My Life in a Nutshell

by Tanya J. Peterson

My Life in a Nutshell: A Novel is the story of one man's struggles with debilitating anxiety. Brian Cunningham has isolated himself to such a degree that his human contact is barely more than an hour a day. While lonely, he feels powerless to change his life. Unexpectedly, his safe little world is invaded by one Abigail Harris, a seven-year-old girl who, for the last five years, has bounced from foster home to foster home. She has come to live with an aunt and uncle she has never known. Unsure if she can trust her new environment, she turns to Brian. Neither one quite knows how to live in the world. Can they possibly help each other?

Genres: Fiction, Mental Health, Contemporary

386 pages, Paperback

First published May 30, 2014

About the author

With credentials as a Nationally Certified Counselor and personal experience with mental health care, novelist and columnist Tanya J. Peterson uses writing to increase understanding of and compassion for people living with mental illness. Her most recent work, Twenty-Four Shadows (Apprentice House, 2016) has received a Recommended rating by The US Review of Books. My Life in a Nutshell: A Novel (Inkwater Press, 2014) was awarded a Kirkus Star, an honor given by Kirkus Reviews “to books of remarkable merit.” Further, Peterson’s My Life in a Nutshell: A Novel was named to Kirkus Reviews’ Best Books of 2014. The novel also received a coveted “Recommended” rating from The US Review of Books. Her novel Leave of Absence (Inkwater Press, 2013) was selected as a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards. Losing Elizabeth (Createspace, 2012) received Storytellers Campfire 2015 Marble Book Award, their highest honor reserved for a book that has made “a significant difference in the world.”

Additionally, Tanya J. Peterson is a weekly columnist for HealthyPlace.com’s Anxiety-Schmanxiety blog. She writes articles to help readers understand and overcome difficulties with anxiety disorders. She also writes the main article for their weekly newsletter as well as numerous articles appearing throughout the HealthyPlace website.

Tanya's writing both entertains and informs.

Reviews

[Teressa Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

How did Tanya J. Peterson know what is going on inside my head? Can she read my thoughts? ;-) Life in a Nutshell hit very close to home for me.

I have struggled with anxiety most of my life. Brian's attempts to deal with his anxiety, reminded me very much of my own issues. Here are some excerpts from the book, followed by my personal thoughts.

"I hurry to the door but stop myself before I throw it open. If someone's there, I'll get ambushed."

For many years, I was afraid to go outside by myself, especially at night. I was also afraid to open the front door if I heard a knock or the doorbell.

"He's always nice to me, but I'm afraid that he's just pretending."

I still struggle with this one. I have friends, but, especially with new friends, I always wonder if I've said or done something wrong or if they are just being nice to me.

Brian works at an elementary school. Part of his job is to check with the teachers, at the beginning of his shift, to see if they have any computer or equipment problems.

"First, I knock on their doors even though they're usually open. I don't feel comfortable barging into their classrooms or the office uninvited. I know they're expecting me; however, these spaces aren't mine and I can't bring myself to enter without express permission."

I have worked at the same job for five years. My boss has always had an open door policy with his office and no one else has ever knocked. For some reason, I always knock before entering. Every single time. So much so that he knows it's me without even having to turn around.

The fight-or-flight response is a basic physiological reaction that happens when people (or animals) experience a threat. In people with anxiety disorder this response gets mixed up. Here is Brian's description:

"My fight-or-flight response has kicked in, and my instincts tell me to run away and never look back. My instincts always go there. I guess my response to stressful, threatening situations isn't fight-or-flight. It's just flight."

I have had moments where my urge to run was so great that I had to have Art take my hand and nearly drag me into a place (my first and second Jeapardy tests for example).

"Door number one leads to a restroom, which my anxiety-irritated bladder would greatly appreciate using. My ridiculously shy and fearful mind, though, will never ask to use it, therefore, my bladder resigns itself to wait for home."

As I mentioned in my post on anxiety triggers, I sat through most of my first group therapy session needing to pee, but afraid to leave the room - afraid of "getting in trouble."

"My anxiety is flaring as I think about what I should do. I don't want to insult her by leaving, but what if she's trying to get me to leave? I glance up at her to see if I can tell what she wants me to do."

"Anything is okay. You don't have to agonize over this," she tells me matter-of-factly.

Whenever I'm at a party or visiting a friend I always worry about whether I am staying too long or leaving too early. I've found that as an anxious person it's very hard for me to read visual cues. Also, the golden rule of "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you" is a nightmare for a person with anxiety disorder. If I don't even know what I want how am I supposed to figure out what the other person wants?

Another thing we, as anxious people, tend to do is imagine the worst case scenario, and assume it is true. So-and-so didn't smile at me today like she usually does. She must hate me. It doesn't matter how ridiculous this sounds, and I swear to you that if someone else said it to me, I would tell them they were crazy. But as Brian says, "it's true for other people, but not me."

"I look from one to the other in an attempt to understand how each could assert a different position, defend it, and remain not only alive but seemingly calm. I can't explain it."

This is one I have only recently been able to realize myself. That not everyone comes undone if they don't agree. Disagreement does not have to mean the end of a friendship, or that someone will no longer like me. Took me almost 47 years to figure it out.

"What if I take a bite that is too big or too small or I chew wrong or I choke because I'm nervous?"

With my asthma and chronic cough, this is an especially large problem. Every Friday, at my work, the company buys lunch to-go from a nice restaurant and we all eat together. For the first four years I passed up this opportunity because I was afraid of choking or having an asthma attack.

Fortunately, Brian (and me) has some friends (and a good therapist) who give him good advice and care about him. Here are some examples:

"Ah, mistakes are such an integral part of the human experience."

"This isn't a judgement of who you are as a person."

I think the best part of the book is Brian's interactions with Abigail. Helping her helps him come out of his anxiety. I enjoyed reading Brian's setbacks and triumphs throughout the book, and remembering my own.

I seriously cannot say enough good things about this book. I HIGHLY recommend My Life in a Nutshell for those who are dealing with anxiety, as well as those who want to understand what we are going through.

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The human psyche is extremely fragile.

This is one of the best novels I’ve read in a while. It is written by a woman who has counselled, trained and been involved with others in the psychological pitfalls we humans face. This story is about a man in his thirties, Brian Cunningham, who can’t seem to get away from his mother who nags him all of the time, and is unable to step out and communicate with others without freezing up, is always full of anxiety and no matter how well anyone treats him, he always questions if he said or did something wrong, dressed wrong, just be wrong in some manner. He knows he has a good mind because he can take the most complex books, read them and understand what he reads, but he cannot place himself in a position to understand how to apply those books to himself. Eighteen years ago he hired out as the night janitor and since he can fix anything, even in the computer technological realms, he loves his job for he feels he is helping the children and he doesn’t have to talk to others. Any time he meets anyone, except his close friend, Roger, the day janitor, he just freezes. He doesn’t understand himself, only knows how he suffers when stretched beyond his comfort zone, and his mother, finally desiring to be free of any responsibility for him, forces him to see a psychologist to hopefully help him with his problems.
At the school where he is janitor, a little girl, Abigail shows up who is absolutely incorrigible, wets her pants whenever she gets upset and the first time she meets him while throwing a tantrum, he seems to understand her and he is able to calm her and make her feel happy. She has just been accepted as a foster child by a couple who intend to adopt her if they can manage it for they are aware she has been badly abused through the years and jerked out of one foster home after another.
Without Brian understanding why, as the story progresses he helps Abigail to overcome many of her fears and bitterness and the only time he feels adequate is when he is with her. The book is almost a page turner as Brian and Abigail pass through one trauma after another, until finally the story reveals Brian’s background and also Abigail’s. The author was able to take her knowledge and organize it in a way that the reader understands the emotional prison that holds people with such backgrounds.
I very much recommend this story.

[Emma]

*** I received a free ARC of this and my full review is at http://writerinawheelchair.co.uk/2014... ***

I think maybe this synopsis might put some people off reading this book but don't let it - it's a great book and maybe the synopsis doesn't do it justice. But at the same time a synopsis that did would probably be full of spoilers and we can't have that. Just give it a try because it's worth it. Tanya Peterson does a brilliant job of taking a difficult subject and doing it justice without making it boring, depressing or the sole point of the book. Brian and Abigail both have mental health conditions but they aren't the be all and end all the book - they also have personalities, interests and an existance beyond that despite the impact these conditions have on all parts of their lives. If you've ever heard me on disabled characters in fiction you'll know the "disability is all they are" trope is one that seriously annoys me. But this is avoided here.

[Sandra Stiles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love and kindness are two powerful tools when it comes to helping someone or overcoming issues of your own. The author has used those tools to show us two people struggling yet reaching out to each other. Brian has several issues that make it almost impossible for him to interact with people. Then he meets Abigail who has been in foster home after foster home. Now she lives with an aunt and uncle and must learn to trust and accept their love for her. She and Brian meet and click and through their interactions they each begin to find peace and healing. This story is told from Brian’s perspective. We watch him as he seeks help through a therapist and takes each painful step. There is so much here that I am sure every reader will find themselves relating to Brian. For those of us who have had to seek help for issues similar to this it is both healing and painful to read. I will definitely read more books by this author.
I received a copy to facilitate my review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

[Udita · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of a beautiful friendship and a careful clutch of people who make this possible. One of the nice things about this book is that all the secondary characters are very well thought-out. They’re each indispensible to the story. The Harrises, Brian’s colleague Roger, the principal of the school, Brian’s counsellor, and Abigail’s teachers. Each of the characters is heartwarming in their efforts to ensure that both flourish.
(from http://cupandchaucer.wordpress.com/20...)

[Nikky44 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the First novel I read where I could relate to each and everyone of the characters. I have been Abigail, I have been Brian and Sammy. I've been all of them and it feels so good to read my feelings and emotions described so well. This book gives me hope and strength. It's the voice of everyone dealing with abuse and anxiety, the voice of those who think they don't have one. Thank you Tanya!

[Bonnie Woodruff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this as an ARC in return for an honest review.
This is not my usual genre. I like to read romance, all types of romance. I must say that I was blown away by this story. I feel very connected with Brian and Abigail. I really feel the struggle and I can see the understanding. This is a very heart warming story. I would love to read more of their story.

[J.B (Debbie) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book! Review to follow soon!

[Fiona Ingram · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Life In a Nutshell by Tanya Peterson is a gem of a book. Brian Cunningham is a talented and clever man; in fact, he could have achieved anything in his life, but he has not. He is a prisoner of his mind, working as a school janitor and maintenance man, but taking intense pride in what he does. He fixes the school’s computers as well, so his talents have not gone entirely unnoticed. But Brian’s mental problems and anxieties are his downfall – he can’t get past the trauma in his head and, in a strange way, perhaps he doesn’t want to because that would mean engaging with the world. That would also mean disrupting his safe cocoon, the one he has created. People do try to reach out to him, but he blocks these efforts. It works until Abigail, a seven-year-old child with a troubled past and a tendency for screaming tantrums, comes into his life. Abigail latches onto Brian, perhaps seeing in him what others do not, and Brian finds himself acting as a reluctant guardian angel, a role he has no idea how to fulfil. But at least Abigail stops yelling when he asks her to… His new role is strange to him and one he certainly did not ask for. Where to from here for Brian, now that the barriers around him are crumbling?

Tanya Peterson has a gift for characterisation. Her characters drive the plot and they are intense and vivid, so vivid in fact that at times they could almost jump off the pages. Her depiction of Brian, the main character, is nothing short of masterly. Mental disorders – although far more widespread than one would imagine - are something people do not generally understand. It’s not as if the sufferer is displaying open wounds or a tangible medical condition. Mental wounds are harder to see. Brian’s condition and his transition through an excruciating journey out of his own self-obsession and self-awareness are drawn both painfully and expertly. The author is a mental health expert and it shows. She is unafraid to strip the skin off the character, leaving the raw flesh beneath to show readers exactly what it feels like to be in the grip of a mental condition. Somehow one becomes immersed in Brian’s daily routine, which has been the same for the last eighteen years. However boring it may appear to those of sound mind, Brian’s life is a war zone, created by the idiosyncrasies of his tortured mind. He images the worst at every turn; he imagines people are thinking the worst of him; he imagines … well, imagine the brief frisson of panic when one thinks one has left the front door unlocked and multiply it by a thousand times to create the mind-numbing, gut-wrenching full blown panic attacks that Brian experiences. A stream-of-consciousness technique, although difficult to pull off and one that could become too much for the reader, works brilliantly here because, once in the grip of Brian’s chaotic mental maelstrom, the reader cannot escape. One is in there with Brian, for better or for worse.

However, an important theme the author explores is the redemptive power of human contact, empathy, and compassion. Abigail’s situation and needs jerk Brian out of his self-imposed isolation and make him think about someone else. Her cry for help and her connection with him provide Brian with a feeling we all crave – one of self-worth. Therein lies his salvation. The minor characters, such as Brian’s mother (who is absolutely hilarious!), have histories, nuances and touches that bring them to life. There are many instances of humour to lighten what could be a disturbing and off-putting subject. This is not tragedy – this is life for many people afflicted with a mental disorder and the author’s accomplished and sensitive handling of this subject should encourage people to dig a little deeper. Not many of us have been there in the black pit, but we could be. This is a first class read, a deeply thought provoking book, and I highly recommend it. Five stars.

[Grady · Rating 5 out of 5]

`Let's start small. In a nutshell, describe your life to me.'

Tanya J Peterson comes to her writing gifts both as one who has experienced mental health issues with a bipolar I disorder and as an educator and a counselor who is Nationally Certified and has devoted her life to aiding homeless, runaway adolescents and patients with mental health malfunctions, both in one-on-one situations and as a speaker and mental health writer. Where she excels is in her ability to place on the written page the processes of thought disruption as viewed and spoken by the afflicted ones while at the same time offering insights into the techniques of mental health workers who assist their patients in returning to a life that once again is focused.

The above was excerpted from my review of Tanja's brilliant book LEAVE OF ABSENCE and while it remains true to the feeling of this novel, if anything Tanya has surpassed herself in creating MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Rarely has a writer been able to enter the psyche of her carefully observed and drawn characters in the manner that she displays in this stunning novel - the life of a 37 year old Brian with APD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) manifested by a consistently high level of anxiety. Brian is very intelligent and talented (he knows how to fix most things including computers) but prefers to avoid people and the accompanying challenge of verbal interactions. He works the evening shift as a school janitor where he encounters a seven year old Abigail whose personal demons are associated with the fact that she is the victim of frequent changes in living spaces - foster homes, the latest being the home of her childless aunt and uncle who do not understand children. How these two interact and `interlearn' is one of the cores of his novel, but for this reader the more important aspect is the manner in which Peterson writes the day to day, hour to hour, terrifying moment to moment life of Brian. Brian narrates the story and Peterson has so closely integrated the permutations of his bruised personality that we feel every aspect of his journey through a world with which he cannot connect.

Brian comes under the car of therapist Dr. Beth Greene whose guidance is impeccable, especially form the stance that she encourages Brian to start small in becoming comfortable with his life: "Let's start small. In a nutshell, describe your life to me.' `It seems that worry and fear are pretty normal for you.' `Generalized anxiety disorder is part of what you're experiencing, but other things are going on, too. Something associated with your anxiety is what's known as panic attacks.' And so goes the skilled writing of Peterson. Chapter 20 could easily be inserted into all textbooks dealing with therapy - it is a gem and so sensitively written.

Once again Peterson find the speech patterns and the responses to the outside world that define psychological dysfunction. As said in reviewing her other book, `Few writers have been able to express so sensitively the variations of thought processes that assault patients who are suffering from degrees mental illness. Peterson creates a solid novel here but she also opens doors of understanding so rarely provided for the general public.' This new work by Tanya J Peterson is yet another landmark in the ability to communicate how people with psychological disorders function and cautiously and perilously navigate through the world. This is a brilliant marriage of art and science. Highly Recommended.

[Lori L (She Treads Softly) · Rating 5 out of 5]

When a book about a man with anxiety disorders has you sobbing multiple times in just the first few pages, you know the author has managed to capture some essential truth of the human condition and the book is something special. My Life in a Nutshell by Tanya J. Peterson is very highly recommended; very emotional, but worth every tear.

Brian Cunningham is 37 years old and works as the night custodian and information technology specialist at Hayden Elementary School. After 18 years of working at the same job, with the same man as the head, day time custodian, Brian is able to handle this job and his panic attacks because his contact with other people is limited. Brian not only suffers from anxiety disorders, and panic attacks, but he recently lost his best friend, his dog Oscar, so he is in mourning. Brian is isolated and full of anxiety daily.

When 7 year old Abigail Harris, a new student to the school, is found hiding in the janitor's mechanical room, she latches onto Brian as someone she can trust after the initial fright both of them experienced. Abigail has multiple problems of her own. She has been abused and lived in multiple foster homes. She is suffering from attachment issues and disorders.

When her immediate attachment to Brian is discovered by the principal and her uncle and aunt, Brian ends up being charged as watching Abigal after school until her uncle or aunt can arrive to take her home. The assignment gives Brian even more anxiety, but he finds himself able to relate to Abigail better than many of the other adults around her and help her.

The help for Brian comes in the form of Abigail and Dr. Greene, a therapist who Brian's mom contacts and makes an appointment for him. Even though he only sees her a few times in the book, those visits help give the reader an extra insight into therapy and how Brian may be helped to cope with life a bit easier.

Peterson is a mental health professional with a background in public education, so she brings a skill set to this novel that is incredible. She manages to capture what Brian, the narrator, is thinking and feeling as he tries to get through each day. It is heart breaking. She allows Brian to tell us what he is thinking and feeling in such an empathetic but realistic way that you can't help but want the best for him; want him to receive some kind of help. She also provides the background information on the origin of Brian's anxiety. While she may not be a technically gifted story teller, she has brilliantly captured the inner thought process of Brian so completely that any quibbles about the plot fall away. This is a great book.

Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Inkwater Press for review purposes.

[Alexszollo]

Someone once said a good book is meant to make you laugh, cry and think. Now, if I were to judge the book that I am about to review from that point of view, I’d call it one of the greatest books I’ve ever read.

Which is something that I can say about it without these criteria as well. I’m talking about MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL, a beautiful, heartrending novel by Tanya J. Peterson.

The book tells the story of Brian Cunningham, a 37-year-old man working in the maintenance department of an elementary school, where he meets young Abigail, a 7-year-old little girl with serious attachment issues. Brian has a deep dark secret of his own: his crippling social anxiety. The novel essentially tells the story of how a beautiful friendship blooms between two broken souls.

The most amazing thing about this book is how vivid the characters are. I genuinely was under the impression that I’m inside the mind of a socially anxious man. The book is the type of read that grips one from the very beginning: “I’m an idiot. I must be the dumbest man on the planet […] What kind of an idiot forgets to take a sack lunch to work?” It’s amazing how up-close and personal the author gets with the character, it’s like she’s writing about a lifelong friend, and it feels heartbreaking, and yet inspiring to read about Brian’s struggle with making it through one day after another. His friendship with Abigail, another very endearing character, will test both their limits in a number of ways. This is a very powerful story, and Ms. Peterson writes not with the clinical dryness typical of mental health professionals, but with the emotionally engaging confidence of an accomplished novelist. I loved the overall message of the book, which, to me, is that it’s perfectly okay not to “fit in”, as long as you know you’re not alone. I loved the story of the tree that Brian told to little Abigail during their time together, and I cheered each of them on whenever they progressed. The backstory of Abigail, a child too young to witness the horrors of adulthood she’d been put through, will even soften hearts of stone.

If there’s one book that completely changed my perspective on mental conditions, and my outlook on the power of a great friendship, this book is it. It truly has the power to change lives. Whether you are struggling with social anxiety, or you’re a professional dealing with people who are, or you just want a healthy dose of inspiration and positivity, this extraordinary book is for you. A clear summer night’s sky full of stars for this gem of a book! Thank you, Ms. Peterson! Superb read! While I received a copy from the author in exchange for a review, the views expressed herein are entirely my views, and I’m proud to say so.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

At times I found this book difficult to read, and that’s not because it wasn’t written well; it was written beautifully, and the book made me really care for Brian and the struggles that he was having. I just found it hard – possibly even a little uncomfortable at times – to read all his thoughts, as this man has very low self-esteem and a huge anxiety problem. Having never experienced anything on this level, it really sort of opened my eyes to just how much of a struggle simple every day tasks can be for some. I think the book was a great way for someone like me to understand how certain people may feel.

To begin with, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of Brian, but as the story progresses you see more into his life and start to put together reasons behind his behaviour and struggles. When he meets Abigail he doesn’t know what to do, which of course is understandable as we discover that he hasn’t really had contact with children, even when a child himself. Abigail seems to have just two sides to her – she’s either super happy and giddy, or she’s having a tantrum and screaming. Unexpectedly, she decides that she like Brian, and despite his original concerns, he does manage to help her. In return, she definitely helps to bring Brian out a bit more. Their relationship was an interesting one to read, and one that I haven’t really come across in previous books. I really enjoyed this aspect because you see a whole different side to a friendly relationship when one is an adult and the other a child.

My favourite character actually was probably Hugh, and I’m not sure whether this makes me strange. Hugh just seemed to be someone who was good for Brian, as a male friend around the same age. Had the story carried on, I think we would have seen their relationship grow a lot more. I also really liked Roger as he was the definite ‘father figure’ for Brian. He didn’t really do that much in the story, but what he did do was give Brian the support that he needed to do his work and to talk to new people.

I finished the book late one night, sobbing into my pillows. I’ll let you read it and find out yourselves whether they were happy or sad tears!

[Howard Franklin · Rating 5 out of 5]

While American society has progressed in facing and accepting mental illness, unfortunately, it is still not as recognized and accepted as physical diseases are. That is why novelist Tanya J. Peterson's work is so important, and why I so heartily recommend her novel, My Life in a Nutshell. Peterson is not only a very talented writer, but having suffered from mental illness herself, she brings a thorough understanding of the subject to her work. While innumerable non-fiction books on the subject exist, and are helpful, what Peterson's novel does is bring the subject to life by entertaining the reader with a dramatic story featuring sensitively drawn characters that the reader can relate to. Thus, while being entertained, the reader also becomes educated with respect to mental illness. In my opinion, no other author does what Peterson does as well!

[Marjorie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Given To Me For An Honest Review


This book is an emotional, amusing and heart lifting one. It is a story of a gifted man and how in silence he lives his life despite his crippling anxiety and panic attacks. But there is a key for him that could help him to unlock this. It comes in the form of a small girl who lives in her own nightmare. But can the key fit so they both can live their lives free of their problems. This book is fantastic. It is one that you will read and not stop until the end. I give it 5 stars but wish i could give more. I highly recommend it to all.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Last May, I read and reviewed Tanya J. Peterson’s LEAVE OF ABSENCE and it became one of my favorite reads of 2013. When Peterson asked if I’d review MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL, I couldn’t say no because she has a talent for writing characters struggling with a mental illness and making the reader understand their inner turmoil.

We have good character development. Our main character is Brian Cunningham, a brilliant man who is a school janitor and suffers from anxiety. You’ll easily come to love him and your heart breaks when he’s put in certain situations he has no interest in. Then we have an adorable girl named Abigail Harris who unfortunately hasn’t had the best life. She suffers from abandonment issues and easily attaches to herself people and when she gets into trouble she has a habit of throwing tantrums and lying. We also have several secondary characters that are important including Sammi and Hugh, both teachers at the elementary school. The real treat is Roger, a fellow janitor and I just really liked how he was there for Brian!

Narrative is first person via Brian and it makes sense since this is his story. I really liked the use of first person narrative because it brings his suffering from anxiety front and center. You see yourself in the same situations Brian finds himself in and you can understand his reluctance to participate. I believe readers will easily associate with Brian and we can see parts of ourselves in him. Peterson does a great job letting us feel his uneasiness and you can’t help but want him to succeed. When it comes to seven year old Abigail, a part of me wanted to grab her and spank her a few times, but then we’re given parts of her history and you can’t help but feel sorry for her. Then reality hits, in real life some kid has experienced exactly what Abigail has gone through. I adored getting to know Abigail through Brian because he discovers aspects of himself he didn’t know he had.

What I liked about Peterson’s MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL are the emotions she allowed to me experience but also let me understand a little more about anxiety. My sister suffers from it and has been diagnosed with agoraphobia. At times I just want to tell her to snap out of it and it’s all in her head, but Peterson has given me a little more insight and know that there’s more to it. Like Brian, my sister keeps quiet about her illness because she knows not everyone will understand. In fact, right now she’s trying to get the Department Chair and professors at the University she currently attends to recognize her illness as a disability so she’ll have a little wiggle-room to finish assignments. Peterson shows us Brian’s reluctance at talking to people about his anxiety. I kept wanting him to open up and just say something, but came to realize it’s a process. That’s what I like about Peterson’s writing. She lets us see the situation at hand and we can understand the character better as the story progresses.

Just a quick note: there’s a bit of surprise at the end of MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL and while I was shipping a different couple, I was happy to see who gets the girl in the end! I won’t go into detail because it would be a spoiler, but when it all comes out, I did a little “yay” dance. I just hope Peterson gives us an epilogue or a novella that touches base on Brian and Abigail’s life since NUTSHELL’S ending.

If you’re looking to read a book where the author has taken the time to convey what she knows and what she’s treated, I highly recommend Tanaya J. Peterson’s MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Seriously, I commend Peterson for tackling a taboo subject.


This review and more are posted at Literary, etc.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was one of those chance findings when I was looking through the various selections offered at NetGalley. I don't know exactly what pulled me toward this book, but I was glad I ended up reading it. Maybe it was because I identified with the main character to a certain degree. Maybe it was because I wished to see someone triumph over adversity. Whatever the reason, I can say with certainty that I was definitely intrigued and couldn't wait to discover what awaited me between the book's cover.

Told through Brian's eyes and experiences, the author gave a voice to all the worrying and the character's anxious thought processes as he encountered various situations. From the very first chapter the high level of anxiety that Brian experienced on a daily basis was front and center. I could tell right away that he was painfully shy on top of all the other worries he admitted to within the first chapter. The bombardment of his thoughts could be off-putting for some readers. I can understand that as they were almost too much for me to continue reading because I could emphasize with Brian. So much so that I felt the anxiety and sadness roll off his character in waves. As the story continued and more characters were introduced, an increase in anxiety was evident and expected. For Brian the only reason to get up in the morning despite the exhaustive panic attacks he endured was a little girl who seemed more lost than he was.

The rest of the characters were well fleshed-out, giving a voice to different concerns and misconceptions as the story unraveled. In fact their behavior or dialogue affected the pace of the story. During some of Brian's panic attacks, the pace was fast and bordering on frantic. When other characters appeared with a calming presence, the pace slowed to allow time to breathe and process what happened. I could guess some of the events to be uncovered by the way Brian and his coworkers reacted, but I was also pleasantly surprised when a few didn't go the way I thought they would. My heart ached when pieces of Abigail's story came to light. She was the little girl who captured everyone's attention with her bright eyes, desire to fit in and the gut-wrenching history. Her small voice broke through defenses of many characters and brought needed change in all their lives. One character really annoyed me by her treatment of Brian despite the fact that she professed to do it out of love.

All in all, this book wasn't something I was looking for, but was one I needed to read. Anyone experiencing anxiety or other such disorders will be able to relate to what Brian's going through. In fact much of the book stayed with me long after I finished the final chapter. The whole journey felt overwhelming in the beginning. By the time I reached the end, I felt hope and happiness as some issues were completely resolved. Others needed more time, but I have no doubt they would be resolved as well. The author tapped into something that I think many people in today's world felt at one time or another. Even with technology connecting the world, people feel more alone and lost than ever before. If you're looking for a book with characters to root for or something that wraps its words around you and doesn't let go, this is a book you need to have on your list.

[AWBookGirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tanya J. Peterson’s novel Leave of Absence is one I read in 2013 and one that made my list of favorites last year.

Peterson’s newest novel, My Life In A Nutshell is equally compelling, telling the story of Brian and Abigail. Brian is brilliant, but suffers from severe, crippling anxiety that causes him to dread contact with others. Moved from foster home to foster home, seven year old Abigail comes to live with her aunt and uncle. Through her school, she meets Brian, and he becomes one of the few people she trusts. The book explores how Brian and Abigail, through their own difficulties, help each other.

This was a tough book to read. As someone who does not suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks, I couldn’t really appreciate what living with them might be like- and I realize that reading something in a book is not like experiencing it first hand. But the way Peterson writes Brian, I found myself tensing up, empathizing with his distress. When Brian was able to take a deeper breath, so was I. So when I say that this is a tough read, I mean it with the highest compliments-I think reading this has made me more sympathetic to what many people face daily.

Abigail has been passed from foster home to foster home, suffering physical and emotional abuse. Now she’s living with an aunt and uncle she barely knows. Something in Brian connects to Abigail, tethers them together. But even that is tenuous, as Abigail’s instinct is to protect herself, so that when the inevitable abandonment comes, just maybe it won’t hurt so bad, this time.

I think perhaps that it is their loneliness that is the common ground for Abigail and Brian- and perhaps some subconscious knowledge that although their challenges are different, the other may be the only one who can help them.

Peterson uses some everyday, common moments to illustrate perfectly how debilitating Brian’s illness is to him- deciding what to wear to a friend’s home for pizza takes a nearly superhuman effort from him. But it isn’t farcical. Peterson portrays Brian with compassion, making the reader want to be more compassionate, realizing there are lots of people whose stories we don’t know. That things we take for granted my be a hellacious undertaking for others.

This is another book I highly recommend- for a glimpse into a world we as readers may not fully understand, but also well-drawn characters with a story to tell.

- See more at: http://thebookfetishblog.com/2014/11/...

[Anne Mackle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Last year I reviewed Tanya's first novel Leave of Absence here and I have been waiting in anticipation for this second one.
I had a lazy day on Sunday and read this book in one sitting mainly because I couldn't put it down.
Brian has worked as a school caretaker for seventeen years, he starts work just as the school bell rings to mark the end of the day hoping he won't have to be in contact with many people.
I can't imagine how Brian has lived in the world for so long,a world that scares him to the point where he can't move from his bed. For seventeen years Brian has coped with his job but along comes seven year old Abigail who takes a liking to him and his world changes.
I loved Abigail, she was gutsy but vulnerable. She had had a life of never belonging and can't understand why her aunt and uncle want to keep her with them so she pushes them away. The school caretaker is the only one she trusts but a few people are suspicious of him and why he is around Abigail so much.
Through trying to help a little girl Brian comes in contact with two other teachers Sammi and Hugh. He can't understand why they like him and want to be friends as he sees himself as a horrible person who says all the wrong things and is too inadequate to live in a normal world.

I wanted to crawl into this book and hug Brian and Abigail. I wanted to tell Brian that he always says just the right thing at the right time,that he is a lovely man and people would be proud to have him as his friend.
I also wanted to give his mother a right good slap because she is the root of Brian's problems.
There is no great big plot in this story,there is no big secret or amazing revelation at the end. Instead what you get is a story of a broken man and a broken child, fate throws them together and something magical happens.
I've said too much about the story already and this is one I don't want to spoil for you. The pages of my book were wet with tears when I had finished and I had a lump in my throat that only a glass of wine would wash away.
I want to thank the author Tanya Peterson for sending me a copy of this book all the way from America. I really do prefer a real book in my hand and apart from its lovely atmospheric cover this book is very soft to touch and I can't stop running my hands over it. Book lovers will know what I mean.

[Erin Cataldi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to write about anxiety disorders and mental health in a novel and make it believable but Tanya J. Peterson has managed to do it... again. Her first novel, "Leave of Absence," dealt with the effects of grief and schizophrenia, "My Life in a Nutshell" deals with extreme anxiety. Peterson crafts together an emotional, gripping tale of severe debilitating anxiety that gets you so worked up and involved, that it's as if you are personally suffering through it. It's almost painful, but it's so eye opening and humbling to realize that thousands of people have to deal with these types of emotions daily and there isn't always a happy ending for them. People suffering from anxiety are seriously misunderstood lonely souls and Peterson deftly brings their plight to readers.

Brian is a lonely soul. His beloved pet dog has just died and he is now on his own. Getting out of bed and going to work was hard enough before, but now without his trusty companion the depression, anxiety, and panic attacks threaten to overtake Brian completely. Solitary by nature, Brian works the night shift as a custodian to a local school and avoids human interaction whenever possible. A trip to the store is enough to cause a panic attack, talking to people is downright painful for him. Brian is perpetually scared he will say the wrong thing, look stupid, or be socially awkward. As if things couldn't get worse for Brian, his mother has insisted he see a counselor and a troubled child at the school has taken to following Brian around. Perhaps, both of these new people in his life can help him address what is holding him back from having a happy fulfilled life?

Another great novel from award winning author, Tanya J. Peterson. She humanizes anxiety and makes it easier for readers to understand just how horrific it is by portraying the story through Brian's eyes and having the reader suffer through all the panic attacks and insecurity that he is dealing with. Truly eye opening and well deserving of the Kirkus star it received.

I received this book for free from the author in return for my honest, unbiased opinion.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted on The Canon! {http://canireadeverything.blogspot.co...}

I received this book in exchange for an honest review from the author. This in no way influenced my opinion or review. Promise!

Here's the thing about Peterson's work: her characters are key. Peterson isn't afraid to show the true side of human nature, to open doors that society has slammed closed, and examine what truly makes us tick.

I fell in love with her two main characters in My Life in a Nutshell. Brian, the narrator, shines through his narrative voice. There's a quiet struggle inside him, a war between his anxiety and his yearning to live his life that is simply fascinating. His tendency towards over-analyzing and struggling with what others think of him struck a chord in me: he and I are alike in that.

There's a magic in the friendship between Brian and Abigail, a magic so simple and pure that makes it one of the highlights of My Life. They find a kinship in each other, two people searching for a place, whether it be physically or mentally, to call home. Their story was one of the reasons I kept turning back to this book.

Peterson's approach to therapy and the social stigma attached to it was right on the mark for me. I loved the warm therapist who gently pushes Brian beyond the realms of his anxiety. Therapy isn't portrayed as scary or negative; even the therapist is in therapy. I loved how Peterson knocks down that social roadblock.

The narration itself, told from Brian's first person POV, can be a little thick. I loved the opportunity to learn his character, but I appreciated the scenes with dialogue with Abigail or other characters, giving me the opportunity to see his full character.

In the end, Peterson strikes gold again with My Life in a Nutshell. For those who loved Leave of Absence, she brings the same depth of character and plot that we fell in love with. I loved My Life in a Nutshell and I can't wait to see what she does next.

[Kevin Orth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superbly written. The narrative character is precisely and deliberately caricaturistic. If you do not have generalized anxiety and want to see what it is like, read this book. If you have generalized anxiety, be prepared to see yourself in all too clear of a light. This is wonderfully, difficult to read. it is entirely obvious the author has had deep and profound experience with generalized anxiety and the 'killer' thoughts that come along with it. The narrator is the main character and we along for the ride as he berates himself, is terrified of social interaction, craves isolation, and all the other characteristics that come along with living with generalized anxiety.

Wonderful story about how these two 'misfits' fall apart, comes together, and find contentment within themselves and their loved ones.

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book from the goodreads giveaway from the publisher inkwater-press. I won it on July 28th and received it that next week. I was very interested in this book that after I read the description and was immediately drawn to it because of one of the main characters suffering from extreme anxiety. I too suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. I was thankful when I won the book. At first I had trouble getting into it, however when I started Chapter 4 I was hooked. There were so many things I could relate to with the main character sometimes a little too much and that could be hard to read in some cases, however later in the book I was really given a surprise when I realized I had something very important in common with the main characters mother. I do not want to put any spoilers so you will just need to read the book to find out what I am referring to.

If you suffer from anxiety, panic attacks and social phobias you are not alone and may share similar complications with the main character. If you are looking for something to give you or show you "hope" and/or a light at the end of the tunnel, this book is for you. If you know of someone or have a family member that suffers from these things I highly recommend reading this book by Tanya J. Peterson as it will give you an example of the struggles going on inside the head of your friend, family member, co-worker, or even a stranger who suffers with this disorder.

[Bernadette Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and the Publishers for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

Brian Cunningham was an anxious man and at times he came across as socially inept in lots of situations. He was a loner and struggled dealing with others. Abigail Harris is a young child, who has been passed from one foster home to another during her short life. Abigail moves to the town that Brian lives in, to live with an Aunt and Uncle that she has never met before.

As Brian and Abigail's paths cross, Abigail strikes up an unlikely friendship with Brian. As their friendship progresses others wonder at the nature of the friendship between them. It's often hard in today's society for adult men to form friendships with minors without people judging them, expecting there to be hidden agendas behind the friendships.

Can Abigail help Brian become less anxious and overcome his inability to deal with others?

I really enjoyed the writing style of the Author and her knowledge of pyschological problems due to her career are evident in this story. I loved the friendship between Brian and Abigail, she was the breath of fresh air that he needed to help him realise that he was able to cope with normal life. I felt that a lot of Brian's problems where down to his over protective Mother to be honest.

[Shirley · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Life in a Nutshell is the story of two unlikely friends. Brian, a 37 year old custodian at a local school who suffers for anxiety and 7 year old Abigail, a foster child with abandonment issues. Somewhere along the way she has suffered abuse as well. In Brian she discovers someone she can finally trust and its mutual. Their platonic friendship brings out the best in each other and together they find ways to find a world that is safe.

Ms. Peterson uses her vast knowledge, education and experience to put a personal touch on mental illness. Fiction is the avenue she does it with because she "believes that fiction is a powerful vehicle for teaching fact. Further, she knows that people empathize with characters in novels, and commonly they transfer their empathy to real-life human beings." Peterson has definitely hit on something there as you may recall movies such as As Good As It Gets and What About Bob, both of which address anxiety and mental illness; movies which have put a face to the illness and in doing so have enlightened the public, helping to change the perceptions one might have and helping to erase the stigmatization thereof. Peterson achieves that very thing with her novels.

[Carmen Blankenship · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, Wow, Wow. My Life in a Nutshell is one of those books that makes you feel like you were whisked away into someone else’s life only to return to your own when the final page has been read. Once you have finished it you take some time and ponder it and then you realize you have just read one of the books you have read in a very long time. Tanya J Peterson is ridiculously talented as a writing and at verbalizing human emotion and pain.

This story is about a man who struggles intensely with anxiety, as so many do. My Life In a Nutshell is the most accurate portrayal of the day to day struggles of someone who is suffering from this crippling diagnosis so often undiagnosed.

But do not be misled. This story will not leave you feeling depressed. It is uplifting and raw. It is everything that a good book is made of. I cannot praise it enough. What I can do is tell you to read it. Please. Stop reading my reviews and go read this book!

A huge thank you Netgalley and BookBuzz net for the copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a child Brian was extremely sheltered by his mother to the point of it being unhealthy. So it's no surprise that as an adult Brain has isolated himself from the world - he is full of anxiety and avoids people as much as he can. He's constantly putting himself down and finding reasons why no one could ever like him.

His world is turned upside down when he finds seven-year-old Abigail hiding in the mechanical room at the school he works at as a night custodian. He notices scars on Abigail and knows she's been through more than she should at her age. Brian wants to help but doesn't feel as though he should because he doesn't want to ruin her life. But after that day Abigail becomes attached to Brian and views him as someone she can trust and eventually she helps break down the walls he has built and in turn he has helped Abigail with her abandonment issues.

I've struggled with social anxiety most of my life. It was weird reading Brian's thoughts and feelings because they're so much like my own. A very well-written page-turner.

[Marlaina McCauslin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book for my review through Goodreads giveaway. I also read this book for the readathon-day 2015. I thought a long time about this book, whether I hated it, liked it, or loved it. There were a lot of times when I felt all three. However at the end of the day of readathon, i finished and came to the conclusion that I honestly didn't care for this book. After having a panic attack myself through the first 5 chapters like the main character, after that I felt his inner dialogue was annoying and repetitive. The little girl was extremely overplayed with the main character, since in the book it mentions that she never gets close to anybody, but look! the main character gets close to her. It was easy to see that the mother was the main problem to his stress. I dont' know, I felt like it was too repetitive and very obvious to the reader. That just my opinion. Good luck to Ms. Tanya with her release.

[Pauline Barclay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heart-rending, emotional, amusing and heart lifting. This is a beautiful story on how, in silence, a wonderfully gifted man lives his life despite crippling anxiety and panic attacks. There is a key that could help him unlock his mental turmoil. This key comes in the form of a seven year old girl who lives in her own nightmare, but does the key fit and if so can the lock be turned to help both of them? My Life in a Nutshell is truly beautiful. I could not put it down and although I know the time it takes to write such a breath taking page turning book, I cannot wait for more from this amazing author. I have given this 5 stars because that it the maximum on offer, but I would give it 10 if that was possible.

[Renee Dussault Howell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive a copy of this book from NetGalley.

Brian is a man who has suffered from anxiety most of his life and has problems interacting with people. Along comes a troubled little girl, Abigail, who attaches herself to Brian. Together, they learn to overcome obstacles and heal.

It has been a long time since I've read a book that made me feel the pain that the characters are feeling. This book brings so much awareness to mental health issues and the various struggles that a person may have. It addresses the difficulties a child may encounter.