In Full Color: Finding My Place in a Black and White World

by Rachel Dolezal, Storms Reback

A lot of people have made up their minds about Rachel Doležal. But none of them know her real story.

In June 2015, the media “outed” Rachel Doležal as a white woman who had knowingly been “passing” as Black. When asked if she were African American during an interview about the hate crimes directed at her and her family, she hesitated before ending the interview and walking away. Some interpreted her reluctance to respond and hasty departure as dishonesty, while others assumed she lacked a reasonable explanation for the almost unprecedented way she identified herself.

What determines your race? Is it your DNA? The community in which you were raised? The way others see you or the way you see yourself?

With In Full Color, Rachel Doležal describes the path that led her from being a child of white evangelical parents to an NAACP chapter president and respected educator and activist who identifies as Black. Along the way, she recounts the deep emotional bond she formed with her four adopted Black siblings, the sense of belonging she felt while living in Black communities in Jackson, Mississippi, and Washington, DC, and the experiences that have shaped her along the way.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Race, Biography, Psychology, Autobiography, Politics

304 pages, Hardcover

First published April 13, 2017

Reviews

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time)]

I have no interest in this book, but I am disgusted at the gleefully gloating conservatives who are saying "well, if a boy can turn into a girl, then why is this wrong." Being transgender is *not* the same thing. Period.

*edited to add*

This article says so much of what is wrong about this book.

http://www.thestranger.com/features/2...

[E · Rating 1 out of 5]

Edit to add: For an even better, more incisive and excoriatingly truthful take on Rachel Dolezal, please read this: http://www.thestranger.com/features/2...


Apparently in this book, Rachel Dolezal compares doing her chores as a kid to chattel slavery...





Look Rachel, I think you have serious issues that you need to get taken care of. And as for whoever published this book: you should be ashamed of yourselves.

I find it very fitting that this book has 2 stars on Amazon so far, but do think that anyone who gives it more than 1 star needs to adjust their critical thinking cap. I think this review says it all: https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-re...

Good job, readers.

[Michael · Rating 1 out of 5]

Prior to reading this book, I was familiar with Dolezal story. I watched a few interviews about her identifying herself as black and really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I am aware of the many jokes that people told about her and the many memes that resulted in her saying she was black. While I don't think anyone should be bullied for anything, I seriously want to smack Rachel into common sense.

Race is socially constructed but it is the PHYSICAL characteristics of a person. The entire time reading I wanted to just shake her. Who the hell cares if you were little that you preferrred to write with dark colors? Who the hell cares that your boyfriend in college said that you did not act white? What does that even mean to 'act white'? There is no such thing, that is a perception that is flawed by many people who are so ignorant to not research what it means. Okay you admire the African American culture, as I do admire the Asian culture.but am I Asian? NO! I never grew up with them, I don't know the struggles or the accomplishments that they faced. All her life she has been living as a white woman, so now all a sudden I am suppose to embrace you as Black? YOU ARE NOT BLACK! How about me trying to bleach my skin white? History itself proves that Blacks are disadvantaged over Whites before and AFTER slavery. It still goes on. There are still white supremacist out there, whether they are overt or not. There is still discrimination for being Black and look at the police brutality. Not ALL whites do this but you cannot deny the stats that are all across this nation. If I was pulled over, do I get to tell the police "Oh sorry officer, I identify myself as White, so I get a pass. Um no, that is not how the law works, and who is to to say that the policeman is not out to get me cause of the color of my skin! To top if off, YOU LIED throughout your testimony. Your parents say that you are lying, your relatives say you are lying... so you cannot be trusted..you wanted the power but you had none.

Oh and spare me about you being caught off guard about the question about being an African American..you know exactly what you were being asked, you did not have an answer cause you were LYING!

This book angered and frustrated the hell out of me. I don't mind you being appreciative of the black culture but until you have experienced it, shut the hell up!'

* Above is not my opinion about all racial or ethic groups but some that have been degraded in the name of race and culture*

[Patrice Hoffman · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the interest of full disclosure, I did not finish In Full Color: Finding My Place in a Black and White World. I hate even having to read it, then rate it without following through. When I don't finish a book, no matter how badly I want to, I can't help but feel as if I failed the writer. After all, the author did take their time to tell a story, get it edited, and bravely put it out there to be scrutinized. What could possibly be scarier and here comes someone like me, a so-called reviewer, doesn't even finish the book and has the nerve to give it a rating.

Yeah! I'm looking at you people who didn't even read this book... or get at least 67% in as I did and still felt that it was ok to leave a 1-star rating just because you don't like her. Shame on you.

So... shame on me too right? Of course... but for an entirely different reason.

Yes my 2-star rating adds to the fray of poor ratings for this title, but at least I gave it a go. I at least fired up my Kindle in the hopes of providing an honest review for my Advanced Readers Copy. I remember being so excited when I was approved through Netgalley to review because I was/am one of the few black people who remained untainted by feelings of rage or disgust for this woman. I actually didn't understand why the black community was so up in arms...

After reading a little more than half of In Full Color, I too was a little... upset.

Rachel Dolezal opens up to us by sharing her upbringing with us. Dolezal had it rough. I won't deny that. She recounts her childhood living in a home of fanatical Christians who subjected her to hard labor and abuse no child (or person) should ever have to endure...

Let me stop there because I'd like to mention how her parents, Larry and Ruthanne (whom she never refers to as Mom or Dad) were devout Christian Fundamentalists that Dolezal paints as the most ruthless pair of dotes ever. They made their children work as soon as they could walk. Not only did they subject them to hours in the fields in order to keep the family business running, they treated Rachel like the illustration her name signified.

I was all ears. Reading her story made me sympathize with her. I even gave her a benefit of a doubt when she admits that as a child, she drew her self in darker shade after having been introduced to people of color through National Geographic. I figured, ok, just because a white child's favorite princess is Tiana, she doesn't necessarily identify as a black princess. It just is what it is...

But when she likened her experience (not in totality) to slavery, my eyes rolled. I mean... really rolled. Yes, Dolezal's childhood was fucked up. Her parents were fucked. And remained that way the entirety of what I read, but slavery, servitude, and her experience still remain very far apart on the spectrum of relativity. DCFS existed. There were teachers to tell. Sure, I know it's not that simple or black and white, but come on.

After having survived that one hiccup, Rachel Dolezal continues to tell her story. And, I was still very much so interested. Essentially, I was hoping to be the one review in a sea of 1-stars to give In Full Color at least a 3-star rating. I still believed myself to be on the fence, maintaining an open mind to this woman and her journey to becoming... no... identifying as "black".

Before going to college, her parents adopted three black children in the hopes of supplementing their income. As a teen, who already loved blacks and their culture, pretty much raised them and tried to protect them from her parents. She learned to braid their hair, teach them of their history (since Montana was lacking in diversity), and coaxed them through racist happenings (both apparent and beautifully cloaked) brought on by her parents and the primarily white community they lived in.

Part of me began to think that she suffered from an extreme case of white guilt and she needed to be our white hope. The other part believed that she really did see herself as an oppressed person and history has proven over and over again that no one can be more oppressed than the black American.

In college, she was accepted by the few blacks there were and even married a black man. She had a black son... and adopted another... I'm grazing over these parts because I get it. As a youth, I wasn't that cool. I talked "white", was a nerd who loved to read, did not have the cool clothes, and the only friends who accepted me wholeheartedly were white kids. Up until 7th grade, my best friends were white and it didn't bother me that I wasn't accepted by other black children.

Sorry, I must digress... with two weeks left in 7th grade, my 8th grade cousin was killed. He was wildly popular in his middle school and all of a sudden I was accepted in the black crowd. My point in mentioning this is because I was finally accepted by people who looked like me. I was amongst people who shared the same idols I did. Heroes that had our same skin color such as Whitney Houston and Patti Labelle. I found another me that had been suppressed for a long time. A me that didn't have to sugar coat the story of the Best Buy manager following me throughout the store or how I was constantly asked "can I help you?". Many chalk that up to great customer service. The children who now accepted me knew better.

That's why I had to stop with Rachel Dolezal and her tale of woe. I'm sure loving black culture is in her heart and she doesn't mean to ignite such... hate towards her. But I also see someone who hasn't found herself or what she's looking for.

What I've learned in the last few months after having put this book down, and reading comments on any news article with a hint of racial bias is: being black is not something you wear. It's not a kinky, curly fro you place atop your head in an effort to mask your true identity. Being black, African American in this country is not some cloak that magically disappears when the time is right. If that were the case, there would be no Philando Castile, or a "Black Lives Matter" campaign. We blacks don't need a great white hope, nor do we want to wallow in our own woe-is-me tale. Obviously, no one is listening. They say get over it. Slavery ended... get over it. You had Affirmative Action so get over it. Even the "thug" rappers or "lazy" athletes that disrespect our anthem are making millions. Just GET OVER IT already!

What's most insulting about Rachel Dolezal is that she can move freely between the color identity she wakes up that morning feeling unlike the blacks she identifies with. I get that she was hoping to start a discussion about being trans-racial but no matter how white I feel or identify being, I simply, could not ever, possibly be white. My melanin doesn't allow it. The greatest performer in ever, Michael Jackson, tried and failed miserably. When he died, he was seen as at least a black man.

Copy provided by Benbella Books via Netgalley

[RachelW (BamaGal) · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a sniveling mess of a book; pure drivel...a pity party. This is a white woman who was raised in a middle class household, who pretended to be black to further her career. Period. She didn't 'sympathize'...she outright lied for years to go to Howard College on a black (full) scholarship; and move up the job ladder, right up until she was caught. Now she says she claimed she was black because she 'felt' black. The African American community is rightfully outraged at her actions and words.

I'm glad this was a review arc. I would hate to think that I put money in her pockets. I won't even go into her descriptions of her sexual escapades, and how she compared doing her chores as a child to how the slaves felt about slavery. Sick, sick puppy...

[Anita Dalton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wrote a massive analysis of this book over on Odd Things Considered. I wrote six articles analyzing the book, and it's far too long to try to reproduce over here. I was deeply interested in how it is that Rachel was trying to explain herself in this book and ended up painting such a negative portrait of herself that I am baffled that this book ever got published. This memoir is so lacking in self-awareness that it beggars belief. So if you are interested in an extremely wordy analysis of a woman I find fascinating, check out one or possibly all six of the articles about Dolezal's book.

Part One discusses how Rachel's fundamentalist upbringing, coupled with childhood abuse of herself and her adopted black siblings, created in her an affiliation with blackness and black culture.

Part Two discusses Rachel's status as a permavictim and how she also victimized her children with the hate crimes she staged against herself.

Part Three discusses Rachel's use of weasel words and bizarre justifications for her behavior and her behavior as a self-impressed asshole.

Part Four discusses how Rachel sees black people as an exotic "other" and how she behaves as a white savior even as she derides such sentiments.

Part Five discusses how Rachel relies on racism to explain why she was so disliked even before she was outed and how she doesn't seem to really know who or what she is.

Part Six discusses how Rachel was a force of danger for black people and how she will never get why people think what she did is wrong.

[Please Pass the Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since the news first broke of a Spokane white woman purposefully positioning herself as black, Rachel Dolezal has been the person we all love to hate. Like most others, I followed the story closely and absorbed arguments on both sides. I don't feel qualified to try and rationalize her actions or make any type of defense for her, and as a (mostly) white woman who has had the benefit of privilege in my life, neither do I feel truly able to comprehend the degree of anger, frustration, and hurt her actions have brought to POC. What I do feel—and what I've always felt for her—is confusion and embarrassment. My embarrassment comes chiefly in the form of empathy, only in the way that her revealing was forced into the limelight. It's the same embarrassment I'd feel if any of my old, dirty family secrets were splashed across the front of a newspaper (especially if they were really, really dirty—which some, sadly, are). I feel this way because I'm a sympathetic woman, but that sympathy also extends to the raw and legitimate testimony of POC who rally against her. Their disdain is valid and I refuse to trivialize credible resentment toward her.

But what I am qualified to do is review a book based on its literary merit, and that is what I intend to do here.

The book begins with a thorough review of Dolezal's upbringing, which is heartbreaking. She makes clear that an identity crisis was brewing from the day she was born, a day in which her birth nearly killed her mother. The abuses that followed to herself and her siblings at the hands of their parents made me physically ill. The writing is tight, clean, and direct, with Dolezal narrating in a straightforward manner. As she grows and leaps deeper into a pool of disorientation, she appears to find strength in her passions: African art, history, and civil rights issues. There are some moments in the book where she's definitely patting her own back for her accomplishments, but given where she's come from—from a literary perspective—it doesn’t come off as terribly egotistical. On the contrary, if she was anyone else it would be a wonderful story of perseverance and hope. But it's not anyone else. It's Rachel Dolezal, and the name alone makes it incredibly difficult to move past.

I wouldn’t recommend In Full Color to those who weren't thoroughly interested in psychology, or to those who don't enjoy reading for the sake of an interesting story. I am perfectly comfortable reading the biographies of people I disapprove of personally, and as far as biographies go this is an uncomfortably fascinating one.

Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance review copy and requesting my opinion on this book.

[Tai King · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I first heard her story of course I just absolutely was not having it. But I was compelled to read her book because, as a researcher, I had to hear the story in her own words (or Storms Rebacks' words). Transracial is definitely not a "thing" unless it refers to adoptive children with guardians of another race, like her brothers and sisters.

This is my opinion (if you don't plan on reading the book, you can read these spoilers): From a young age, Dolezal felt unwanted and unappreciated by her family and by the children at her school. She was missing out on love and felt empty. I guess she began to read/learn of Black struggles and identified with them. The fact that she felt like working on her parents farm was similar to working as a slave on a plantation was baffling but I expected these upsets. When her parents adopted Black babies and Rachel had to care for them, the babies showed her the love she had been missing her whole life. That's when I feel like she really started thinking she was Black.

Childhood traumas and a lack of love are the cause of her "Black identity" but it's funny (query) because she only knows the Black perspective from the outside looking in. She does not, nor will she ever know what it's truly like to be Black in America; the good, the bad, and the ugly. She'll never know the unexplainable. She is not Black. I will never see her as Black. I will never call her a Black woman. There is nothing that she could ever tell me about being a Black woman in America. She has a biracial son and Black siblings. That's it. At most she is a white ally but I can barely call her that now. By the way, I borrowed this from my library. I did not waste my money.

Read the reviews from her colleagues and compare them to what you've read in the book.

[Michelle Hahn-Baker · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yes, I actually read this book. And yes, it actually sucked.

To preface this, let me explain why I read it - this summer, I’ve decided to read things that reflect perspectives other than my own, viewpoints that I might previously have disagreed with or condemned. This is in an effort to challenge myself and my own opinions, and I guess to expand my own horizons. In Full Colour is the first book I’m reading in this series.

(As a side note, I’m checking all the books out of the library, because there’s no way I’m giving money to these people.)

When Rachel Dolezal first made the news in 2015, I found her explanations as ridiculous as most other people did. So, to be fair I went into this reading with bias against her. But it would difficult to read this book and not question Dolezal’s Black identification. I would have a hard time criticizing her passion for social justice or even her affinity for Black culture, but this public identification is concerning. Even if we assume that Dolezal’s wasn’t just motivated by money or professional advancement, she seems at best to have followed a contentious logic.

A lot of people have been able to articulate the problematic social issues of Dolezal’s Black identification. As they have already done so far more capably than I could, I won’t touch on those here. However, I will note that most of these arguments made are completely justifiable, although you wouldn’t know that from reading Dolezal. Only in passing does she even allude to specific critiques, which she then dismisses as either racist or personally degrading.

Coming from an academic who has worked at length in forums that support discussion of race and race relations, this lack of reflection seems ridiculous. Furthermore, on the rare occasions that Dolezal does offer brief reflections, she offers inconsistent and sometimes troublesome self-defences. For example, she sometimes denounces the comparisons made between her Black identification and transgender identification; at other times, she alludes to the comparisons herself.

Yes, a lot of Dolezal’s activism should be applauded, but reading this book has made it even harder for me to believe in her selflessness. Honestly, her memoir reads like the musings of a confused narcissist. While Dolezal sometimes suggests that she recognizes that questions about her self-identification are, at least to some degree, valid, she often mocks and dismisses the questions of specific journalists and individuals. She makes it seem like the most rational critiques have come from an ignorant, Euro-centric view of white-good/Black-bad. Take this account of a television appearance she made:

“When the hosts asked me to admit that I was white and I acknowledged that, yes, I was born to white parents, the audience cheered wildly. When I went on to explain that I identified as Black, they booed. The all-too familiar blight of American society had reared its ugly head once again: applause for whiteness and jeers for Blackness.”

In Full Colour is also hard to get through for the simple reason that’s its not a very good book. It often seems vapidly narcissistic, as Dolezal spends chapters lamenting her childhood and criticizing her parents. Granted, she seems to have had a shitty childhood and possibly deserves a margin of pity, but the breadth of the underhanded personal attacks she makes is frankly childish. (Side note: I have to believe the allegations she makes against her brother Josh. Therefore, I think that the particular attacks against him are actually warranted, even if they are often poorly presented.)

Frequently, Dolezal segues off in bizarre tangents, briefly summarizing issues in Black history or culture. In another context, a lot of this might have been interesting to read - I’d go so far as to say that a lot of it should be necessary reading. However, I hesitate to trust the information Dolezal provides. Yes, she has several relevant credits to her name, and I am by no means an expert in Black history, but even I noticed an error she made:

In one of her asides, Dolezal mentions how Princess Tiana became Disney’s first Black Princess four years after her family adopted her younger sister. Only, this in no way fits with the timeline she has provided for the rest of the book, as her family must have adopted Esther sometime in the nineties and Tiana didn’t appear before 2009. Yes, this is a small detail, but it’s also so basic that I have to wonder what else Dolezal got wrong. And it doesn’t help that there’s not a single footnote in the entire book.

Apart from their questionable factuality, the presentation of these asides is also troubling; it seems that Dolezal uses them to distract the reader and to imply that critiques of her Black identity are inherently racist. She also compares events in Black history with her own experiences, seemingly to garner pity and often in wholly inappropriate ways: she actually compare doing her chores as a child with slavery.

In the book jacket, Dolezal affirms that “to truly understand somehow, you need to hear her whole story.” Well, I listened to the whole thing, and I still think she’s in the wrong.

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I don't like Rachel Dolezal.

Despite my personal misgivings, I am a knowledge-seeker so when the opportunity to read Ms. Dolezal's book presented itself, I took it. I even went into the venture with an open mind, ready to hear her side of things before passing judgment. Unfortunately, reading the book only solidified my feelings that Ms. Dolezal lives in a world of her own creation and feels persecuted by those outside of it (which is nearly everyone).

I will say that Dolezal had a horrific childhood and endured more than any child should. However, some of the claims in her book leave me dumbfounded. She highlights growing up in rural Montana where there were no black children. She didn't even know such a person existed until she was given a National Geographic magazine as a young teen. Yet at the same time she knew she was inherently black. She compares doing manual labor on her family farm to being a chattel slave which is preposterous. This goes on and on throughout the book and rather than presenting a well-rounded view of society, it comes off as whiney and at times delusional.

Regardless of whether Dolezal is delusional is beside the point here. What the book does present is a well-rounded view of her experience. I was able to see exactly how she came to believe what she does and it is clear that her identity crisis started from a very young age. Her story is a very interesting psychological study in that sense this is a very good read.

Storms Reback is the only saving grace in this whole thing as the book is actually very well written. I've argued before that good writing can make a terrible book readable and it holds true for this one as well. I wouldn't have finished it otherwise. Rather than paying for the book, just read some news stories on Dolezal and you'll have all you need to understand her.

[Corvus · Rating 1 out of 5]

No.

[Phil Dynan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 2015 Rachel Dolezal, a mother, activist and teacher was “outed” as being “white”, although she had a long history of identifying more with Black culture than white culture. This book traces the life of this extraordinary person as she explains how she got to that moment in 2015 when a TV reporter asked her if she was “white or Black”, starting an avalanche of controversy that has resulted in an international discussion of “race identity”.

Whether you have a negative or positive opinion of Dolezal, the story of her childhood as described in this book is captivating. I could relate to parts of it, but definitely much of it is from a world I knew nothing about. It is interesting and genuine. It is also somewhat painful to read and while I felt tears welling up at some passages, it wasn’t just sadness for this person, but for the universality of the horrible things that some people will do to their own children.

Early on, Dolezal says that her great-grandmother possessed qualities that she would come to admire, including “independence, creativity and willpower.”  This passage is essential to understanding the Artist Rachel Dolezal and the path she would follow. These are not necessarily traits that will make a person “likeable”, they are traits that will make a person strong and whole. They are essential traits for someone who wants to be an Artist.

And being an artist, whether the author realizes it or not, is perhaps the most important part of her life. Through her art she has power that is not subject to the petty criticisms and misgivings she has had to endure for her culture preference. She has been able to express that preference and her interests in Black history through her art. Like most artists, she is society-fluid – able to communicate with the poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich. She can easily move from one segment of society to another with more ease as an artist than trying to move from “white to Black” as an individual.

Dolezal does address this issue somewhat when she writes about art school: “ Even when the models in my figure class were white, they came out looking Black on my sketch pad . In the end, I embraced the talents I had and stopped trying to please other people or help them understand me.”

But as you read this book, you will find that the road was not easy and the author was not always as sure of herself as reflected in the last quote. She fell, people pushed her, she suffered and she persisted. You learn that she received an MFA from Howard University; she was Historian for a chapter of the Black Students Association on campus; she later was head of an NAACP Chapter in Washington; and she worked with a police advisory board. Her positive contributions to the world around her cannot be disputed – not even by the critics obsessed with skin colour and “race identity”.

Following the lead up to her 2015 incident, Dolezal refused to give-up or “grovel and apologise” to the people criticizing her.

“I’d been slapped in the face with a series of isms—racism, ageism, classism, and sexism…My leadership had been stifled, my voice had been suppressed, and in the end I had been replaced, but I refused to give up.”

I disagree with that statement, and I believe that she has not been “replaced”. She has been temporarily sidelined with injuries inflicted by people that do not possess compassion, critical thought or the ability to accept that each and every person on the planet is “different”. As my favourite poster says “We are all unique, just like everyone else.” Each of us has the right to be who we feel we are. Personal identity should never be subject to public opinion.

Dolezal wrote this book to “set the record straight”. She explains how she got from Point A to Point B with an interesting and well-written story. She did this, even though she knew that giving out so many details made her more vulnerable than ever.

This book is “real and raw and honest” as Dolezal once said of an interview she gave.  But the people in our society bent on chasing “isms” (I call them “separatist” as they want to separate people based on things like skin colour, age, gender, sexual preferences, ect) will stay blind to Truth until they can shed their Separatism.

Interesting side note, on Amazon.com the reviews of this book generally fall into two categories: (1) People who have purchased the book and read it; and (2) people who have not purchased or read the book but want to make personal attacks on Dolezal. The people who are “verified purchasers” give the book very high marks; the other crowd - who generally haven’t bothered to read the book – seem to have a campaign to drag the book’s ratings down by giving it the lowest marks possible. Some of those same people also have placed “comments” on the positive reviews, almost always personal or cruel remarks that have nothing to do with the reviews or the book content.  I find it both sad and interesting that those people are so fearful of the discussion of racial diversity and identity and so closed to learning anything new.
Rachel Dolezal has now changed her name to Nkechi Amare Diallo. She is an American civil rights activist and has taught Africana studies, but above all, IMHO, she is an important and vibrant Artist – see her work here: http://racheldolezal.blogspot.com/

[Chris C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting insight on a woman who has been vilified, demonized, and mocked in our culture for the past few years without a second thought given to the human being on the other side.

As someone born to horrible, abusive parents and who struggled to figure out who she was, Dolezal is actually quite relatable. She adopted her younger siblings as they escaped their parents' abuse, she worked hard for racial equality for many years, on the front lines, even when it was difficult and even threatening to her and her family's lives. This woman was treated as though she had murdered or raped someone, when all she did was fabricate her identity. Even 'fabricating her identity' seems a stretch when she mostly committed lies of omission.

A conversation about race was unfortunately not sparked with Dolezal's story. Instead, the focus was put on this one woman and attacking her in every way imaginable, to the point where she lost all of her livelihood and could barely afford to feed her children. It is contradictory to me that a group that prides itself on being the "caring, inclusive side" - the leftist liberals - would enlist all of its powers to take down someone who at worst is mentally ill. Accepting a variety of folks who identify as something they were not born as is where America is headed. Either we can get behind it or move out of the way.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

In June 2015, Rachel Dolezal was “outed” as being a white woman! This was nothing new, (though biologically white) Dolezal, during her entire adult life, acted, identified, and presented herself publically as a black woman-- she had one biological black son, and was raising two black siblings. Dolezal was also an outspoken activist, college professor, and president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the NAACP. Within a short time she was fired from her job and lost all her (unpaid) positions where she had worked for years. “In Full Color: Finding My Place in a Black and White World” Dolezal shares her unusual controversial story with exceptional insight, courage, and humility.

It was truly understandable that Dolezal would separate herself from her white biological family when she reached adulthood. Raised in rural Northwest Montana, in a harsh and abusive environment by extreme evangelical parents-- when Dolezal inherited money from her grandmother’s estate, her parents kept her share for themselves. As upstanding Christian parents in their church and community, Larry and Ruthanne would later adopt four black children, allowing them a considerable break on their tax returns. Dolezal loved her adopted siblings, nurturing and caring for them, braiding her sister’s hair, and educating them about black history and culture where she felt a deep connection since her own childhood.

In 1996, Dolezal attended Belhaven University in Jackson, Mississippi, where she helped facilitate the first curriculum course in African American studies and history that is still taught today. The black student population increased 15% by the time of her graduation. In college, Dolezal created her “Afrocentric Style” of wearing colorful African patterned dresses, scarves, and wearing her hair in box braids. (From the book)… “I decided that the most honest and real way for me to live was to be Black, without any explanations, reservations, apologies or room for negotiation. I wasn’t trying to be anyone else. I wasn’t copying someone else’s life as a way of escaping my own… Blackness is a permanent part of who I am…”
After marriage, Dolezal was dismayed to learn her new (black) husband expected her to “act white” and was extremely rigid and controlling. The couple had a son, Franklin, and due to domestic violence, Dolezal filed for divorce after five years of marriage.

Dolezal attended grad school at Howard University in Washington D.C. where she was a gifted artist, and publically displayed her paintings and other works. Dolezal supported her family following graduation teaching at a college in Idaho, and continued her community support as an advocate and activist for black rights. Dolezal’s outspoken views seldom went over well with local authorities; she and her family were eventually targeted by area Neo-Nazi white supremacists, and victimized by several hate crimes.
The scandal and backlash that erupted against her beginning in her biological family, community, and on a national level was shocking and appalling. Dolezal included many family photos and pictorial displays of her beautiful artwork that inspire without words in her unforgettable story. ~ With thanks to the Seattle Public Library.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can honestly say that when I first heard about her it was on the Daily Show. I laughed about her story and moved on, not giving it anymore thought. Last week however, I watched "The Rachel Divide" on Netflix and then I knew I had to read her book. I am grateful that I watched that and read this. I am saddened by the amount of people who have rated this book at 1 star and have never read it due to their own bias against her. It's a shame that everyone is tearing her down and I had no idea the impact this was having on her life. She has some very interesting points and ideas on race and what constitutes it. Most importantly to me she just wants to be herself. I fully support that for whoever anyone is. We get such little time here and everyone deserves to be happy and celebrate who they are with the time they have. This woman has actually overcome so much in her life and she still has to fight to be who she feels she is. I support her. I hope she finds some peace too.

[Bryce Van Vleet · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to be clear that this review is not of Dolezal’s actions (or inactions), her character, or the notion of racial identity. Rather, it is a review of two things: In Full Color’s literary merit and Dolezal’s accomplishment of (or failure to accomplish) her goals in publishing this memoir.

Most readers, I would imagine, approached this book with a curiosity of understanding why Dolezal could have acted in the way she did, rather than to find out who she is, as is the common goal of memoir reading. It’s a curious decision, then, for Dolezal to begin with story after story of her childhood which connects little, if at all, with her “racial identity.” To an audience already hostile and skeptical of her story, it was a bad choice to begin here. Even if true, her audience faces the conflict of abandoning her story, that reads falsely, before she even gets a chance to share her racial story. Simply, she relies on the sympathy card too much, and for an infamous character, her audience experiences the opposite emotion to her intended goal. We vilify her more for what has happened to her, rather than humanize her. Had I been her (or her editor) I would have considered starting with her siblings, as her experiences styling their hair seemed to be the spark that started Dolezal on her “path to identity.” If necessary, I then would have supported the said race story with her childhood.

Further, and more disturbing, Dolezal follows her childhood reflections with a loose comparison to slavery. If one of Dolezal’s goals was to make herself appear, or make herself revealed to be, less racist (and how could it not be?), it was disastrous to put herself in a position that so clearly highlighted her privilege and racist attitudes. Regardless of how horrible her childhood was, is it really a fair assertion to compare this experience to understanding slavery? Yes, her chores seemed outside of the normal range of childhood chores. Yes, if true, her parents were anything but kind. Yet, even at its worst, was her experience anything remotely close to slavery? Irrefutably no.
Once we got into the actual events that developed Dolezal’s racial identity, her story began to make more sense. She built a more logical argument and better explanations of her perception. Weaved within her story, Dolezal deposits other people’s thoughts on race, and explanations of racism and Black culture. For the credibility that Dolezal loses from her hostile audience, and from her own accidental admittance (like the instance above), she gains a bit back from her clear academic understanding of race. Dolezal paints herself as someone who hasn’t just stumbled on this life, but has wrestled with it. Whether or not this is an accurate image is up for discussion, but, for her part, she asserts herself well.

Yet still, she misunderstands her audience. As I’ve mentioned, we are not naturally warm to her. As a result, her tendency to paint herself as a martyr, and a victim, even if true, feels false. In seemingly each of her vignettes, Dolezal is unable to see from anyone else’s perspective. She is always in the right, and everyone else, in the wrong. Dolezal, throughout her testimony, is never able to shed her established image. Instead, she plays directly into all the negative judgements that have been projected on her. This, in my opinion, is her greatest downfall. In a “tell-all” the goal is to set the record straight. Yet by revealing her true self, Dolezal reveals almost exactly who’ve we always thought she was. Though it isn’t an entire failure. As I’ve mentioned, Dolezal does reveal herself as educated, and refutes many claims made by her parents in TV interviews. She just doesn’t do it enough.

While I am sympathetic to Dolezal’s perceived experience, and believe that in time we will revisit this topic of discussion in society, In Full Color simply didn’t push her agenda enough. It managed to assert her as a privileged white woman educated in Black culture, but still unable to avoid appropriation and other racist ideologies.

As for its merit, Dolezal writes well, but not incredibly. Overall, this is an okay memoir. The work has some organization issues and is much longer than it ever needed to be. But it’s still a decently composed memoir, it just doesn’t really add anything new to the genre.

The media, and all of us, should be slower to crucify people. Even though I disagree with her, I am glad I read this. Hearing from her at least gives us all a new perspective to consider in her case. It shouldn’t be blindly accepted, nor should we go easy on hard conversations, but it should be, at the very least, heard.

[Eleanor Cowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rachel, born Caucasian, identifies as a Black woman. Even if they're not of your blood or color, you can adopt children or grandchildren who call you 'Mom' or 'Grandma', right? Is that false? Here in Alberta, many individuals, deeply distressed at their heritage, adopt the First Nations spirituality and are warmly welcomed into tribes where they're renamed and become part of their new family. Some of us adopt personas and others of us trans into who we feel we are inside - and that's our choice. How inspiring it would have been to have seen such a gifted and caring woman as Rachel Dolezal welcomed instead of so emphatically rejected.
Eleanor Cowan, Author of: A History of a Pedophile's Wife: Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer

[Max · Rating 1 out of 5]

She really and truly doubled the fuck down..... whole book is a massive pity party, constant comparisons between her own (often obviously exaggerated if not outright fabricated) adverse experiences and literal fucking slavery and shit.... like damn!!!!! She clearly has a racial fetish, in every sense, basically admits to it in not so many words, and has spent this whole time relating to black culture in a really incredibly nasty way

Like it’s so incredibly bold to go and do something ridiculously uncool and then act like it’s everyone else’s fault that her own shitty choices have become known and she screwed over herself and her family.... like obviously she has some deep seated issues, everyone who lies this much has some issues, but it’s impossible for anyone to know which parts are true when she’ll clearly say literally anything and has been lying her ass off whenever convenient for decades now

Sucks so bad for her siblings and kids that they have to be around her in the first place, much less how she dragged out the media scrutiny on their lives by milking the publicity so much. She is legit like, evil. Her book definitely drives home how incredibly racist, disingenuous, and manipulative dolezal is

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir written by the woman who in 2015 was outed for being white but passing herself off as black.No one had much good to say about her at the time and I followed suit. Then I saw the Netflix documentary about her life which prompted me to read her book. In it she tells her entire story which helps the reader understand her complicated identity.

I did not believe everything she said and I tired of her always playing the victim. However her story is compelling. It forces you to consider a multitude of questions. What exactly is race? What is the definition of family? Is she guilty of cultural appropriation or simply trying to find her comfort zone? Do I have the right to question how people identify themselves? Any book that makes you think about these issues in by my definition a good book.

[Davina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly, in reading this book it is almost impossible not to feel bad for Dolezal. If her version of events is to be believed, she has been through nightmarish experiences at nearly every turn in her life. However, the way events were chronicled, it was hard to see this as anything other than manipulation - ditto the "Black history lessons" that awkwardly pepper this book, double ditto her constant references to the various ways of styling black hair.

[Jess]

I'm not giving a star rating because nobody's making a decision on whether they want to read this book based on a star rating. I did try to keep an open mind while reading this and see if I could get some insight into Dolezal's perspective. But her perspective is surprisingly condescending: In the book, she criticizes what she perceives as internalized racism in her black ex-husband, criticizes her children's Black classmates because "they don't know they're Black," and criticizes NBC's Amber Payne for grilling her in an interview under the assumption that Payne doesn't realize there have been times in the past when Black people have chosen to "pass" as white. The underlying assumption behind each criticism is disturbing: Dolezal seems to imply that she's better at being Black than some Black people. There's also a pretty strong persecution complex at every turn, and she's quite quick to accuse people who criticize her of not "getting" her. In my case, I suppose she'd be right.

[Kris (My Novelesque Life)]

DNF @10%
2017; BenBella Books

While I am interested in finding out more about this story, and the craziness, I could not read this book beyond 10%. For me, I like to read/know how and why people do the things they do, no matter how uncomfortable it can be. However, the tone and writing was just a huge turn off so I am going to pass and maybe watch the Netflix documentary.

***I received a complimentary copy of this ebook from the publisher through Edelweiss. Opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.***

[Donna Davis · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really I should have left the DRC sit where it was, which was Net Galley, but thank you just the same to them and BenBella Books. For the most accurate and articulate write-up on this bizarre woman and her mission to become Black, go here:

http://www.thestranger.com/features/2...

It was actually not Dolezal's book, which equivocates and rationalizes unconscionable behavior, that clued me into exactly why African-Americans don't think this woman is funny. It should have been obvious from the start: the one and only thing, seriously, that Caucasian people cannot ever, ever, ever take from Black folk is exactly that; their Blackness. In twining her grasping fingers around an ethnicity to which she was not born and can never fully understand or appreciate, she committed the ultimate cultural appropriation.

I knew all of this before I grabbed the DRC. The sole thing that I want to know when I start reading is how this gutsy, warped individual explains having sued Howard University, an historically Black university, for discriminating against her for being White. I slogged through her prose recounting her early life and padding her personal experience with tidbits of Black history that I already knew and that read like cribbed lecture notes from the African-American history class she taught at one point. Tragic childhood. Black brothers and sister, adopted. And so help me, I still cannot understand why she is unable to simply say she comes from a mixed family; it's not like she's the only one, for heaven's sake. But anyway, I skimmed and persevered until I found this court case, which at first I nearly did not see, because she refers to it as a gender discrimination case and then--as a FOOTNOTE--adds that her attorney decided that adding race to the suit would strengthen the case.

So, poof! Not her fault. She is entirely passive; it is her lawyer's choice, and she, a mere mote in the wind, powerless to change the terms of the suit. And with that, her narrative moves on.

Having seen this, any small remaining chance that the woman is merely sick and misguided rather than a calculating striver vanished. Stick a fork in me; I'm done.

[Eleise · Rating 1 out of 5]

TW: Sexual Assault, racism, abuse

The author of this biography needs no introduction — Rachel Dolezal, the former NAACP president who presented herself as a black woman only to later be revealed as white. In this 2017 biography, Dolezal attempts to clear her name by sharing her story. She details the childhood abuse and trauma she experienced at the hands of her blood relatives, exploration of her "transracial" identity, academic and professional career, motherhood, and her public "outing."

I was initially prompted to read this biography after watching the Netflix documentary "The Rachel Divide," which follows Dolezal and her family. My curiosity was peaked, despite my growing disapproval and dislike for her and her actions, resulting in borrowing a copy from my local library and attempting to read it.

May I emphasize the word attempt.

While I had every intention of finishing the novel before posting my review, I couldn't stomach the rest of the novel. I found the novel to be a clusterfuck of poor writing, convoluted organization, unlikeable narration, and lack of details. Dolezal attempts to follow a linear timeline from childhood to present day, yet the organization feels more like an anthology. Each chapter felt like a mini-essay of sorts. At times she would revisit the past in order to mention a detail or reveal information she had failed to do so. This felt very jarring as a reader and took me out of the moment.

Most of the novel was accompanied by a victim mentality that seemed a poor attempt to win the reader over. Although I sympathized with the childhood trauma she experienced at the hands of her parents (from extreme neglect to physical abuse), her constant pursuit to impress and win the reader over rubbed me the wrong way. She would often insert long sections of black history that felt out of place in a biography based on her life. At one point she included a book review for Uncle Tom's Cabin (pg. 64). Yeah....hard no.

As others have stated, Dolezal repeatedly compares herself and her experiences to slaves. At one point she discusses the resourcefulness black slaves had to maintain in order to survive the trauma they experienced at their white captors, comparing it to the resourcefulness she had developed. "I developed a similar resourcefulness at a very young age. I knew that if I ever wanted to spend money on myself I'd have to make it on my own," (pg. 26). These two scenarios are nothing a like, yet this mentality is carried out throughout the novel. In fact, Dolezal believes that she is being denied a right to self-identify, similar to other communities. "Being denied the right to one's self-determination is a struggle I share with millions of other people," (pg. 4).

UM NO.

Now, this was all hard to stomach and by this point I had half a book filled with blue tabs that marked various scenes and sections that were problematic at best; however, I eventually gave up reading once Dolezal discussed the rape she suffered at the hands of one of her colleagues. According to her, she was raped in California and a rape kit was performed in Spokane, Washington. Yet in the chapter prior to this, she stated she lived in Idaho — a legal obligation due to her divorce. Dolezal failed to explain her connection to Spokane during this particular event, leaving me confused and rather frustrated. This sudden connection is never explained nor is the reader told how she was legally allowed to leave the state given the custody arrangement.

If one insists on sharing their story to millions, the least they can do is provide the necessary details. I DNFed this book and have no intention of ever reading.

tl;dr: Book suffers from poor organization and ramblings that feel out of place; author's failure to provide details regarding particular scenes, resulting in confusion.

[Jenesis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Going into reading this book, I made a strongly conscious effort to be as open-minded as possible. As someone who has studied social psychology, I have studied the idea of race as a social construct and was interested to see what kind of information Rachel was going to share on the subject. Sadly, not much.

I do truly believe that Rachel has a hard life. Whatever your feelings are on her racial identity should not discount the abuse she's suffered or the great civil rights work she's achieved in the communities she's lived in. But I don't believe just because she didn't ever feel like she fit in or that she grew up poor means that she grew up experiencing being Black, as she seems to imply many times throughout the book.

There are two things that still bother me after reading the entirety of Rachel Dolezal's book. 1 - She believes it is unfair that the world is constantly "testing" her Blackness. That she is constantly having prove that she should be part of Black culture. However, there are at least two times in the book when she refers to a few black children in her sons' schools whom were being raised by white parents and didn't "know" they were Black. To me, this is a ridiculous assertion. Any BIPOC knows that no matter how you choose to express or learn about your culture, you are always part of the culture. You are always judged by others on the basis of your cultural background and experience discrimination because it of. Just because those Black children don't have the knowledge, desire, or means to express Blackness the way Rachel and her family choose to, does not make them any less Black or worthy of Blackness than her. 2 - I still believe that the inherent problem with Rachel's Blackness is that she gets to choose to be Black coming from a position of white privilege. She never really makes a convincing argument as to why is it "okay" for her to claim Black culture (other than stating that some light-skinned Black people have "passed" as white. What a weak argument.) when, for the majority of her life, she didn't experience the adversity and prejudice that comes from being a BIPOC. Fine, you value Black culture, you believe in human rights, you know a lot about Black history; Does that give you the right to claim that culture as yours? How is that different from the "white musicians…rapping about the trials of life on the streets" you denigrated in your book?

All this being said, in my longest review ever, I think her story is interesting. It was more educational that I thought it would be. And I do have to credit the book for making me have more thoughts and questions than any other book I've read in the last year. But I'm still not certain it's "okay" for a person of privilege to "claim" an oppressed person's culture. And as much as she is hoping her full story will show that she is Black, I don't think it does.

[Sheila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start off by saying I did not want to like Rachel Dolezal. I went in with my eyebrow raised and lip quirked to the side fully intending to despise this imposter, dismiss this sad fetishist, and move on... After reading her story, I have a different perspective. I no longer believe blackness was a fad for her, or that she went into this life because she simply liked darker skin, African hair and all external things black. The girl has done her homework. She's researched black history, learned black heros, took the time to study the intricacies and nuances of black life- from the effect of the daily microaggressions that are meant to tear down the spirit ( and left herself open to be subjected to it) to black hair and skin care ( knowledge she used to help understand and raise her black siblings when their adoptive parents wouldn't be bothered). The question I asked myself is Why? Why would she choose this path? Was it only to sleep with black men? No....that doesn't make sense since the first orgasms she ever experienced were from white men. Was it for money?? No....she worked for the NAACP as well as ODOC for free and the jobs where she was compensated financially never matched the amount of hours she put into them. She is estranged from her biological family, broke, unemployed and unemployable yet still she embraces and identifies as Black. Had she not been "outed" who knows how much more she could have done for the Black community? Does her outing negate all she has done for the Black community? Could she have done more if she'd remained a white ally instead of choosing this path? I don't know. What I do know is I no longer want to dislike Rachel Dolezal. I applaud and am grateful for the work she's done, regardless of how she dressed, did her hair, darkened her skin while she was doing it. By the end if the book, I liked Rachel Dolezal... Sue me

[Asa Espanto · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is so much to unpack in this book, there's no way to really analyze it completely in a single review on Goodreads.

While she does bring up valid questions about how race is viewed, determined, or discussed (particularly for biracial or mixed race people), she seems to forget one major aspect -- it has nothing to do with her, because she is none of those things. Yes, race is complex, and there are millions of people who struggle with their racial identity because their family ancestry is complex. But Rachel Dolezal making the argument that 'well we all descended from the African continent originally so yes I am Black' is just absolutely laughable, and that she genuinely tries to defend that in this book is outright embarrassing.

It's also wildly offensive that she seems to hold tightly to the opinion that she has evolved to some other level of higher thinking, and everyone else should just get on her level. Those who criticize her are just not quite as educated or enlightened on the matter of race as she.

All in all, I found the book fascinating from a psychology standpoint, and it was an easy read. I think the minds of people who genuinely seem to believe in the power of their own snakeoil are just so odd, and you can't help but have endless questions. At least that's how I felt. Did I get any answers to my questions? Yes. Rachel Dolezal clearly had a difficult upbringing, and chose to handle her own personal trauma by inserting herself into a larger, shared trauma that comes with being Black in America. The white privilege is off the charts, and I hope this lady gets some perspective one day (and psychological help).

[Barbara Capehart · Rating 4 out of 5]

I watched the documentary before I read this book. I just don't get the hostility, really. A person does all this work for social justice, has black sons and grew up with black siblings who she ended up getting custody of when her parents let her brother molest her younger sister, after he had molested Rachel to! I just don't get all this. The idea that she stole anything from black people is just wrong. Listen, if a person born as a boy can be a girl in their head, and vis-a-versa then who is to say that race isn't that way to? Lets take the bi-racial child, which race trumps which one? Its all silly, people are people, my hell is my hell, your hell is your hell and my heaven is my heaven, and yours is your's. If you can come at this situation with a open heart I think you will learn something.

[Philippe Matthews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book with an open mind and using heart

This book by Rachel Dolezal is not for the racist mind or the angry African American. This book is about the evolution of what white identity will look like by 2045. Rachel is not only white woman who identifies as black. She is simply the one chosen to relay the message of things to come. As the white majority in America and Europe die off because of replacement fertility, we will live to see a new classification as African Americans and people of color become the dominant culture along with those who are culturally mixed and diverse. Rachel Dolezal is a marker and ahead of her time!

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm going 2 stars because I can't give 2.5...
We need to talk about this book.
The stupid thing about it is that I *want* to give Rachel Dolezal some sympathy because there is no doubt in my mind that she lived with religious zealots and that that particular sort of upbringing can do serious damage to a person. While I grew up Mormon and in a good, steady household when it came to "the world," many of my Mormon friends did not--so when Dolezal shared her stories of abuse in the name of religion, it rings true to me. Some things, you can't easily make up.
BUT...BUT...it's SO hard to believe a word from someone whose entire identity is pretty much a lie. She's unapologetic. I mean, she certainly doesn't owe me an apology as a white person, but I would venture to say that there are a lot within the Black community that would not only like one, but deserve one.
She compares chores and doing hard labor for her parents to slavery. Like, legitimately compares it. From the boat to the States-level comparison.
And you tell me she doesn't owe someone an apology....
That being said, I feel for her because I feel like a lot of this comes from her rejection of a life and parentage that is so hideously messed up that she'll do anything to shed it--and I don't doubt that it did major psychological harm.
So, I think someone should grab Rachel Dolezal by the shoulders and shake her...but then give the girl a hug. She's messed up. But who wouldn't be in those conditions?