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Dirty Pretty Things
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Poetry (2015)Dirty Pretty Things is the much anticipated book by Michael Faudet. His whimsical and often erotic writing has already captured the hearts and minds of literally thousands of readers from around the world. He paints vivid pictures with intricate words and explores the compelling themes of love, loss, relationships and sex. All beautifully captured in poetry, prose, quotes and little short stories.
274 pages, Paperback
First published November 18, 2014
612 people are currently reading
21575 people want to read
About the author
Michael Faudet
8 books1,607 followersMichael Faudet is the author of the international bestsellers Dirty Pretty Things, Bitter Sweet Love, Smoke & Mirrors, Winter of Summers, Cult of Two, and Playing with Matches. His books have been nominated in the Goodreads Choice Awards for Best Poetry.
Dirty Pretty Things was also selected by Sylvia Whitman, the owner of the iconic Shakespeare and Company bookstore in Paris, as one of her personal favorite books of 2016.
He frequently explores the intricacies of love, loss, relationships, and sex in poetry, prose, and short stories. His lyrical and often sensual writing continues to attract readers from all around the world.
Before turning his hand to writing books, Michael enjoyed a successful career in advertising as an award-winning executive creative director. He managed creative departments and developed advertising campaigns for major brands in many countries.
Michael is represented by the literary agency Writers House, New York. He currently lives in New Zealand in a little house by the sea with partner and author Lang Leav.
Dirty Pretty Things was also selected by Sylvia Whitman, the owner of the iconic Shakespeare and Company bookstore in Paris, as one of her personal favorite books of 2016.
He frequently explores the intricacies of love, loss, relationships, and sex in poetry, prose, and short stories. His lyrical and often sensual writing continues to attract readers from all around the world.
Before turning his hand to writing books, Michael enjoyed a successful career in advertising as an award-winning executive creative director. He managed creative departments and developed advertising campaigns for major brands in many countries.
Michael is represented by the literary agency Writers House, New York. He currently lives in New Zealand in a little house by the sea with partner and author Lang Leav.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,137 reviews
April 4, 2015
This book is so poorly written. I understand these are supposed to be erotic poems but the words "panties", "fuck", and "skirt" can only get you so far. Some poems are just plain ridiculous and sound like they were written by a teenage boy. I maybe found 1 or 2 poems in the whole book that were worth taking a second look at.
"Naked guilt,
a punishment dealt;
over a wooden table
where a jam donut
is noticeably absent."
Um.. what???
"Naked guilt,
a punishment dealt;
over a wooden table
where a jam donut
is noticeably absent."
Um.. what???
June 24, 2016
this is what michael faudet calls "poetry":
Lust
Lust is a lovely word and makes love
so much more interesting.
a thousand dead trees are crying out for justice.
Lust
Lust is a lovely word and makes love
so much more interesting.
a thousand dead trees are crying out for justice.
January 27, 2015
This guy really has a thing for white cotton panties and kneesocks. Poetry for the tumblr crowd. In a word, sophomoric.
August 29, 2016
I don't want to be mean, but this was really bad. I don't know why it's so highly rated. It's not good poetry. It's full of cliches and
summer suns
and
words;
like this.
There may be one
or two
good poems
but the rest are wonderfully dull;
like this.
Okay, jokes aside—I know there's an audience for this book, made clear by the incredibly high ratings. I just didn't feel a thing while reading this, and wouldn't recommend it.
Also—
Come on! What is that!
summer suns
and
words;
like this.
There may be one
or two
good poems
but the rest are wonderfully dull;
like this.
The kind of poetry books I write are the ones
you read in agony, stretched out over the sheets
with one hand on your forehead;
in face-palm.
- Michael Faudet (Note: Not really M.F.)
Okay, jokes aside—I know there's an audience for this book, made clear by the incredibly high ratings. I just didn't feel a thing while reading this, and wouldn't recommend it.
Also—
"It wasn't until I was fully awake that I truly woke up."
Come on! What is that!
July 13, 2018
It's a no from me.
March 31, 2016
An amazing erotic read! Mr. Faudet writes beautifully. I look forward to more!
TWISTED TREES
A fearsome wind
cannot compel
the weakest branch
to gladly yield.
Yet,
the faintest breath
upon your lips -
and I have fallen
against my will.
THE KISS
Crashing waves on an empty beach,
the rhythm of our hearts,
two drowning lovers lost at sea,
my lips adrift in yours.
TWISTED TREES
A fearsome wind
cannot compel
the weakest branch
to gladly yield.
Yet,
the faintest breath
upon your lips -
and I have fallen
against my will.
THE KISS
Crashing waves on an empty beach,
the rhythm of our hearts,
two drowning lovers lost at sea,
my lips adrift in yours.
February 22, 2015
Trying way too hard.
Pass.
Pass.
October 3, 2016
DNF at page 173/290
Only if you press
Enter enough
your words
will look
like poetry.
This is where literature came to die, this wasn't fun to read, I think there are only two poems that I liked, and the prose is just
A W F U L ...
Don't waste your time, and I quote "Please don't, seriously, I beg..."
Only if you press
Enter enough
your words
will look
like poetry.
This is where literature came to die, this wasn't fun to read, I think there are only two poems that I liked, and the prose is just
A W F U L ...
Don't waste your time, and I quote "Please don't, seriously, I beg..."
September 11, 2017
Awfully written. Most of the poems generic rundown sentences. I don't mind reading erotic poems but the eroticism in this collection was forced and unromantic. I can't help cringing to some of it. Sadly, I didn't enjoy this collection and I don't recommend it.
September 30, 2017
I think because of milk & honey i'm preconditioned to assume that all poetry will be free verse and simplistic (a style I don't like), so I ended up being pleased with this!
It's actually a collection of short quotes, poems, & super short stories. the theme revolves around love and relationships and--inevitably, because the title has the word "dirty" in it--some pretty raunchy sex. I #cantrelate to any of that good stuff, but I did think that a lot of these passages were clever and thought-provoking. Many poems had a rhyme scheme, which is a pleasant surprise in modern poetry because, as mentioned, I pretty much have learned to expect free verse poems that read like sentences.
But yes. This is well done, even though maybe 40% of them are inappropriate things I can't relate to, but I still want a copy for my shelf that I can underline and highlight.
It's actually a collection of short quotes, poems, & super short stories. the theme revolves around love and relationships and--inevitably, because the title has the word "dirty" in it--some pretty raunchy sex. I #cantrelate to any of that good stuff, but I did think that a lot of these passages were clever and thought-provoking. Many poems had a rhyme scheme, which is a pleasant surprise in modern poetry because, as mentioned, I pretty much have learned to expect free verse poems that read like sentences.
But yes. This is well done, even though maybe 40% of them are inappropriate things I can't relate to, but I still want a copy for my shelf that I can underline and highlight.
July 30, 2022
What can I say about Michael Faudet's DIRTY PRETTY THINGS that hasn't already been said?
Yes, it's full of horrible writing. It reads like your filthy younger brother wrote it in a greasy notebook and kept it stuffed between his mattresses for ten years before it accidentally fell into a printing press.
It's also disgustingly romantic and sexy in places and I admit that as shamelessly as Faudet writes these monstrosities.
(Yes, monSTROSities. I mean, could he please stop printing exclusively on the right pages and stop wasting all this paper?)
But there's also this: he's easy to understand and inspiring. People who need to feel like poetry (love itself?) is within reach, either to read or to write, will experience that accessibility when they read Faudet's poetry.
That beauty, that treasure is worth something. Exactly three stars, to begin with.
Rating 3 stars
2nd Reading, Finished May 2022
Recommended for fans of contemporary romantic poetry, Lang Leav, Atticus
Yes, it's full of horrible writing. It reads like your filthy younger brother wrote it in a greasy notebook and kept it stuffed between his mattresses for ten years before it accidentally fell into a printing press.
It's also disgustingly romantic and sexy in places and I admit that as shamelessly as Faudet writes these monstrosities.
(Yes, monSTROSities. I mean, could he please stop printing exclusively on the right pages and stop wasting all this paper?)
But there's also this: he's easy to understand and inspiring. People who need to feel like poetry (love itself?) is within reach, either to read or to write, will experience that accessibility when they read Faudet's poetry.
That beauty, that treasure is worth something. Exactly three stars, to begin with.
Rating 3 stars
2nd Reading, Finished May 2022
Recommended for fans of contemporary romantic poetry, Lang Leav, Atticus
February 13, 2015
I was so excited about this book based on the reviews and description and I was incredibly disappointed by the reality.
So sophomoric.
Bad poetry is an abomination and the rhymes in this are uninventive to say the least. No wonder no bookstores stock it on their shelves.
And the one-liners? The prose? Don't waste your time.
So sophomoric.
Bad poetry is an abomination and the rhymes in this are uninventive to say the least. No wonder no bookstores stock it on their shelves.
And the one-liners? The prose? Don't waste your time.
February 9, 2016
Oh, God no.
October 3, 2016
Nope. Can't finish this. DNF at 17%. I'm all for literary smut, but I want my poetry to be teasing and my erotica to be sultry, not in-your-face crass. I don't want to feel like a voyeur or 3rd wheel into Leav and Faudet's relationship (or whatever is going on there). Reading this was like sitting on a couch while your friends have sex next to you and occasionally you get a foot to the head. I just don't need the mental images.
March 17, 2018
I was really curious about what's the hype about this poetry book. It's price around USD 12-13 when I saw it in our local bookstore so I thought that maybe it is really worth the price. But to my great dismay, the hype and the price doesn't equate to the quality of the poems in this collection. The author wants to convey the passion of love and lovemaking, but really the poems are just mediocre.
I also purchased Faudet's 2nd book of Bitter Sweet Love. And despite the average rating of the said book here in Goodreads, I'm still giving it a chance to amuse me.
I also purchased Faudet's 2nd book of Bitter Sweet Love. And despite the average rating of the said book here in Goodreads, I'm still giving it a chance to amuse me.
May 24, 2016
I have seen Dirty Pretty Things floating around Tumblr for quite some time, and Faudet's work intrigued me. Lang Leav wrote the introduction for this, and ironically (because I'm not a huge fan of Leav's work either,) it was the only thing I liked.
I don't really know how I feel about these... Contemporary hipster(?) poets. I definitely have a love/hate relationship going on with them, that's for sure.
On one hand, some of them write pieces of poetry that haunt/resonate with me. That put to words experiences that I, unfortunately, am not eloquent enough to string into a sequence of sentences that will make people feel. On the other hand, some just just arrange words together in an attempts to sound... Deep? Relatable? But it only come out as a descriptive sentence. Something that you read and go..."what?" "where's the rest of this?" and not in the good way.
Faudet, at least to me, was sadly the latter. I'll leave you with these two examples of 'poetry' he wrote:
CAKE
sex is the cake and love the icing on top
and,
AIRPLANES
she rode on airplanes and fell asleep in hotel beds. dreaming of faraway
places -- writing poetry with her sunset eyes.
I don't really know how I feel about these... Contemporary hipster(?) poets. I definitely have a love/hate relationship going on with them, that's for sure.
On one hand, some of them write pieces of poetry that haunt/resonate with me. That put to words experiences that I, unfortunately, am not eloquent enough to string into a sequence of sentences that will make people feel. On the other hand, some just just arrange words together in an attempts to sound... Deep? Relatable? But it only come out as a descriptive sentence. Something that you read and go..."what?" "where's the rest of this?" and not in the good way.
Faudet, at least to me, was sadly the latter. I'll leave you with these two examples of 'poetry' he wrote:
CAKE
sex is the cake and love the icing on top
and,
AIRPLANES
she rode on airplanes and fell asleep in hotel beds. dreaming of faraway
places -- writing poetry with her sunset eyes.
December 17, 2022
someone put this man on too hot to handle. this was awfully painful I take back everything bad I said about Rupi
August 31, 2016
maybe because ive read much more obscene things than this, so i dont feel this book to be erotic at all. It's mediocre, at best.
and faudet's poems mirror lang leav's a lot, to one point I thought this is written by leav herself.
and faudet's poems mirror lang leav's a lot, to one point I thought this is written by leav herself.
June 13, 2020
The Conversation
Let’s continue this conversation in bed, she whispered.
My legs can’t wait to hear what your hands have to say.
Let’s continue this conversation in bed, she whispered.
My legs can’t wait to hear what your hands have to say.
March 18, 2016
some good writing but not enough. more avg content and more bad. very quick read. took me maybe 30 minutes. left side pages were blank unless the piece was longer than a page. lot of 1-2 liners which were the only words on the page. poor trees. content is something like 96.7% love and sex, which is fine, just making that clear. don't expect much else.
December 13, 2014
I haven't read a lot of erotica so perhaps avid readers of the genre might find this review too generous. But this man has the ability to make me blush and yet, proudly read his work in public – in a society that shuns such public explorations.
If I write more, I'm afraid I'll simply gush. :)
If I write more, I'm afraid I'll simply gush. :)
June 1, 2018
favourites: Lost Words, Lips, Airplanes, Twisted Trees, Roses, Echo, Teach Me, The Mermaid, Forbidden Love, Strawberries, Stars 🍓
August 9, 2020
i don't rate poetry usually, but im giving this one star because i want it to contribute to lowering the goodreads average. and i need the people who see this on twitter to know i didn't like it.
i need to make a shelf that's poetry-gross. because honestly thats where this needs to go.
here's the thing. there's nothing wrong with consensual adult sex or erotic writing or porn or whatever. but like this just isn't well written in any way. the language is mediocre at best and the content is cringy and low key misogynistic.
a lot of the imagery is very "innocence defiled". and let me just say, when women shirk the idea of sexual purity, the context is often empowerment and the reality of sex. a lot of us have and enjoy having sex and there's nothing impure about it.
however-
when it appears in this context, this guy's perception and depiction of sex with women. the idea of losing purity in innocence appears as something he is doing and is proud of. it's not about the women's agency, or the idea that innocence and purity is a concept designed to shame women. there are several poems in here about how the women "knows its wrong" she wants him to fuck her so badly. which is like hey, if she said that then she said that but because these are his words it doesn't read as anything other than his fantasy of taking the purity away from this "innocent" partner.
there's not a lot of literary devices used in this book, however, there's some imagery, none of it interesting, but there's a lot of butterflies, cotton candy, and white cotton. all things evocative of innocence and naivety that then get referenced to sex. which is fine in theory, but it rubbed me the wrong way. it always does when sex is written about without the respect.
and you can write about fucking someone hard on a table and still pepper in some respect for them. fanfiction authors do it every damn day. i've read good "erotic writing" this ain't it.
anyway, this was just uncomfortable and uninteresting. and not erotic. if it was erotic, would it make me want to wish i had never heard of sex? i dont think so.
hard pass on this one. hard like this man's cock he likes to write so much about.
i need to make a shelf that's poetry-gross. because honestly thats where this needs to go.
here's the thing. there's nothing wrong with consensual adult sex or erotic writing or porn or whatever. but like this just isn't well written in any way. the language is mediocre at best and the content is cringy and low key misogynistic.
a lot of the imagery is very "innocence defiled". and let me just say, when women shirk the idea of sexual purity, the context is often empowerment and the reality of sex. a lot of us have and enjoy having sex and there's nothing impure about it.
however-
when it appears in this context, this guy's perception and depiction of sex with women. the idea of losing purity in innocence appears as something he is doing and is proud of. it's not about the women's agency, or the idea that innocence and purity is a concept designed to shame women. there are several poems in here about how the women "knows its wrong" she wants him to fuck her so badly. which is like hey, if she said that then she said that but because these are his words it doesn't read as anything other than his fantasy of taking the purity away from this "innocent" partner.
there's not a lot of literary devices used in this book, however, there's some imagery, none of it interesting, but there's a lot of butterflies, cotton candy, and white cotton. all things evocative of innocence and naivety that then get referenced to sex. which is fine in theory, but it rubbed me the wrong way. it always does when sex is written about without the respect.
and you can write about fucking someone hard on a table and still pepper in some respect for them. fanfiction authors do it every damn day. i've read good "erotic writing" this ain't it.
anyway, this was just uncomfortable and uninteresting. and not erotic. if it was erotic, would it make me want to wish i had never heard of sex? i dont think so.
hard pass on this one. hard like this man's cock he likes to write so much about.
January 4, 2018
I'm half way through the book, and as good as it is, I don't think Michael Faudet is real. No two people can write like each other exactly. Writing is like fingerprint, no two talents are alike.
I seriously never gave much thought to Lang Leav's personal life; through Twitter I learned that she is in a relationship with another author. When I bought "his" books I thought their style was so similar, but now that I'm almost done with the book, there just can't be a Michael. Lang's book are romantic, but after reading Sad Girls, I know she can be sexual as well. If any person can write like another (soul mate or not) people would have written a convincing Jane Austen retelling/sequel by now, or continued with Gone with the Wind. I even googled him and was surprised that many people shared my opinion, this is just sad or one hell of pseudonym.
As for the writing, it was erotic, sad and filled with weird stories about exs and whores. I found many pieces I liked, a few I didn't care for, but all in all, it's a good book.
I seriously never gave much thought to Lang Leav's personal life; through Twitter I learned that she is in a relationship with another author. When I bought "his" books I thought their style was so similar, but now that I'm almost done with the book, there just can't be a Michael. Lang's book are romantic, but after reading Sad Girls, I know she can be sexual as well. If any person can write like another (soul mate or not) people would have written a convincing Jane Austen retelling/sequel by now, or continued with Gone with the Wind. I even googled him and was surprised that many people shared my opinion, this is just sad or one hell of pseudonym.
As for the writing, it was erotic, sad and filled with weird stories about exs and whores. I found many pieces I liked, a few I didn't care for, but all in all, it's a good book.
January 8, 2019
Reading poems should be a worthwhile and self-learning experience but Faudet's poetry collection was neither. It was too direct; pages and pages of trying to be sexy, erotic, and seductive only to come out as nothing; a try-hard. This poetry collection does not make the reader think, ponder on anything, and it fools them into thinking they should get wrapped up with the empty imagery and eye-rolling, repetitive obsession under the influence of must-have-been-repressed-too-long teenage hormones. A banal collection of (mostly) random, laughable passages without cadence.
Excerpt #1
“She was a curious girl who loved the smell of old books, chasing butterflies and touching herself under the covers.”
--So?
Excerpt #2
"'Unbutton, unzip, unclip, untie, undo, undress.'
'Understood', she replied"
--It's mostly filled with lines like these.
Excerpt #3
"Red heels
on a pavement,
punctuated
by long legs
striding
toward me.
Your lips
a full stop
on mine."
--Well, ok...?
It's dirty but not really pretty and not even unpretty in a lyrical, thought-provoking, awakening way. A title more apt: Dreadful and Perverse Things.
Excerpt #1
“She was a curious girl who loved the smell of old books, chasing butterflies and touching herself under the covers.”
--So?
Excerpt #2
"'Unbutton, unzip, unclip, untie, undo, undress.'
'Understood', she replied"
--It's mostly filled with lines like these.
Excerpt #3
"Red heels
on a pavement,
punctuated
by long legs
striding
toward me.
Your lips
a full stop
on mine."
--Well, ok...?
It's dirty but not really pretty and not even unpretty in a lyrical, thought-provoking, awakening way. A title more apt: Dreadful and Perverse Things.
October 20, 2020
I'm not a huge fan of poetry that rhymes. Very love, sex, and emotion-driven. I'd say my one complaint is that some of it came across as repetitive and young. I also think there are lots of ways to describe panties without using "white" and "cotton" over and over again. The prose was better.
January 7, 2017
This is one of the cringiest books I've ever read. I really don't know what's up with "poetry" nowadays... ugh.
December 29, 2017
Definitely one of my least favourite poetry books, but still had some great poems.
April 18, 2021
DNF @ PG 53
Technically this is a dnf but I'm just going to rate it anyway because it was not good whatsoever. I bought this at a thrift store and I only read the first poem called "the rose." I thought it was good and decided to buy it, turns out that's someone else's work and this is just not my cup of tea whatsoever. This just reads like poems on Tumblr, and not even good ones at that. It was so cliche and I had no clue this book was going to be explicit. Anyways, I do not reccomend.
instagram | goodreads
Technically this is a dnf but I'm just going to rate it anyway because it was not good whatsoever. I bought this at a thrift store and I only read the first poem called "the rose." I thought it was good and decided to buy it, turns out that's someone else's work and this is just not my cup of tea whatsoever. This just reads like poems on Tumblr, and not even good ones at that. It was so cliche and I had no clue this book was going to be explicit. Anyways, I do not reccomend.
instagram | goodreads
August 20, 2018
I loved Smoke & Mirrors by Michael Faudet I gave it a 4 starts rating and I decided based on that collection of poetry, prose and short stories to give his other works a try so I picked dirty pretty things. I wish I never bothered to do so because this book was a combination of disappointment and regret.
This book, like Smoke & Mirrors, explored love but mostly the erotic side of it failing miserably to draw me in or hold my attention or awaken my affection. It was bland, repetitive and quite frankly unoriginal. I personally think this collection was a failure when it comes to making a lasting impression on me. I did not even enjoy myself and I struggled through it till the end even though this book was a short one.
I always think that writing erotica needs finesse and huge amount of awareness so it won’t come out as trashy or cringe worthy but unfortunately that’s what I exactly felt towards some poems. I mean I’d wish I can bleach my mind so I won’t remember any of it at all. Not to mention that I strongly felt like the author has a limited amount of words and he’s trying to use the every way possible. It gets tiring with time and I was yearning for something different and new but all I get was a collection of poetry that was repeating itself and not in the most graceful way possible.
It’s shame because once in a while I glimpsed a potential of a very beautiful and convincing writing but every time I let myself dare that the collection is getting better, the next poem will snuff out that possibility and terminate any other hope I had left.
Some other poems had the potential to be something more haunting and tragic but they were so short I felt dissatisfied by that. The moment you start grasping at the feelings understanding the pain behind the words, the poem ends and all you’re left with is the belief that this work will always be unfinished fading to black and oblivion the moment you move on.
Indeed I am
This book, like Smoke & Mirrors, explored love but mostly the erotic side of it failing miserably to draw me in or hold my attention or awaken my affection. It was bland, repetitive and quite frankly unoriginal. I personally think this collection was a failure when it comes to making a lasting impression on me. I did not even enjoy myself and I struggled through it till the end even though this book was a short one.
Words are powerful things. They can break
hearts and make panties wet.
I always think that writing erotica needs finesse and huge amount of awareness so it won’t come out as trashy or cringe worthy but unfortunately that’s what I exactly felt towards some poems. I mean I’d wish I can bleach my mind so I won’t remember any of it at all. Not to mention that I strongly felt like the author has a limited amount of words and he’s trying to use the every way possible. It gets tiring with time and I was yearning for something different and new but all I get was a collection of poetry that was repeating itself and not in the most graceful way possible.
Every time you take a sip,
your lips wet with wine,
I wish I was that glass.
It’s shame because once in a while I glimpsed a potential of a very beautiful and convincing writing but every time I let myself dare that the collection is getting better, the next poem will snuff out that possibility and terminate any other hope I had left.
A midnight scribble,
a morning sigh,
you watch the words,
curl up and die.
Madness lives
inside your head,
of poems lost,
and pages dead.
A mind possessed,
by unmade books,
unwritten lines
on empty hooks.
Some other poems had the potential to be something more haunting and tragic but they were so short I felt dissatisfied by that. The moment you start grasping at the feelings understanding the pain behind the words, the poem ends and all you’re left with is the belief that this work will always be unfinished fading to black and oblivion the moment you move on.
I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo
from another time, another place.
Indeed I am
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,137 reviews