101 Things to Definitely Not Do if You Want to Get a Chick

by Will Forte

From the creator and star of Fox's hit comedy The Last Man on Earth , star of the cult film Macgruber , and beloved Saturday Night Live alum, a hilariously absurd cartoon gift book offering a wry commentary on modern relationships.

In this outrageously funny and oddly wise guide to relationships, forty-five-year-old bachelor Will Forte shares his bulletproof advice for attracting-and retaining-a romantic partner of the fairer sex. Told in the form of 101 hand-drawn rules of thumb, the book takes on all the questions men are dying to know the answers to but are too afraid to What activities are acceptable and not acceptable to do with a romantic interest's father? What animals, if any, should never be incorporated into foreplay? Should I claim to have collaborated with a famous poet? Combining wisdom, both practical and not, with idiosyncratic drawings so simple that even a romantically frustrated man-child could understand them, 101 Things to Definitely Not Do If You Want to Get a Chick gracefully answers these questions and ninety-eight others.

Genres: Humor, Graphic Novels, Cartoon

208 pages, Paperback

Published October 25, 2016

Reviews

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

By this point you should be well aware of the fact that I am infatuated with Jeff Goldblum. That being said, it probably won’t come as a real shock to any of you that I’m quite smitten with Will Forte as well and he also resides on my “5 List” (in case you are too young to have watched Friends aren’t familiar with that vernacular – they are the five celebrities you are allowed to cheat on your spouse/significant other with and suffer zero repercussions for being a shameless hussy). When I saw that he had a book (a year after it was published because I suck) I was like . . . .



It’s a bummer I don’t enjoy Last Man On Earth more than I do, but I blame it on the oh-so-hilarious in animated form . . . .



Yet ever-so-annoying in human form . . . .



Kristen Schaal instead because (in my humble opinion) Will Forte is an underestimated talent. From his early beginnings as a writer for the Jenny McCarthy show (she was funny before she became an anti-vaxxer) and Letterman to his tenure on SNL where maybe he wasn’t responsible for writing all of my favorite skits . . . .


(Sudakis wrote that, in case you’re just chomping at the bit to know.)

I’m fairly certain he was responsible for taking it to the next level . . . .



Even on my favorite 30 Rock, Forte stole the show . . . .



This little book is probably godawful to most people, but as Will says himself . . . .

“These are basically the first jokes I ever wrote. Just think of them as a snapshot of my brain at the age of twenty-four.”

If you’re a gal or guy who swoons at this sappy little commercial . . . .



These might not be the doodles for you. That’s okay, though, because I enjoyed them enough for everyone. Here’s a little sample of the ones that made me snort-laugh (proving once again I have the sense of humor of a prepubescent boy) . . . .











(My apologies for the "pictures of pictures" delivery - I had zero idea what this book was before I requested it and definitely would not have opted for the Kindle version if I had known it was cartoons. But hey, at least my nails were pretty.)

I was going to give this 3 Stars but I know for a fact tomorrow evening when my husband and I have “date night” I’m going to make him go to the Barnes & Noble and drop ten bucks so I can own a copy of this little bit of nonsense so 4 Stars it is.

[Erica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why?

Just...why?

I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be funny, maybe wryly so, and I know that I completely lack any sense of humor at all so I'm already at a disadvantage, but I think many people who do have great senses of humor will still be nonplussed by this little offering of tongue-in-cheek dating advice. I suspect this book probably speaks to a very specific type of amuseability. I'd blame those millennial hipsters but Will Forte is my age so that argument won't fly.

Some of the suggestions are actual things that you should actually not do, whether or not you're trying to "get a chick." For instance, "Never take board games too seriously" is good advice for everyone who is not a professional competitive board-gamer. But all those things about dads (don't make out with her dad when you first meet him, don't harpoon her dad, don't put a Park Here For Free sign in the back of her dad's neck) and parents (don't maliciously pour soft drinks on them, don't tell them who you are when you prank call them, etc), those are things you shouldn't be doing to anyone. It makes me worry for those possibly abused Forte parents because these sound like things maybe Ol' Will did as a child and got in a lot of trouble for and is now extrapolating that if his childhood antics pissed off his parents, they'll certainly piss off other parents so maybe don't do them if you're trying to get people and their parents to like you?

The illustrations are juvenile, like something copied from the New Yorker by a ten-year-old. That's probably the point but...I dunno. I sort of felt like I was being given weird comics from that one kid I should have ignored but didn't and because I laughed appreciatively at one of his "funnies," I now receive a new one every day, probably the result of at least ten minutes worth of brainstorming between him and his little brothers while they were hiding in the basement from angry parents.

So read this with a grain of salt. If you love it, that's great. I hope you write a stellar review, one I won't understand because I have no sense of humor.

P.S.
Dear Jennifer Carter,
I am sorry for the crap you've had to witness. If you need to come over for a glass of wine and some commiseration, I'm here for you.

P.P.S.
There are instances where giving someone blood for Christmas is considered kind and loving. Like, I'd totally date you if you gave me ALL OF GABE'S BLOOD for Christmas.
Also, I have considered digging tunnels from my house to the houses of other people so that would not be a deal-breaker at all. And talking clean to me over the phone is a delightful change of pace and if you're trying to get with a person who thinks sex is gross, this is a sure way to win their affection.
Annnddd...I have had a first date joke about a bed being where he'd father our children. I still went out with him a few times after that. It didn't work out for reasons that had nothing to do with his threats of making me have children.
I'm just saying, the "never" part of this Do-Not list maybe should be revised to "It's probably unwise" because there's always that one person who wouldn't mind if you named your boat after their mother.

[Lissie Balog · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Will Forte. I find him hilarious. His delivery with any joke and his voice just gets to me every time. This book is 100% silly but I laughed so hard. If you’re ever feeling like you’re in a funk, just read a couple of the jokes in this book and you’ll feel better. Seriously. If you’re a fan at all of The Last Man on Earth or MacGruber then you’ll love this book.

[Ajit Mathew · Rating 2 out of 5]

Neither funny nor useful.

[Sayantani Dasgupta · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first read the title "101 Things to Definitely Not Do If You Want to Get a Chick," I thought it was going to be an obnoxious self-help book. But then I caught the name of the author (Will Forte) and that the blurbs are by Amy Poehler and Tina Fey among others. I am familiar with Forte from the movie Nebraska, which I absolutely loved. Now, having finished this book of his cartoons, I can easily say, I am so glad it exists. Beware...some are laugh out loud funny, some ridiculous, some dumb.

[Paula]

Thanks to Goodreads and Hachette for a free copy of 101 Things to Definitely Not Do If You Want To Get A Chick.

I really wanted to like this book. It got such rave reviews from the likes of Martin Short, Tina Fey and David Letterman, to name a few. I guess I'm just not the intended audience because after reading the whole book, I didn't find it remotely funny, not even one page.

Because I am female, middle aged, and apparently have no sense of humour, I've decided that it wouldn't be fair for me to give it a rating. I don't want to discourage people that might truly appreciate this brand of humour from picking up a copy.

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this in a first reads give away. All I can say is hilarious! I was giggling to myself through the entire book! I recommend this to everyone and anyone who wants a good laugh. Also-I definitely don't recommend doing any of these things to try to get a chick :)

[Courtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

Repetitive, uninspired, only 1 made me laugh (which would technically be less than 1%).


I knew the name 'Will Forte' was familiar, but had forgotten exactly who he was, and when I looked him up, I realized, 'oh no, if only I had checked before I picked up the book.'

It's not my humor.

[Wendy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I assume it was supposed to be humorous, but I didn't find that the case for majority of them. Definitely not my taste of humor.

Received as Goodreads Giveaway.

[Tristan Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Completely bizarre and my easiest read of the year (decade?), but there's some good advice in here

[Luisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea at all. I didn't find the cartoons funny at all. I found some of them in bad taste. that being said this book would appeal to those that like dark humor and comedy.

[Ietrio · Rating 1 out of 5]

At the last page I was not sure what disgusted me more: the terribly ugly drawings or the stupid ideas.

[Beckiezra · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5? The one-liners and bad drawings didn’t really do anything for me though I may have considered cracking a smile occasionally. If anything I sometimes thought the ideas to avoid would be amusing for a guy to actually try. His obsession with girlfriend’s parents was a bit much. I think this is great for fans of Will Forte, if I knew his work more I might feel more attached to this book. I appreciated that it was a quick read and the one comic per page format was easy to read, though leaving the opposite page blank seemed like a bit of a waste of paper.

[Zahirah · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all I am a big fan of Will Forte so I may be a bit biased but I do love this collection. Just like what Forte said in the foreword “some are too offensive. Some too violent. Some just flat out aren’t very funny” which is true but I enjoyed them all.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Odd childish drawings that are nostalgically charming. Weird totally off the wall ways to repel chicks. Funny strange. The sort of stuff you would laugh over with a friend in middle school but aren’t so clever or funny as I wanted them to be.

[Leah · Rating 1 out of 5]

What an annoying read. There were a few that gave me a smile, but the rest of this book is forgettable, mainly it was disconcerting.

[Mckinley Elliott · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting look into the mind of Will Forte, creator of the television series "Last Man on Earth."

I truly felt like I needed a "margarita pool" after reading this.

[Shao Yang · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as funny as the title suggested... More like cold jokes...

[Marissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a fan of Will. This book, not so much.

[Jeff · Rating 1 out of 5]

All you need to know about this book is that Will Forte wrote it as a single man at the edge of 24 in 1994 and was still single at the of forty-six when it was published.

[Will Ashton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing!

[Anna Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite are the ones that actually border on real advice, like, "Don't take board games too seriously."

[Adam Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolute absurdity at its finest. Read the whole thing in maybe an 30-45 minutes. I keep it on my coffee table as my coffee table book. Just so silly in the best way.

[annabel · Rating 4 out of 5]

will forte, bay area hero

[Wiel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Letterman described this book as “the perfect book. Silly-dumb, easy to read, and funny,” and who are you to argue with him? Also Will Forte is not just a comedic genius, but an all-around genius. He taught me to never keep it a secret that I have a dog’s head growing out the back of my head.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I gave this to my single brother as a Christmas present and read it over the holidays. It was amusing, but very odd and not quite my brand of humor. The situations that Forte presents are absolutely ridiculous and some are hilarious. Many are just disturbing.
That being said, my other brother was very excited that Will Forte had written a book. My dad read it and was laughing the entire time. Unfortunately, the brother I gave the book to was not very amused upon receiving it. Hopefully his mind will change when he reads it.

[Suzanne Sotzing · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is something you can peruse and finish quickly...but that's the point. These "Things" that you're not supposed to do to "Get a Chick" are so outlandish that they border on lunacy. Again, probably the point. As a woman, I found a few of these to be funny. My boyfriend, however, was rolling on the floor with tears spouting from his eyes from laughter. He thought each page was absolutely HILARIOUS! Me...more of an eh...

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was hilarious and totally my type of humor. I wasn't surprised because I love pretty much anything Will Forte does. I also got this book for my brother and my ex-husband for Christmas. They both liked it just as much as I did.

[Robert Rich · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun, breezy read from the the former SNL cast member and star of "The Last Man on Earth." The humor is just as outlandish and silly as you'd expect from Will Forte, but if you like him, you'll like the book.

[Ruth · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was very odd.