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219 pages, Paperback
Published October 15, 2016
As a teenage author at the age of fifteen myself, I was extremely excited to read this novel. I had heard about Fire & Ice: The Elementals somewhere online and found myself a kindred spirit to the young author. I'm usually not the type to read a debut novel unless it's something I have seen on the bestselling list, but I knew I had to give this one a shot. I was apprehensive at first, but the myriad of reviews praising the author's work for being at such a young age had me curious as to what other teen authors had to bring to the table. So, I placed my order of $10 and waited patiently for two weeks for this book to arrive as I stalked the front door and literally pat down the mailman every time he'd swing by. The second I got the book, of course, I had to immediately start reading it.
Now to get onto the review of the story overall.
If you're anything like me, you enjoy a good adventure in a fantasy novel. You marvel at the worlds created by authors and wish yourself away to them as you get lost in the black ink on the pages that serve as your only portal to reach your destination. I was extremely excited about the world of Aisling when I first picked up the book! A world where "gifts" were given and were unique to each individual was an innovative idea I personally saw a lot of potential in. The author had plenty of room to expand upon her ideas and really stretch them to create something beautiful and unlike anything I'd seen done before... However, you could easily tell this was a work of fiction created by a debut author.
As an author myself, I suppose I had high expectations for her. I tried my damndest not to be too harsh as I read the story, but this is a review and this is an honest opinion about the copy of the book that I received and nearly tore apart by writing corrections and suggestions in the margins. Her character had no real defining characteristics that set her apart from any other female protagonist I'd seen done before. I get that everything has been done before, but if you're going for a cliche, you should at least stick with it. Alice goes from a headstrong stubborn and outspoken girl to suddenly someone who described herself as a "quiet soul" in what I believe was a chapter in the twenties of this book. She's a red-headed girl who can't control her gift, and her "amber brown" eyes.
Pause. The number of times the author goes into detail about describing character's eye colors is ridiculous. I began counting them, and I got over sixty times a line about "insert color____ eyes" was used. I 100% know by now that Alice has amber brown eyes, Emery's are "pale blue orbs", and that Zara's are "sapphire stones." I get it, she wants to be descriptive as an author, but she needs to understand that we, as readers, already know from the first time she mentions it. Sure, it's okay to reiterate it every now and then so the readers don't forget such a minute detail, but come on! Every single chapter, I found myself just waiting for an eye description so I could underline it and add another tally to my counter. A friend also read this book with me and we both had plenty of comments to make about it. Let's continue, shall we?
Now that we've covered the fact the characters are all relatively flat and lack dynamic interest and that the author is extra when it comes to using appearance description, I feel like I'd also like to point out her description in general. Everything feels way too much. There were times when my friend and I would skip over lines because they just dragged on and weren't doing it for us in the imagery department. As an author, you want to be descriptive, but you also don't want it to feel too forced or to bore your readers. A lot of her descriptions aren't needed. For example: Do you really need to reiterate that the staircases are white every time one is mentioned in the story? Is it such an important detail that you need to include the word white before every appearance of a staircase? No! It's way too much, and it's quite annoying. Some of her descriptions, with the right context and placement in the situation, make sense and were quite beautiful. Most, however, felt odd and even a little bit awkward. As an author who says herself that she is known for her "vivid descriptions", I think the only thing I'm really going to know her as is the girl who didn't run her debut novel through beta readers. At least, not very good ones.
On the topic of beta reading, TONS of stuff in this story is improperly punctuated. There were also three times where sentences switched verb tenses and made me want to throw the book across the room. For example, Page 118, paragraph 4: "After throwing on my clothes and grabbing a dark cloak out of my wardrobe, I tucking my vial necklace into the collar of my shirt." Another example: Page 152, paragraph 5: "I did not know why we had travel back to this memory." And, finally, the last of these major tense and wording errors: Page 175, paragraph 5: "... 'We need to go to the towers. We need to be where are Gifts are strongest.'"... What?! It's things like this that confirm to me for sure she probably wrote it and disregarded the entire editing process. Either that or she had terrible beta readers who knew not how to correct a girl and her writing. Which leads me to my NEXT point.
Her dialogue is very, very poorly punctuated. My friend and I found that Erin's reluctance to use the word "said" brought about confusing alternatives that made no sense in the matter that they were used. Not only this, she often wrote "Dialogue," with the comma and never had another leading thought. Even sentences involving "I asked" had the question and a little, at the end of it. I can't tell you how many punctuation marks my friend and I have had to scribble in this book.
And finally, before I rip my hair out with my more critiques, I have to talk about this ending. The climax of the story was the biggest let down of all. It was rushed and extremely unplanned. I literally flipped a page after and it was all passively written. It wasn't immersive, I didn't feel anything as I read it, and most of all? I was just done to be finished with the book! It didn't leave me wanting more, it didn't leave me with questions, and the only thing I could've wondered was how the hell this book made it through publishing with as many errors as it contains? Also worth noting is the fact the main plot point isn't mentioned until about chapter fifteen when you're more than halfway through the story and the entire "adventure" is quicker than a blink of an eye.
Overall, while I was disappointed and utterly devastated in the novel that's sitting next to me on the dining room table as I write this review, the one thing keeping me from giving this a worse rating than a two is the fact that I really DID like her ideas! I'm sad that she just couldn't find the proper way to express them... Erin, if you ever need a beta reader, PLEASE contact and work with me. I would be more than happy to help you fix your work into something that won't have well-educated readers pulling their hair out. I'm also interested in mailing my copy of the book back to Erin Forbes with revisions and the notes on it. I know it won't do much, as the book's already out and published, but it never hurts to see how readers view your story and how authors also can help one another through constructive criticism. I'm going to be purchasing the next book, so let's hope that I'm not screaming to my friends in the halls about the lack of dynamics or the repetitive mentioning of eye colors this time.
If you're thinking about purchasing or reading this book, I highly advise you to take into consideration what I mentioned in my review. While it was short and relatively sweet, I don't see the reflection of four years of hard work in this piece of literature and generally expected more from a seventeen-year-old author.
Keep reading!
Camryn Norton, author of the soon to be published first novel of the Reincarnate series.