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Confessions of an Unlikely Runner: A Guide to Racing and Obstacle Courses for the Averagely Fit and Halfway Dedicated
Witty, observant, and full of cringe-worthy confessions and heartwarming encouragement, Confessions celebrates both running and life.
Part Bridget Jones, part Forrest Gump, Dana Ayers chronicles her awkward mishaps and adventures in transitioning from childhood bookworm to accidental accomplished athlete. Over the last ten years, Ayers has completed a vast array of races. She runs them all while admittedly not getting much faster, much thinner, or much more disciplined—though she has managed to be on national television, split open her pants, and get electrocuted. Ayers intersperses her hilarious yet relatable struggles with insights about how and why she keeps running.
A self-proclaimed ambassador of slow runners, Ayers has completed dozens of endurance challenges, including Tough Mudder, the Ragnar Relay, Muddy Buddy, Warrior Dash, Run Amuck, the Army Ten-Miler, the Country Music Marathon, and many more mud runs, obstacles courses, and races. Her race descriptions will entertain seasoned runners and non-runners alike. Woven into the chaos of her running adventures is compassionate reassurance for anyone who feels like they aren’t fast enough, athletic enough, or strong enough to finish a tough race.
Though told with humor, Confessions’ stories share an underlying theme of Ayers’ serious reverence for the sport of running and the running community. Ayers describes experiences such as participating in a 1,000-mile relay for Boston Marathon bombing victims, and being overcome by emotion while observing wounded veterans struggling to finish a race. Her stories prove how life-enriching it can be to physically fight for something and to cheer on others who are doing the same.
For anyone who has considered trying a marathon, an obstacle race, or simply taking up running for the first time, Ayers is your ambassador. If she can do it, you can too.
Part Bridget Jones, part Forrest Gump, Dana Ayers chronicles her awkward mishaps and adventures in transitioning from childhood bookworm to accidental accomplished athlete. Over the last ten years, Ayers has completed a vast array of races. She runs them all while admittedly not getting much faster, much thinner, or much more disciplined—though she has managed to be on national television, split open her pants, and get electrocuted. Ayers intersperses her hilarious yet relatable struggles with insights about how and why she keeps running.
A self-proclaimed ambassador of slow runners, Ayers has completed dozens of endurance challenges, including Tough Mudder, the Ragnar Relay, Muddy Buddy, Warrior Dash, Run Amuck, the Army Ten-Miler, the Country Music Marathon, and many more mud runs, obstacles courses, and races. Her race descriptions will entertain seasoned runners and non-runners alike. Woven into the chaos of her running adventures is compassionate reassurance for anyone who feels like they aren’t fast enough, athletic enough, or strong enough to finish a tough race.
Though told with humor, Confessions’ stories share an underlying theme of Ayers’ serious reverence for the sport of running and the running community. Ayers describes experiences such as participating in a 1,000-mile relay for Boston Marathon bombing victims, and being overcome by emotion while observing wounded veterans struggling to finish a race. Her stories prove how life-enriching it can be to physically fight for something and to cheer on others who are doing the same.
For anyone who has considered trying a marathon, an obstacle race, or simply taking up running for the first time, Ayers is your ambassador. If she can do it, you can too.
169 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 29, 2015
253 people are currently reading
1195 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 196 reviews
June 15, 2016
Confessions of an Unlikely Runner filled me with hope. Hope that one day, I too with my sporadic training style and bookworm tendencies, could stumble my way through a race longer than a 10k at, if not respectable pace, then at least a step above sedate. Ayers is funny, candid, and self effacing in Confessions, her sports memoir. She gives tips and tricks from her many years of race running as well as humorous stories to comfort and amuse struggling athletes. I liked her writing style immediately. It's down to earth and genuine. This book is appropriate everyone but I think that the beginner to intermediate runners will enjoy her humor the most.
Ayers' thoughts about running: "Running as helped me deal with coworkers and break-ups, has taught me what I'm capable of physically and emotionally, has introduced me to some fascinating people, and has taught me how to accept support. Of course, it's also gotten me electrocuted..." pg 3
How she stumbled into marathon running: "I honestly don't remember how I decided on a marathon as my weight-loss enabler. I searched through old emails and found one I'd written on November 15, 2009, to my friend Kami. The subject line just said, "Marathon," and the email started with, "I may want to do one. Haha." pg 17
On running at the back of the pack: "But being slow has its perks. Races are like mullets: business in the front, party in the back." pg 28 Cracked me up.
On cross-training, here Ayers describes her first CrossFit class: "At some point during my last rep, my contact lens slipped off my eye. Even my eyeballs are working in this class. I had to walk back out past the MMA testosterone ring to get to the ladies' room to fix it, and that's when I realized I could no longer straighten my arms. I was walking like a T-Rex and couldn't help it. I won't be joining a CrossFit gym anytime soon." pg 91
I'm seriously considering purchasing one of my sisters this book- it's hilarious and uplifting. If you enjoyed Confessions of an Unlikely Runner, you may also like Down Size: 12 Truths for Turning Pants-Splitting Frustration into Pants-Fitting Success by Ted Spiker or Running Like a Girl by Alexandra Heminsly.
Ayers' thoughts about running: "Running as helped me deal with coworkers and break-ups, has taught me what I'm capable of physically and emotionally, has introduced me to some fascinating people, and has taught me how to accept support. Of course, it's also gotten me electrocuted..." pg 3
How she stumbled into marathon running: "I honestly don't remember how I decided on a marathon as my weight-loss enabler. I searched through old emails and found one I'd written on November 15, 2009, to my friend Kami. The subject line just said, "Marathon," and the email started with, "I may want to do one. Haha." pg 17
On running at the back of the pack: "But being slow has its perks. Races are like mullets: business in the front, party in the back." pg 28 Cracked me up.
On cross-training, here Ayers describes her first CrossFit class: "At some point during my last rep, my contact lens slipped off my eye. Even my eyeballs are working in this class. I had to walk back out past the MMA testosterone ring to get to the ladies' room to fix it, and that's when I realized I could no longer straighten my arms. I was walking like a T-Rex and couldn't help it. I won't be joining a CrossFit gym anytime soon." pg 91
I'm seriously considering purchasing one of my sisters this book- it's hilarious and uplifting. If you enjoyed Confessions of an Unlikely Runner, you may also like Down Size: 12 Truths for Turning Pants-Splitting Frustration into Pants-Fitting Success by Ted Spiker or Running Like a Girl by Alexandra Heminsly.
October 7, 2016
I think I just didn't like the book because the author annoyed me. She's one of those goofy people who says weird things just to say them and that always gets on my nerves. As a runner, I'm not super fast, but I can be competitive and am always trying to improve my running to the best of my ability. Dana seems to run to a) lose weight and b) do those silly themed races that aren't for people who like running without actually trying to improve. She never seems to be prepared for the races she runs, which for me would be recipe for injury (and I'm super jealous that she never seems to get injured). I can see this book being motivational to someone who has never run before and wants to start, but for anyone who actually likes running, it's kind of frustrating to read.
February 3, 2017
Really funny & a lot that I can relate to as a wanna-be runner.
June 2, 2018
Such a fun read! Next time someone says “tell me again why you pay to do that.....” just loan them this book. She really captures the spirit and soul of runners.
June 4, 2016
while I don't know if this book matches the description of 'a combination of Bridget Jones and Forest Gump' (or something like that) I did find it laugh out loud funny, touching, completely relatable and I pretty much want to be Dana Ayers new best friend. It's a quick fun read that made my feel almost ok about being a 'back of the packer'. It also reinforced that I shouldn't let my speed (or lack thereof) determine the adventures I undertake. Runner friends, if you don't take your runner-self too, too seriously, I strongly recommend this read.
October 4, 2015
This was a random read. I was scrolling through the top 100 free books on Amazon and this one caught my eye. This was a really fun book because a) I hate running..and b) I actually go running a few times a week. Sometimes every weekday. I found a lot of what the author had to say relatable. I feel like i need to go sign up for a marathon now! Also... The author is hilarious. I was literally laughing out loud at some points. Seriously glad I decided to pick this one up.
August 8, 2017
I read this on a flight, and I found myself trying not to laugh out loud too much. This book is me! Most would call me a runner, but I have never been able to give myself that label even after two full marathons. So relatable, and if I lived closer to the author, I'd want to be her running buddy. Such a good read for anyone who has ever even thought about lacing up those sneakers!
January 6, 2019
this was a light quick read full of observational humour and personal anecdotes - fun and easy to finish the year with
August 5, 2024
Personally I didn’t enjoy this at all, it felt like it was just a book of mundane complaints, nothing motivational in it for me. Might be someone else’s cup of tea for sure so don’t let this opinion point you away from it, but I didn’t like it or the complaints or the constant “quirkiness” coming into play literally every single paragraph .. not for me
November 5, 2023
Super fun book if you're a pavement pounder like me!
December 9, 2020
A very relatable book for someone who runs for fun rather than time. The type of humor used in the book was not for me. This was a quick and easy read; great for somebody that has just begun their running journey.
January 5, 2017
Fun, quick read about Ayers' experiences being a "casual" runner. Not a "how-to" for budding marathoners but it does give insight into the nitty gritty of different types of marathons and relays.
"We are the casual runners, as opposed to the competitive runners. Casual makes it sounds like it's my choice. Like I'm just keeping things casual with running. Like running and I sometimes see other people, because we're non-committal like that." That's basically the tone of the whole book. Very enjoyable, specially if you're intimidated by something you've wanted to try but don't think you'll fit in - a yoga class, cross fit, marathons... she'll inspire you to not take yourself so seriously and get out there and do it anyway.
"We are the casual runners, as opposed to the competitive runners. Casual makes it sounds like it's my choice. Like I'm just keeping things casual with running. Like running and I sometimes see other people, because we're non-committal like that." That's basically the tone of the whole book. Very enjoyable, specially if you're intimidated by something you've wanted to try but don't think you'll fit in - a yoga class, cross fit, marathons... she'll inspire you to not take yourself so seriously and get out there and do it anyway.
February 28, 2024
If you’re new to running or don’t fit the typical runner mold I highly recommend you read I Hate Running And You Can Too by Brendan Leonard as well as Slow AF Run Club by Martinus Evans instead.
Because this is a load of crock!
Are you a casual runner or aren’t you, Ms. Avery? No casual runner runs a marathon, but then you make offhand remarks of how underprepared you are for every race. And no, not everyone can run a marathon. Many race organizers clearly state cut off times (which are most commonly 4 hours). So while I hope you’re honestly trying to be encouraging, you come off as flippant.
Because this is a load of crock!
Are you a casual runner or aren’t you, Ms. Avery? No casual runner runs a marathon, but then you make offhand remarks of how underprepared you are for every race. And no, not everyone can run a marathon. Many race organizers clearly state cut off times (which are most commonly 4 hours). So while I hope you’re honestly trying to be encouraging, you come off as flippant.
March 4, 2018
I had no expectations for this book--it was a free download from Amazon, but I picked it for my running book club this month. Funny and completely relateable, this was a great read for any middle of the pack or back of the pack runner.
September 6, 2015
Funny!
Good,fast read. Being a "back of the pack" runner also, I could relate to many of Dana's experiences. I really enjoyed this.
Good,fast read. Being a "back of the pack" runner also, I could relate to many of Dana's experiences. I really enjoyed this.
September 9, 2015
Cute fun read....as a runner, I laughed and nodded my way through the book.
July 27, 2017
"Although you may not be the fastest or even the most dedicated person, running will embrace you anyway and offer you rewards beyond your expectation." ~ Ayers
Quick excerpt that made me giggle, because it is me!
"Sometimes motivation comes in waves, and you just have to ride out the times when it’s not happening so much. To illustrate how this works, here’s a chronological look at my motivation levels on a typical run:
Beyonce starts to sing to me and I begin my run.
I pass a man on a bike who leers at me, and I make a face and run faster.
I immediately slow down again, because I’m only a half-mile in and I already want to stop. I check to see how fast I’m running and then get angry and sad. Oh, thank goodness. I’ve at least done one mile.
I wonder if I can take a walk break now. “Harlem Shake” comes on my playlist, and I have to resist the urge to stop and do the Bernie dance.
I adjust my shorts.
I adjust my arm band.
I pass a ridiculously ripped girl wearing only a sports bra and a pair of shorts she clearly stole from a 4-year-old. I smile. She doesn’t. I hate her and want to be her, simultaneously.
Around this point, on various runs, I’ve seen a man nearly drive into the river, a man walking his giant pet snake, and a lady Rollerblading with a cocker spaniel on her shoulders. This is not far from the general area where I once tripped over nothing and skinned my leg from knee to ankle. I remain on high alert in this area.
I adjust my shorts.
I adjust my arm band.
I hit the place where I try to look like a good runner because people in cars can see me as they drive past.
I come to the area where people in cars can no longer see me and I resume the pace of a one-year-old climbing stairs. I’m so tired that when I pass another runner, the only thing I can do in acknowledgement is nod almost imperceptibly.
Another runner passes me and bares his teeth like a Doberman. Yes sir, I understand you are attempting to smile and physically can’t right now. I see your grimace, and raise you an eye blink substitute for a head nod, in acknowledgement of your existence.
I make an audible grunting noise in protest of this whole running thing. I freeze and glance around, wondering how loud that grunt was, since I’m wearing headphones. I lose all sense of pride and start to bob my head and mouth the words to a Kanye West song to distract me from running.
I adjust my shorts. I adjust my arm band.
I finally hit a place where I’m close enough to my house that I’ll let myself walk shame-free the rest of the way."
I think this was taken from her blog! Such a fast and way read! Reminds me of my crazy casual love affair with running, the thoughts that spin in my mind, and the satisfaction of knowing I can push myself further. It also reminded me that I have done 2 5k challenge races like a Tough Mudder.... and many race lengths except the tried and true marathon or those crazy ultras! Oh, running..... damn you.
Quick excerpt that made me giggle, because it is me!
"Sometimes motivation comes in waves, and you just have to ride out the times when it’s not happening so much. To illustrate how this works, here’s a chronological look at my motivation levels on a typical run:
Beyonce starts to sing to me and I begin my run.
I pass a man on a bike who leers at me, and I make a face and run faster.
I immediately slow down again, because I’m only a half-mile in and I already want to stop. I check to see how fast I’m running and then get angry and sad. Oh, thank goodness. I’ve at least done one mile.
I wonder if I can take a walk break now. “Harlem Shake” comes on my playlist, and I have to resist the urge to stop and do the Bernie dance.
I adjust my shorts.
I adjust my arm band.
I pass a ridiculously ripped girl wearing only a sports bra and a pair of shorts she clearly stole from a 4-year-old. I smile. She doesn’t. I hate her and want to be her, simultaneously.
Around this point, on various runs, I’ve seen a man nearly drive into the river, a man walking his giant pet snake, and a lady Rollerblading with a cocker spaniel on her shoulders. This is not far from the general area where I once tripped over nothing and skinned my leg from knee to ankle. I remain on high alert in this area.
I adjust my shorts.
I adjust my arm band.
I hit the place where I try to look like a good runner because people in cars can see me as they drive past.
I come to the area where people in cars can no longer see me and I resume the pace of a one-year-old climbing stairs. I’m so tired that when I pass another runner, the only thing I can do in acknowledgement is nod almost imperceptibly.
Another runner passes me and bares his teeth like a Doberman. Yes sir, I understand you are attempting to smile and physically can’t right now. I see your grimace, and raise you an eye blink substitute for a head nod, in acknowledgement of your existence.
I make an audible grunting noise in protest of this whole running thing. I freeze and glance around, wondering how loud that grunt was, since I’m wearing headphones. I lose all sense of pride and start to bob my head and mouth the words to a Kanye West song to distract me from running.
I adjust my shorts. I adjust my arm band.
I finally hit a place where I’m close enough to my house that I’ll let myself walk shame-free the rest of the way."
I think this was taken from her blog! Such a fast and way read! Reminds me of my crazy casual love affair with running, the thoughts that spin in my mind, and the satisfaction of knowing I can push myself further. It also reminded me that I have done 2 5k challenge races like a Tough Mudder.... and many race lengths except the tried and true marathon or those crazy ultras! Oh, running..... damn you.
January 18, 2021
If you've ever run any races, this book and the author actually does quite a good job of capturing the high that comes from running into text. But I have a lot of problems with this book, and I'll narrow it down to the big ones. This review will contain spoilers.
Dana Ayers makes running sound like a sport for the elite and the privileged: spending hundreds of dollars on marathons and being able to take flights all over the country to participate in races, plus having seemingly unlimited time and no responsibility of having a family who's relying on you day to day. On page 67, she even admits that she's "... amazed by the efforts of my friends to come up with such a crazy race, then build it out and train to run it over the next several months, on top of their regular jobs and family duties." But she also spends a majority of this book claiming to be a "casual runner" and that if she can do it, anybody can.
This leads me into my second issue. Ayers calls herself "the unlikely runner" who became addicted to the highs of running and completing extreme distance races, yet still considers herself a "casual runner". If participating in a 500+ mile long relay is "casual" then I guess I'm just a dead body on the floor. Sections of the texts labeled "Pro-Tip" are even speckled throughout the book. Is she a casual runner? Or is she a professional, throwing "Pro-Tips" out left and right? A lot of the "Pro-Tip"'s aren't even tips at all, but author commentary on something arbitrary that she had just previously written down.
Finally, one of the bigger issues about this book is that the Ayers is tone deaf. Early on in the book, Ayers compares the excitement of running a marathon to the Athens Greece riots that took place in 2011. But that's not all — on page 75, she drops a racist bomb when mentioning that she's worried "... about how the group would fare running through Philadelphia or Manhattan at all hours of the night, ...". What would cause worry SPECIFICALLY about these two locations? On page 76, she writes that she's also nervous to run in "the more desolate areas of New York City." During an essay written about CrossFit, she jokingly writes that completing a Workout Of The Day would earn her a teardrop tattoo. Tone deaf and racist.
I can't recommend this book. I actually highly recommend that you don't read it. If you're a distance runner looking for something to relate to; a person who uses running as their main form of cardio looking for something to motivate them; or a runner (like myself) who sometimes struggles to get outside to actually do the thing and is looking for something to inspire them, LOOK ELSEWHERE. This is not it.
Dana Ayers makes running sound like a sport for the elite and the privileged: spending hundreds of dollars on marathons and being able to take flights all over the country to participate in races, plus having seemingly unlimited time and no responsibility of having a family who's relying on you day to day. On page 67, she even admits that she's "... amazed by the efforts of my friends to come up with such a crazy race, then build it out and train to run it over the next several months, on top of their regular jobs and family duties." But she also spends a majority of this book claiming to be a "casual runner" and that if she can do it, anybody can.
This leads me into my second issue. Ayers calls herself "the unlikely runner" who became addicted to the highs of running and completing extreme distance races, yet still considers herself a "casual runner". If participating in a 500+ mile long relay is "casual" then I guess I'm just a dead body on the floor. Sections of the texts labeled "Pro-Tip" are even speckled throughout the book. Is she a casual runner? Or is she a professional, throwing "Pro-Tips" out left and right? A lot of the "Pro-Tip"'s aren't even tips at all, but author commentary on something arbitrary that she had just previously written down.
Finally, one of the bigger issues about this book is that the Ayers is tone deaf. Early on in the book, Ayers compares the excitement of running a marathon to the Athens Greece riots that took place in 2011. But that's not all — on page 75, she drops a racist bomb when mentioning that she's worried "... about how the group would fare running through Philadelphia or Manhattan at all hours of the night, ...". What would cause worry SPECIFICALLY about these two locations? On page 76, she writes that she's also nervous to run in "the more desolate areas of New York City." During an essay written about CrossFit, she jokingly writes that completing a Workout Of The Day would earn her a teardrop tattoo. Tone deaf and racist.
I can't recommend this book. I actually highly recommend that you don't read it. If you're a distance runner looking for something to relate to; a person who uses running as their main form of cardio looking for something to motivate them; or a runner (like myself) who sometimes struggles to get outside to actually do the thing and is looking for something to inspire them, LOOK ELSEWHERE. This is not it.
February 4, 2021
This was an okay read. Funny and very much like I was just having a conversation with the author. However I didn’t identify with many of her sentiments of imposter syndrome, so I feel there was a disconnect throughout. It was nice to have the race imagery and narrative, though! Especially after a year like 2020, where I had to stop running with my running group for health precautions regarding covid.
Very fast read and definitely motivating! A reminder of why I love running and the running community.
Very fast read and definitely motivating! A reminder of why I love running and the running community.
October 13, 2021
Funny little running memoir. She had some really ridiculous stories in here. 😂 Nothing revolutionary, and I wanted it to be longer and more filled out, but it was a completely lovely little running book which gave me some motivation to keep training.
January 29, 2024
Good humor, inspiring and gets me excited to train for an upcoming half marathon. Not sure i should have read a whole book today though 🤷🏼♀️
October 13, 2017
OK - I'm a runner - and a slow one - and one who is half dedicated also - so I LOVED this book. Dana Ayers justs gets me! I read this book and kept thinking to myself "same girl same". I love Ayers writing style - it's a cross between Mindy Kalig and Tina Fey. i want to invite Ayers to my daughters Bat Mitzvah and sit her at my table. I want to be besties with her - I feel like I already am. if you run - this book will resonate with you - the runner war stories definitely have a theme - and Ayers can write - she should write for SNL. he he. I'm inspired and laughing at the same time. (if you are not a runner - skip this book - you wont understand).
April 5, 2017
Really enjoyed the book but I think it could have been even more detailed in some passages, anyway this is a very funny book and if you are into obstacle course racing it is a very entertaining option.
October 13, 2017
Super cute read. Short and sweet and just $2.99 on Amazon. Made me want to run lol.
March 23, 2017
In the book the author writes about her accomplishes while being a runner. She does this on a really funny and motivational way, and with a lot of irony.
The chapters are about the races she did, which include a marathon, tough mudder and even relays who lasted couple of days.
it was really a nice read.
The chapters are about the races she did, which include a marathon, tough mudder and even relays who lasted couple of days.
it was really a nice read.
February 25, 2017
Fell in love with running all over again
Sweet and hilarious Miss Dana brings to life so many truths about running and training for races. After taking a seriously long break from running ( 8.5 months), she's quite inspired me & I'm back to taking my ”mini vacations” also known as my early morning runs! Thank you Miss Dana! May God continue to bless you
Sweet and hilarious Miss Dana brings to life so many truths about running and training for races. After taking a seriously long break from running ( 8.5 months), she's quite inspired me & I'm back to taking my ”mini vacations” also known as my early morning runs! Thank you Miss Dana! May God continue to bless you
February 21, 2017
Such a fun and inspiring little book! I'm currently recovering from a shoulder fracture (which actually happened while tripping on a run back in Dec!). This was just the right book to get me motivated, " in the mood" and back on track...reminding me of the multiple layers of running and why it's worth it, in spite of bad weather or feeling like snuggling under the covers or hating hills or... I chuckled the whole way through, and feel like going right out and joining a running group (and, me, an introvert!) and signing up for a new race. Dana Ayers tears down some tall barriers with her funny antics on her many challenging race experiences and makes it easier for anyone to embrace "being a runner".
February 26, 2017
amazing and inspirational!!
as a middle of the pack runner, i can relate to basically everything in here and it is refreshing to see i am not alone!!! brilliant book! thanks dana!!
as a middle of the pack runner, i can relate to basically everything in here and it is refreshing to see i am not alone!!! brilliant book! thanks dana!!
February 26, 2017
Entertaining and informative, this is a quick read for motivation as they start running. And it's true, after reading you will see dental flossers everywhere...
February 24, 2017
Very inspirational!
Author's determination and sense of humor are threaded throughout her tales of increasingly challenging physical goals. I have been a runner for almost 40 years and have felt so many of the feelings she described. Loved this!!!!
Author's determination and sense of humor are threaded throughout her tales of increasingly challenging physical goals. I have been a runner for almost 40 years and have felt so many of the feelings she described. Loved this!!!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 196 reviews