Paul Nelson, a military veteran home from Korea, refuses to stand by and watch Kenneth Pittman, a young man he’s just met, get beat up by a group of teens. After a few chance encounters with Kenneth, Paul questions parts of his identity he’s been trying to suppress, and despite his struggles re-acclimating to civilian life and his personal fears, Paul finds the courage to ask Kenneth on a date. The two then begin a relationship. But in the 1950s, cultural and societal norms threaten openly gay men. Paul and Kenneth can only see each other in secret, and Paul’s new boss, a former investigative journalist and proud bigot, has a habit of meddling in his employees' lives. After tragedy strikes close to home, the two men question whether their slice of happiness is worth the trouble or if safety is more important. After vacationing together in Provincetown, a gay haven, to escape the chaos, they decide to stick it out, only to return to the consequences of being outed to everyone they know. Ultimately, Paul realizes the freedom he fought for should apply to them too, and he must bravely act in defiance of society’s expectations to be with the man he loves.
Paul comes home from Korea to a world that seems the same, but is in very personal ways different from the one he left. His parents both died while he was overseas, leaving him at loose ends, the owner of a big, empty house, with only a brother off in college for family. He has also figured out that he's gay, although he's not quite sure what he'll do about pursuing that. And he has gained more strength to speak up about his hatred for injustice and prejudice, after seeing friends die to preserve freedom.
He stumbles across a man being harassed by local boys for being gay, and although it takes time, that man, Kenneth, becomes his entry into the LGBT world of his hometown. It's a hidden world, meeting in a little bar while ignoring each other in public. And it's precarious, since the whisper of being gay is enough to lose a person their family, job, and home. For Paul, it's the beginning of a journey toward something he only glimpsed once, as a young teen, when a friend kissed him after a trauma. And then never again.
This story is slow and not overly dramatic. The flavor of the time is well-conveyed. There are conflicts and joys, well-told and believable. I wasn't pulled deep into the narrative, until the end. There, at last, the emotion made my throat catch as the arc of time, the changes through recent history, suppressed lives and losses, were powerfully rendered. I enjoyed this 20th century historical for the look back and for the affirmation of progress, with characters I cared about.
I have no idea what book the majority of reviewers read but based on many of them claiming they're familiar with historical fiction but don't read a lot of historical gay romance, I realize the discrepancy comes from them not being familiar with what's on offer in the historical gay romance genre. Also, they claim the author's writing style was incredible and that he immersed them in the time period. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't agree with either of these things. Both the writing style and the time period depiction were done in amateur ways that indicated the author doesn't have a lot of writing experience, particularly within the historical fiction genre.
The writing style contained a lot of common errors that beginner authors have. For example, trying to elevate the prose by using overly formal dialog tags (replied, inquired) that sound pretentious and make readers stumble rather than being a smooth transition into the next sentence. Another example was how the author often described every step of a simple process when that wasn't necessary, like telling us how Paul took out his keys, put them into the lock, turned them and then entered the house.
The author's way of showcasing the 1950s was also done in an amateur way. Rather than choosing specific characters and then showing us those characters' versions of the 1950s, the author took the 'tour guide' approach. Paul would go to many places, like meeting with his friends at a restaurant, going grocery shopping and going to a soda shop and the main reason for these visits was so that the author could describe everything Paul sees or does. This is the equivalent of showing somebody a photo album of images you've collected through your life. It might give you the general feel and flavor of that time/place but that's not a story. I was also disappointed that the dialog didn't sound very 1950s. The author added in a few 1950s era slang terms but the general speech patterns for the characters were generic, which constantly made me forget that this was meant to be historical. I won't pretend to know how to do it differently, but I know that my favorite 1950s historical romances include dialog that constantly remind me that the story is taking place 70 years ago without going overboard.
While there was an attempt to include a romance plotline, the way the author went about it was amateur and demonstrated either their lack of familiarity or lack of interest in the genre. Paul meets Kenneth when the latter is being beat up by boys who are calling him homophobic slurs. Paul intervenes and they chat for a while. This was a really great way for them to meet. What wasn't great was that they randomly bump into each other a short time later and Kenneth strongly hints that he 'knows' Paul is gay. What?!? Paul has never given Kenneth a single hint that he might be gay and they've barely spent time together, so Kenneth coming to this conclusion made no sense. It made even less sense that Kenneth is loudly and openly telling Paul about his gay community related activities (ex. working at a speakeasy-type bar that's a known safe haven for LGBT people) before Kenneth has confirmed that Paul is gay or even an ally. This made no sense for the time period, which threw me for a loop because all the reviews rave about how authentic the author's take on the time period is.
Lastly, the author committed the unforgivable sin (unforgivable according to me) of randomly deaging Paul and having him act like a teenage boy when the author wanted to introduce drama into a scene. Specifically, there's a part where Kenneth decides to randomly hold Paul's hand when they're in public (again - this made no sense for the time period) and Paul freaks out. That's understandable, but instead of angrily jerking his hand away and maybe saying something rude and storming off, Paul reacts like a 12 year old boy. He runs away and bursts into tears while driving home and then flings himself onto his bed and keeps crying. This is a man in his early 20s who just got back a few days ago from fighting in Korea for 18 months.
Nothing about this was working for me and I'm a little surprised and confused by the glowing reviews. In general, I don't seek out historical fiction but I've stumbled across some and even out of that small sample set, many have been much better written (ex. Aqua Follies by Liv Rancourt, Bird Meets Cage by Anyta Sunday). There aren't many 1950s historical gay romances out there anyway but there are a few that do a much better job at portraying the time period while containing a fantastic romance and telling a great story. My recommendations are:
I got drawn into this story because I adore historical fiction. The setting, Boston 1952, was fully accessible to me as I grew up in an urban area listening to my aunts, uncles, and father talk about their cable car adventures and soda shops. Having three uncles and a father who served in the armed forces (between Korea and Vietnam) I was also drawn to the plight of a veteran returning from war.
Paul is confused. He just spent 18 months in Korea, fighting for a purpose he didn't understand. Unlike WWII, the fighting in Korea didn't seem to be Good v. Horrendous Evil. There were lots of gray zones, and it really didn't help that both of his parents died while he was overseas.
His younger brother, Dave, is away at Yale when he returns to their neighborhood via bus. Almost immediately, Paul is drawn into conflict--saving a man from a beating in an alley a few blocks from his home. The streetwise brawlers weren't happy to have their "fairy" prey escape, but Paul is a sturdy man, and still dressed in his army uniform. He prevails. Ken, the man he saved, was thankful, but gruff.
While airing out his empty house, Paul ponders the meaning of the war, and his own conflicted feelings about men and women. He's only been with women, but has never been much attracted to them. In the war, there were men who had relations with other men--always under cover. It was seen as acceptable given that no women were present. But now, here in America, land of the free for which he put his life in the line, Paul doesn't feel so free.
Paul takes a job in the city as a junior editor for a newspaper. His boss is a loudmouthed bigot who rails against women, "darkies" and gays, while having an outrageous office affair with his secretary. His childhood friend, Billy, with whom Paul served in Korea, thinks nothing of running down the homos, especially after a hate crime is committed in a nearby (suspected) gay bar. Clearly, the morality of these people is in conflict with Paul's burgeoning awareness.
Meeting Ken again, and finding acceptance for his amorphous--but clarifying--desires, puts Paul in harm's way back on home soil. His boss is suspicious, Billy is confused at Paul's "freedom for everyone" stance and Dave...well, Dave starts to poke around. Especially when Paul takes Ken in as a "boarder."
Paul, for his part, is filled with righteous indignation. He fought for freedom, but can't be free to love the way that he wants. He gets a brief taste of freedom when he and Ken travel to Provincetown for a long weekend to write a travel review for his paper. There, the community is gay-friendly--having been settled by free-loving artists and bohemians. It is almost too good to be true, in fact. The differences between the life Paul wants to lead and the one society is pressing upon him are too great for him to stand.
I really liked this. The quietly-building romance is tender. Paul takes a lot of time to consider his feelings. He makes mistakes, and he makes amends. He deals with the toxic people in his life, and he finds the courage to be who he really is--finding people who will support him. There was a twist at the end that nearly killed me, as a reader, but the epilogue earned my heart back.
The gorgeous cover by Reese Dante caught my eye and the story inside didn't disappoint. I found this to be a slow (in a good way), very detailed and well written story with descriptions that easily transport you back in time. Memory is a sweet romance without all the hot and heavy stuff. Not every book needs that and I certainly didn't miss it here. It's a lovely tale of two men finding each other in a time when it was very difficult to be gay. When one of them works for a bigoted idiot things don't get any easier.
Doug Lloyd wonderfully set up this story, introducing Paul Nelson, telling me so much in the first two pages without feeling muddled or bogged down in detail. I was already curious, having been grabbed by the time in which this story takes place, which is 1952. Actually, grabbed is not the right word. It was like he invited me to take a seat on a bench, warmed by the sunshine, and told me he had this story he wanted to tell.
Paul and his younger brother Dave have been through a lot in the last eighteen months, yet their relationship maintains its anchoring ability. They’re respectful of each other, supportive, and they definitely make sure to engage in the kind of ribbing that brothers do.
Without being overwrought or heavy-handed, Lloyd realistically portrays Paul and how it was for so many soldiers returning from the early years of the Korean conflict, especially after a year and a half deployed. The difficulty in finding work, trying to live in the present while constantly tugged backwards into the past, feeling like you’ve moved beyond or onto a different path than most of your friends, all of them challenges Paul wanted to overcome. Above all else, he’s survived war, fighting for freedom overseas but not given that same freedom in which to live when he’s home.
There’s an understated power in Lloyd’s storytelling. Nothing bombastic or overly dramatic, but there’s no mistaking his confidence and the story he wants to tell.
Coupled with that low hum of power is an unavoidable and unsurprising layer of sadness, mixed with frustration. Lies. The need to lie in order to avoid unearned violence and unfairness, in order to survive, all in effort to gain some much deserved happiness, to feel whole and alive, it informs so many decisions. It’s funny, knowing what I do now, having read the entire story, I really should have put two and two together. Kinda cool that I didn’t, though. I went along with it all.
One of my own initial reactions was interesting and caused a slight head tilt, at myself. One of the supporting characters in this story provides some unexpected assistance – covering for Paul, not telling people about him and Kenneth – and I asked myself, would that have really happened? But, of course, it would have, and it did. All throughout the history of us human types, there have always been those who helped, who cared, who tried to ease the fear, danger, and stress from having to be secretive about the truth. There have always been people like me, and you. People who knew what felt right and acted upon that feeling. The characters themselves have a few similar, if brief, conversations about this very thing.
There were points where the story wandered pointedly (is that an oxymoron? LOL) into the political. It’s probably unavoidable having been written now, surrounded by the particular politics of our time. However, if this hadn’t been included, the story would have lacked some believability. Too heavy on reality? I honestly couldn’t decide. I think this is one of those things intended to make us ponder.
Kenneth, the man Paul meets as soon as he’s arrived home, and his motivations are slowly unfurled, his history and experiences quite different than Paul’s. Then again, there are some things they have in common as if they’d been walking down the same street together all of the years before they even laid eyes on each other. When they do begin to experience life together, they have some understandably different reactions. It was beautiful to experience. They have chemistry, they struggle with accepting themselves and each other, wavering and then surging forward. Their collective confidence and strength grow as time goes on.
There were some parts that would have benefitted from more development and time spent. Several scenes and payoffs were undercut by the swift movement of the story, almost leaving them behind. I was left with questions, wondering how one character reacted, what would the conversation had been like, what happened next?
At barely half way through this book, I stopped taking notes. I was inside this world, this neighborhood, loving some characters and wanting to grrrrrrrrr at others, needing to see how things were going to turn out. I gotta say, I think I’m kinda blown away. The ending was both a gut-punch and threatened to explode my heart with happiness.
I recommend this book and I recommend this author. I hope he writes more. I’ll read it.
At the time of posting this review, I finished the book a week ago... it's still with me, still replaying scenes in my mind. So good.
I thoroughly enjoyed this beautiful debut by Doug Lloyd! Memory is at once a beautiful love story, and a powerful story of bravery and being true to who you are, even in the face of bigotry and hatred. I truly enjoyed it – cover to cover. There were times – especially after a longer stretch of being more political – that I thought it could use a bit more ‘oomph’. But overall, the writing is very tight, and the character development was wonderful. No spoilers, but I will say that I went back and reread the last couple of chapters after I finished; they were that good. I was actually wiping tears from my cheeks as I read the final chapter. There is no doubt that the author has a talent for storytelling. I hope to be seeing more about his future endeavors!!
This debut novel is about the time when a gay romance was far from romantic, it was dangerous.
Lloyd sets his love story against the backdrop of the early 1950s. They were good times if you happened to be straight, white and male. For everyone else, it was a struggle.
Returning Korean war veteran Paul makes a journey of discovery, learning to be true to himself in spite of the severe restrictions of the era, learning about life and love from Kenneth, who would be the love of his life.
I admit, I'm not much of a romance fan, but I did enjoy this one.
It's a lovely, very kind and warm book that reads a bit like a fairy tale, in a good way. I enjoyed it absolutely. For one thing, I love upstanding young men for characters, and Paul is exactly like that, strong, brave and GOOD. I was a bit doubtful one could really be this open-minded in 1950s but since it is the story as Paul remembers it, it makes sense that he might have remembered it a bit though the pink glasses. And all historical details of everyday life were delicious. Oh yes, and the book cover is one of the best and most appropriate I've ever seen in this genre.