The Conch Shell of Doom

by Ryan Hill

Bailey didn’t mean to catch his parents plotting to unleash the sinister Trenton Maroney and his powerful oceanic army on the world. It was an honest mistake. Now, he’s got the horribly disfigured Mr. Lovell on his trail, which is doing wonders for Bailey’s anxiety.

His only ally is Franklin, a burn-out several decades past wishing his brother Trenton was destroyed for good. Franklin has battled his brother for two thousand years, and has nothing to show for it except his beloved Mustang.

To stop Mr. Lovell from awakening Trenton, Franklin and Bailey will have to get past his parents, a one-eyed stoner, crooked cops, giant Scotsmen, and Trenton’s army, which can only be summoned by one thing: the mysterious Conch Shell of Doom.

Genres: Young Adult

330 pages, Paperback

First published May 24, 2016

About the author

Growing up, Ryan Hill used to spend his time reading and writing instead of doing homework. This resulted in an obsession with becoming a writer, but also a gross incompetence in the fields of science and mathematics. A graduate of North Carolina State University, Ryan has been a film critic for over five years. He lives in Raleigh, NC, with his dog/shadow Maggie. Ryan also feels strange about referring to himself in the third person.

Reviews

[Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://functioninginsanity.blogspot.c...

I was provided a copy for an early honest review.

Rating: 4 Stars

The Conch Shell of Doom follow a group of very different people on a quest to save the world. Bailey is your typical boring high school kid dealing with anxiety and normal things on summer break when he accidentally hears his parents plotting to unleash evil in the form of Trenton Maroney and his oceanic army. He doesn’t believe it at first but as he sees things that are undeniably not normal he is forced to believe. Franklin, an immortal searching for a way to finally end his brother once and for all instead of simply stopping his return every few decades. Within all of this is the powerful and mysterious Conch Shell of Doom. All parties collide in this fun quest to save or destroy the world as sides are picked and battles fought.

So I went into this book not knowing a whole lot about it and just from the fun cover and concept just dove in. I think it was the perfect decision because this book is fun. There is plenty of serious things happening, trying to save the world, good vs. evil, family drama, oceanic armies and the like sure but it was also at its core fun. The cover and title alone lead you to believe it will be a bit whimsical. A conch shell being super powerful, yep that’s crazy and funny.

There is a diverse and eclectic cast of characters in this one for sure from the hardened yet sentimental Franklin, don’t mess with his Mustang, to the bartender with spunk, to the group of high school kids who are not what one would call mature to the disfigured and magical Mr. Lovell to some minions including crooked cops, a stoner, and more. Each one had their own voice and traits that made them stand out. I think Julie might be my favorite though.

The whole story is quick witted and fast paced so you breeze right on through it. It’s a series of events that are humorous and fun but also have some serious notes to them. I don’t know how to describe it any other way and explaining to much would take away some of the fun. It kind of reminded me in tiny pieces here and there of some of my favorite things and there are pop culture references galore! So for now I’ll just have to say if you want a fun read pick up The Conch Shell of Doom and give it a go.

[Sage Knightly · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Those who insist on remaining sheep will be eaten by wolves." -Page 170

This is an interesting tale about a teenaged boy, Bailey, who discovers his parents' part in a plot to unleash evil into the world. With his anxiety out of sorts and always messing things up for him, running away proves to be difficult, especially when a terrifying and deformed brute of a man can teleport. Convincing his friends he's not crazy proves to be even more difficult, until they too see the truth and help Bailey try to foil their parents' plans. Rushing head first into danger, Bailey and his friends follow shady characters, battle against stoners and immortals and Bailey's own parents, and join forces with Franklin to prevent Trenton's awakening.

This was a very enjoyable read, full of action and adventure! Death and violence was a huge part of this story, even when the tone was light. I loved every minute of it!

CHARACTERS
Bailey is a sixteen-year-old boy who struggles with anxiety. His medication doesn't always work, especially when the anxiety is really bad. This is one of the things that prevents him from expressing his feelings for Alexis, Tim's (one of his best buds) twin sister. He's sweet and compassionate, always trying to be a gentleman around his crush. He's also very awkward and insecure. No matter what though, he does what he believes is right, even if that means having to fight against his hypnotized parents while they try to kill him. He doesn't let his anxiety control him all the time, and that was made evident the more his character grew. I quite liked him!

Alexis is the only one who really came close to death. She literally had seconds before she was dead, but they thankfully kept her alive. She's brave, and after having already fought off leukemia, she's strong enough to fight off any other form of death that tries to take her. She's intelligent, strong, and she's a Fangirl. She fought with a wand made by Merlin because how cool is that?! She's wicked awesome with magic and got the hang of it pretty quickly. She never backed down from the fight, and I love her for it.

"Her limp head fell to the side, exposing her pale neck. Bailey was glad there weren't any vampires around. They'd probably take that as open invitation." -Page 149

Tim + Marshall are pretty similar, only Tim likes to think he's a ninja and has some pretty cool moves despite being the smallest of the group, while Marshall has muscle but tends to freeze up in uncertainty. They were entertaining and made jokes like no tomorrow, especially about Julie's boobs and how many there might be in her bar.

"It's a bar. All they do is drink alcohol. The boob stuff they probably do out back or something." -Page 213

Franklin is Trenton's bother. He's immortal, determined to make sure his brother doesn't get awakened for another few years or a century, and has seen a lot of death in his time. Two thousand years old and still fairly young looking, he's just beginning to forget strategic tactics and skills in old age. He kills, plucks out Trenton's followers, and lets himself get beat up a time or two if it means being able to stay on track to keep his brother from returning. He is strong, determined, and intelligent. He's also snarky and witty and can never keep his mouth shut, even if he tells him self it's best to shut up. He's tried to save the world from Trenton multiple times, but he isn't the only threat.

"What's even more messed up is how often people fail to save the world," -Page 249

Mr. Lovell is the deformed brute of a man who can teleport. He's deformed because many, many years ago he got caught on fire and well, burnt to a crisp pretty much. Immortality doesn't make you pretty. Shame. He has Trenton's head in his stomach to preserve him until his awakening, where he can finally have his whole body back and not just be a voice in Mr. Lovell's head. They're a scary duo, intimidating and killing people because they can. Their passion for this new world they could create made them the perfect pair to join forces. My only question is how Mr. Lovell got caught up in it all in the first place.

Deckland was scary as heck. He's not even fully immortal and he can jump off a 4-story balcony and land on his feet with no harm done! He's violent and practically ruthless and I loved him. He's probably my favourite character from this book.

Julie is a force to be reckoned with. Almost completely fearless, she stands tall even when facing something impossible. Which is how she got caught up in Franklin's life mission. I admired her. She could fight if needed be, she stood up for herself even if it meant pouring guns at scary ginormous dudes, and she's intelligent. She made a perfect partner in crime, if you will.

WRITING
The writing is light and humorous even when the actual events are dark, much like Rick Riordan's style. Only more geared towards adults for language and other descriptions. It kept me hooked and it was entertaining to boot! The best part? All the dialogue and action and everything in general felt natural, so it was easy to fall into the story and envision something similar actually happening.

"The longer you live, the more painful your death will be."
"Thanks, Mom." Bailey opened the door. "Good to know." -Page 200

PLOT
Very little was predictable. At certain points I would be confused, wondering why a character didn't use their secret weapon already. The author did this so it wouldn't be predictable, because I saw something coming that never happened. It happened when you least expected it, when you weren't thinking about it anymore. I applaud the author for this, because I was surprised a lot! It really kept the book going at a good pace, and I enjoyed every minute of it!

OVERALL
The Conch Shell of Doom is an adventure that will keep you engaged and entertained. With brilliant characters and an awesome adventure with lots of action, what more could you ask for?

*Review originally posted here
*A huge thanks to the author for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review.:)

[Laylarenee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I promised a review and here it is. I'm sorry it took so long but, you know, life. Always getting in the way.

For this review, I'm going to tell you a story.

Much like the day I finished Saint Odd, where I cried walking through the grocery store, this book had the opposite effect on me. I was feeling terrible. I was having a very hard time personally. With the death of my father , hospital stuff, and all the normal stresses of everyday life my gas tank and run empty and was needing a fun book to help bring me up to happiness. This book did the trick. I laughed, giggled, and was surprised. Truly, guys, this book is well worth the read. Need a pick me up here it is.

[Naturalbri (Bri Wignall) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a brilliant wee story. It is one of those books that approaches every day life challenges, such as getting through school, friends, family and other parts of growing up, but it does so in a way that is funny, light and very enjoyable.

I liked the characters in this book. There were a good variety of personalities, giving everyone someone they can connect to, like and dislike. The interaction between all of the different characters really helped to build this story. It round out the lives of the characters and really gave it that feel that you were dealing with daily life challenges, just with a little extra in the cast.

The pace of the book was excellent. It was fast, smart and had lots of snarky, witty comments, to really make it run. It didn't labour any points or try to drive home lessons, but instead got to the point of the lessons and how to deal with challenges, using the wit and hilarity needed to make it light and fun. The faster pace meant that it was easy to get hooked on the story and stay completely enthralled, until the final page.

This is a great read for young readers to enjoy, become a part of and really test their imaginations. It is books like this that will help the next generation of readers fall in love with books, just as I did.

Overall, a brilliant and exciting read. I highly recommend this to young readers and adults alike.

**I received this book for free in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion.

[Elissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written in the light and irreverant style of Douglas Adams, this story features an eclectic cast ranging from immortals to teenagers striving either to conquer or save the world. The characterizations of the teens feel bang on based on my own memories of those years translated into today's instant gratification sound byte world. Those of the immortals are the author's own as I have, personally, never met one. Mr. Hill lets loose his fertile imagination and a gamer's sensibilities and creates an exciting adventure with hints of romance, chase scenes, odd beings and creatures and a lot of fun. (How did I get this read so fast? I scored an ARC, of course!)

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this story through a giveaway I had entered.
It took me a bit to get into the story. Once I was a couple chapters in, the story became funnier and funnier until I was laughing instead of groaning at all the puns and riffs. By the time I was about half way through the story, I was eagerly flipping pages and annoyed when I had to put it down for work, sleep, and other life necessities.

[Danielle Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the funniest books I have ever read. The random hilarity mashes together for this epic adventure during an imminent apocalypse. This book is going to be lovingly tucked in next to my Douglas Adams books, where is rightfully belongs.

[Sage Nestler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ryan Hill is an excellent author. He not only has an outstanding imagination, but he also knows how to intertwine humor into his writing in a way that doesn't come off as tacky, but ingenious.

Going into reading The Conch Shell of Doom I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it. It is not the type of book that I usually read, but I thought that I would give it a shot. The book is described as a science fiction/fantasy novel, but reads more like a novel version of a comic book. The story is full of action, and even though the synopsis makes it sounds as though it is a childish action adventure, the writing far surpassed that younger age group. Hill's writing is professional and witty, and none of it sounded forced.

It was clear to me that Hill was writing his story for himself, and that in turn made his writing suitable for all ages. He didn't talk towards a specific audience, and this allowed me to enjoy the story more. I loved the concept of the oceanic army, and at no point during reading the novel was I bored.

Hill is clearly an author who I hope to see more work from. He has an original voice, and I didn't find his writing to be similar to another author's. I don't like reading books that sound as though they have been done before, and The Conch Shell of Doom is not one of them. It is must read for any science fiction or action fan.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a first time read for me by this author and although it is not my usual genre I really enjoyed this lighthearted book. Bailey is trying to stop his parents from helping bring about the end of the world with his friends and encounters Franklin who is the brother of Trenton, the one trying to be the figure behind the end of the world. What happens next is a series of errors and mistakes while trying to get in Trenton's way and stop him from being 'awakened' to rule the world. I began to feel sorry for Franklin during the story who seems to get a nasty beating in almost every chapter, and I really hated reading what happened to his classic mustang! This is a really good quick read for an 'end of the world' disaster waiting to happen. I would happily pick up any other books that are released in this series in the future.

[Scott Baron · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book during a random search for new material and bought it on a whim. I was impressed in the first chapters. It really grabbed me and pulled me in immediately with interesting characters, fun dialogue, and well-paced scenes. I'd rate the first half of the book four stars, but unfortunately during the second half it seemed to come apart a bit. I'd still recommend it for an amusing read with a good author's voice and style, just be prepared that it loses steam a bit (in my opinion anyway) halfway through.

[shannon Stubbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome

This story was pretty awesome. It had everything I liked: misadventures, awesome fights,scary monsters, and not so perfect heroes. Also I liked the Bart and Sam cameo. I like how they said someone is always trying to take over the world and someone is always trying to save it.