a place in the Harvard LGBTQ+ group, a lot of conversations and debates begin. Toni never corrected the group when they started to refer to Toni as he, but Toni eventually tells them that T doesn’t use pronouns. A big debate sparks where Toni immediately learns another friend used to only use they pronouns to refer to people. Toni places Pete in a box on the “trans spectrum” and this novel immediately started to crash and burn for me. Toni begins to worry and overanalyze pronouns. Toni brings up a good point about he and she being unnecessary because they were fabricated by humans, but I find myself not agreeing with Toni’s presentation of thoughts. Toni’s feelings on pronouns felt forced and I couldn’t bring myself to care. Once Gretchen finally goes up to Harvard for a Halloween party a bomb is dropped that Toni doesn’t identify as genderqueer, but gender nonconforming. This book contradicts itself too much. I get that it’s supposed to be about changing and growing apart, but Toni changes ideas and values every second. It seemed like every time a new chapter was introduced Toni had a whole new outlook after a debate. Toni is a wishy-washy person. I’m all for change and growing, but every change Toni made felt forced and unsure. Toni, who originally couldn’t fathom the thought of wearing a bind, wore one on the night of Halloween. After running into T’s drunken roommate Ebony she makes a comment about Toni being a pretty girl and getting rid of her boobs. Toni is immediately offended, which I totally get, but Toni has the problem of blowing everything out of proportion. The world is against Toni and Toni is the victim. Suffice to say it became obnoxious. Toni forgets that people are human and say offensive and sometimes hurtful things. I think that this is Toni’s problem. Toni forgets humanity in the grand scheme of things and only worries about gender and labels. Toni forgets that people are human and not a gender. Toni becomes so obsessed with gender that T no longer seems human. Toni becomes a person who only ever thinks about gender and doesn’t seem to do much else than overanalyze this topic. Eventually Toni begins to use “they as a gender-neutral pronoun” and it becomes painstakingly clear that Toni doesn’t know who to be or stand for. By the next chapter, Toni has begun using ze and hir pronouns, which are made-up pronouns, that are used as non-conforming gender pronouns. I’m incredibly annoyed and unsure of Toni as a character. Toni is becoming unsure of whom Toni is as a person and it is starting to irritate me. I get that Toni needs to find out who Toni is as a person, but it becomes really aggravating when it seems that Toni isn’t a person at all. Toni is someone just hanging onto everyone else hoping to latch onto to the right person and pick up the perfect personality trait. Audrey (Toni’s sister) asks Toni if the people T has become friends with are peer pressuring Toni into becoming more transgendered. Toni immediately gets defensive, but it’s something that I’ve started to wonder because it seems like every debate spurs Toni to become somebody new in the next chapter. In chapter fifteen, the header that identifies who POV changes from Toni to Tony. A huge change and also Tony is now gender variant. Tony also decides to pose a guy for the interview at Oxford, which goes against Toni’s original views of no gender. Tony takes a flight to Washington, D.C. to talk to T’s mother and confesses that Tony identifies as a boy. Tony reveals to his mother (he has also started using gender pronouns at this point),
“When I was a kid I used to lie in bed at night and pray that when I woke up in the morning, I’d be a boy.”
which was a huge reveal that I was not expecting. Tony has been repressing the urge to be a boy and he couldn’t accept it. This is pretty heartbreaking and I feel for Tony, but I just can’t get behind the execution of this novel. Tony’s repression of sexuality is the cataclysm for a big reveal, but why was the constant battle to be something in a certain label so far from the truth? It felt like Talley just wanted there to be a gender for Tony and Tony couldn’t be Tony unless he was a boy. Naturally Tony is freaking out because he isn’t sure if he is a boy or not and he just told his mom he was. I get that Tony is overanalyzing this situation (yet again), but if he didn’t identify as a boy then he wouldn’t have told his mom that. Tony just needs to realize that.

Gretchen identifies as a lesbian and when talking to a friend she makes at college, Carroll, she makes comments that has my mouth flapping about.
“I can’t help it. The word straight makes me shudder.
It’s not like I have a problem with straight people or anything. I’ve always had tons of straight friends. It’s just being straight seems so… obvious. So conventional. It’s never felt like me.”
I get that Gretchen doesn’t identify as straight, but how is saying that being straight is conventional is okay? I don’t get it. This double standard really bothers me because it constantly is brought up in spurts throughout the novel. Gretchen is the more likable character out of the couple, but she isn’t the best and she pisses me off. Gretchen and Toni eventually break up, which is no surprise because it was a matter of when. After being depressed for a while, Carroll forces her to go out and they end up having sex, which results in Carroll loses his virginity. Carroll is pissed and moody about the whole situation. I already hated Carroll because he is crass and says the crudest things, but his treatment towards Gretchen was harsh. I understand Gretchen needing to find solace and as they say sex is the best medicine. She should’ve just found somebody else especially since Carroll is a boy and she is so vocal about being a lesbian. I want to address Gretchen’s roommate Samantha, who in my opinion is an awesome friend. Gretchen never gave Samantha the amount of respect she should have because she was a genuinely good friend who gives good advice.

Character Scale: 1

For a novel about being so pro-equality for genders and nonconforming genders, this novel has its fair share of racist and ignorant comments.
“The only thing you need to know about race and politics is that white people suck.”
The reason why this is offensive is because no matter what race you were to put in the place of the word white (seriously do it with different ethnic groups) and it is still offensive. I don’t support hate to any race even whites because if it seems okay to hate on just one race then it seems okay to younger people to hate on them. This novel while in a college setting is a novel I know younger readers will pick up because they want to learn about this topic or understand themselves if they connect to these characters, but having brief comments like this isn’t okay. Not only are there a few racist comments, but I found myself offended by a comment made by Toni towards two roommates.
“Neither of them has the right to talk about feminism until they stop posting pictures of themselves in bikinis.”
I’m sorry, but isn’t feminism equality for both men and women. If these girls want to post a picture in a bikini they can because it’s their body and if they are confident in it then who cares. Toni’s comment really pissed me off because it’s just another one of those double standards that this book seems to be full of. Something that also really bothered me was this brief section about Harvard not being predominantly white. All these characters that we never got descriptions of are suddenly black and different ethnic races, which are great because diversity, but it felt like Talley just dropped that into say, “Look how diverse this book is. It’s not just featuring white transgenders, but everybody.” I’m all for that, but don’t do it in a way that is just casually mentioned 293 pages in to make a statement.

This novel seems like it would be about not being in labels, but like I mentioned earlier in my review, Toni needs to place people into labels. The problem with these labels is that everything became a stereotype. This novel felt like one big stereotype. Character that is different from everybody else falls in love with perfect girl. Only this is what happens after that and it’s an interesting take, but the characters all need to fit into little boxes. There’s an over flamboyant gay best friend, a Goth roommate, a lesbian with a penchant for cooking, transgendered characters who T immediately needs to figure out if they identify as boy or girl, a burly lesbian who has slept with everybody, and a club that stands for a good cause, but doesn’t focus on it. These are ALL stereotypes. This novel goes against everything it was marketed as.

For me, What We Left Behind didn’t do anything for me informatively. I really wanted to learn something, but I didn’t. This book was just all about the drama, labels, and the most hypocritical character I’ve encountered (Toni/y) and all I can say is read at your own discretion. Don’t expect to be informed or moved, but I recommend considering it if you are interested or affected by the topic. As for me, fuck this book.

Plotastic Scale: 1

Cover Thoughts: The Australian copy is the prettiest.

Love it. I do like the simplicity of the U.S. one, but it’s typical. I like the UK one’s little gender signs. It’s a good representation of the novel.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

REVIEW TO COME CLOSER TO RELEASE DATE

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was overall, a really good, amazingly written, informative, educational story about two people who love each other. I really liked reading how Gretchen and Tony grow as characters and how they evolve as people. They are definitely flawed humans, as we all are, and I think other readers may view that as problematic but I don’t. Tony doesn’t represent every genderqueer person, so they should be allowed to question their gender, and how they identify and they should be allowed to not be sure who they are. That means that if they want to use he/his pronouns they are allowed that right and so all the reviews I see referring to Tony as she/her is transphobic. Now Gretchen is allowed to be confused and I liked seeing her grow and learn as a person but at times I’ll admit she and Tony both frustrated me with the lack of communication. Relationships thrive with communication so the main reasons there was so much stress between Gretchen and Toni is because they didn’t communicate. But I liked the ending; with them realizing communication is key.

Now I really liked the side characters, especially Derek and Samantha, but I hated Carroll so much which caused me to really get annoyed with Gretchen for putting up with such blatantly transphobic character.

Now, there is review on goodreads that I’ll link below that I feel explains why this book is great and explains what genderqueer means much more accurately.


https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this review and more on my blog!

I received an eARC of What We Left Behind from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review - thanks to MIRAInk and NetGalley for letting me read this book early!

Check out my review of Robin Talley's debut, Lies We Tell Ourselves , here.

Last month I read Robin Talley's debut novel, Lies We Tell Ourselves, and with her third novel, As I Descended , being one of my most anticipated reads of 2016, I think it's safe to say that Talley is an author I've been keeping my eye on, so I was thrilled when my request to receive an eARC was approved.

Sadly, I didn't love this one. In fact I struggled to finish it.

Something that really excited me about this book is the inclusion of a genderqueer protagonist. Before now I hadn't read a single book with a protagonist who identified as genderqueer, and it's so important that people who identify as such are given a voice in literature just as much as any other member of the LGBT+ community. Now the first thing I must say is that I am cisgender and, as such, my reading experience with this book is probably very different to someone who identifies as genderqueer - in other words, people who identify as genderqueer will know a lot more about the representation of gender fluidity than I do, so please keep that in mind when reading my review. If you identify as genderqueer and haven't read this book yet, it could be that my opinion of it doesn't help you to decide whether you should read it or not. Okay? Okay.

There is a lot of discussion about sexuality and gender in this book. I love that. Sexuality and gender need to be discussed more, and lately, in YA in particular, I've seen a lot of LGBT+ representation, which I think is fantastic. Having said that, there were times when this novel felt more like a piece of non-fiction; it was as though Talley was simply using Tony (I will be using 'Tony' and 'he/his' pronouns throughout this review) as a puppet through which she could discuss all the thoughts about gender that are bopping about in her brain.

I'm sorry to say that Tony got on my nerves, too. He doesn't have a great home life, and for that I completely sympathised with him, but there were times when he was just so selfish. It's important for us to have stories like this one about people who are trying to figure themselves out - I think we spend our whole lives constructing and deconstructing ourselves - but Tony is so concerned with his own self-discovery that he forgets the people around him are people with their own hopes, dreams and fears. He assumes Gretchen is just going to follow him everywhere and do whatever he wants, and yet he refuses to explain his worries to her because he doesn't think she'll understand. Then he accuses her of not understanding. I also didn't appreciate his jealous streak, or his pretentiousness; at first he doesn't like to use gendered pronouns, which is totally his call to make, but he never considers how not using pronouns for other people might make them feel. Some people feel uncomfortable when gendered pronouns aren't used for them, and it's hypocritical of Tony to demand something for himself he's not willing to do for others.

I wasn't keen on Tony's thoughts concerning heterosexual women, either; two of his roommates are pretty horrible, but he thinks they don't count as feminists simply because they like to 'conform to gender stereotypes'. It was almost as thought anyone outside the LGBT+ community wasn't worth his time, and I didn't like that.

The person I hated most in this novel, though, was Gretchen's 'best friend' Carroll. Despite being a gay man from a very homophobic background, and therefore knowing what it was like to feel belittled and anxious because of his sexuality, he was incredibly rude to other members of the LGBT+ community. He was particularly rude to Gretchen when talking about Tony - the guy had some serious transphobia going on and it really bugged me that Gretchen never told him where he could shove his frankly disgusting opinions. I spent most of the novel hoping he'd get hit by a bus.

I appreciate what Talley was trying to do with this story, I just didn't feel it; it didn't move me in the same way Lies We Tell Ourselves did, and I wasn't too keen on the insinuation throughout the novel that people who identify as genderqueer simply haven't decided whether they're male, female or non-binary yet. It's almost like saying that someone who is bisexual hasn't decided if they're gay or straight yet. I don't think that is Talley's view - and one thing I did appreciate is that neither of her protagonists are perfect, not by a long-shot - but it still came across that way and it made me uncomfortable.

So I didn't love this, and I'm disappointed that I didn't love this, but I'm still looking forward to reading more of Talley's work, because I think we need more authors like her who are willing to tackle subjects like this one.

I'm going to leave a link to Layla @ The Midnight Garden's review here, because she felt very similarly to me about the book and managed to phrase everything far more eloquently than I have!

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

* I will be using the name Tony and he/him pronouns for him throughout this review because that is what Tony has decided to use at the end of the novel.

I really feel that this book should not be marketed as having a genderqueer main character. Not only does it show a horrible representation of what it means to be genderqueer but Tony thinks several times about how he doesn't like the term genderqueer.

That I'm definitely somewhere on the transgender spectrum, and that even though I've spent hours upon hours upon hours reading websites and thinking about every possible angle of this stuff, I still haven't found a label that feels exactly right for me?

The truth is, I don't even like the word genderqueer that much

"I'm actually not really sure about genderqueer as a label," I said. "It isn't perfect, but the thing is, no label feels perfect."

Then there is the passage where Toni talks about how he found the term genderqueer.

"...I talked to these lawyers at the ACLU, and they asked me if I identified as genderqueer, because if I did, they'd put it in the argument. It would be the first time they'd had a genderqueer plaintiff in a case like mine. They were all excited about it. I didn't know much about genderqueer as a term, so I looked it up...But anyway, at least I got a semi-acceptable label out of the thing. So when I started coming out to people online and stuff, genderqueer was the word I used."

It's completely valid to not know your gender identity and to be confused, but don't market a book as having a genderqueer character when they actually aren't sure about it, not even at the end of the book. The book continues to misrepresent what it means to be genderqueer and makes it seem like a phase that one goes through until they pick a "real" gender identity.

Then there is Tony's personality itself. I could not stand Tony and I didn't think he had any redeemable qualities. I can not for the life of me understand what Gretchen sees in him. Through out most of the book he refuses to use pronouns for anybody. Another character calls him out on it and explains how that is hurtful and wrong. Tony says he'll think about it some more but he never does. He only starts to use pronouns for his own comfort with no regards to anybody else's feelings.

I decided to try using gendered pronouns full-time as an experiment...I don't have to stop halfway through a sentence and figure out what word to use. You forget how much simpler life is when you can just talk without thinking about it.

Tony spends the whole book saying how much he hates labels and pronouns and how he wishes nobody would use them. Upon meeting anybody new though, he tries to categorize people and put labels on them. When another characters call him out, again, he denies that he ever does this.

Also, no one's ever actually told me where most of the other guys are on the trans spectrum-they might be totally cisgender for all I know-and it kind of stresses me out not knowing how to categorize them

Tony is also incredibly judgmental of his roommates. Yeah, they are bitchy, but they are not horrible people BECAUSE they are cisgender girls who dress very feminine and like to take bikini pictures.

My feelings for Gretchen were not as strong. I was mostly just frustrated with her and the lie she tells at the beginning of the book. Then there is her incredibly transphobic, gay best friend, Carroll. She never calls him out when he says transphobic things, and by the end of the novel Gretchen still seems to think that any problems in their friendship were her fault. I do feel that Gretchen had much more character growth then Tony though. She recognized the mistakes she made and learned from them.

Despite the many problems I had with this book I still found myself enjoying it. What exactly I enjoyed about this book to give it a three stars I'm still not sure of, but there are two things I can say I liked. First, I was extremely pleased with the cast of queer characters, almost every single character in this book was queer. Many books (or other media) will only put two to three queer characters in. From my own personal life and from what I've seen others say online, this book is much more reflective of our lives. Second, I loved that this book subverted the insta-love trope. Through flashbacks we see that Tony and Gretchen had a insta-love attraction and their relationship was based off of that. Through out the book both Tony and Gretchen come to realize how this lead to an unhealthy relationship and that their relationship would have been stronger and healthier if they had taken the time to get to know each other and not put each other on pedestals.

I think if you go into this book with the idea that is about somebody who is unsure of their gender identity (not somebody who is genderqueer) it will be a much better read. It still has many issues though and I think it will leave many readers confused.

[MochaGeek · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was so normally and plainly written and boring that I, to this day, still can’t remember if I finished reading it or not. In fact, I have no idea what this book is even about?

[Birnenbrinchen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've never written a review before, but with this book I felt I had to, simply because I don't like rating books badly without explaining why. I have read the many bad reviews for What We Left Behind before I've read the book, but sadly I already had it at home and was also kinda curious if it really is THAT bad. (Spoiler: It is.) I'm extremly disappointed and also angry, because I think What We Left Behind is very harmful, considering that people read it who know nothing about genderqueer and transgender people yet.

Ok, so I'll try to not be too confusing as I have several issues with this book. Oh, and I'm not marking spoilers as it would be impossible to address all the issues without spoilering constantly.
What We Left Behind revolves around Toni (apparently genderqueer, more about that later. To keep it simple I'll refer to Toni as "they" in this review.) and Gretchen, who are a couple since High School and now go to different colleges, so they have to figure out how to deal with a long-distance relationship.

1. There's a lot of hate against cisgender, straight people & bad representation of the gay community
Aside from the simple lack of straight characters, which is understandable considering that Toni joins a LGBTQ-group in college, it bugs me that almost all straight characters are "bad people" or are hated on without good reason. This makes the LGBTQ community appear in a bad light. They seem hateful and narrow-minded. For example, Gretchen once literally yells "No!" when they discuss the fact that Toni would be straight if they are indeed transgender. Gretchen also once claims that she felt that being straight is "too normal" for her - seriously? Sexual orientation is not a choice or fashion accessory. What also bothered me was the fact that Gretchen looked at a boy for 5 seconds and thought "He is obviously gay." This isn't even the first time I've read something like this in a YA book. The only case in which you can think "they are obviously gay" would be if that someone is wearing a shirt with "I'm gay" on it. Quit feeding prejudices.

2. Bad representation of feminism
The first thing is kinda personal: In the beginning of the book Gretchen is described as a girl who's glowing without wearing any makeup. Toni doesn't wear any, either. Which is totally okay - but having read lots and lots of YA books, I've grown a little sick of these love interests of the main characters who "don't have to wear makeup". I think the only effect it has is that teenage girls with bad skin or who simply like makeup feel self-conscious about it. I see no point in glorifying not wearing makeup. And why do these girls always have perfect skin? At least let them not wear makeup despite having a few flaws. I love YA books because they are supposed to feel real.
Next, Toni once claims that girls who take pictures of themselves in a bikini could never be feminists. What kind of statement is that? Wearing whatever you want, liking yourself in any kind of clothes, being allowed to love feminine things is part of what feminism is about. Jesus.

3. Bad representation of genderqueer, nonbinary, genderfluid and transgender people
Okay, so this is the biggest problem I have with the book. What We Left Behind is made out to be about a genderqueer character - Toni. It is made clear that Toni is somewhere between or beyond the gender binary and I was actually excited to have them as a main character. The problem is that over the course of the whole book, Toni is confused. SO confused that they end up talking about what pronouns and labels to use for what feels like 99% of the chapters with their POV. Above all, genderqueer people are PEOPLE. But reading Toni's chapters often felt like reading wikipedia. Which would be less bad if the information given the reader wouldn't always be so questionable. Like, Toni wants to not use any gendered pronouns for anyone, which is not what most genderqueer people do - it's about using the right pronoun for everyone, about respecting everyon'e gender identiy. This book makes it seem like genderqueer people want to force everyone to not be binary, although it is completely okay for someome to want to be feminine or masculine. Again, bad light is shed on the LGBTQ community. In the end, Toni is "pretty much transgender" (I'm sorry, this is a bad expression, but the book makes it quite difficult to talk about the characters). Being genderqueer appears to be a phase in which people are confused and have yet to "choose a gender". In the beginning Gretchen even says that "genderqueer is like transgender". In the end, there's not a single representation of a genderfluid or non-binary character. Instead there are four transgender men, which makes me wonder why there's not more diversity in a book that claims to be about genderqueernes.

4. Gretchen's transphobic friend
On the first day of college Gretchen becomes friends with a boy who later refers to Toni once with "tranny" and once with "shemale" and he isn't called out for it. Both times he is angry, but that's not an excuse for his behaviour. I don't care if a character is a bad person as long as it is made clear. Overall he was very annoying as he often behaved like a little, sulky child. The only good thing about it is that Gretchen eventually ends the friendship.

5. Urge for everyone to come out
There are a lot of coming outs in What We Left Behind and not all of them go over smoothly. Nevertheless it is said (for example) that Toni "should have done it a lot sooner". It is also said that it is something you shouldn't do in a mail or letter. I am not a fan of urging people to come out. You have no obligation to come out to anyone, be it friends or family, if you think that nothing good would come out of it. It has also nothing to do with "not living in a lie". I think it should be made clear that this is a personal decision everyone has to make for themselves.

6. Toni's and Gretchen's relationship
The problem in Toni's and Gretchen's relationship is that they are not talking with each other enough. The are harmonious and avoid fighting. Gretchen often stays silent, because she is scared of saying something dumb or insulting and Toni takes it for granted that Gretchen always understand them. Especially Gretchen was very relatable - I've always liked her, how she was overwhelmed by Toni's world and how she wanted to know better, simply be a better person. Sadly, in the end Toni and Gretchen break up and it's the most mainstream scene ever. They changed, they live in different worlds, love comes and goes, bla bla bla. The worst thing is that they NEVER clear up the issue that they didn't talk enough. In my opinion, showing that through hard work and trying to be more attentive they can save their relationship would make more sense. Now it's nothing more than a "It's not anyone's fault.".

Wow, okay, that's a lot of text.
I hope you can understand why I'm so disappointed.
Overall I fear that people who do not know anything about genderqueer, nonbinary, genderfluid or transgender people (and I most certainly wouldn't call myself an expert) will be much more confused after reading this book and in the worst case will arrive at false conclusions.
I have the feeling the author is not aware of many of these problems – I think Robin Talley knows things better than how they come across in the book, BUT that doesn’t make the book better. Also, it is often unclear if false information about these topics is given because the charater doesn’t know any better (which I understand in Gretchen’s case) or because the author doesn’t (which disappoints me greatly).

[Christina (A Reader of Fictions) · Rating 4 out of 5]

With What We Left Behind, I’ve finally finished/DNFed every single book I picked up during BEA week last year. It only took a year. But hey, it’s still an accomplishment. What We Left Behind was one of the books I was most excited to acquire but then I accidentally ended up shuffling it to the bottom of the stack. Then, color me surprised to discover when I went to mark this currently reading on GR and I saw that the reviews were terrible. Well, I really liked this one, but I think it’s important that you go in with the right expectations, so heads up this review WILL HAVE UNTAGGED SPOILERS, because this is one of those cases where I think it might help. Also, I want to discuss things.

Having read this book now, I actually really understand the negative reviews, but I think it’s more a problem with marketing than it is with the book itself. There’s not a huge range of LGBT+ titles available, and What We Left Behind is the first I’ve encountered with a genderqueer protagonist. It’s right there in the blurb: “Toni, who identifies as genderqueer.” Obviously, I was excited to read about a genderqueer protagonist so I could learn more about that, because my knowledge is lacking.

Here’s the first thing that you need to be prepared for when coming to What We Left Behind: Toni does identify as genderqueer, but What We Left Behind isn’t necessarily about being genderqueer. If I had to categorize the LGBT+ experience in this novel, I’d say it’s more one of questioning, though that’s not the label that Toni has chosen for herself at any point in the novel. To be clear, I’m totally happy for Toni to choose her own labels, but, from a marketing perspective, the reader’s told to expect genderqueer, but the novel is actually about Toni trying to figure out which label fits her, and it might not be genderqueer. I mention questioning not to try to force a label onto Toni but because I think that, as a reader, her journey works better if you don’t expect her to know what exactly her gender identity is yet.

Another thing that you need to be prepared for: there’s a lot of really uncomfortable stuff in What We Left Behind. By doing a dual POV with Gretchen and Toni, Talley shows what this search for Toni’s identity is like from both sides of the relationship. Gretchen doesn’t really understand Toni’s search or gender identity, and she definitely thinks and says some less than supportive stuff, though she’s always trying. Her friend, Carroll, however spouts constant transphobic stuff along with other hate speech. He’s not meant to be a likable character in the end, but it really shocked me. I’m not sure if his role really added to the story for me, honestly, but I get what he was meant to do.

I really liked Lies We Tell Ourselves but I didn’t really feel the characterization that much, but I think Talley really does a great job with this dual POV. Gretchen and Toni have very different voices, and they felt real to me. What We Left Behind is the evolution of their relationship as they go off to college. They go from being the perfect high school couple to slowly fracturing in college. One thing I love about What We Left Behind is that things don’t actually fall apart because of Toni’s evolving gender identity, though that does highlight the cracks.

In high school, Gretchen and Toni dated for two years without every fighting. Seriously, they didn’t fight at all. They thought that was a sign of how perfect they were for each other, but the course of the book shows how unhealthy that was for them. It’s not like they never got annoyed at each other; they just repressed that stuff so they wouldn’t fight. Part of why Gretchen doesn’t understand Toni’s gender identity is because Toni never told Gretchen much and Gretchen feared they would fight if she asked stupid questions about it. Their long distance relationship starts out poorly because Gretchen had kept secret the fact that she was going to NYU instead of Boston University because she was afraid to fight with Toni, who had planned on them being in the same city. Couples are going to fight and repressing problems like these two always did made fixable issues irreparable fractures.

Almost all of the cast of What We Left Behind is diverse, either racially or in terms of sexuality/gender identity. White cis het individuals are hard to find, and it’s awesome. Falling in with a group consisting mostly of transgender boys really throws Toni into a search for gender identity. There’s definitely some encouragement for Toni to begin transitioning to male, but Toni’s not sure if that’s actually the right path. In some ways, I see the criticism that it seems as though What We Left Behind is making it seem as if genderqueer is a stop on the way to transgender, but I felt like it was pretty clear that those are not the same thing. Toni’s just not sure yet which one fits better. I was actually pretty anxious that Toni would rush into something before actually making a decision. Toni very much is the kind of person who wants a clear solution to everything, so he (which I use because Toni accepts masculine pronouns as of the end of the book) is constantly trying to hurry to a solution for his own sexuality. It’s very much a journey, and it’s not over at the end of the novel.

Whatever your thoughts on how well Talley pulled off What We Left Behind, I think it’s a really excellent novel for discussions. If you’ve read it, I’d love to talk about it in the comments.

[Ashley Owens · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book had some seriously terrible writing. Ick.

[Marci Laevens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book. My favourite thing was the fact that everyone was unsure…that seemed real to me. They are confused and selfish and say the wrong things even though they’re trying to say the right things. I didn’t like that none of the characters’ parents were supportive 🤨 Such a hard thing to go through without the love of those that are supposed to be there for you. Good book. I recommend.

[Kelsey · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5???? I have a problem with a good chunk of the characters in this book AND a lot of what happens. (Carroll's character is a straight-up asshole and nothing he does is okay.) But I do think this topic is important, especially for YA - so I'm definitely glad I read it.

[Josephine Knight · Rating 4 out of 5]

What We Left Behind is a stunning novel that highly features sexuality diversity within a light, sweet and fun atmosphere, while tackling the issues that come with discovering who you are and who means the most to you.

Robin Talley has created a wonderful novel that literally screams sexual diversity. Presenting to the reader two main characters who are still in the process of not just discovering who they are, but also their own sexuality, we get a glimpse into the lives of many who are coming to terms with who they are.

This is a brilliant story about love, friendships, growing up and accepting who you are despite the labels of society, all wrapped within a pretty bow of lightness and sweetness. I would recommend this book to everyone, being a perfect insider to the voices of our society that are too afraid to speak up for themselves.

The first and most huge stand-out of this novel is it’s approach to sexual diversity. It’s literally overflowing with it! Robin Talley presents two main protagonists who are both lesbian and are in an extremely loving relationship. Toni is the first protagonist and is dealing with the most challenging issue within this novel. Identifying herself as genderqueer, she struggles with keeping up her presentation of being the middle ground between male and female as she is exposed to a group of transgender friends in her new university. Gretchen is the other protagonist, who is much more comfortable and confident that she is indeed a female and is lesbian. Despite these differences, Toni and Gretchen love each other in the most powerful way. However, moving to different universities so far apart from each other prove to be more challenging than they thought.

What We Left Behind is a novel that tackles the struggles and hardships in coming to terms with who you are as a person in the most wonderful way. With all characters involved being from all over the LGBTQ spectrum, What We Left Behind seeks to naturalize all these genders in a very successful, light and fun way. Through the protagonist Toni, we get to see firsthand, through first person POV, all the complicated feelings that come with the confusion of trying to figure out where you fit on the male-female spectrum.

I absolutely adore the approach Talley has taken with this novel. I don’t know half as much as I should know about the LGBTQ genre and all the types of labels that comes with it. What We Left Behind is a novel that sheds light on it and will definitely not only help you understand these people better, but also understand and sympathize with the daily struggles that these people have to go through, not just within themselves but the struggles with their friends, family and loved ones. We see this through Toni’s struggle and development over the course of the novel, all from her thoughts of feeling like she doesn’t fit in to the female gender, to contemplating becoming transgender.

Not only is this novel about gender and sexuality diversity and identity, it’s about love and family and friendships. Toni and Gretchen believe their love will come through, no matter what. But with growing distance, going to different universities and Toni trying to figure out her identity, things get hard. This is such a genuine, heart-felt story. It shows how people part of the LGBTQ are treated by friends and family. Some situations are heartbreaking, some situations are treated with love and acceptance. What We Left Behind reveals the reality of it all. The importance of love, and the acceptance from your family and friends.

Wrapped in a wonderful bow of lightheartedness, quirk and fun, What We Left Behind tackles all these deep and pressing issues that need to be more addressed and naturalized in our society by presenting it within an adorable, extremely quirky story with amazingly funny characters that all have their own fabulous quirks to their personalities. Not only will What We Left Behind make you think deeply, it will also make you smile and laugh and it will entertain you thoroughly, with an adorable romance to match.