What do you think?
Rate this book
You Will Not Have My Hate
#1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER •
For readers of Paul Kalanithi's When Breath Becomes Air and Sonali Deraniyagala's Wave, this inspirational and heartbreaking memoir shows the power of love as a young father finds himself suddenly caring for his son alone after his wife is killed in the Paris attacks.
"On Friday night you stole the life of an exceptional person, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hate."
On November 13, 2015, Antoine Leiris’s wife, Hélène Muyal-Leiris, was killed by terrorists while attending a rock concert at the Bataclan Theater in Paris, in the deadliest attack on France since World War II. Three days later, Leiris wrote an open letter addressed directly to his wife’s killers, which he posted on Facebook. He refused to be cowed or to let his seventeen-month-old son’s life be defined by Hélène’s murder. He refused to let the killers have their “For as long as he lives, this little boy will insult you with his happiness and freedom.” Instantly, that short Facebook post caught fire, and was reported on by newspapers and television stations all over the world. In his determination to honor the memory of his wife, he became an international hero to everyone searching desperately for a way to deal with the horror of the Paris attacks and the grim shadow cast today by the threat of terrorism.
Now Leiris tells the full story of his grief and struggle. You Will Not Have My Hate is a remarkable, heartbreaking, and, indeed, beautiful memoir of how he and his baby son, Melvil, endured in the days and weeks after Hélène’s murder. With absolute emotional courage and openness, he somehow finds a way to answer that impossible how can I go on? He visits Hélène’s body at the morgue, has to tell Melvil that Mommy will not be coming home, and buries the woman he had planned to spend the rest of his life with.
Leiris’s grief is terrible, but his love for his family is indomitable. This is the rare and unforgettable testimony of a survivor, and a universal message of hope and resilience. Leiris confronts an incomprehensible pain with a humbling generosity and grandeur of spirit. He is a guiding star for us all in these perilous times. His message—hate will be vanquished by love—is eternal.
From the Hardcover edition.
"On Friday night you stole the life of an exceptional person, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hate."
On November 13, 2015, Antoine Leiris’s wife, Hélène Muyal-Leiris, was killed by terrorists while attending a rock concert at the Bataclan Theater in Paris, in the deadliest attack on France since World War II. Three days later, Leiris wrote an open letter addressed directly to his wife’s killers, which he posted on Facebook. He refused to be cowed or to let his seventeen-month-old son’s life be defined by Hélène’s murder. He refused to let the killers have their “For as long as he lives, this little boy will insult you with his happiness and freedom.” Instantly, that short Facebook post caught fire, and was reported on by newspapers and television stations all over the world. In his determination to honor the memory of his wife, he became an international hero to everyone searching desperately for a way to deal with the horror of the Paris attacks and the grim shadow cast today by the threat of terrorism.
Now Leiris tells the full story of his grief and struggle. You Will Not Have My Hate is a remarkable, heartbreaking, and, indeed, beautiful memoir of how he and his baby son, Melvil, endured in the days and weeks after Hélène’s murder. With absolute emotional courage and openness, he somehow finds a way to answer that impossible how can I go on? He visits Hélène’s body at the morgue, has to tell Melvil that Mommy will not be coming home, and buries the woman he had planned to spend the rest of his life with.
Leiris’s grief is terrible, but his love for his family is indomitable. This is the rare and unforgettable testimony of a survivor, and a universal message of hope and resilience. Leiris confronts an incomprehensible pain with a humbling generosity and grandeur of spirit. He is a guiding star for us all in these perilous times. His message—hate will be vanquished by love—is eternal.
From the Hardcover edition.
99 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 3, 2016
131 people are currently reading
12804 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,500 reviews
November 30, 2016
"So, no, I will not give you the satisfaction of hating you. That is what you want, but to respond to your hate with anger would be to yield to the same ignorance that made you what you are. You want me to be scared, to see my fellow citizens through suspicious eyes, to sacrifice my freedom for security. You have failed. I will not change."
I, like so many people across the world, was riveted to my television the night of November 13, 2015, as we learned of the coordinated terrorist attacks in Paris, particularly the massacre at the Bataclan Theater, which left 90 concert-goers dead and countless more injured. Among those killed was Hélène Muyal-Leiris, a young wife and mother who was attending the concert with a friend.
Three days after his wife's murder, Antoine Leiris wrote a letter to her killers, which he subsequently published on Facebook. He let them, and the world, know that while he had every right to be angry, to hate the terrorists for taking his wife from him and his young son, he wouldn't allow them the luxury of his hate. His post went viral, and Leiris became an inspiration not only to others who lost people in the Paris attacks, but to anyone struggling with a senseless loss at the hands of another. This new role became as much a burden at times as it did an honor.
"Since then, I have been lost: I don't know where I'm going, I don't know how to get there. You can't really count on me...I think about all the others who have written to me. I want to tell them that I feel dwarfed by my own words. Even if I try to convince myself that they are mine, I don't know if I will live up to them. From one day to the next, I might drown."
You Will Not Have My Hate is a short, powerful account of the days and weeks following Hélène's murder. It is raw, emotional, and utterly mesmerizing how Leiris was able to find the strength he needed to face raising his young son alone, handling the rituals alone which he and his wife once performed together. It is also a portrait of a love story and a testament to a woman who left her indelible mark on two lives, although one never really had the chance to know her.
I thought this was beautifully written, emotional without being maudlin, fiercely courageous, and, as you'd imagine, totally moving. But beyond that, I found this really inspirational, both as an account of overcoming a sudden loss and a paean to finding strength and resolve at a time when you have every right not to.
Between this and Paul Kalanithi's exceptional When Breath Becomes Air (see my review), I've found two books to turn to when life's challenges may seem insurmountable. Because if these two men could find the strength to soldier on, I know I will be, too.
See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
I, like so many people across the world, was riveted to my television the night of November 13, 2015, as we learned of the coordinated terrorist attacks in Paris, particularly the massacre at the Bataclan Theater, which left 90 concert-goers dead and countless more injured. Among those killed was Hélène Muyal-Leiris, a young wife and mother who was attending the concert with a friend.
Three days after his wife's murder, Antoine Leiris wrote a letter to her killers, which he subsequently published on Facebook. He let them, and the world, know that while he had every right to be angry, to hate the terrorists for taking his wife from him and his young son, he wouldn't allow them the luxury of his hate. His post went viral, and Leiris became an inspiration not only to others who lost people in the Paris attacks, but to anyone struggling with a senseless loss at the hands of another. This new role became as much a burden at times as it did an honor.
"Since then, I have been lost: I don't know where I'm going, I don't know how to get there. You can't really count on me...I think about all the others who have written to me. I want to tell them that I feel dwarfed by my own words. Even if I try to convince myself that they are mine, I don't know if I will live up to them. From one day to the next, I might drown."
You Will Not Have My Hate is a short, powerful account of the days and weeks following Hélène's murder. It is raw, emotional, and utterly mesmerizing how Leiris was able to find the strength he needed to face raising his young son alone, handling the rituals alone which he and his wife once performed together. It is also a portrait of a love story and a testament to a woman who left her indelible mark on two lives, although one never really had the chance to know her.
I thought this was beautifully written, emotional without being maudlin, fiercely courageous, and, as you'd imagine, totally moving. But beyond that, I found this really inspirational, both as an account of overcoming a sudden loss and a paean to finding strength and resolve at a time when you have every right not to.
Between this and Paul Kalanithi's exceptional When Breath Becomes Air (see my review), I've found two books to turn to when life's challenges may seem insurmountable. Because if these two men could find the strength to soldier on, I know I will be, too.
See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
September 4, 2017
طوال حياتي كنت أكره عادة أعياد الميلاد ولا أحتفل بها، فالهدايا لا تثيرني، ما لم تكن كتاباً أو قلماً، والدعوات بالعمر المديد الذي يمتد إلى 100 عام لا تهزني، و"الجاتوه" لا يسيل له لعابي، وأفضّل عليه طبقًا من الحلويات الإماراتية، ك"الخنفروش" على سبيل المثال، أمّا الأصدقاء فلا أحب أن يُظهروا لي المحبة في مواسم معينة، للحصول على رضاي، وربما للحصول على قطعة من "الجاتوه". ولأنني أعتقد أن الفرح كلما كان عفويًا كان أكثر صدقًا، أشعر بالريبة تجاه كل أنواع الاحتفالات التي تصاحبها كمية كبيرة من الصخب، والأغنيات الراقصة، والمفرقعات.. والنفاق بطبيعة الحال. ولكنني مؤخرًا، بعد التفكير مليًا في الموضوع، اكتشفت أن عيد الميلاد هو بالفعل مناسبة خاصة، ليلة أحتفل فيها بنفسي. جميلٌ أن نحتفل بنا على سبيل التغيير، بدلاَ من أن نحتفل بالآخرين دائمًا، لذلك أرجوكم، لا تزاحموني، فقد قررت أن أخصّص هذه الليلة لي وحدي:
سأعتمر قبعة الأطفال الأسطوانية، وأغني لنفسي أغنيات مبتذلة، للمغنية "روبي" مثلاً، وأشرب وإياها الشاي. ومن ثمّ أنهي يومي بقراءة كتاب جميل، كهذا، يعينني على البقاء حيًا ل١٢ شهرًا آخرين لحين حلول موعد عيد ميلادي مجدّدًا!
قد يبدو اختياري لهذا الكتاب الحزين في هذا اليوم، الذي نكون فيه أكثر سعادة، اختيارًا مازوخيًا. فمن ذلك الذي، بدلاً من أن يفتّش عن البهجة، يبحث عمٌا يصيبه بالحزن والوجع؟
ولكن الغريب في هذا الكتاب، أنك تشعر، بعد الانتهاء منه، بالسعادة. السعادة في اكتشاف أن خزّان العالم من "النبل" و"الشهامة" لم ينتهي، وأنّ الدنيا رغم كل ما يعتريها من مصائب وكوارث لا تزال بخير!
أعتقد بأنكم تتذكرون تلك الرسالة/المرثية التي نشرها فرنسي يدعى "أنطوان لاريس" على حسابه في الفيس بوك إثر استشهاد زوجته "هيلين" في الأعمال الإرهابية التي ضربت عاصمة النور "باريس" عام ٢٠١٥. وأعتقد أنكم تتذكرون كذلك كيف انتشرت هذه الرسالة على جميع مواقع التواصل الإجتماعي وأثارت عاصفة من التعاطف مع "أنطوان لاريس" وابنه. حسنًا، إن كنتم لا تتذكرون، فهذا مقتطف من الرسالة التي وجهها "لاريس" إلى أولئك الإرهابيين: " "لا، لن أمنحكم هدية كرهي لكم، لقد أردتم ذلك، ولكن الرد عليكم بالكره والغضب يعني الاستسلام للجهل الذى جعلكم على ما أنتم عليه... رأيت زوجتي أخيرًا هذا الصباح، كانت جميلة كما كانت عندما تركتني مساء الجمعة... من المؤكد أن الحزن يدمرني. أعترف لكم بهذا النصر التافه، ولكن الحزن سيدوم طويلًا، لأننى أعرف أنها سترافقنا فى كل يوم وسنلتقي فى جنة الأرواح التى لن تدخلوها أبدًا... نحن اثنان، أنا وابني، لكننا أقوى من كل جيوش العالم... هذا الطفل سيتحداكم بأن يعيش سعيدًا وحرًا طوال حياته ولن يمنحكم حقده أبدًا".
بعد أن نشر "لاريس" هذه الرسالة، قام بكتابة مرثية فرّغ فيها كل الحزن والمعاناة التي عايشها، هو وطفله، منذ رحيل زوجته، ونشرها في كتاب صغير، يمكن اعتباره "مانيفيستو" للثورة ضد الكراهية التي غزت العالم.
انتهيت من قراءة الكتاب، وعلى الفور اشتريت كعكة غرست فيها شمعة واحدة، ليس لأن عمري سنة واحدة ولكن لأن الكعكة أصغر من أن تستضيف أكثر من شمعة، وعندما بدأت بممارسة طقس إشعال الشمعة واطفائها، فتشت في قلبي عن أمنية لم تتحقق، ثم أغمضت عينيّ بشدة وابتسمت وأنا أدعو الله أن يرحم روح "هيلين" وأرواح الشهداء، ويصب اللعنات والويلات على جميع الإرهابيين، ومن يدعمهم.
سأعتمر قبعة الأطفال الأسطوانية، وأغني لنفسي أغنيات مبتذلة، للمغنية "روبي" مثلاً، وأشرب وإياها الشاي. ومن ثمّ أنهي يومي بقراءة كتاب جميل، كهذا، يعينني على البقاء حيًا ل١٢ شهرًا آخرين لحين حلول موعد عيد ميلادي مجدّدًا!
قد يبدو اختياري لهذا الكتاب الحزين في هذا اليوم، الذي نكون فيه أكثر سعادة، اختيارًا مازوخيًا. فمن ذلك الذي، بدلاً من أن يفتّش عن البهجة، يبحث عمٌا يصيبه بالحزن والوجع؟
ولكن الغريب في هذا الكتاب، أنك تشعر، بعد الانتهاء منه، بالسعادة. السعادة في اكتشاف أن خزّان العالم من "النبل" و"الشهامة" لم ينتهي، وأنّ الدنيا رغم كل ما يعتريها من مصائب وكوارث لا تزال بخير!
أعتقد بأنكم تتذكرون تلك الرسالة/المرثية التي نشرها فرنسي يدعى "أنطوان لاريس" على حسابه في الفيس بوك إثر استشهاد زوجته "هيلين" في الأعمال الإرهابية التي ضربت عاصمة النور "باريس" عام ٢٠١٥. وأعتقد أنكم تتذكرون كذلك كيف انتشرت هذه الرسالة على جميع مواقع التواصل الإجتماعي وأثارت عاصفة من التعاطف مع "أنطوان لاريس" وابنه. حسنًا، إن كنتم لا تتذكرون، فهذا مقتطف من الرسالة التي وجهها "لاريس" إلى أولئك الإرهابيين: " "لا، لن أمنحكم هدية كرهي لكم، لقد أردتم ذلك، ولكن الرد عليكم بالكره والغضب يعني الاستسلام للجهل الذى جعلكم على ما أنتم عليه... رأيت زوجتي أخيرًا هذا الصباح، كانت جميلة كما كانت عندما تركتني مساء الجمعة... من المؤكد أن الحزن يدمرني. أعترف لكم بهذا النصر التافه، ولكن الحزن سيدوم طويلًا، لأننى أعرف أنها سترافقنا فى كل يوم وسنلتقي فى جنة الأرواح التى لن تدخلوها أبدًا... نحن اثنان، أنا وابني، لكننا أقوى من كل جيوش العالم... هذا الطفل سيتحداكم بأن يعيش سعيدًا وحرًا طوال حياته ولن يمنحكم حقده أبدًا".
بعد أن نشر "لاريس" هذه الرسالة، قام بكتابة مرثية فرّغ فيها كل الحزن والمعاناة التي عايشها، هو وطفله، منذ رحيل زوجته، ونشرها في كتاب صغير، يمكن اعتباره "مانيفيستو" للثورة ضد الكراهية التي غزت العالم.
انتهيت من قراءة الكتاب، وعلى الفور اشتريت كعكة غرست فيها شمعة واحدة، ليس لأن عمري سنة واحدة ولكن لأن الكعكة أصغر من أن تستضيف أكثر من شمعة، وعندما بدأت بممارسة طقس إشعال الشمعة واطفائها، فتشت في قلبي عن أمنية لم تتحقق، ثم أغمضت عينيّ بشدة وابتسمت وأنا أدعو الله أن يرحم روح "هيلين" وأرواح الشهداء، ويصب اللعنات والويلات على جميع الإرهابيين، ومن يدعمهم.
January 14, 2018
I received this book from Antoine Leiris and Harvill Secker via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review and would like to thank them for giving me this opportunity.
"I thought that if the moon ever disappeared, the sea would retreat so that no one would see it crying."
I wish this book had never needed to have been written. It is a memoir following on from one of the most cold-hearted and insensitive random "religiously" influenced attacks on innocents in known recent history. The all too memorable and devastating attacks in Paris that haunted the news, literally. I say I wish it was never written - not because it is badly written or it is not very interesting to read - but because; if those attacks had never happened then our narrator Antoine would still have his wife Helene in the metaphorical photograph he discusses that was a perfect life that he lived up until that harrowing night - the picture also including 17-month-old child Melvil.
Antoine is a French journalist and was reading a novel at home on that night looking after his child. His wife was at The Eagles of Death Metal concert. Mr Leiris receives text messages saying :
"Everything okay?"
"..."
"Are you safe?"
And then he turns on the news.
As this is a subject that we are so familiar with due to the fact we all watched it on the news intensely and couldn't believe our eyes - I broke down in the first chapter remembering how I felt then; but the emotions were heightened 100% as we are placed inside the mind of someone whose life is devastatingly affected. As I mentioned, I actually started crying in chapter 1. That has never happened in a book to me before.
The memoir is written as ultimately a "train of thoughts" as we follow the horror of not knowing if your loved one was safe, realising the worst possible outcome was the reality and looking after a child who had always had his mama as a pivotal figure in the young and impressionable beginning stages of life.
You cannot "enjoy" a book like this - but that is the point. It is a memoir of emotions that I hope none of us have to ever feel. Adjusting to the highly unfortunate direction his life has gone; Antoine decides to write a Facebook post to express his state of mind and thoughts to the perpetrators of the macabre acts of that night. It went viral.
"You are the one who was hurt (Antoine) and yet it is you who gives us courage."- was one of the many letters he received following this status update. The status is a fitting statement to the evilest of men who committed these crimes and if it wasn't the catalyst then this was one of many statements and activities that brought the world together against the attackers and made us all stronger, fully united which could not have been "Islamic State's" desire. I think that is one of the messages of the memoir.
This is stunningly written. A large majority of the poetic language is so colourfully heightened but highly poignant that you cannot help but almost sway along to the words like you are in a trance.
One of the saddest scenes is Antoine trying to express through photographs and music - to his 17 month-old child who can only say mama, papa and play - that his mama will not be coming home but that she is always with him and will be forever. That is one truly touching scene and although this is only a short book at 99 pages - we are presented many moments that are truly unnerving and despairing.
This book isn't enjoyable as I stated. It needs to be read. I have to take a moment to give respect to Sam Taylor who translated this from French to English. I 100% recommended reading this as it is an insight into the aftermath of one of the most upsetting times of our lives.
James. www.youandibooks.wordpress.com
"I thought that if the moon ever disappeared, the sea would retreat so that no one would see it crying."
I wish this book had never needed to have been written. It is a memoir following on from one of the most cold-hearted and insensitive random "religiously" influenced attacks on innocents in known recent history. The all too memorable and devastating attacks in Paris that haunted the news, literally. I say I wish it was never written - not because it is badly written or it is not very interesting to read - but because; if those attacks had never happened then our narrator Antoine would still have his wife Helene in the metaphorical photograph he discusses that was a perfect life that he lived up until that harrowing night - the picture also including 17-month-old child Melvil.
Antoine is a French journalist and was reading a novel at home on that night looking after his child. His wife was at The Eagles of Death Metal concert. Mr Leiris receives text messages saying :
"Everything okay?"
"..."
"Are you safe?"
And then he turns on the news.
As this is a subject that we are so familiar with due to the fact we all watched it on the news intensely and couldn't believe our eyes - I broke down in the first chapter remembering how I felt then; but the emotions were heightened 100% as we are placed inside the mind of someone whose life is devastatingly affected. As I mentioned, I actually started crying in chapter 1. That has never happened in a book to me before.
The memoir is written as ultimately a "train of thoughts" as we follow the horror of not knowing if your loved one was safe, realising the worst possible outcome was the reality and looking after a child who had always had his mama as a pivotal figure in the young and impressionable beginning stages of life.
You cannot "enjoy" a book like this - but that is the point. It is a memoir of emotions that I hope none of us have to ever feel. Adjusting to the highly unfortunate direction his life has gone; Antoine decides to write a Facebook post to express his state of mind and thoughts to the perpetrators of the macabre acts of that night. It went viral.
"You are the one who was hurt (Antoine) and yet it is you who gives us courage."- was one of the many letters he received following this status update. The status is a fitting statement to the evilest of men who committed these crimes and if it wasn't the catalyst then this was one of many statements and activities that brought the world together against the attackers and made us all stronger, fully united which could not have been "Islamic State's" desire. I think that is one of the messages of the memoir.
This is stunningly written. A large majority of the poetic language is so colourfully heightened but highly poignant that you cannot help but almost sway along to the words like you are in a trance.
One of the saddest scenes is Antoine trying to express through photographs and music - to his 17 month-old child who can only say mama, papa and play - that his mama will not be coming home but that she is always with him and will be forever. That is one truly touching scene and although this is only a short book at 99 pages - we are presented many moments that are truly unnerving and despairing.
This book isn't enjoyable as I stated. It needs to be read. I have to take a moment to give respect to Sam Taylor who translated this from French to English. I 100% recommended reading this as it is an insight into the aftermath of one of the most upsetting times of our lives.
James. www.youandibooks.wordpress.com
March 2, 2017
On the 13th of November, 2015, a black car with three heavily armed gunmen pulled up outside the Bataclan Theatre in Paris, France. In less than three hours, those gunmen would die, but first they took the lives of 90 innocent people, people they most likely never knew or ever met, attending the concert inside.
With a burst of machine gun fire, they shattered our puzzle. And after we have put it back together, piece by piece, it will no longer be the same. There will be someone missing in the picture, there will be only the two of us, but we will take up the whole picture. She will be with us, invisible, but there. It is in our eyes that you will read her presence, in our joy that her flame will burn, in our veins that her tears will flow. We will never return to our life of before. But we will not build a life against them. We will move forward in our own life.
After the night when Paris was subjected to this attack is when this begins. That night a concert was being held at that theatre, and many lives were lost, others are scarred for life, no one will forget that night. This book is the story of one man, one woman and their child, and their extended family. Of their lives, those who remain and the one whose life was lost. One night not too long after that night when his wife, Helene Muyal-Leiris died, it was begun by the Antoine Leiris. His facebook post was designed for the terrorists, a heartfelt message letting it be known that he will not give in to their message of hate by adding more hate to the world. He will not succumb, as they want, to their hate by hating in return, nor will he raise their seventeen month-old son to hate.
This story is small in size, less than 100 pages, but it has a colossal impact.
There is more - of course - of his day-to-day life in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months after. The minutiae of life. Taking his young son to preschool. Shopping. Laundry. All the things that remind him that life has changed. The homemade meals brought to him. The eyes of those who know, afraid to speak, to say the wrong thing in that moment and shatter the carefully built wall of protection he needs to make his way through this time.
But the most beautiful moments of our lives are not those we stick in photograph albums. I remember all those moments when we just took the time to love each other. Seeing an old couple and wanting to be like them. A burst of laughter. An empty morning, lounging in the comfort of our sheets.
It is the most insignificant moments, where there is nothing to show, nothing to tell, that are the most beautiful. Those are the ones that fill my memory.
I first read about this book in a superb review by James Lafayette Tivendale. I immediately added it to my TBR. A big thank you to James for bringing this to my attention, and to others who have read and reviewed it since then.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I’m so grateful to have read this, and as many have said, I’m only sorry that it ever had to be written. I wish stories like these never had to be written or talked about. The Boston Marathon bombing, the mass shooting of the LGBT nightclub in Orlando. Columbine. Sandy Hook Elementary School. Those all come to mind far too easily.
In Montreal, during the summer of 1969, someone else most of us have at least heard of, wrote a plea along the same line of thought. A more simplified version of Antoine Leiris, put it to music. It’s not my favourite song ever written by him, yet it ran through my head periodically as I was reading this. An anthem.
Love means so many things to us, maternal love, love of a friend, of a parent, our siblings, of our pets, teachers, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, sexual love, the list goes on. Love can be so idealized, but in reality many things often fuel it. It is rare that it happens without dissapointments, without fighting, resentment. Anger. So I would add a word to qualify that kind of love. Peace. And yes, it is a word too often associated with some hippie-zen-new-age-out-there-blah-blah-blah wisdom, the events of the day this song was born itself, really, but I’m talking about cutting out all the BS of that and just focusing on a kind of peace that is only accompanied by the kind of love that Antoine Leiris is speaking of – and vice-versa.
All we are saying, is give peace a chance.
John Lennon
Highly recommended.
With a burst of machine gun fire, they shattered our puzzle. And after we have put it back together, piece by piece, it will no longer be the same. There will be someone missing in the picture, there will be only the two of us, but we will take up the whole picture. She will be with us, invisible, but there. It is in our eyes that you will read her presence, in our joy that her flame will burn, in our veins that her tears will flow. We will never return to our life of before. But we will not build a life against them. We will move forward in our own life.
After the night when Paris was subjected to this attack is when this begins. That night a concert was being held at that theatre, and many lives were lost, others are scarred for life, no one will forget that night. This book is the story of one man, one woman and their child, and their extended family. Of their lives, those who remain and the one whose life was lost. One night not too long after that night when his wife, Helene Muyal-Leiris died, it was begun by the Antoine Leiris. His facebook post was designed for the terrorists, a heartfelt message letting it be known that he will not give in to their message of hate by adding more hate to the world. He will not succumb, as they want, to their hate by hating in return, nor will he raise their seventeen month-old son to hate.
This story is small in size, less than 100 pages, but it has a colossal impact.
There is more - of course - of his day-to-day life in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months after. The minutiae of life. Taking his young son to preschool. Shopping. Laundry. All the things that remind him that life has changed. The homemade meals brought to him. The eyes of those who know, afraid to speak, to say the wrong thing in that moment and shatter the carefully built wall of protection he needs to make his way through this time.
But the most beautiful moments of our lives are not those we stick in photograph albums. I remember all those moments when we just took the time to love each other. Seeing an old couple and wanting to be like them. A burst of laughter. An empty morning, lounging in the comfort of our sheets.
It is the most insignificant moments, where there is nothing to show, nothing to tell, that are the most beautiful. Those are the ones that fill my memory.
I first read about this book in a superb review by James Lafayette Tivendale. I immediately added it to my TBR. A big thank you to James for bringing this to my attention, and to others who have read and reviewed it since then.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I’m so grateful to have read this, and as many have said, I’m only sorry that it ever had to be written. I wish stories like these never had to be written or talked about. The Boston Marathon bombing, the mass shooting of the LGBT nightclub in Orlando. Columbine. Sandy Hook Elementary School. Those all come to mind far too easily.
In Montreal, during the summer of 1969, someone else most of us have at least heard of, wrote a plea along the same line of thought. A more simplified version of Antoine Leiris, put it to music. It’s not my favourite song ever written by him, yet it ran through my head periodically as I was reading this. An anthem.
Love means so many things to us, maternal love, love of a friend, of a parent, our siblings, of our pets, teachers, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, sexual love, the list goes on. Love can be so idealized, but in reality many things often fuel it. It is rare that it happens without dissapointments, without fighting, resentment. Anger. So I would add a word to qualify that kind of love. Peace. And yes, it is a word too often associated with some hippie-zen-new-age-out-there-blah-blah-blah wisdom, the events of the day this song was born itself, really, but I’m talking about cutting out all the BS of that and just focusing on a kind of peace that is only accompanied by the kind of love that Antoine Leiris is speaking of – and vice-versa.
All we are saying, is give peace a chance.
John Lennon
Highly recommended.
August 21, 2018
This thin volume changed my life.
I chose this book in response to this category from the Traveling Sisters Challenge that I participated in during January this year:
A book about a subject you are afraid of.
I spent a lot of time searching through my books to come up with something because I’m really not afraid of very many things. Lots of other emotions, indeed, but fear and I have come to terms in most areas of life. Then when I saw this book and realized it was about terrorism, I thought, “Here we go. This is it.”
Psychologists tell us that underneath anger is fear, and anger and hatred are first cousins – maybe even closer. So if we can emotionally move under our anger and hatred and deal with the fear, then the anger and hatred fall away.
And I will tell you now that this book changed my life because after reading this, there is just no room for fear anymore.
I still feel the grief we all share; I feel compassion; I even feel despair that our world seems to be spinning backward in so many ways. But anger and hatred? No – and “NO” to the underlying fear. All these are constricting emotions – ones that choke us off from living, loving, and being the pure souls that we are at essence.
In the words of a kind man named Philippe whose letter moved Antoine Leiris; words that speak for me, and for so many others:
”You are the one who was hurt, and yet it is you who gives us courage.”
I am grateful to Antoine Leiris who gave me the gift of courage to face down my fear.
I chose this book in response to this category from the Traveling Sisters Challenge that I participated in during January this year:
A book about a subject you are afraid of.
I spent a lot of time searching through my books to come up with something because I’m really not afraid of very many things. Lots of other emotions, indeed, but fear and I have come to terms in most areas of life. Then when I saw this book and realized it was about terrorism, I thought, “Here we go. This is it.”
Psychologists tell us that underneath anger is fear, and anger and hatred are first cousins – maybe even closer. So if we can emotionally move under our anger and hatred and deal with the fear, then the anger and hatred fall away.
And I will tell you now that this book changed my life because after reading this, there is just no room for fear anymore.
I still feel the grief we all share; I feel compassion; I even feel despair that our world seems to be spinning backward in so many ways. But anger and hatred? No – and “NO” to the underlying fear. All these are constricting emotions – ones that choke us off from living, loving, and being the pure souls that we are at essence.
In the words of a kind man named Philippe whose letter moved Antoine Leiris; words that speak for me, and for so many others:
”You are the one who was hurt, and yet it is you who gives us courage.”
I am grateful to Antoine Leiris who gave me the gift of courage to face down my fear.
June 18, 2018
The deadliest attack in France since WWII, the author's wife is killed in a terrorist shooting at a rock concert at the Bataclan Theater in Paris. His letter posted on Facebook declares the title of this short book, decrying the loss of his wife and the determination to not let hate define the future of his life nor his sons.
Heartbreaking, admirable so many thoughts running through my mind. The grief at times fairly leaps off the page but so does his love, determination and courage. Can't help asking myself if faced with the same situation if I could do the same? This is not something that is easy to answer, I don't think anyone can unless or until they are actually tested. Hopefully, this scenario will never arise.
I know in my heart how hard this is to do, but also that it is the right thing to do. When one lets bitterness and hate define their lives, they miss all the wonderful things that are all around us, the little moments. Plus, he has a young son to think of, take care of, sadness will be there, but just as he hopes so will little moments of happiness.
Heartbreaking, admirable so many thoughts running through my mind. The grief at times fairly leaps off the page but so does his love, determination and courage. Can't help asking myself if faced with the same situation if I could do the same? This is not something that is easy to answer, I don't think anyone can unless or until they are actually tested. Hopefully, this scenario will never arise.
I know in my heart how hard this is to do, but also that it is the right thing to do. When one lets bitterness and hate define their lives, they miss all the wonderful things that are all around us, the little moments. Plus, he has a young son to think of, take care of, sadness will be there, but just as he hopes so will little moments of happiness.
February 7, 2017
"On friday evening you stole the life of an exceptional person, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hatred".
These are the heart-rending words of Antoine Leiris, who after loosing his wife Helene in the Bataclan terrorist attack, wrote an open letter to the killers explaining why he would not be struck down with anger and fear. The letter itself is so calmly written with total meaning behind each and every sentence, there is no sign of hate or revenge fuelled anger at all. He remains strong and shows a power and determination over the cowardly attackers. They lost, and just made the bond between him and his young son even more vigorous.
"Of course I am devastated with grief, I grant you this small victory, but it will be short lived.
We will find each other again in heaven with free souls, which you will never have".
What words, what balls, what defiance!
I myself reside east of central Paris, and have passed the area that witnessed such bloodshead, it's certainly chilling, but also fills me with pride for the human race, knowing there were hundreds of people just out on a Friday night with family and friends having a great time with each other, rather than having a mindset of death and destruction that has absolutely no significance what so ever.
They may feel victorious in this battle, but the goodness in people has already won the war.
These are the heart-rending words of Antoine Leiris, who after loosing his wife Helene in the Bataclan terrorist attack, wrote an open letter to the killers explaining why he would not be struck down with anger and fear. The letter itself is so calmly written with total meaning behind each and every sentence, there is no sign of hate or revenge fuelled anger at all. He remains strong and shows a power and determination over the cowardly attackers. They lost, and just made the bond between him and his young son even more vigorous.
"Of course I am devastated with grief, I grant you this small victory, but it will be short lived.
We will find each other again in heaven with free souls, which you will never have".
What words, what balls, what defiance!
I myself reside east of central Paris, and have passed the area that witnessed such bloodshead, it's certainly chilling, but also fills me with pride for the human race, knowing there were hundreds of people just out on a Friday night with family and friends having a great time with each other, rather than having a mindset of death and destruction that has absolutely no significance what so ever.
They may feel victorious in this battle, but the goodness in people has already won the war.
August 26, 2025
لن أمنحكم كراهيتي كتاب للصحفي الفرنسي أنطوان لاريس الذي فقد زوجته هيلين يوم ١٣ نوفمبر عام ٢٠١٥ ..اليوم الذي يعتبر نقطة سوداء في تاريخ باريس المعاصر حيث قام مسلحون بالعديد من التفجيرات والعمليات الانتحارية و هيلين كانت واحدة من ضمن ٨٩ ضحية احتجزوا كرهائن في مسرح الباتاكلان وأطلق عليهم النار بطريقة عشوائية وقد تركت هيلين طفل صغير يبلغ من العمر سنة ونصف فقط..
قرر الكاتب أن يوجه رسالة إلي المسلحين في منشور علي الفيسبوك بأنه لن يحمل الكره لهم رغم ما فعلوه و انه يرفض أن يترك حياة ابنه الوحيد تنهار بسبب القتلة الإرهابيين وقد قرر كتابة هذا الكتاب ليظل شاهداً علي الأحداث..
كتاب حجمه صغير و لكنه مؤثر و مكتوب حلو..
قرر الكاتب أن يوجه رسالة إلي المسلحين في منشور علي الفيسبوك بأنه لن يحمل الكره لهم رغم ما فعلوه و انه يرفض أن يترك حياة ابنه الوحيد تنهار بسبب القتلة الإرهابيين وقد قرر كتابة هذا الكتاب ليظل شاهداً علي الأحداث..
كتاب حجمه صغير و لكنه مؤثر و مكتوب حلو..
December 6, 2016
Antoine Leiris began writing this book after composing a post on Facebook shortly after the murder of his wife, Hélène. Hélène was one of the concert-goers in attendance at the Bataclan in Paris on the evening of November 13, 2015. While Antoine was home caring for their seventeen-month-old son, he learns of the terror attack at the concert.
Leiris, in his online post, concedes that the love of his life was stolen but states that he won't give the terrorists "the satisfaction of hating you." He argues that he will not give in to hatred or regard his fellow citizens with suspension or sacrifice his liberties. In regards to his son, he responds that "we are going to play like every other day and all his life this little boy will be happy and free."
Leiris does not focus on the aspect of terrorism and how his wife died but instead writes about his grief and the prospect of raising his son without his mother. Written during the couple of weeks following the attack, it is raw and gut-wrentching. Even through I was on the verge of tears most of the time, this book is a beautiful tribute to Hélène.
Leiris, in his online post, concedes that the love of his life was stolen but states that he won't give the terrorists "the satisfaction of hating you." He argues that he will not give in to hatred or regard his fellow citizens with suspension or sacrifice his liberties. In regards to his son, he responds that "we are going to play like every other day and all his life this little boy will be happy and free."
Leiris does not focus on the aspect of terrorism and how his wife died but instead writes about his grief and the prospect of raising his son without his mother. Written during the couple of weeks following the attack, it is raw and gut-wrentching. Even through I was on the verge of tears most of the time, this book is a beautiful tribute to Hélène.
November 2, 2016
I don't quite know what to say after reading a gut-wrenching memoir of love such as this except that my heart goes out to Antoine Leiris and his young son Melvil as well as all the other families who lost loved ones in this horrific display of cowardice.
So tragic.
This is the second book I've read recently where I've ended with these words, only this is not Edgar Allan Poe fiction, it is real life horror at its worst!
April 20, 2025
عذرا..
ولكني سأمنح كل العالم كراهيتي..
عالم بلا إنسانية، عالم كاذب تحكمه وسائل إعلام مضللة.
ربما تكون المراجعة بعيدة عن الكتاب، ربما لا أملك حس تسامح مثل الكاتب الذي فقد زوجته في عمل إرهابي في باريس تاركة طفل رضيع لم يحفظ ملامحها بعد، ربما تملكني اليأس بسبب ما يحدث من فواجع.
تشاء الظروف أن أكتب هذه المراجعة في ظل أوضاع قاسية مجردة من الإنسانية، القصف الإسرائيلي لغزة في أكتوبر عام ٢٠٢٣.
أنطوان لاريس صحفي فرنسي فقد هيلين زوجته وأم ابنه البالغ من العمر ١٧ شهر في عملية إطلاق نار وإلقاء قنابل في مسرح باتاكلان في باريس، ذهب ٨٨ ضحية نتيجة لهذا العمل الإرهابي، بعدها نشر أنطوان بوست على الفيسبوك منه هذه الكلمات
" طالما هو على قيد الحياة، سيتحداكم هذا الطفل الصغير بسعادته وحريته".
"لا أعرف من أنتم ولا أريد أن أعرف، أنتم أرواح ميتة... كل رصاصة في جسد زوجتي هي جرح في قلبه"
دعني أبوح لك بسر يا أنطوان لا أستطيع حقا لا أستطيع أن أسامح أو أصالح، لقد تم تصنيفنا يا صديقي فأنت في المكانة والمرتبة التي أعطتك فرصة إيصال صوتك إلى العالم أجمع، عالم أقام الحداد لجريمة باريس الشنعاء، ولكنه لا يمتلك الوقت ولا الاهتمام لوقف قصف مستشفى وجامع وكنيسة وقافلة مشردين أُعطوا الأمان للنزوح، قافلة من نساء وأطفال قصفوها بدماء باردة.
دعني أخبرك يا أنطوان أننا هنا في العالم الثالث والشرق الأوسط ليس لدينا صوت ولا إعلام يصل إليك لتقيم الحداد معنا على أرواح أطفال ورضع غزة، بل ويحاول إعلامك أن يقنعنا أننا السبب في موتنا فنحن لا نموت بسهولة، فالقضاء علينا مرهق لجيوشكم.
هل تعلم يا أنطوان أن دولتك فرنسا بلد النور والحب تدعم قتلة أطفالنا!
هل تعلم يا أنطوان أن إعلامك في جزءك من الخريطة ينشر أخبار كاذبة وملفقة عن الفلسطينيين ويوافق على كل هجوم وقصف للكيان الصهيوني، نقول لكم نساء وأطفال وكبار سن جرحى ومرضى يقولوا بدأتم وهم أضرار جانبية كل حرب لها ضحاياها، أصبح أطفالنا أهداف طائراتكم وصواريخكم.
جرحوا قلب ابنك بعد أن قتلوا أمه، هنا قتلوا الأم والابن والعائلة بأكملها حرقا تحت أنقاض بيوتهم ومن نجا ينتظر دوره فكل كائن حي في غزة مشروع شهيد متحرك.
ليتك تعلم يا أنطوان ما يحدث في غزة ربما تستطيع أن تكتب بوست على الفيسبوك يؤثر في مجتمعاتكم ربما تساعد في إيقاف هذه الإبادة الجماعية.
للأسف يا صديقي فبلادك أصبحت بأرواح وقلوب ميتة.
لن أستطيع تحميل كل صورة تعبر عن الموت والألم واليأس تستطيع أن تبحث بضغطة زر ليظهر لك آلاف الصور والفيديوهات الكفيلة بجعلك تلعن التصنيفات البشرية والديمقراطية الزائفة وحقوق الإنسان الكاذبة.
استمتعوا…
دمتم قراء... ❤❤❤
July 29, 2023
❞ «كان يا ما كان…». حكاية أب وابنه استيقظا فوجدا أنفسهما بمفردهما، دون مساعدة ذلك القمر الذي تعهدا له بالولاء. ❝
في الثالث عشر من نوفمبر عام 2015، قُتلت زوجة "أنطوان لاريس"، "هيلينا مويال لاريس"، هي و88 آخرين في مسرح "باتاكلان" بباريس، عندما قام ثلاثة رجال مسلحون بإطلاق النار وإلقاء القنابل على الجمهور بحفل لموسيقى الروك.
باريس مدينة الحب والسلام يلوثها الإرهاب والرصاص وفساد القلوب والعقول !!
هذا الكتاب كتبه الصحفي انطوان لاريس بعد وفاة زوجته في الحادث الإرهابي الذي حدث في فرنسا ، كتب معاناته بعد فقدانها وتولية تربية طفلهم الذي يبلغ عمره ١٧ شهر فقط!!
كأن الكاتب كتب بقلم ينزف دمًا ، قلب معذب ، مجروح ، يعاني أصعب مصائب الدنيا وهي فجيعة الموت وفقدان من نحب :")
❞ بموت «هيلين» انتهت الحكاية، ولم يعد هناك ما نحكيه. ❝
ماتت زوجته الجميلة هيلين برصاص غادر ودم بارد ، هؤلاء الارهابيون هل لديهم علم بأن ربما من يقلتونه لديها طفل رضيع أو حتى تحمل في احشائها جنين ؟
الكتاب مؤثر جدا رغم صغر حجمه ولكن مشاعر الكاتب تجاه زوجته وابنه الصغير لا يمكن وصفها في مجرد كتاب صغير ، أحببت علاقته بزوجته وحديثه عنها ، الحب والولاء والإخلاص ، احببت هيلين مع اني لا أراها
حيث كتب عن ابنه قائلًا: "طالما هو على قيد الحياة، سيتحداكم هذا الطفل الصغير بسعادته وحريته".
كما قال:
"لا أعرف من أنتم ولا أريد أن أعرف، أنتم أرواح ميتة... كل رصاصة في جسد زوجتي هي جرح في قلبه"
تأثرت بأسلوب الكاتب شعرت كأني أجلس معه ويروي لي مع حدث وما يشعر استطاع أن تصل مشاعره لقلبي ، لامسني شعوره بالفقدان لا أدري هل لأني شعرت بالفقدان يومًا من فقدان نور بيتنا وعامود البيت أمي الحبيبة ، أم لأن جرحه جرح حقيقي استطاع أن يصل ويشعر به كل قارئ!؟
الإرهابيون لا صلة لهم بالدين وإن كانوا يفعلوا هذه المجازر بإسم الدين ، فالدين سواء الإسلام أو المسيحية أو اليهودية بريء منكم
دائمًا وأبدًا
درسنا في علم النفس أن التطرف والإرهاب لهم عدة أسباب بداية من اتخاذ القدوة السيئة تحت اسم الدين والشخص الإرهابي شخص متزعزع الإيمان ليس لديه عقيدة سليمة ، حتى أنه لا يدري الهدف منا يفعله وإلام يؤول أمره اصلا!!
❞ المقام الأول والأخير، تبقى قضية الإرهاب قضية تلحق الضرر بالجميع دون تفرقة؛ لتبقى الإنسانية سلوكًا عالميًا لا يخص وطنًا دون الآخر، ورسالة واحدة لكل سكان المعمورة. ❝
تمّت 27/12/2022 💚📚
October 31, 2019
Achingly Extraordinary!!!!!
Sad - speechless - tragic - but sincerely EXTRAORDINARY... of what this great courageous man is teaching us ...
Hate doesn’t transform healing - EVER!
Love does!
Sad - speechless - tragic - but sincerely EXTRAORDINARY... of what this great courageous man is teaching us ...
Hate doesn’t transform healing - EVER!
Love does!
April 27, 2017
Those with no one to blame are alone with their grief. I am one of them. Alone with my son.
It could have been a reckless driver who forgot to brake, a tumor that was slightly more malignant than the others, or a nuclear bomb. The only thing that matters is that she’s no longer here. Guns, bullets, violence – all of this is just background noise to the real tragedy now taking place: absence
Audio book narrated by Gildart Jackson ( 1h 43m)
Heartbreaking, yet, uplifting You Will Not Have My Hate is one man's journey in the days following the November 2015 attacks in Paris as he takes readers through the loss of his wife Helene, and dives into fatherhood with the couple's 17 month old son. The book is sparked from a Facebook post that the author wrote after the aforementioned events. There were so many beautiful lines in this book and the English translation from the French is absolutely gorgeous. After listening to the book I went online and read interviews with the author. It appears that his Facebook post and book have divided people all across the world. Personally, I found Antoine Leiris so very brave to pen his personal loss to millions of people across the globe. I am sure that it( the book's heart) has and will continue to draw readers in.
It could have been a reckless driver who forgot to brake, a tumor that was slightly more malignant than the others, or a nuclear bomb. The only thing that matters is that she’s no longer here. Guns, bullets, violence – all of this is just background noise to the real tragedy now taking place: absence
Audio book narrated by Gildart Jackson ( 1h 43m)
Heartbreaking, yet, uplifting You Will Not Have My Hate is one man's journey in the days following the November 2015 attacks in Paris as he takes readers through the loss of his wife Helene, and dives into fatherhood with the couple's 17 month old son. The book is sparked from a Facebook post that the author wrote after the aforementioned events. There were so many beautiful lines in this book and the English translation from the French is absolutely gorgeous. After listening to the book I went online and read interviews with the author. It appears that his Facebook post and book have divided people all across the world. Personally, I found Antoine Leiris so very brave to pen his personal loss to millions of people across the globe. I am sure that it( the book's heart) has and will continue to draw readers in.
May 22, 2017
On November 13, 2015 terrorists opened fire on a crowd of people at a concert in Paris killing 89.This is a memoir by Antoine Leiris whose wife was killed. It is his thoughts, his grief, and his love for his 17 month old son and his wife. He wrote a letter on Facebook and was shared all over the world. It started... "On Friday night, you stole the life of an exceptional being, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hate."
This is a very powerful, heartbreaking and uplifting book. It's about grief but also love. What a wonderful dad he is.
If you have lost a loved one recently, i would wait a while before reading it. It brings back so many emotions.
This is a very powerful, heartbreaking and uplifting book. It's about grief but also love. What a wonderful dad he is.
If you have lost a loved one recently, i would wait a while before reading it. It brings back so many emotions.
December 10, 2018
On November 13, 2015, Antoine Leiris's wife, Hélène Muyal-Leiris, was killed by terrorists while attending a rock concert at the Bataclan Theater in Paris. Three days later, Antoine wrote an open letter to his wife’s killers on Facebook. He refused to be cowed or to let his baby son’s life be defined by their acts.
‘For as long as he lives, this little boy will insult you with his happiness and freedom,’ he wrote. Instantly, that short post caught fire and was shared thousands of times around the world. You Will Not Have My Hate is a remarkable and heartbreaking memoir, covering the two weeks after his wife’s death.
Antoine Leiris tries to make sense of all the horrible things he and his baby son are going through: racing through all the hospitals in the city, being consoled by friends and family, visiting her dead body, preparing the funeral, going through her things and sorting them, clipping the nails of his son for the first time. There are a lot of firsts in here, albeit no happy ones.
How do you make a one year old understand that his mom will never come home again? How do you cope with the fact that kids don’t remember anything before the age of three? Antoine Leiris deals with these questions with such care and love, I raise my hat before him.
Sure, he’s desperate, he’s angry, he thinks it’s unfair that life goes on without taking into consideration that his life is in pieces; but for all that, he tries to find light in times of darkness. He knows he must be there for his son. He knows it’s his burden to bear, but also his blessing.
‘For as long as he lives, this little boy will insult you with his happiness and freedom,’ he wrote. Instantly, that short post caught fire and was shared thousands of times around the world. You Will Not Have My Hate is a remarkable and heartbreaking memoir, covering the two weeks after his wife’s death.
Antoine Leiris tries to make sense of all the horrible things he and his baby son are going through: racing through all the hospitals in the city, being consoled by friends and family, visiting her dead body, preparing the funeral, going through her things and sorting them, clipping the nails of his son for the first time. There are a lot of firsts in here, albeit no happy ones.
Since Hélène's death, there is no tale to tell. It's the end of the story. There are only these instants that rise up, taking me by surprise. It was these moments I had to write about, Polaroids of a life that has not yet got its breath back.I admire and appreciate Antoine Leiris’ courage and resilience and cannot put into words how much his memoir moved me. Many people have used writing as a tool to deal with whatever they're going through, however, Leiris found metaphors and words that are so raw and real, they stopped my breath. In particular, all the little moments and conflicts that revolved around his son made my heart clench, I couldn’t stop my tears.
This book will not heal me. No one can be healed of death. All they can do is tame it. Death is a wild animal, sharp-fanged. I am just trying to build a cage to keep it locked in. It is there, beside me, drooling as it waits to devour me. The bars of the cage that protect me are made of paper. When I turn off the computer, the beast is released.
How do you make a one year old understand that his mom will never come home again? How do you cope with the fact that kids don’t remember anything before the age of three? Antoine Leiris deals with these questions with such care and love, I raise my hat before him.
Suddenly Melvil lets go of my hand. He climbs on the gravestone, crushing the roses and the lilies that are no match for his determination. I am afraid he is looking for her. He keeps going through the jungle of regrets. Grabs the photo. Takes it with him. Then comes back to me, and holds my hand. I know he has found her.It is absolutely incredible how Leiris, after all he’s been through, still manages to spread a message of hope and love instead of despair and hate.
He wants to leave. Right away. No hanging around. He wants to take Mama back home with us. I don't resist. He wants arms around him. I hold him right against me. She is with us. There are three of us. There will always be three of us.
On our way out, I see the puddle. I hop into it. He laughs.
Sure, he’s desperate, he’s angry, he thinks it’s unfair that life goes on without taking into consideration that his life is in pieces; but for all that, he tries to find light in times of darkness. He knows he must be there for his son. He knows it’s his burden to bear, but also his blessing.
July 17, 2016
20/20
Un texte bouleversant pour se battre contre l’horreur et la peine, et pour vivre encore plus fort. La force de cet homme est admirable. Il est, d’une certaine façon, sauvé par son fils et par l’amour qu’il porte à sa femme. Cette lecture marque à jamais et porte des messages de paix et de tolérance qu’on ne se lassera jamais de lire tant ils sont importants.
Ma chronique : https://myprettybooks.wordpress.com/2...
Un texte bouleversant pour se battre contre l’horreur et la peine, et pour vivre encore plus fort. La force de cet homme est admirable. Il est, d’une certaine façon, sauvé par son fils et par l’amour qu’il porte à sa femme. Cette lecture marque à jamais et porte des messages de paix et de tolérance qu’on ne se lassera jamais de lire tant ils sont importants.
Ma chronique : https://myprettybooks.wordpress.com/2...
December 25, 2023
4.5 ✰
this book is an account of the days that followed antoine's devastating loss in which his wife, hélène who attends a concert with a friend where a terrorist attack in bataclan theater, paris takes place.
despite its small size, both in terms of physical dimensions and number of pages, the book carries immense weight. through a journal-like narrative, leiris sheds light on the profound trauma and damage he experiences, allowing readers to truly understand the magnitude of his pain.
it's truly heart-wrenching, but at the same time, it's incredibly inspiring to see so many emotions flooding my mind. the sorrow is palpable, but so is his unwavering love, determination, and bravery. i can't help but wonder if i would be capable of the same strength if faced with a similar situation. it's not an easy question to answer, and i believe nobody can truly know unless they are put to the test themselves. hopefully, we'll never have to find out.
deep down, i understand how difficult it is to make such a choice, but i also recognize that it's the right thing to do. when we allow bitterness and hatred to consume us, we miss out on all the beautiful things that surround us, those precious little moments. moreover, he had a seventeen months old son who relies on him, and while sadness will always be present, he hopes that moments of happiness will also find their way into their lives.
pre-review: ❝normal day turns into a life-altering event for antoine and his son as they are left devastated to lose their beloved wife and mother, hélène who attends a concert with a friend where a terrorist attack in the bataclan theater, paris takes place.❞
the fact that it's based on a true story adds an extra layer of difficulty and heartbreak, and i don't feel ready for this!!!
❝i’ve looked everywhere for her.❞
❝ . . .❞
❝is there anyone left in there?❞
❝monsieur, you should prepare yourself for the worst.❞
this book is an account of the days that followed antoine's devastating loss in which his wife, hélène who attends a concert with a friend where a terrorist attack in bataclan theater, paris takes place.
despite its small size, both in terms of physical dimensions and number of pages, the book carries immense weight. through a journal-like narrative, leiris sheds light on the profound trauma and damage he experiences, allowing readers to truly understand the magnitude of his pain.
it's truly heart-wrenching, but at the same time, it's incredibly inspiring to see so many emotions flooding my mind. the sorrow is palpable, but so is his unwavering love, determination, and bravery. i can't help but wonder if i would be capable of the same strength if faced with a similar situation. it's not an easy question to answer, and i believe nobody can truly know unless they are put to the test themselves. hopefully, we'll never have to find out.
it is the most insignificant moments, where there is nothing to show, nothing to tell, that are the most beautiful. those are the ones that fill my memory.
deep down, i understand how difficult it is to make such a choice, but i also recognize that it's the right thing to do. when we allow bitterness and hatred to consume us, we miss out on all the beautiful things that surround us, those precious little moments. moreover, he had a seventeen months old son who relies on him, and while sadness will always be present, he hopes that moments of happiness will also find their way into their lives.
pre-review: ❝normal day turns into a life-altering event for antoine and his son as they are left devastated to lose their beloved wife and mother, hélène who attends a concert with a friend where a terrorist attack in the bataclan theater, paris takes place.❞
the fact that it's based on a true story adds an extra layer of difficulty and heartbreak, and i don't feel ready for this!!!
June 15, 2018
This will be a difficult book to rate, and maybe I shouldn't even try. Who can judge the personal inner thoughts of a man who has just lost his beloved wife in a terrorist attack? I could say that I normally don't care for short staccato sentences such as I found here, but how is that relevant when the man is grieving and trying to hold it together for his toddler son?
It's always remarkable to me when victims of violence have no interest in lashing out or hating the perpetrators. They have my respect and admiration.
It is such a quick read, in no time the book is over but the author's pain will linger on. As will his love for his small family. The last half was very sweet as he and his son bond together with their memories and a photo of the woman they have lost, promising that there will always be three of them.
A good read for this upcoming Father's Day.
It's always remarkable to me when victims of violence have no interest in lashing out or hating the perpetrators. They have my respect and admiration.
It is such a quick read, in no time the book is over but the author's pain will linger on. As will his love for his small family. The last half was very sweet as he and his son bond together with their memories and a photo of the woman they have lost, promising that there will always be three of them.
A good read for this upcoming Father's Day.
November 17, 2016
Few books move me; this one is both heartbreaking and heartwarming and it shows the power of words.
In the week when Sting gave a concert in Paris to mark the first anniversary of the attacks on Paris and the terrible loss of life at the Bataclan Theatre in Paris. On 13 November 2015, Antoine Leiris’s wife, Hélène, was killed, along with 88 other people. Here is his account in the hours and days after his personal loss up to the day after her funeral.
Today's media means we have insights into such horrors with an immediacy that makes us feel present and sharing in the grief. But news reporting perhaps only blunts our senses. We feel a loss of our own liberty as we recognise similar behaviours and familiar habits seen in fellow human beings slaughtered while out enjoying life. But we are bereft of a deeper loss; our vicarious sadness is born out of a common lifestyle and perhaps our feet that have trodden those streets.
However we are frauds. We cannot know or imagine the grief, the loss or the emptiness that void left by the death of a significant other caught up in a National atrocity unless we have faced a similiar unfolding nightmare. Sadly they appear to be happening more frequently.
What Antoine Leiris has indirectly achieved in his honesty and profoundly personal outpouring of his loss may have been cathartic for him, a means to cope and re-focus on his son but for those able to read his words we can be move, learn to empathise and mourn with him.
The death of his soulmate, the mother of his child is raw as any death could be in any circumstances of a loved one whose life is so bound up in those who share a home. He collects his thoughts and owns them as he shares them with others; through social media and now this book.
The insights he affords the readers are a gift. In reading his words we cease to be voyeurs we become human and are able to be moved and shed a tear.
We cannot make him a hero; he walks a path he didn't choose but in spelling out his fears and utter devastation he strangely makes it less arduous if such a way was our future.
The concept of "You Will Not Have My Hate" isn't a castaway slogan or a mantra to prevent self destruction. It is, and you must read the book to understand, a place of sanity to face the future. He isn't a special person in his eyes but to survive in the short term and to live for his wife he needs to affirm his difference from those whose hatred caused so much distruction and blotting out of lives.
That this book is just a brief insight into the period up to the funeral means that he acknowledges other processes will occur during his time of bereavement. That his words as collected in this moving book can impact upon others like it has happened to me does not mean his found a formula to combat grief or that this is a self-help guide to get from death of a loved one to their funeral intact.
Rather, it is a remarkable story of survival in the interim that acknowledges the problems ahead and should provide him the space to be himself, less than perfect and a human as he has made me feel. His life and that of his son going forward is not unlike any other where death has intervened but for the empathy he has afforded me I can only wish good things for his family.
A book that is short and can be read in one sitting. A book that will strengthen one's spirit and a resource to return to when life appears out of kilter.
A must read - a most remarkable book.
In the week when Sting gave a concert in Paris to mark the first anniversary of the attacks on Paris and the terrible loss of life at the Bataclan Theatre in Paris. On 13 November 2015, Antoine Leiris’s wife, Hélène, was killed, along with 88 other people. Here is his account in the hours and days after his personal loss up to the day after her funeral.
Today's media means we have insights into such horrors with an immediacy that makes us feel present and sharing in the grief. But news reporting perhaps only blunts our senses. We feel a loss of our own liberty as we recognise similar behaviours and familiar habits seen in fellow human beings slaughtered while out enjoying life. But we are bereft of a deeper loss; our vicarious sadness is born out of a common lifestyle and perhaps our feet that have trodden those streets.
However we are frauds. We cannot know or imagine the grief, the loss or the emptiness that void left by the death of a significant other caught up in a National atrocity unless we have faced a similiar unfolding nightmare. Sadly they appear to be happening more frequently.
What Antoine Leiris has indirectly achieved in his honesty and profoundly personal outpouring of his loss may have been cathartic for him, a means to cope and re-focus on his son but for those able to read his words we can be move, learn to empathise and mourn with him.
The death of his soulmate, the mother of his child is raw as any death could be in any circumstances of a loved one whose life is so bound up in those who share a home. He collects his thoughts and owns them as he shares them with others; through social media and now this book.
The insights he affords the readers are a gift. In reading his words we cease to be voyeurs we become human and are able to be moved and shed a tear.
We cannot make him a hero; he walks a path he didn't choose but in spelling out his fears and utter devastation he strangely makes it less arduous if such a way was our future.
The concept of "You Will Not Have My Hate" isn't a castaway slogan or a mantra to prevent self destruction. It is, and you must read the book to understand, a place of sanity to face the future. He isn't a special person in his eyes but to survive in the short term and to live for his wife he needs to affirm his difference from those whose hatred caused so much distruction and blotting out of lives.
That this book is just a brief insight into the period up to the funeral means that he acknowledges other processes will occur during his time of bereavement. That his words as collected in this moving book can impact upon others like it has happened to me does not mean his found a formula to combat grief or that this is a self-help guide to get from death of a loved one to their funeral intact.
Rather, it is a remarkable story of survival in the interim that acknowledges the problems ahead and should provide him the space to be himself, less than perfect and a human as he has made me feel. His life and that of his son going forward is not unlike any other where death has intervened but for the empathy he has afforded me I can only wish good things for his family.
A book that is short and can be read in one sitting. A book that will strengthen one's spirit and a resource to return to when life appears out of kilter.
A must read - a most remarkable book.
December 17, 2020
We will never return to our life of before. But we will not build a life against them. We will move forward in our own life.
On November 13, 2015, terrorists attack Bataclan Theatre, Paris, and the (journalist) author's wife, Hélène, is murdered, along with 88 others people. This book is the story of his struggle in the days after, left behind to find a way to go on, taking care of their 17-months-old son, Melvil, who is too young to comprehend completely what is going on, but who feels the absence of his mother in his own way.
(Melvil is about a month older than my nephew; both are now, at the time of this review, 6. I wonder how Melvil thinks about this loss now, and hope hate never finds a fertile ground to grow in him, now or in the future *)
Melvil is still a toddler, with a vocabulary of "mama, papa, milk". His reaction to his mother's absence and papa's strange behavior shows in his moods and general restlessness. Routines are important, and help his father too. Melvil goes to a nursery regularly, and I think that's helpful too, though the food gifts from there are not quite appreciated by him. The letters his father gets also bring weight to their sorrow, though well-meaning.
I was a little surprised to re-remember by looking around that the Charlie Hebdo attack was well before this, at the start of that year. I myself have been to the Bataclan, but a little over a decade before; still, it felt like 'I know that place' when I heard the news of the attack.
She had gone there to see Eagles Of Death Metal. A friend, N., had gone there with her, and survived though wounded. It's good that he and the author could meet and talk a few days after, good for both of them.
It's hard to read how the author got his first signs that something was wrong (the text messages), the echoing place when the full news rushed in. His visit to the mortuary, his two letters in this book (the other one was written on behalf of Melvil, a letter to his mother). To read his moods developing over following days: irritations, silence, hard time accepting life goes on. His memories of her: meeting her 12 years before, her looks, her clothes and perfumes.
Hard to read all those moments when he (and often also Melvil) cry over the loss... watching pictures of her while listening to a playlist made by her, when he feels like a bad dad, though not being particularly so.
He feels lost, afraid he won't meet the expectations of mourning people might have, worrying if he will be judged for future behaviors...
'Stay strong' is a life sentence. After trying to relieve me of the weight of this grief during the time it takes to have a conversation, the other person hands it back to me, intact... I am unmasked.
But as their visit to her grave shows...
that life goes on, people go on living and loving; the sorrow will perhaps not vanish, but as he said in his letter to the terrorists - the best thing he and his son can do is live life, live it with its ups and downs, and not let their catastrophe stop things, nor make them live with hate these evil people so badly wanted. These evil people are dead and fade into history pages - he and his son will live, and have good memories of the wife and mother they lost with them.
(*from a baby-names book, under the name 'Melville':
'...originated as a Norman baronial name... of a place in northern France called Malleville, "bad settlement" i.e. settlement on infertile land.')
On November 13, 2015, terrorists attack Bataclan Theatre, Paris, and the (journalist) author's wife, Hélène, is murdered, along with 88 others people. This book is the story of his struggle in the days after, left behind to find a way to go on, taking care of their 17-months-old son, Melvil, who is too young to comprehend completely what is going on, but who feels the absence of his mother in his own way.
(Melvil is about a month older than my nephew; both are now, at the time of this review, 6. I wonder how Melvil thinks about this loss now, and hope hate never finds a fertile ground to grow in him, now or in the future *)
Melvil is still a toddler, with a vocabulary of "mama, papa, milk". His reaction to his mother's absence and papa's strange behavior shows in his moods and general restlessness. Routines are important, and help his father too. Melvil goes to a nursery regularly, and I think that's helpful too, though the food gifts from there are not quite appreciated by him. The letters his father gets also bring weight to their sorrow, though well-meaning.
I was a little surprised to re-remember by looking around that the Charlie Hebdo attack was well before this, at the start of that year. I myself have been to the Bataclan, but a little over a decade before; still, it felt like 'I know that place' when I heard the news of the attack.
She had gone there to see Eagles Of Death Metal. A friend, N., had gone there with her, and survived though wounded. It's good that he and the author could meet and talk a few days after, good for both of them.
It's hard to read how the author got his first signs that something was wrong (the text messages), the echoing place when the full news rushed in. His visit to the mortuary, his two letters in this book (the other one was written on behalf of Melvil, a letter to his mother). To read his moods developing over following days: irritations, silence, hard time accepting life goes on. His memories of her: meeting her 12 years before, her looks, her clothes and perfumes.
Hard to read all those moments when he (and often also Melvil) cry over the loss... watching pictures of her while listening to a playlist made by her, when he feels like a bad dad, though not being particularly so.
He feels lost, afraid he won't meet the expectations of mourning people might have, worrying if he will be judged for future behaviors...
'Stay strong' is a life sentence. After trying to relieve me of the weight of this grief during the time it takes to have a conversation, the other person hands it back to me, intact... I am unmasked.
But as their visit to her grave shows...
that life goes on, people go on living and loving; the sorrow will perhaps not vanish, but as he said in his letter to the terrorists - the best thing he and his son can do is live life, live it with its ups and downs, and not let their catastrophe stop things, nor make them live with hate these evil people so badly wanted. These evil people are dead and fade into history pages - he and his son will live, and have good memories of the wife and mother they lost with them.
(*from a baby-names book, under the name 'Melville':
'...originated as a Norman baronial name... of a place in northern France called Malleville, "bad settlement" i.e. settlement on infertile land.')
December 9, 2024
رواية فرنسية سردت وقائع حقيقية بقلم صحفي فرنسي فقد زوجته في الأحداث الدامية التي تلت أكثر من تفجيير إنتحاري في باريس كانت مجزرة بمعنى الكلمة و كانت سبب موت الكثير من الأشخاص . وهنا يحكي لنا الزوج فقدان زوجته و استمرار حياته مع طفله ذا الثمانية عشر شهر بعد الفاجعة.
رواية مليئة بأحاسيس الفقد و ألم ما بقي من تلك الأسرة الصغيرة السعيدة قبل فقدانها الأم و الزوجة .
دمعت عيناي أكثر من مرة خصوصا محاولاته للتأقلم مع الوضع الجديد و محاولته لسد فراغ الأم في حياة طفله ... و هذا الملاك الصغير رغم صغر سنه فهو يدري جيدا أنه فقد أمه و أنها لن تعود ..
مظاهر الشفقة في كل من يقابل الأب و صغيره تألم القلب أكثر مما تساعد و محاولاتهم لتقديم المساعدة للزوج المفجوع
وأكثر ما لمس قلبي أمهات الأطفال في الحضانة التي يرتادها الطفل اليتيم و تقديمهن لوجبات منزلية للطفل في محاولة حزينة منهم لتقديم وجبات من إعداد أيادي الأمهات الحنونة مثل كل أصدقاءه لكي لا يحس بالنقص أمامهم ، أكثر موقف أوجع قلبي و جعل عيني تدمع ألما ، ما أقسى اليتم و ما أحزن الأيتام و خصوصا فقدان الأم .
فعلا موت الغفلة فاجع و فقدان الزوجة مؤلم و اليتم قاتل ، تربية طفل بدون أم لهو أمر جد صعب خصوصا حين يأخذ الأب على عاتقه مسؤولية إتقان الدورين معا ..
أما عن الرواية أسلوبها بسيط و كلماتها كالرصاص تخترق القلب لانها كتبت بألم ، و رغم فاجعته فالزوج المكلوم غير حاقد أو كاره على هؤلاء الإنتحاريين سبب هذه المجزرة ، كان قد نزلها منشور على الفايسبوك وبعد الصدى الكبير الذي لاقاه المنشور قرر صاحبه سرد حياته وحياة طفله و تغيرها بعد فقدان زوجته.
لم يمنحهم كراهيته لم يكره أو يحقد على الإرهابيين لكنه أكمل ما تبقى من حياته مفجوع.
رواية مليئة بأحاسيس الفقد و ألم ما بقي من تلك الأسرة الصغيرة السعيدة قبل فقدانها الأم و الزوجة .
دمعت عيناي أكثر من مرة خصوصا محاولاته للتأقلم مع الوضع الجديد و محاولته لسد فراغ الأم في حياة طفله ... و هذا الملاك الصغير رغم صغر سنه فهو يدري جيدا أنه فقد أمه و أنها لن تعود ..
مظاهر الشفقة في كل من يقابل الأب و صغيره تألم القلب أكثر مما تساعد و محاولاتهم لتقديم المساعدة للزوج المفجوع
وأكثر ما لمس قلبي أمهات الأطفال في الحضانة التي يرتادها الطفل اليتيم و تقديمهن لوجبات منزلية للطفل في محاولة حزينة منهم لتقديم وجبات من إعداد أيادي الأمهات الحنونة مثل كل أصدقاءه لكي لا يحس بالنقص أمامهم ، أكثر موقف أوجع قلبي و جعل عيني تدمع ألما ، ما أقسى اليتم و ما أحزن الأيتام و خصوصا فقدان الأم .
فعلا موت الغفلة فاجع و فقدان الزوجة مؤلم و اليتم قاتل ، تربية طفل بدون أم لهو أمر جد صعب خصوصا حين يأخذ الأب على عاتقه مسؤولية إتقان الدورين معا ..
أما عن الرواية أسلوبها بسيط و كلماتها كالرصاص تخترق القلب لانها كتبت بألم ، و رغم فاجعته فالزوج المكلوم غير حاقد أو كاره على هؤلاء الإنتحاريين سبب هذه المجزرة ، كان قد نزلها منشور على الفايسبوك وبعد الصدى الكبير الذي لاقاه المنشور قرر صاحبه سرد حياته وحياة طفله و تغيرها بعد فقدان زوجته.
لم يمنحهم كراهيته لم يكره أو يحقد على الإرهابيين لكنه أكمل ما تبقى من حياته مفجوع.
November 19, 2016
Well I haven't been given a free copy of this book in exchange of an honest review, I have bought it myself.
But nonetheless here comes my honest review.....
First of all, I've been literally crying throughout the entire book. And I'm not ashamed to confess it.
Have you noticed how often I use "I" and "I'm" in this review?
It's because for me I take this book very personal. Which means, this book will get you too, it will get under your skin too and it will sink its teeth deep into your soul too and make you hurt.
But let's us talk about the story.
Antoine Leiris is a journalist in Paris, who's lost his young wife in an coordinated brutal and inhuman Islamic extremist terror attack (please, forgive me if I'm not being politically correct, but I only want to tell the truth) . He's left behind with his 17 months son.
Well, then he give a meticulous outline of how he try to cope with such situation.
And it is just right here where I can find the real value and preciousness of it.
Because the easy way would be to answer with anger....
Then he says: " so, no, I will not give you the satisfaction of hating you. That is what you want, but to respond to your hate with anger would be to yield to the same ignorance that made you what you are. You want me to be scared, to see my fellow citizens trough suspicious eyes, to sacrifice my freedom for security. You have failed. I will not change...."
This book will break your heart and at the same time its like a so needed beam of light in an dark and sombre time.
The attacks in Paris on 23 November 2015 at the Bataclan theatre have us not defeated, this is the message in this biography.
Particularly I've been deeply moved how Leiris awake gradually from his stupor to the gruesome fact, and here again it's how he depict it: "I thought that if the moon ever disappeared, the sea would retreat so no one would see it crying. I thought the winds would stop dancing. That the sun would not want to rise again. Nothing of the kind. The world continues to turn....."
It's a good book, but much better would have been that it never needed to be written.
Yes, I strongly recommend this book to everyone who wants to see trough the eyes of a victim the events from that night.
Five stars, and well earned!!!
But nonetheless here comes my honest review.....
First of all, I've been literally crying throughout the entire book. And I'm not ashamed to confess it.
Have you noticed how often I use "I" and "I'm" in this review?
It's because for me I take this book very personal. Which means, this book will get you too, it will get under your skin too and it will sink its teeth deep into your soul too and make you hurt.
But let's us talk about the story.
Antoine Leiris is a journalist in Paris, who's lost his young wife in an coordinated brutal and inhuman Islamic extremist terror attack (please, forgive me if I'm not being politically correct, but I only want to tell the truth) . He's left behind with his 17 months son.
Well, then he give a meticulous outline of how he try to cope with such situation.
And it is just right here where I can find the real value and preciousness of it.
Because the easy way would be to answer with anger....
Then he says: " so, no, I will not give you the satisfaction of hating you. That is what you want, but to respond to your hate with anger would be to yield to the same ignorance that made you what you are. You want me to be scared, to see my fellow citizens trough suspicious eyes, to sacrifice my freedom for security. You have failed. I will not change...."
This book will break your heart and at the same time its like a so needed beam of light in an dark and sombre time.
The attacks in Paris on 23 November 2015 at the Bataclan theatre have us not defeated, this is the message in this biography.
Particularly I've been deeply moved how Leiris awake gradually from his stupor to the gruesome fact, and here again it's how he depict it: "I thought that if the moon ever disappeared, the sea would retreat so no one would see it crying. I thought the winds would stop dancing. That the sun would not want to rise again. Nothing of the kind. The world continues to turn....."
It's a good book, but much better would have been that it never needed to be written.
Yes, I strongly recommend this book to everyone who wants to see trough the eyes of a victim the events from that night.
Five stars, and well earned!!!
August 12, 2018
Gerçek hikaye olan kitaplar beni daha çok etkiliyor. Gerçekten insanların bunu yaşamış olması ve aklıma düşen "ya benim başıma gelseydi?" sorusu içimi parçalıyor. Eğer bu olay benim başıma gelseydi ben hayatıma böyle devam edebilir miydim? Hiç sanmıyorum. Ama Antoine'nin davranışı bende hayranlık uyandırdı. Oğlu için dik durması ve ona mutu bir ortam sağlaması bence yapılabilecek en onurlu davranış.
Kitapta kısa bir süreyi okuyoruz 10 gün kadar. Antoine'nin karısı Helen bir konsere gidiyor ve teröristler tarafından öldürülüyor. Antoine de 17 aylık oğlu ile baş başa kalıyor bir anda. Ve biz o geceden cenazeye kadar olan süreyi okuyoruz. Dediğim gibi gerçek bir olay olması iç parçalayıcı. Şu an baba oğulun ne yaptığını, Antoine'nin oğluna, nefretsiz bir hayat sunup sunamadığını çok merak ediyorum. Mutlaka alıp okumalısınız, hayatınızı değiştirecek diyemiyorum ama @bkmkitapcom da 3 TL bence alıp okumalısınız.
Kitapta kısa bir süreyi okuyoruz 10 gün kadar. Antoine'nin karısı Helen bir konsere gidiyor ve teröristler tarafından öldürülüyor. Antoine de 17 aylık oğlu ile baş başa kalıyor bir anda. Ve biz o geceden cenazeye kadar olan süreyi okuyoruz. Dediğim gibi gerçek bir olay olması iç parçalayıcı. Şu an baba oğulun ne yaptığını, Antoine'nin oğluna, nefretsiz bir hayat sunup sunamadığını çok merak ediyorum. Mutlaka alıp okumalısınız, hayatınızı değiştirecek diyemiyorum ama @bkmkitapcom da 3 TL bence alıp okumalısınız.
July 29, 2016
Die 5 Sterne, sind nicht mit einer anderen Bewertung zu vergleichen. Denn ich persönlich finde, dass dieses Buch nicht als gut oder schlecht zu bewerten ist.
Diese 141 Seiten, sind voll mit Liebe, Trauer, Leben, Freude und Erinnerungen.
Es waren 141 Seiten pure Emotion und Gänsehaut für mich.
Mehr kann ich dazu in diesem Moment, kurz nachdem ich es beendet habe nicht sagen.
Dafür gibt es keine Worte....
Diese 141 Seiten, sind voll mit Liebe, Trauer, Leben, Freude und Erinnerungen.
Es waren 141 Seiten pure Emotion und Gänsehaut für mich.
Mehr kann ich dazu in diesem Moment, kurz nachdem ich es beendet habe nicht sagen.
Dafür gibt es keine Worte....
August 2, 2022
-هناك اقسى من هذا بكثير لكن المميز هنا ليس الحادث ولا المجتمع ولا البطل ولا كل هذا....
المميز هنا هو سخط الكاتب من البشر الذين يرون كل من هو في مصيبة بطلا وينتظرون منه الكثير والكاتب يقول انه ليس بطلا انما القدر اصابه بدون ان يأخذ رأيه..فكتب هذه الفقرة :-
●"فجأة!
انتابني الخوف.. خوف من الا اكون في المنزلة التي وضعني الناس بها أو التي ينتظرون أن يرونني بها، ألم يعد لي الحق في أن اكون خائر القوى ضعيف العزم؟ الحق في أن اكون غاضبا؟ الحق في أن يطفح بي الكيل ؟ الحق في ان أشرب حتى الثمالة وأن ادخن ؟ الحق في أن احب امرأة اخرى ، او لا احب ؟ الحق في أن ابدأ حياة جديدة او لا ابدأ ؟ الحق في عدم رغبتي في اللعب و الذهاب للمنتزهات أو رواية القصص و الحكايات؟الحق في أن اخطئ الحق في ان اتخذ قرارات خاطئة؟ الحق في ألا يكون لدي وقت؟ الحق في أن اكون حاضرا؟ الحق في ألا اكون مضحكا؟ الحق في أن أكون ساخرا؟ الحق في أن تكون بعض أيامي عسيرة وصعبة؟ الحق في أن استيقظ متأخرا ؟ الحق في ان اتاخر عن موعد خروج ميلفيل من الحضانة ؟ الحق في ان اترك الاطباق دون غسيل والمنزل دون ترتيب حتى اعود؟ الحق في ألا يكون مزاجي معتدلا ؟ الحق في ألا افصح عن كل أسراري؟ الحق في ألا اتحدث عنها ؟ الحق في أن اكون إنسانا عاديا؟ الحق في ألا اكون على دراية بكل شئ ؟ الحق في ألا اريد الحق في ألا اكون مذنبا؟؟؟؟ "
المميز هنا هو سخط الكاتب من البشر الذين يرون كل من هو في مصيبة بطلا وينتظرون منه الكثير والكاتب يقول انه ليس بطلا انما القدر اصابه بدون ان يأخذ رأيه..فكتب هذه الفقرة :-
●"فجأة!
انتابني الخوف.. خوف من الا اكون في المنزلة التي وضعني الناس بها أو التي ينتظرون أن يرونني بها، ألم يعد لي الحق في أن اكون خائر القوى ضعيف العزم؟ الحق في أن اكون غاضبا؟ الحق في أن يطفح بي الكيل ؟ الحق في ان أشرب حتى الثمالة وأن ادخن ؟ الحق في أن احب امرأة اخرى ، او لا احب ؟ الحق في أن ابدأ حياة جديدة او لا ابدأ ؟ الحق في عدم رغبتي في اللعب و الذهاب للمنتزهات أو رواية القصص و الحكايات؟الحق في أن اخطئ الحق في ان اتخذ قرارات خاطئة؟ الحق في ألا يكون لدي وقت؟ الحق في أن اكون حاضرا؟ الحق في ألا اكون مضحكا؟ الحق في أن أكون ساخرا؟ الحق في أن تكون بعض أيامي عسيرة وصعبة؟ الحق في أن استيقظ متأخرا ؟ الحق في ان اتاخر عن موعد خروج ميلفيل من الحضانة ؟ الحق في ان اترك الاطباق دون غسيل والمنزل دون ترتيب حتى اعود؟ الحق في ألا يكون مزاجي معتدلا ؟ الحق في ألا افصح عن كل أسراري؟ الحق في ألا اتحدث عنها ؟ الحق في أن اكون إنسانا عاديا؟ الحق في ألا اكون على دراية بكل شئ ؟ الحق في ألا اريد الحق في ألا اكون مذنبا؟؟؟؟ "
November 13, 2016
Понеже книгата ме остави безмълвна и с подпухнали от плач очи, смятам само да споделя един от многото цитати, които предизвикаха всевъзможни чувства у мен.
„Плача, говоря ѝ, искам да остана още час, поне ден, може би цял живот. Но трябва да я оставя. Луната трябва да залезе. Днес, 16 ноември, слънцето изгря за нашето ново „имало някога едно време”. Историята на баща и син, които продължават да живеят сами, без помощта на звездата, на която са се заклели във вярност.”
Специално този разби сърцето ми на хиляди частици.
„Плача, говоря ѝ, искам да остана още час, поне ден, може би цял живот. Но трябва да я оставя. Луната трябва да залезе. Днес, 16 ноември, слънцето изгря за нашето ново „имало някога едно време”. Историята на баща и син, които продължават да живеят сами, без помощта на звездата, на която са се заклели във вярност.”
Специално този разби сърцето ми на хиляди частици.
November 6, 2022
كان يا ما كان... إنها حكاية أب وابنه استيقظا فوجدا أنفسهما بمفردهما، دون مساعدة ذلك القمر الذي تعهدا له بالولاء.
في الثالث عشر من نوفمبر عام 2015، لم تعد مدينة العاصمة الفرنسية كما كانت، ولم يُقتبس من نورها المزيد، أخمدوا بريقها بنيرانهم، وكسروا أنيابها بأنيابهم. في مساء الجمعة الغاضبة، في يوم لم يتوقعه أحد، فقدت باريس أكثر من 129 شخصاً، 89 منهم فقط في أحداث مسرح الباتاكلان، وإصابة ما لا يقل عن 352 شخصا، 99 منهم كانوا في حالة حرجة، وربما فاجعهم الموت كما فاجع الجميع حينها.
كانت تشبه فصل الصيف، فهي دافئة، مشرقة، مفعمة بالحياة، لكن هذا لا يمنع وجود بعض موجات الحر الشديد التي تعكر صفو هذا الفصل الجميل. لكنه في النهاية فصل الحرية حيث لياليه القصيرة التي تجعل عندنا الرغبة في الحب.
الأن هذه مجرد أرقام، تلك الأرقام لا تنبض دماً، ولا تتنفس روحاً، ولا تتحدث شجناً أو عقلاً. لكنها لم تكن أرقام لأنطون لاريس، بل فقد زوجته هيلين لاريس. في ليلة لم يظهر القمر بعدها أبداً.
أظلمت مدينة النور حين أغمضت "هيلين" عينيها، تلك العينان الواسعتان التي ترى بهما العالم بأسره.
هنا عندما تتحدث الإنسانية، هنا حيث يتحدثون بلغة واحدة يعرفها العالم أجمع، من الشرق الأقصى، لبلاد الغرب والألوان، من الشرق الأدنى، لبلاد الجليد والنيران. إنها لغة خلقنا بها الله، فطرة الإنسان حيث خُلق أدم منذ حين. إنها النسانية وبغض الموت وألم الفقدان، الأمر لا يتعلق بباريس قط، ولا أنطون لاريس وحده، الأمر يتعلق بإرهاب غاشم خطف روح لم يكن لها من الذنب شيئاً سوى إنها في مسرح الباتاكلان في ذلك اليوم فقط. ذلك الكتاب لا يتحدث بلغة الإسلام، أو المسيحية، او اليهودية أو أي ديانة سماوية، اليوم نتحدث بلغة عرفها الإنسان منذ قابيل وهابيل.
إنه الفقد، إنه الألم، إنها الغصة التي لن تترك قلبك بعدها أبدا. والطفل الذي سيبحث عن أمه عمراً ولا يعرف بأي ذنب تركته وهو في شهره السابع عشر.
لكن هذا الكتاب لن يخفف عني ما أنا فيه، فلا يستطيع أحد أن يتغلب على الموت. وكل ما نستطيع فعله مجرد ترويضه.
ولأن الموت هو المصيبة اليقينية الوحيدة التي تصيب الإنسان بلا سابق ميعاد، بلا إنذار، يأتيك حيث تكون وأينما تكون وفي أرض يشاء، وبأي وقت يشاء.
فقرر أن يكتب أنطون لاريس في هذا الكتاب عن الموت، موت زوجته، حيث اختصه القدر وحده دون عن غيره بتلك الفاجعة.
دائماً ما يخالطنا الانطباع بأن - الذي يحيا ويعيش في ظروف صعبة يكون بطلًا، خاصة إذا ما شاهدنا الأمور من بعيد، وأنا أعرف أنني لست بطلاً، فكل ما هنالك أن القدر أصابني ليس أكثر، أصابني بذلك المصاب دون أن يأخذ رأيي.
في عصر، يتربص الموت بنا من كل ركن، في زمن نشتم فيه رائحة الموت في الشوارع، في مباني المدينة، في عام 2015، حيث أنتشر الدم في فرنسا ومصر واليمن وسوريا وليبيا والعراق، والكثير من الكثير. وفي عامنا الحالي حيث ينتشر الدم في أوكرانيا، وفلسطين الجريحة على الدوام. في زمنٍ لا يعرف الموت فيه انتظاراً أو رحمة بنا، فهو قادم دائماً في ميعاده حيث ينتظرك وتنتظره، كتب أنطون لاريس كتاب هو الافضل والأكثر إيلاماً عن تلك الفترة بلا شك. كُتبَ بمشاعره، بشجنه، ببساطته، بفقدانه لقمره الذي لن يضيء أبداً. قرر أن يكتب ببساطة لأنه لا يعرف سوى الكتابه، كان يعرف من عالمه هيلين وميلفيل وكتاباته، فقد أولهم، ولم يتبقى إلا هو وميلفيل وقلمه. فقرر أن يوثق الموت في أبشع صورة ممكنة، ويصور المشاعر بأسمى تعبير عنه.
عندما وقعت خنفساؤنا الجميلة على أنف الساحرة الشريرة التي كانت بحوزتها بندقية كلاشينكوف، حكمت عليها بالموت بضغطة من إصبعها
قد كتب أنطون لاريس منشور شائع جداً حينها بعد تلك الأحداث بأيام قليلة، كان عنوانه لن أمنحكم كراهيتي، واليوم اقرأ كتابه بنفس العنوان تقريبا. حكاية أب وأبن لا يعرفون سبيلهم بعد. تخليداً لما حدث في باريس ولاريس تحديداً، قرر ألا يمنحهم كراهيته أبداً وأن تستمر حياته حيثما يشاء.
فكانت تلك هي السطور الأولى من المنشور:
مساء الجمعة سرقتم حياة إنسان استثنائي، حب عمري، أم ابني، ولكنني لن أمنحكم كراهيتي.
لا أعرفكم ولا أريد أن أعرفكم، فأنتم بالنسبة لي أرواح ميتة، وإذا كان هذا الإله الذي تقتلون من أجله بشكل عشوائي، وهو قد خلقنا على صورته، فإن كل رصاصة في جسد زوجتي هي جرح في قلبه.
اخيرا مؤلم ذلك الكتاب جداً، يترك فيك أثراً لا يمكن أن يمحوه أحد، ويقتطع من قلبك جزءٍ لا يمكن إستعادته مرة أخرى. نحن لا نختص باريس بالتعاطف فقط، ونحن لا نختص أنطون لاريس، نحن نختص الإنسانية كلها بالألم، نختص كل إنسان فقد رفيق روحه دون سبب، دون سابق إنذار، نحن نختص أهل كل البلدان بالتعاطف مادام لم يكونوا معتدين ابداً. نختلف كثيرا مع فرنسا سياسياً ودينياً أعلم ذلك وأنا أول المختلفين، لكن أحداث نوفمبر، ستظل النقطة الأكثر إيلاماً في تاريخ فرنسا الحديث. حيث لا يعرف أنطون لاريس ممن يقتص لزوجته، فهم أرواح ميتة كما وصفهم.
وعندما لا يجد المرء أحدًا يلقى عليه باللوم يظل وحيداً مع أحزانه.
ولقد ختم أنطون لاريس الكتاب بتلك الكلمات، وهي معبرة ومختصرة لكل ما كان يعانيه حينها، وربما يعانيه ويتألم منه حتى الأن، فالموت لا يمحوه مرور الليالي ولا تعاقب الأقمار والسماوات، فعش ما شئت، وأفعل ما تريد، لن يتركك ما فقدت ابداً. فلا أحد يمحو الموت.
’’ اقتربنا من المقبرة. وصلنا هناك. هنا ترقد حياتي كلها تحت قدمي. ترقد هنا في بضع أمتار قليلة، يحيطها الحجارة والبرودة والطين. كم هي قصيرة تلك الحياة. وضعت تلك الصورة التي كانت معي في وسط الزهور البيضاء التي كانت تزين المقبرة كأنها مجموعة من النجوم المعلقة في سماء الليل. لكنه ليل غاب عنه القمر. فهو محبوس في مقبره ولن يظهر مرة أخرى!. ’’
August 8, 2019
Nu veti avea ura mea este un manifest la adresa atacurilor teroriste de la Bataclan, Paris din 13 noiembrie 2015. Jurnalistul Antoine Leiris isi pierde sotia, pe Hélène Muyal-Leiris si implicit o bucata din inima sa. Nu veti avea ura mea este un manifest pe care recunosc, nu am fost pregătită sa-l citesc, drept pentru care m-a lovit direct in inima. Am plâns. Mi-am imaginat toate acele situații si am plâns. Mi-am dorit să pot schimba tot ce s-a întâmplat și iar am plâns. Mi-am imaginat cat de multe "Helene" au fost luate atunci de lângă familiile lor. Mi-am dat seama ca pt restul, cei neafectati, lumea merge mai departe, dar pt unii... viata chiar se oprește, are parte de un reset (pe care nu l-au cerut si nu si l-au dorit), si apoi se reia.
Nici nu stiu ce m-a durut mai tare. Neputința? Poate ca da.
Nu veti avea ura mea este povestea tuturor celor care au avut pe cineva drag la Colectiv, este povestea tuturor celor care au privit moartea cum le reteaza o aripă lăsându-i betegi pe viata, este povestea tuturor si ce mi-e cel mai greu sa suport este gandul ca, ar fi putut fi povestea mea sau a oricui altcuiva drag mie.
Este scrisa pe etalonul: nu ati reusit sa ma doborati. Mi ati luat tot, dar parca mi a mai rămas ceva. Acel ceva este exact ce aveam nevoie pt a nu va permite sa aveti ura mea. Nici macar ura, care este un sentiment rece, dur, sec, nu o meritati.
Nu exista cuvinte care sa poata comenta ceea ce tocmai am citit, dar pot spune ca nu il veti considera timp pierdut. Merita de la prima litera pana la ultima!
5*.
Nici nu stiu ce m-a durut mai tare. Neputința? Poate ca da.
Nu veti avea ura mea este povestea tuturor celor care au avut pe cineva drag la Colectiv, este povestea tuturor celor care au privit moartea cum le reteaza o aripă lăsându-i betegi pe viata, este povestea tuturor si ce mi-e cel mai greu sa suport este gandul ca, ar fi putut fi povestea mea sau a oricui altcuiva drag mie.
Este scrisa pe etalonul: nu ati reusit sa ma doborati. Mi ati luat tot, dar parca mi a mai rămas ceva. Acel ceva este exact ce aveam nevoie pt a nu va permite sa aveti ura mea. Nici macar ura, care este un sentiment rece, dur, sec, nu o meritati.
Nu exista cuvinte care sa poata comenta ceea ce tocmai am citit, dar pot spune ca nu il veti considera timp pierdut. Merita de la prima litera pana la ultima!
5*.
August 3, 2025
El 13 de noviembre de 2015, en París, murieron 130 personas en una serie de atentados perpetrados por miembros del ISIS. Dos personas hicieron explotar bombas alrededor del Estadio de Francia, hubo tiroteos en bares y restaurantes y otros tirotearon y tomaron rehenes en la sala de conciertos Bataclan. En este último, fueron asesinadas 90 personas, entre ellas Hélène Muyal, esposa de Antoine Leiris y madre de Melvil, que tenía solo 17 meses.
Antoine se había quedado cuidando a su hijo en la casa y Hélène fue al concierto.
El 16 de noviembre, él publicó en Facebook una carta: No tendrán mi odio.
“El viernes por la noche le robaron la vida a un ser excepcional, al amor de mi vida y madre de mi hijo; pero no tendrán mi odio. No sé quiénes son y no quiero saberlo, ustedes son almas muertas. Si ese Dios por quien matan ciegamente nos ha hecho a su imagen, cada bala en el cuerpo de mi mujer habrá sido una herida en su corazón.
No les voy a dar el regalo de odiarlos. Ustedes lo han buscado, pero responder al odio por cólera sería ceder a la misma ignorancia que ha hecho de ustedes lo que son. Quieren que tenga miedo, que mire a mis conciudadanos con desconfianza, que sacrifique mi libertad por la seguridad.
La vi esta mañana. Finalmente, luego de noches y días de espera. Ella estaba tan hermosa como cuando partió el viernes por la noche, tan bella como cuando me enamoré locamente de ella hace más de 12 años. Por supuesto que estoy devastado por el dolor, les concedo esta pequeña victoria, pero será de corta duración. Sé que ella nos acompañará cada día y que nos encontraremos en ese paraíso de las almas libres al que ustedes nunca tendrán acceso.
Somos dos, mi hijo y yo, pero somos más fuertes que todos los ejércitos del mundo. No tengo más tiempo para dedicarle a ustedes, tengo que levantar a Melvil que se ha despertado de su siesta. Tiene apenas 17 meses, ahora comerá su merienda como todos los días, y luego iremos a jugar como todos los días; y toda su vida este niño los enfrentará para ser feliz y libre. Porque no, ustedes tampoco tendrán su odio.”
En su libro, publicado en 2016, Antoine Leiris no da detalles del atentado, no le da ningún protagonismo al Estado Islámico, ni siquiera lo nombra.
Acá escribe sobre su hijo, su esposa y el amor que les tiene. También escribe sobre el dolor, sobre lo que siente cuando la mitad de su mundo muere y tiene que seguir levantando a su hijo, llevándolo a la guardería, bañándolo y jugando con él.
No es un libro que busca compasión. Es, en todo caso, un testimonio de sus días desde ese 13 de noviembre a las 22:37 hasta el 26 de noviembre, cuando va con Melvil a visitar la tumba de Hélène por primera vez.
Antoine se había quedado cuidando a su hijo en la casa y Hélène fue al concierto.
El 16 de noviembre, él publicó en Facebook una carta: No tendrán mi odio.
“El viernes por la noche le robaron la vida a un ser excepcional, al amor de mi vida y madre de mi hijo; pero no tendrán mi odio. No sé quiénes son y no quiero saberlo, ustedes son almas muertas. Si ese Dios por quien matan ciegamente nos ha hecho a su imagen, cada bala en el cuerpo de mi mujer habrá sido una herida en su corazón.
No les voy a dar el regalo de odiarlos. Ustedes lo han buscado, pero responder al odio por cólera sería ceder a la misma ignorancia que ha hecho de ustedes lo que son. Quieren que tenga miedo, que mire a mis conciudadanos con desconfianza, que sacrifique mi libertad por la seguridad.
La vi esta mañana. Finalmente, luego de noches y días de espera. Ella estaba tan hermosa como cuando partió el viernes por la noche, tan bella como cuando me enamoré locamente de ella hace más de 12 años. Por supuesto que estoy devastado por el dolor, les concedo esta pequeña victoria, pero será de corta duración. Sé que ella nos acompañará cada día y que nos encontraremos en ese paraíso de las almas libres al que ustedes nunca tendrán acceso.
Somos dos, mi hijo y yo, pero somos más fuertes que todos los ejércitos del mundo. No tengo más tiempo para dedicarle a ustedes, tengo que levantar a Melvil que se ha despertado de su siesta. Tiene apenas 17 meses, ahora comerá su merienda como todos los días, y luego iremos a jugar como todos los días; y toda su vida este niño los enfrentará para ser feliz y libre. Porque no, ustedes tampoco tendrán su odio.”
En su libro, publicado en 2016, Antoine Leiris no da detalles del atentado, no le da ningún protagonismo al Estado Islámico, ni siquiera lo nombra.
Acá escribe sobre su hijo, su esposa y el amor que les tiene. También escribe sobre el dolor, sobre lo que siente cuando la mitad de su mundo muere y tiene que seguir levantando a su hijo, llevándolo a la guardería, bañándolo y jugando con él.
No es un libro que busca compasión. Es, en todo caso, un testimonio de sus días desde ese 13 de noviembre a las 22:37 hasta el 26 de noviembre, cuando va con Melvil a visitar la tumba de Hélène por primera vez.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,500 reviews