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Absolutely Positively Not
There is one thing Steven knows for He's absolutely, positively NOT gay.
Steven's a 16-year-old boy obsessed with sex and getting his driving license. The problem is, Steven's not thinking girls when he's thinking sex. Could he be -- don't say it -- gay? Steven sets out to get in touch with his inner he-man with Healthy Heterosexual Strategies such as "Start Hanging Out with the Guys," and "Begin Intensive Dating." But are Steven's tactics going to straighten him out, or leave him all twisted up?
Absolutely hilarious. Positively sidesplitting. But absolutely, positively NOT GAY!
Steven's a 16-year-old boy obsessed with sex and getting his driving license. The problem is, Steven's not thinking girls when he's thinking sex. Could he be -- don't say it -- gay? Steven sets out to get in touch with his inner he-man with Healthy Heterosexual Strategies such as "Start Hanging Out with the Guys," and "Begin Intensive Dating." But are Steven's tactics going to straighten him out, or leave him all twisted up?
Absolutely hilarious. Positively sidesplitting. But absolutely, positively NOT GAY!
224 pages, Hardcover
First published June 1, 2005
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4320 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 208 reviews
November 10, 2015
This was a special book for me. I never tire of reading YA books with gay main characters, probably because, at 60, I still can’t forget what it was to be a teenager just realizing I was gay, some 45 years ago.
Steven DeNarski is gay. But he doesn’t want to be, so he tries extremely hard NOT to be. Such energetic denial could be ugly, and in fact this book has quite a lot of pain in it; but David Larochelle manages to handle Steven’s angst, his fear, and his sadness with a sympathetic light-heartedness that kept me both smiling and on the verge of tears for most of the book.
There are any number of LGBT/YA clichés in this book, including the sassy best female friend and the crushworthy teacher. But that’s it. Every teenage life is somewhat the same, and the familiar patterns of a present-day boy are eerily like those of a boy in the late 1960s (as I recall). Some emerging gay boys have a horrible, traumatic time today, what with irrational parents and bullying in the schools worse than it was in my teen years. But every story doesn’t have to be about hard grief and physical trauma. Self-acceptance is traumatic enough, and we feel every bit of it as we follow Steven through his carefully concocted (but perhaps not entirely thought through) regimen of straightness.
Larochelle’s narrative is filled with lots of gently poignant touches: the hero with the feet of clay; the over-enthusiastic supportive friends who are way too ready for you to be gay; the quiet, painful, but ultimately healing responses from those who really matter. For all its humor, this book is full of such tender moments, that remind us all what a frightening rite of passage coming out was.
The book ends almost on a cliffhanger; but I very quickly realized it ended just perfectly. I re-read the last couple of paragraphs several times, and finally shut the book with a wistful smile on my face. I loved Steven DeNarski so much by the end of this book that it made up for all my worries as I followed his story. Because I remember how it felt, and I knew Steven was going to be all right.
Steven DeNarski is gay. But he doesn’t want to be, so he tries extremely hard NOT to be. Such energetic denial could be ugly, and in fact this book has quite a lot of pain in it; but David Larochelle manages to handle Steven’s angst, his fear, and his sadness with a sympathetic light-heartedness that kept me both smiling and on the verge of tears for most of the book.
There are any number of LGBT/YA clichés in this book, including the sassy best female friend and the crushworthy teacher. But that’s it. Every teenage life is somewhat the same, and the familiar patterns of a present-day boy are eerily like those of a boy in the late 1960s (as I recall). Some emerging gay boys have a horrible, traumatic time today, what with irrational parents and bullying in the schools worse than it was in my teen years. But every story doesn’t have to be about hard grief and physical trauma. Self-acceptance is traumatic enough, and we feel every bit of it as we follow Steven through his carefully concocted (but perhaps not entirely thought through) regimen of straightness.
Larochelle’s narrative is filled with lots of gently poignant touches: the hero with the feet of clay; the over-enthusiastic supportive friends who are way too ready for you to be gay; the quiet, painful, but ultimately healing responses from those who really matter. For all its humor, this book is full of such tender moments, that remind us all what a frightening rite of passage coming out was.
The book ends almost on a cliffhanger; but I very quickly realized it ended just perfectly. I re-read the last couple of paragraphs several times, and finally shut the book with a wistful smile on my face. I loved Steven DeNarski so much by the end of this book that it made up for all my worries as I followed his story. Because I remember how it felt, and I knew Steven was going to be all right.
July 15, 2012
As an LGBTQ teen in the process of coming out myself (I'm a bisexual girl) I found SO much to emphasize with in Absolutely Positively Not. I loved Steven; he was the right balance of quirky and normal, gay-but-not-too-gay. Occasionally his self-denying rants got a little ridiculous to someone like me, who has always grown up in a household where it's not a bad thing to be gay. He finds an old book which instructs parents how to 'fix' a gay teen and tries the methods on himself. I can't imagine anyone actually believing any of that anymore, but still it wasn't such a big part of the novel that it got in the way of anything,
Overall, the book isn't about much more than Steven coming out, but it's such a nice breath of fresh air. It's short and nice and fluffy. I read it in one sitting. The humor had me smiling on almost every page and I felt like LaRochelle just captured the experience of coming out as a teenager SO well. I'm not surprised that LaRochelle is gay himself seeing as on his website, he wrote "I did not find it difficult writing about a teenager who was confused over his sexual orientation because that’s exactly who I was growing up!" It's really nice reading an LGBTQ novel by an LGBTQ man.
What I didn't like was that it was so short. I could have, and would love to, read a giant book about Steven's adventures, but the story as it is felt right. I'd recommend it to anyone who's looking for a nice, short read, or any LGBTQ teens who are coming out or not.
Overall, the book isn't about much more than Steven coming out, but it's such a nice breath of fresh air. It's short and nice and fluffy. I read it in one sitting. The humor had me smiling on almost every page and I felt like LaRochelle just captured the experience of coming out as a teenager SO well. I'm not surprised that LaRochelle is gay himself seeing as on his website, he wrote "I did not find it difficult writing about a teenager who was confused over his sexual orientation because that’s exactly who I was growing up!" It's really nice reading an LGBTQ novel by an LGBTQ man.
What I didn't like was that it was so short. I could have, and would love to, read a giant book about Steven's adventures, but the story as it is felt right. I'd recommend it to anyone who's looking for a nice, short read, or any LGBTQ teens who are coming out or not.
June 17, 2021
The first time I ever heard the word "gay", it was in reference to this book. I was a third grader at a Catholic school, and the librarian was playing book trailers. It was clearly an accident that this book's was played, since it was 1) about a gay kid and 2) young adult, but by the time she realized what was happening, it was too late to turn it off. But the book always stuck with me, and I figured that for Pride (especially my first Pride semi-out to my parents) I would finally read this one.
Considering that it came out in 2005, this book has aged surprisingly well. I really liked Steven and I was pleasantly surprised by and how things like other teen boys and their coaches using homophobic slurs were absolutely condemned. Would I reread it? I'm not sure, but I'm glad that I have.
Considering that it came out in 2005, this book has aged surprisingly well. I really liked Steven and I was pleasantly surprised by and how things like other teen boys and their coaches using homophobic slurs were absolutely condemned. Would I reread it? I'm not sure, but I'm glad that I have.
February 15, 2009
I found this book to be a very unbelievable, clique story of a teen’s journey to discovering his homosexuality. Although it was refreshing to see a heavy subject dealt with in a light and somewhat humorous way, it was so unrealistic; it is hard for me to see how teens could benefit from it. It appeared to me to be a “Brady Bunch” version of a story of discovering your sexuality. Many stereotypes of homosexual people were used in this book which don’t really reflect reality. The teen also takes a dog to a school dance, which is not only unrealistically accepted by his peers, but seems to draw a line between bestiality and homosexuality that I think most homosexuals would find offensive. The teen does go to a support group for homosexuals which shows a Caring Neighborhood and a healthy way of dealing with life situations, but even this seems to be very unrealistically portrayed. This would probably not be the book on homosexuality I would choose to promote to teens, but if I had to, I would promote it as a humorous story of discovering one’s homosexuality.
1Q, 2P, M
1Q, 2P, M
October 6, 2014
Meh. This one felt very *junior* YA to me, like the training wheels were still on Steven's little pink pre-gay bicycle.
Even at the LGBT Youth Meeting, Steven only met girls, no boys at all. We wouldn't want to shock the readers by a gay boy actually meeting another gay boy face to face, would we? : /
For me, it had an overly sanitized, palatable fodder for the possibly homosexually-challenged in-class 8th grade reading assignment feel to it.
I'd much rather stick with a good Mark Roeder YA, if I'm going that route. Or re-read J.R. Lenk's 'Collide' again.
Even at the LGBT Youth Meeting, Steven only met girls, no boys at all. We wouldn't want to shock the readers by a gay boy actually meeting another gay boy face to face, would we? : /
For me, it had an overly sanitized, palatable fodder for the possibly homosexually-challenged in-class 8th grade reading assignment feel to it.
I'd much rather stick with a good Mark Roeder YA, if I'm going that route. Or re-read J.R. Lenk's 'Collide' again.
July 26, 2020
A 16-year-old boy wants two things: to get his driver's license and to be absolutely positively sure that he is not gay. Funny, touching, and affirming.
June 2, 2011
I'm so fond of this book. The protagonist is awesome, the story's delivered with a good dollop of humour and not a lot of angst, and it's simply a delightful read. I appreciate how the main character isn't just a gay guy, but a gay guy with a lot of weird quirks, like his Superman obsession and his passion for square-dancing. Plus, no tacked-on romance! Which made me especially endeared to the character, since too often queer YA novels are all this melodrama about this one character who's attracted to another same-sexed character, and said other same-sexed character miraculously reciprocates and all that. I'm glad to see that yeah, in some cases there AREN'T a lot of queer folks around you and you make do with what you've got. And I know I've read a great book when I can honestly say that I hate no character. I pretty much love everybody in this book (which is rare). Highly recommended for folks who're tired of all of the gay YA lit that's angst-ridden and melodramatic, and who want a simple, funny, and joyous tale of one quirky gay guy and his life.
March 24, 2021
I'm not into YA but this one was particularly good! Such a light reading dense with some thoughts about the testosterone/masculine/alpha-men society we're into and how this could build a wall towards ourselves. If only I'd the chance to read it back when I was 15yo, that would been so useful to understand how things should have to go, how we shouldn't be afraid to do the most natural and important thing in our life: to live.
May 26, 2018
3.5 stars
A tad juvenile in places but hilarious overall.
A tad juvenile in places but hilarious overall.
August 1, 2023
Racconta in modo diretto ma gentile le domande che ci si può fare sul proprio orientamento sessuale. Molto ottimista e incoraggiante, è adatto alle classi delle superiori
October 7, 2009
My Tasting:
Why I bought it:
I've been going through the YA books on Lee Wind's site and this blurb caught my imagination.
Dislike/like (ending on a high note):
Dislike~ Or more of a warning~ The people who think we're living in a gay utopia where all stories should reflect queer experiences where everyone automatically accepts and believes everything about themselves and each other and that this magically makes everything alright in the world should probably stay away from this book.
Like~ What I liked about it so much - and why gaytopians or conservatives aren't likely too (see above) - is that it is one of the first YA books I've read where the main character, Steven, really struggles, denies, explores, etc the fact that he might be gay. For this reason, I think this is a story many will be able to relate to because it reminds us of how we also stumbled our way through the highs and lows of adolescence in an attempt to work out who we were - or might be - as individuals.
Dislike~ Or another warning~ This is not a love story where the main character comes out because he's 'found' a boyfriend or whatever. I actually thought this made the theme more realistic because, rather than being based on external factors, Absolutely, Positively Not is, at its heart, a story about the acceptance of oneself. I personally find these stories the more empowering.
Like~ I LOLed, cringed, giggled, got exasperated, snorted and even awwed whilst reading this book. I finished it very satisfied that Steven had made a positive, if somewhat tentative, step forward on his journey, which I think is a testament to the development of both story and characters by this author.
So, what I think: Absolutely, Positively Not is a touching, funny and, above all else, convincing coming out story. It is perfect for those who enjoy YA and are interested in a couple of hours of entertaining reading. I really liked it.
=============================================
‘Tasting’ is my version of a mini-review where I talk a (very) little about what I liked and disliked about a book as well as who I think the story will appeal to. Oh, and I’ve added a bit about why I picked up the book in the first place – sometimes this can be interesting to know.
Why I bought it:
I've been going through the YA books on Lee Wind's site and this blurb caught my imagination.
Dislike/like (ending on a high note):
Dislike~ Or more of a warning~ The people who think we're living in a gay utopia where all stories should reflect queer experiences where everyone automatically accepts and believes everything about themselves and each other and that this magically makes everything alright in the world should probably stay away from this book.
Like~ What I liked about it so much - and why gaytopians or conservatives aren't likely too (see above) - is that it is one of the first YA books I've read where the main character, Steven, really struggles, denies, explores, etc the fact that he might be gay. For this reason, I think this is a story many will be able to relate to because it reminds us of how we also stumbled our way through the highs and lows of adolescence in an attempt to work out who we were - or might be - as individuals.
Dislike~ Or another warning~ This is not a love story where the main character comes out because he's 'found' a boyfriend or whatever. I actually thought this made the theme more realistic because, rather than being based on external factors, Absolutely, Positively Not is, at its heart, a story about the acceptance of oneself. I personally find these stories the more empowering.
Like~ I LOLed, cringed, giggled, got exasperated, snorted and even awwed whilst reading this book. I finished it very satisfied that Steven had made a positive, if somewhat tentative, step forward on his journey, which I think is a testament to the development of both story and characters by this author.
So, what I think: Absolutely, Positively Not is a touching, funny and, above all else, convincing coming out story. It is perfect for those who enjoy YA and are interested in a couple of hours of entertaining reading. I really liked it.
=============================================
‘Tasting’ is my version of a mini-review where I talk a (very) little about what I liked and disliked about a book as well as who I think the story will appeal to. Oh, and I’ve added a bit about why I picked up the book in the first place – sometimes this can be interesting to know.
August 1, 2014
Okay so this one was a cute coming out story that was rather humorous. I really enjoyed the first half, and I was often giggling whilst reading.
However, near the 60% mark there is so much awkward I couldn't hardly take it. I ended up skimming a bit to be honest.
The ending was nice too.
For fans of lgbt and coming out stories.
However, near the 60% mark there is so much awkward I couldn't hardly take it. I ended up skimming a bit to be honest.
The ending was nice too.
For fans of lgbt and coming out stories.
December 15, 2015
This is a great coming-out story. The first person narrative is witty and humorous. The quips are delightfully funny. Finding your own identity is such a cumbersome process that usually starts at the adolescent age, regardless of one's sexual preference, but it is kind of refreshing to find a book which has a different approach on the matter.
November 12, 2008
Cute book about a teen guy coming to terms with his sexuality. Nothing earth-shattering or even particularly memorable, but it’s funny (International Male!) and a lot more natural and less anvilicious than, say, Geography Club.
June 25, 2017
Surprisingly, I actually liked it. It was a common story of a confused boy who tried to weave through his sexual realization; in fact, it sounded boring. The character development was mostly surfacial and fleeting, so it was not a book to empathize or seek empathy. In most aspects, it was not something I would enjoy. But still, I had fun reading it (a fairly quick process) mainly for the nonchalant and rather airheaded main character/narrator/writing. Let's just say the story was depicted via the lenses of a dramatic teen, yet he was rational enough to not make the drama into a cheesy cringy wept of a gay boy. It was delightful, fast-paced, and very encouraging. Not in the sense of 'hey be proud of your sexuality and come out now' propaganda but it showed how we actually had a choice and a chance in experiencing and exploring our own self. I adored that mindset. After all, not everything is so easy to determine, but you don't necessarily have to beat yourself over deciding this or announcing that. Of course, it was not much of a grandeur in any way. It was entertaining only. If you want revolutionary books, forgo this one because it is so very soothingly naive for exhausted minds.
November 30, 2021
Living in Sri Lanka, this is only the third children's book I've ever read featuring a gay protagonist. And am I glad I did! This is a light and funny read about a very real situation. Steven is quirky and so very lovable and his relationships with those around him are all very endearing. As a reader I connected and cared about him very easily.
It's also an excellent introduction to those who may think they wouldn't enjoy LGBTQ literature...I read this in one sitting. To know that the author possibly experienced those feelings himself made the story so much more meaningful and I understand why it matters to hear these stories from those with the same lived experiences.
I did read some comments saying that it was unrealistic and not YA enough. But this book came out years ago when the publishing industry was very different, so you shouldn't be compared with current books in the same category. And as for comments saying that gay teens nowadays wouldn't be so unaware...do know that American books are read the world over. In my country, it's still very much stigmatised and I wish all kids (and parents) had access to this book!
It's also an excellent introduction to those who may think they wouldn't enjoy LGBTQ literature...I read this in one sitting. To know that the author possibly experienced those feelings himself made the story so much more meaningful and I understand why it matters to hear these stories from those with the same lived experiences.
I did read some comments saying that it was unrealistic and not YA enough. But this book came out years ago when the publishing industry was very different, so you shouldn't be compared with current books in the same category. And as for comments saying that gay teens nowadays wouldn't be so unaware...do know that American books are read the world over. In my country, it's still very much stigmatised and I wish all kids (and parents) had access to this book!
April 27, 2022
This is Steven’s tale of exploration and struggle to determine his sexual identity. Told in a very humorous fashion, this story follows Steven’s journey after he wonders when he is finally going to be interested in girls. He thinks himself to be a very observant individual in that he notices everything about his very attractive teacher, Mr. Bowman. He is sure, however, that if he can find just the right girl, his feelings about girls will change. But after 24 dates with 22 different girls, he’s pretty sure that he is gay. His best friend Rachel is ecstatic that he is finally coming out (since she has known for over a year) and wants to empower him by forming a gay-straight alliance at school. He still has a lot of questions, though, and can barely admit it to himself, never mind the kids at school! And he doesn’t know how to tell his parents. This fast-paced story is easy-to-read and will keep readers laughing. The reader can feel the pain Steven is experiencing as he methodically goes through the steps to prove that he is absolutely, positively, not gay. Both boys and girls will enjoy reading it. I highly recommend this one for kids in grades 6 and up!
June 30, 2019
You know it is a bad book when there are only 200 pages in it with extremely big letters and you struggle to finish it, while other books which contain more than 400 pages with letters' size as ants you finish in a day, because they are so good. I gave it 3 stars because I happen to be in a good mood, but generally, I would not give it more than 2.
By all means, I barley have anything to say. I will cut to the chase because I obviously read so much better and I have a feeling the next one will be just grand. No characters, except for maybe his best friend and his mother. Boring as hell, especially the first half, when he denies the most important part of himself. It was so irritating, I felt like gay people will actually find Steven's character extremely annoying. No love story, not a single event, just merely a lame process. It was so bad. Just another teenage's struggling story with his being gay. Nothing special about it.
By all means, I barley have anything to say. I will cut to the chase because I obviously read so much better and I have a feeling the next one will be just grand. No characters, except for maybe his best friend and his mother. Boring as hell, especially the first half, when he denies the most important part of himself. It was so irritating, I felt like gay people will actually find Steven's character extremely annoying. No love story, not a single event, just merely a lame process. It was so bad. Just another teenage's struggling story with his being gay. Nothing special about it.
March 3, 2018
I legitimately liked this book more than I thought I would. I was afraid that it would be a very stereotypical read. I won't spoil a lot, but the main reasons I liked this were:
1. The main character didn't need to be in a relationship to figure out his identity.
2. The character, although reluctant to admit he's gay, never once uses slurs to refer to gay people. In fact, he even dislikes it when other characters around him use such terms.
3. He felt real. It wasn't just the quirky misadventures he got involved in throughout the book, it was how he responded to the people around him. Particularly, in regards to his best friend. He loved her, but didn't feel the need to go along with her every whim, and even chastised her for pushing him too far at points. So many characters let themselves get pushed around with no fight, but their interactions felt more balanced than most.
1. The main character didn't need to be in a relationship to figure out his identity.
2. The character, although reluctant to admit he's gay, never once uses slurs to refer to gay people. In fact, he even dislikes it when other characters around him use such terms.
3. He felt real. It wasn't just the quirky misadventures he got involved in throughout the book, it was how he responded to the people around him. Particularly, in regards to his best friend. He loved her, but didn't feel the need to go along with her every whim, and even chastised her for pushing him too far at points. So many characters let themselves get pushed around with no fight, but their interactions felt more balanced than most.
March 17, 2021
Tiny, super sweet, and heartfelt book. Steven's character growth from denial to actively seeking out other gay teens (boys) to learn about himself and connect with others is *chefs kiss*.
This is a very lighthearted book, but still emotionally poignant & such a great read. I consumed it (seriously gobbled it up) in one sitting.
I especially liked how his driving test was all tied up in what he "needed" to drive to and how it related in the end to him coming out to his mom.
His coming out to his dad was also perfect, though probably statistically unrealistic. His dad (a silent man's man) responds to Steven by saying that there were "queers" in the army with him, and "Those two men were some of the bravest, most decent guys I have ever known. Don't you ever in your life forget that, okay?" And then doesn't mention it again & keeps cooking.
This is a very lighthearted book, but still emotionally poignant & such a great read. I consumed it (seriously gobbled it up) in one sitting.
I especially liked how his driving test was all tied up in what he "needed" to drive to and how it related in the end to him coming out to his mom.
His coming out to his dad was also perfect, though probably statistically unrealistic. His dad (a silent man's man) responds to Steven by saying that there were "queers" in the army with him, and "Those two men were some of the bravest, most decent guys I have ever known. Don't you ever in your life forget that, okay?" And then doesn't mention it again & keeps cooking.
January 19, 2018
I found the book superficial, especially after just finishing Misa Sugiura's "It's Not Like It's A Secret" (which I also didn't love but I at least got to know the character a lot more). I found Steven's choices odd (deciding to sit with the hockey players when that's not his usual clique and he didn't actually know any of them- I feel like that's not really a thing; and I breathed a sigh of relief when he finally stopped paying attention to that anti-gay book he got from the library) and the repetition of the phrase "absolutely, positively not" throughout the story made me feel like I was reading a book meant for a first grader. It's a cute, super quick read with a few laughs but it probably won't change your life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 24, 2024
Aside from the fact that I can't really relate to the story of a teenage boy coming to terms with the fact that he's gay, I really enjoyed this book. LaRochelle divides the story about equally between Steven's growing realization that he's gay and his process of coming out to his friends and family. Although the first half of the book became a bit tiresome after a while, the second half of the book more than made up for it. LaRochelle writes Steven's coming out scenes with humor and sensitivity.
February 27, 2018
In terms of personal enjoyment, I'd give it more of a 3. This wasn't a groundbreaking or super unique story about coming out, especially compared to the ones I've read lately. HOWEVER, this is clearly written for a younger reader, and with that in consideration, I think it's a great and short read about what someone might experience when questioning their sexual orientation in high school. For that reason, I gave it a 4.
January 31, 2020
Fun ride. Steven is incredible, he is mostly level headed but being a die hard Superman fan he finds in himself more and more bravado which leads to even more abstract and funny situations. I laughed every other page or more. The way he described other guys reminded me how in HP descriptions made me think that Harry was more attracted to boys. Read it in one go. Shame it ended so abruptly - would love to engage in more of his escapades but nevertheless it was quite a right moment.
December 24, 2022
This book touched me in part because I felt for the main character who was struggling to understand his own sexuality, wanting to be accepted by peers, and worried that those closest to him might not see him as the same person when they find out he's gay. It was SO Midwestern and often quite funny, but it also made my heart hurt for Steven. I would give it a 4.5 because I REALLY wanted Steven to have a moment with Mr. Bowman about why he allows homophobic jokes to go unchecked.
April 22, 2019
One of the original books selected but REJECTED by the administrators for the CCS/PFLAG Dayton Rainbow Reading project. Reason: because of the gay boy's crush on his male teacher. Clearly the admin didn't read the other books cover-to-cover because surely the loss-of-virginity scene in another book, which was added to all MS and HS collections would have raised more eyebrows. =-)
January 29, 2021
this is one of the most hilarious books I've ever read. It's a brilliant satire on masculinity, stereotypes and all the angsty tropes of most coming out fiction (you know the kind). Refreshingly hilarious, it's the perfect book when you need a break from the struggles our community usually faces in media.
April 26, 2019
Steven is adamant that he’s absolutely, positively not gay. But certain thoughts keep popping up in his head and no amount of suppression can turn those thoughts around.
Read the full review here.
Read the full review here.
May 17, 2020
3.5- I would have appreciated this more if I read it when I was younger, though I still found it real and truthful. While there is some terminology that some may find offensive due to it being largely uncommon today, the overall positive message remains the same.
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