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In a Fairy Tale World... #4
Engaged to the Sheik
Dearest Godmother,
I'm almost at my matchmaking goal Of course, I should have known better than to match an expert heartbreaker like Selina Carrington with a sheik of legendary charm. The sassy exec's one sorrow too many has hardened her to love–and the sensual flirtations of Kamar ibn Asad.
But I know this charismatic desert lord is just what she needs, so I've arranged a pretend engagement followed by an accidental marriage. Kamar's soulful eyes and moonlit walks haven't melted Selina's single–girl heart, but maybe a husband's whispered promises can.
In A Fairy–Tale World
I'm almost at my matchmaking goal Of course, I should have known better than to match an expert heartbreaker like Selina Carrington with a sheik of legendary charm. The sassy exec's one sorrow too many has hardened her to love–and the sensual flirtations of Kamar ibn Asad.
But I know this charismatic desert lord is just what she needs, so I've arranged a pretend engagement followed by an accidental marriage. Kamar's soulful eyes and moonlit walks haven't melted Selina's single–girl heart, but maybe a husband's whispered promises can.
In A Fairy–Tale World
192 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
3 people are currently reading
28 people want to read
About the author
Sue Swift
42 books16 followersAn American, Sue Swift has visited over a dozen countries and lived in some of them. She has written over a dozen books; some have been translated into over a dozen languages. Not surprisingly she is often confused by her incessant multi-tasking.
To make matters more chaotic, she writes erotic romance as Suz deMello and works as a freelance editor.
Her hobbies are yoga and world travel. After a stint teaching English to toddlers in China, she's back in NoCal writing and editing. She blogs about her experiences at http://www.susanoverseas.weebly.com and http://www.fearlessfastpacedfiction.com
To make matters more chaotic, she writes erotic romance as Suz deMello and works as a freelance editor.
Her hobbies are yoga and world travel. After a stint teaching English to toddlers in China, she's back in NoCal writing and editing. She blogs about her experiences at http://www.susanoverseas.weebly.com and http://www.fearlessfastpacedfiction.com
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June 13, 2016
I should know better than to pick up a book with 'sheik' in the title, they always are horrible.
This is an alleged retelling of 'Robe of Feathers.'
Merry is hooking up her last few couples on her quest to 21 couples by age 30, otherwise she's cursed to remain a crone forever.
Selina meets Kamar, a George Clooney lookalike, when he first has a loud cell phone conversation in Arabic at a fancy restaurant, then is rude and mean to the waitress. Then she finds out her grandfather is going to be doing a deal with him and the man is rude to her grandfather.
And she was mouthy. Many American women were. Often a smart mouth on a woman repelled him, but Selina's rosy lips were pretty enough that he'd prefer to silence her with a kiss.
Misogyny.
Then he asks her about work.
He didn't care about her job, but girls liked it when one showed interest in their pastimes.
More misogyny. Then she tells him she was working on an ad campaign for Corny Crunch.
"Did you say horny crunch?" He gave her his most flirtatious smile.
Do you think that is cute or funny? Are you 7? Do you consider this a good way to flirt with a woman? He is hurt and miffed she doesn't find this HILARIOUS.
Then he calls her a snob. Her. A snob. Considering all his behavior, I find this ridiculous beyond belief.
Then, her allegedly loving grandfather lies to the National Inquirer and tells them that Kamar and Selina are engaged.
He knows Selina narrowly missed being vaginally-raped by her scumbag stepfather when she was 15, and hasn't had a serious boyfriend since, and he throws her to this wolf. Yet the author seems to think this is a sweet and caring old man.
She goes along with it because 'she doesn't want to cause grandpa any trouble.'
Selina was beautiful and smart, but she was a nobody. Not marriage material. Never.
Then she makes the huge mistake of getting on her knees to get something out of a mini-fridge which makes our 'hero' go into paroxysms of lust.
Kamar smiled. Selina might be a mouthy American girl, but she knew her place: the kitchen.
Then he starts kissing and licking her feet, let's fast-forward that part, it's not pleasant...
She tells Kamar that if they are going to be fake-engaged he's going to have to stop being an asshole to everyone.
"You have to be nicer to people."
"Me? I am perfectly nice to people. Everyone loves me."
"You are not perfectly nice to people, and people don't love you. I saw you with that bartender last night."
"She was quite negligent." Kamar sipped juice.
"She was not negligent, and you were an arrogant buffoon."
She tries to explain being a nice and kind person to him, but he is very baffled. He LITERALLY does not see any reason to be nice to anyone who is not a.) family b.) a potential lover.
The fact that she continues to see him after this all-too-revealing conversation about the depths of his piece-of-shitness is mind-boggling to the extreme.
Every single time she goes out to eat with this scumbag after this she's scrambling to apologize to the waitstaff and is anxious and praying Kamar won't insult anyone. Is this someone you would MARRY? Is it? I mean, not even in Bizarro world. And Selina is shown as someone who is friendly and kind to menial workers, I can't believe she'd put up with this shit and then later make a decision to legally bind herself to this asshole. He's always arguing with her that politeness is "false" and "not being truthful" and just COMPLETELY does not understand why he shouldn't bark at, snap at, and insult people who are working for him/serving him. I can't... the author says this guy is going to be an ambassador for his country and work in the U.N. Not a chance in hell. Not a chance in hell this guy could ever have the diplomacy to work at the U.N. What a fucking piece of trash.
Then he insists on hand-feeding her, as if she were a baby, in public at a very public restaurant. I don't just mean one bite, I mean the whole fucking meal. Extreme turn-off. And she just GOES ALONG WITH IT, what the fuck!?!??!
And he's kissing her between every bite. In a public restaurant, I mean what the fuck?!
Then he tries to get her to have sex with him and she says no. He's shocked. SHOCKED. All American women are 'sluts.' How can she be turning him down? Hasn't she had sex with lots of men? Isn't she willing to jump into bed with anyone? He's very baffled. He LITERALLY thinks all American women are 'sluts', and says so in the book.
Then he says, listen to this gem,
Selina was a challenge, a challenge too compelling to ignore. The presence of her grandfather would add spice to the seduction.
EW. Seriously?! The fact that her grandfather is around all the time turns you on?!!? Because it's 'more challenging' to bed a woman right under her grandfather's nose? How sick IS this guy? Jeez.
I'll skip over some basic misogyny like him watching her exercise and thinking creeper thoughts and him seriously thinking that if a woman has hard nipples she must want to be fucked.
Fifteen minutes later, Selina found herself wearing a swirl of gold and diamonds, with an astounding ruby at its core. Stupefied, she let Kam lead her out to the gardens.
Don't let him buy you jewelry!!!! He'll think he owns your ass! He thinks this will mean your his sexual property!!!! Even I know that! Are you stupid!?!?!?!
Right after buying this for her and her thanking him, he tells her she should reciprocate with sex.
"But you withhold so much of yourself. We men are mercenary. A giving woman encourages us to give."
"That's cold. You mean that I'd get more goodies if I fooled around more?"
He shrugged. "Yes."
"Cold and crass." She removed her hand from his.
But she doesn't take the ring off and throw it in his face! She continues to wear it!!!! How a woman could continue wearing the ring of someone who would just blatantly say something like this to her, revealing for the four-hundredth time that he is shit, is BEYOND my understanding.
"I had wanted to buy you a gift, and when a man gives a woman a ring, it means only one thing. No matter what excuses they make, not matter what silly things they may say, it means only one thing."
"Huh." She turned that over inside her mind.
HUH? He's saying he owns your ass and you're saying "huh?"
"I like women," he said. "I like to know how they think and feel."
NO ONE BELIEVES THAT. No one believes that after everything you've said and done. You hate women, the only thing you like about them is fucking them and owning them as pets. And you LITERALLY said earlier that you do not care how they think and feel, only pretend to do so to mollify them. So, you're also a fucking liar.
THEN, he taunts her for not having sex with him by accusing her of being afraid. Basically saying, "Oh, why won't you have sex with me? Are you CHICKEN?? bwack bwack bwack!" Because that's so mature and also a great way to get women to have sex with you.
It's becoming increasingly obvious to me that if this man had not been a rich prince he'd still be someone who has never even kissed a woman, much less had sex with one.
She tells him about how her stepfather almost succeeded in vaginally raping her.
Then he says,
"Now much is clear to me. I will respect your boundaries. Until you are ready for me, I will not push you."
But he's obviously not respecting any boundaries because he STILL is absolutely convinced that she is going to have sex with him at some point. It never even occurs to him that maybe she will choose never to have sex with him.
They continue "dating."
"Let's also take a drive. I rented a Porshe at the airport that will bring tears to your pretty blue eyes." He took her arm in a warm, possessive grip.
"Why would you want me to cry?"
"So I can kiss away your delicious tears and offer you the comfort of my manly arm." He winked.
She sniffed. "Why are you being so romantic?"
ARGH!!!!!!!! This is not romantic in the least bit, it's creepy.
I'll fast forward through a lot of idiot conversations and idiot goingson and then they are married "accidentally" and she gets drunk and he has sex with her.
So. Blood's running down her legs the next morning because (surprise!) she's a virgin. And then he accuses her of raping him. OKAY, I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS SHIT.
He seems to realize that might have not been the best thing to say to her and starts to backpedal.
She does the first smart thing she's ever done and gets tested for STDs/AIDS and also takes a morning after pill. After all, he's slept with about a jillion women and never shuts up about it, so she's rightly terrified that she's just had unprotected sex with him.
She tells her grandpa she never wanted to get married and he says, "Oh, yes, you did!" And pulls out a picture of her as a five-year-old dressed like a bride. AS PROOF. Listen, that doesn't prove shit. I dressed up like Godzilla when I was five, and... oh, wait, that actually is true... I do want to be Godzilla...
Anyway, her grandfather is a moron. Runs in the family, I guess.
Then Kamar runs home to confess everything to his father. He's expecting his father to hate him for getting married (and to an American!) but instead his father scolds him for treating Selina like shit. So, since his father has approved it, he wanders back to America to take Selina back. Not because he loves her or anything, but because
With luck, he'd bed her tonight, and there would be no more silly talk about divorcing.
His family would be happy, Selina would be VERY happy, and as for Kam himself... well, he'd known that he'd have to marry one day, so what was the difference?
His father was right. Selina was a nice girl from a good family. He'd been lucky to find a sweet, sexy American woman with a beautiful neck who was well educated and a virgin to boot.
This is at 84%. 84% and this still isn't a romance, there's not a shred of romance in this. "Oh, well, I might as well marry her. She's pretty and I knew I'd have to get married someday." How on EARTH can you call this a romance novel!?!?!?!!?!?! He doesn't give a fuck about her as a person. He doesn't care about what she wants or needs or feels. At all.
Then when Selina brings up sex, he's like "What, you were planning to be a virgin for the rest of your life?!!? Stop living in the past!" This is what he says to his wife. And, he wants her to know her life was nothing before he was in it, obviously sad, empty, and unfulfilled.
He pressed his body, and his point, closer. "Do you want to have a life? Then stay with me. Give us a chance. Or you can go back to your Corny Crunch and your empty little job."
Her eyes chilled from lagoon to iceberg in an instant, and he realized that criticizing her job was a mistake.
This guy is so fucking stupid, but so is she because obviously they end up together in the end.
Oh, and she's mad at him all the time because he's on his cell phone 24/7.
He chuckled. "Yes, it is." His cell phone rang, and he answered it.
Disappointment stabbed. Would she ever have her husband to herself? Would Kam's phone fixation ever cease? She was conscientious about her job, but he took workaholism to an extreme....
He closed the phone and intercepted her before she placed even one foot on a riser. "I'd like a good-night kiss, please," he said.
A warm tide of affection rose in her chest. He cared after all.
He doesn't care about you, he just wants to fuck you. Those two things are VERY DIFFERENT. Wake up!
When she wakes up the next morning,
Kam intended to cook for her.
Since her childhood, no one in her life had nurtured her in this way.
He puts croissants and fruit on a plate. That's it. That's not cooking, okay? I mean... NO. And she's IMPRESSED by this?
He "makes" her breakfasts two days in a row and she's like, "This is going to be a good marriage." I'm on the floor laughing. Honey, men will do ANYTHING the first two days after you got married, this isn't indicative of what he'll be doing ten years from now! You're so dumb. So, so, so sadly dumb there's no hope for you.
The book ends, rather disgustingly, with them coming back to the resort five years later. They have two kids and a nanny and a servant with them. There are lots of jokes about how the nannies never last. That's not a joke, your kids are terrors and you don't discipline them because you are terrible parents. Apparently neither one of them values "the help" now if she has so little disregard for the wellbeing of the nannies in her employ. Discipline your children! Kamar never improves and apparently she's saddled with this scumbag for life. But she's just made peace with it or something or has convinced herself that he loves her or something. Tragic.
Tl;dr - One of the worst books I've ever read.
P.S. Kamar's obsession with women's necks really had me feeling that he was going to out himself as a vampire at any moment. He's always touching, kissing, stroking, fantasizing about, and staring at her neck. The author says that this is because he is from a Muslim country where women's necks are always covered. I say he's a creeper.
This is an alleged retelling of 'Robe of Feathers.'
Merry is hooking up her last few couples on her quest to 21 couples by age 30, otherwise she's cursed to remain a crone forever.
Selina meets Kamar, a George Clooney lookalike, when he first has a loud cell phone conversation in Arabic at a fancy restaurant, then is rude and mean to the waitress. Then she finds out her grandfather is going to be doing a deal with him and the man is rude to her grandfather.
And she was mouthy. Many American women were. Often a smart mouth on a woman repelled him, but Selina's rosy lips were pretty enough that he'd prefer to silence her with a kiss.
Misogyny.
Then he asks her about work.
He didn't care about her job, but girls liked it when one showed interest in their pastimes.
More misogyny. Then she tells him she was working on an ad campaign for Corny Crunch.
"Did you say horny crunch?" He gave her his most flirtatious smile.
Do you think that is cute or funny? Are you 7? Do you consider this a good way to flirt with a woman? He is hurt and miffed she doesn't find this HILARIOUS.
Then he calls her a snob. Her. A snob. Considering all his behavior, I find this ridiculous beyond belief.
Then, her allegedly loving grandfather lies to the National Inquirer and tells them that Kamar and Selina are engaged.
He knows Selina narrowly missed being vaginally-raped by her scumbag stepfather when she was 15, and hasn't had a serious boyfriend since, and he throws her to this wolf. Yet the author seems to think this is a sweet and caring old man.
She goes along with it because 'she doesn't want to cause grandpa any trouble.'
Selina was beautiful and smart, but she was a nobody. Not marriage material. Never.
Then she makes the huge mistake of getting on her knees to get something out of a mini-fridge which makes our 'hero' go into paroxysms of lust.
Kamar smiled. Selina might be a mouthy American girl, but she knew her place: the kitchen.
Then he starts kissing and licking her feet, let's fast-forward that part, it's not pleasant...
She tells Kamar that if they are going to be fake-engaged he's going to have to stop being an asshole to everyone.
"You have to be nicer to people."
"Me? I am perfectly nice to people. Everyone loves me."
"You are not perfectly nice to people, and people don't love you. I saw you with that bartender last night."
"She was quite negligent." Kamar sipped juice.
"She was not negligent, and you were an arrogant buffoon."
She tries to explain being a nice and kind person to him, but he is very baffled. He LITERALLY does not see any reason to be nice to anyone who is not a.) family b.) a potential lover.
The fact that she continues to see him after this all-too-revealing conversation about the depths of his piece-of-shitness is mind-boggling to the extreme.
Every single time she goes out to eat with this scumbag after this she's scrambling to apologize to the waitstaff and is anxious and praying Kamar won't insult anyone. Is this someone you would MARRY? Is it? I mean, not even in Bizarro world. And Selina is shown as someone who is friendly and kind to menial workers, I can't believe she'd put up with this shit and then later make a decision to legally bind herself to this asshole. He's always arguing with her that politeness is "false" and "not being truthful" and just COMPLETELY does not understand why he shouldn't bark at, snap at, and insult people who are working for him/serving him. I can't... the author says this guy is going to be an ambassador for his country and work in the U.N. Not a chance in hell. Not a chance in hell this guy could ever have the diplomacy to work at the U.N. What a fucking piece of trash.
Then he insists on hand-feeding her, as if she were a baby, in public at a very public restaurant. I don't just mean one bite, I mean the whole fucking meal. Extreme turn-off. And she just GOES ALONG WITH IT, what the fuck!?!??!
And he's kissing her between every bite. In a public restaurant, I mean what the fuck?!
Then he tries to get her to have sex with him and she says no. He's shocked. SHOCKED. All American women are 'sluts.' How can she be turning him down? Hasn't she had sex with lots of men? Isn't she willing to jump into bed with anyone? He's very baffled. He LITERALLY thinks all American women are 'sluts', and says so in the book.
Then he says, listen to this gem,
Selina was a challenge, a challenge too compelling to ignore. The presence of her grandfather would add spice to the seduction.
EW. Seriously?! The fact that her grandfather is around all the time turns you on?!!? Because it's 'more challenging' to bed a woman right under her grandfather's nose? How sick IS this guy? Jeez.
I'll skip over some basic misogyny like him watching her exercise and thinking creeper thoughts and him seriously thinking that if a woman has hard nipples she must want to be fucked.
Fifteen minutes later, Selina found herself wearing a swirl of gold and diamonds, with an astounding ruby at its core. Stupefied, she let Kam lead her out to the gardens.
Don't let him buy you jewelry!!!! He'll think he owns your ass! He thinks this will mean your his sexual property!!!! Even I know that! Are you stupid!?!?!?!
Right after buying this for her and her thanking him, he tells her she should reciprocate with sex.
"But you withhold so much of yourself. We men are mercenary. A giving woman encourages us to give."
"That's cold. You mean that I'd get more goodies if I fooled around more?"
He shrugged. "Yes."
"Cold and crass." She removed her hand from his.
But she doesn't take the ring off and throw it in his face! She continues to wear it!!!! How a woman could continue wearing the ring of someone who would just blatantly say something like this to her, revealing for the four-hundredth time that he is shit, is BEYOND my understanding.
"I had wanted to buy you a gift, and when a man gives a woman a ring, it means only one thing. No matter what excuses they make, not matter what silly things they may say, it means only one thing."
"Huh." She turned that over inside her mind.
HUH? He's saying he owns your ass and you're saying "huh?"
"I like women," he said. "I like to know how they think and feel."
NO ONE BELIEVES THAT. No one believes that after everything you've said and done. You hate women, the only thing you like about them is fucking them and owning them as pets. And you LITERALLY said earlier that you do not care how they think and feel, only pretend to do so to mollify them. So, you're also a fucking liar.
THEN, he taunts her for not having sex with him by accusing her of being afraid. Basically saying, "Oh, why won't you have sex with me? Are you CHICKEN?? bwack bwack bwack!" Because that's so mature and also a great way to get women to have sex with you.
It's becoming increasingly obvious to me that if this man had not been a rich prince he'd still be someone who has never even kissed a woman, much less had sex with one.
She tells him about how her stepfather almost succeeded in vaginally raping her.
Then he says,
"Now much is clear to me. I will respect your boundaries. Until you are ready for me, I will not push you."
But he's obviously not respecting any boundaries because he STILL is absolutely convinced that she is going to have sex with him at some point. It never even occurs to him that maybe she will choose never to have sex with him.
They continue "dating."
"Let's also take a drive. I rented a Porshe at the airport that will bring tears to your pretty blue eyes." He took her arm in a warm, possessive grip.
"Why would you want me to cry?"
"So I can kiss away your delicious tears and offer you the comfort of my manly arm." He winked.
She sniffed. "Why are you being so romantic?"
ARGH!!!!!!!! This is not romantic in the least bit, it's creepy.
I'll fast forward through a lot of idiot conversations and idiot goingson and then they are married "accidentally" and she gets drunk and he has sex with her.
So. Blood's running down her legs the next morning because (surprise!) she's a virgin. And then he accuses her of raping him. OKAY, I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS SHIT.
He seems to realize that might have not been the best thing to say to her and starts to backpedal.
She does the first smart thing she's ever done and gets tested for STDs/AIDS and also takes a morning after pill. After all, he's slept with about a jillion women and never shuts up about it, so she's rightly terrified that she's just had unprotected sex with him.
She tells her grandpa she never wanted to get married and he says, "Oh, yes, you did!" And pulls out a picture of her as a five-year-old dressed like a bride. AS PROOF. Listen, that doesn't prove shit. I dressed up like Godzilla when I was five, and... oh, wait, that actually is true... I do want to be Godzilla...
Anyway, her grandfather is a moron. Runs in the family, I guess.
Then Kamar runs home to confess everything to his father. He's expecting his father to hate him for getting married (and to an American!) but instead his father scolds him for treating Selina like shit. So, since his father has approved it, he wanders back to America to take Selina back. Not because he loves her or anything, but because
With luck, he'd bed her tonight, and there would be no more silly talk about divorcing.
His family would be happy, Selina would be VERY happy, and as for Kam himself... well, he'd known that he'd have to marry one day, so what was the difference?
His father was right. Selina was a nice girl from a good family. He'd been lucky to find a sweet, sexy American woman with a beautiful neck who was well educated and a virgin to boot.
This is at 84%. 84% and this still isn't a romance, there's not a shred of romance in this. "Oh, well, I might as well marry her. She's pretty and I knew I'd have to get married someday." How on EARTH can you call this a romance novel!?!?!?!!?!?! He doesn't give a fuck about her as a person. He doesn't care about what she wants or needs or feels. At all.
Then when Selina brings up sex, he's like "What, you were planning to be a virgin for the rest of your life?!!? Stop living in the past!" This is what he says to his wife. And, he wants her to know her life was nothing before he was in it, obviously sad, empty, and unfulfilled.
He pressed his body, and his point, closer. "Do you want to have a life? Then stay with me. Give us a chance. Or you can go back to your Corny Crunch and your empty little job."
Her eyes chilled from lagoon to iceberg in an instant, and he realized that criticizing her job was a mistake.
This guy is so fucking stupid, but so is she because obviously they end up together in the end.
Oh, and she's mad at him all the time because he's on his cell phone 24/7.
He chuckled. "Yes, it is." His cell phone rang, and he answered it.
Disappointment stabbed. Would she ever have her husband to herself? Would Kam's phone fixation ever cease? She was conscientious about her job, but he took workaholism to an extreme....
He closed the phone and intercepted her before she placed even one foot on a riser. "I'd like a good-night kiss, please," he said.
A warm tide of affection rose in her chest. He cared after all.
He doesn't care about you, he just wants to fuck you. Those two things are VERY DIFFERENT. Wake up!
When she wakes up the next morning,
Kam intended to cook for her.
Since her childhood, no one in her life had nurtured her in this way.
He puts croissants and fruit on a plate. That's it. That's not cooking, okay? I mean... NO. And she's IMPRESSED by this?
He "makes" her breakfasts two days in a row and she's like, "This is going to be a good marriage." I'm on the floor laughing. Honey, men will do ANYTHING the first two days after you got married, this isn't indicative of what he'll be doing ten years from now! You're so dumb. So, so, so sadly dumb there's no hope for you.
The book ends, rather disgustingly, with them coming back to the resort five years later. They have two kids and a nanny and a servant with them. There are lots of jokes about how the nannies never last. That's not a joke, your kids are terrors and you don't discipline them because you are terrible parents. Apparently neither one of them values "the help" now if she has so little disregard for the wellbeing of the nannies in her employ. Discipline your children! Kamar never improves and apparently she's saddled with this scumbag for life. But she's just made peace with it or something or has convinced herself that he loves her or something. Tragic.
Tl;dr - One of the worst books I've ever read.
P.S. Kamar's obsession with women's necks really had me feeling that he was going to out himself as a vampire at any moment. He's always touching, kissing, stroking, fantasizing about, and staring at her neck. The author says that this is because he is from a Muslim country where women's necks are always covered. I say he's a creeper.
August 26, 2016
The set-up was extremely silly, something about a magical matchmaker... But the characters were very likeable, evn the sexy sheikh :)
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